Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 428 | Is It a Bad Time to Start a Family? | Q&A

Episode Date: May 27, 2021

In today's Q&A, we discuss socialism and human nature, what to do when someone you know leaves the faith, and whether we should bother having kids in this crazy world. --- Today's Sponsor: Annie's Kit Clubs has the Young Woodworkers Kit Club & the Creative Girls Club subscription boxes that arrive each month, helping your children develop actual skills, mastering real-world building or new crafting techniques while expressing their creativity. Go to AnniesKitClubs.com/ALLIE & save 75% off your first shipment! --- Buy Allie's book, You're Not Enough (& That's Okay): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love: https://alliebethstuckey.com/book Relatable merchandise: https://shop.blazemedia.com/collections/allie-stuckey

Hey guys, welcome to Relatable. We are doing another Q&A episode today. Just a reminder, if you love this podcast, if you could please leave me a five-star review on Apple podcast, if that's where you listen, that would just mean a whole lot to me. You don't even have to write that much. If you want to, you can. Some of you do, and it's super meaningful, and I appreciate that. But if you love this podcast, I would love a five-star review. Subscribe on YouTube, Ali Beth Suckie, if you haven't already. All right. Let's talk about some of the awesome question is that you guys sent me. First question, how socialism misunderstands human nature. I love this question because it's something that we talk about a lot and I don't get tired of talking about it. The reason why socialism has not worked and it has never worked, you can look at the 20th century and you

can see how much it has failed. This assertion that socialism has never been tried simply is not true. It's just never been tried and worked. The reason is because it goes against human nature. And if you look at the Nordic countries, the Nordic countries, the leaders of the Nordic countries will tell you, look, we're not socialist. Yes, they have hefty social democracies or they have a hefty social safety net. They have a welfare state. They have very high flat tax rate, some of those countries. So like 60%, but it's flat. And so whether you are rich or whether you're poor, everyone is paying 60%. And they are paying into their education system, their welfare system, their health care system and all of that. Very different than the United States. We have a very progressive tax system, maybe the most progressive tax system in the Western world. And that's not only are you paying more dollar-wise if you're rich, but you're paying a much higher proportion if you are rich. So another thing is that like when people say that the rich don't pay their fair share, well, the top 50% of earners in America pay something like 90% of all taxes.

And if you are poor in the United States, you don't pay anything in taxes. You actually earn money from the government by way. of welfare and things like that. And so we have a very progressive leftist type tax system in the United States, of course, under Biden, he is raising taxes on people. He originally said it was going to be $400,000. It's actually going to be $200,000. As I'm recording this, I'm recording this in March, by the way. And so, again, the Nordic countries, people who say, well, that's socialism and that works. Not only is it not socialism, but it actually has some more conservative elements to their tax structure than America does in some ways.

And they are very pro-free market. They are very pro-business in those countries. Now, they are left-leaning in a lot of ways, especially socially. And there's not, you don't have the same constitutional rights in those countries, but they are not socialist countries. Their economies are not socialist. And even if they were, or I should just say the reason why it works for them in some ways. It doesn't actually work completely. But the reason why it works okay for them to have such big

government and to have such high taxes is because they're very small countries. They're also culturally homogenous countries. They're very different than the United States. We, I mean, it's wonderful how much cultural diversity that we have. But it also makes us very complex and the answers to our problems more complex and more multifaceted than it does to those tiny, small, homogenous Nordic countries. And so the comparison just isn't great. It's just not great. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense. And like I said, those are not actually socialist countries. So socialism has never succeeded. This idea of confiscating power, property, capital from the haves and giving it to the have not. So to accomplish some kind of so-called equity, meaning that everyone ends up in the same place,

everyone has equal outcomes. Everyone has the same, quote, distribution of wealth, according to what the government decides. It doesn't actually work. And the reason why I believe that goes against human nature is because it is human beings nature to one own property that is their own. It's not just human nature, by the way, it's also moral. It's also biblical in the Ten Commandments. Their commandments against property theft or even against wanting someone's property. And so a lot of people say that you really only need two commandments to biblically dismantle socialism, and that is, thou shall not covet and thou shall not steal. So not only does God say you're not supposed to steal something that isn't yours?

