Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 182 | Busyness

Episode Date: November 1, 2019

Personal updates and answering some of your most pressing political, biblical and relationship questions. Today’s Sponsor: Kabbage created a simple, modern way for businesses to access up to $250,000 of credit. Kabbage is offering $100 credit on your first loan statement when you use code ALLIE at https://Kabbage.com

Hey, this is Steve Day. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual, and rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity, and reality itself. On the Steve Day show, we take the news of the day and tested against first principles, faith, truth, and objective reality. We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort.

We ask the hard questions and follow the answers wherever they leave, even when it's unpopular. This is a show for people who want honesty over hype and clarity over chaos. If you're looking for commentary grounded in conviction and unwilling to lie to you about where we are or where we're headed, you can watch this D-Day show right here on Blaze TV or listen wherever you get podcasts. I hope you'll join us. Hey, guys, welcome to Relatable. Happy Friday. I hope everyone had a great Reformation Day or Halloween, whatever you celebrated, however you celebrated yesterday. We did the Holy Ween episode a few weeks ago where my mom gave her opinion on how we can celebrate Halloween in a more redemptive way. Maybe some of you did that. Maybe some of you passed out the little pieces of paper with candy that have the gospel on it. Maybe you made your own banners. Some of you reached out to me and showed me the designs of the banners that you guys put up so cute.

I wish I were creative. I'm not, well, I am creative in some ways when it comes to maybe like writing and how to explain something. But I'm not crafty. That's something that I always wish that I was. I wish I was crafty. even in like school projects growing up, I was really bad at those. I don't have good handwriting, but my mom, she's all of that. She does a really good job. And some of you are extremely talented.

It seems like when it comes to that because you sent me pictures of stuff and I'm just so impressed. So I hope that went well for you. Maybe you met some of your neighbors or maybe you went to a party, whatever. I hope that it was great and I hope that you've had a wonderful week. This is going to be a fun episode. It's not the episode that I said that we had planned on Wednesday. We were planning to talk about what's going on in Ireland right now with legislation about abortion and same-sex marriage and why that matters to us here. But unfortunately, that interview didn't end up working out. Hopefully, we'll be able to reschedule us for some time in the future. But this Friday, we're going to have a fun, lighthearted episode. I'm going to answer some of the questions that

you guys gave me. I'm going to give you a little update about life and the book that I'm writing and all that good stuff. Hey, this is Steve Deast. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual, and rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity, and reality itself. On the Steve Day show, we take the news of the day and tested against first principles, faith, truth, and objective reality. We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort. We ask the hard questions and follow the answers wherever they leave, even when it's unpopular. This is a show for people who want honesty over hype and clarity over chaos.

If you're looking for commentary grounded in conviction and unwilling to lie to you about where we are or where we're headed, you can watch this Steve Day show right here on Blaze TV, or listen wherever you get podcasts, I hope you'll join us. Today is just one of those days for me. This week was just one of those weeks. It's been a good week. Every week really is a good week. I have a lot to be thankful for and not a whole lot to complain about.

And so when I tell you that I'm tired, it is a good exhaustion. I have a lot of wonderful blessings in my life that make me tired in a really good way. But this is just one of those weeks where I just cannot. Do you know what I'm saying without me explaining? I just cannot. And what I mean by cannot, I just cannot do or feel like I cannot do anything that is not absolutely required of me in this moment. Do you know what I'm talking about? Last night, I went to go feed my daughter. She wasn't falling asleep and she typically goes to sleep around 7.30. It was like 9 o'clock. She couldn't fall asleep. And I went and I fed her and then I was like, okay, I'm just going to lay down for one

second. I'm just going to lay down for one second. I've got stuff to do. I need to write. I need to prepare for this podcast. I just need to do some things that really only are accomplished while she's sleeping. So I just laid down for a little bit at like 9.15. Didn't wake up until the next morning at 8 o'clock. At 8 o'clock. That tells you, I mean, I've stayed up probably until I don't typically do this, but until 2 every night this week. And I'll tell you why. I am working. I am working. on this book. I think I can tell you the title. Well, I'm a little bit worried that I can't, but I'm pretty sure it's somewhere online. It's called You're Not Enough and that's okay escaping the toxic culture of self-love. That's not the entire title. That's like the title and

the subtitle. But it's coming out next year and I'm super, super excited about it. But I have been working on this for a long time. If you don't know what the writing process is for a book, I'll tell you a little bit about it because some of you have been curious. It's different for everyone. But for me, it started really in August of last year. So August of 2018, I had a publisher reach out to me and say, hey, have you ever thought about writing a book? Here's an idea that we think that you would be really good at explaining.

