Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 899 | Do the Dead Watch Over Us? | Q&A

Episode Date: October 31, 2023

Today, we're answering a few of your questions. Why do some Christians say their loved ones are watching over them from heaven? How does one battle postpartum depression? Is burial more respectful than cremation? We also discuss how to reconcile relationships with family members who have hurt us. --- Timecodes: (00:50) Are our loved ones watching us from heaven? (11:45) Thoughts on postpartum depression (26:40) Cremation vs. burial? (28:35) What’s your favorite podcast? (34:15) How to reconcile relationships with family members who have hurt you? --- Today's Sponsors: Carly Jean Los Angeles — use promo code 'RELATABLE' (new code!) to save 20% off your first order at CarlyJeanLosAngeles.com! Seven Weeks Coffee — Seven Weeks is a pro-life coffee company with a simple mission: DONATE 10% of every sale to pregnancy care centers across America. Get your organically farmed and pesticide-free coffee at sevenweekscoffee.com and let your coffee serve a greater purpose. Use the promo code 'ALLIE' to save 10% off your order. Jase Medical — get up to a year’s worth of many of your prescription medications delivered in advance. Go to JaseMedical.com today and use promo code “ALLIE”. Good Ranchers — get $30 OFF your box today at GoodRanchers.com – make sure to use code 'ALLIE' when you subscribe. You'll also lock in your price for two full years with a subscription to Good Ranchers! --- Buy Allie's book, You're Not Enough (& That's Okay): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love: https://alliebethstuckey.com/book Relatable merchandise – use promo code 'ALLIE10' for a discount: https://shop.blazemedia.com/collections/allie-stuckey

Hey, this is Steve Day. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual, and rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity, and reality itself. On the Steve Day show, we take the news of the day and tested against first principles, faith, truth, and objective reality. We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort.

We ask the hard questions and follow the answers wherever they leave, even when it's unpopular. This is a show for people who want honesty over hype and clarity over chaos. If you're looking for commentary grounded in conviction and unwilling to lie to you about where we are or where we're headed, you can watch this D-Day show right here on Blaze TV or listen wherever you get podcasts. I hope you'll join us. Why does so many people say that their loved ones are watching down on them from heaven? Is that really true? What are my thoughts on postpartum depression? What's my favorite podcast?

How do we reconcile relationships with people who have heard us answering all of the? these questions and more on today's episode of Relatable, which is brought to you by our friends at Good Ranchers. Go to Good Ranchers.com. Use Code Alley. Check out this good ranchers.com. Code Alley. Hey guys, welcome to Relatable. Hope everyone is having a wonderful day and week so far. Okay, we've got a Q&A episode today answering all of your fascinating questions. The first question that I want to answer is, why do so many Christians say their loved ones are watching them from heaven? This is a very popular idea, not just within Christianity, but I would say kind of culture at large, believing that after your loved ones die, that they're watching you, that they're with you, that they're looking down on you. And there's a sense of comfort that comes from that.

I mean, there have been many testimonies of people who say that after a loved one died, that they have dreams about their loved ones speaking to them, that it almost feels like some kind of visitation. or that your loved one who died maybe becomes your guardian angel. They're watching out for you. They're making sure that things work out in your life or they're kind of like a spirit or a force for good embattlement. And while all of these things may feel comforting, there's not actually any biblical precedence for them. So I'll look at a few passages that some people use to try to say that the Bible does

indicate that dead people can see us from the afterlife, can see us from heaven, and therefore we can say that they look down on us, or they might even use these passages for the justification of the Catholic belief that saints who are in heaven, or even Mary, who is in heaven, can deliver our prayers, can hear our prayers and deliver them to God, which is not what Protestants believe, because we don't see any biblical, support for that. But sticking with this particular question, can our loved ones look down and see us if they are in heaven? Some use Hebrews 12.1. Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off the sin that entangles run the race marked out for us. I'm paraphrasing

that last part. But the important part, surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses. And people use that verse to say, well, they're witnesses. We are surrounded by them. They are witnessing our life. Or some people might use the parable in Luke 1628, the rich man in Lazarus, looking from Hades at the poor man who is being comforted in Abraham's bosom and is asking, please, can you warn my brothers who are still on earth? Can you testify to them about what I do? And, is asking, please, can you testify to them about what I did not know so they don't end up where I am. Or people might use Revelation 610, where the martyrs call for God to avenge their deaths. And so people use a variety of passages to try to say that people who are dead can see us here on Earth. But none of these