And I would say that absolutely applies to the government, but you're not even supposed to want something that's not yours. That's how much God believes in personal property. That's how much she believes in not just personal property, because Marxists will say they believe in personal property but not private property, but also private property. Property that is yours, you actually have ownership of it. That doesn't mean that we don't believe in taxes. The Bible is clear that we're supposed to pay taxes. We can render to Caesar what is Caesar's, but we're to render to God's what is gods. We're not to render to Caesar, that which is

gods. And Caesar, we believe, as Romans 13 says, should be subject to God. It's an institution. The government is created by God and should be subject to, um, to, what he says is right and he says is wrong. That's not a theocracy. As I've said many times, I don't believe that the New Testament gives us a precedent or a command to make any sort of theocracy here on earth. But it does say that there is one moral lawgiver, one transcendent authority on what is good, what is bad, what is right, what is wrong, and what is just and what is unjust. And of course, we believe, as the entire West once did, that looking to his example in general when coming up with the rule of law is good. That's where we get due process.

That's where we get property rights. That's where we get many of the freedoms and the laws that we have today from the general Judeo-Christian ethic of what is right, what is wrong, and what the law should look like. Socialism goes against that. It takes away human enterprise. It takes away property rights. And it creates a system that is based on covetousness. it creates a system that is based on envy. Socialism constantly is bucking against human nature. That's why it requires the bloodshed of so many millions of people in order to be enacted. Again, as we saw throughout the 20th century in Soviet Russia, in eastern Germany, in Vietnam, in China, in North Korea. This is what we see, that it has to be accomplished by taking away people's rights.

Like you just don't see any socialist countries where people also have free speech and freedom of religion. It just doesn't happen because the state has to become God in order for people to submit to it and in order for socialism to be achieved so that the government has enough power to take property and money from people and give it to other people in the hopes of achieving equity. And by the way, it's always in the hopes of achieving equity. What it actually does is just gives the government more power. It doesn't actually accomplish anything for the people that it says it's going to. We saw the same thing in Venezuela. It just ends in all kinds of exploitation, the same thing in Zimbabwe. It's the same story over and over again. Give your power,

give your money to the government. They'll take it. They'll say that it's for compassion to help the least of these. And then they just screw everyone over, including the least of these. They play upon your sensitivities and your desire to take care of people. They assure you, based on no history whatsoever, no historical support whatsoever, that they are the best vehicle. The government is the best vehicle to take care of people. They take your money via taxes by doing that. And eventually they they have so much power that you gave them in the name of your empathy that they're able to do whatever they want to do. And what they want to accomplish is not empathetic. History tells us that very well. If you study like North Korea, for example, there was a great book called Nothing to

envy that we read in the book club last year that talks about how these black markets cropped up in North Korea where there is established communism where people have been propagandized against capitalism and the free market their entire lives who have been made to believe that Japan and made to believe that South Korea and America are these awful imperialist capitalist countries. Well, I mean, they are capitalists, but they're made to believe that all of these things are terrible and that capitalism is so bad and communism is great. But these people are starving. Like they understand that they're starving. They understand that they're not getting the things that they need to get. And so what happened is that they created these.

black markets that were built on supply and demand. And they, you know, smuggled goods from China in order to, in order to create a market to meet the demand of food that was had in starving North Korea, thanks to communism. And so these are people who they didn't know economics, like they didn't know capitalism. They didn't know the free market. And yet they understood inherently how to trade and how to provide for themselves and how to, and how to, you know, how to navigate supply and demand. And that's why I say that socialism goes against human nature, but capitalism, not crony capitalism, which we have so much of today, but just supply and demand, free markets actually abides by human nature. It is the most natural form of market that you can

have. That is, again, why socialism and communism always have to be imposed. But capitalism, supply and demand just crops up naturally, even among people who have never been taught about it before. All right. So I hope that kind of answers that question. That was long. Favorite place that I vacationed. First thing that comes to mind is where my husband and I went on our honeymoon, which is very basic. I think a lot of people go to Cancun for their honeymoon.

