Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 234 | Mobsters, Self-Love, & Blaming God

Episode Date: April 6, 2020

I share some insight I drew from our weekend activities of watching "Goodfellas" and old Masters golf tournaments about the dangers of self-love. Then, an important discussion on bad theology floating around on social media regarding the sovereignty of God. Today's Sponsors: ExpressVPN: Get an extra 3 months FREE! https://www.expressvpn.com/allie Hydrant: Meet the fastest way to rehydrate — go to https://www.drinkhydrant.com/ and use promo code ALLIE to save 25% off your first order.

Hey, this is Steve Day. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual, and rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity, and reality itself. On the Steve Day show, we take the news of the day and tested against first principles, faith, truth, and objective reality. We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort.

We ask the hard questions and follow the answers wherever they leave, even when it's unpopular. This is a show for people who want honesty over hype and clarity over chaos. If you're looking for commentary grounded in conviction and unwilling to lie to you about where we are or where we're headed, you can watch this D-Day show right here on Blaze TV or listen wherever you get podcasts. I hope you'll join us. Hey guys, welcome to Relatable. I hope everyone had a great weekend. Today, we are going to do a kind of theology Monday. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to tell you a couple things we did over the weekend. I'm going to draw some pertinent lessons out of that, some things that I want us to think about that do have to do. with everything that's going on, but it's not specifically coronavirus-related, then we are going to end with what I think is a very important discussion on the sovereignty of God because I've seen some bad theology floating around on social media. Some of you might have seen this too, and I want to correct it by going to what the

word of God actually says about God's character rather than all of these misinterpretations and mischaracterizations that we unfortunately see on Instagram, especially in time. of crisis. Wednesday, I'm going to give you a more of a news update. I know so many of us are over coronavirus right now. And the last thing I want to do is to fill your mind with things that you've already heard or things that bog you down. This episode today is so important because it seeks to reorient you if you were in a place of fear, confusion, or anxiety to remind you of what is true and to hopefully give you some food for thought to continue in your thinking and analysis about everything that's going on right now. Wednesday, more of a news update, some of the reactions that

have been happening and how it shapes our culture. Friday, I plan to do a full episode on toxic mommy culture, which you guys have been asking me to do. It is rampant right now on social media. So I plan to do that on Friday. Kind of already have it planned out. But today, like I said, very important episode about the various aspects of this that we can analyze from a biblical perspective and then, of course, rightly looking at the sovereignty of God and how we explain all of that in the midst of a pandemic. Hey, this is Steve Day. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual, and rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity, and reality itself. On the Steve Day show, we take the news of the day and tested against first principles, faith, truth, and objective reality.

We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort. we ask the hard questions and follow the answers wherever they leave, even when it's unpopular. This is a show for people who want honesty over hype and clarity over chaos. If you're looking for commentary grounded in conviction and unwilling to lie to you about where we are or where we're headed, you can watch this T-Day show right here on Blaze TV or listen wherever you get podcasts. I hope you'll join us. Let me go ahead and start this podcast. So this weekend, we didn't do a whole lot.

We did for the first time eat out. So we got takeout, we got tacos, and I was really excited about that. We have not gotten takeout any kind of restaurant, drive-through food, anything like that in over three weeks, which is big for us, because I would say at least once a week. We would order favor or Uber Eats or something like that on the weekends. Like we just like to get tacos or pehitas or something like that. As you can tell, we really like Tex-Mex. And we haven't done it for the past few weeks just because once, we've been trying to save money. You never know what the future holds. We have not wanted to go out

and we haven't wanted to risk there being any kind of, you know, virus on our food or on the packaging. But finally, we were like, you know what, it's been a few weeks. We really don't want to cook. We don't want to clean dishes. Again, so let's order some tacos. So this is, this, this was my thinking when I finally was like, okay, yes, not eating out has been good for the budget. It's been good for the waistline, but tacos are good for the soul. And eventually you just got to break down and do what's good for the soul. So we ate tacos, chips, queso. And by the way, I don't know if you know this, but just to give you guys a heads up friend to friend, this is how apparently, I saw it on a YouTube video, so it has to be true. Apparently how you sanitize everything when you get

