Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 577 | Resist Toxic Motherhood & Get Your Kids Off TikTok

Episode Date: March 7, 2022

Today we're covering a couple of topics related to parenting, but first there is a very, very important Bible verse that we need to share with you. Then, we discuss "Toxic Mommy Culture" and how the selfish moms of TikTok see their children and their role as mothers in a negative way, which is, of course, the opposite of what the Bible says about kids and parenting. Whether or not kids can be frustrating sometimes is no excuse for the viral videos we see of parents essentially exploiting kids for clicks. We also talk about TikTok and other social media sites themselves, how they encourage predators and pornography, and how parents need to keep their young kids off social media entirely if they don't want the kids to be exposed to these things. --- Timecodes: (0:00) Introduction (2:28) Allie's strange dreams (26:51) Have children! (28:24) Should your kids be on social media? (spoiler: NO!) --- Today's Sponsors: Annie's Kit Club has 25 different kit clubs, so no matter your age or your interests, you can find the right subscription for you & get your first month of any club for up to 100% off, plus shipping. Go to AnniesKitClubs.com/ALLIE for their best deal ever! Raycon wireless earbuds are the best way to bring audio with you, because no matter how much you shake things up — literally — you know they won't fall out of your ears! Right now, 'Relatable' listeners can save 15% off their order at BuyRaycon.com/ALLIE. My Patriot Supply makes sure your family has enough food to eat in case of severe food shortages. They're America's largest preparedness company & right now you can save $150 off their 3-month emergency food kit, plus get free shipping at PrepareWithAllie.com. --- Past Episodes Mentioned: Ep 344: The Great Reset: Everything You Need to Know | Guest: Justin Haskins https://apple.co/3tFndez Ep 470: BlackRock, Bill Gates & the Great Reset | Guest: Justin Haskins https://apple.co/3HEY09g Ep 548: Social Credit Scores, Joe Biden & the Great Reset | Guest: Justin Haskins https://apple.co/3vMvJeI --- Buy Allie's book, You're Not Enough (& That's Okay): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love: https://alliebethstuckey.com/book Relatable merchandise: https://shop.blazemedia.com/collections/allie-stuckey

Hey, this is Steve Day. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual, and rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity, and reality itself. On the Steve Day show, we take the news of the day and tested against first principles, faith, truth, and objective reality. We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort.

We ask the hard questions and follow the answers wherever they leave, even when it's unpopular. This is a show for people who want honesty over hype and clarity over chaos. If you're looking for commentary grounded in conviction and unwilling to lie to you about where we are or where we're headed, you can watch this D-Day show right here on Blaze TV or listen wherever you get podcasts. I hope you'll join us. Hey, guys, welcome to relatable. Happy Monday. Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. This episode is brought to you by our friends at Good Ranchers American Meat delivered right to your front door.

Get a discount at good ranchers.com slash alley. That's good ranchers.com slash alley. Okay, guys, we're going to talk about. a smorgas board of things today. We're going to talk a little bit about toxic mommy culture, kids on social media, why they really shouldn't be on there. We are also going to talk possibly about the ongoing reaction to what's happening in Ukraine and in Russia and how the messaging is really, really strange. We're going to try to have a nuanced discussion about that. If we don't get to that today, We're going to talk more about that tomorrow.

A lot of you guys have been asking me, how does everything that's going on have to do? What does it have to do with the World Economic Forum and the Great Reset? That thing that some of you may still think is a conspiracy theory, but we have outlined very specifically in detail on this show. How does everything that's going on right now fit into that? Does it fit into that? We are going to answer those questions tomorrow, with our friend Justin Haskins. If you haven't listened to those past episodes,

just type in relatable Great Reset wherever you listen or even watch on YouTube. All of those will come up. I actually just had a conversation with my dad about this on the phone because he is still a skeptic, which I thought that he had listened to all of my episodes, but I guess he skipped some because he wasn't even sure what the Great Reset is

and he was like, come on. Are you serious that you think that this is a thing? And I was like, Dad, you've got. You've got some education that you need to experience if you don't think that this is really going on. I wish it weren't. But we will be talking about it again tomorrow with Justin. And so you have something to look forward to there. Per usual, it'll probably be a long episode.

