Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 54 | Our Fundamental Disagreements

Episode Date: November 13, 2018

We're more tribal, more outraged, more partisan than we've been in decades. What's causing this great divide, and what can we do about it? Then, a rare moment of reconciliation on SNL. Finally, one listener question. Copyright CRTV. All rights reserved.

Hey, y'all. What's up? Welcome to Relatable. This is Ali Stucky. Thank you so much for listening to my podcast. If this is your first time here, we discuss politics, we discuss culture, what's going on the news. We also discuss theology, all from a Christian conservative perspective. So just FYI, I'm not out here trying to pretend like I'm unbiased. I'm always going to try my best to present you with the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. But I don't pretend to be like an objective journalist or anything. I am a commentator. I am, I wouldn't call myself an analyst, but someone who analyzes what's going on. And that is the perspective that I have of a Christian conservative. So today, from that perspective, we are going to talk about the craziness of the midterms. Yes, somehow that's still going on, even though the midterms were a week ago. And we're also going to talk about the downright scariness of tribalism right now that's happening in our partisan political world that we live in. So we're going to talk about that, but then we're going to end on a positive note. And I'm also going to answer some of your questions that you guys sent me via Instagram. I got a lot of good questions. So I'm going to answer as many

as I possibly can. First, I'm going to tell you about how I sleep at night in case you were wondering. I sleep on this really awesome pillow that was made by bolster sleep. I has this amazing technology that keeps you cool all night. It also keeps its shape. I've said before, I sleep with like a million different pillows around my head, but I haven't had to do that ever since I got bolster sleep. It's just, it's an amazing, amazing thing, pillow tool that has helped me sleep better. I used to get cricks in my neck all the time. I would wake up and feel like, oh my gosh, I'm just so tense. I really don't feel like that anymore. I would not lie to you guys. They don't just make pillows, though.

They make adjustable beds, mattresses. And every purchase you make also go. to help people over in Haiti. They support a program that equips people in Haiti to be trained in basic trades like plumbing or anything that can help them support their families. And so buying from Bolster Sleep not only helps you because you're getting a better night's sleep, but it's also helping people in need across the sea. So it's really just a win-win. Plus, if you go to bolstersleep.com and you use promo code Allie, A-L-L-I-E, you get $100 off a mattress or an adjustable bed. So it's well worth it. And you know what? you're probably going to need, you're probably going to need a good night's sleep when you realize

the state that our country is in because of the political tension that we are now experiencing. I mean, I know that I've only been around for 26 years, which means I really only remember like the past 10 years of my life, especially when it comes to politics, probably fewer than that. But definitely in my lifetime, as far as I can remember, this is the most, most tense, the most hate-fueled time that we have ever lived in. People look across the aisle and they say, you know what, that person's not just wrong. That person doesn't just have bad ideas, but I hate them. And I want what is worse for them. People have asked me before, you know, what's the worst part of being in political media or kind of being in this sphere that I'm in?

And it's the, and I say this as someone who is not nearly as famous as so many people. are in this realm. I'm just a tiny blip on the map. But it's even so in my position, it's the feeling and the knowledge that there are people out there that if you died, they would celebrate. They would publicly say, good, I'm glad that this person is gone off of the earth. I really don't care if she was violently murdered. This is better for mankind that this person with conservative politics is no longer on the face of the earth. People that not only want to see you dead, but also want to see your life ruined. I don't, I can't say that there has never been a time like this in American politics. I'm sure that there has been. I mean, definitely the founders

had their contentions with, with other people in the political sphere. They had their disagreements that sometimes ended in duels like Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton. So it's not like we've never had extremely contentious, extremely hate-filled times before. But it's It certainly seems worse than it has been in decades. So most of you know who Tucker Carlson is. He hosts Tucker Carlson tonight on Fox News. It's one of the highest rated news shows in cable news, extremely popular. He's been doing this for a really long time.

