Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 540 | A Biblical Take on Santa

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, this is Steve Day. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual, and rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity, and reality itself. On the Steve Day show, we take the news of the day and tested against first principles, faith, truth, and objective reality. We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort.

Starting point is 00:00:19 We ask the hard questions and follow the answers wherever they leave, even when it's unpopular. This is a show for people who want honesty over hype and clarity over chaos. If you're looking for commentary grounded in conviction and unwilling to lie to you about where we are or where we're headed, you can watch this D-Day show right here on Blaze TV or listen wherever you get podcasts. I hope you'll join us. Hey guys, happy Thursday. Welcome to Relatable. I think I said that opposite of what I typically do. I open the show the same way every day. I guess I just wanted to spice it up, change it up today. But today we're going to talk about Santa Claus. This is the last episode before. my team and I are going on a three-week break. You will get two episodes next week and you'll get two episodes the next week. And then the first week of January, we're going to take a break. We might put out a couple replay episodes, but we are going to be taking a little Christmas hiatus, but we are going to make sure that you get four new episodes. We've got two awesome interviews that you guys

Starting point is 00:01:34 are going to love, and the next week we'll do some Christmas-themed episodes that are really fun, but obviously the hope is that you get something serious and substantial out of them as well. And like I said, today is also a Christmas-themed episode. We are talking about Santa Claus. Specifically, I am going to answer the question, should Christians do Santa Claus with their families? Now, I've answered this question before, but I'm going to go a little bit deeper on my response so that this episode doubles as an encouraging and theological Christmas episode,

Starting point is 00:02:11 not just here's why you should agree with me on my opinion on Santa. And let me say before we start that it is okay if we disagree on this. Number one, this is not a salvation issue for Christians. Two, I am a big believer that you are the best parents for your kids, no one else. You know the intricacies of your child's mind, their personality, their needs, and you may find a better way to approach Santa than what I offer you today, and that is totally fine. Also, I understand that I am a relatively new mom. I am not pretending to know everything that has to do with parenthood. I am very thankful for the wisdom of moms and grandmothers that go before me that have

Starting point is 00:02:57 decades upon decades of experience. I am coming at this subject. though, as thoughtfully as I can and hopefully as biblically as I can. And my goal is either to encourage you or potentially challenge you and or to potentially challenge you with a different perspective than maybe the one you have or the one that you grew up with. I think a lot of us have really not thought about this, but I have thought about this a lot in the past couple of years since becoming a mom. So let me summarize first my position and then I will give you my why behind my position. I do not believe it is right to tell our children that Santa is a real person living at the North Pole, making a naughty and nice list, and delivering them presents on

Starting point is 00:03:46 Christmas. Now let me tell you why. And then I will present you with what I think, in my opinion, are better alternatives to that. My first reason for not doing Santa Claus in that way is because I think blind, even and especially to our children, is wrong. I grew up with standard views of Santa. I believed that Santa was real, and I remember that being really fun. I'm not traumatized by that. We would put out cookies and milk, and we would put out food for reindeer, like an apple on the porch or something, and there would be a bite out of it in the morning, and that was really exciting. I would get presents that were from Santa on the tag, and I'm sure that I enjoyed all of that. In fact, I remember enjoying all of that.

Starting point is 00:04:32 I don't think my parents ever used Santa's omniscience to threaten me and to good behavior or anything like that. It was just fun to think that there was this old guy who knew what you wanted for Christmas and was delivering presents on Christmas Eve to think about all the logistics of all of that. That was fun. So all of that seems pretty harmless and it mostly was, except that I distinctly remember being so embarrassed. and angry when I found out that he wasn't real the summer of my sixth year of life. And I found out that early in my life when I was six years old because I have older brothers, 10 and 7 years older than me. And one thing that I heard recently on a podcast that has stuck with me, which is true, is that your family is actually the age of the oldest sibling. And so the younger siblings

