Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 420 | Why Do I Vote Republican? | Q&A

Episode Date: May 13, 2021

We have some great audience-submitted questions to discuss today, including reasons to vote Republican, wedding day memories, and a truly timeless debate: Backstreet Boys or NSYNC? -- Today's Sponsor: Annie's Kit Clubs has the Young Woodworkers Kit Club & the Creative Girls Club to help your kids develop actual skills, master real-world building or new crafting techniques while expressing their creativity. Go to AnniesKitClubs.com/ALLIE & save 75% off your first shipment! --- Past Episode Mentioned: Ep 98: Husband Q&A https://apple.co/3eEjVlA --- Buy Allie's book, You're Not Enough (& That's Okay): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love: https://alliebethstuckey.com/book Relatable merchandise: https://shop.blazemedia.com/collections/allie-stuckey

Hey guys, welcome to Relatable. Another Q&A episode today. Today we have some less deep questions. Typically, I only get through like three kind of deep or theological, political questions. But today you guys ask me a lot of fun questions, some serious questions too. So it's still going to be a good use of your time to listen to this episode. But I'll also answer some fun questions that you guys have. As always, if you love this podcast, if it has meant anything to you, if it has helped you in any way, I would love for you to leave, a five-star review on Apple Podcasts. It would mean a lot to us. And if you haven't subscribed to my YouTube channel already, then please do that. The video version of these episodes comes out between about five to six central time. And a lot of you,

I love when you put on your Instagram stories that you, like, have me up on the television while you're cleaning or something like that, like you're watching a TV show. I, my husband actually had that pulled up the other day. I was coming in from the garage and I was like, whose voice is that? It was mine.

I was up on the TV. I don't like watching myself. I do listen to every podcast episode that I do, but I listen to it on two times. And I know a lot of you think that I talk so quickly, but when I go back to just regular, when I listen to it, like on regular speed, I'm like, oh my gosh, I sound inebriated. Like I cannot listen to myself on regular speed. I think I sound super slow. but depending on your age and depending on your preference, you probably think that I talk

quickly. It actually is very much by age that I get that feedback. Typically, people that are my age have no problem with how quickly I speak, the cadence or the tone or anything, but you'll get older people, whom I love, by the way, I don't mind this critique at all and I don't mind your opinions on this. And I love that I have older people that listen to this show who tell me, hey, you talk too quickly or you sound like a millennial in how you inflect your words and inflect your sentences. That's true. I don't think it's nearly as strong as some older commenters say that it is actually when I listen to myself versus when I listen to other millennials. But I do definitely have, you know, that classic millennial girl kind of like upswing at the end of

sentences sometimes, I'll work on it. But it's so funny that those of you who are my age, most of you don't notice it. But anyway, it's okay, guys. This is a millennial show. I am squarely a millennial. I was born in 1992, which is right in the middle of millennialism. And so, like I said, if you love this podcast, even if you think that my inflection at the end of the sentences is too millennial for you, please leave a five-star review on Apple Podcast. That would mean a lot to me. All right. Let's get into some of these questions. Backstreet boys are in sync. This is the easiest question that I've ever been asked in my life. Obviously, Backstreet Boys. Like, that's not even a, that's not even a question. Like, this is like, do I want to be on the right side of history or

wrong side of history? It's obviously the Backstreet Boys. And I was probably the Backstreet boys biggest fan growing up, like very intensely into the Backstreet Boys. I'm talking probably like second to fourth grade or something like that. We're probably, the biggest years for me as far as my Backstreet Boys fandom. Now, I was never allowed to go to one of their concerts. I really wasn't allowed to go to concerts in general, but I remember thinking about what I would wear if I did go to a Backstreet Boys concert and like, would I want to look cute? So like they would probably, you know, like would they notice me or would I want to wear like a backstreet boy's shirt to show that I'm a really big fan? These are the things that 8-year-old