We might break it in to break it up into two parts. We'll see about that. But first, let's start with what we're going to talk about today. The first thing that I want to talk about has nothing to do with what's going on in the news. It's something that I mentioned on Instagram this morning. And that is the series of strange dreams that I had last night. So most of the time I don't remember the dreams that I had. Those of you, women who have been pregnant before,

you know that when you are pregnant, you typically have vivid dreams. I am not pregnant. I am not pregnant. But I had dreams last night like when I was pregnant. That is such a weird simple. of pregnancy. I guess it's hormonal. You just have these very vivid, strange dreams. One of the dreams that I had was about this basketball player who is, she's a WMBA player and she is currently being

detained by the Russian government allegedly for taking drugs. I have no idea if that's true. I had never heard of this person, but I dreamt about her last night being like in such distress and me trying to go tell people. Like, it was actually a very frightening dream. I saw her and she was like wasting away trying to tell me that, hey, I need some help here. And it was so frightening. I went to people who I don't even know who they are in my dream and I was like screaming at them in my dream trying to tell them, hey, she needs our help. She's like wasting away in this prison cell. It was very strange. And I also dreamt within that dream. It was all strangely connected. You know how dreams are. that flights were being canceled.

I was walking down this road and almost seemed like Halloween, like leaves were falling. And I looked at my weather app. And for some reason, it was like about to snow and rain and all the flights were being canceled. And I was trying to tell my dad that he needed to drive to South Carolina to take a flight. It was all very strange. But within that dream,

I also saw like First Chronicles 511. And I told myself in my dream. So a little bit of inception here. I told myself, oh, I need to remember to look that up. Like, maybe that's significant. First Chronicles 511. So I posted this this morning for you guys because I knew, you know, the Lord must have just been telling me that this is the encouragement that you guys need from First Chronicles 511. And he's obviously, you know, he's speaking through me to you guys. So this is the word that I have for you this morning that was revealed to me so vividly in my dream. The sons of Gad lived over against them in the land of fashion as far as Salica.

There you go. I don't know if you knew that you needed that this morning, but the Lord revealed that to me. A special word from the Lord in my dream. Now, I could see that in a beautiful display above your dining room table. I could see that kind of just being the theme verse for your family or at least for this week. I think it would look really great as an ankle tattoo. It's just something to consider. This is free of charge just for you.

You're welcome. Encouragement from the Lord, the sons of Gad, lived over against them in the land of Bashan as far as Salica. That was the verse that I saw in my dream last night. I have no idea what it had to do with anything. But I just wanted to share that with you. And I think maybe I've asked this of you guys before. where I couldn't actually remember, but I want to know the strangest dream you've ever had.

I've had a lot of strange dreams. I remember a dream that I had when I was little that I was like stuck in a video game and I couldn't get out. It was very Jamongy-like. I think I had just seen Jamongy, which is one of the like scariest movies that has ever been made. And I had a dream that I was like stuck in this video game. And I was trying to tell my mom that I was stuck in the video game and I could see her in

her closet and I could not communicate to her. That was probably the scariest, one of the scariest dreams that I've ever had. And I still remember it. And I was like nine years old. But I want to hear if you have had like a very strange, complex, intricate dream. My mom also has like the most vivid dreams. And she always remembers them. She told me about a dream that she was having or that she had the other night the next day.

And she was literally crying, laughing. And so was I telling me about this strange dream. But I want to hear your strange dream. and I want to laugh at them. So call 682-503-1369. That's 682-503-1369. And we will play a few of them on an episode sometime this week or next week. I want to hear, try to make them as concise as possible.

So if you need to rehearse or you need to write it down just to make sure that you tell us the good stuff, do that. Because we do have like a limited time that we can actually record and then listen to. your dream. So 6, 8, 8, 2, 503, 1369, tell me your strange, vivid, crazy dream. I want to hear it. I love laughing at people's dreams. Okay, I just wanted to share that with you. Hope that you got encouragement from First Chronicles 511, the encouragement that you did not know that you need, but there you go. Let's talk a little bit about toxic mommy culture. Speaking of things that I was discussing on Instagram over the weekend, I want to discuss this based on a video. that you guys shared with me and then I shared.

