Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 864 | Should You Attend Your Gay Child's Wedding? | Q&A

Episode Date: August 29, 2023

Today, we're covering more questions asked by you. Should Christians kiss before marriage, and should you attend your gay son or daughter's wedding? We answer these in addition to some lighthearted questions covering subjects ranging from favorite (and least favorite) characters from "The Office" to favorite type of music to how to cook the best eggs. --- Timecodes: (01:10) How long do you plan to be a podcaster? (09:17) Favorite character from The Office? (10:10) Thoughts on kissing before marriage? (18:15) Favorite type of music? (20:34) How do you like your eggs cooked? (21:45) If you could have dinner with three people, living or dead, who would they be? (26:13) My child is gay. Do I go to his wedding? (29:17) You can only listen to one musical artist for the rest of your life – who would it be? --- Today's Sponsors: Carly Jean Los Angeles — use promo code 'RELATABLE' (new code!) to save 20% off your first order at CarlyJeanLosAngeles.com! Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage — Focus on the Family's new marriage podcast is a voice you can trust. Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley host the show each episode dives into something really relevant, like communication, intimacy, money issues, or daily stress. You can find Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage on Apple, Spotify or your favorite listening source. PublicSq — download the PublicSq app from the App Store or Google Play, create a free account, and begin your search for freedom-loving businesses! CrowdHealth — get your first 6 months for just $99/month. Use promo code 'ALLIE' when you sign up at JoinCrowdHealth.com. --- Buy Allie's book, You're Not Enough (& That's Okay): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love: https://alliebethstuckey.com/book Relatable merchandise – use promo code 'ALLIE10' for a discount: https://shop.blazemedia.com/collections/allie-stuckey

Hey, this is Steve Day. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual, and rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity, and reality itself. On the Steve Day show, we take the news of the day and tested against first principles, faith, truth, and objective reality. We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort.

We ask the hard questions and follow the answers wherever they leave, even when it's unpopular. This is a show for people who want honesty over hype and clarity over chaos. If you're looking for commentary grounded in conviction and unwilling to lie to you about where we are or where we're headed, you can watch this D-Day show right here on Blaze TV or listen wherever you get podcasts. I hope you'll join us. How long do I plan to host this podcast? Also, if you are a Christian and your child is gay, do you attend their wedding? What is my favorite kind of music? What do I think about kissing before marriage? We will be answering all these questions and more on today's episode of Religious. Relatable. It's brought to you by our friends at Good Ranchers. Go to Good Rangers.com. Use code Alley. at checkout this good ranchers.com. Code All right. Welcome to Relatable. Hope everyone's having a wonderful day and week. All right. We're going to answer some of the questions that you guys sent me in

today's Q&A episode. They're pretty fun questions. Gosh, sometimes you send me really deep questions. And I'm like, okay, that would take the entire episode. And I really appreciate them. And they require a lot of a lot of research and stuff too. Today, they're more. on the fun side, but we'll try to sprinkle in some more serious ones, too. They're all important. They're always important questions, I think. Y'all send really good questions. Here's an interesting one. How long do you plan to be a podcaster? Well, I can't say that I have like a five-year plan of what exactly things will look like. The media landscape changes so quickly. Five years ago, let's see five years ago was 2018, which is very hard for me to believe in my mind.

I think I would still say like two years ago was 2018. Past five years have just been so crazy, probably for everyone, but especially for us with kids, jobs and all that stuff. Five years ago, though, I think most people in conservative media, or maybe a little longer ago than that, maybe 2016, most people in conservative media, I think, thought that the pinnacle of your career had to be Fox News, that there was really. really nowhere else for you to go. And really places like Blaze TV and Daily Wire then, or I guess it was the Blaze then, they were kind of seen the stepping stones. And you could go there