Ali would think about when I was listening to the Millennium album. in our living room and crying about the fact that maybe I might never meet Nick Carter. Like that possibility to me was so astounding and so disturbing to my age-year-old self that maybe I would never meet the Backstreet Boys that I was legitimately very sad about it. Loved the Backstreet Boys. I remember when one of their, was it actually, I don't remember if it was one of their albums or an InSync album because I still, you know, I liked Insink because everyone listened. in sync, but I just wasn't their number one fan. I think it was an in sync album and it said

the D word in it. And of course, like back then, like you got the CDs and the front pamphlet typically had the lyrics in them. And my parents, of course, my mom would read the lyrics before she decided whether or not I could listen to the CD, which I appreciate now. I probably didn't then. And I remember, I remember her showing me that one of the songs says the D word in in it. And I was like, I didn't know that it said that. I'm probably like in third grade at this point. And so I wasn't, I was also not allowed to listen to Christina Aguilera. I wasn't allowed to listen to Britney Spears growing up, which I'm, I'm sorry. I know there are a lot of Britney Spears stands out there. I don't feel like I miss out on a whole lot. Plus, I still knew all the songs.

Like Disney Channel used to have music videos and they would play Britney Spears, which now looking back, totally inappropriate. They would play Christina Aguilera. They would play backstreet boys and all of that. They came on like the Disney radio station. There were like kids bops. And so there were ways that I probably listened to Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears, but I wasn't actually allowed to buy their albums because my parents were right about this. What they represented was not in their appearance and how they dressed.

And, you know, some of the things they sang about probably wasn't appropriate for an eight to 10 year old. And then after that, I just wasn't interested in it anymore. And so I was jamming out to like, do you guys remember Jump 5? Jump 5 was a Christian band for a little bit there. So I was jamming out to some Jump 5 when I was in third grade when I wasn't listening to the Backstreet Boys. Zoe Girl, I've had a member of Zoe Girl on this podcast. You know Elisa Childers. Now she's an apologist. But Zoe Girl, so all those like Christian bands that you guys rocked out to probably if you were raised in the church, especially if you were. A Baptist, I did too, but Backstreet Boys were my number one. I had a Backstreet Boys nightgown. I had Backstreet Boys posters on my wall. I actually had to take down the poster of Brian because it freaked me out.

I remember that, like, you know how posters they follow you wherever you go, like their eyes follow you? And for whatever reason, his poster, I remember being eight years old, I was like, I can't, I can't deal with that. Plus, I like to Nick Carter way better. So Backstreet Boys versus InSink, definitely Backstreet Boys. I would still say that. I would still say that they have better songs than Insync, and I will fight you on this. This is a primary worldview issue, and if you're wrong on this, then you are on the wrong side of the universe, and I will not apologize for saying so. All right. Next question. Um, what?

made you a Republican? Well, to be honest, also to harken back to like eight-year-old Allie, the first election that I remember was the election of George Bush versus Al Gore, and I wanted to stay up all night to make sure that George Bush won. My parents are Republicans. As far as I know, they've always been a, they've always been Republicans, although I do think that my mom said that she may have been a fan at one point of Jimmy Carter, because I think he is from Alabama, and he was like, or sorry, Arkansas, a Christian from Arkansas. My mom is from Arkansas. If my mom's listening to this and she's like, that's not true.

I'm sorry. I'm not trying to lie. But I thought I remember my mom saying that at one point she thought she was a fan of Jimmy Carter. But I'm pretty sure that my parents have always been Republican. Now, I don't really care about the Republican Party, to be honest. Like, I just don't. I am a conservative. My parents always taught me conservative values, not because they taught me that it is

important to be a Republican necessarily. I don't really remember having those political conversations around the dinner table, but because of all the values that they taught me from an early age, just aligned with conservatism. A great love for our country. The Fourth of July has always been one of my favorite days of the year, if not my favorite day of the year. I love the Fourth of July. I've always loved this country. Like, I've always just understood, and I don't remember my parents overtly, you know, drilling this into my head. I've just always understood how incredibly blast and privileged we are to live in the United States of America. Like, I've always just known that it's the greatest country on earth because not necessarily,