He used to work at CNN, used to work at MSNBC. He's worked at Fox for a few years. And he is extremely strong, especially on the subject of immigration, to the point where people really don't like what he has to say about it. Immigration is an extremely sensitive topic. People say that if you are against illegal immigration, then you must be some sort of racist bigot. Of course, people have labeled Tucker is that simply for asking logical questions about illegal immigration and purporting that there might be an importance in borders. People don't like Tucker Carlson because of this. And of course, if Tucker Carlson's show wasn't rated so high,

they really wouldn't care about him at all. They wouldn't be talking about him. But because so many people watch Tucker, a lot of people on the left feel like that is their responsibility to demean him, to call him out, to push him back, whatever it is. So last week, I think it was, we saw a video surfaced from an account called Smash Racism, D.C. A bunch of self-deemed vigilantes that go around and they protest people that they think are perpetuating racism. Of course, they believe that Tucker Carlson is one of those people. So what do they do? They go to his house and they yell things at him and his family. Here is a brief video of that. So apparently, they think of where you sleep at night. So apparently they think,

that this is extremely effective. As you can tell, if you're watching this on CRTV.com, this is at night. He doesn't appear to be home from what I understand. He was actually recording his show at this time. And he says that his wife was home by herself. She was cooking. She heard someone banging on the door. It sounded like someone apparently was trying to push the door through. She got into her pantry and she called 911. Of course, she thought that it was a home invasion. I mean, well, what else would you think? He said that his wife isn't really, you know, involved in politics. It's not like she's thinking, oh, this must be Antifa.

This must be the antifascist. This must be smash racism, D.C. No, she was just living her normal life. I think that Tucker has four or five kids. She might have been making dinner for a few of her kids. I'm not really sure what was going on, but she was home by herself. Obviously, she was scared. She called 911, and they posted this video,

Smash Racism, DC, on social media. they also broadcast his address. They put his address on there for everyone to see. This is what is called doxing where you put people's personal information on Twitter so people can go and harass them and possibly cause them physical harm. You just never know what people are going to do with that kind of information. And Twitter, of course, went absolutely crazy. Conservative Twitter said, are you kidding me? We're going to allow this to be up. They reported the tweet. they reported the tweets with all the addresses. There are still tweets with his address up, by the way. But people are trying hard to combat that. You had conversations between the left and the right on, is this okay? Is this really America? Have we devolved into this kind of anarchy? Tucker took two days off vacation. He said it was pre-planned. I don't know if it was pre-planned. Whether it was or not doesn't really matter. I'm sure that he was scared for his family safety. He actually went on his own show when Brian Kilmead was hosting and he had a little bit to say just about

his feelings on everything that's going on. And that just that breaks my heart. That breaks my heart to hear him say he doesn't want to leave his kids home by himself, by themselves because of his profession, because of his politics. Really? Like, is that the America that we want to live in? we are so scared of the mob physically harming us, hurting, killing, whatever, harassing our children, that we can't even speak up for the things that we believe in.

That's not protesting. That doesn't make you an activist. It doesn't make you a vigilante. That makes you a psychopath. That means that you are unhinged, that you are unstable, that you have nothing else to do with your life except for making someone else miserable. And the sad thing is that there's not just a few extremists on the left that do this, but that it's somewhat not by everyone on the left,

but it's somewhat celebrated or at least tolerated by people on the left. Now, to Brian Stelters and Chris Cuomo, Jake Tappers, people at CNN, to their credit, they did speak out about this and say, you know, this is criminal, this is wrong, no reporter should feel in danger because of his job or because of what he believes or says on his show. So good for them for that,

that there was a guy, his name is Matthew Iglesias, And he's the co-founder of locks. He still does some kind of journalism. And he said, you know, honestly, I can't empathize with Tucker's wife at all. I have no idea how this feels. And here's specifically one of the tweets. He had a series of tweets. He just got completely lambasted and ratioed over this.