Starting point is 00:05:24 end up knowing almost everything the oldest sibling, the oldest sibling knows because they are bringing home their experiences and the things that they learned at school and all of that. And so it's hard to maintain a young child's belief in Santa Claus when they have older siblings that have known for a very long time. My brother was 16, my oldest brother, that Santa Claus is not real. So when I was six, I made a comment to my oldest brother who, like I said, was 16 at the time about the tooth fairy, leaving something behind in my room when she was coming to get one of my lost teeth. And he kind of scoffed at it and said that was silly or something like that. He wasn't being mean. He's a very nice older brother, but, you know, 16-year-olds. I think he just kind of said something offhand. And his reaction, as probably as subtle as it was, did make my little brain start turning its wheels. So I started thinking, why is that silly? Why did he react like that? Why did he react like that? Why did he? laugh at that? Why didn't he think that my story about the tooth fairy was cool? I thought I was making a totally legitimate observation telling him something awesome that happened that the tooth fairy did,

Starting point is 00:06:34 but he was not impressed. Why is that? And then somehow, somehow my six-year-old mind, I started putting these pieces together, and I distinctly remember, so it must have had kind of a significant impact on me. I remember the next day in my backyard asking my mom, point blank, if the tooth fairy was real. And she said, well, no. it's not real. I don't remember exactly what she said. But then the dominoes started to fall in my mind. So if the tooth fairy wasn't real, then what about the Easter bunny? And what about Santa? That's the biggest disappointment of all. And she told me the truth. She said, no, Santa isn't real. And I remember being really mad. I really hated that everyone in my family was in on a secret that I

Starting point is 00:07:21 wasn't and I felt like I had been tricked. And I remember vowing then that I would not lie to my kids about saying, I think I actually said that out loud to my mom. Now, I don't want to be, I don't want it to sound dramatic because like I said, was I traumatized by that experience? No, I don't think so. Do I hold resentment against my parents? Did I hold resentment for years to come after that? No. Did I develop serious trust issues with my parents? No. Did I have a hard time believing in God after that, which we'll get to in a minute. No, I don't remember this being an extremely defining episode in my life, except that I remember not liking the feeling of being lied to. I didn't like that this whole elaborate charade had been constructed to make me believe

Starting point is 00:08:06 something that wasn't true and that I had so naively believed it. And if you're thinking, well, this kind of sounds like an unbelievable reaction and thought process. for a six-year-old. Again, I had older siblings, and so a lot of times when you've got a youngest sibling that has siblings that are way older than them, their thought processes are a little bit more mature because you have learned to think and you've watched some of the same things that your older siblings have. And plus, you can talk to my parents, and they will tell you that I was six going on 26. They've always said that. And part of me has always been old. So I developed self-consciousness, early on, not in the sense that I was insecure, but in the sense that I was always very aware of

Starting point is 00:08:54 myself and cognizant of how I relate to the world around me, which meant that I could get embarrassed easily even as a kid. And to this day, I hate, I don't really get embarrassed anymore. That's something that comes with maturity, but I hate when other people are purposely embarrassed for the sake of laughs, especially when parents tried to embarrass their kids. I really hate that. Now, my parents were not trying to embarrass me when they told me that Santa was real. They also hate public embarrassment and they would never intentionally embarrass me or anyone. Nevertheless, I was embarrassed. And I knew I didn't want to put my kids in that position one day. I actually remember thinking that as probably about to be first grader. So that whole background

Starting point is 00:09:37 probably plays a big role in my stance on Santa. I can't say it's a position at which I arrived exclusively by the study of scripture. It also has to do with my experiences and my personality as well. But there is, of course, a biblical reason not to lie to our kids. Hey, this is Steve Day. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual, and rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity, and reality itself. On the Steve Day show, we take the news of the day and tested against first principles, faith, truth, and objective reality. We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort. We ask the hard questions and follow the answers wherever

Starting point is 00:10:17 they leave, even when it's unpopular. This is a show for people who want honesty over hype and clarity over chaos. If you're looking for commentary grounded in conviction and unwilling to lie to you about where we are or where we're headed, you can watch this T-Day show right here on Blaze TV or listen wherever you get podcasts. I hope you'll join us. As I said, there are biblical reasons not to lie to our kids by saying that Santa Claus is real. Ephesians 425. Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Saying that Santa is a real person is a lie. Now, I understand we don't always tell the truth the whole truth to our kids about things, simply because they're not developmentally ready