for a little bit at this smaller network and you could kind of build up a name and, you know, gain some kind of audience. And then you would make your way to Fox News. And the very pinnacle of that would be hosting your own prime time show. But that really quickly shifted in Trump's presidency. As Blaze TV got bigger, as Daily Wire got bigger, other entities got bigger, independent voices got bigger, people realized you really do not need Fox News or any kind of corporate media in order to make money, in order to have an audience, in order to be a conservative commentator or have conservative influence in the media. There are so many different avenues that you can go down, you really can forge your own path. I'm very thankful I started when I did. I started

when Facebook was a little bit still like the Wild Wild West 2015. You could still post something and if people liked it, it would just go viral even if it went against the mainstream narrative. That's what happened to me. And I don't think it's like that anymore. I don't think people can get started just like from absolutely nothing making a Facebook page and then from that creating a sustainable career. And thank the Lord, that's what happened to me. It wasn't just Facebook. I was always writing on my own. I mean, I had a blog, but I was also going out there and speaking to places for free, literally just asking them, hey, can I come speak at your sorority meeting? Can I come speak at your young Republicans club? As, you know, completely a nobody, but just putting myself in situations

where I could have an audience and talk about things and hone my craft. And that ended up leading to what I do. I've talked about my story. So I won't get into all of those details. I don't know what episode, but you could probably go back and find it. I have laid out all the the details of how I came to do what I do today. And so I definitely had the idea that, oh my gosh, I know it would be so difficult. But one day, if I could just be, you know, if I could just have a prime time show on Fox News, oh my gosh, maybe when I'm like 45 or 50, I can be finally like Megan Kelly. I always loved Megan Kelly. I still love Megan Kelly. And so it was so cool when I started being a guest on Fox News. I still remember when I got the email from Fox and Friends asking me if I could be a guest.

and it was just amazing and all the stuff. But then I realized over time, wow, I have more flexibility and more freedom and have probably like a bigger audience of people my age, you know, making videos on social media at the time and blogging and speaking that I would if I went to Fox News. And maybe maybe even making more money too, depending on, you know, if I had went, if I had gone to Fox News at that time, it would have been. been like very entry level kind of thing. And so, or at least more opportunity to make more money. And so, yeah, so it's shifted so much that I would never. And I honestly don't know any conservative

commentator or podcast host that would. I would never want to move to New York and work for Fox News. Like that would literally give me no benefit. It would give me zero benefit. to move somewhere like Fox News and host my own show. Doing what I do now is 10 times better for someone like me, maybe not for everyone, but for someone like me, than to be on Fox News. I get to talk about so many things however I want to. I'm never restrained at all.

I'm not part of some corporate entity that is pushing all the pride stuff like Fox News is. And it has so much more flexibility for me and my family. And every conservative podcaster I know feels the same way. and there's endless opportunity, too, within this realm. I say all that to say that as much as it's changed over the past five years, it's probably going to change a lot over the next five years, too. So I know this is kind of a long-winded answer. I only have a few questions that I'm going to answer today.

But I don't know what the media landscape will look like in five years. I'm very thankful, very thankful to the Lord, that I, not everyone, by the way, who started on social media, was able to evolve and change to actually grow like a sustainable platform, like write a book and continue to speak and to have a podcast. Some people, they just thrived on social media and making the two-minute rant and they just weren't able to move with the changing media landscape. And so you never know when that's going to happen to you.

And I never know like what God is, you know, is going to call us to. Our lives could look very different in two years. I will say I love doing what I do. I'm very passionate about doing what I do. I feel called to do what I do. And so for any of you who are like, oh, don't leave us hanging, I don't plan to do that. I plan to do this for as long as God calls me to. And I'm always doing what you guys are doing, which is doing the next right thing in faith with excellence and for the glory of God.

So who knows? But there will absolutely be different things that I'm a part of, different things that I create over time. I think that's a lot, that's a direction that a lot of people in media are going toward, um, is that we want to create things, not just like host daily shows, which is important, but we really want to create like substantive things that are moving the needle. And so, uh, we'll see what that looks like for me. We'll see. Uh, but I'm glad that you guys are here. I'm glad to be doing what I'm doing. And I truly love relatable. What it has grown to be is just like a testament to God's faithfulness and also to y'all's loyalty. So thank you for that.

