Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 9 | Who Even Am I?!

Episode Date: May 9, 2018

Since this IS the "Relatable" podcast, I thought I'd peel back the layers and tell you a little about me, my walk with Christ, and how I landed on this career path. Many of you have asked for my story, so I hope you enjoy! And my apologies to those hoping for politics this week — we'll be back on that track next episode. I also take a few of your many amazing questions at the end.    Copyright CRTV. All rights reserved.  

Hello, hello, what is happening? It is Wednesday, which means it is time for another episode of your all-time favorite podcast with me, your host, Allie Stucky. And if relatable is not your favorite podcast, you should send me an email to tell me what I can do to make this your favorite podcast of all time. My email is Alley at the conservative millennial blog.com. Unless you are a liberal, then I can probably guess why you don't like it. but regardless of your political affiliation, you are free to email me and tell me your counterarguments.

I welcome your disagreements. If this is your favorite podcast or even if you just remotely kind of like this podcast, then you should definitely go to CRTV.com slash alley and see my weekly videos that I put out covering different things, faith, media politics, college campuses, et cetera. Sometimes I interview people. You can use a promo code. everyone loves a promo code. It's Allie 20 for a discount on your subscription. So you should definitely do that. Follow me if you so desire on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook. Please also leave me a five-star review.

Subscribe. Share this with your friends. That would mean so much to me unless again, you don't like it. Or if this is your first time listening, that's totally fine. You can reserve your judgments until the end. Okay. So class, who is excited to? about summer. I am. I don't even know why I'm excited about summer. I don't even get any benefit from summer like you amazing teachers or you amazing college students do or high school students. It's the same old, same old for me, except it's just hot. And let me just tell you, for all of you, people that do not live in Texas and don't know, Texas in the summer is not even like normal hot. Don't even talk to me if you were from Georgia or South Carolina.

Carolina because I've lived in both those places. I lived in Athens and I lived in Greenville, South Carolina. I've been to Atlanta. I've been to Columbia, which are basically like the sweatiest armpits of the south. And they still do not compare to Dallas Heat. Those of you who live outside of the greatest state in the United States have no idea what I'm talking about. See, because in Georgia or in South Carolina and probably in other places in the southeast, you can get in the water or you can go in the shade and it gets cooler as it should.

Like I feel like that's how science works. That's normal. That's like normal sun shade behavior relationship. That is not the case in Texas. In Texas, you go in the shade and it's like, oh, cool. It just got darker, but it's still just as hot. Great. You get in the water for a refreshing dip and you're like, oh, awesome.

I am in a boiling cauldron. It's great. I love it. Might as well just go grab my lufo real fast because this water is literally my bath. Super helpful. There's literally like no relief from heat in Texas. One summer when I was in high school, those of you who do live in Texas might remember this. It was probably like almost 10 years ago now because I'm old. We had a heat advisory for 30 days. If you don't know what a heat advisory is, Like, do not even complain about the heat to me. A heat advisory is usually issued when it is so grossly hot outside that people could die. Okay?

Like, their life could be over because of the sun. We weren't supposed to go outside at all during this heat advisory in high school, but, you know, you got to get tan, especially in high school. I remember trying to lay out and my body immediately, like, had these red welts all over it. Like, what the heck? Like, it's cookie and the freaking. oven down here. We have like five days in Texas, maybe of 80 degree weather, until God is like, no, nope, no. You shall no longer enjoy the outdoors. I mean, and when you think about it, it kind of

makes sense. It's like God made Texas the best place to live in the entire world. So he was like, you can't have it all. You can't have manageable weather and an awesome economy and no income tax. So here you go. Here's some insane property tax and $100.00.000. 50 degree heat from which there is no recourse. So you're welcome. All this to say, though, sometimes I go down the rabbit hole. You guys know this. I still love the summer. It's my favorite time of the year, despite the heat, despite the sweat that happens, like as soon as you walk outside. Maybe I like it because 4th of July is my favorite holiday, fun fact. And maybe because it's the only time of year that I have any hope of having any pigment in my skin whatsoever. Those of you who have

olive skin, like you know the struggle. If you're pale and you have olive skin, you are green. There's no, I'm pale and beautiful when you have olive skin. It's like you're either tan or you're on your deathbed. There's no in between. So I am looking forward to having pigment in my skin. I think we're actually maybe going to go on vacation this summer, possibly. We haven't been on one since our honeymoon two and a half years ago. So we might be doing that. If you have good affordable suggestions on where to go, please let me know our only requirements are pool, food.

The place has to have food. So none of those, you know, fasting resorts that you guys know about. Okay. And golf. Not for me, but for my husband. But fun fact about me is I actually did play golf in high school. I was actually captain. Yes, Ali So he was the captain of the golf team in high school, which is actually just a huge joke because when I was there, our girls golf team was so awful.