Starting point is 00:11:09 to know the full truth about every concept or event that occurs. But avoiding explaining something, they're not ready to know or only letting them in on part of the knowledge of something based on their maturity and the necessity of understanding a particular subject is different than making up a story and making an effort to have them believe it. That is lying. And while I did not develop trust issues that I know of with my parents or question the existence of God because of the revelation that Santa isn't real, I do think that could be an outcome for some children. Every child is different. Just like I didn't like to be on the outside of a secret and be lied to even as a six-year-old. You may have some very curious young kids who do continue on with

Starting point is 00:12:02 the deductive reasoning of, well, if they lied to me about Santa, what else did they lie to me about? That's a distinct possibility, especially if your kid doesn't find out that Santa isn't real until later. There really is no good reason that I can think of to lie to our kids about Santa Claus. There is no reason to suspend the rule that I would assume most households, especially Christian households have, not to lie just for Christmas. It sends, in my opinion, a confusing message to our kids about our trustworthiness and the importance of honesty and could so unnecessary doubt about the existence.

Starting point is 00:12:43 of God because Santa, if you think about it, is almost a perverted version of the God of the Bible, which is reason number two why we won't tell our kids that Santa Claus is real. Because there is a real gift giver who gave a real gift at Christmas, who really does see you when you're sleeping and really does know when you're awake, who really does know what you do and say and think, who really is everywhere at once. and his name is God. Not St. Nicholas. We don't need Father Christmas.

Starting point is 00:13:17 We have God the Father, who gave us the greatest gift we could ever imagine in Christ. James 117. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of Lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. Romans 6.23,

Starting point is 00:13:35 for the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus, are Lord. That a little bit longer passage, Psalm 139, 1 through 12, Oh Lord, you have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up. You discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you knew it all together. You hem me in behind it before and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me. It is high. I cannot attain it. Where shall I go from your spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there. If I make my bed and

Starting point is 00:14:20 shield, you are there. If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me and your right hand shall hold me. If I say, surely the darkness shall cover me and the light about me be night. Even the darkness is not dark to you. The night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you. So Christmas is about a real omnipotent, omniscient, generous, gracious, joyous being, God, who knows and loves all the girls and boys and has prepared for us a real gift

Starting point is 00:14:54 wrapped in swaddling cloths, laying in a manger, and his name is Jesus. For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government shall be upon his shoulder in his name shall be called, wonderful counselor, a mighty God everlasting Father, Prince of Peace, Isaiah 9, 6. If that was enough for the consolation of Israel, enough for the hallelujahs of the angels and the wonder of the shepherds and the worship of the wise men that night in Bethlehem,

Starting point is 00:15:20 then it's enough to bring us and our children joy today. So why offer our children competing narratives? Why present them with a false God in Santa Claus? And that's what he is. when you say that a man who has God-like powers, who is determining your gift share based on what you do, why present them with what amounts to a false gospel that you do nice things to get more toys? Why not instead offer them something so much better, the unconditional love of a heavenly father manifested in a real gift, Jesus Christ, whose second coming we await still with longing and expectation?

Starting point is 00:16:01 Is the gospel not a better and a more mysterious? in a lot of ways and sweeter and more a joy-inducing story than Santa elves and the North Pole. If we present two different meanings of Christmas, one that has to do with the instant gratification of Santa in Toys and one that has to do with a more intangible gift of salvation through Christ, which one do you think will occupy a young child's mind? All of our minds are really bent towards instant gratification, but especially a child who has an even more of a limited capacity to kind of understand, it's kind of complicated and intangible concepts. So we cannot simultaneously pastor our kids about Jesus being the reason for the season while offering so many

Starting point is 00:16:47 other competing reasons for the season that have nothing to do with Jesus. If Christmas is about Christ, about the gospel, and then as an outpouring of that main reason, or really soul reason, as an outpouring of that sole reason, also about joy and love and peace and generosity and fellowship, then we as parents have an obligation and a blessed opportunity to make it about that. Because Lord knows the world is already going to provide them with a million other distractions. We don't have to aid and abet that. Isn't that our job as parents to silence worldly narratives and put our kids on the path of righteousness as best we can by the grace and power of God?