And I actually had thought about writing a book. And I already had an agent at that point. And I was mulling over some ideas. this has evolved so much in the past year. It has evolved so much. As you guys know, I started out thinking I wanted to write a book about the greatest generation, the generation that lived through and even fought in World War II and the lessons that we could learn from them, passing it down to our generation and the generations after us. That ended up changing when I found out I was pregnant after I had already agreed to write this book with this amazing

publisher that I have. So it ended up changing to something a little bit, not easier necessarily, but kind of easier than that because that required so much research. I was even going to travel and try to interview some of the living members of the greatest generation. I still think it's a great idea, by the way, but it ended up just not being feasible with the timeline that we had and the fact that I was giving birth to a human being in July. So we ended up evolving it to eventually over lots of different stages to the book that it is now. And it's been solid writing, like actual writing, not just brainstorming and going back and forth on what this is going to look like, but actually writing probably since January. There are, there's so, I just didn't know

all the work that goes into writing a book. And I've always liked to write. I've always wanted to write a book far before I wanted to be any kind of commentator or have a podcast. I've always liked writing that was really the only thing, one of the only things I was good at growing up in school, this and drama. The two things that I was good at. Terrible at math, terrible at science, okay at history, but even that was a little bit too concrete for me when I was in school, didn't like multiple choice. But reading and writing and everything that went with that and the creativity that's kind of required, it's just something that I've always liked. And so I thought, okay, I've always been good at this, I've always been affirmed in this, it's always come pretty

easily to me, writing a book will be a piece of cake. Not so. It's very different I've learned from sitting down and preparing for a podcast. It's very different. When I sit down and prepare for a podcast, it just kind of flows. If I'm writing it out and I know a little bit of what I want to say, it just comes to me. Even when I'm talking about theology, I'm able to think, okay, this is the verse that I want here. This is the point that I want to make. But with a book, I think it's because you're thinking about its permanence and you're thinking about the fact that once it's out there, it's out there, I can't write a book the next week and retract something I said

or change something that I said, which is part of why it goes through such an editing process and it goes through so many hands before it actually gets into your hands. But, man, it's a lot of pressure. It's been a lot of pressure for me. Maybe it's not for any of you, maybe some of you have written a book, and maybe it's not a lot of pressure for you and it's come really easily for you. but to sit down and to look at a blank page and say, okay, I know what I want to say,

but how do I want to communicate it? For me, there's a lot of pressure for my writing to be perfect. I think some people are okay with sitting down and saying, okay, this is going to have an editor look over it anyway. I'm okay with it just kind of being a little bit sloppy or the syntax or the grammar not being great. For me, that's been a really hard hurdle to jump over because I don't want my editor, whom I love, by the way, she's amazing. her name is Helen. I don't want them to think that I'm a bad writer. I don't want them to think that I'm not good at grammar. I don't want them to see me misspell something and think, well, she's an idiot. Why is she writing a book for us? And so I feel a lot of pressure for things to be

perfect. And I've kind of had to let that go throughout this process and just say, okay, I just need to get the idea out there. I just need to get this idea out there and make it good. It doesn't have to be perfect right away and it's going to be work done and it has been work done. I've had a lot of help and a lot of guidance and a lot of feedback, a lot of thoughtful and productive criticism. And another thing that I've learned in writing a book is that you just lay down your pride. Right there at the door, you lay it down and you say, bye, there's no room for your ego or for your insistence upon doing something a certain way. Now, of course, if you ever work with the publisher, you'll know that you are the master, the controller of the process and of the