Hey, this is Steve Day. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual, and rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity, and reality itself. On the Steve Day show, we take the news of the day and tested against first principles, faith, truth, and objective reality. We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort. We ask the hard questions and follow the answers wherever they leave, even when it's unpopular. This is a show for people who want honest over hype and clarity over chaos. If you're looking for commentary grounded in conviction

and unwilling to lie to you about where we are or where we're headed, you can watch this D-Day Show right here on Blaze TV or listen wherever you get podcasts. I hope you'll join us. Okay, favorite character from The Office, it's got to be Michael. It's got to be Michael. Although I am one of the rare people, at least who I talk to,

that actually liked it after Michael left. Like, I still thought it was really funny. Robert California, such an uncomfortable character, but funny. I still love those episodes, those seasons after like Andy becomes the boss and stuff. Like, I'm totally fine with it. But yeah, Michael is my favorite in that he probably made me laugh the most. But also Jim. Just like Jim's subtlety and his humor, one of my favorites.

Probably my least favorite is Karen. I'm sorry, but I don't really like that actress that much. anything, like including in parks and rack. It's just, I don't know if it's just the characters that she plays or what it is, not trying to be rude. But yeah, you didn't even ask for my least favorite. I just volunteered that information. Thoughts on kissing before marriage.

Okay, so the Bible isn't clear about can you hold hands? Can you sit right next to each other? Can you watch a movie together at night? Can you kiss? If you can kiss, can you open your mouth? Can you make out? Like, can you interlace your fingers when you're holding hands? Can you only do pancake? Like, there are a lot of questions that we could be asking that the Bible doesn't specifically

address. The Bible does specifically address sexual purity and having a heart that is following after Christ, pursuing holiness as God is holy, of course, through spirit-powered sanctification. And ensuring that sex and the sexual act is exclusive to marriage between. a man and a woman. We say that reiterated throughout scripture. And that's for our protection. It's also for the glory of God because a man and a woman being together in marriage is a reflection of Christ in the church. And the sexual act is a holy bond that it ties souls together. And so it's a beautiful gift that God gave human beings, not just for the sake of pleasure, but also for the sake of procreation. And so because that's so sacred and because God specifically ordains it

for the boundary that is set by the institution of marriage, I think that, understanding what sex is, understanding what marriage is, understanding that the body is supposed to be a temple for the Holy Spirit, understanding that we are supposed to be a vessel of God's glory, understanding our purpose to pursue sanctification and holiness by the power of the Holy Spirit. All of that is where we should start when we are talking about what should boundaries be in dating. It's the same thing with modesty. We don't read in the Bible that, okay, our skirt can only be this many inches above our knee, or our neckline can only go this low, or we can wear spaghetti straps or tank tops that are this many inches in width. We don't read those specific stipulations. But when we go back to

the core of, well, okay, who is God? What does he call us to? Who am I? As an image bearer and as a Christian, we can understand what the Bible means by modesty. We can understand what the Bible means by sexual purity, that it might not be these little minute rules, but from a heart and from a place that wants to honor God as much as possible, not just try to find a way to maybe not technically sin, we order our boundaries and we order our lives, we order our actions, we order our appearance accordingly. And so I think that what that probably means is because sex, so in this context, because sex is reserved for marriage, anything that provokes our heart, provokes our bodies, provokes our minds towards lust, towards engaging in an act

that is not meant for two dating people, that is not meant for two single people, that our boundaries should keep us as far from that lust as we can. That doesn't mean that we can't desire to be with that person. Of course, it's normal. Of course, sexual feelings are normal. Sexual attraction is normal. God gave us these things. But just as every desire is, it's supposed to be put into the proper context. And so just as Song of Solomon says, like, we don't want to stir our affections before or we don't want to awaken love before it so desires. We don't want to stir certain affections when they cannot be satisfied in a godly context. And so that's going to mean possibly.

