Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 268 | How Christians Can Navigate the Growing LGBTQ & Fatherless Culture | Guest: Jim Daly

Episode Date: June 29, 2020

Allie is joined by Jim Daly of Focus on the Family in a discussion of how Christians should be responding to the Supreme Court's recent workplace decision and the LGBTQ climate growing in our culture. Jim also speaks about the dramatic effects absent fatherhood has on families — especially the children. Today's Link: https://alliebethstuckey.com/book Today's Sponsor: SimpliSafe was designed to be easy to use while protecting your whole home 24/7. Get free shipping and a 60 day money back guarantee. Visit SimpliSafe.com/ALLIE

Hey, this is Steve Day. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual, and rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity, and reality itself. On the Steve Day show, we take the news of the day and tested against first principles, faith, truth, and objective reality. We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort.

We ask the hard questions and follow the answers wherever they leave, even when it's unpopular. This is a show for people who want honesty over hype and clarity over chaos. If you're looking for commentary grounded in conviction and unwilling to lie to you about where we are or where we're headed, you can watch this D-Day show right here on Blaze TV or listen wherever you get podcasts. I hope you'll join us. Hey, guys, welcome to Relatable. Happy Monday. So I'm so excited about this conversation that I'm having today with Jim Daly, a focus on the family. We are indeed going to talk about the family.

We are going to talk about the recent Supreme Court ruling. and what we can do in the midst of this, especially as parents looking to equip our children and to love our neighbor well in what feels like, you know, a time of uncertainty and chaos in a lot of ways. And then we're also going to talk about fatherlessness and why that's a problem, what it means. And again, how we as Christians can kind of run into that problem and a lot of the problems that are surrounding us with the love of Christ. Before we get into that, I do want to tell you guys. So my book, You're Not Enough and that's okay, escaping the toxic culture of self-love. My husband and I even have like a little song that we sing with the title, but I'm not going to sing that for you today. It's just not quite prepared for you.

I haven't warmed up my voice and I don't think that you want to hear that. But that is the title of my book. It comes out August 11th. And if you want to pre-ordered the book, I would greatly appreciate that. All you have to do is go to my brand new. website, Alliebethstucky.com slash book. And you can pre-order it right there if you pre-order it. And you send your proof of purchase. So your receipt from Amazon, for example, to Allieb Stucky at penguin randomhouse.com, you will be sent a free digital excerpt ASAP so before the book actually

comes out. And so I would love for you guys to order the book. This has been a labor of love for about two years now. This has been two years in the making, and I could just not be more excited about you guys having it in your hand. So August 11th is when it comes out, go to Alliebeth's Duckie.com, pre-order my book. You get that excerpt. And one more thing about that is that also on the Women's Book Club with Allie's Ducky on Facebook, we will be doing a study guide that is exclusive to the women who are in that Facebook group. So when the book comes out, when everyone gets the book. Make sure you pre-order it so you can have the book when we actually start the book discussion. We are going to have a series of book discussions with me. I'll be doing Facebook lives and

videos and things like that. And I will have this discussion guide, which only you guys will get, who are part of this women's book club with Ali Stucky. So make sure you go ahead and join the book club now. We're reading 1984. You can just jump right on in or you can just wait until we start my book. You're not enough in that. okay escaping the toxic culture of self-love. So just wanted to make sure that you guys knew that, and make sure that you knew how excited I am and how ready I am for you guys to finally read it. Okay, without further ado, here is Jim Daly. Jim, thank you so much for joining me. It's great to be with you. Yes, if you could tell everyone who doesn't know who you are and what you do.

Well, that's a big question. My name's Jim Daly, and I work at Focus on the Family, which is basically a Christian-based marriage organization and we have, you know, great reach broadcast that's been airing for a number of years, about 7 million listenership on that. And then globally, we have 13 offices around the world and probably about, I think, the estimates of just over 100 million listeners in that environment. Well, I grew up listening to Focus on the Family when I was young. My mom loved focus on the family. So you were forced to listen. Yeah, well, I was just talking to her about that this morning. She was saying that when I was, you know, a child in the 90s that it was mostly just talk radio. And so, of course,