We did. It wasn't necessarily the place that was the best because I've been to a lot of great places. I've been to a lot of places in Europe. I've been to Barcelona. I've been to Rome. I've been to Paris. I've been to London. I've been to Scotland.

And all of those places, I've been to Amsterdam. All of those places were wonderful. And I loved all those places. But I'm like a beach girl. I love relaxing. I love doing nothing. And I love eating food. And so your honeymoon is basically the place for all of those things.

And the resort that we stayed at in Cancun was so wonderful. It was like you, it wasn't like a family friendly resort. It was only for, it would, there were no kits. And so it was very quiet. It was very clean. You walk in. They give you this like sweet coconut milk, which was amazing and just like incredible service pampered all of that fun stuff. And we haven't gone back. We keep saying, oh, we need to go back. And then of course, this past year has just been crazy. And we haven't gone back. I don't know if we will. But our honeymoon in Cancun was probably like the favorite, my favorite place that I have ever stayed.

My encouragement to you, if you can swing it or if someone can gift this to you and you're going on a honeymoon, if you can afford to go on a honeymoon and you're planning to do it, go all-inclusive. All-inclusive is the way to go. And it's going to seem like a lot up front, but it is worth the freedom of mind when you're there to not have to worry about like, you know, tipping or, well, I guess you can. I guess you do still tip, but you don't have to worry about like, okay, if I get a dessert, is it going to be too much? if I want to get a second dinner, if I want to get room service, like, am I going to have to pay extra? What's my bill going to be at the end of the week? You don't have to worry about that.

It's literally all inclusive. And that was such like a hard concept for me to understand. I remember, like, okay, I ordered a dinner one night. I didn't like it. I want to order another dinner. Oh my gosh, this surely is going to be extra, but it's really not. So just having that freedom of already knowing that you paid for it or already knowing how much it's going to be and just being able to enjoy yourself, that is my recommendation.

if you can swing an all-inclusive resort stay, even if it's just a few days, like three days for your honeymoon, then I encourage you to do it because for us it was a really great option. All right. Someone asked me, what is persecution? Or how do we think about persecution? So there's a conversation right now, like whenever Christians, especially in America, talk about persecution, like if we talk about a florist or a business owner who, for example, is getting dragged through the mud or is like losing her. or clientele because an activist group targeted them because, for example, their stance on biblical

traditional marriage or someone being criticized or slandered for their faith. You'll hear Christian say that's persecution and then you'll hear a loud cacophony of people on the other side say, no, no, no, no, that's not persecution. Christian sees to stop talking about persecution. There's Christian privilege in the United States. It's white privilege. It's all this stuff. And they'll shout you down and they'll say, You don't know anything about persecution. Well, it's true that we Christians in America have enjoyed this wonderful respite from a lot of persecution over the past few centuries in the West, but in particular in the United States. Religious liberty and Christianity being mainstream is an exception in church history, not the rule. So for most of church history, for 2,000 years, the rule has been that Christians are persecuted

still today. Pew Research reports that the number one persecuted religion around the world is Christianity. So when people talk about Christian privilege, I just want to roll my eyes. But America is unique and that we have a lot of Christians and that Christianity, even though it is getting pushed to the margins, it's very mainstream in a lot of ways. You know, whether people like it or not, even the laws that we have. on the books like laws against murder, laws against theft, laws for property rights, laws for due process that everyone benefits from, those are based in the Bible. You might not like that.