takeout is you get your food, you take it out of the packaging, you put it on plates, you throw all of the packaging away, and you either wear gloves or you wash your hands later, and then you put the food in the microwave. I don't know, you microwave it for 30 seconds, a minute, however long, I'm not really sure about that. Maybe you need to look that up, and then you take it out of the microwave and you make sure that you wash your hands, and then you sanitize where any of the packaging was. So that apparently, is what you do to make sure that you don't get the Rona while you were supporting all of your favorite restaurants. So we did that and then we watched Goodfellas and I know some of you out there

like how have you not seen this movie that literally came out 30 years ago this year and is a classic and it's one of those movies that everyone talks about. I don't know. But it was also one of those movies that as I was watching it, I was like, I've seen this before but I don't know when and I don't know why. My husband hadn't seen it before and I wouldn't have watched it by myself. So I'm not sure. My husband, I'm not sure if he would be okay with me telling you this, but he actually was not a fan of the movie. I thought it was good. I really like 80s and 90s movies. Just a little fun fact about Allie. I will watch pretty much any 80s and 90s movie that is somewhat reputable. I like to watch movies that people have talked about and movies that

they consider classics just to basically say that I have seen it. And this was one of those movies. It wasn't my favorite movie ever, but now I can say for sure that I've seen it. And I'm glad that I did because I learned some things in watching it that we are going to talk about that's pertinent to what we're going through today. So some thoughts that I had about Goodfellas. Now, if you haven't seen Goodfellas, this is still going to be pertinent to you. And we're even going to tie it into the Tiger King conversation that we had on Wednesday. If you haven't listened to Tiger King in the In Times episode from last Wednesday, you should go do that. This is kind of building on that conversation a little bit.

So if you've watched Goodfellas, if you've watched the Sopranos, any of these mobster movies, you know that the common characteristic in all of these characters in these movies is ego. Every decision they make is based on their ego. They want to be seen as loyal or industrious or cunning, but ultimately their ego is what is driving them. Their ego overtakes all other qualities that they might be striving for always leads to their demise in some way. every single character and every single mobster movie or TV show. This is true of. And in so doing and letting their ego drive them, they go down this mobster path of corruption that virtually into their life or literally into their life. And all of the people that are left in their wake

are just collateral damage. That's true of Tiger King. I mean, it's like a redneck mob. What's Tiger King and these zookeepers or these wildlife collectors are in, it is like a redneck mom. And they are doing the same thing that Tony Suprana, the people in Goodfellas did. They are letting their ego drive their lives and drive what they do. And in the end is not just corruption, but their own demise. Now, most of us, I'm going to go so far as to say,

all of us are not mobsters. We are not weaving some complicated web of extortion. If I do have a mobster listening to this podcast, you're not in my target demographic, but I'm really glad that you're here. But many of us are in our own seemingly innocuous ways, inflaming our own egos at the expense of our own good and the good of those around us. And that's what I was thinking when I was watching Goodfell is just how ego is constantly looking to be seeing, constantly defensive, constantly be,

it's constantly looking for attention and to get that next thing. that makes it feel better, that makes it get bigger, whatever it is. And all of us are the exact same way, even if we are not mobsters. We are told by these self-love promoting influencers and authors that we should be building up our ego in the same way that every person who has been driven by ego to commit a crime has. Now, the end results typically aren't the same, but they are in another sense just as devastating. So Glennon Doyle has an entire book about women becoming full of themselves. People ask me what I think about Brene Brown all the time.