words that actually end up on the page. But you do have to say, okay, I am going to defer to other people's insight. I'm going to defer to other people's criticism and experience, experience and writing and editing books that I just don't have. I've had to let go of pages and paragraphs and sections that I really like. And then I always, every time I've looked back and said, that was absolutely the right choice to make. That was absolutely true that that needed to be cut out. But, you know, it's a process. And in this way, in this way, guys,

and I didn't even plan to bring this home in this way. It is much like the sanctification of our souls. And that there are things that we want to hold on to. There are things that we think are important to our lives, idols that we cling to, that Jesus says, nope, that's going to. Editing that out, cutting that out. and I am turning you into exactly what I want you to be perfectly holy and sanctified and only the Holy Spirit can do that. And it's very similar to writing a book. It's not an exact metaphor, but it is. It's

pruning the branches, so to speak, which is what Jesus does to us. So anyway, that is why I am tired this week, but tired in a good way. And whenever I get overwhelmed, and this is something that's applicable for all of us, no matter what the things are that are weighing you down or burdening you or the things that you're responsible for, I, whenever I feel overwhelmed with, oh my gosh, I don't know how I'm going to get this done. I don't know how I'm going to do all of this. I don't know how to manage my time well,

which is something that, quite frankly, I struggle with. I have to, instead of saying, oh, this week is so harder, oh, I have so much going on. There's no way I can handle it. And this person needs to do this and help me more, whatever. I can get cynical. negative, but the thing that I try to remind myself is that of how wonderful it is and what a privilege it is that I am busy with the things that I am busy with. Like how amazing is it? I remind myself that

God has given me this opportunity to have a book and to have a podcast and to have a daughter and to have a family and to have the things that we have. Those are wonderful blessings. And I am so thankful to be busy with the things that I am busy with. And I don't know what that is for you, whatever the things are that are busy and you, whether it's, even if it's a job that you don't like, I've had a job that I don't like before. And I can't say that I had the best attitude about that. And so I'm preaching to the choir when I say this, but it is a blessing for you to have a job, whatever that job is, that you are able to provide for your family with that job. It is a blessing to be busy with the things that we are busy with, as long as, as, as,

long as the things that we are busy with are held on to loosely, knowing that God can rearrange our priorities and our schedule and our responsibilities anytime he wants to. As long as we are not making busyness in idle, I think there's a difference between being busy and being a busy body, which we are not called to be, which is looking for things to do, looking for things to worry about, which I can sometimes have the tendency to do. But there's a difference between being a busy body and being productive and doing the things that we're supposed to do that we are called to do that give God glory with a cheerful and good attitude. That is certainly something that Jesus is teaching me to have a good attitude about all the responsibilities that I have, whatever is put on

my plate and to look at it and say, okay, is this productive? Does it glorify you? Does it help other people? And, you know, is this something that I should do? I do think there can be a problem. I think that we can sometimes idolize the word yes. We can also idolize the word no, but I think we can idolize the word yes, thinking that being busier or having a certain number of things on our resume or having a certain number of accomplishments or goals make us more important. And in God's kingdom, that's just not true.

It's just not true. It's just not true that being busy makes us more righteous or makes us more sanctified. We're supposed to be busy in doing good works, busy in doing the things that God has called us to do, but we're also called to rest. as God reminded me last night when I slept on and off for about 11 hours, that we are finite, that we are made to sleep, that we are made to have a Sabbath. Another thing that I struggle with doing, I'm just revealing all of my sins and hangups

to you guys. We are called to take a step back and to be rejuvenated and to be restored. And God doesn't need to rest. He doesn't need to be rejuvenated. He doesn't need to be restored. which is why bringing it back full circle, we are not enough. And that's okay. And we should escape the toxic culture of self-love, as my book's title and subtitle says.

Because we are never, we were never meant to be enough. We are fallible. We are incomplete. We are imperfect. But we get to rely on a perfect, infallible, holy, never changing, never needs to sleep, God. that is the beauty of realizing our not enoughness and resting in that. Okay, now that I've given you my spiel on kind of where I am in life and why, this is also why I haven't posted.