passages are actually speaking to that. If you look at Hebrews 12-1, therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, just like with all passages, we have to look at it in context. So it's building off of Hebrews 11. And Hebrews 11 is looking at the, is looking at the kind of heroes of the faith. And so the witnesses that we are talking about in Hebrews 12, they are witnesses to the life that is lived by faith. They are witnesses to the reward of our faith. they're not necessarily or they're not witnesses of our lives. There's nothing in this passage that indicates that these people are looking down from heaven, that they are answering our prayers or that their presence is with us in any way.

It's actually very clear that they are in heaven. And so these are people who have witnessed what the power of the Holy Spirit can do in a life that is surrendered to God. And we look to their testimonies for encouragement, but they are. not according to scripture with us hearing our prayers, etc. And then if you look at this parable of the rich man in Lazarus who is asking, hey, can you please testify to my brothers so they don't end up in this horrible place, Hades. Again, we don't see any indication that he is hearing the prayers or seeing his brothers on earth. He just has knowledge of it. And there's only so much that we can really draw from a parable. And then you've got revelation, the martyrs calling for

God to avenge their deaths. Again, there's no indication here that martyrs are actually the ones who are dead or seeing anything that is going on here on Earth. And so we just don't see biblical support for that idea or the idea that people become angels when they die. I understand that there are things that we say to try to comfort ourselves. in death. They're trying to comfort other people in death. And I don't think right after death is the time to correct someone's theology in that way. I do think it's important to talk about in general. I don't think we should just say, well, whatever, make someone feel good, because look, theology has practical consequences. And so it's important to correct our theology on this, although I do think

that there is a time and a place. The reality is, and this is where the real comfort comes from, usually like false teachings, teachings that are not supported by scripture, they indicate our need for something that can really only be found in Christ, something that can only be found in truth. And so if what you are seeking, if what you are needing is comfort, is presence, is guidance, and is protection. And you like the idea of that coming from a higher, like ethereal being that can see more things than you can, then look to Christ.

Look to God. I mean, there is a reason, many reasons, why God refers to himself as our father if we have been saved by Christ. We are his children. We are co-ares with Christ. We belong to him. We are a part of his family. We are a part of his kingdom. And he does see everything.

He does know everything. Psalm 139 says that he purposed, planned every single day of our life before any of them came to be. He knit us together in our mother's womb. We see in scripture that he knows everything, that he sees everything, that he is not limited by time or space, that he actually is suspended in the eternal now, meaning that he is not limited by the present moment. He's not on this linear timeline that you and I are, something that we can't even fully comprehend because right now we are, you know, limited by those constraints that God is not limited by. so it's hard for us to even understand the eternality of his character. But wow, if we're looking for power, like if we're looking for providence, if we are looking to be comforted by something that is bigger than is greater than us,

that is mysterious and yet loves us and knows us and cares about what's best for us, then let's look to God himself, whom we can have an intimate relationship with through Christ, who brings to us through his death and resurrection by grace through faith reconciliation with the holy God restoration to a holy God in relationship with a holy God. And it is uncomfortable to think about, wow, our loved one who we loved so much here on earth, who we knew so well that they are in heaven and they're preoccupied with something else. But they are. They are.

If they are in heaven, they are totally and completely enjoying. joyfully consumed by the worship of the glory of Christ. And that's exactly what we want for them. We don't want them to be worried with the anxieties of this life. That's what they have graciously escaped. And if they are in the presence of Christ, they've got a lot going on. They've got a lot going on that doesn't have to do with us. Now, we will recognize our loved ones in heaven.