you know, I'm not saying that our people are inherently better. Other countries aren't great, but the ideas and ideals upon which we were founded are the greatest founding ideas, ideas and ideals that have ever existed in human history for a country. And so, and I've just always understood that there are immense blessings that flow from the sheer fact of being an American. And also, my parents were entrepreneurs. And they came from very poor backgrounds. Their parents were not wealthy. My grandmother on my dad's side came from a very poor background. And she worked very hard to be the first one in her first. family to graduate from high school and then from college and then got her master's while she was

working during the day. And she became a teacher and she worked very hard to give a life, not just to her kids, but also to herself that her parents could not give her. I mean, she had a great upbringing, but she was raised on a farm in Louisiana. They were very poor and she worked very hard to do things that no one in her family had ever done. Certainly no woman had ever done. I think she passed down that work ethic to my family. I think she passed down that work ethic to My dad, they were not wealthy by any means growing up. He had to start work when he was a teenager and he became independent very quickly. My mom, you know, also really appreciates her parents hard work, but they didn't come from a lot of money.

And then my parents, when they got married, they were dedicated and committed to making sure that they used whatever resources God gave them to make sure that we, my brothers and me, had a better life than they did. And so them coming from very little to try to, for the sake of their children, for the sake of glorifying God and stewarding the resources and the blessings that they have, what little resources those were, they did. They cultivated and created a better life for their kids through hard work and through responsibility and through grit. They'd probably say that they made a lot of mistakes and they certainly had a lot of obstacles in the way. but I think their story very much influenced me and gave me a very positive perspective of what the American dream is and can be from living in a roach infested trailer to being successful entrepreneurs and business people. I think I always understood that that is a dream that is only possible really can only probably in a very probable way come to fruition.

the United States. And freedom and flexibility, especially when it comes to work and the things I wanted to pursue in life, has always been important to me. I think that entrepreneurial spirit that was passed down from my parents also just, I don't know, that that was a conservative value, the idea that I want the government as far out of my life as possible. And I want the freedom and the flexibility to make my own decisions and make something for myself by the grace of got in the same way that my parents did. I mean, that just pointed me in a conservative direction. And I never had a stage in my life where I was liberal. I never had a stage in my life where I was like, you know what? Maybe there is something to leftism. Now, like all high schoolers and college students,

there are times that you question the things that your parents tell you and you think that you know better. And I'm sure there were times when maybe I thought it would like maybe I thought that I was like a feminist before I knew really what feminism was. Or like maybe there was a time when I thought certain like moral or social issues were okay. And certainly like questioning things theoretically, probably when I was in high school. But as far as being like, hey, I'm a leftist. I want big government. Socialism's cool or abortion's fine. I never, I never went through that. I think part of it is also personality. I think personality, not just upbringing, has a lot to do, has a lot to do with how you politically lean, not always, but it can. And I've talked about

this before. I just had, I've always had skepticism towards authority. I don't like bureaucracy. I don't like collectivism in any sense. I really value individuality. I really value independence. I really value, like I said, flexibility and freedom. And I don't like self-important people who claim to have some authority over your life simply because they hold a title. And that to me is what so much a bureaucracy represents. And so there's just nothing that is, there's nothing that appeals to me from leftism. And in particular, the Democratic Party. And that has only grown the older that I've gotten.

As I see, I think the destruction that has been wrought by the Democratic Party. And by the way, has been aided and abetted by a lot of. tepid Republicans. And like I said, like I don't, I'm not like, oh, yes, I'm GOP stand. Republicans can do nothing wrong. I have no problem with criticizing Republicans. I would have no problem if one day I'm like, you know what, I can't vote Republican anymore. I don't, I don't feel any like allegiance to the Republican Party. So when people ask me, are you going to run for office one day? No, that sounds super boring to me. I don't have any desire to run for office. I don't have any like inherent fidelity. to the Republican Party

accept that they best represent the conservative values that I hold, that I truly believe that I was raised in. Now, obviously, you guys know, that's not my full answer

for why I'm a Republican or why I'm a conservative. I mean, you can just listen to the past three years of my podcast to get the most thorough answer on that. Why, theologically, why biblically,