Hey, this is Steve Day. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual, and rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity, and reality itself. On the Steve Day show, we take the news of the day

and tested against first principles, faith, truth, and objective reality. We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort. We ask the hard questions and follow the answers wherever they leave, even when it's unpopular. This is a show for people who want honesty over hype and clarity over chaos. If you're looking for commentary grounded in conviction and unwilling to lie to you about where we are or where we're headed,

you can watch this T-Day show right here on Blaze TV or listen wherever you get podcasts. I hope you'll join us. We were just talking in that little break that maybe the First Chronicles 511 could replace the live, laugh, love signs in Hobby Lobby, or that as for me in my house, we serve the Lord. think that First Chronicles 511 is a great contender for that. Consider it. Maybe even a better Jeremiah 29.11. I know the plans I have for you to prosper you and not to harm you. Consider replacing those verses with this verse or maybe this is your life verse that you put in your in your bio. All considerations, I'm just here to help. All right. Toxic mommy culture. You guys saw this video. I posted about it

couple times. But in case you missed it, let me play this video that kind of went viral on TikTok and then on Instagram. All right. So if you couldn't see that because you're listening rather than watching on YouTube, it was a mom like serving her little three-year-old child's chicken nuggets. And if you are a mom, you know that sometimes these chicken nuggets come in letters. And she wrote in the letters. I mean, you had to take a lot of time to do this. You piss me off. And she was serving this meal to her three-year-old daughter, who is absolutely precious. Her daughter is super excited to get her chicken nuggets. She obviously can't read. She doesn't know what it says. She just, she just has pure excitement on her face about her mom making this meal.

And her mom is filming it. And she posted it to TikTok because she thought that it was funny. And when I saw this, I truly felt, maybe you think this sounds dramatic, but I truly felt like I was punched in the gut. It made me so sad. Just the contradiction or just the strange parallel between the obvious resentment and anger and bitterness of this mother and the excitement and the ignorance of this child about what's going on. This little child has no idea that she is actually being exploited. And I guess the frustration that her mother is having toward her is being exploited for clicks and for views and for likes. And this child, just like all children, can't consent to having her face on social media, can't consent to having, I guess, what amounts to bad behavior

that is frustrating her mother on social media. And I wonder if her mother is even considering, is this best for my child? Is this something that it's going to edify her when she grows up and she sees this? It's something that's going to hurt her feelings. And unfortunately, a lot of the comments on this Instagram page and this Instagram post that reposted this from TikTok were saying how hilarious this was, how they would do this for their child if they had a child, how they're going to do this to their child, how they think that this is so funny and so entertaining and anyone that has a problem with this

just needs to lighten up. All right. Or maybe it is exploiting the difficult moments of motherhood for a very superficial affirmation and because of that is immoral. I hate toxic mommy culture. Toxic mommy culture is a phrase that we came up with, Unrelatable, and I wrote about in my book that describes this kind of wine culture in motherhood that is especially displayed online. line that presents motherhood is something that women are a victim of, something that women are enslaved to, and kids as brats and burdens. And it comes across in these kind of joking videos that, ha ha, this is not that big of a deal. I'm just joking. Of course, I love my kids, but the fact of the

matter is these posts seem to say is that, you know, they're really, they're just really bad sometimes. You'll even see some posts calling kids all kinds of very vulgar names like a-holes. Like, oh, people will say that their toddler is just an a-hole. I've seen some other terrible names that are used to describe kids when they're behaving badly. And this is all just supposed to create some kind of camaraderie online with other parents who are struggling. This is all just supposed to be ha-ha, so funny. I really don't find it funny. I find it extremely toxic.

And there are a few reasons for that. The first reason is the one that I already listed because a child cannot consent to having their image online, number one, but also having their tough moments and their difficulties as a child and conflict with their parents being displayed online. Like, would you like someone? If you want to talk about treating someone how you want to be treated, would you like someone to exploit your most difficult moments or maybe some of your bad qualities online? without your consent, without you knowing, and you trust this person to seek your best interest, you trust this person to protect you, you trust the person to do what is best for you. And behind your back, without your knowledge, without your consent, they're actually putting your image in your tough moments online. Do you think that that's a good thing? Would you appreciate

that? Do you think that's something that benefits you in your life and your self-image when you grow up? Isn't it so interesting? That in the age of self-love, preaching self-love to our kids that some of the same parents, I think that there's significant crossover here, some of the same parents that preach the most about the importance of self-love are actually putting this negative display about their kids and about parenthood online. One day their kids will see it. The internet lives forever, especially these videos that go viral. The kids will see it.