I don't post on Instagram nearly as much as I used to because I just got things. I just got things that I'm doing. But hey, the podcast has been doing really well. So I just want to thank you guys. Like the past couple of weeks have actually been the most downloads that we have ever had ever. And that's amazing because there have been some super popular episodes in the past. And these past two weeks, we have done, the podcast is done better than it's ever been. And that's really saying something because I also haven't been doing television. I haven't been

doing very much media. I haven't been writing op-eds like I used to. And still, you guys are spreading, sharing, relatable. And I just really appreciate that. I appreciate you guys listening. I appreciate the five-star reviews that you guys give. I appreciate the emails asking me to talk about certain subjects. Some of you guys just email me to check in or message me to check in to see how I'm doing, to see how the baby is doing. And that really means a lot to me. I truly feel like you guys are my friends.

Like we are this little relatable community and we just relate to each other even when we disagree. I know there are people that disagree with me out there that listen. And I get emails a lot where the first line is. So I don't agree with everything you say. But I appreciate that. and you know what, more power to you. I think that's amazing, that we aren't just sticking in our echo chambers, that you guys are listening to me, even if everything I say you don't totally align with, that's okay. For example, I have talked a lot about being reformed in my theology. I know I've got

a lot of Catholics that listen to me. I actually got a review, unfortunately, from someone who is Catholic, who doesn't like some of the things that I have to say. And she said, you know, I'm probably one of the only Catholics that listens to Allie. That is not true. I get a lot of emails from Catholic saying, so I don't agree with you on your reformed theology, but here's where we align and I appreciate your podcast. Well, I appreciate you listening to my podcast and I love you. And I'm thankful that you're here and that we can, on some things, we can simply disagree, even though I would love to have a conversation or dialogue with you about the things that we disagree on, theologically. We can still love each other and we can still respect each other and we can still have conversations and appreciate

the points in which we are united. So anyway, I think that I have the smartest listeners in the world and the best listeners in the world. And I think I love my listeners more than any other host loves theirs. I don't know if I can say that definitively, but I feel that because it's not just the quantity of you guys, it's the quality. Like I just have quality listeners, the emails that I get. I'm like, okay, so it's good for me to remember that so many of you, maybe all of you,

I don't know, are, you're just playing a. it's almost smarter than me. You know more than I do. You think about things that I haven't thought about yet. You ask questions that I haven't asked. And that's not to say I don't get some senseless ignorant trolls, of course. There are definitely times that I do. But I just appreciate you guys in the conversations that we have and the fact that you take time every week to listen to relatable. So thank you for that. I am going to answer some of your questions since I love you guys so much. Okay. So first question, can you follow Christ without a daily longing for his word? So this is an example of a very quality and interesting question that I think is worth asking.

Well, I think that there are definitely days that we wake up and we don't long to be in his word. Gosh, that's true for me. That is definitely true for me. And there are days when unfortunately and sinfully, I neglect to be in his word and I don't pray as much as I should. And I don't go to him for wisdom. And I'm kind of, I find myself in the middle of the day, realizing I've been relying on my own energy and strength and wisdom all day. And maybe that's why I feel a little bit burnt out. Not to say that whenever you pray, you're going to feel this instant rejuvenation of energy. Sometimes that happens. That doesn't necessarily always happen. That doesn't mean that God's not listening or that he's not faithful or that he's not there, that he's not providing for us.

it just kind of, it just kind of depends. But I, yes, so yes, you can follow Christ without a daily longing for his word. Now I do believe that through sanctification and the Holy Spirit does give us a longing to know him better. And the primary way that we know him better is through his inspired and infallible and inerrant word. And so there should definitely be a longing there. But if some days you wake up and you're like, I just want to sleep. for 10 more minutes, but I'm going to get up and I'm going to read God's word anyway. I would say that that discipline that you are enacting, even without the immediate longing to do it, is still the

Holy Spirit working in you. Now, do I think that we can have a right relationship with the Lord without ever reading his word or reading his word consistently? No. I don't. Now, I'm not saying that you have to read a certain number of Bible verses to be saved. We know that we're saved by grace through faith. but if we're talking about fruit, if we're talking about evidence of salvation, I do think that it comes, or it comes part and parcel, or one of those fruits is a longing to and a study of his word. Absolutely. We cannot know God.