You could reject that. You could say, no, that's just common sense. Other, you know, other countries have murder laws too. That's true, but it still goes back to the absolute morality and the right and wrong that God declared thousands and thousands of years ago to his people. And you could say even that's part of general revelation that God wrote good and evil on our hearts, that people who haven't even read the Bible understood inherently that it is wrong to kill an image bearing. There should be a price to pay for that. But not all countries, by the way, believe that. Like you know, there are many countries and millions of people that are subject to the death penalty for saying the wrong thing or believing the wrong thing or for criticizing

their government. And so the idea of freedom of conscience is also very unique to America. which a lot of people would say it's waning, but I would say that's because Christian influence is weighing. And so the question is, is there, like, is there persecution in America against Christians? Well, I think that we need to expand our definition of what persecution means. It's absolutely true that Christians in America are not dealing with the same kind of persecution that Christians in China are dealing with or Christians in the Middle East are dealing with. Of course, that's not true. Or Muslims in China or Muslims in the Middle East. They are, are definitely. being persecuted in a much worse way than anyone is here. That's absolutely true. But persecution

doesn't necessarily just mean being a martyr. It doesn't just mean being arbitrarily detained. It doesn't just mean torture or all of the terrible things that people in other countries, Christians and other countries are going through. Yes, I do believe that that could mean having your business targeted. That could mean being dragged through the mud by the media. I do think that that could mean unfair, unfair criticism, like untrue criticism, slander about you. I'm not saying that's the same thing that Christians in other parts of the world are going through. But, I mean, Jesus does tell us that we will, all Christians will be persecuted. And 2 Timothy 312 says, indeed all who live, who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.

it. And so I believe that means in one way or another. And you can say that without equating all types of persecution or without trying to make yourself a victim. Like you can say that someone is being persecuted or that you're being persecuted and still declare that as Romans 8 says that you are more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus and that you know that he's coming back and he's going to rule in perfect peace. And as Psalm 37 says, we'll look around and the wicked will be no more. So you acknowledging persecution in your own life or other people's life is not to decry a victim narrative. Actually, James tells us, the book of James tells us that we should have joy in our trials.

Like, we're going to go through trials. We're going to go through persecution. He was talking to Christians who were dealing with persecution and who had dealt with persecution. And it's like Christians believe in having joy in that. And so it's not saying, oh, poor me. It's just stating a fact that there are different kinds and different levels of persecution. And when someone pushes back on you and says, oh, this is not persecution, if you

are being persecuted, if you are being pushed back against for truly righteousness's sake, I'm not just saying because you were a mean person and someone told you that you were mean or you did something wrong and someone criticized you. But if you are truly being attacked, and it's a true attack, not just disagreement, or not just rebuking, like godly rebuking, but you're truly being attacked in one way or another because of obeying Christ. And I believe that James Coates's imprisonment definitely falls into this category, the pastor out of Canada, then that is a form of persecution. Absolutely. Remember, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted. Doesn't mean that Christians are the only ones who are persecuted.

Second Corinthians 417 says, for this light, momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison. I think that means that if you are talking about slander or true deep sorrow, I think it means that if you're talking about, you know, going to prison, for your faith or you're talking about someone targeting your business for your faith or losing a friendship over your faith. These are all afflictions and all trials and all part of living in a fallen world that God says he's going to take care of and redeem. And so I really don't think that we need to like be quibbling over what's persecution and what's not. The fact of the matter is is that Jesus tells us that we're going to take up our cross and follow him and that life is

going to be about self-denial. That it's going to be hard. That in this world we will have trouble. He says, you will have trouble in this world, whether that's persecution or just life being hard. But take heart, he says, I have overcome the world. He doesn't say take heart, it's not going to be that hard. Or take heart, it's not going to hurt. Or take heart, people are going to understand you. Or take heart, everyone's going to like you. He says, it's going to be hard, but take heart, I have overcome the world. So our confidence is not that we're going to escape any kind of trials or persecution here on earth, but that we are, can have perfect confidence in his victory. And we do have confidence in that. And we look towards the hope