Starting point is 00:17:28 to show what real versus counterfeit joy looks like, to help them marvel at everything that is good and right and true? And if that sounds fuddy-duddy to us, then I wonder if we really understand the splendor and majesty and happiness that comes with Christ and his advent. Now, all of that said, I am not of the mind that Christmas is a pagan holiday that shouldn't be celebrated with trees and light and traditions.

Starting point is 00:17:56 There is grace and goodness to be found. in simple things that bring us joy. These are gifts of common grace, hot chocolate and candy canes and snow and It's a Wonderful Life and stockings are all gifts of common grace, meaning that everyone, not just Christians can enjoy them, that we get to freely enjoy. And they can all be used to glorify God. So the great 19th century pastor Charles Haddon Spurgeon had what I would call a nuanced take on Christmas. And it kind of developed over the years of his life, it seems. like. While he said that there's no biblical reason to turn the Savior's birth into a holiday on the 25th of December, and that's true. There really is no biblical or that much of a historical reason

Starting point is 00:18:41 to do that. There's not a basis in history or in scripture necessarily that we pick specifically the 25th of December for the birthday of Christ. And so he acknowledges this. And he also said that much of the celebration of Christmas had turned into superstition that Christians should not take part in. But he also said this. He said, quote, I wish there were 10 or a dozen Christmas days in the year, for there is work enough in the world and a little more rest would not hurt laboring people. Christmas Day is really a boon to us, particularly as it enables us to assemble around the family hearth and meet our friends once more. He also said this, quote, this is a when all men expect us to be joyous. We compliment each other with the desire that we may have a

Starting point is 00:19:33 merry Christmas. Some Christians who are a little squeamish do not like the word Mary. It is a good, it is a right good old Saxon word. He says, having the joy of childhood and the mirth of manhood in it. It brings before one's mind the old song of the waits and the midnight peel of bells, the holly and the blazing log. I love it for its place in that most tender of all parables. where it is written that when the long-lost prodigal returned to his father safe and sound, they began to be merry. This is the season when we are expected to be happy. And my heart's desire is that in the highest and best sense, you who are believers may be merry.

Starting point is 00:20:16 So it is a time for us to show the joy that should be characteristic of believers year-round. We can celebrate lots of parts of this season while still making every effort to make the gospel, the center, to make Jesus the why behind all that we do, to make the glory of God, the goal, as in all things. And what an opportunity for us to drive home who Jesus is and what he's done for us to our kids without the confusion that the narrative of Santa brings. I think Santa can be a Christmas character. I don't believe it's bad to have a picture of Santa or Rudolph or to watch Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. It's okay to show our kids fiction. I actually think fiction presented as fiction is really important for kids' development, for creativity, for imagination.

Starting point is 00:21:07 I loved fiction growing up. I think it made me a better writer-thinker and communicator. I think you could also, this is an alternative. Talk about the person called St. Nicholas, who was a Greek bishop, his story, his generosity. That's fine. I honestly don't know that much about that story, but I have heard families doing that as an alternative. I simply think that now may be more than ever, probably not more than ever, because it's always been important for Christians to disciple their children well, but especially in just such a confusing time, Christian parents must be bound to the truth, even and especially with our kids. We have a responsibility to bring clarity, not confusion to our children. There's just no time right now for competing

Starting point is 00:21:48 narratives, for false gospels, and for false gods. We want to take every opportunity we can to lay a good, a solid theological foundation for our children. We don't want to take any moment or any holiday or any experience for granted. We don't want to mimic the world in any way. Now, maybe you think this is kind of legalistic, but I would posit that the narrative of Santa putting kids on lists, knowing what they're doing and giving them toys based on those actions, is legalistic. What I am suggesting is actually the opposite of legalism. It is teaching kids about the unconditional love And grace of God found in the Jesus who left his heavenly home, humbled himself as a baby, who died a death on a cross that he didn't have to die for our sake, paying for our sins,

Starting point is 00:22:34 so that we could become friends with our creator, a holy God, have joy and peace in this life and in the next life live forever in heaven with him. That's a better story. That's a better story than Santa Claus. Now, before we get to the reading of one of my favorite hymns at Christmas time, if not my very favorite Christmas, him. I want to answer the question that I get a lot. What do I do about my kids ruining it for other kids at school or ruining it for their cousins?