What was that, what was that phrase that I always used to say? We cannot know God intimately until we know God accurately. and I completely believe that's true. Of course, it's a process over time that doesn't mean that someone like Kanye West, who apparently has come to the faith, that doesn't mean that when you come to the faith, that you have to know everything about God and all your theology is absolutely correct. As I shared on Wednesday, there were a lot of things I believed when I was becoming a Christian that weren't theoretically true or there were a lot of books that I read that weren't theologically right. And I didn't think anything of them. I just didn't have the discernment at the time

to know that the shack has some blasphemous ideas in it, or that blue-like jazz isn't really a solid theological book. But it was, I don't recommend that for new Christians to read books that aren't theoretically solid, but it was okay. Like, it was okay. I learned over time. I made sure that I was under good teaching, the Bible teacher that I had at the time, the church that I went to at the time, the books that I read later on, it all led and evolved into me listening to really, solid pastors with reformed teaching that really shaped my faith into what it is now. And so it happens over time. The longing, I think, also increases along with your sanctification as you also start

even hating your sin more and longing more and more to be holy. You also long to know God's word. So that's a great question and that's the long, one did answer that I have for that. Another question. Importance of prayer. Why pray when God already has a plan? So that's another great question. This is something that's presented to Calvinists a lot. Calvinists believe in God's sovereignty and that he is totally control over everything that is backed up. Time and again by scripture, I think that I have an episode titled The Sovereignty of God from probably around this time last year.

But I also have talked about predestination and things like that on this podcast. you can go back and listen to it before you send me an email telling me what a heretic I am for being a Calvinist. But a lot of people ask, okay, if God already has a plan, if he's sovereign, then why, why pray? Why ask God for anything? And that's a really good question, but the answer is because he tells us to. So it's kind of the same question of, well, why would a Calvinist evangelize to someone? Why would a Calvinist share the gospel when God has already predestined to people that he is going to

predestined to be saved because he tells us to it is also just as he predestined salvation he predestines the means by which people are saved and he tells us to go and make disciples he tells us to go and share the gospel and evangelize and so because we believe in obedience we do that because we believe in the sufficiency of scripture and that god doesn't tell us anything arbitrarily that is what we do in the same way that he has ordained salvation he ordains the means by which people are very often saved. And he ordains the people that he is going to use to evangelize. So it's the same way with prayer. He tells us to pray without ceasing. And yes, his plan, he is sovereign. And yes, he does have a plan. Yes, he's not suspended by time. And so he's not, his works are not conditional

on our prayers and that he is not sitting there waiting for us to pray before he can do something. He's not like unlocked or unleashed by our prayers, that would be a false teaching that some people unfortunately propagate, but he tells us to pray without ceasing. He tells us to present our request with Thanksgiving to God. And so that is what we are called to do in the same way that he predestined the means of evangelism. He also predestined the means of prayer. And whether it is, I do think that it actually, in some mysterious way that I don't completely know, but that we see throughout the New Testament, prayer actually does something. There is actually power in prayer. There is some kind of reactive relationship with prayer that I can't fully explain or

fully articulate how that works when God is suspended in the eternal now and is it subject to our time frame. I can't really fully explain that, quite frankly, which just shows how fallible I am, but maybe also there are someone with more knowledge, like John Piper could probably answer that better than I could. But it also does something in our own hearts. It also does something to sanctify us. It does something with our own spirit. It also gives us a peace that passes understanding. But I don't think that's the only reason for it, what it does in our heart. I think that it actually has real tangible power, of which I can't fully explain to you because I just don't have the words to do it. Okay. Next question. Are you

gonna have another baby already starting um well yes we we want to it's actually just talking about this um we we want to we don't know the plans for we don't know what that will what that will look like we have also talked about adoption sometime in the future and so we just don't know we are very happy with our four month old baby girl i can't believe that she's four months four months she is awesome and wonderful and we just love her so much. But yes, we do plan on having more kids in the future when that will be. We don't know. We don't know. We had a timeline for her of when we were going to start trying to have kids and it ended up being significantly sooner than what we had in our heads. We prayed about it and here she is. Here she is. And so I don't know. But yes,

one day we do plan to have more like kids or more like kids. Or more like kids. What? I don't know. I was reading my next question and I forgot what I was going to say. Okay. Thoughts on CBD oil. I don't know if I really have any thoughts. I probably need to do more research into it, but I don't think that there is anything. There's nothing wrong with CBD oil, right? Like people aren't getting high off CBD oil, are they? I don't know. I don't think I have any problem with that if it helps people. I mean, it's a natural substance as long as, you know, it's not being misused, I guess, or it's not being used to get high off of. Also, people have asked me about medical marijuana.