So there may be, you know, joyous reunions there, but if you want to take comforts in one your own providence and someone who's watching out for you take comfort Christian in that there is a God who sees you and knows you and loves you very much and Romans 828 says that he is working all things together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose that doesn't mean happiness that doesn't mean always ease that doesn't mean always comfort it actually could mean tragedy it could mean tribulation it could be trials but in the end all things work together for the good of those who love him and for the glory of God. So that's one piece of comfort there. The other piece

of comfort that we should have rather than thinking that our loved ones are somehow intertwined in our lives is that they are consumed by the glory and the peace of God, finally and fully, and are fully whole and fully healed. And they don't have to mess with the temporal worries that we have here on earth. So typically, like the longings that are superficially fulfilled by false doctrines, they speak to something that we actually need, but are always much more profoundly answered and satisfied by the truth and what the gospel actually brings us. And so just keep that in mind. And again, a time and a place for that kind of correction, but it absolutely does matter. Let us not put our hope and our comfort in lesser things when Christ is the one who fully

satisfies. Hey, this is Steve Day. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual, and rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity, and reality itself. On the Steve Day show, we take the news of the day and tested against first principles, faith, truth, and objective reality. We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort. We ask the hard questions and follow the answers wherever they leave, even when it's unpopular. This is a show for people who want honesty over hype and clarity over chaos.

If you're looking for commentary grounded in conviction and unwilling to lie to you about where we are or where we're headed, you can watch this D-Day show right here on Blaze TV or listen wherever you get podcasts. I hope you'll join us. Thoughts on, this is different. You know, lots of variety here. Thoughts on postpartum depression. So postpartum depression is a thing. I think that we have neglected, probably ignored and minimized for a while. while, but that is talked about a lot more. Now, I do want to, I do want to differentiate, and I'm not

speaking as a psychologist or psychiatrist myself. I'm just speaking as a mom. I'm also speaking as someone who interviews and talks to a lot of very learned experts in this field, because unfortunately, psychology, psychiatry, it's all become political. And so there are conversations to be had about the pharmaceutical companies and about the marketing and about the medical industry and how all of these things play into the different diagnoses that we are told that we have and all of that. So as I say my opinion, I'm speaking as someone who is just an amateur myself, just a, you know, a normal plebe, but who cares about that stuff and who has had children. So I've experienced this. So I do think postpartum depression,

is an important thing to name, an important thing to talk about. At the same time, I don't want to medicalize something that is normal. It is normal for you to feel very emotional, even teary, and stressed and tired in the postpartum period. Now, just wait, I'm not minimizing real actual depression. Just wait. But I am telling you, just because you feel those things. things just because it's difficult, just because you might even feel like sometimes you're losing your mind does not mean that you have a medical diagnosis. Does not necessarily mean that you need to go on any kind of medication. Maybe you need to see a counselor, just in general, I think as long as it's a biblical counselor, that can be a good idea. Maybe you need to talk to a friend. Maybe you need to ask

for more help. That's a big thing. That's probably the biggest thing that I see that moms, after they give birth, they won't ask for more help. They want to do everything themselves. Stop it. Stop. Stop, vacuuming. Stop folding your laundry. It's fine. Don't do it. Let other people do it or don't do it at all. Don't try to keep it all together. Don't try to lose weight right away. Don't worry. Don't do the things that don't have to be done. So maybe all those things are true. But also don't make yourself even more anxious with trying to diagnose yourself with something when maybe it's not really a diagnosis. It is very, very normal, very common. And I think very okay. for you to go through a period of emotional adjustment, not just because, wow, you've had so much physical change over the past few months and over just the past few days if you just gave birth. Oh my gosh, your hormones are everywhere. And not just that, but there's a lot of emotions that don't even have to do with hormones

that come with giving birth. Oh, my goodness, that's such a significant period in your life. There's probably a lot of pain, maybe a lot of hardship, a lot of stress, a lot of adrenaline, a lot of maybe fear, and then a whole lot of happiness and a whole lot of love and a whole lot of connection. Like, no matter what you're going through, if you have a combination of all of those things within like a 24-hour period, that is going to be very significant. That's going to do something to your system. So if you feel a little bit jarred after that, add on top of that all of the hormones that change like when your baby and sorry, a little graphic for the guys,

but your placenta leaves your body and then you immediately start producing milk and breastfeeding, there is so much hormonal change that has to come from that. And again, that's normal. And then you're recovering possibly from an epidural. Maybe you're recovering from a C-section. You've got medication, pain medication that maybe you're dealing with. You're still dealing with the pain after effects of that, whether it was a natural birth or whether it was a C-section, whatever it was.