So one of the things that he said, this Matthew Iglesias, real awesome human being, he said, I think the idea behind terrorizing his family, like it or not as a strategy is to make them feel some of the fear that the victims of MAGA-inspired violence feel thanks to the nonstop racial incitement coming from Tucker, Trump, et cetera. So first of all, what is he even talking about? Is he talking about the MAGA bomber, the guy who was insane, who already had a criminal record before he sent mail bombs to the, you know, Democratic influencers and politicians? Yeah, he was a crazy person.

sure, maybe he was a crazy person that latched onto something that Donald Trump said and ran with it. That's not Donald Trump's fault. That's not Tucker Carlson's fault. Brian Stelter, if you'll remember, also said in the midst of all of that, that Fox News needs to do some soul searching. So even though Brian Stelter after this said, oh, you know, that's criminal and wrong that they're protesting at his house, well, I think it's a little bit ironic. So Brian Stelter of CNN, who said that Fox News needs to do some soul searching after the whole Maga Bomber thing happened. What does CNN need to do when someone like Tucker Carlson is being terrorized? You say that he needs to do some soul searching for being on Fox News and calling the caravan a group of invaders. So what does CNN need to do when conservatives are terrorized?

Because CNN is every bit if you're if you are going to call news stations guilty for inciting violence, which I am not a fan of. I think the only person responsible for violence is the person who perpetrates the violence. but if according to CNN's Brian Stelter's standards, news organizations need to be held accountable and need to soul search for inciting violence. Well, then CNN does too. They need to live up to their own standards because they certainly demean Trump and conservatives on a daily basis.

They have guests say that, for example, Donald Trump has terrorized more people than ISIS and they let that go completely uncombatated, completely unconfronted whatsoever. They talk about people like, Tucker Carlson, they say like Don Lemon did that white men are terrorizing the country. So they aren't supposed to be responsible. They aren't supposed to be held accountable for their rhetoric when conservatives are terrorized. But it's the other way around.

Fox Nudes needs to be held accountable. That doesn't make any sense. All I'm asking for is an even standard. And I personally think that news organizations should report the truth. They should report facts. They should, of course, be held accountable for what they say. but they shouldn't be accredited for inciting violence unless they are actually inciting violence unless they're actually telling people to go out there and terrorize people.

No, they're not responsible for these acts of violence that happen. But I'm just saying if CNN wants to set that standard, then they also need to live up to that standard. So that's the position that we're in right now, that not only do we have people terrorizing others across the aisle, but we also have people that say, you know what? I kind of get it. I kind of understand. Like when James Hodgkinson, the guy who was a Bernie Sanders lover and shot up Steve Scalise

and other Republican congressman on the baseball field a year or so ago, the reason he did it or the reason he felt like he needed to do it was because, oh, 24 million people were going to die because Republicans were kicking them off of health care, a statistic that's not true at all. It's complete apocalyptic hyperbole. But he believed that and that partly motivated him. I don't think Democrats are to be. blame for that. I don't think Bernie Sanders is to blame for that. I think that guy was crazy. He might

have been motivated by something that he said, but he was crazy anyway. I'm fine as long as we apply the standards to both sides. I'm fine with that. I don't think that we need to be pointing fingers, or maybe we need to all be pointing fingers and turn it down just a notch. Maybe we all need to take a step back and say, okay, how am I contributing to this? I've talked about this on this podcast before that I can do a better job of turning down the temperature and saying, okay, I need to stop making this such a heated conversation or a heated debate. I'm sounding like sometimes I sound like, even though I don't feel this way, that I believe that all Democrats are bad people because they're Democrats. That's not true. And that's exactly, this is exactly where that argument gets us,

the argument that because you disagree with me, because you don't align with my agenda, you're not just wrong, but you are a bad person. That's where, this is where, this is where, that gets us. People terrorizing you outside your home wanting to see you die, wanting to see you hurt, wanting to see you silence, wanting to see your entire life ruined. That's where that argument gets us. That if you don't agree with me, you are bad. You're bad for America. You're bad for humanity because then people feel like they are vigilantes. That, okay, well, if you take out someone that's bad for humanity, aren't you kind of doing a favor for humanity? And so you can justify it. you kind of feel like the superhero a little bit.