I think Brene Brown has the same message as Glenn and Doyle and Rachel Hollis and all of these self-loved people that sounds inspiring, but is focused on the elevation of the ego, the elevation of the self. And it's cloaked in humility. It's cloaked in innocence, but it is much the same message that you hear from crude rap songs and crude mops. or movies that life is all about you and you need to do what builds you up and makes you happy. These self-love influencers wrongly try to convince us that the higher we think of ourselves, the higher self-esteem we have, the less problems, the fewer problems that we'll have, that if we place ourselves in the center of our own universe and think of ourselves more highly, we'll have the confidence to build the lives of our dreams, heal from our past traumas,

and we will finally be at peace and be satisfied. think about Tiger King, the redneck mobster. I mean, he literally, one, he called himself the Tiger King and he had that throne. If you've seen the documentary, he had that throne that he sat on because he wanted so badly to be the ruler of his universe and to be the sinner of his own life. Well, we laugh at that and we say, okay, obviously that didn't end up well for Joe Exotic, but we are being fed the same message to call ourselves queens, to call ourselves the ruler of our universe, to have people around us and ourselves bow down to us to put our needs and wants in front of other people. We are told that if we do these things, if we boost our ego, if we are full of ourselves,

if we put ourselves first, then we will be happy. But if that were true, if that were true, the secular world would be a lot happier, would be a lot more at peace than they actually are. The fact is, is that Christless messages, no matter how inspiring they may, may sound are always ultimately empty and are going to lead us into a cycle of more confusion and more hurt. They may pump us up for a little while. They may help us chase our goals. Like we might lose the way. We might organize our closet. We might do the things that we set out to do with the help of these self-love and self-help authors. But they ultimately lead to our demise because they can't satisfy and they can't save. We see very extreme demonstrations.

of that in these mobster movies and ridiculous documentaries like Tiger King, putting yourself first, being full of yourself, doing what you want to do. Obviously, it helped them for a little while and it led to our demise, but it has the same trajectory and the same pattern in our own lives, even if the end results aren't exactly the same. It ultimately builds a life that hurts us and hurts those that we love. And one thing that we're seeing in this pandemic is the absolute absurdity of the self-reacted, of the self-love culture in times of crisis. Because guess what? We don't have time right now

to figure out how to love ourselves before we love other people. Like most of us don't have time for nonstop self-care right now or even a little bit of self-care right now, whatever that looks like. Most of us don't have the luxury of just doing what makes us happy. We can't put ourselves first right now. And if we did, other people would suffer. We are not the center of our universe. We are very small right now so we see the absolute vitality of putting the needs of other people before ourselves i mean think about who are our heroes right now in this crisis the people putting themselves first or the people putting themselves last the people who for example hoard supplies to try to make a buck off them or the people who are selflessly giving their time giving their money and risking their

health their health and lives to save and help others who do we admire right now the grocery store clerks, the nurses, the homeschool parents all selflessly serving those who need it, or the people who are just focused on self-love and doing what makes them happy and self-care, the people going outside because they don't care how it affects other people. All of a sudden, in a pandemic, selfishness is condemned. Before we were talking about how great it was for people to just do what they want to do and to have good vibes. Now all of a sudden we're expecting people to sacrifice. maybe we should have backed up and been encouraging self-sacrifice and consideration of other people a long time ago rather than telling people to place themselves at the center of their universe.

So one, again, another silver lining that we're seeing in this pandemic is that people are reminded of the importance of selflessness and not putting yourself first and considering the needs and the wants of other people even before yourselves. These messages that we heard before this for a long time and very pervasively, hey just focus on you right now cut all the toxic people out of your life all the people that are burdensome just do what makes you happy all of those right now sound really tone deaf don't they like they sound really vapid that's because they are not just now but all the time because there are messages that do not deliver on their promise any life philosophy that is about inflating your ego serving yourself will always fail you maybe and hopefully not as drastically as it failed Tony Soprano or Joe Exotic, but it will fail you. It will end friendships. It will hurt your marriage.

That is why God gives us an opposite directive. Don't put yourself first, he says, put me first, he says, put others before yourself. Count others as more significant than yourself, Philippians 2 says. Don't be so concerned with what you want and need. I will take care of you, God promises us. You care for those that I've placed in your life who need it. Don't inflate your ego. Defeat your ego. Defeat your don't worry about loving yourself more. You already have an innate drive to take care of yourself and meet your needs. Focus on loving me, God says, and loving those around you. Don't make much of yourself.