when you're five years old, you're like, oh my gosh, these people, I don't even know what they're talking about. But of course, I'm so thankful. And she got a lot of encouragement from it, and I'm sure I did too, whether I knew it or not. Can you talk to us first about the recent Supreme Court decision regarding so-called, you know, discrimination against LGBTQ people in the workplace. Just tell us kind of your thoughts on that decision and the implications of that for people who care about religious liberty, particularly Christians. Well, I think it's a difficult situation. I have, you know, a number of good connections in the LGBTQ activist community. And we talk, you know, almost every week about things that are going on. And I've seen that as part of my mission to reach out

and develop these friendships because dialogue behind the scenes is really critical. And relationship is a powerful driver to move things. And I think the difficulty at the high view here is the problem of somebody's rights have got to give way. And it's unfortunate, but it's just what I call the Gordian knot. It's the mythical knot that can't be undone. And, you know, if somebody's religious freedoms, religious rights are being exercised, that means others like the LGBTQ community in hiring practices and other things are giving way. And the same is true vice versa. So I don't know, you know, when you look at these court decisions, I think from the Christian perspective, if you're a traditional conservative Christian, you're reading the scripture for what it says,

that Jesus himself saying, a man shall leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. It's pretty straightforward what the Bible means in terms of the nuclear family. And it's just out of vote with some people in our culture right now. And I think we're going to continue to flip through this era and try. try to define things. And again, I'm not hopeless. I trust in God. His hand is on this. Things do not surprise him. And I'm trusting that God knows exactly what's happening here. I think one of the best things that could be the byproduct of this is that Christian convictions will become solid, more solid than they are right now. So the church is going to have to really understand

what it is that it believes and then live it. And that's the best thing that we can do as Christians. and do it in grace and kindness, right? Right. I agree with that. And I think it's also just important for me to reiterate, even though we've talked about this on this podcast, is that a lot of people had a problem with this decision, not because they necessarily think whether they're Christian or not, that they want to discriminate against people in the LGBTQ arena,

but is it the job of the Supreme Court to so-called, you know, legislate from the bench? Shouldn't this go through Congress? And so I think it's important. also for us to make that distinction in the conversations that we have about these very understandably contentious and kind of emotionally charged issues, that distinction gets lost. It's just okay, you're either for discrimination and you hate these people or you're against discrimination and you love them. But there's a little bit, you know, it's a little bit more complex and

nuanced in the middle, wouldn't you say? Absolutely. And I think Alito's dissent said that squarely. I think the opening first sentence, he basically says it's wrapped up in one word, legislation, and that's not the role of the judicial branch. And that's one of the great difficulties. I actually had a meeting. I won't name that recently retired justice, but I was in a meeting with him, just one-on-one. And we were talking about how rights are derived, et cetera. And he said, Jim, the problem is the Congress is too chicken to act. And our role is to decide up or down if a law is constitutional. but all these cases are bubbling up and we need to make a decision. Now, I understand the logic of that, but it still takes the judicial branch outside of their lane, like you have well said.

It's not their role to legislate, even if they have bubbling cases. They've got to leave that to the Congress, to the legislative branch. That's their role. And if the Congress is incapable of getting something passed, they should simply sit. And that's a benefit to society to continue the dialogue, the discussion, the battle over what should be law in this country. It should not be the bench's role to make those decisions like that. And that's the problem. And probably that is the heaviness of heart that I have is that our democracy is breaking down.

And that's what people maybe don't understand. We're not acting in the role that each three parts of government have been given. And I think that when that breaks down, we have no recourse. What do we do? Right. I think a lot of Christians, they hear that and they feel hopeless and helpless. Like, they already vote. So maybe they've got the representative that they want an office or maybe not either way. They voted and supported their candidate. And maybe they're even involved in the local level and they try to stay abreast of everything that's going on. And yet things like this are still happening. we obviously don't elect these justices and judges.

And so what should Christians do in the midst of the breakdown of the democracy? I mean, what can we say? How can we petition the government? Do we protest? I mean, what does that look like? Those are all great questions. The one thing, you know, and I'll say this as a kid, troubled childhood. You know, I grew up as an orphan kid.