Is that going to add to their positive self-image and their confidence or take away from that? But it doesn't seem like these parents who post things like that really care. They just want the laughs. They want the affirmation themselves. They want the clicks. They want the likes. Just like all of us, they get that dopamine hit when they see that something they posted goes viral or that people are reacting in a positive way to it. And they don't seem to care about how their child would react if they did know about it or how this will help them or just in general if this is moral.

I think it's immoral for the reason that I just listed that kids can't consent to all of it, that it's just plain mean. It's just plain mean. And it's exploiting their difficult moments and exploiting them. The second reason why you think that this is wrong and immoral is because it contributes to a culture that sees children in general as a burden. And I think that it does contribute to the attitudes that then justify and normalize abortion. If everyone is looking to moms and what they demonstrate and what they display on social media to get a picture of what motherhood looks like, And the picture that is painted for these non-parents is that parenthood sucks, that you never have any time for yourself, that it's just, it's a, it's a drain on you, that it's constantly having to sacrifice the things that you don't want to sacrifice. It's a thing that you are a victim of.

And your kids are these just, like, horrible little people that you don't ever want to hang out with. But you kind of have to admit, you feel obligated to admit. yeah, sure, that you still love them? Is that painting a positive picture of parenthood where people are going to want to engage in that? I don't think so. I think people are going to see that and they're going to want to further indulge the innate selfishness and self-serving nature that all of us have. So I think it contributes to the abortion epidemic in an indirect way. It creates a culture in which kids are seen as brats and burdens rather than the blessings that they are. Now, we can understand, unfortunately, why the secular world would act like this, because they don't have

the same view in general as Christians should when it comes to what children are, although I think that there are plenty of non-Christians who see the toxicity in this kind of behavior online. But Christians, especially, when I see Christians try to brush this off as this is no big deal, you just need to lighten up, you just need to laugh about it, or even engaged in it. in it themselves, posting about how terrible their kids are and how terrible motherhood is. That just tells me, like, that is a faith issue. That's a heart issue. That's not me trying to be judgmental in the sense that I am self-righteously condemning you.

We've all been in different places in our faith where we've made mistakes and we've gotten things wrong. This would be something that you're getting wrong. If you're engaging in this type of toxic mommy culture where you are complaining about your kids publicly you are exploiting them for clicks and laughs that is absolutely simple there is nowhere in the bible that speaks about children as anything other than a blessing of god's provision so i do want to caveat all of this by saying that toxic mommy culture and being honestly vulnerable about the struggles of motherhood are two totally different things the former is exclusively used to tear down

the latter can be used to build up. So talking about how hard motherhood is, talking about how tired you are because you are being pulled in a million different directions and you're trying to keep it all together and be a good mom and be a good wife and do the work that you're causing you. And all of this and all of this, that is just honesty. That is transparency.

That is needed. I do think that showing that, even in certain ways publicly, I don't think that we are obligated to spell everything online. But in some ways, showing that stuff publicly can be edifying as long as you say, this is hard, but I'm relying on the Lord for my strength. This is hard, but the Lord is calling me to it, and so it's incredibly worth it. This is hard, but man, I understand that there are millions of people around the world

who want to be parents so badly. And I have this blessing of waking up in the middle of the night with my kids. I have this blessing of being stressed because my kids need me. I have this blessing of homeschooler. You know, I have kids that I have to feed. And I understand that that is actually a wonderful thing to be stressed about. So I think that sharing the hard parts of motherhood and following it up with, but you absolutely have the tools and the equipment to push through because the Lord is here

to give you those tools and equipment and strength to sustain you. that is absolutely used as edification. Even better, though, than talking about that on social media, I think is sharing all of that with people who really love you, who know you, who kind of see your day-to-day. That's something that I think we all desperately need. I am not perfectly engaged in that kind of vulnerability on a daily basis. That's for sure. But I think that can absolutely be used to build up because that's not only going to build you up. that's not only going to give you encouragement, whereas toxic mommy culture depletes, I think, that positive and authentic mommy culture within the context of true community, it doesn't deplete you. It builds you up. It fills you up. And that is going to, in turn, positively affect your marriage,

and it's positively going to affect your children. and toxic mommy culture only does the opposite. It feeds you this feeling of entitlement, that you are entitled to find yourself in an identity that is other than a wife and a mom. And I think that is going to simply lead you into an acceptance and a justification of narcissism. And you are going to call it self-care and self-love,

but really what it will turn into is just feeding into. your feelings of entitlement and bitterness. I saw this great post the other day. I did not come up with this phrase, but it's sad. Your kids are not making you crazy. They're showing you your sin. That's tough.

