Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 631 | Allie's Dad On the Economy, Fatherhood & Raising Christian Kids | Guest: Ron Simmons

Episode Date: June 16, 2022

Today we welcome a very special guest back to the show: Ron Simmons, aka Allie's dad. We have a family-themed episode ahead of Father's Day, but first, we talk a little bit about the state of the economy and America in general. Ron gives his take on why inflation is so out of control and why gas and other necessities are so expensive right now. Then, we talk about Ron's past and how he himself was able to overcome financial hardship in the 80s to end up with his family and a successful business. We discuss the importance of fatherhood and intact families and how to deal with strong-willed kids. At the end of the show, Ron talks about the future of the country and why be believes that things absolutely will get better in America. --- Today's Sponsors: EdenPURE — 3 Thunderstorm Air Purifiers for under $200 at EdenPureDeals.com. Use discount code 'ALLIE' to save $200! Carly Jean Los Angeles — visit CarlyJeanLosAngeles.com & use promo code 'ALLIEB' to save 20% off your first order! Reliefband — save 20% off plus free shipping at Reliefband.com when you use promo code 'ALLIE'! Good Ranchers — right now, get 2 free 18-oz prime, center-cut ribeyes to every order using the promo code 'ALLIE' at checkout! Go now to GoodRanchers.com/ALLIE to start the summer right! --- Buy Allie's book, You're Not Enough (& That's Okay): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love: https://alliebethstuckey.com/book Relatable merchandise- use promo code 'ALLIE10' for a discount: https://shop.blazemedia.com/collections/allie-stuckey

Hey, this is Steve Day. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual, and rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity, and reality itself. On the Steve Day show, we take the news of the day and tested against first principles, faith, truth, and objective reality. We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort.

We ask the hard questions and follow the answers wherever they leave, even when it's unpopular. This is a show for people who want honesty over hype and clarity over chaos. If you're looking for commentary grounded in conviction and unwilling to lie to you about where we are or where we're headed, you can watch this D-Day show right here on Blaze TV or listen wherever you get podcasts. I hope you'll join us. Hey guys, welcome to Relatable. Happy Thursday. This episode is brought to you by Good Ranchers. That's American Meat delivered right to your front door.

Go to Good Ranchers.com slash Alley. That's good ranchers.com slash alley. Okay. Welcome to our special Father's Day edition episode. I'm going to be talking to none other than my dad. We are going to be talking about fatherhood what it was like raising me because you guys told me on Instagram that you are curious about that. It is a sweet and even at times emotional conversation for both of us. We're going to be talking about what it's like to raise a strong-willed child and how relationships with your children can change over time,

how the Lord can restore and repair relationships that may seem broken by his grace and through prayer and through a lot of work. But at the beginning of the conversation, I'm going to get him to break down some political and economic issues. It's basically going to be like you're listening into the conversations that we have on a weekly basis because I am always picking up my phone and saying, okay, dad, Biden did this. What does this mean? Or why is this happening? Can you explain this to me, he's always so quick to be able to break it down in a way that we understand. And I thought that you guys would be able to benefit from that too. So we'll talk about inflation. We'll talk about gas prices. We'll also just hear his take on the state of the country and where he thinks this is all

going and why he has hope for America. He is always much more optimistic than I am, which is another reason why I'm calling him as often as I am. So I don't spiral into this whole of cynicism and thinking that everything is just always going to go to hell in a handbasket. So he's very positive in that way. He's also very practical and helpful. He's going to give some even some financial tips for you and your family as we're facing a lot of struggle when it comes to inflation and high prices and all of that. So we'll get into that conversation before we do. Let me just show you, since I haven't in front of me, some new merch items. I told you guys that we would be getting new merch items and here they are. So we've got, you guys already know, I've got T-shirts that say politics matter because policy

matters because people matter. I've got razor respectful ruckus. I've also got millennials against low-rise jeans and I've got some other relatable t-shirts. And then we also have these awesome stickers. I've got the millennials against low-rise jeans if you are watching on YouTube. And then I've also got the be a salmon. That's something that we say swimming upstream. Everyone is going one direction. We are relatable, believe, going in the opposite direction of where mainstream culture is trying to take us. So I've got the cute be a salmon stickers. These are also like really good quality stickers. They're unique. Like the edge around them isn't completely straight. I know that might seem like it doesn't matter, but it does. They're super cute. Our design team here does a great job.

But today, I've got new stuff. I've got hats. So I've got the politics matter because policy matters because people matter. Hat. It's pink and white. There might be some different colors. If you're watching on YouTube, I'm trying this on for you. And then we've also got the, we've also got the razor respectful ruckus. Cute. Ooh, I like the Navy. Navy. Navy. and white, very cute. And then we've also got, this is another one of my favorite, this is green. It's got just like the relatable R on it. Super cute. Love it. And then I've got the share the arrows. That's another thing that we say when someone stands up, uses courage to stand up for something that is unpopular rather than cowering in the corner and saying, oh, I'm glad that I'm not the one

getting canceled or bullied. You share the arrows and you stand up with them. Now I've got hat hair. And then we've also got, this is my favorite color, this light blue hat that says relatable. So we've got a lot of cute options for you. We've got the link to our merchandise in the description of this episode, whether you are listening or whether you are watching on YouTube. So you can check it all out. This is like a really good present as well. If, you know, your wife, your girlfriend, your sister, your friend, or yourself, you're wanting some of this merch, then this is just a really great way to treat them. or to treat yourself.

So make sure that you check all of that out. Hey, this is Steve Day. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual, and rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity, and reality itself.