That's really dangerous. We all need to be very clear, me included. I know I've said this several times, but I can be even more clear that the people on the other side of the aisle are not bad themselves because of their politics. They have bad ideas. I believe that Democrats have bad ideas that are hurting the country. I do think that their policies are stupid. And maybe some of them are bad people.

Maybe some of them are stupid themselves. But they're not bad and stupid just because they're Democrats. they might have other things in their life that make them bad and stupid. I don't know. Same thing with Republicans. But they're not bad simply because they are Democrats. Now, do I think being pro-choice is immoral? Absolutely.

Do I think open borders is immoral? Absolutely. Do I think socialism is immoral? Absolutely. Single payer health care. Yes, absolutely. But the fact of the matter is probably, I would say, probably most liberals at least have good intentions in those things.

They might be ignorant. They might not understand. the implications of their beliefs. I certainly don't think Acacio-Cortez, for example, has any idea what her plan is going to cost or the consequences that it's going to have on the country and how detrimental socialism and totalitarianism has been throughout history. She must be ignorant to that. But do I think that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and the Democratic Socialists of America, even Bernie Sanders, are sitting around and thinking how awesome it's going to be when we're digging graves for the victims of socialism in this country? No, I don't think they think that.

I think that they're wrong. I think that they have bad ideas. I think just like anyone else, if they were enlightened, if they had, you know, reasoned debate and conversation with people that they could change their minds. I don't think that their hearts are bad. I don't think that they're bad people. I just think that they're wrong. And I think if we were able to go back there as a country, Democrats, Republicans alike, if we were able to just say, gosh, the other side has some really bad ideas. But they're not bad people. We're all Americans at the end of the day. Something that's reminded me of that is just seeing the heroism and the camaraderie in the wake of the wildfires happening in California. Now, of course, there's some politicizing about all of that. There's always going to be people that do that. But in general, you've seen a lot of coming togetherness of people that probably have different ways of thinking, live different kinds of lives coming together and just remembering, hey, you and I are both humans and politics really don't matter right now. And someone asked me the other day when I was speaking, what do you think it's going to take for Americans to come together? And as little as I want this to happen, you have to wonder and you really look at the statistics throughout history after a catastrophe like 9-11.

And you have to wonder, is it catastrophe and is it tragedy that is necessary to bringing Americans together? Like, is that what it is or is it going to be like an all-out civil war to where we finally step back and we say, whoa, whoa, whoa, this is not who we are. are, why are we doing this? Why are we acting like barbarians? Do we not have anything in common anymore? I don't know what it's going to take, but you have to think that it's going to take some kind of hitting rock bottom before we realize this is not who we want to be. But I don't know if that's possible. I don't know. It seems like we are so far apart on very fundamental, basic things that it's almost impossible to see how we can come together. And again, that doesn't mean that we can't love each other as humans. But is there any possibility of unification for us to look across the aisle and say, you're my fellow American, I'm proud to be united with you?

I don't know. And this is something that if you heard me speak anytime over the past two weeks, I talked about a lot, it's that our arguments and our disagreements as a country are not more complicated than they used to be. I mean, they are. There are more complicated arguments like about gender, about immigration, about morality, all of these things have become very complex over the past 10 years. Things that used to be very fundamental and basic and accepted by the mainstream are now called

into question. However, those are not the things that are driving us apart. I don't think our policy differences are driving us apart. I don't think our cultural differences are driving us apart. I think that there are basic disagreements that drive us apart. Like, what is truth? Is America a good place to live? Is the Constitution a worthy document to look to? Is work moral and good? Are humans meant to be productive? It's family. I don't remember if I said this one.