That is so true. The anger sometimes that we feel towards our children, that bitterness, that resentment, that feeling of entitlement that I deserve this time. I deserve X, Y, Z. That is not our children or our husband causing us to feel that way. All of that stuff already existed in our heart. It's the difficulty, just like any difficulty, just like any stressful situation that is bringing that to the surface. I'm not saying

that kids aren't genuinely frustrating or that marriage isn't genuinely hard or that these, that you don't actually need rest and, you know, rejuvenation. I think that all of that is true and needed. Yes, absolutely. But the sinful reactions that we have in those kind of stressful situations and in the midst of that difficulty, that's indicative of sin that is already there. It's not sin that is created or caused by other people. It's already there in stressful moments with our kids, just like stressful moments in any situation, is when we get the choice. Okay, are we going to give into our flesh by acting in an entitled and selfish and impatient way? Or am I going to choose to submit my thoughts and my words to Christ and react in a way that is glorifying to him.

The second option is only available through the power of the Holy Spirit. That's the difference between people who engage in toxic mommy culture and people who engage in biblical positive mommy culture is the Holy Spirit. It's not that we're inherently better. It is that God gives us the strength to not only mother well, but also to talk about motherhood in the hard parts of motherhood in a positive way. So toxic mommy culture, we don't need to engage in it. It's like the worst of the worst. We talk a lot about, you know, fatherlessness, daddy issues, the problems with bad dads and the consequence that that has on

families and society. I think that's a great thing to talk about because it is very consequential. Not enough airtime, though, is given to toxic mommy culture and the effect that toxic moms can have on kids and can have on societies, not just absentee mothers, but selfish mothers, projecting mothers, mothers who feel constantly entitled to make their kids feel like rats and burdens. Toxic mommy culture, I guarantee you, has a very widespread effect on communities and on societies in general. But the feminization, the grand feminization, I think, of our culture kind of sweeps that under the rug. And it seems like people don't ever want to say that a mom can do wrong. and only talk about the dereliction of duty of dads,

but the reality is, is that toxic moms, there are a lot of ramifications that come with toxic mommyhood, as we've just discussed. All right. Okay, speaking of motherhood and kids, motherhood is awesome, by the way. Like, if you don't have kids, you're considering having kids, like, you should definitely do it.

We talk about this a lot on this show, because there's an understandable fear of having kids in this day and age. I mean, there's a lot going on. There's a lot of scary things going on. But the thing that we need most are kind and wise and bold and brave kids that grow up into kind and wise and bold and brave and godly, Christ-like, loving adults. That's what our society needs. If you want to make an investment in the future, if you want to continue, if you want to contribute to all of it is good and right and true, have children, just for the sake of having

and loving children, but of course, also for the sake of raising them, training them in the way they should go. You will never know a love like having children. It is difficult to explain. It's difficult to put into words. It really is like having your heart walk around outside your body. You want so badly to protect them from everything, but knowing that that's not not how they're going to grow. It is the most difficult and wonderful and challenging thing. So if you have been waiting for someone to tell you, oh, should I have kids? Should I not? Ali Bestucky is telling you, if you are married, to go ahead and have those kids and raise them in a godly way. You can do this. And God is going to equip you and protect you and protect them.

And you've got this. It's fine. All right. Let's talk about speaking of protecting our children. I just want to talk about social media really quickly. Because I saw this video. I shared it on Instagram. think the account is life according to Lisa. She's got several kids. One of her kids, apparently is in the NFL. I don't follow this account, so I don't really know anything about it. But someone shared this Instagram live that she did. And she told a story about how her daughter, I believe her daughter is 13, was talking to someone online that she thought was just a friend, but ended up being this predator who was posing not just as one person, but as several people and had really like sucked her into this online world.