of heaven and the hope of him coming back and taking care of all the sadness and all the wickedness and all the persecution that is being seen here on earth. So one question I get a lot is, should I be having kids right now? If I'm married. Like I'm a Christian. Should I be having kids? I'm worried about what's going on. Like I'm worried about the economy. I'm worried about our safety. I'm worried about the future of our country. I'm worried about some forms of persecution. I'm worried about our loss of freedoms. I'm worried about raising my kid in this crazy time. Like, should I be having kids? And I think that the Bible absolutely speaks to that. Remember, yes, the Bible was written many thousands of years ago,

and it was written to a particular people in a particular context, speaking to a particular moment, but it was for us. Like God's sovereignty, God is sustained in the eternal now. So God is not limited by time. That means that the Bible, his word, is also not limited by a cultural moment. That means it is for us today. And God inspired the words of the Bible, knowing every hard thing that every Christian would endure.

And look, Christians have been through a lot harder than what we're going through right now. Like if you look at the history of the church, the early church, what was happening in the time of Nero, what has happened throughout history. Like Christians have gone through a lot more than we are going through right now. And the Bible still stands. Like the Lord still said what he said in the Bible. And here's just one thing that he says in Psalm 127, 4 through 5. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth.

Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them. He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. The entire Bible speaks to children as a blessing. Speaks to children as children being a positive asset in your life. It never speaks to children being a curse. It never speaks to children being a burden or being something that we need to put off because we want to travel or because we don't feel like it. Honestly, the Bible doesn't really give Christians that option. The Bible simply says that.

children, if you are married, if you're called to be married, are good. Like there's something that we should rejoice over, whether it's your biological children or whether it's adopted children. I think both are beautiful depictions of the gospel. Now, the Bible, or God might not call you to be married. And as we've talked about before, singleness is a wonderful gift that you can fully glorify God in, that you're not an incomplete person. You're not missing out if you're not married. Not according to the Bible. Jesus obviously wasn't married. He was the most complete person that ever. lived as God made flesh. And Paul talks about the gift of singleness as well. And so,

but if you are married and you are thinking about whether or not you should have kids, I would encourage you, don't base your decision to not have kids off of fear because God knew everything that was going to happen when in the Bible he so consistently and continually called children a blessing. And in this particular verse, calls children an arrow. in your quiver. Now, I want to talk about that statement. I really love that metaphor because if you think about what you're doing for your children as you are raising them in the Lord, raising them to love God with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength, and to love their neighbor as themselves, you are shooting them into the future. They are like arrows going forward, and you want them to

advance the gospel in all that they do and advance God's love and all that they do. And you want them to be a good influence for their generation and make a mark on the future that glorifies God in the same way that an arrow does. Now, I do not want this to get confused with what's known as like quiverful ideology. And this is one of those words like or terms like Christian nationalism that kind of gets muddied that is used by people who don't really know what it is to try to slander people that they disagree with, slander people who say that children are just a blessing. That's not the same as quiverful ideology, which kind of goes hand in hand with this like patriarchy movement between or within some forms of like fundamentalist Christianity, which basically says that like

all children or all women until they get married, no matter how old they are, or under the authority of their dad. And there's a lot, there's a lot more more to it. Obviously, I don't agree with that. I don't think there's a biblical precedent for that. That would have been a huge problem For me, if we believed that or if my dad had believed that. And this quiverful thing kind of, it's in the same realm of that. And it's not just the belief that children are arrows in your quiver, which is biblical, but it's the belief that children are these soldiers or are these tools to turn the country into a Christian nation, to turn the country into what you want it to be.