On the Steve Day show, we take the news of the day and tested against first principles, faith, truth, and objective reality. We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort. We ask the hard questions and follow the answers wherever they leave,

even when it's unpopular. This is a show for people who want honesty over hype and clarity over chaos. If you're looking for commentary grounded in conviction and unwilling to lie to you about where we are or where we're headed, you can watch this D-Day show right here on Blaze TV or listen wherever you get podcasts. I hope you'll join us. Dad, thank you so much for joining us. Round two for our Father's Day themed episode. I told people to submit some questions that weren't just fatherhood centered because I said that you are really good at breaking things down in a way that we can understand. understand. So first, can you explain? We already had Marco Rubio do this on Tuesday, but I want to

hear you do it. Can you explain to us what inflation is? What causes inflation? Why are things so expensive right now? Well, first of all, thanks for having me back. You know, I wasn't so sure after our last episode, whether or not I warranted a return trip, but I feel good about that. And also not to contradict anything Senator Rubio said, which I'm sure he understands it very well. He's very smart man. But the reason things are so expensive right now, most of it, most of it is speculation. Let me tell you what I mean by that. Oil and gasoline consumption in 2019 versus 2000 to 22, which, you know, pre-pandemic, post-pandemic, is virtually the same in the United States. So we're using the same amount of gasoline as we use in 2019. And we're, we're, we're,

producing in the United States about the same amount of oil and gas that we produced in 2019. So why in the world then are oil prices for a barrel of oil four times higher and gasoline is at least twice as high? Well, most of that. Sorry, I'm not supposed to interrupt, but are we, we're producing about the same amount as we were? You said? Yes.

Yes. The United States is. Oh, I thought that we were producing less. No. It's not that those are those not, that's not what the numbers indicate from the API, which is the American Petroleum Institute. Now, they did, President Biden did limit what we could lease from some of the federal lands and limited. All of that stuff did not have an immediate effect on our oil production. It will long term. But we're producing roughly the same amount. And the reason that the prices of a barrel of oil have quadrupled and gasoline has doubled, is primarily because oil is bought and sold on the futures market. And what future simply means is that what do I think is going to happen in the world? And if X happens, then what should the price of oil be? And if I think the world is going to hell in a handbasket and there's going to be scarcity,

then I am going to be willing to pay more for oil and gas in the future. but I've got to make that decision today. And so people's speculation on the war in Ukraine, people's speculation on what might happen post-pandemic with people's driving habits, all of those types of things have an effect on that. Unfortunately, what doesn't have as much of effect as we want it to is what I just said is that, okay, if it's a true supply and demand market and the supply and demand is about the same as it was two years ago, then why isn't the price the same? For oil and gas, because it's a commodity, it's the same way with food, by the way. We predict people that are the people that buy these

large quantities of food. So they have to buy them on contracts that don't come to fruition until later. So a farmer needs to know that he can sell his crops in the future. And so somebody's willing to give him a contract today at a price in the future. That way, the farmer locks in the price, sometimes it could be lower, sometimes higher. And the commodities person buying that believes that they'll be able to sell that at a higher price. And so, and generally what happens is that these things run reasonably short cycles, all right? Obviously, the Great Depression was the longest cycle for something like this. But they run reasonably short cycles and it returns to what we would call normal where it, what is a true supply and demand marketplace. And I believe that'll have.

with oil and gas. It's not even healthy for the oil and gas industry for prices to be at $120 a barrel. That's not good because they know that makes everything else that they do and their employees do and the people they serve do go up. It's usually better, in my opinion, from people I've talked to that oil and gas barrel of oil costs somewhere around 80, 85 bucks would be a good price. And then the price of gasoline would be somewhere around probably $3. So that's kind of what's happening right now. right now. I think you just have to wade your way through it. Don't panic. And it will, it will settle out. There's no question about it. You have to have fossil fuels. You're not going to be able to, you know, live right now off of solar or wind or anything else. In fact, the thing that we should be doing is

increasing the production of natural gas and exporting that as much as we can because that's one of the cleanest fuels out there. Yeah. So I know you said that Biden's, green energy policies aren't necessarily having an effect on the price of gas right now. But couldn't you say, or they're not having an effect on the supply, the production of gas right now, because we're producing the same as we were previously. But couldn't you say that some of those policies that he has putting in place like, you know, refusing to renew some of those federal leases, that that could cause some of what you're talking about of these, of looking to the future.

and saying, oh, you know, we're worried that there is going to be a scarcity. And so we're going to raise the prices now. Like, does that make sense? Does that play into it? Absolutely. Because see, the price now is based on what somebody's speculating is going to happen in the future. All right? Just like, for example, if you ever go to a gas station and from one day to the next,

the gas price has gone up, you ever done that? Yeah. Well, they didn't get a new load of gasoline that night, probably. but yet the gasoline in the ground that they paid X for, now they want to charge X plus. Well, they're charging X plus because they have already been told through the futures market, which controls oil and gas prices, that the price is going up. And so they're going to go ahead and get ahead of that. And they go up because of political decisions, like what you talked about,

what President Biden's done and is doing and what people fear they will do even more. I do think some of it will certainly slow down in November. if Republicans take the House and or the Senate. And I think you'll see a lot less of that going on. I don't think he will operate as much by the pen as he, as his, as the President Obama did. I think what he'll want to begin thinking about is what's his legacy going to be. And listen, and I don't know President Biden personally, but I have watched his career over my lifetime. President Biden wants to get deals done.

He is not a idealist, in my opinion. Now, he's got idealist running his office, and maybe they're running his whole life. That's something that we don't know for sure. But I do think if the Republicans win in November, then I think you'll see a much different President Biden. Yeah, let's hope so. I mean, why do you think, though, okay, so he says that he is not renewing some of these leases. He's not for the expansion of the Keystone Pipeline. He's not for, you know, the energy independence that we enjoyed under President Trump.