And then you're dealing with a lack of sleep. You might be dealing with the pain of breastfeeding. or the stress of breastfeeding. And then you're also, maybe you have other kids. And they don't understand. They need you just as much. They want to, you know, they want to be cuddled. They want to be held.

They want to be fed. And then depending on your financial situation, there are so many factors. There's so much that goes on. So if you feel a little sad or really sad, like if you feel stressed, if you feel tired, because you're not sleeping, all of those things are normal. I'm not saying that they're okay and that they feel good or that you should just ignore them. You should be taking stock of your emotions. However, okay?

So here's where I get to something else. There is a difference. I believe, in my amateur opinion, between that and the very normal ups and downs, emotional ups and downs, physical ups and downs of postpartum, which, by the way, don't just last for three days. They don't just last for three months. I think postpartum is like a year plus, by the way. I really do.

I think that that whole like hormonal, mental, emotional, even spiritual, physical adjustment period lasts for a year plus. depending on how your birth went and stuff. But there is a difference between that, which I think is normal and should be dealt with in a variety of ways that maybe don't have to do with medication at all or even professional help at all. And then the depression, the psychosis, the anxiety that gets to the point to where it is debilitating.

You literally cannot stop crying. you don't even feel like you can leave the house because you are so anxious about something happening to your child. You start having psychotic episodes or psychotic thoughts about harming yourself or harming other people. You feel this, unfortunately, this has happened to women. I personally haven't experienced these things, but this has happened to women, women who are good moms, women who are Christians, women who are very stable people. Something happens in postpartum. And they are mean to their families. They feel an aversion towards the people who love them. They become very angry. They start acting out and saying things that are totally not in line with

their character. So postpartum depression, anxiety, psychosis are real things where these things become so overwhelming, so persistent, consistent, debilitating, and seemingly unfixable, even when the external factors are all kind of like put into place and all of that, that may need professional help. And it's really important to know that there should not be embarrassment when it comes to seeking professional help for those things. There should not be shame when it comes to naming what you actually have. And you know, sometimes hindsight is 2020 and you don't realize that you're in one of those, that you have one of those diagnoses or you have something like that. And now I'm not someone who is going to say, this just depends on case by case.

And I'm really glad that I don't have the authority and don't claim the authority to this. I'm not even saying that like medication is always necessary in those cases. I don't know. That depends. There are a lot of different opinions on that. And obviously you have to go to your provider and see about that. But I'm just saying those things do need to be a dream. rest. They need more help. They need serious attention. And you need more than anything in that moment when you realize, this has gone too far. I can't even be a mom. I can't even, I don't want to get up. I can't even live my life right now. I can't even function at all like a normal human. This is more than just baby blues. You need, first of all, someone else beside you to take that

seriously, very seriously. And to say, don't worry, we love you. You are a great mom. And we are going to get you the help that you need. Looking back at my last two birth, as I'm recording this, I don't know when it's going to come out. I'm pregnant, so I haven't had my third baby yet. But looking back at my first two births, I realized that my first one, I don't know, I still don't know if I had official postpartum depression and anxiety. But comparing now, now that I can compare after my first birth and after my second, I realize

that how I felt after my first birth, I was really, really low. And I think I just thought that it was baby blues. And now looking back at how much I was crying, how debilitating my anxiety was, how constantly scared I was that something was going to happen to my baby, that I was one of those people that did not want to drive in the car, I was one of those people that did not want to leave my house, I was one of those people that was so scared that someone was going to touch her and get her sick. I was so like germophobic, which, okay, that's okay, I guess to some degree you do want to protect your

child from those things. But it was to the point to where I like could not enjoy anything. I couldn't enjoy other people interacting with my child. I couldn't enjoy leaving my child and resting and doing what I needed to do. Like I was so scared to go to church. I was so scared to do anything and I was so sad. Not about motherhood. I did with both my children. I had that instant connection of just overwhelming love. And I know some people like struggle with that depending on how the birth went. It just kind of depends. I never suffered from that. I had the immediate love, the immediate connection, the immediate feeling of just like protection and overwhelming care for this little person. But with my first, I was so, so anxious

and just so down. And I think I had like a traumatic birth that didn't go how I wanted it to. So that certainly played into it. And then with my second, like I felt good physically. Maybe that was part of it. Physically, I felt really good after my second one, like the day off. And that wasn't true with my first. I dealt with like a lot of pain in my recovery with my first.