And there are obviously boundaries to what I'm about to say, but it could be different for different people. Again, in some ways. And the same thing with modesty. Like there are going to be some hard and fast rules that, Christian say, no, we're not going to wear that. That is too far. That's obvious. But then in other ways, there are some nuances. I think the same is true when it comes to what you can engage in before marriage. I will say, like, probably laying down and making out on the couch when you're

dating or even engaged is not going to help you in your path to purity. It's just probably not. It's naturally awakening and desire that God gave you that, again, cannot be satisfied in a God glorifying way. Really the most important thing here is that we remember that reading the Bible, following God, is not just about what can we get away with and technically still be a Christian. What can we get away with and not feel super, super guilty about it? Like, and I'm, you know, preaching to the choir. This is true in all areas, by the way. And we all have to make sure that we are doing this, that we are doing everything that we possibly can to glorify God and everything that we think, say, and do. So it's not what can I get away with, but how can I glorify God to the utmost in what I

wear and how I act certainly in the realm of sexual purity? Because we do read that sexual sin is different than other sins. It's not the same as other sins because you are sin against your own body, which was bought with a price. So people like to say, oh, well, sin is sin. In a sense that, yeah, it separates us all from God. It makes us all guilty. Certainly, we all need to be bought by Christ. but sexual sin is distinct in that you are sinning against your own body, which God says if you are a Christian is a dwelling place for the Holy Spirit. So it's a really big deal. There is heart involvement, soul involvement, mental, emotional involvement,

in any kind of physical act with someone that you love or like or attracted to. And that is why God gives us the boundaries that he does. So really, as far away as you can stay from that sexual act while you are not married, probably the better, I would say. I don't think that means like a blanket prohibition on all kissing. I don't think that means a blanket prohibition on all cuddling, on all handholding, on all touching. I would probably say that you probably shouldn't spend a whole lot of time alone together

in the dark. Just seems kind of common sense if you are trying to honor God in your sexual relationship and stay within the boundaries that he is lovingly placed for us. There's a whole lot more than we can talk about on that. But those are my initial thoughts. Okay, favorite type of music. Favorite type of music. Gosh, I used to pride myself on being someone who, like, found cool music when I was

in high school. I used to love to burn CDs. And on Apple Music, you could, like, print a cover for the burnt CD that would create, like, out of all the album art, would create, like, a collage of album art that I thought was so cool. I would do that for any boy. friend that I had. Even up to my, like, my husband when we were dating. This is like my move. I would like make, I would burn a CD and then like print out. It had to be colored ink too. It print out the collage of album art and like put it within the like plastic CD case. And so I used to like really pride myself

on making those CDs and finding cool music that people hadn't heard before. But, But I don't know. After high school, really, and then after college, well, I guess I met my husband after college. I don't know. Sometime after that, I stopped caring about that kind of thing. I don't even know what my favorite music is. I love 80s and 90s music. I do love 80s and music. I can tolerate some country. I grew up listening to mostly country and Christian music. And as far as Christian music goes, there's only like a few that I really consistently like. I really like Shane and Shane. I would say that's probably my go-to. when it comes to Christian music.

And again, I like some country music. Like, I like the, like, Zach Bryan, like Morgan Wallen type country music that we're getting now. Better than what we were getting a few years ago. I won't name names, but we had some real cringe country music coming down to Pap land. A couple of years ago, a few years ago now. Didn't like it.

I'm not really in. Surprise. I know this is going to shock y'all. I'm not really into rap. I know. I know you're taken aback. You had to pause this. podcast and say, I don't, I don't even know if I know this woman anymore.