why politically, why practically, uh, I tend, I do vote Republican and why I'm a conservative. Um, It does also go back to the fundamental idea that God gives us our rights, that he's our ultimate authority, and therefore the government does not have a right. It doesn't give us our rights. And so they do not have a right to just arbitrarily take them away. The idea that we were

created by a creator and endowed by our creator with certain unalienable rights that the government just has no authority to mess with. That is the fundamental conservative idea that I unfortunately see a lot of people who identify as conservatives think is just like not that important. It's like, oh, faith and believing in God and morality, all that stuff. That's not an important to conservatism. That's essential to conservatism. That's not to mean that you can't be a professing atheist and not see the practical benefits to conservative policy because certainly I think that's true or maybe you're

just fed up with a wokeism from the left, no matter what your faith is. But the conservative philosophy is absolutely full. founded on the idea that we were created by a creator, that creator has a higher authority than the government. Progressivism, on the other hand, it is essential to believe that the state is the highest authority. And that is why, as much as people try to make progressivism and Christianity congruent, progressivism ends up completely devouring Christianity when it comes to that worldview, because the state has to be supreme. will not share its glory with another.

All right. So that kind of answers that question. Do I think that showing the graphic nature of abortion is polarizing when it comes to pro-life conversations? I think it can be polarizing in the sense that, yeah, it's going to offend people. It's going to gross people out. It isn't always the best tactic, but it can be an effective tactic. I don't think it's wrong for people to show the grotesque reality of abortion just because

it's offensive, abortion is offensive. Abortion is offensive because when you are met with the reality of what abortion is, that abortion is always violent, that abortion is always bloody, that abortion always ends a human life. Now, whether or not you believe that life has value, that is the question that is up to debate. It's not a debate whether or not that's a human being. It's a human being with unique DNA. We're not just talking about the DNA of a strand of hair. We're not just talking about a DNA of sperm. We're talking about a unique DNA that is unique from the mother or the father, a unique combination of cells that only needs time and nourishment to be a full grown baby. But at conception has a gender, has all of the components of a human being. So that is when human life

begins at conception. Any time after that, if you want to claim that life starts any time after conception, it all just becomes arbitrary. It all just becomes subjective. And I think human life is too important to be placed in the category of the subjective and the arbitrary when it comes to ascribing value. And so I actually think it's important. And I do that a lot on this podcast. I don't show pictures, but I do talk about what an abortion procedure is, what it entails. Like I said, it's always violent. It's always death. It's always the intentional killing of a defenseless human being. And you can try to euphemize it by saying that, well, no, it's bodily autonomy, or you can say it's nuanced, or you can say it's complicated. And I agree that there are many circumstances, desperate situations, unfortunately, in which women are made to feel like they don't have a choice. And obviously, I believe in all the compassion and care in the world for those. women. But does that justify taking the life of a person when they're outside of the womb? Does a desperate situation justify killing a toddler or killing a teenager? Of course not. Like they're,

that's still a life. It's still a human being. So why does merely the location or the age or the size of a baby inside the womb suddenly demand nuance and justification because of someone's circumstances? I just don't think that that's a very good argument. I do think it's a very good argument. I do think it's important to talk about, okay, like, let's talk about what an abortion actually is because Planned Parenthood and the left, they don't want you to know that. They don't want you to think about that. They want you to think of it as nothing more consequential than a root canal. That it's just a clump of cells that's removed. And when you see that, okay, this little thing, I mean, at like nine weeks gestation is starting to have arms and legs and fingers and toes. By the time you get to 11 and a half

weeks gestation, what you're looking at on a sonogram is a fully formed tiny baby with arms and legs that are kicking. You see the brain. You see where the teeth are going to come in. I mean, you see a baby. And that's still in the first trimester. And so I think it's important for people to see that. And then what happens to that image bear, that human being in an abortion, I think that's absolutely crucial to the conversation. And yes, it is offensive because abortion is offensive because killing people, killing innocent people, defenseless people, killing babies should be offensive. And if it's not offensive to you, then again, you have a heart of stone and a brain of

mush, and I pray for you. I think there's a right time to bring up what abortion is. I think if there's a right time to talk about the graphic nature and reality of abortion, it might not be all the time. It might not be in every situation. I don't think it's in every situation. I think we have to have tact. I think we have to have discernment.