And yet he is going to Iran and Saudi Arabia and begging them for oil there. So I'm a little confused about that. One, if we have the same production as we previously did, why would we need to go to Saudi Arabia and beg? And then also, if it's really about trying to get away from oil, fossil fuels, why would we be asking other countries to produce more? What do you think about that? Well, he's not necessarily. Well, first of all, because I'm not sure that President Biden is making all those decisions. He cut a deal, in my opinion, he cut a deal right before South Carolina to say,

okay, if you give me this South Carolina primary and you get behind me, I will allow all of these what you and I would call and what most normal people would call, far-left ideas to come into play. And that's what he's doing with the green energy and all that type of stuff. He's not necessarily going to Saudi Arabia and Iran to have them sell oil to us. He wants them to produce more oil and gas because oil and gas is a world market. And if there is a place that is suffering because they can't get Russian production, that will affect the price of oil and gas back here in Texas because of the way that the futures contracts are purchased. So he's more interested in stabilizing the oil and gas market.

And again, I haven't talked to him, but this is what he should be doing in Europe than he is here. He knows that we have enough to produce and consume what we need. We became the largest producer a few years ago, and we have the ability to continue to do that with the technology that we have of being able to extract this from the ground in a very environmentally safe way. Yeah, I do worry about the idealist that you talked about in his administration. I'm sure he doesn't fully agree with them. But like you said, I think that he cut a deal. He's probably controlled by them who have said openly that they don't want us using oil and gas. They want us on electric cars. There was this Democrat congresswoman the other day who just recently said, you know what? I don't have to worry about gas prices because I charged my car and I drove all the way from Michigan to D.C. No problem. Okay, well, electric cars are $50,000. If someone can't afford $5,000. dollars per gallon of gas? Are they going to be able to afford an electric car that's $50,000? Pete Buttigieg is saying the same thing. It does seem like this administration, Democrats increasingly, are totally out of touch. Like with what the normal average American can do, a lot of Americans are

just worried. How am I going to get formula? How am I going to pay for gas? How am I going to drive to work? How am I going to drive to drive to work? How am I going to get formula? Because some people have to drive across the state to do that. How am I going to afford the formula because it's more expensive? So as we're waiting for like the political solutions for this, if there are, like, what do you recommend for the family who is working hard but struggling to make insmeat because of all of this? Well, there's no question that. And what the Democrats also are unwilling to admit is an increase in oil and gasoline prices is a regressive tax, meaning that it hurts the people that have the lowest income the most. maybe not as much in a New York City or Chicago where they can take mass transit and the transit fees are subsidized, but for the average American and fly over states and increasingly in other states that are closer to the coast, like an Ohio or Pennsylvania or Florida or a New Mexico or a Nevada,

then this becomes a larger part of their budget. And what I recommend for families to do, I've gone through this and, you know, our mind and your mom's history and what have you is, first of all, you all, you have to have a budget. And in your budget, you have to make sure that the essentials are covered first. That's the roof over your head. That's the power to keep your family warm or cool. That's the food that they eat. And that's the transportation to get you back and forth to work so that you can provide a little. everything else, everything else as much as you don't like it, maybe outside of what you give

through your faith organization, everything else is optional. And a lot of it you might think is an optional, but it is optional. And those options have to be taken off the table when you're in a situation as a family that needs to cut back. And I know that's difficult. And maybe sometimes you get a second job and, you know, you do some extra. There's certainly plenty of jobs out there. We have more jobs available today than we've ever had in history of America. And so that's what I would do and that's what I recommend. And that's what Lisa and I've done in the past.

Tell me why. And I know we've talked about this. It's a little bit of a mystery. But tell us the analysis about why there are so many jobs out there available. And, I mean, we've got a lot of people here. And every time we go to a restaurant or any kind of survey, place, service industry place, it seems like things are understaffed, they can't offer the same things they have before, or they say, you know, bear with us, we're in the midst of hiring,

we can't give you things as quickly as we would like. What the heck is causing that? Well, I think it's three things. I think, first of all, the, I talked to an economist that used to work for the Federal Reserve for 20-something years. Now he's in private, or for a private company. And he said that in the period from when, let's say, COVID started in early 20 till the time we got to where we could, you know, at least function at the, you know, towards the end of 21 or the middle of 21. Normally, you would have about 1.4 million baby boomers leave the workforce during that period of time through retirement or whatever. That would be normal. That's what they expected. three million baby boomers left the workforce during that period of time and just decided not to come back.

Now, with the downturn and the stock market and what have you, maybe that will change and they'll come back to the workforce. Invariably, that always does happen. So that's one thing. The second thing is that I believe there is a segment of the population alley that said, we will do more with less. once I realized what it was maybe like to stay at home with my kids or maybe I went and started my own small business or something like that, I'm just not coming back. I'm not either not entering the workforce or I'm not entering the labor force in a way that is measured. A lot of these self-employment things are not measured as well as, you know, if you and I get a W-2 and what

have you. And the third thing is I think there were many, many blue states, Democrat states, that allowed the extra unemployment and all of those benefits to continue well beyond when they needed to. And in fact, some of them still continue to this day. And I think that's keeping people out of the workforce. And again, I do believe that that's one of the big, big reasons that we need to solve this immigration issue, meaning that we need to have an immigration policy that, first of all protects Americans, but also allows people from other countries to come in and work here,

not necessarily become a citizen unless they follow the correct path, but to legally be able to come and work here. Because if we don't, if we don't do this, then those people are going to go to another country and work and build the goods that you and I are going to have to buy, and we're going to be right back in the same shape we were before during COVID, when China and other countries controlled almost all the supply chains for U.S. products. We need those people to be able to work here. We need our own people to be able to work here. That's why we need better vocational-type training,

so that we can build and manufacture products here as opposed to overseas. It's a little bit of a conundrum for me because, of course, I want to say, look, we should have the number of people here already who should be able to fill these jobs. I would rather Americans be taking the jobs that immigrants coming in and be doing the jobs. Not that I'm against that, but if we have a list of priorities, I want Americans doing those jobs first. And yet it does seem like Americans aren't taking those jobs in some cases. And also, they're simply not enough. We're not.