It's family essential to a thriving society. Conservatives in general would say yes. Progressives in general would say no. Those are very fundamental disagreements about how we see the world. If we prioritize liberty, if we're on the same page when it comes to, okay, we want men and women to be equal and unencumbered in their own pursuit of happiness. we don't agree on that anymore. We don't agree on at all what equality looks like. We don't agree that every human being has inherent dignity, that they were endowed by their

creator with certain inalienable rights among them being life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It's not just that we don't have or that we have different definitions of those things. It's that some people actually don't believe that. They believe that our rights come from the government and therefore can be given or taken away by them. That is a fundamental, basic disagreement. It's a moral disagreement. It's almost a spiritual disagreement, whether you are religious or not. That's why I worry that our country can't come together. That's why it makes sense to me. When I see someone protesting outside of Tucker's house or the violence that we're seeing, the deadly violence that we're seeing that's motivated by politics, because it's not political. It is moral. It is a spiritual

battle. And I kind of mean that not literally spiritual, but just a deep, profound, emotional battle that we are having as Americans. Our disagreements are very, very foundational, very fundamental. And I'm not saying that Republicans are completely, that we can't take any blame for that. But a lot of it is because of postmodernism, this idea that there is no absolute truth. There are no universal principles. There is no objective morality. it's all just you, the individual or the prison through which everything travels. You determine reality. Everything is subjective. There's no such thing as an overarching narrative of Western culture. All of that has pervaded our school systems and has infected young people and has infected the left. That's why we see the onslaught of totalitarianism, of socialism, even of communism. Of course, socialists would say that they're against communists, but they're very closely related. That's why we're seeing all of these things. we see the abdication or the giving up of personal responsibility in favor of government control and the government taking care of you.

And it's because people have lost their own moral compass. We've lost the ability to agree on the fact that truth exists, that family is good, that the Constitution is a worthy document. That's why we're having all of this chaos. That's why we're having all of this division. And I just don't know how we are going to. to glue all of that back together. I just don't know. I was working on a project where I analyzed one of Ronald Reagan's speeches. I had to write a chapter about this. It was his CPAC speech in 1987.

And gosh, I mean, I always cry when I'm reading something by President Reagan. I don't know. I feel like he's like my long-lost grandfather or something. I just love him so much. But I couldn't help. I mean, he's the greatest inspirational speaker ever. He's, he's the greatest inspirational speaker ever. is so good at instilling confidence and hope even in the midst of despair and chaos. But I was so emotional by the end of his speech that I was watching and reading because he was talking about the, actually this wasn't towards the end, but it was somewhere. He was talking about the end of socialism and how we've realized that socialism has wreaked so much havoc throughout the world and it's been proven.

And now we're moving on. We are embracing a world of freedom. two years after this speech, the Berlin Wall fell, which was really kind of the exclamation point on Reagan's legacy, proof that men and women are meant to be free that the human soul thrives on liberty and flourishes in liberty. And when given the opportunity, they will take the opportunity to work and to be productive and to attach themselves to something bigger than themselves. And he was so optimistic about that. And he was so optimistic about the fact that we had finally proven that those regimes, that socialism, that communism were evil and we were onto something new and something

better. And only 30 years later, 30 years after the speech, are we accepting socialism as good? And again, that's not because we disagree on policy. It's because we have fundamental disagreements about human beings and about truth and about morality and about liberty. we have very basic disagreements that now socialism is not a dirty word, but it's a badge of honor. It's no longer that Scarlet Letter that it used to be, even in the Democratic Party. The idea of giving up our freedom for convenience is very appealing to us. It's appealing to an entire generation. I saw a statistic that only 12% of millennials have any kind of conservative worldview whatsoever.

only 12% of us. That means probably the vast majority of us are at least okay with socialism a little bit. How disappointed would Reagan be to realize that just how forgetful the American people are, how forgetful we are about the evils of totalitarianism and how we have not just allowed it to pervade our system, but we've actually invited it in. Our disagreements are extremely fundamental. And like I said, I don't know exactly how to piece those together or how to, how to fix that. But here's, here are two things that I told people that I was speaking to over the weekend. There are really two things that conservatives can do and particularly Christians can do in the face of all of this tribalism and the face of just ugly identity politics and the, the hatefulness that we are seeing in politics right now. A, love your neighbor, and B, don't stop fighting for truth.

So it's A, love your neighbor, and B, don't stop fighting for truth. A, love your neighbor. That sounds pretty easy. It sounds pretty simple, but it's actually really hard because you have to go out of your way to inconvenience yourself and actually sacrifice yourself on behalf of other people. But this is where we reach past partisan politics. And we love people as if politics really didn't matter. This could mean just be nice to your literal next door neighbor.