With my second, I really didn't. But I also emotionally, like I felt fine. Like my husband noted like right after. I had the second like, wow, like you are different. This is like just your posture. You're so much more, you're so much more okay than after our first, even like how I was walking, how I was talking, how I was dealing with things. And I didn't go through that constant like, oh my gosh, I can't leave the house. Oh my gosh. I don't know what to do. Oh my gosh. I'm so sad. And everything reminds me of like my birth and I'm so sad. Like I didn't have that after my second. And it wasn't until I had that

postpartum experience that I looked back at my first and said, oh, that was a lot more difficult. Maybe that wasn't normal. Maybe it was PPD or PPD slash A. I don't know. I'm still not sure. But there are variations. So I'll just, I'll just say that. But I also didn't realize, and this is something that y'all can look into. I don't have the study in front of me, but potosin. That's the synthetic form of oxytocin, which is what your body is creating. And lots of different situations, but requires for birth and your body naturally creates it. But potocin is something that they can give you intravenously to cause contractions, whether you are after birth, whether you're trying to eject the placenta or after birth, if they're trying to get you to stop bleeding or during

birth, like if you're getting induced and you need help contracting to get the baby out. Potocin can actually increase your chances of postpartum depression. I don't know exactly scientifically why that is. I'm guessing it's just inserting a synthetic hormone into your body. It can have a particular reaction, a particular response. With my first child, I had petosin. Not very much of it, but I had it for a few hours. With my second, I didn't at all. So I don't know if for me that was, that was a contributor or if it was just my second child and that's just, you know, how I, you know, It was just easier because you're like, oh, I have a track record now of keeping a human alive. Great.

I think I can do it a second time or what it was. So anyway, that's my long-winded dancer about post-partum depression and my personal experiences. We'll see what it's like with my third. I'll let you all know when we're back in action. But yeah, I would just encourage you. One, to not dwell on it too much if you just have like normal baby blues. but two, to take stock of your emotions and to take stock of your thoughts and to take stock of

like how you're really doing and have someone in your life, whether it's your spouse, whether it's your mom, whether it's your sister or close friend that is helping you keep stock. And look, if you're about to give birth, maybe go ahead and tell that person now, whoever your person is. Hey, like, I'm going to need you to be kind of like, I need you to like watch out for me. I need you to observe. I need you to like make sure that I'm doing okay because you might not always be the best indicator of that because sometimes we're too close to things to see them how they are. So you need someone to be able to zoom out who really knows you who's like, yeah, I don't think you're okay or yeah, I think that you're fine.

Especially if someone knew you in your last births and things like that. So that's what I would encourage. All right. Next question. Okay, so we talked about birth. Let's talk about death for a second. cremation versus burial. I don't really have a strong opinion on this.

The Catholic Church for a while was, I'm not Catholic, but I know that they were for a while totally against cremation because of the doctrine or because of the biblical passage about the resurrection of the bodies. But I'm not, I don't think that that is a good reason. Maybe that's not the only reason for, that's not the only reason that the Catholic Church had. So I'm not saying that. but I still see people Protestant or Catholic kind of saying that today about the resurrection of the bodies and that we shouldn't be cremated because of that or it's just like a destruction

of the body. And so it's disrespectful to image bears and to the design that the body has made. You know, I don't I don't know anyone of my family who has been cremated. I don't know anyone of my family who wants to be cremated. I don't necessarily think that that's the best. option, but I'm not saying that there's biblical foundation for that or that I'm like authoritative on that. That's just kind of an opinion that I have that I don't know. I don't think I would want to destroy the body. But I'm not worried at all about the resurrection of the bodies. Look, there are people who, I mean, there are martyrs who were burned to life. So they were basically cremated. And there are people who die in all kinds of terrible accidents where their

bodies are basically destroyed. I think the power of God, if he can raise people from the dead, like he can make beauty and human form from ashes, right? We know that the power of God can do that. So I'm not worried for that reason. Personally, though, and I'm sure there are some other reasons that people had, I would not do cremation. What's your favorite podcast? So I'm going to tell, I'm going to let you in on a secret that we podcasters have, is that we don't really listen to other podcasts very often. Now, I love. There are other podcasts that I love.