You don't have enough Americans. You don't think. Well, you know, my mom had 12 brothers and sisters. You know, your grandmother had, you know, with 13 kids in her family, okay? And her and my dad had four, okay? We have three. And it's just the generations, except there's always anomalies to that, but the generations, we aren't reproducing ourselves like we did in the past.

Yeah. And that's just the way that some segments of the population are certainly the Hispanic population. And part of that goes with their faith belief in Catholicism, what Catholicism teaches and what have you. but part of it is that we are simply not replacing ourselves. Yeah, that is a problem. And I think that comes down to a lot of different things. It comes down to just like what we think about life, what we think about family,

what we think about priorities as far as pursuing a career or starting a family. I think women are doing that later and later. Some people are opting not to get married and have kids because they think it's just a burden or responsibility that they don't want to carry. it does seem like the idea of starting a family has kind of been demonized. And yet you and mom did that. You started very young and you had a lot stacked against you and probably a lot more stacked against you than a lot of young people do today

who are trying to decide whether or not to start a family. So take us back. I know you've already kind of talked about it in the previous episode. But take us back to 1980. and tell us what it was like then. What was the state of the country like then? What were your thoughts about the political state then? Were you even thinking about it?

And then what was it like starting a family and what odds were against you? Well, it's interesting that you asked that. And I haven't looked at it in a long time. But a lot of your people will not relate to this. But back when I was younger and high school, we had what we called an annual, which was kind of a picture book of the school year and what happened and each class had pictures taken and the sports teams and the music teams and the drama teams and all that. And then you would go around and you'd have your, especially if

you were a senior getting ready to graduate, have your friends write in your book, you know, about, hey, you know, it's great knowing you, best of luck, whatever. But I remember I wrote a deal in my own book. And I don't even know why I did this because I was 17, but I wrote a scenario worried about the economy at the time. Gas prices had gone up, not anything like they are now, but relatively speaking quite a bit. The Dow Jones Industrial Average stock market had taken a hit. This was Jimmy Carter?

Yeah, this was 78. So it was right in the middle of Jimmy Carter. So I must have had some awareness of that, even though my mom and dad certainly weren't political or anything like that. But I will tell you that it all worked out perfectly for me because 1980 was the first year I could vote in a presidential election. And that's when President Reagan, or then candidate Reagan, gave his speeches that were so well received by someone

like me. Because I wasn't only looking for, as you know, my family stories and my, you know, my mom and dad divorced. And that was a very tough family time for us then because they had just divorce when I was like a 16 or 17. And not only was I looking as all young men are, whether they admitted or not, or looking for mentors and guidance and, you know, where do I go from here? And I never met Ronald Reagan in my life. But I will tell you, the things that he stood for and the speeches that he gave really spoke and inspired me at a time in my life, which was absolutely critical as the next 10 years would prove. Yeah.

And so it was a good, it was a period, you know, I was born in Louisiana, raised in Arkansas. People always ask me, why did you get married so young? And I said, well, in Arkansas, if you don't marry your fourth cousins really quick, then you get down to the first cousins and there's issues with kids after that. Just FYI, my parents are not actually fourth cousins, everyone. No, we're not. Just to correct the record. They're not related at all.

That can't be said for a lot of people. I've been married 42 years now, and it's been nothing without difficulty, but been a blessing. And one of the reasons it was is because obviously our faith, but also because we were willing to put action in those steps, not just waiting for something to be delivered. And I think that's where most young people make a mistake because they're looking for the perfect situation. or they're looking for something to just be handed down to them. And, you know, one of my, you know, I've got a, I've got a book that I'm working on, hopefully going to come out sometime. And it's going to be titled, I believe, life lessons from the Little Red Wagon.

And it's really just about the basics of life that sometimes you're going to be a puller, sometimes you're going to be a pusher, and sometimes you're just going to be the cargo. And somebody helping you along. And so I think that's really important for, dads and moms and everybody to learn. But when you're getting started, I don't care what age it is, you've got to be willing to take the next uncomfortable step. And if you're waiting for everything to be comfortable, then you're probably not going to accomplish very much. And not just talking about money, I'm talking about when you look back on your life. But speaking of money,

you and mom did face a lot of financial hardship or just challenges in the beginning because you were young, you didn't have any money, and it may not have been the same economic scenario that people are dealing with today. And yet, it basically comes down to the same thing. As you said, kind of starting a budget and being disciplined in what you spend. But if you could look back at that time when you were, before you were really, you know, making any money, what are maybe some mistakes that you guys made, not just as far as how you spit money, but how both of you dealt with money, He talked about money. And what are some things that you're thankful that you did, you know, before you started

your own company and all of that? Yeah. Well, first of all, one of the things I'm the most thankful for, and I really don't know why it ended up like this, but we never lived beyond our means. In other words, we never found ourselves in a situation to where, oh, my gosh, I cannot, you know, I'm going to get, I'm going to get foreclosed on or I'm going to get a note called or they're going to come pick up my car or anything like that. And again, you're right. I mean, when we started, when mom and I got married, I think I made $700 a month. And even if you

inflated that up to today, you'll still find when you do that, it was pretty disappointing. So one of the things that we did, and I would say it's the very most important thing, is what we're talking about. Live within your means. Make a lift. of things that before you go to the store so that you don't, you know, buy things that you shouldn't have. You have to make sure, you have to understand that just because somebody else has it doesn't mean that you get it. And that's very difficult. Mom and I made mistakes in that area before we had friends that were about our age. Well, I would say they were little older than us, but they, you know, they made more money than us, and so they could have some things that

we didn't have. And sometimes mom and I would go buy some things that we couldn't afford and we shouldn't have done it. Now, we always, you know, paid for them and took care of it. But it probably set us back on our ability to accumulate assets. In our early years, and this is this is a point that people need to understand. At every stage of your adult life, you need to be a accumulating assets, either through your 401k plan or your private savings, preferably both, okay? Or you need to, you know, have real estate, those types of things. I'm not just talking about your home.