Forget yourself. What the world needs right now, contrary to what Glennon Doyle's new book says, is not women who are full of themselves, but women and men who forget themselves, who are on the front line of this pandemic, characterized not by self-love and self-esteem, but self-forgitfulness. Christians are called to self-forgitfulness, not self-obsession, not self-fulfillment, not self-deprecation or self-loathing, but self-forgitfulness.

There are two quotes that are, that I've just put together to read together from C.S. Lewis's mere Christianity that I think work well with what we're saying. According to Christian teachers, the essential vice, the utmost evil is pride. Unchastity, anger, greed, drunkenness, and all that are mere flea bites in comparison. It was through pride that the devil became the devil. Pride leads to every other vice. It is the complete anti-God's state of mind. The Christians are right. It is pride which has been the chief cause of misery in every nation and every family since the world began. And man, that is so true in all of our lives. Like, think about every fight that you've gotten in. Think about all the

times that your feelings have been unnecessarily hurt. Think about all of the harsh words that you have said that later you regret. Think about all of the conflicts that you see going around, not just in your life and in your community, but on a greater scale. So much of them have their foundations and pride. And yet, we are hearing from a large community of people online. in books that pride is actually a virtue rather than a vice. But I'm telling you, just as it did for Joe Exotic and all the characters and Goodfellas, it doesn't lead to a satisfying life. And one thing, like I said, that this pandemic is revealing to us is just how empty these

messages attempting to inflate the ego are, how shallow and misleading they are, how unsatisfying and unadmirable they are. All of that came from me telling you what we did this. weekend watching good fellas. But another thing we did, since my husband is so sad not to have sports to watch right now, we watched the Masters, the Masters golf tournaments. We both like golf. He likes golf more than I do, but I do enjoy watching golf. I really watch and enjoy any sport, but I actually understand golf more than I do football, for example. So I enjoy watching golf. We watched the Masters tournaments from 2010 and 2004. He's a big film.

Nicholson fan on Saturday. So that's super exciting. But one thing that I was thinking about, so just drawing some more lessons out of our very non-eventful weekend for us. One thing that I was thinking about as we were watching is that it's funny to watch something like that at that, that moment was so important to the people who were involved, so anxiety-inducing, not knowing who is going to win what the next shot is going to look like the players and audience anticipating every move in us sitting there, knowing exactly what's about to happen. My husband even remembering some of the shots that were hit. And of course, this is true of every replay you watch,

every book you reread, every piece of history that you study. The participants and the characters or players are in the moment. You're outside of it. And even though you might feel their excitement, you're not worried about the outcome because you know what's going to happen. And as we were watching these tournaments, I was reminded that everything we currently feel and fear and worry about right now will pass. We will one day be looking back on it like we were watching the 2010 Masters.

We will someday and get on the other side of this and say, I had no idea what was going on. But looking back from the outside, I can see that it worked out. Maybe not how we wanted it to. Maybe not as easily or as quickly as we would have liked. But this will end. This is just a season. I know it feels indefinite. And honestly, I don't know how long it's going to last.

We keep getting conflicting reports. I don't know what this quarantine is going to look like or what the results going to be or what troubles we have ahead, but it's not going to last forever. The phrase that you have heard people say a dozen times a week, it seems like, on the news and on social media, this two shall pass is true. It is absolutely true. It will. But we as Christians don't just take comfort in the fact that time is passing, that one day we will look back on this and be able to read the shots and know who's going to win.