And I don't think that's biblical. Again, I don't think that there is any New Testament or any Old Testament precedent for us creating theocracies here on earth. There's just not. I don't think that that's, I don't think that's biblical at all. Should we advance laws and policies that are good for all people that promote true biblical justice that advance, I think the freedom and the ability to care for yourself, those kind of policies, yes, I absolutely do. Should we try to push policies that support the family? As we know that the family is really the incubator of values, the creator of value systems and belief systems that can launch a child into a successful future. Yes, I do. But creating a

is not something that Christians are tasked to do. We just don't see that asked of us or demanded of us. And so I don't think that we need to see Christians that or see our kids that way as like these soldiers that we're sending into battle in order to make America a Christian nation. Are we sending them forward to advance the cause of Christ in advancing the gospel and advancing charity and advancing the truth and advancing godliness and glorifying him and all they think say and do advancing service. Yes, I do think so. And God uses, is going to use their small sphere or their big sphere, however much influence that he gives them, he is going to use that if they are of him for his glory and the good of other people, just like he has for all of human history.

And so I think that there is a distinction there. But the important thing for us to note is that children are a blessing and that God knew what would be in store for this generation when he created this generation, the same way that he does for us. Like, I think a lot of us have nostalgia about, oh, I wish I was, you know, lived 30 years ago or 100 years ago. I'm in the wrong generation. No, you're not. No, you're not. I remember, I think it's AW Pink who says that grumbling against the weather is grumbling against God.

And it's the same thing when we say that we're grumbling about the time that we were placed on earth. God did not place you here arbitrarily. He did not place you here accidentally. He placed you to meet the exact challenges that this generation faces. He didn't place you being born in 1960. That's not what he wanted. He didn't want you to meet the challenges of that generation. Those were not for you. We have no business having, I mean, and I want to talk, because I have necessarily. about the 1980s all the time, even though I wasn't even alive then. I just like that era in history. But so preaching to the choir a little bit. But we have no business having nostalgia for pastimes, or wishing that we lived in a different era because God did not place us here on accident.

He placed us exactly at the spot in the large span of eternity where he wanted us. And our life is very, very short. And he has just called us to glorify him and to obey him in this time. And it's really that simple. Love God and love your neighbor. and the small span of time that he has given you. Your sphere of influence might be huge. It might be small. No matter what, he asked for obedience. He asks for truth.

He asks for justice. He asked for mercy. He asked for us to make much of him and not very much of us. It's the same for our kids. I saw a post who was circulating a while ago that it was like, don't feel sorry for your kids. They're facing the challenges that God has ordained that they should face. and our job is to equip them to face those and the best way that we possibly can. Like, God has given us the responsibility to raise the next generation, even if you don't

have kids. Like, if you're a teacher, if you're a Sunday school teacher, if you work with kids, you can mentor the next generation. You have a hand in helping shape the next generation in the ways of the Lord. And that's our responsibility. And God did not pick another generation to raise the next generation. He picked our generation and he didn't pick our kids to be a part of any other generation. He picked them for this time.

We have to trust in his sovereignty that he knows better than us. And if God says that children are a blessing, then we have to trust him on that, even when it's scary and even when it's hard. And so that would be my answer to that. All right. I've got one more quick question to answer. What do you do when your friend leaves the faith? Very difficult.

I think you continue to share the gospel with them. You continue to love them. You continue to be faithful to them. You pray for them unceasingly. I've got a list of people that I'm like, it's just a matter of time. You're coming to know the Lord. I just feel it.

And so I've got a list of people that I pray for that are not believers. And you can keep that list too and just continue to pray for them. You can listen to them, hear their concerns, hear their doubts. Try to wrestle with them yourself. See if you can come up with any answers. direct them to any resources possibly. But just keep praying for them, keep sharing the gospel with them, keep being a faithful friend to them. They're going to see people turn away from them and betray them and no longer love them. And you should be the friend that you would want in that

situation. I hope that helps. All right, that's all I've got time for today. I will see you guys back here soon.