I'm talking about other things. What mom and I did probably for the first, I don't know, maybe seven, eight years of our marriage probably, is every time something would happen good financially for us, we would just increase our lifestyle up to that point. And you should not, that was a mistake because it put us behind the eight ball in accumulating assets. Now, things worked out really well. And certainly the Lord blessed us as we started a company and it grew and all that type of stuff. But as I'll, and you, you know, Allie, we, everyone doesn't matter if you're Allie or whomever it is or listen to this.

You all have family members that did just what Lisa and I do, did. and you've got family members that are still doing that today, they may be in their 60s. I certainly do. And it's very disappointing. So I'm just encouraging. You certainly do what? That I have family members that to this day, you know, are living on the edge financially because they never spent any time accumulating.

And you have to accumulate. And you have to do that at every stage of your career. Do not increase your lifestyle such that it. consumes everything that you have. And if that's happening right now, I would encourage you as fast as you can to cut back on that and begin accumulating assets because when you go through a period that we're going through now, you'll be a lot less stressed about it. You'll understand it's a cycle that happens. They always happen. And that on the other side, it will be better. In fact, there may be some great opportunities for you to be able to make an investment at the right time

when things don't appear to be going well, they're out in the world financially. I always appreciated growing up that you and mom, even though I'm, you know, very thankful for the life that we had. I never had to need for anything or really want for anything, which was different than how you guys grew up. But one thing I did appreciate in the midst of that is that you guys didn't put a lot of value on fleeting material things like brand names. Mom is especially good at this.

She didn't, you know, she didn't pressure me to wear, you know, certain brands or really care about that at all. If I did care about it, it was because someone at school was wearing in. And, of course, you know, yeah, that kind of just happens. That comparison trap happens. But mom really never emphasized that. I think that makes a really big difference. That makes a big difference for your children. If when they are looking to you to kind of set an example, they're not seeing people that are constantly trying to,

keep up with the Joneses because that's a mentality that I think can very much be inherited. So mom, I mean, she's a very prudent person. I know you credit mom with a lot of the good things that we have in our lives, a lot of good things that we have as a family. When you all first started dating 18 years old and they all got married at 19 and 20, I know you couldn't have foreseen what a great life partner she would be. But what was it? What were some characteristics in her that made you realize? realize, yep, like this is the person that I want to be by me forever. Well, I think, Allie, instinctively, and I don't know how, okay, so it had to be instinct.

I didn't, I don't think I had any train in this. I knew that I needed a partner that was going to compliment me, not compound me. And if I had, and she needed the same thing is where I was. was weak, she was strong, and vice versa. And I sense that. I really did sense that in Lisa. Just early on, it was just one of those things where when it, you know, when it, when it's right, it's right. We never had to really, we never had to really push it, I don't think. And what I also learned about mom is that mom is not, you know, I'm, I'm a little bit someone that if you dare me or push me or something like that, I'm going to, that's going to get under my skin.

And mom, and that's not right necessarily, by the way. I don't know what that's like at all. But mom never, never, ever, she just would not like that. You know that she is, she is one that wants resolution through discussion, compromise, those types of things. The other thing about mom, you know, mom's not a financial. person. That's not her. That's not her deal. But, and listen to this closely, she is a terrific money manager. Here's what I mean by that. Mom somehow has an instinct for knowing what she should

prioritize her fund zone. I have, she, Lisa hasn't had any budget from me in probably, I don't know, 25 years, right? But I never have to worry about her overspending. She just is not that way. And I know so many people have one spouse or the other that it's a constant conflict. Now, mom and I would would have conflicts over finances when we early on, we didn't have the money. I'd want to go play softball with an out-of-town team. And at the time, that might cost me 30 bucks a weekend to do. And we probably didn't have an extra 30 bucks. Or her mom wanted to maybe do. something else and you know each of us saw those things that we wanted to do is equally important. Now, I will confess to you that usually what mom wanted to do was to, you know,

add something that would benefit our family, not just her. And I was a lot less like that. And I regret that and embarrassed by that, but it's the truth. And if I had advice to give, it would, to dads, it would be, you know, when you, when you put the ring on the finger of your spouse, then you then become third in that relationship. First should be God. Second should be your wife, and then you come after that. And that's something that for a lot of people, and certainly was for me, hard to do. But I will tell you, once we figured that out, both of us actually, although mom didn't have the challenges I did. It just made things just take a big, deep breath. and relax.

Well, certainly one of the greatest gifts that I was given, and still, I mean, it pays off to this day is having parents who are together and not just together as roommates, but parents who have loved each other and who still love one another. I think that we don't think about as adults how much that benefits you, but you as someone who had parents that got a divorce, I'm sure in some ways, maybe that still affects you to this day. And on the other hand, having parents who are together who compliment one another in more than one way, it really does make a really big difference. So that alone should be encouragement to people out there is that marriage isn't always easy. The things you go through

aren't always easy. Sometimes it is more work than ease. But the foundation that you are giving your children through a unified marriage, it just can't be underscored enough. No, I don't think there's any question that, and we know this through all of society. One of the biggest challenges that we have in America is the fatherless homes. And part of what causes that is the way our government assistance program works and that they actually incentivize, maybe not on purpose, faith, incentivize moms to be single moms. Because if the dad comes in the home, they're going to lose a lot of their benefits. And so these boys grow up and girls, but think about boys for a minute.