to go along with our analogy, we're not just going to be able to say, yeah, that time passed and we got out of that season. We can take comfort not just in thinking about the future, but in knowing that right now, as I've reminded us so many times, that God is actively working, he is actively doing, he's actively using, actively bringing himself glory

and bringing all things together for our good, as Romans 828 says, that he is doing something even when we can't see it, when we're not sure, even when it feels as if things are falling apart around us, we know that he is holding things together. And just like we weren't anxious when we were watching the masters, God is not anxious watching this unfold because he is outside of it. He knows what's going to happen. And even more than that, he is in control of all of it. And I want to get into a note on how people are avoiding that fact, that people are avoiding God's control, and they are spinning it into a theological

misconception that has a lot of dangerous implications. So right now, as we've talked about, it's a time that is ripe for conspiracy theories and false prophecies, neither of which glorify the Lord, but they're also an opportunity, these crazy chaotic times for bad theology in general. I have seen a refrain that I see almost every time terror strikes or we get into some kind of bad situation. And it is, don't blame God for this. This is not God's fault. I saw a meme that was created, I assume, by an atheist, that it was funny from their perspective. I mean, I kind of laughed even though it's terribly blasphemous, but it was a picture of Jesus looking at the earth and it said,

here's some coronavirus. I love you so much, L.O.L. Obviously making fun of the idea that, you know, we serve a good God. Why would a good God send coronavirus? And there were a lot of well-meaning Christians in the comments saying, no, this isn't God's fault. This is not his will. And my reaction to that is, how is it that atheists understand God's character better than professing Christians? God does not need you to let him off the hook. God doesn't need to be excused or justified or covered for or explained. He doesn't need to be made simpler for the unbeliever. He doesn't need to be more accommodating to the atheist. He doesn't need to be made softer for the agnostic. He is sovereign. He is in control. If not even a sparrow falls

out of the sky without his permission, which is what the Bible says, then you can bet a pandemic doesn't escape his will either. There are things that God actively causes and then there are things that God permits but there is nothing that God does not have the power to stop. What is far more terrifying to me than a God who is in complete control is a God who is not. I would rather have a completely sovereign God who I don't understand that a limited weak God who fits nicely inside my own mental box. I don't want to worship a powerless God. I don't want to bow down to a God who's limited by my own comprehension or who follows my self-contrived dictates of what's good and what's bad. I want to worship the God of Isaiah 55, whose ways are not my

ways, whose thoughts are not my thoughts. Let's read that. Isaiah 55, 8 through 10, for my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways, my ways declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return and do not return there but water the earth making it bring forth and sprout giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth it shall not return to me empty but it shall accomplish that which i purpose and shall succeed in the thing for which i sent it this is true of all god does and all god allows jeremiah 3217 says ah lord god it is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your

great power and by your outstretched arm, nothing is too hard for you. Job 42, too, one of my favorite verses, I know that you can do all things and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. So we don't know whether God purposely sent this virus to call us to repentance, to display judgment, to show mercy to those he wanted to take out of the world, or whether he simply has allowed this virus to occur. but either way, it didn't just slip through the cracks. God didn't sit back and say, oh, I can't believe I allowed this to happen.

I've said this a million times and I'll probably say it a million more. God is not surprised. His power is not restrained. Our roles and our responsibilities might be suspended, but his aren't. We are quarantined, but God is not. We are contained, but God is not. He is not wondering if we are going to figure this out. He is not thrown off.

he's not taking it back and it doesn't matter whether or not a non-believer thinks God is a meaning for coronavirus. We know the truth. That beyond our finite, weak understanding God is good, he is faithful, he is loving, he is compassionate, and he is totally and completely sovereign. I've said this many times to explain God's sovereignty, but it is, it's important to, I think, understand the quandary that unbelievers think that we are in and that they are in. We have a hard time, all of us as humans, but especially non-believers, not starting from the premise of the Word of God being an heir and God being true, have a hard time understanding how God

can be these three things at the same time. So good, powerful, and seeing. How can God be totally good, completely capable, and wholly aware of everything that's going on? The non-believers contention is that God can only be two of these things. And the logic of that goes like this. If God is all good and all powerful, then he must not see all the bad that's going on or else he do something about it. If God does see everything that goes on and he is good, he must not be all powerful. He must not be able to stop it or else he would do something about the bad stuff. He would stop the bad stuff from happening. Or if God is all powerful and he does see everything, then he must not be good. Because if he were, he would stop these bad things from happening.