I do not listen to any podcast daily. It takes a freaking long time to get ready for this podcast and then to record this podcast. And sometimes we're recording multiple podcasts in a day because I got to go out of town. I get something to do or I got maternity leave. And so that's multiple hours of my day. I don't typically, and then after that, like I'm, I'm full on doing other things. I'm full on mom. And so I just don't have time.

People who like listen to podcasts and like mother at the same time, more power to you. I cannot, I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't multitask like that. I got to put my brain to like one thing at a time. And so, yeah, that part just not possible for me. So I will listen if there's like, I'll, like, I'll, listen to Megan Kelly's podcast, which is amazing. I will listen sometimes to Ben Shapiro's podcast.

I'll listen sometimes to Al Muller's podcast. I'll listen to R.C. Sproul's podcast. I'll listen to Elizabeth Elliott's podcast. Or if there's a specific podcast episode that someone sends me, I will listen to that. But typically it's, I don't listen to a podcast episode unless it's like, ooh, this is a subject that I really want to hear explained or that I need broken down or I want to hear this particular person's take on that. So, I mean, there's a wide variety of people that I would listen to for that. I mean, there are different podcasts at Blaze TV. There are other, the other podcasts at the Daily Wire. I've probably listened to like all of these podcasts, at least a few times. It just depends. It depends on what that person's talking about. It depends on what I want to

know. Sometimes I'll listen to Joe Rogan's podcast. If it's a guest that I really want to hear from, very rarely listen to the whole thing, just to be honest. So yeah, that's a lot. That's, And I would say that is true of most podcasters. And we all support each other. Liz Wheeler and I were talking about this the other day. Love your stuff. Support you. High five.

Great. I don't listen to you very much. And it's not because we're not fans. It's just because we don't have time in the day. So, yeah, it just depends on the topic. Honestly, as far as listening to podcasts, because I'm probably like your average podcast listener. because there are the avid podcast listeners, but that's not very many people. I saw a Pew

research thing the other day that was like only 20% of Americans even ever listen to podcasts and a much smaller percentage of that listen to a podcast every day, like 5% of that 20%. Yeah. So not very many people listen to a podcast. And it's amazing to me how many people listen to this podcast every single day. And you listen to other, some of you, listen to other podcast too, which is incredible. I also, if I'm going to listen to one, I turn it on 1.5 times or two times. I don't know what that says. I feel like that's probably a bad indication of how your brain works, not a good indication. I don't think it's an indication that, wow, you're so smart and you can process things so fast. I think it means you have a short attention span. And now if I try, I can't do it

with Ben Shapiro. Ben Shapiro's already talking it two times. So if I try to speed him up, I can't understand him at all. But like if I have to go back and listen to this podcast for some reason. I just want to like, you know, decide social media clips or see if there's anything in there that I want to, I don't know, point out, whatever. I will listen to it on two times. I cannot listen to myself on one times. I think I sound inebriated. I have to listen to myself twice as fast. And the fact, like, when you guys post screenshots of listening to this and it's on one times, I'm like so embarrassed. I'm like, oh my gosh, they have to listen to my what sounds like, like drunk alley.

But if it works for y'all, I know y'all think I talk fast anyway, which I don't think that I do. But it just depends. I guess it just depends. All right. Let's do maybe one more question. Let's see. How to reconcile relationships with family members who have hurt you? So reconciliation, I think, can be beautifully redemptive, but it is not always necessary.

for forgiveness. Reconciliation isn't always possible. If that person is hostile to you and your family and your safety, true safety, I'm not just talking about like your emotional state, although that's important, but I'm talking about like really they're hostile to you, then you do not have to be reconciled to them. Reconciliation is not always a necessary part of forgiveness. I think it can be. And God can do that. God can do that with any, like, family relationship that he wants to restore. He can. That's going to take heart change.