And long story short, her mom figured it out. This is a guy who apparently like teaches fifth grade. And so he is an adult praying on these young children. And we've talked about, we've alluded to this several times. I am going to have a guest on at some point to really talk about the statistics around predators online, how these predators are praying upon children through various social media apps. the tools parents can use to try to protect their kids from this. The fact of the matter is the more I hear about this and the more I hear these stories

and I hear these stories over and over again from parents, I see these Instagram lives. And I don't have preteens or teenagers yet. So I am not pretending to know how difficult it is to tell your child, hey, you can't be on social media. You can't have a smartphone even though all of your other friends do. So I can't say that I empathize with you parents who are having those tough conversations. but I do talk to enough parents of kids that age. I know enough parents in that category.

I have seen enough of these stories on social media of parents of kids in that age range to know that really it seems like. And I probably will get some pushback here, but that's fine. I can take it. I have heard enough wisdom from people in this group to say that really the only way to protect your kids in addition to talking to them about these days. in addition to showing them what is good and right and true and trying to train them as best you can and equip them and show them all of the warning signs and all of that all of that is important to build that foundation and so they know what sin is they know what right and wrong is they know to trust you

versus you know not trusting a stranger online all of that is important unfortunately though their little minds just aren't mature enough they do not have the capacity they don't have the fortitude and the strength to resist all of the temptations that suck them in on social media. You can have a great kid, a godly kid, a kid that knows right and wrong that has been trained in every way. And still, when they are approached by someone online, you've got a young girl say that she has Instagram or she's got TikTok or something. You've got a 14-year-old girl who is approached by someone who says that they're beautiful, who says that they love their videos, that they should start talking, that they should meet up, that he needs her information.

And he starts telling this little insecure teenager who is, you know, this little teenage girl, maybe she's been taught everything that she, you know, needs to be taught by her godly parents. But she is in such a susceptible, vulnerable position as, you know, a young girl. Every young girl wants to be told that she's pretty. Every young girl wants to be accepted. Every young girl wants to be affirmed. We're all battling insecurities at that age. You know, you can have a wonderful dad who tells you that you're beautiful every day.

It's different when you, when someone tells you that who you think is an actual love interest or who is a boy your age. And so these predators, they will pose as kids their age, as teenagers, their age or maybe a little bit older than them online. And they're masters that exploit me these kids and their emotions. They know what to say to a young girl who is insecure. They know how to reel them in. They know how to start playing upon their emotions. They know how to divide them from their parents and from their family and even from their faith.

I am not just thinking about this hypothetically right now. I am thinking about stories that I have heard from parents about their kids. I'm talking about parents in the church who this has happened to their kids. And so their little minds, as great of a parent as you might be, as great of a kid as they might be, their little minds are not able yet to resist this kind of thing. They're not able yet to resist this kind of predation. The temptation that they may have from predators who are, you know, posing as young people online. That's one thing.

But then you've also got their peers who are convincing them to send revealing pictures on Snapchat. Maybe they're saying, oh, you know, don't worry, it's Snapchat. It'll just disappear. And then the next thing you know, Johnny on the football team has screenshoted this revealing picture. of this 15-year-old girl and now it's circulating around to his friends. Like, I don't think we even know as I'm not on TikTok. I'm not on Snapchat. I don't know all of the ins and outs of social media anymore.

You get real old, real fast. But from what I've heard, there are so many different strategies and avenues and ways that predators, either peer predators or older predators posing as younger people, used to, exploit young girls and I'm sure young boys as well and there are a million different ways that this happens and unfortunately so many times parents don't even know that it's happening so because of that because you can do everything right and teaching your kids in a positive way and still they can get sucked into this stuff online I think that the only option I know that it took me a long time to circle to hear it but the only option is to remove our kids from those platforms in my opinion I know

that I'm just one person and, you know, you can take that, you can take this for what you will, in my opinion, until they're adults, until they're 18 years old. I do not think, and I strongly believe this with everything that I know about these platforms. I don't believe that any minor should be on TikTok. I don't believe that any minor should be on Instagram. I really don't believe any minor should be on any social media. I don't think that they should have smartphones. I read this terrible article the other day that this mom thought that just giving her son a smart watch, he was young, I think maybe 11 years old just so that he could communicate with her, you know, when he was ready to be picked up from school. She found out that he was actually watching pornography on this Apple Watch.