So this is the quandary that non-believers pose, and unfortunately professing Christians try to wiggle their way out of by diminishing one of these three attributes by saying it's not God's fault, which is diminishing the attribute of power. They are well-meaning Christians trying to square this circle, trying to fix this quandary by saying, okay, yes, God is good, God is all-knowing, but he's not resuming.

responsible for the bad things that happen. Satan is the typical answer. But this is bad theology. Even atheists understand that this is bad theology. Satan does have power, but never outside of God's permission. We read that in Job. So we as Christians, we start with the premise that God is who he says he is, which is good, powerful, and all-knowing. And through that filter, we see all that happens, all that we don't understand, will ultimately be for his glory and the good of those who love him, which is what the Bible says. Like he told Habakkuk, he is doing something that we would not believe if he told us. It is not our job to let God off the hook or to make him more chewable for atheists. Let the word of God stand. Let God's character stand. Don't downplay God. Don't water him down. Don't

apologize for him. He is enough. He's the only being in the entire universe. who can actually claim that. He is exactly who he says he is and no less. And he is exactly what he says we need and no less than that. And either you introduce people to this God in all his complexity and all his sovereignty, or you introduce them to a figment of your imagination, a weak wizard with limited power. I don't want to worship a weak wizard with limited power, do you? Because a God that is limited by our understanding of what he,

he should and shouldn't do isn't a god that can save the real biblical triune god can and will save and the great news is is that he won't allow evil to go unpunished just because evil happens under god's sovereign watch does not mean that he is ignoring it that he likes it that it pleases him it might be all under his grand sovereign will but it is not a part of his moral will he does not desire it and he will still punish it. Just because he allows and sometimes even causes pain doesn't mean that he does not care about it. On the contrary, God is a God of vengeance and he will pay back evil what it is due. He will defeat the wicked forever. No act, no word of evil escapes his attention or his judgment. As Psalm 37 12 through 15, I love Psalm 37. I highly encourage you to read it

if you need comfort and reminder of who God is and what he will do. Psalm 3712 through 15 says this, the wicked plots against the righteous and gnashes his teeth at him, but the Lord laughs at the wicked, for he sees that his day is coming. The wicked draw the sword and bend their bows to bring down the poor and needy, to slay those whose way is upright. Their sword shall enter their own heart,

and their bows shall be broken. Romans 1219 says, beloved never avenge yourselves but leave it to the wrath of god for it is written vengeance is mine i will repay says the lord so no evil will go unpaid for god promises us that and about our pain and all of the pain that christians are enduring in scripture says this the lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit psalm 34 18 and even beyond that One day, all sadness will be completely eradicated. Revolution of Revolution. Revelation 21 says,

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes and death shall be no more. Neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore for the former things have passed away. Yes, we have a sovereign God. We also have a redemptive God who is powerful enough right now to be in control of everything that's going on. that means he is powerful enough to save to the uttermost and to save ultimately. That is why we don't have to let God off the hook because God in all of his complexity and all of his character that we do not understand doesn't need to be diminished. It's unnecessary.

And this is why theology matters. This is why reading God's word matters because it affects not just our mentality in a crisis, but our mentality also affects what we do. God doesn't want us to be afraid. He doesn't want us to be anxious. He doesn't want us to think that he is not in control. He is in control now and forever, and we can trust in that.

Okay, that's my episode for today. I will be back here on Wednesday, and I will see you guys then. Hey, this is Steve Deast. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual,

and rooted in what we believe is true about God, and reality itself. On the Steve Day show, we take the news of the day and tested against first principles, faith, truth, and objective reality. We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort. We ask the hard questions and follow the answers wherever they leave, even when it's unpopular. This is a show for people who want honesty over hype and clarity over chaos. If you're looking for commentary grounded in conviction and unwilling to lie to you about where we are or where we're headed, you can watch this Steve Day show right here on Blaze TV or listen wherever you get

podcasts. I hope you'll join us.