It could mean helping them out when they need help. It could mean baking them cookies. Or it could be volunteering at a pro-life center. It could be feeding the homeless for Thanksgiving. Doing all of the things against which there is no law, against which there is going to be no argument that isn't politically motivated but is motivated out of the goodness of your heart. I think that changes our perspective.

One, it makes us more grateful. It makes us more loving, kind. It also reminds us of our. common humanity. And I think that's so important right now. And then also there's a political argument for loving your neighbor from the point of conservatism. See, people always say that progressives like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez are hypocritical for not giving everything they have to the poor, Bernie Sanders, that they're hypocritical for not giving everything they have to the poor. And I say, no, they're not. They're actually not hypocritical because they never argue that it's the

individual's responsibility. They always argue that it's the government's responsibility. So I'm not surprised that they, I don't know if they do or not, but if they don't give to charity, I wouldn't be surprised by that. They don't believe in that. They believe it's the government's job. But it is hypocritical when conservatives don't do it. So the argument for progressives when they argue for programs and big government and things like that, the argument is, if we, if the government doesn't take care of these people, the poor, the old, the marginalized the weak, then who is going to? And the conservatives answer should always be me. I will. I will do it. I will do whatever it takes to help out my fellow man to help out the least of

these. That is our greatest argument for self-governance. That, hey, we don't need bureaucrats to come in and help us because we know that the government never helps without also telling you what to do. The government never helps you without telling you what to do. So our greatest argument, our best case for self-governance is that we don't need the government to take care of us because we are going to do it. We are going to take care of our families. We are going to take care of our communities. We are going to take care of our society the best that we can because we do a better job of not only helping people, but also allowing them to be free. The government is completely unable to do that. The private sector does such a better job of taking care of people than the

government does. And that needs to be our mantra. Loving your neighbor is actually necessary to the argument of conservatism. We cannot sit around and just, say, oh, people need to help themselves. It's better if the individual does it rather than the government and not actually do that. Like, we can talk about how individuals need to help and it doesn't need to be the government. But if we're not willing to help those who need help, then we're really just hypocrites. Progressives aren't? We are the hypocrites.

You can't simultaneously argue for small government and not be willing to pick up the slack because there are people who fall on hard luck. There are people who, through no fault of their own, just, end up in very vulnerable situations. They get sick. They can't pay their medical bills. They lose their job. They get kicked out of the house as a teenager. They don't know what to do. They're raped. They get pregnant. These things actually happen. Sometimes conservatives deny that people just fall into bad circumstances and need help. And there's a place for the government. I believe that the government can offer relief as long as it still incentivizes people to take

responsibility and work. But we need to be the ones to step up to the plate and to help these people when they need it. There is this kind of a weird streak within conservatism. I don't know if it's libertarians or who it is that basically says, oh, no, we don't need to give handouts to people. That's, you know, a form of socialism. No, it's not. No, it's not. We have to help those who need help. We need to be the ones that do it. So love your neighbor, not just for yourself and to see humanity in other people when you've become too cynical like I do very often, but also because conservatism depends on that kind of decency and that kind of compassion. Reagan was so good at emphasizing that conservatism is compassionate. It is the compassionate kind and moral option. But it's not unless we step up to the plate

and do the things that the government can't do well, take care of other people in a way that they can't. And then B was to continue to fight for truth. So I know this is going to sound like I mean that truth is relative and it's not, that's not what I mean. But when I say that there are lots of different kinds of truth, what I mean is that there are a lot of different things that are true. So in fighting for truth, that sounds extremely vague or it sounds very broad. What does it mean to fight for truth? Well, it could mean a lot of different things. It could be fighting for the pro-life cause. It could be fighting for the Second Amendment cause because you believe that it grants true equality and that people have to be free from tyranny in order, or they have to be able to bear arms