They grow up without that type of figure that's in there every day. And it's not that the, not even that the dad is doing anything spectacular every day. He's just in there every day. And I think one of the things that certainly you knew about me, I traveled a lot less when you were little than I did with the other boys, is that, is that I was going to be there. That, you know, if it was important and most of the time, even for the time, even for you But it wasn't. I was going to be there and your mom was too. And I can't tell you how important that is. I know in my own life when I was in high school, you know, my family is really a family of musicians primarily. My younger brother and I are more sports-minded people. And I'd say that we were average to maybe slightly above average athletes. But sports was really important to me in high school. And that's where I put a bunch of my energy. Well, that's also the time that my mom and dad were having lots of challenges.

They were obviously on their way to divorcing. And I can't tell you how many things that my dad didn't come to, you know, just because of what they were going through. And it still makes me sad to this day because not only does it make me sad for me, because that still is there after all this time. It makes me sad for him, too, because I see the job. joy that a dad has when he's able to participate in his children's lives. I mean, Justin and I, your oldest brother, just played in a member guest kind of father-son-type golf tournament. And, you know, I don't care if we win, lose, draw, whatever. This spending three days with him just doing stuff that you enjoy and making those memories

is more important than anything else. And that's why it's so important for moms and dads to stay together. Because even when you're divorced and you have a good relationship, and I know a lot of people listen to this, have that. That statistics tell us that, that 50% people are divorced. It doesn't work the same. I guarantee you if you ask your kids, unless the father or the mother was abusive,

they want the mom and dad to be together in the home. And dads, we have a commitment to do that. That ring, the reason that ring circled is, for a reason. It's not just to fit on the finger. It means that there's no beginning and there's no end to your relationship with your wife. You know, some people are listening. They've got, they're a parent of a teenager and they're thinking, well, we're my teenager. We're not close right now. They're afraid that, you know, they're not going to have a close relationship or maybe they feel like they haven't been a great parent. They haven't done enough to disciple their kid or, you know, make sure that

their kid, got a Christian education, whatever it is. Parents of older kids can maybe have regrets. And of course, people listening to this podcast want to hear what it was like raising me. And of course, we could spend a long time talking about that. But if you could take us from, of course, love the story of what you guys didn't know that I was going to be a girl. I've got two older brothers. Take us to the beginning point when you, when I was born and you found out that I was a girl, what that was like. And then how our relationship has kind of transformed over the the years. Of course, just an overview of all of that. But take us to the first point to now. Well, you know, the interesting thing was is that, and this was 1992 when you were born.

Yes. Okay. But I'm not supposed to say that. No, no, that's fine. I just wanted to see if you could remember what year I was born. No, no, I was thinking about when we saw a sonogram, because back then sonograms were pretty early stage. And so we did have a sonogram. In 91, yeah. At 91. And we were with some good friends of ours, Neel and Deanne. you know them. And we were looking on the deal trying to determine, right? And mom and I would kind of look halfway because a lot of ways we didn't want to know, right? We still want to be surprised and all that. But she was probably what, maybe five months pregnant at the time somewhere to get the sonograms? Yeah, probably. But from that point on, the doctor absolutely knew. Absolutely. And Lisa had been going to

this same doctor for a while, so New knew him. And when you were born, the day that you were born, first of all, we thought, you know, you were the third, but you were seven years after our last one. And we thought we remembered how that went. But we went to the hospital pretty late at night. It was 10, 10, 30. We had to have some friends come over and help stay with the kids. And you were born early the next morning. I mean, you're almost born on, you know, the day before, early the next morning. I'll never forget, though, when, when, when the doctor was there and he said, it's a girl. How mom and dad, how we were just so excited. And the, and the funny thing was, is that the nurses and the doctor were so excited because they had known it, you know, for four months.

And so it was a journey that we were started down the road again, came home, and, you know, started our life. There's some funny things that happened along the way. You know, when you're, when you're, when you've been away from having kids waking up during the middle of the day, you night and all that type of stuff, you're like, oh my gosh, what did we sign up for again? Yeah. And, you know, the boys were active. Justin was in sports. Daniel, you know, by that time, we knew that he had autism. So we were working with him on all of that stuff.

And that was difficult. But Mom just packed you up and took you wherever we went. Except for almost, we didn't. Yeah, almost. So we're headed on a family vacation with my mom, who Allie called Grandma Dot, and grandma and two boys we had a big old suburban and you know we get everything packed up it's going to be a cross-country trip and so we get in the car get ready to go leased and i look at each other saying did you get alley did you get alley so we go back in there and alley's in her room

in her crib you know my cronery thing just what are we what's going on so anyway it all it all worked out but i can't believe we drove that far with a young baby went i think it was when went to D.C. I can't imagine that. From Texas to D.C. With an infant. You know, another, what I would consider a funny story along the way is, and I can remember Allie Beth, you probably don't remember this, but I remember exactly what car we

had at the time and exactly where we were. And you were five years old, five years old. Now, think about five years old. And we were arguing about something, which might not be that of a surprise. Was arguing normal for us at that point when I was five? Well, I think by the time you were five, it was me trying to set your boundaries probably inappropriately, you know, on how you could conduct yourself with mom and I, right? Now, mom wasn't near as worried about it. In the sense that I thought that I was in charge and you were telling me that I'm not.

And if things didn't go your way, that just, that just, we, we. must not be that bright if you didn't see it your way. You know, you didn't say that. But anyway, we argued over something. Yeah. We argued over something. And I think as I look back on it now, I absolutely believe I was making a mountain out of a molehill, which I had done more than one time.