but do I think we should never talk about it because it's too polarizing? Abortion's already polarizing. And it is what it is. And pro-lifers have to be the ones who are willing to say, hey, because I'm pro-science and because I'm pro-reality, I care about talking about what this procedure actually entails and what it does to an image bear. Next question, favorite part about my wedding day. Oh, my wedding day was only.

six years ago now, which is crazy. It's crazy. It goes by so fast. At the same time, it seems like that was a whole lifetime ago. We lived in a different city, in a different state. We had different jobs. Obviously, we didn't have kids. Like, we've, I feel like we've lived so many, so many different stages in the past six years. But my wedding day was wonderful. If I do say so myself, I had an amazing wedding. We only dated for five months and we were engaged for four months. We have told our story in a Q&A a couple years ago. Yeah, I think it was probably two years ago now. It's on YouTube. I guess I can link to it in the description of this episode. And so we've answered like how we met and how we knew and all of that stuff. But I was able to plan our wedding really

quickly. Because I just knew, it's not that I had been like dreaming and planning necessarily for my wedding day, although of course I had thought about it, just like every girl, pretty much every girl has. Of course, I thought about it and I knew in general what I wanted, but I'm a pretty simple gal. I've posted pictures of our, of our wedding before. And so if you follow me, you know what it looks like on Instagram, but I'm a pretty simple person. I don't like, you know, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. glitter, glitzy, like shiny, anything like that. I like things. I've always liked things to be plain. I don't like patterns. I like things that are very classic. And so that's what our wedding was. We got married outside in Athens, Georgia. And it really was just beautiful. And there wasn't a

whole lot of decor that was needed, at least in the ceremony, because the venue was beautiful. And, yeah, So was the reception. I guess one of my favorite parts was the cake. We had really good cake from a place called Cecilia's in Athens, Georgia. We had like a three-tiered cake, and we also had cookies from insomnia. And we, fun fact, we took a picture with, like, cookies and milk because we also had these little personalized cups, like, with our name on it and with, like, our wedding date and stuff. And, like, there was milk and cookies.

And we took a picture with the milk and cookies. And I had to pretend, like, I was, like, drinking the milk. I hate milk. I've hated milk. Another fun fact about me. I've hated milk since I was a baby. Like my mom never was able to get me to drink milk. I hate the taste of milk.

It tastes sour. I hate the smell of milk. So I had to pretend like I was drinking milk on my wedding day just for the fun of it. But I don't like milk. But we had a ton of good desserts. And also we had a cake from a place called Brick Street in Greenville, South Carolina, went to school in Greenville, South Carolina. and Brick Street has really good sweet potato cake and also peanut butter chocolate cake.

And so we also had that. Like we had a ton of cake and cookies and we had really good food. And that was super important to me. One of the important things because I wanted to do, I didn't want to do a first look. No problem with first looks. I think most of my friends probably did a first look before the ceremony. I wanted the first time of him seeing me. I wanted to be when I was walking down the aisle.

And I'm really glad that I did that because. he like lost it in the best way. He was very much crying during the ceremony when he saw me walk down the aisle. So I'm glad that we did it that way. But that meant that we had to take pictures after the ceremony. And so that means that the guests have to wait. Now typically, I don't think that's a good idea. Like my, I would say my typical personality and propensity would be to say, no, let's do things the most efficient way possible. I don't want to people to have to wait in between the ceremony and the reception while we take pictures. But because I wanted that, I didn't want to see him before the ceremony, that's how we had to do it. And so I just

made sure that while we were taking pictures, one, that we had already taken pictures with the separate bridal parties, that I had taken all the pictures with my bridesmaids. He had taken all the pictures with the groomsmen with separate families. The only pictures that we had left in between the ceremony and the reception were us together and like our families together and things like that. And I also made sure that all of the guests that were waiting at the reception could go ahead and start eating. That's what I didn't want. I did not want people to have to stand up and wait, not have a place to sit and not have

things to eat while they were waiting on us to have pictures. So if you are planning your wedding, that is important. Make sure that your guests, if it's hot, that they have a place to go with air conditioning or fans, that they have a place to sit down and that they have sustenance. So they at least had appetizers, if not their dinner while we were taking pictures. And I was totally fine with that. I know a lot of people like the bride and the groom have to eat first before the rest of the guests.