in order to be truly free from tyranny. Maybe it is, maybe it is advancing the cause of border security because you know that's better for our communities. Of course, for Christians, it's preaching the gospel, which is really transcendent through everything that we do. There are lots of different things that are true that you can fight for. It could just be being an honest journalist or being someone who is an honest and good doctor. It doesn't have to be anything politics. But fighting for truth, standing up for truth, verbalizing truth, being bold in the face of lies, holding on to the truth is crucial that you are going to get bullied, you are going to get marginalized, you are going to be pushed to the side, silenced, docks, repressed, fired,

whatever, for being a conservative, particularly for being a Christian. And you have to be able to stand up for those things and realize that the lie of the left is that leftism is compassionate. and we know that that's not true and history is on our side. So continue to fight for truth. Now, there's going to be a lot more repercussions for fighting for truth and there is going to be to loving your neighbor. But loving your neighbor and remaining silent in the midst of lies and deception and a wrong ideology that comes from the left, it's not, it doesn't do that much.

It doesn't do that much for our posterity. It certainly doesn't do that much to perpetuate liberty. And you don't have to be some outspoken activist. It could just be in your own life, how you volunteer, what you give your money to, the causes that you are involved in, the things that you know that are true and are beneficial and are beneficial for society, for your family, for posterity. These are the things that are worth fighting for. So love your neighbor and stand up for truth. And I had so many other things to say today. I kind of went off on this long tangent.

I was going to talk about voter fraud in Florida, in Arizona, and all of the stuff that's happening also in Georgia, these elections that haven't been decided yet a week later. But then I just kind of went off on this thing. And I don't really have time for that anymore because you guys have busy lives. So what I want to do, okay, I'll just, I'll just do two things really fast. I want to leave us on a little bit of a happier, on a happier note, because there are good, there are good parts very, very rarely, but good parts to this whole political world. So Dan Crenshaw, representative, I believe he's a representative from Texas. He just won his election. And he was made fun of by Pete Davidson on S&L for the eye patch that he wears, but he was injured in war.

He is a veteran. And he wears an eye patch because he lost his eye in battle. And Pete Davidson made fun of him for that for some weird reason. Of course, this caused a huge ruckus. And well, Pete Davidson and Dan Crenshaw ended up making up on national television. Well, I just wanted to say for people that don't know, the reason you're wearing an eye patch right now

is that you lost your eye to an IED in Afghanistan during your third combat tour. And I'm sorry. Thank you, Pete. I appreciate you saying that. So are we good? We're good.

Apology accepted. And I was just going to let it ring because that's rude to answer. Let's just let it go to voicemail. It's cool. There's a lot of lessons to learn here. Not just that the left and right can still agree on some things, but also this, Americans can forgive one another.

We can remember what brings us together as a country and still see the good in each other. This is Veterans Day weekend, which means that it's a good time for every American to connect with a veteran. Maybe say thanks for your service, but I would actually encourage you to say something else. Tell a veteran, never forget. When you say never forget to a veteran, a veteran, you are implying that as an American, you are in it with them, not separated by some imaginary barrier between civilians and veterans, but connected together as grateful fellow

Americans who will never forget the sacrifices made by veterans past and present and never forget those we lost on 9-11, heroes like Pete's father. So I'll just say, Pete, never forget. Never forget. So I just, I love that. That was such a rare, rare moment. in the world of politics nowadays. Good for Dan Crenshaw for being the bigger person. I mean, I still think that Pete Davidson is a total punk and not funny at all. And I highly doubt this was his idea. But you know what?

Credit words do. Maybe it was good for him. As you heard, he has dad, or I don't know if it was in that clip or not, but his dad died in 9-11. So he does have some kind of attachment to this. You think he would have been more sensitive. but I'm glad they came together. I'm glad they reconciled.

We really need more of that. This is what lowers the temperature. This is what reminds us that we're all human beings, that we are all Americans. And that at the end of the day, that's what matters. We have our disagreements, but we should be able to sit down at the dinner table and say, I love you anyway. Okay. Now, one question, because I feel bad and I said, I told this person I would answer this question.