And there wasn't really an answer to what I was upset about. And this is how this is one, the day I knew how smart you were is that you said, well, dad, what do you want me to do? And it was like five years old. I'm like, first of all, I don't want you to ask that question. That's what I'm thinking of my mind. And I mean, I dropped it right then, but I knew then I said, this is one very intelligent, very insightful purpose. You had figured out in your five-year-old mind that we had gotten to a point that wasn't logical. And you may not have processed it like that, but that's what had happened. And you just said, what do you want me to do?

you know, in a very strong tongue. So it's kind of funny along the way, but anyway. So it was, you know, I think me, Justin and Daniel were not strong-willed kids. Okay. They were much more get-along, go-along type people. They're a lot like mom. It was pretty clear early on that you had a very strong-willed mind and that you felt that you, just like I did when I was your age, you felt like you understood the world better than most people around you.

And probably was true, although I think you and I would both admit that we couldn't process things maturely at the time. Okay. We didn't understand how we'd understand how to have a mature thought process. We could, we could be very intelligent and figure stuff out through deductive reasoning or logic or whatever, but we weren't putting the rest of it through our brain that makes wisdom in good decisions. And so, you know, through the years, obviously you and I had a lot of conflict about that.

And when I, you know, compared to what other families go through in conflict, probably am maybe overstating it. But I do think it was, it had the potential to ruin our relationship long term. And it, without your mom, it might very well could have. Yeah. And it was just. Yeah. Just so people know, it was just, we argued a lot when I was in high school, me thinking that I knew more than I did, maybe you sometimes making a mountain out of a molehill, but both of us probably testing boundaries trying to understand what those boundaries should look like, me wanting to be unconditionally trusted.

You realize that I couldn't be unconditionally trusted, but maybe you should have trusted me more. So there's a lot of back and forth. And yes, mom was a mediator, which probably was an unfair place to put her in. And yet, because she is a peacemaker, she did that. And through, I think, probably a lot of her prayer, you and I, our relationship improved so greatly when I was a senior in high school, but also when I went off to college. I think it was prayer, the grace of God. I think both of us probably changed.

I definitely grew up and matured a lot from that independence. But both of us, I think, kind of softened during that time. and our relationship really grew in college when I was in college and is still very strong. So I just want to encourage parents. Like if you've got a kid, strong-willed kid, whatever, the relationship seems divided or strained and you're like, wow, this rebellious 16-year-old, there's no way that I'm ever going to be friends with them. You do not know what the Lord can do and what time and space and growth can do to a relationship,

right? Yeah, no, I agree. I think one of the things that I think I did, some of the time. but I didn't do as much as I should have, is when you're having a disagreement with your 16-year-old or 15-year-old or whatever it is, and you want to make a point because, listen, parents, you're in the dominant position, okay?

We get all that. And you can make a point in a way that will obviously get your point across. But what I want you to do is think about whether or not that point is going to be something that the way you did it, not what you said, but the way it was done 10 years from then. So when she's, or he's 26 or 27, is he's, is that the way in which you made that point still going to be eating on him or her?

and that can have hugely negative long-term relationship issues that are very, very hard to overcome. In fact, mainly impossible. You know, I think, Alie, you're right. When you went off to college, I was in a different position in my life at the time. I had just gotten to the point where I could have a little bit more flexibility and the pressure of building. the business and whatever, had other, had partners that were helping me with that. Mom and I obviously were in a really good spot. We felt pretty good about Daniel and where he was kind of going as well.

Justin had, you know, had gone off and had gotten married at the time. And so things were moving forward for us pretty nicely. And then, but that was just part of it. The counseling we had gone through in high school had helped a lot for me, It helped me a lot. And then when you got to college and you decided on your own, okay, as an independent woman, and listen, as people know that read your book, you made some mistakes, okay? We all make mistakes.

But the core of your faith and your belief, not only in what mom and dad did, but who we served, you know, and you had that to fall back on. You had the core faith to fall back on even when we strayed from that. And then you got involved in some really good things at college too that, who knows, we didn't know that you were going to do that or you didn't know it either when you went there, you know, whether it's helping out with the special needs or you had a group of girls that you did some Bible study stuff with and found a church that you liked and all that. Our relationship, yeah, it's been one of the big, big joys of my life.

It really, and I still marvel at you today because you definitely quickly got the wisdom part down. And you kept the other strong willed part, but also have a heart deck that reminds me of your mom. Wow, thank you. That's good. Yes, that is. I mean, I'll take that as a compliment because we both. know how soft-hearted mom is and I'm a lot, I'm a lot like you. Everyone knows I'm a lot like my dad and I'm thankful for that. I'm thankful for the different components of my mom and dad that I

got. And there's just no better foundation than parents who love you. And just to encourage parents out there that does not mean, there's no such thing as a perfect parent. There's no such thing as a perfect mom or dad that is not what your child needs to succeed. Yes, lay the firm foundation that you can, parents that love each other, but understand that even if up to this point, you feel like you haven't been as present as you want to be as a parent or you haven't sought out a relationship as much with your kid. Like, it's never too late. Your kid is 16, 17. They're still under your roof. You don't know the redemption and the reconciliation, the restoration that can come from dedicating right now to spending that time with your

child and giving that relationship to the Lord. So I'm just, I'm very thankful for that. you close us out, a lot of people are very discouraged about the state of the world right now when we really think America is just like going down the tubes. But you are very optimistic. I always call you when I feel like, oh, things are just falling apart. Things are never going to get better. Give us some, give us some optimism. Give us some hope for the state of the country. What we as families, as parents, moms and dads can be doing and look forward to as everything seems to be chaos and falling apart around us? Well, the first thing I would encourage everybody to do is when they get home or wherever

listen to this, go and read Daniel 2, 21, and 22, and write that down and put it on your refrigerator. Because at the end of the day, that's what gives us hope. However, it doesn't happen without the work that comes along that we're supposed to do. And I believe at the core, at the core of most people, you know, Alie, you know in our business, we had clients in all 50 states. I mean, I grew up in a very protected, you know, below the Mason-Dixon line, basically between Louisiana and Arkansas and as a young adult to Texas.