Starting point is 00:23:08 And I understand you don't want to be that kid. You don't want other parents mad at you or mad at your kid. You don't want your kid to get in trouble at school. But I think it's probably like anything that you teach your kid that is countercultural. They're always going to run into people who don't think the same things they do. And what of the funny, beautiful, precious, admirable, but I know sometimes frustrating parts of children is that they don't have a filter. They are not thinking of how can I present this information to my disagreeing friend with

Starting point is 00:23:43 as much charity and nuance as possible. Like they'll just come out and say, you know, that's not real right? And so I understand that if you're trying to keep your child from doing that. And of course, I think that we can definitely try. We can teach our kids to be considerate. We can have that conversation with them. Now, that's not always easy when they're super young, when they're in that taller stage where they're understanding what you're saying, but they don't necessarily know how to

Starting point is 00:24:13 apply and translate it into action. I understand that can be difficult. but we can only do the best we can. And ultimately, we're not responsible for the beliefs of other kids. And it's true. Like, it's true that Santa isn't real. And so I think we teach our kids the truth. We teach our kids to be loving.

Starting point is 00:24:29 We teach our kids to be kind and considerate. If they're old enough to understand, hey, it's not your responsibility to tell other kids that Santa is not real. That's their mommy and daddy's responsibility. And so you allow them to figure that out on their own. You allow their parents to tell them that it's not your, job. It's not your job to tell your friend or to tell your cousin or, you know, to tell someone that Santa isn't real. So maybe that's the way you go about it. I'm sure that there are parents who have

Starting point is 00:24:57 far more experience than I do that could give us some tips, give us some pointers on that and could tell us how to navigate that. But you can't let that paralyze you. That is not a good reason, in my opinion, to lie to your kids or to give a competing and High Gospel, in my opinion, narrative of Santa Claus being a real person that is watching you and will give you bad things if you act badly. It's just not a good story and the gospel is a better one. Okay, let me read you the lyrics to this wonderful song, Come thou long, expected Jesus. This and Oh Holy Night are two of my favorite Christmas hymns. And really, they could be hymns, of course, year round. They're not exclusive to Christmas, but we typically sing

Starting point is 00:25:48 them at Christmas time. And I just love every line of this. Come thou long expected Jesus, born to set thy people free. From our fears and sins release us. Let us find our rest in thee. Israel's strength and consolation, hope of all the earth thou art, dear desire of every nation, joy of every longing heart. Born thy people to deliver, born a child and yet a king, born to reign in us forever, now thy gracious kingdom bring. By thine own eternal spirit, rule in all our hearts alone, by thine all sufficient merit, raise us to thy glorious throne. Really, that's not even a Christmas Him because we are still, as I said earlier, awaiting Jesus' second coming when he will finally once and for all banish wickedness and rule and perfect peace. Really, that's what Christmas reminds us of

Starting point is 00:26:48 and increases our anticipation for that day even more. All right, I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. We will be back here next week with some pre-recorded episodes that you are going to love. They will be Christmas themed and so it will help you get into the spirit even more. So we will see you back here next week. Hey, this is Steve Deast. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political.

Starting point is 00:27:18 They're moral, spiritual, and rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity, and reality itself. On the Steve Day show, we take the news of the day and tested against first principles, faith, truth, and objective reality. We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort. We ask the hard questions and follow the answers wherever they leave, even when it's unpopular. This is a show for people who want honesty over hype and clarity over chaos. If you're looking for commentary grounded in conviction and unwilling to lie to you about where we are

Starting point is 00:27:45 or where we're headed, you can watch the Steve Day Show right here on Blaze TV or listen wherever you get podcasts. I hope you'll join us. Thank you.

Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 540 | A Biblical Take on Santa

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