I have three, while my grandmother who just died, she suffered from epilepsy for a long time. Both of my brothers have epilepsy. And while they don't use medical marijuana, I just say that to know, to say that there are a lot of people who do have epilepsy who have been helped by medical marijuana. And it's very hard for me to look at that and to say, know they should be denied that strictly for medical purposes. I mean, if you have ever been around people with epilepsy, it is, it's just tragic. It's hard to watch. It is really hard to diagnose the why behind it, the medicines that they put them on very often. Sometimes they help, and that's a wonderful,

big fan of effective medicine, but a lot of times they don't. And so they're just put on more and more medicine until they have, you know, a million different side effects and they don't know which medication it's from and it just doesn't work. So if medical marijuana works for people, especially people with epilepsy or people with chronic pain, far be it for me to say that that is immoral if it's strictly used for medical purposes. And I would really like to hear the argument for anyone who believes that you shouldn't be allowed to have medical marijuana. Okay, how to handle leftist relatives during the holidays. Well, I don't know if the person that's asking this is a Christian, but of course, if they are Christian, then you're, um,

your first duty, your first responsibility, your only responsibility actually, is to be an ambassador for Christ, to be the aroma of Christ and to be a good representative of the gospel of Jesus Christ. And so it is much more important that you represent your faith and represent Jesus than you do to convince them of being a conservative. Now, the question is, when politics comes up, when they start bashing Donald Trump, when they say that a portion is awesome, or. whatever they say. They probably won't say that at the Thanksgiving table. But if they do, you can, there are a few options that you have. You can choose to not say anything because it is, you think that it's better to not ruffle feathers and to not hurt this relationship than it is to bring up your politics. And I think that's a viable option. I don't think that you are being necessarily a scarity cat if you do that. I don't think that that is shameful to not bring it up.

it kind of depends. Now, if someone is spreading outright misinformation, I do think it might be incumbent upon you to say, hey, that's actually not true. Here's what really happened. And you can do it in a very soft, delicate way, kind way if you want to, saying, hey, I hear what you're saying. I totally understand those concerns. But here's another perspective about that, but here's what's actually true, or that was a misleading headline that you read or that photo wasn't actually, you know, during Trump's administration, whatever it is. I think that it's definitely an option for you to be able to bring up another side of it in the most respectful way that you can. Now, here's the thing. Take option one. If you can, if you can,

can't do option two without getting upset. And I don't say that to belittle you or patronize you at all. It is upsetting. It is upsetting to hear people talk about their political views that are totally opposed to yours or that you feel are evil because I do believe a lot of the views on the left are evil. And it can be very upsetting and it can be honestly very emotional to hear someone that you love, talk about that and misrepresent what you believe is the truth. What is the truth? And so if you cannot engage in this conversation in a calm and respectful way, I personally don't think it's worth it for you to get worked up and you to ruin your holidays and to not be able to function basically because you've had such a tense and terrible

and disrespectful conversation with the family member. I don't think that is worth it. However, if you can, if you can in a very calm and rational way, say, you know what, here's the perspective that I have on this. I'm glad to talk to you. I'm glad you here. If you have any questions, let me know, then do it. I think that that's great. Another option is to, and this is the option that I like the most probably when you're talking to someone on the left is to ask them questions. Ask them questions. Try your best not to make them seem like accusatory questions. I know that could be really difficult, but try to ask them why they

believe what they believe, where they got certain information, what they think about, alternative perspective, X, whatever that is, how they drew that conclusion, or have you thought about blank, especially when it comes to something like abortion, if they say, oh, Trump is taking away women's rights? Well, okay, which rights? Oh, well, the right to reproductive freedom. What do you mean by, what, okay, what do you mean by reproductive freedom? the right to abortion. Okay, so tell me your perspective on abortion. Why do you believe that it's such