The one thing I recognize in my relationship, with Christ is I don't perceive or believe that God is a God of apathy. I just don't see that anywhere in Scripture. He doesn't say, well, kick back and, you know, just relax. He's always calling us to the fruit of the spirit, love, joy, grace, peace, goodness, kindness, mercy. Those aren't good alley fight weapons. But those are the weapons that God gives us. So we have to act in that way. To keep the character of Christ as believing Christians is, to me, most important. And then we've got to trust that the Lord has the outcome. So I would stay engaged and continue to fight, certainly express our concern about things like the Supreme Court going outside of their lane. This country was set up

with very specific, three branches of government, et cetera. We should be engaged. We should be calling our representatives, et cetera. We should let our voice be known, talk to our neighbors, those kinds of things. And there does seem to be a bit of fatigue that nothing is going our direction. So why don't we just give up. And I would just say, don't be. don't have an attitude of giving up. I don't think God honors that we want to be engaged. We want to win people over to what it is we believe. Let me give you an example of that. I think the other day Planned Parenthood came out with a slogan. And I've been talking to some of my friends that aren't believers in Jesus and just raising this as a question, which again was a great tactic that

Jesus used. But Planned Parenthood came out the other day saying, you know, for the sake of Black lives matters, we need to support Biden for president. Right. And I thought, and they said it's a matter, this election is a matter of life and death. Yeah, I saw that. They literally don't see the contradiction of that statement. It's breathtaking. And, you know, we did that event in New York last year where we held a rally with about

20,000 people in Times Square. And we, you know, we kind of did a little pun with Saturday night live, live from New York. And we had our first three speakers were African-American, Alveda King and Christina Bennett and Benjamin Watson, the NFL player. And Benjamin, I think, said, hey, more babies were killed by Planned Parenthood in New York City last year than were born. I mean, the greatest, the greatest taker of black life is Planned Parenthood. Right. And it just is breathtaking that the culture can't see that. And so we have to gently raise that question and raise that awareness and raise that truth while we,

stand firm in our convictions. And I think also that the national news and media kind of, it weighs us down so much to where we feel like we are paralyzed by fear and hopelessness. But in reality, if we kind of take our eyes a little bit off of, you know, what the national media is telling us most important, and look right in front of us and see that the obedience that God is calling us to is not always necessarily. Sometimes it is, it might be, but it's not always necessarily to start a movement or to have a million followers on Instagram or to have a big platform. But the persistent and the seemingly menial obedience of day-to-day Christians makes the difference that God calls us to make. I mean, we are finite

human beings and I think our ability to be able to see all things and all problems at all times makes us feel like we're not, but we're finite. And we were placed on a tiny spot of eternity. and God has called us to be obedient in that. And that's what I try to remember Christians to do. Be obedient in the things that are, you know, right before us. Like we can change diapers to the glory of God. We can invite people to church to the glory of God. Like we can serve in the nursery to the glory of God.

All of these things God sees as major victories for his kingdom. It doesn't always look like a crusade. It might, but it doesn't always. Do you agree with that? I totally agree with that. And that you see that is replete in scripture. That's kind of it. I remember I was just sitting in my comfy chair one morning doing devotions, just myself.

And what caught me is Peter in the garden and Stephen being stone, the contrast of those two men. And to Peter's defense, he had not yet been filled with the Holy Spirit. Christ had not been raised up on the cross, resurrection, and the Holy Spirit available for all who believe. So I give that defense of Peter. But man, what guy? and probably some women today wouldn't strap on to defend the Son of God in the garden. I mean, what an honor that would be to go after the guy that's about to arrest the son of God. You've been walking with them.

But Jesus really rebuked Peter in that moment, said, you live by the sword, you die by the sword. That is not my way. That's the way of the world, in essence. And then you see the illustration of Stephen, who, while he's being stoned to death by those who hated him, he had the presence of mine to pray for them and ask God not to hold him. this against them. I think a human being can only do that with the spirit of God in their heart. And Peter, I fight that battle every day. I identify as Peter in the garden. I want to fight. And I think I've got to every day put my flesh down and say, Lord, help me to be more like Stephen.

And it's hard because it rises up in you when unjustness or injustice is being done from a Christian perspective. But we are called to live like Stephen. Right. And it's hard. I had a lunch with David Horowitz, the former communist. He's written a book about how Christianity is being stomped out by the left. I can't remember the exact title. He's not a Christian himself. And we're at lunch. And he said, Jim, don't you realize you're in an alley fight and the other side has switchblades? I said, David, man, I get it. But we don't come to the alley fight with switch blades. We come with the fruit of the spirit. Love, joy, peace, goodness. And he went, man, those aren't good weapons.