And then, yeah, I kind of ran out of time, but I'm just going to answer it anyway. So the question that I had, and I'll just paraphrase it, someone asked me how you know, how you know that the person that you're dating is the person that you're supposed to marry. So everyone is going to have different answers for this. So I don't pretend like the answer that I'm going to give you is right for every single person. It's different. I know people who are married who broke up 10 times. I know people who are married who dated for 10 years.

I know people who are married who dated for five months like me. and I know people who had doubts throughout their dating relationship, and then they realized, oh, no, this is totally the right person. He's been right in front of my face this whole time, and I just didn't realize it. So it's different for everyone. I firmly believe that there's no exact formula. Now, I will tell you a little story. I was dating someone in college that I thought that I was going to marry, but I knew that I didn't want to. I knew it. I knew it in my heart and soul, that I did not love this person. And the main thing for me, It's different for everyone.

The main thing for me is that I didn't think he was funny. He just didn't make me laugh. Like, we didn't have the same sense of humor. But he checked all the boxes. He was a great guy. He was a strong Christian. Like, his family was great. And so I just told myself and other people told me, well, you need to get over the

personality thing. Like, you need to get over the humor thing because, you know, he's a good Christian. And you're just supposed to marry a strong Christian. Don't overthink it. It doesn't matter what you feel. Just you don't overthink it. And I was like, okay. Yeah, you're right.

I'm overthinking it. So I convinced myself, I was going to marry this person. Thank the Lord. Literally, thank God that did not work out, that we ended up breaking up. And about a year later, I met my husband. And people had always told me when you know, you know, and I was very confused by that. I was like, what do you mean when you know, you know? There's a million things to think about.

What do you mean that? But I totally did. It was like a week after I met my husband. I knew. I texted one of my best friends and I was like, yep, I'm going to marry him. Hadn't even been on a date yet. We had just been talking at the gym where we met very romantically. I just knew it.

So as a Christian, of course, there are certain criteria that you want. You want someone that's chasing after God. You want someone that is becoming more Christ-like that takes their relationship with God seriously. You want someone who's compatible, of course. This is not a necessarily Christian thing, but you want someone who's compatible with your personality. You want someone that you have fun with that you can talk to that's going to challenge you. And I can't even say what it was exactly about Timothy that I loved. But we just compliment each other so well. And we just could talk for hours and hours. And I thought that he was funny.

He thought I was funny, very important to me. And it just, I just knew. I never doubted. And I never doubted from the very beginning. There was not one time in our dating relationship, not one time in our engagement, not one time in our marriage that I've ever been like, oh, maybe, maybe this wasn't right. So I've always known. So I would just, I would take stock of your doubts if you have doubts. I would think about them and consider them. And here's one thing I would say, no matter what, that's true across the board. Do not convince yourself that you love someone. If you are convincing yourself, you don't. You never, you should not have to convince yourself. or the other person that you are meant to be.

If you have to do that, if you had to convince yourself or convince the other person that you are meant to be, then it's probably not. Now, maybe not. Again, these are not hard and fast rules, but in my experience and what I've seen in other relationships, the whole convincing thing, it just doesn't end well. So that's my advice to you. Again, subjective advice. Take it as what it is.

But I am against this idea that as long as someone is a Christian, you just marry and it will be fine. If I had taken that advice, I truly believe I would be miserable right now. Thank God. Thank God. Thank God. So I think one of the beautiful things about life is that God allows us to be in love, that God allows us to have romantic love. It's not just about, okay, well, he reads his Bible. It's fine. It's like, no, God gave us personalities and compatibility. He gave us the ability to have fun and to really love each other. So remember that. And if you don't have that, If you do not want to be with this person, if you are not excited to be with this person, if you don't get happier, yeah, happier when you're with them, that is probably not right.

Marriage is hard. There's going to be times when you are not happy with that person. If you already feel like that when you're dating, no. Okay, that's my advice for today. I like giving the relationship advice. It's fun. If you have any more, please send the questions my way. Okay, love you guys.

Thanks for listening. I'll be back on Thursday.