So it's not an option. It's not about, you know, I heard someone said, someone, you know, said on Twitter to me, you know, we can't just block our kids from the world. We can't just take away all of these things. They need these things for their friends. We don't want to alienate them, but we don't want them to feel excluded by their friends, you know, that's equally as harmful to them as the things that they could access on social media. So we just have to, you know, teach them the dangers. No, no, you don't put your kids on the front line when they're not even big enough to hold a shield yet. They're not big enough for that. Like, their mind isn't equipped for that. That is why God gave them parents, because they do not have a developed frontal lobe to say, hey, this is bad. And then to throw them into the

bad. I don't think that's a good parenting strategy. I just don't. I'm sorry. I'm not saying that I have it all down or that I know everything. I'm just saying if you're older than me, if you're 10 years older than me, I probably know more about these social media apps than you do. I'm not saying that I know everything that goes along with parenting kids your age, but I probably know a little bit more about the dangers of this technology than you do. If you're 10 years younger than me, you probably know more about the dangers of this technology than I do. I'm just saying from everything that I know, I don't think that there is any good reason for your minor to be on social media.

I really don't. You could try to justify it in some way, but you would be really hard pressed to make the case that this is the best thing for your kid. You could try to make the case that, you know, this isn't that harmful. You could say, I have my kids' passwords. I always check my kids' phones. you know, I have such and such software to where I know what they're doing. Again, from all the testimonies that I've seen of parents, they've had those boundaries to.

They thought that they knew. They would check their kid's phone every night. What was their kid doing? Their kid was deleting the app before they handed it to their kid. And so their parents have no way to even access whether or not they're talking to someone on the app because kids are smart. Kids are sneaky too. And kids are more technologically savvy a lot of times than parents are.

That's just normal. That's something every generation in one way or another has dealt with. Now it's just more difficult than ever. Whereas maybe previous generations had to worry about, I don't know, some creepy guy actually showing up at their front door. But at least you would be able to say, no, creepy guy. You're not coming into our house and we're going to call the police. Now we don't even realize, parents don't even realize,

that they have maybe 50 creepy men that are in their house through their daughter's smartphone and through these apps that they think they have control over. But really they don't. Kids are creating fake accounts on their social media. So even if you think you follow your kid on Instagram and you know everything they're posting, they could have a secret account that you know nothing about. I mean, kids for all of time have found lots of ways to hide things from their parents. And now it's just more possible and more dangerous than ever.

So this is my plea to you as someone who is admitting that I don't know everything about parenthood. I don't know everything about technology. I don't know everything about apps. But I have seen too many stories from too many great, well-meaning, godly parents who have thought that they were doing everything possible while still allowing their kid to have a smartphone, while still allowing their kid to have a computer in their room, still allowing their kid to have some access to these apps. That the only thing that I have seen that has actually protected. them in any substantial way, these kids from these predators and pornography. Huge problem. And, you know, all, we're not even talking about the different kinds of self-image issues

that social media, especially causes for girls and the filters and all of that. The only thing that I've seen actually protect, at least as well as they can, is taking your kid off of or not allowing your kid to have access to these applications at all, not allowing your kid to have technology without your direct supervision, not allowing your kid to have an iPad, not allowing your kid to have a smartphone. There are options. I'm pretty sure that Gab is a company that has different kinds of devices that doesn't have access to the internet that if you need to call your kid. And look, I understand you're thinking my kid is 17. They're too old. They've had an iPhone for four years. years, there's no way they're going to allow me to take it away. Well, I want you to think about that thought. Your kid doesn't allow you or disallow you to do anything. You are still the parent. And I'm just speaking to you from someone who I just remember vividly being a teenager. And I'm so, gosh, I'm so thankful that I didn't have access to this stuff when I was a teen because I would have totally been ripe for some of the stuff, not just the self-image issues, but if someone would have