an important right for women? Well, because bodily autonomy. Well, do you, okay, well, what about the fact that there's another child inside the womb? You don't think that the child should have rights. It's not a child. It's a clump of selves. Well, it's actually not a club of selves. And this is where it gets a little bit accusatory. It's kind of hard to keep your cool. This is where I would start to lose my cold, probably. But try to go as far as you can with just making suggestions and asking questions. That would be my advice. How do I truly know if he's a godly man? I'm a freshman in college. Okay, well, look at his life. What's he doing on the weekends? He getting drunk and hooking up with people? Probably not

godly. I say that it is someone who did a semester of that when I rebelled and walked away from God. So I'm not trying to be judgmental or, you know, I think Christians can judge with righteous judgment. We are called to do that. But I'm not trying to say that I was better than anyone when I was in college. But you're asking, you want to know if this godly man, I'm assuming that you're a godly woman, you don't want someone that's going out and getting drunk and getting high on the weekends. You don't want someone who is getting drunk, period. You just don't, that's not what you're looking for. If you are looking for someone that you want to end up marrying one day or the kind of person that you want to end up marrying one day that is a good leader, you want to see if he's respected

among his friends, is he respected among his peers? That doesn't necessarily mean popular. That doesn't necessarily mean cool. But is he, respected by the people around him because he is a man of integrity, because he is an honest man, because he's not the kind of guy that's going to cheat on a test. He's not the kind of guy that's going to cut corners. He is the kind of person that works hard and is honest and is a good leader and isn't addicted to anything. How does he talk about people? Is he someone who has just a filthy language, that's a good indication. I'm not saying this person isn't saved. They could be early on in their walk with Christ. But if you're looking for someone who is a potential mate for life,

these are the things that you're going to want to look at. Does he go to church? Does he read his Bible? Does he have any knowledge of the Bible? Does he hang out with godly friends? Does he have a mentor? Does he have someone who's discipling him? Maybe not every single one of these things is a deal breaker, but these are just good things to keep in mind as you're looking to someone. to say, okay, is he a godly man? Is there room for grace? Absolutely. You want grace to yourself and you want forgiveness to yourself and you give grace and forgiveness to someone else. But there is nothing wrong. There's nothing wrong. And actually there is everything right with having standards for godliness that are based in God's word, not just your own superficial expectations that are

based in God's word that you look for. That doesn't mean that you're looking for perfection. Does it mean that you are looking for a bunch of superficial traits like has to have green eyes and be a pastor's kid. No, not at all. But to say, okay, I want someone who is trying to be more like Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit, and I can see progress in his life towards that. And I can see a true desire to be more like Christ in his life. And here are some of the fruits that I see. I think that's a really good perspective to have. Okay. Let's see. Any more questions? We might end on this one. Maybe. Okay. White privilege, is it really a thing? Well, certainly at some point, it was a thing. And there

have been arguments made for it, but the white privilege arguments that you hear that, for example, on the covers of magazines, there are mostly white women. If you go to the store and you look at the hair aisle, for example, there will only be a small section of, there will only be a small section of products for for black women. There will be a lot of products for white women, that there is higher representation of white people in the media, et cetera. This is called not white privilege, but majority privilege. This would be the same thing in China. I'm not going to see representation of white people in China or in India. This is majority privilege. And there is such thing as majority privilege. Does that mean there's no racism in the

of course not, of course. There are evil races out there. And we know that racism is a sin. You cannot love God and hate your brother. The Bible says. But as far as systemic white privilege goes, I just am going to have to see the statistics on that. That doesn't mean that certain groups aren't disadvantaged. But the question is, is it really a matter of skin color when it comes to any skin color or is it a matter of socioeconomic status or other factors. White privilege is assuming that everyone who is white has an inherent privilege over everyone who is not. And I would just need to see some data for that. I understand that this is a controversial stance to make, but I would like to see that systemically every white person has a leg up on every person of color