That's not what we did. I didn't want people to be hungry because people get angry when they're hungry and people get angry when they're hot and they don't have a place to sit and it's uncomfortable. I want my guests to be comfortable. This is something that we are doing. Yes, it's for us, but it's also for them. and so I just made sure that everyone had really good food that was important to me. Everyone had, you know, they were comfortable in air conditioning and things like that.

And then I know this is not really answering the question. This is basically just telling you all about like my wedding ceremony and reception and all that. Then my husband and I got to eat like separately. We ate like inside the house that was on the property so we could make sure that we actually tasted the food because then when you go into your reception, everyone wants to talk to you and things like that. And so you don't get a chance to eat.

And it's very important that you. eat on your wedding day. And then I took some advice that someone gave me, which was take a moment, just like a few minutes to stand back and to take it all in. Just like take a mental picture in your mind or else you could so easily be overwhelmed and you don't catch all the memories that you want to catch. You're not going to remember everything from your wedding day. It's just impossible to. But take a few moments if you can throughout the day and just like take those mental snapshots. It kind of reminds me of that scene from the office. on Jim and Pam's wedding day.

They kind of do the same thing. And make sure also another piece of advice that I got was don't separate from your spouse at the reception. I think that's a great idea because then it's possible that you could keep getting caught like with different groups of people with different family members and conversations. And you don't end up spending the reception with them, which maybe for some of you, like that's totally fine. That's what you want to do.

But we kind of made a rule not to separate from each other. like we were with each other the whole night. We also had a band. They were really, they were really good. And it was just, it was really fun. It was really fun. Like I really, I look back and I don't have any regrets about my wedding. And I think I would decorate it in the exact same way six years later as I did then.

And yeah, but I will say if you're not planning a wedding or if you're not planning a big wedding, maybe like financial. just don't allow it. Maybe you don't have the time. Maybe you don't have the ability. Maybe you don't have the family support to have a wedding. The wedding is one day and it's wonderful. But it doesn't have to be perfect. It doesn't have to be big. It doesn't have to cost a lot of money. It doesn't have to have all of the bells and the whistles. You don't have to have a ton of yes there. The wedding is one day. The marriage is the rest of your life. And that is what you are committing to. That is what you are called to glorify God in. wedding can be a wonderful ceremony and a wonderful celebration. And of course, it's important. And it's okay to care about that. And it's okay to be excited about that. But that's just a few hours

of your life. Marriage is the rest of your life. And it's far more important. And what matters at the end of the day is that you get married to the person that God has brought into your life to marry. So if things go wrong on your wedding day or you look back and you're like, wow, things really didn't go exactly how I planned or things aren't going to go exactly how I am planning it looks like. Maybe if you are engaged, the important thing is that you get married. That's the important thing. There are probably things from my wedding day that didn't go perfectly. And I really don't remember them because at the end of the day, as fun as it was, it's very insignificant in the grand scheme of things. What's most important is that you get married. The marriage is what glorifies God. The wedding is maybe I'm

icing on the cake if you need it, but it's not necessary. It's not necessary to have a wonderful, joyful marriage and life, of course. But those are my tips if you are planning a wedding that I recommend. All right. One last quick question. How do I take my coffee? I take my coffee black. Didn't used to do the sugar and the cream. But then I was on whole 30, like when I was in college or something or maybe right after college. And so I was. I was. I stopped using the cream and I started using stevia. And then I ran out of stevia one day and I started drinking my coffee black and I haven't gone back since. So, yeah, it's probably been seven years of drinking black coffee and I can't stand to, I usually can't stand to put anything in it.

And so you can do it. Like if you're looking for a way to simplify your intake of coffee or to decrease your intake of sugar, A really easy way to do that is to drink your coffee black. It's totally doable, especially if you have the right coffee. All right, that's all I've got for today. Thank you guys so much for listening.