Let's see. So, yeah, I don't know if that answers your question. Just anything with like a good solid beat. I like, I like that. But it's also got to have like good music. That's why I can't include rap in that. And I can't stand stupid lyrics. Cannot. Cannot. Cannot. How do I like my eggs? How do I like to eat my eggs? Let's see. probably mostly, well, no, fried. Definitely fried. I was going to say scrambled, but no, it's fried. And I don't know if that's mostly a southern thing. I feel like if I tried to eat fried eggs in the Midwest, I'd be scared. You have to do bacon first. You have to cook your bacon. And then you have to fry the eggs in the bacon grease. And you, obviously, the pan is already hot. And so you cook it until,

it's, you know, the white part has kind of congealed, the egg white, and then you take it off the heat after that, and then you flip it over, but only for like a few seconds. You don't want the white part to be gooey, but you do want the yolk to be liquid. That's good. And I love, I love fried eggs, like on most things. Like, I could eat it on salad. I could eat it on hamburgers. Yeah, fried eggs. Only in baking grease. Like, don't try to do it in olive oil or something healthy like that. If you could have dinner with three people living or dead, who would they be? One of them is definitely C.S. Lewis.

Oh, other ones. I honestly don't know. I'm like, whose mind could I change? Probably someone who professes to be a Christian and is like super is like on the left. I'd probably just like want to change their mind. maybe I could try to reason with someone who has like a lot of power like George Soros's son or something like that. Oh, I would love to, which maybe she would. Maybe she'll see this and she'll say maybe she will go to dinner with me.

I would love to go to dinner with Megan Kelly. I love her. I love being on her show. She was on my show once and I want to be her friend. Let's see, probably. I mean, I could say, I could say, jeez. us that would definitely be interesting. I would have a lot of questions for him. But I mean, I've got all eternity for that. So I don't know if I would. And I guess with CS Lois too.

So I don't know. Cs Lois, I used to say Ronald Reagan, but I'm not sure if that's true anymore. I don't know. Maybe Corrieton boom. That would be really interesting. Maybe one of the founding fathers. I always think about like how would I explain some, how would I explain like the iPhone to the founding fathers. Like how would I explain the picture of the White House with the transgender flag hanging from it? Like how would I, how would I, John Adams, like, how would I explain this? There would be so many things that I would have to explain leading up to their understanding of our modern technology and culture. I'd like to challenge myself to think about how much I understand that I could explain it to them in a way that the other day, while the other day,

the other day as I'm recording this when I was talking to one of my guests about these synthetic human, quote unquote, embryos that are being created in a lab that could apparently maybe one day grow into human-like creatures. I was thinking, I was like, you know what, this someone explaining this to me is like me trying to explain an iPhone to a founding father. I feel like there are a lot of steps before this that I really need to understand. And I don't like my mind can't grasp like a non-human embryo being implanted into a woman and then growing into something that looks like a human that looks like an image bearer of God but doesn't actually have human DNA. And so I feel like things just technology goes so fast that I those of us who try to understand technology can't

even understand where it's going. Anyway, I don't even remember. what the question was. Okay. Next. Oh, the dinner with three people. Yeah. It'd be really interesting. Elizabeth Elliott, that's another one.

It'd be really interesting to try to explain things to these people. But really, I would want them to explain concepts to me. Controversial question. Be a controversial answer. My child is gay. Someone says, do I go to his wedding? Of course, if you're a Christian, I'm going to say you should not. because you would be celebrating what God calls sin.

And I totally completely understand the desire to celebrate and to love and to affirm your child and the possibility of severing a relationship with your child. Severing a relationship should they somehow try to create a child that they raise themselves? Severing that potential relationship. Like that is really, really difficult. That is a tough decision to make. I think a lot of people will tell you, just do it. You're not celebrating the sin. You're celebrating that person. You're making them feel loved. But you can't, you can't separate that. You can't separate

that. You're not celebrating them as a person. You are celebrating a union that God does not call marriage, that God would not call a wedding, that God actually calls sin. And because God is more loving than us, he's more compassionate than us. He actually loves your child more than you do. He cares about his soul and his heart more than you do. I don't think in love we can celebrate that something that God calls bad, that God calls wrong. Their union is not an Ephesians 5 reflection of Christ in the church. Therefore, it's not representative of the gospel. It's not what we see in the very beginning when God created the male and female. It is a complete rejection of that. And so I think celebrating that which God calls sin is a sin in itself. And it is going to hurt his.