But it worked. That's what the church did in the early centuries. People died for their faith. It spurred the faith on. More people became Christians. Think of the oddity of that while people were being martyred and crucified. More became believers. That seems exactly opposite of what would happen. But we've got to trust that God's in control fundamentally, regardless of our circumstances, and stay true and do what you said. Just in your neighborhood, be engaged. do those good deeds. So they'll honor your father in heaven. That's right out of scripture. When we pull back and all we do is shout and say words, it really does not make a difference. We must do the good deeds so they'll know who God is because of those good deeds. And using your example of Stephen, when we talk about not fighting in the same way that the other side fights, that doesn't mean laying down.

That doesn't mean being cowardly and not. sharing the truth and being bold. I mean, that's what Stephen did up until his death. That's why they killed him. Exactly. Him praying for his enemies wasn't, you know, an act of coward, cowardice or acquiescence. And so I just want, you know, the audience to be able to make that distinction is that we are still called to carry the truth even when stones are being thrown at us. That is our so-called fight. And so when we say to kind of lay down our swords, we are just talking about, or at least I'm just talking about, not fighting with the same kind of ferocity and the same kind of vengeance that we are seeing from the secular world towards us.

Well, that is really well said, and I'm glad you gave that caveat, because I do mean that. You have to stand firm in truth and principle, but you have to do it in the fruit of the spirit because I think once you capitulate that, you're just fighting like the world would fight, and you've lost your distinction in Christ. So it's true. I mean, we've got to calmly say, we do believe. marriages between a man and a woman. We understand that you're going to disagree because of all kind of factors today, but this is what God has called us to do and to live out and to defend.

And we think it is the best way. And even if the culture disagrees with me, and frankly, right now, a lot of people who, you know, are Christians, are struggling with that definition as well because of the cultural onslaught today. I remember last year, you know, we did bring your Bible to school. and Drew Brees called us basically and said, can I give you a video that you can use? Yeah, we didn't solicit it. And he did a 30, 40 second video for us saying, hey, kids, you know, here's my favorite scripture. And it's great that you can take the Bible to school. And then LGBTQ activist groups just hammered him. Don't you know you're working with the hate group? And I always ask people, give me, give me evidence of us being a hate group. We do defend traditional marriage, but we don't hate anybody. And I've got friends in that community that will come to my defense.

fence. And I think one of the things, too, is that we tend to caricature each side. And one of the things when I started reaching out to the LGBT community is they thought of every Christian being like the Westboro Baptist attitude. They thought of that as monolithic. If you're Christian, that's your attitude. I said, I don't know anybody in the Christian community like them, but them. And I don't even believe they're Christian, actually, in their attitude, certainly. And you know, that's between them and God. But the way they expressed the faith is not what I see in Scripture. They were, their jaws were dropped open.

You know, they were like, seriously? I said, yeah. But we have the same attitude, the other direction. There are some within the LGBTQ community that believe in religious liberty. It's not a, you know, it's not a big number, but they're there. And we've got to not think of them in a monolithic way as well. You're absolutely right. Just to get down to the nitty-gritty for one second.

I know that there are a lot of Christians out there who are thinking. thinking, okay, but what do I do in the specific situations to where, for example, you know, my daughter is, you know, she's playing soccer and she's on an all-girls soccer team, but then they establish the school or the team establishes a rule that says, okay, well, now we can't discriminate if, you know, a boy who identifies as a girl wants to play on our team or play against our daughter, then that has to happen or, you know, the locker room, bathroom situations that I know a lot of parents of young kids are thinking about, but they don't want to say anything because they don't want to lose their jobs. They don't want their child to be

bullied. So in those kinds of situations, how can Christians be obedient while also, you know, showing the fruit of the spirit like you're talking about? Yeah. I think equipping your children through dialogue and nurturing that dialogue, you know, talk to them about how to approach those things, do you feel uncomfortable about this? If not, that's a whole set of discussions and questions you can ask. But if they do feel uncomfortable, are you willing to sit down with the coach and talk about that? How far would you go to expressing your belief? You know, it's interesting. It's an excellent question because it goes to the very training of our children for when they become adults, particularly how they can live their lives in a way that exemplifies their faith in Christ. And I

think right now the parenting responsibilities are so beyond just helping them to be a good student, to get into college, to have generally good moral character. That's now kind of basic and fundamental. Now they've got to be equipped with communication skills, debating skills, that they can tear down an argument in a peaceful way with a friend that is coming at them from a different viewpoint. And that takes real skill in parenting. You've got to. exhibit that yourself. You've got to be able to model that for your children. I can remember watching Hillary Clinton at the DNC convention, and I was sitting with my then 14-year-old, who's now 17, Troy, and we're watching the convention because it's good. It's good to sit there.