told me, you know, wow, you're so pretty. You're so. so great. Maybe, you know, we should start dating. You don't know me, but I understand you better than anyone else understands you. All girls think that they are misunderstood and that they're special and that they're unique. And if you're reading the trashy teen fiction that I was reading like Twilight and someone comes across and I'm like, wow, I'm going to love you like Edward loves Bella, then yeah, you're going to be susceptible to that kind of stuff. So I'm speaking to you from that perspective and again from the perspective as someone who has heard too many painful stories of this your kid is getting sucked into porn your daughter your son they're getting sucked into the game

of comparison which yes is inevitable in some ways they could be being preyed upon we have no idea what this kid is accessing and their brain isn't ready for it and as their parent it is your job to protect them and to steward them so this is the opposite of toxic mommy culture this is hopefully biblical motherhood, parenthood culture in which we protect our kids as much as possible. Now, can we protect them, period? Probably not. I mean, technology exists. Social media exists.

And so they go over to someone else's house. School, unfortunately, kids are going to have iPhones and you don't know what they're going to be watching after school. Now, of course, you try to lay ground rules and you try to talk to them about this kind of stuff. I think when kids go over to parents' houses, you have to say, look, this is our rule as far as technology. Can we agree that we are going to both enforce these rules together that we're on the same page? And there's going to be restrictions around, you know, what house your kid is allowed to go to based on whether or not the parents are willing to partner with you in enforcing those rules.

But, you know, things happen. There are older siblings. Every family is as old as the oldest sibling. So the youngest sibling and their friends are going to see and know the things that the oldest sibling in a family does things you have to think about. We can't shield our kids from everything forever. That is absolutely true. We do simply have to equip them. But also while we can, while they're in our household, we do have to protect their eyes and their minds from things that they are just not able to process in a healthy way.

This idea of we're going to allow our kids to be exposed. to everything and just hope that they have the equipment that we've done the best job that they can that we can to help them be able to process that stuff. I'm sorry, that all flies out the window when your kid is looking at pornography and when they're being preyed upon. Their minds don't have the capability yet to be able to resist that stuff or be able to process it in a healthy way. So yes, I know all of parenting, even like when they're little, but in a different way is this balance of protection. allowing them to figure things out on their own so that they can grow.

But we don't want to mess around with the dangers of social media and technology. By the way, if your kid is on Roblox, which I think it's like some Lego type, like virtual thing, any kind of virtual reality, there's going to be problems with it. But this particular game is apparently marketed to like kids as young as six. Well, it's been documented that there is gang rape on this show. there's sexual harassment and sexual assault that's happening. There is, again, older people that are using this particular game to prey upon the young kids who are playing it. Same thing, the same potential with video games. Again, any type of virtual reality where there's this,

there's some kind of chat feature. To me, it's just not worth it. And to the person who says, well, the social alienation, the feeling like they're left out or feeling like they're getting made fun of because they don't have these apps or they don't have the same technology as just as bad. It's not just as bad as your 11-year-old kid getting addicted to porn or your 14-year-old daughter talking to a predator. It is not just as bad. Social alienation, I understand, is hard. Bullying is difficult. Being excluded is difficult. But look, like, this is also the life of the Christian. The life of the Christian has always been, for the history of the church, to a certain level social exclusion. I'm not saying that's easy. Gosh, I can just imagine how incredibly difficult

that is as a parent. But it's a matter of priorities. And again, as someone who has seen these stories too many times, it just breaks my heart. I just want to beg you to get your kids off of social media and off of this kind of technology. It's not good for them. Tell them to go outside and read a book. Okay, guys, as I said at the beginning of the episode tomorrow, we will be talking about the Great Reset and how everything that's going on is potentially fitting into that. How is the Great Reset going? What does the World Economic Forum think about all of this stuff? We will be talking about it tomorrow.

We've got a lot of good shows coming down the pipeline this week. If you love the show, please leave us a five-star review wherever you listen and subscribe on YouTube as well. Thanks so much for tuning in. We will see you guys back here tomorrow. Hey, this is Steve Day. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual, and rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity, and reality itself. On the Steve Day show, we take the

news of the day and tested against first principles, faith, truth, and objective reality. We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort. We ask the hard questions and follow the answers wherever they leave, even when it's unpopular. This is a show for people who want honesty over hype and clarity over chaos. If you're looking for commentary, grounded in conviction and unwilling to lie to you about where we are or where we're headed. You can watch this D-Day show right here on Blaze TV or listen wherever you get podcasts. I hope you'll join us.