feelings, absolutely. And that is, no one wants to do that. No, I understand. No one wants to do that. But Jesus does say, like if you're not willing to hate in a certain sense, your father and mother, your sister, brother, your son or daughter, then you are not worthy to follow me. Taking up our cross, following Christ, even when it is extremely difficult, even when it severes relationships, even though that's never the desire or the goal, that is a really difficult part. of the Christian life. I think that you can pursue that relationship in a lot of different ways. You can try to explain to your child what went into this decision and why you won't be there, but ultimately your fidelity is to God and His Word. And I know people will say, oh, that's unloving.

We're called to love people. We don't get to define love. Love is not affirming someone's feelings. Love is not affirming someone in their sin. How does 1st Corinthians 13 define love? Love does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. So anytime we see someone say, well, you have to love people. Yeah, of course. We love people how God tells us to love people because God is love, 1 John 4,8. He defines love 1 Corinthians 13. So we don't really have the authority to define love as anything other than what God says it is.

We will never love people by disagreeing with God or celebrating with what God, celebrating what God calls sin. Um, okay, uh, you can only listen to one musical artist for the rest of your life. Who would it be? Um, Hillary Duff, obviously. Just kidding. Um, one musical artist. I mean, probably, I know I already said this, probably Shane and Shane. I really love their voices. I love their harmony. Uh, but there's a lot of, there's a lot of good artists out there. I don't know. That's like the one that comes to. mind right now. But honestly, as much as I don't agree with Bethel theology, their voices are very powerful and very listenable to me. Gosh, I don't know. I don't know. One artist for the rest of my life, I would need to, I need to like look at my Spotify and who do I even listen to. I can tell you who it's not. It's not Fergie.

It's not Miley Cyrus. That is for sure. It's definitely not Britney Spears, who I think used to have a good voice and something happened. I'm sorry, Bree, but it wouldn't be Taylor Swift. Would it be yours? Is that for the rest of your life? Yeah. Bree says yes.

It's not that I don't like her voice or like her music. I just am not sure that I could listen to that for the rest of my life. The theology reflected in her songs really makes me sad. I don't know, maybe like 70s or 80s or someone like that or someone within that realm. Ooh, I really also like Broadway voices. So it could be like Idina Manzal or someone like that. If I could recruit someone from Broadway to sing a bunch of hymns, for me, I could put that on repeat for a long time, I think. I do have like a hymns for moms playlist on Spotify.

And there's a lot of, I also like, okay, I really, okay, someone asked me, what's my favorite kind of music? I would say like 70s and 80s, um, semi-country like Americana type stuff. I do really like that Like a little Well this is rock Leonard I like some Leonard skinnered I like some Alabama I like some like Credence Clearwater Revival

Yeah I like that kind of stuff And also like the kind of stuff that we would swing dance to When we were in college because I went to college in South Carolina Like the brown eyed girl that type of stuff I like that kind of music All right. I think those are all the questions that I'm going to ask today. What a wide range of things. Okay. Thanks so much for listening. We will be back here soon. Hey, Relata Bells and Relator Bros. If you could please leave us a five-star review wherever you listen to Relatable, that would mean so much to us. And it really does help the show. Also, if you haven't subscribed to our YouTube channel, please deal. Thanks.

Hey, this is Steve Day. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual, and rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity, and reality itself. On the Steve Day show, we take the news of the day and tested against first principles, faith, truth, and objective reality. We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort. We ask the hard questions and follow the answers wherever they leave, even when it's unpopular. This is a show for people who want honesty over hype and clarity over chaos. If you're looking for commentary grounded in conviction and unwilling to lie to you about where we are or where we're headed, you can watch this D-Day show right here on Blaze TV or listen wherever you get podcasts.

I hope you'll join us.