He had an interest in it, so we watched it. And there was a connection point where he was observing the convention, and Hillary Clinton said, we need to defend a woman's right to choose. And the whole place erupted and standing ovation. I think very quickly, if not just the next statement, she talked about the need to support police departments and brave first responders. Nobody responded. It was like dead in the convention hall. My 14-year-old looked at me and said, isn't that odd? They applaud death, but they don't applaud the people who protect us. And I went, bang, he's got it. It just came out. It wasn't orchestrated. And we talked about that. and, you know, his exhibiting a Christian worldview, that's what we're about.

And we've got to be able to equip our kids to articulate that, to believe it deeply, fight for it, and do that again in the right nature, the right attitude toward those who don't believe the way we do. Yeah. And I couldn't agree. I couldn't agree more. I do think for some parents, you know, when their kids are young and they are put in a situation to where, you know, there might be some kind of policy that allows for mixed

gender in bathrooms and locker rooms and sports teams and things like that. A lot of parents probably aren't going to sit down and ask their daughter if they're comfortable with that, but rather say, you know, it's my job to protect my daughter from this. And I do think that there is a way for parents to, without, like you said, judging an entire side or judging them as a monolith or being hateful, but to speak the truth in love, not just to their children, but to other parents and to administrators, there is a way to voice our concern while still being loving and patient and kind and gentle, understanding that if you voice those concerns, there will be still, there still are going to be people who call you a bigot and call you hateful.

But your example of Stephen is so right. You have to be able to speak the truth and your charge is to protect your children. And I think there's a way to do that with gentleness and love, don't you think? Absolutely, and I love the idea of age-appropriate discussion around protection. I mean, that's core to any parent. And I think having those discussions with your daughter, with your son, when you go into the bathroom as a seven, eight-year-old, you know, just be mindful of the people in that bathroom. And, you know, here are things that could happen. You don't have to get into great detail, but just make them aware.

It's unfortunate. You know, we always hear the stories. You know, when I grew up in L.A., and this is really true in the 70s. I mean, we didn't lock our door. And so it's that same kind of thing. You know, this is the way it used to be. But now there is evil in the world and here's how evil is expressed. And people can do bad things to other people.

And you need to be aware of that. Yeah. And, you know, have that discussion at the age appropriate level. Right. So those are good things. And if you have the power in your local community to push back on some of the policies that you disagree with, that's a wonderful part of living in a record. representative democracy, if we, you know, for as long as we possibly do. And so parents can't also

be afraid of bringing those concerns forward. Hey, this is Steve Day. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual, and rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity, and reality itself. On the Steve Day show, we take the news of the day and tested against first principles, faith, truth, and objective reality. We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort, we ask the hard questions and follow the answers wherever they leave, even when it's unpopular. This is a show for people who want honesty over hype and clarity over chaos. If you're looking for commentary grounded in conviction and unwilling to lie to you about where we

are or where we're headed, you can watch this T-Day show right here on Blaze TV or listen wherever you get podcasts. I hope you'll join us. Jim, something that you talk about a lot, so helpfully and effectively, is the problem of fatherlessness. That is unfortunately something that has plagued society for a long time and it doesn't seem to be getting better. Can you just talk to us about the implications of that on society as a whole and what we can do to help? Well, the empirical data is so strong here. And this is where, you know, so often people will hurl accusations at the Christian community that we don't believe in science and all these things just to, you know, besmirch us that, you know, we do two things. We can chew gum and walk at the same time. And that is we can have a faith in Christ and we can

look at science and interpret that in that way. And I think many people fail to realize that many of the early scientists were rooted in a relationship with Christ saying we're discovering the creation that God has created. And we do that through order. There's order in the universe, et cetera. So to get this down to the statistics on fathering, it's an amazing thing. And the more engaged a father is in the family, the healthier the family is that's the best way to say it. Right. A child who grows up in a two-parent home. is twice as likely to finish school, high school, five times as likely to go to college. You know, there's just the data sets are, there's not a negative direction.