But it's not always possible and it's not always necessary. The important thing is for you to release that person from your grip of resentment and bitterness. And it's not because that person deserves it. They don't. But you also did not deserve the forgiveness. that God gave you through Christ. Whatever someone did to us, real or exaggerated, sometimes we exaggerate the offense that people

have committed against us, but sometimes we're right on. They really have offended us and hurt us in some way. Whatever offense that someone has committed against us, it is nothing like the offense that we have committed against a holy God as sinners. And if he was gracious enough, it's the perfect being that he is, to forgive us, to make a way for us to be restored, to be made new, to be made right before him, and to come into a relationship with him. If he did that to us while we were yet sinners, while we were his enemies, while we were scoffers, while we hated him, then of course, we have the power, the ability to forgive

someone else whose infraction, whose offense was much smaller in the grand scheme of things than the offense that we committed against God by being sinners. And so that reality allows us to realize, I almost said reminds, but allows us to realize kind of the position that we're in. We're not as holy or as self-righteous as we think that we are, that we cannot extend forgiveness to other people. And forgiveness does not mean that what they did was okay. It doesn't mean that we forget about it. It doesn't mean that we weren't impacted by

that betrayal, that rejection, that downright wickedness or meanness, whatever it was that they did toward us. It just means that one, like we understand where we are orienting ourselves rightly in light of who we are in Christ and the gospel of forgiveness that he's bestowed on us. but also like who we are in relation to other people and how quickly this life goes by. And it allows us to realize too that life is, it's much too short to be entrapped by bitterness and resentment, which are sins. We are not to be dictated by bitterness and resentment. And we are actually burdening our own hearts.

We are actually imprisoning ourselves. When we hold grudges, oh, I'm preaching to the choir. I can think of several people right now, not family members, but who have hurt me in the past, who I still, I'm like, I don't like that person. That person is not a good person. And I say that, you know, colloquially good person. Like, I still see that person acting a fool and just being a slimy human being. I have a grudge.

I have grudges. And I have resentment. I have bitterness against people. Because of the offense that they've committed to me, I have not allowed that part of the gospel to sleep into my heart and to realize there is really no reason for me to continue to hold that against him when God holds nothing against me and Christ. And also, like that bitterness is weighing me down. That resentment is weighing me down. It is making it difficult for me to live totally freely. It's difficult for me to be completely spiritually

liberated because that hardness of heart is still there, that heaviness, that weight that bitterness brings is still there. And that inhibits like a truly joyful and peaceful life in Christ. That's like a, I mean, that's a gospel issue in my heart and in the hearts of other people that hold that bitterness. It is like, it's about trusting the Lord too. It's about trusting in Psalm 37 that, you know, the wicked will pay one day there will be no more. And the righteous will live on forever because of God's mercy and grace and hopefully the person that we are withholding our forgiveness from, hopefully they will be counted among the righteous because of Christ. We shouldn't want their ultimate demise. But God is going to sort it all out. God is going to exact revenge where he needs

to exact revenge. God is going to take care of you. He is not going to allow what someone did to you to somehow thwart his plan for your life. That's just not how it works. That person is not that powerful. The power that they really have over you is the authority that they've claimed on your heart through the grudge or the resentment or the bitterness that you still carry for them. So anyway, reconciliation can be great. If you can talk to that person, if you can have a conversation where you really speak truth and love, where you don't compromise, you don't acquiesce, but you do show them that you care about them as a person and God can use that if he wants to use that and he can bring restoration there. But the most important thing is, is that we allow God

to free us from the bitterness and resentment that we are carrying because of the offense that they did commit against us. All right. That's all we've got time for today. Thanks so much for listening. We will be back here tomorrow. Hey, guys, if you love this podcast, please leave us a five-star review wherever you listen on Apple Podcast or on Spotify. And if you haven't yet, please subscribe to our YouTube channel. Hey, this is Steve Day. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual, and rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity, and reality itself. On the Steve Day show, we take the news of the day and tested against first principles, faith, truth, and objective reality.

We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort. We ask the hard questions and follow the answers wherever they leave, even when it's unpopular. This is a show for people who want honesty over hype and clarity over chaos. If you're looking for commentary grounded in conviction and unwilling to lie to you about where we are or where we're headed, you can watch this T-Day show right here on Blaze TV or listen wherever you get podcasts. I hope you'll join us.