And so I had a very closed view of whatever that world produces. But what I learned in my 20s when I began traveling all over the country and our business is there were good people everywhere. And I still believe in the goodness of people. I certainly believe in the goodness of America. We do go through these cycles where things go up and things go down. Some last longer than we want them to be. Or if we happen to be the one that's impacted by it, it certainly feels a lot worse. And I understand that.

And the last big downturn in 2008, which actually worked out to be a really good thing long term, I had to terminate and lay some people off from our company. And that was hard to do. These people had families. They, you know, they needed the job. But it was just the decision that had to be made at the time. And ultimately, you know, I'm firmly convinced it was the right decision not only for us, but for them as well. I've kept up with most of them over the years and they've done really, really well and we helped them where we could as far as getting other employment and stuff like that.

But I think what you have to understand is that this is not normal. First of all, there's nothing new under the sun. And second of all, there's nothing new that's going on right now that we haven't already been through in America. If you go back and read the newspapers and everything that were going on back in the early formation of the country and beyond, there's always something that is pushing against the norm. Now, what's happened for a lot of years, and this is something that we have to stop, because I believe the Lord will allow it to continue to happen if his people aren't willing to stand up and stop it, is we have to be more vocal about stopping things that aren't right.

Doesn't mean we have to do it in a way that's hateful or mean or violent or anything, but we cannot allow what happened in our school system over the last 50 years to happen again. You know, the reason that the things went on in the school system like they did, yeah, people that don't think like us and don't believe like us, you know, did the actions to maybe put those books in the library or teaching some of the things they thought. But the reason to happen is because we allowed it to happen because we as conservatives and quote unquote good Americans dropped our kids off at the local public school and never

never spent any time there other than on the sports field or maybe watching a play. Well, I believe that that one thing that COVID's done is put a stop to that. And I am so excited about moms and dads all over America getting involved in where their kids spend the majority of their time during their learning years. And there's where we have to go. That's what can stop that. That's why I have hope is because I see a. a turning point in middle of America that says enough is enough.

Now, will we still have social issues and problems? Yes, we will. But I'll tell you what, as strong as the people that want to march for pro-abortion, we need to be marching for life. We cannot let them have the stage that they are gaining. We have to push back as hard and harder than we ever have before, because in this issue, these issues that we're talking about that we are absolutely right. Yep.

Yeah, I think that there are a lot more people that are riled up than ever have been. There are people raising a respectful ruckus, as we like to say. And I agree. People think, well, that's not doing anything. Talking about the issues isn't doing anything. It does. It does. For just one example, and I know we have to go, but like the Biden administration creating

this disinformation board, which basically, was just going to try to censor, you know, dissent, opinions that they don't like. I mean, that was very dystopian and very scary. Well, guess what stopped that from happening, at least for now? People talking about it. We exposed it. People blew a lid off of it. They didn't like that. Sunlight is a great disinfectant. So actually, the parents going to school boards and saying, this is what is in the book. This is what's in the curriculum. That makes a difference. Talking about it actually does make a difference. So can I say one last thing? Yeah. You know, we talked about, this is coming out sometime around Father's Day, I would guess.

Yeah. Thursday. And we talk about what responsibilities dads have, and it's a huge one. But I also want your audience to know that sometimes we think because the dad goes off to work, does his job, you know, maybe he's good at his job, probably is good at his job, that he gets all that encouragement and fulfillment out there. and he doesn't need it when he gets home. And there couldn't be anything further from the truth. You know, I've been able to do a lot of things that made me feel good. But I'll tell you, there's nothing, nothing that makes you feel better as a dad

than your kids believing in you and affirming that and your spouse believing in you and affirming that. And the lack of that happening to dads and husbands is just really, really pathetic. You know, every commercial, every TV show makes fun of the dad. You never see much encouragement going towards the dad. And yeah, the dad's got huge responsibilities and he needs to live up to those. But you know what? His emotions are the same as everybody's.

He wants to be loved and he wants that love to be shown by the people he cares about the most. Because I knew that if I had Lisa on my side, that no matter what, no matter what happened, it didn't matter. We were moving down the road. And she was always very, very good about that. So I just encourage your moms and kids to be encouraging to your dad and your husband. That's very, very important. You're on the same team. I know sometimes when, especially when the babies are little, things are chaos and the baby's waking up multiple times a night. You're tired. It's easy to think that you're on competing teams. It's easy to say, well, I did this or I did this or I'm doing more than you. But I try to remember myself because I remember someone told me this and I try to tell other people, you're on the same team. You've got the same goal. The ball should be going the same direction, which means that you are encouraging. reaching one another, not competing with one another. So thank you for that. Thank you so much.

Thanks for taking the time to come on. And when your book comes out, which it will soon, then we'll have you back on in the studio and we'll talk about that more. All right. Thanks. See you later. Thanks. Bye. Hey, this is Steve Day. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual, and rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity and reality itself. On the Steve Day show, we take the of the day and tested against first principles, faith, truth, and objective reality. We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort. We ask the hard questions and follow the answers wherever they leave, even when it's unpopular.

This is a show for people who want honesty over hype and clarity over chaos. If you're looking for commentary grounded in conviction and unwilling to lie to you about where we are or where we're headed, you can watch this D-Day show right here on Blaze TV or listen wherever you get podcasts. I hope you'll join us.