So it shows you the importance of fatherhood. I think one of the most amazing ones for the Christian community is when a father becomes a Christian, 93% of the family members will become Christian. And when a mother does, and I think it's not a besmirching of the moms, but mom's love is almost taken for granted. I know many moms are going, yeah, that's true. You know, you just know that mom loves you, regardless of what you do. That's true. Dad is a wild card. And I think that's the power of the father that when a dad is living committed to Christ, think of that. 93% of the family members will come to Christ. When a mom becomes a Christian, I think it's like 27% of family members.

And it's just that leadership thing that when dad is committed, it ripples through the family. when you look at pain in children that didn't have a dad, and my dad was an alcoholic, he left my mom when I was five years old. So I lived on that side of it, which I hope, gives hope to a single parent mom for sure, that just because your circumstances seem to be set, the outcome isn't set. And your children grew up to be super healthy, productive people. And it's probably in large part due to your love as a mom that overcomes and compensates for that lack of a father. and then good people in their lives, which I had football coaches and others that really took me under their wing and showed me what it was to be a man and all those things. But we need as a society to do all we can to strengthen marriages. And unfortunately, Senator Lankford even said to me not long ago, he said, Jim, what I've noticed as a former youth pastor, by the way, in Oklahoma, he said what I've noticed is here in Washington, we know as the family gets weaker government needs to become stronger.

and many in Washington support that. And isn't that a sad truth that with welfare and other things that were meant to be a safety net, which could become a way of life, end up destroying the family and the independent parts of what the family needs to do, a father who can provide and protect and do those things. It brings dignity to a dad to a man to be able to do that. And, you know, right now in the black community, 77% of children born in that community don't have a dad. add in the home. Seventy-seven percent. And then we look at all that is going on and we fail to look at the headwaters. I live here in Colorado. I've hiked many times up to the headwaters

of the Colorado River. It's just a little bubbling creek you can jump over. That's the problem. The headwaters of the culture or the family, that's where you learn empathy, love, how to treat other people. And when that's broken down, all hell is going to break loose. And I think to a degree we're seeing that. And we have a lot of strong forces, unfortunately, in this country who not only disagree with everything that you said, but adamantly fight against it. They see putting importance or a priority on fatherhood is somehow, you know, bowing down to an oppressive patriarchy, which of course, we as Christians don't think the word patriarchy is bad, but there are people inside that do. and they don't believe that work adds any kind of moral purpose to someone's life, but basically

that whether you work or not, it's all the same, that it doesn't change your attitude, it doesn't change your sense of purpose, it doesn't change your sense of morale, but we as Christians, we know that these things are true, that everything that you just said is true. So what do we as Christians do then? In the face of these very strong, what I would call spiritual forces that are fighting against everything that we know is good and right and true, not only for us, but also and especially for the least of these in the country. Yeah, I think it's really important to be equipped to have that discussion, to talk about that, not to back away, not to be fearful. Again, the irony is for those who oppose that concept, they tend to laud science, except when the

science works against them. Yeah. So point that out. Point that out gently. Here's the data. Get familiar with the data sets. Here's one that is a mindblower, a woman who is living with a boyfriend. If she has children in the home, that child is nine times more likely to die at the hands of that boyfriend in that environment because there's no connection there. It almost seems animalistic. I get that. But think of that alone, a woman and her children are at that higher risk with a living boyfriend. And that's terrifying if that relationship goes sour. So knowing those data points and then when you go to breakfast and when you're talking to your friend group and all those kind of things, gently talk about that, you know, that having an intact loving family is really important.

And, you know, here at Focus, we follow all of that data. And one of the things we see that the best thing you could do in your parenting is to love your spouse. Yeah. Because when children see a stable relationship, that gives them the peace, the confidence, and the learning environment to become a better human being. So you want to be a great parent, love your spouse, and demonstrate that in front of your kids. And I just want to encourage people, too, that that doesn't mean that your marriage is perfect. That doesn't mean that your kids, you know, never see you argue or that you have to pretend.