in the country. I just, I don't, I don't believe that to be true. I haven't seen statistics to back that up. Again, racism exists. Of course it does. That doesn't discount that at all. Doesn't discount the evilness of racism. But white privilege in the United States of America as a systemic problem, I'm just not sure that there's enough evidence to say that it exists. Do you believe that there is a biblical way to practice self-love? Well, it depends on what you mean by love, but generally no, generally no. That's, as I've said, I've actually done a lot of podcasts on this. So you can go back and listen to some of the very first podcasts I did. I talk about this. It might have been episode like number eight that I first talked about this. So in, I don't know, the spring of 2018,

what year is it? 2019, spring of 2018, I think is when I first started talking about this. But of course, I've talked about it many times since then. And of course, that's what my book is on as well. I don't, here's what I think. I don't think that self-love should ever be a priority of the Christian, not at all. Now, when people hear that, they say, oh, well, why would you want people to hate themselves? Why do you want people to be insecure? Why do you want people to not like their abilities or talents or bodies or whatever it is? Why do you want people to struggle with self-loathing?

That's, of course, not what I'm saying. But self-loathing and self-hatred is also symptomatic of self-centeredness in the same way that arrogance and self-love is, self-affection is, self-affirmation is. It is still self-sitterness. It's just the other side of self-senderness. And so what I would say is that the antidote to self-deprecation is not self-love, but self-sacrifice and self-lessness. If you feel insecure, if you feel anxious, if you feel down about yourself and you're struggling with self-deprecation and self-loat. These are very real things. But the answer to that is not self-love. It is God's love. It is to see yourself as God sees you.

If you are in Christ, that means you are redeemed. You've got a clean slate. You've got a purpose that is bigger than you. You are part of the kingdom of God. You are a member of heaven. You are a saint and citizen in the house of the Lord. That's amazing. That is your identity now.

You are a new creation. And so it is seeing yourself as God sees you that makes the view of the self right, not loving yourself more. because the world sees loving yourself more as being affectionate towards yourself, being able to look in the mirror and say, I'm so awesome and beautiful and wonderful. And what I'm saying is not that you should look in the mirror and think that you're ugly, but look in the mirror and say that if you are in Christ, you are a child of God. Look in the mirror and to be able to say whoever you are, that I am made in the image of God. And I have a soul. And because of that, God has something to say about me. And because you have a soul, you have an eternal destination. One of two places, heaven or hell. And what changes? changes where you end up is Jesus Christ himself and Jesus Christ alone by grace through faith.

So that is how we should view ourselves. We should start viewing ourselves a lot less. We should be a lot less introspective. We should start viewing. We should stop thinking about ourselves so much, whether it's self-deprecation or self-love. I just don't think that that's a priority that Christians should have. And I'll just bring up again something that that people talk about so much is, well, the Bible says, Jesus has to love your neighbor as yourself. So that means you can't love your neighbor until you love yourself. No, no. Loving yourself is a given. What he meant by love yourself is to not think that you are Beyonce, is to not think that you are pretty and lovely and lovable and awesome and talented. That is not what he meant by love your neighbor as

yourself. Because that would mean that he is requiring you to look at other people that way too. Do you honestly think that Jesus is asking you to look at everyone around and think that you are beautiful and wonderful and talented and perfect. No, he's not. He's saying take care of other people in the same way that you would take care of yourself. You are always going to look out for your best interests. Even the people who commit suicide are looking out for what they believe, unfortunately, to be their best interest at the time. Sadly and tragically, they are still looking to escape pain, which is in their own interest. And so he's saying, look out for the interest of other people, for the provision of other people, help other people in the same way that you help

yourself, you are always going to go towards self-preservation naturally. So in the same way that you look to preserve and to provide for yourself, to help yourself, to comfort yourself, you need to do the same for other people. So that is what love your neighbor as yourself means. I simply don't think that we have a self-love deficit in this country. And so all the people saying, you need to love yourself more. You need to love yourself more. You're giving the wrong solution for the problem, which is simply that people are already, already too selfish and that we actually need Christ and sanctification to be rid of ourselves, to deny ourselves to take up our cross and to follow him. Okay, that's all I have for today. I hope that you guys have a wonderful weekend. I'll see you back here on Monday.

Hey, this is Steve Day. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual, and rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity, and reality itself. On the Steve Day show, we take the news of the day and tested against first principles, faith, truth, and objective reality. We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort. We ask the hard questions

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