Like, you know, everything is all together all the time. I have wonderful parents. And of course, I heard them argue growing up, but just their persistent not only love for each other, but their expression of affection and liking of each other growing up, I think filled me without knowing it, of course, with so much confidence and a sense of stability and security that I know helped me become and do what I do today. Just knowing that you have that support system of, and you're able to say at the end of the day, whether you're a young kid coming home from school or whether you're an adult like I am and you're, you know, wrapping up a day of work,

whatever it is, to know that, okay, even if everything else falls away, like even if the career goes away, even if, you know, you had a bad day at school, you got picked on, you got bad grades, your teacher got mad at you. If all of that happens, you still have that bedrock of the family, you still have a security and a stability and parents who love you unconditionally and who support you? I mean, that changes everything for a child's confidence, I think. You're on it, man. We need to get you over here at Focus on the family. But you're absolutely right. I mean, that's it. And it's really not complicated. When children feel safe and secure, they develop into really healthy people. And think of the, again, these families that are

fractured and broken and have had a lot of stress, you know, the end product is sometimes in trouble. And I remember going to Israel with Ray Vanderlone. We do a series with him called That the World May Know. And Ray is a Jewish scholar. He knows the scriptures in a Eastern Jewish mindset, not a Western concept. And when you walk with him in Israel, so many good things happen. And one of the main points he makes, he said, Jesus is bringing Shalom to chaos. And he expects the church to bring Shalom to chaos. That's what we sign up for. When sin entered this world, chaos entered this world. And you see it in no greater place than in the family. And so when we as Christian engage our neighbor, engage our friends, et cetera, our goal should be to bring shalom,

God's peace to chaos. That's what we do. That's when we bring some food to somebody who's hurting or good input on ideas and advice on how to deal with that teenager that's out of control. We're bringing shalom to chaos. That's our, that's our men of a festo. And it's a beautiful thing to do. And just be equipped. I think that's one of the problems in the church. We just are living life in a smaller way than we should be. And that's going to work and having a good family and getting vacation in and enjoying one another. There's a whole other thing. And it's not about comfort and leisure. It's about reaching into chaos and helping somebody around you, being a good neighbor. And we are conditioning ourselves to pull back from that. And I would say Jesus said,

know run into it and I'm with you. Oh, that's such a good word because when we look out our window, we see a lot of chaos and my instinct is to retreat because I'm scared, you know, for myself and for my family and all of that. But you're absolutely right is that the love of Christ compels us to run into those situations with the fruit of the spirit, which you reiterated so well so many times today. If you could please tell everyone, you know, where they can find you or any other resources that you would like to direct people to. Yeah. Thank you. you, Alibeth. Yeah, Focus on the family. Is it Focus on thefamily.com or you can call 1-800-A-family? And I think one of the great things that Focus does is we have free counseling. We have a counseling

department where we'll provide you an initial counseling call. It's hard to point to a single resource. I mean, Focus is a resource treasure chest. I mean, we've got, after 40 years of ministry, we have answers to almost every question. It's rare that we get a question nowadays that we haven't heard. And I think it just needs to be seen like that. We're like the web MD for the family. You can come to us and get input. Yeah, and get just about anything. We have a marriage assessment.

Over a million people have taken it. It just points out your strengths and weaknesses. We have the same for parenting. You can come in and do that free assessment. It just says, hey, here you go. Here are the things to work on, Dad. Don't be so rules-oriented. Right, right.

But, you know, whatever it might be, work on your loving skills. Yeah, so it's just whatever you need, just call us and we'll put something in your hands that will help you. Well, that is awesome. I know a lot of people are going to benefit from that. Thank you so much for taking the time to talk with me today. You bet, Alibeth, and your mom and dad must be super proud of you. You're an impressive young lady. Thank you so much. Well, they're a great mom and dad. And thank you so much for everything that you do and for the resources that you provide for us

and really how you guys helped, you know, shape my parents and then consequently helped shape my life growing up. So thank you. Yeah, that's great. That's great. Take care. You too. Hey, this is Steve Day. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual, and rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity, and reality itself.

On the Steve Day show, we take the news of the day and tested against first principles, faith, truth, and objective reality. We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort. We ask the hard questions and follow the answers wherever they leave, even when it's unpopular. This is a show for people who want honesty over hype and clarity over chaos. If you're looking for commentary grounded in conviction and unwilling to lie to you about where we are or where we're headed, you can watch this D-Day show right here on Blaze TV or listen wherever you get podcasts. I hope you'll join us.