And I was so awful. But that's just some Allie trivia for you. So there you go. That actually does, believe it or not, lead into kind of what this episode of Relatable will be. an episode that talks about kind of my story, who I am, my Christian walk. I won't go into absolutely everything because we don't have 25 hours. But I do just want to give a little context about who I am because I realize I've never really introduced myself to you guys. Although those of you who have been following me for a while probably know, but I get a fair amount of messages asking just kind of about my background.

and, you know, people's stories are kind of long and I just haven't taken the time to do that. So I'm going to at least a little bit. I won't go into absolutely everything. Like I said, I spend a lot of time talking about what I think is wrong, what theology is wrong, what politics are wrong. And I guess I just want to make it clear that even though I have strong opinions on these things, on a lot of things, I in no way think that because I have strong opinions and I'm better than anyone else. I don't want anyone to think that because I talk about Christianity, that I think that I am some super Christian who has never failed or who does never fail. No one has ever told me listening to this podcast that I'm coming across that way or that

I'm coming across as uppity or anything like that. But still, I just thought it would be helpful and even more relatable for me to just kind of give a little overview on Allie. But if because if this podcast is truly supposed to be relatable, then I want you guys to relate to me, not just through what I think about certain topics, but also with my own story and who I am, because chances are we probably have at least a few things in common, and we can encourage each other by sharing in those things, like it says in Romans 11 through 12, for I long to see you that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you. That is that we may

be mutually encouraged by each other's faith, both yours and mine. Now, I don't say, see you guys and I might never meet any of you, but I do think it's possible for us to mutually encourage each other with each other's faith. So I just want to peel back a couple of layers so you can see some of mine. Because there's really something I think irreplaceably powerful about a testimony and someone's story, hearing how the gospel has manifested itself in someone's life in real flesh and blood ways. I love talking about theology and apologetics, but it's actually really easy for me to focus on intellectual analysis of the Bible, which I think is wonderful and extremely important. But sometimes I use that to distract myself from the heart implications

to the message of Christ. I think it's almost my defense mechanism in some ways against having to really dig into the deep parts of my heart and soul and kind of reveal them to Jesus. I mean, of course, he already sees them and knows that they're there. So maybe a reveal is as much, is too much of a human term. But you know what I mean. Allowing myself to go there with the power of the Holy Spirit to see the parts of me that maybe aren't yet whole or aren't yet healed, complete, aren't sure of themselves. And to be honest, I really don't like doing that.

Sometimes I would rather go read out of my systematic theology book that I have than get to a point in my communion with God through prayer where I'm really looking inside myself and reckoning with the discomfort of being rebuked and reproved and convicted and challenged and sanctified by the Word of God. I like knowing the answers. I probably even have some sinful pride in my capacity to learn and understand theological issues. But none of these mean anything, and I know this. None of these mean anything if they're used as distractions rather than as tools to bring us deeper into the heart of God, to increase our love for him to better our fellowship with him and with those around us. And that is something that I have always really struggled with. I have also struggled really with relating to Jesus, probably for the reasons I listed, rather than relating to God. I actually like and feel like I can relate. too weirdly enough, the character of God in the Bible, more than I can, the character of Jesus. And please, look, please don't get all seminary on me. Okay. I know that they're one. I'm not saying

they're two totally separate people. We're all Trinitarians in here, okay? But the Jesus depicted in the Bible to me hasn't been some like easy guy to accept or even get along with. I mean, he's brash. He seems really cryptic sometimes. He demands everything of his decisive. and he gets to the heart of absolutely every subject. And I think that has what has made me, and I think rightly, uncomfortable with him in the past. It's that he doesn't just settle for the intellectualism or the moralism that comes from the Pharisees. He is not okay with legalism or superficial holiness. He didn't care how much the Pharisees or anyone else knew about the law. He wanted to see them follow it with their heart. He calls the Pharisees whitewashed tombs.

because of their ability to look great on the outside with all of their holier than now knowledge. But on the inside, there was actually nothing holy about them. And he calls that out. He didn't think that they exemplified the heart of the law that they professed. In Matthew 5, I'm sure you guys have read it, Jesus totally busts up this whole idea that looking and sounding good equals being good. He says things like, yeah, you've heard that adultery is wrong, but even if you look at a woman lustfully, you've already committed adultery in your heart. He says, yeah, you've heard it said that you're not supposed to kill, but even if you hate

someone, you've already committed murder in your heart. What? What? So you're telling me that even what I think and feel on the inside is being scrutinized, what? So it's not just outward obedience that matters, but inward obedience, which is only possible by grace through faith. Anyone can be outwardly obedient. Anyone, Satan himself could be outwardly obedient. But inward obedience takes the Holy Spirit.

Jesus was concerned, is concerned with heart transformation, not just meaning a physical list of demands. That's why he says in that same chapter that he came not to abolish the law, but to fulfill. fill the law. It's not that obedience doesn't matter at all, but where obedience comes from is what matters most. Romans 4 explains this really thoroughly. You guys should read it if you haven't already, that it is by faith and it has always been by faith, even back to Abraham that has been our righteousness. Faith has always been our righteousness, not adherence to the law. And in the past, I probably would have considered myself, or at least retrospectively, I now consider. I now consider who I was a Pharisee. I think I still do in some ways. It's just a part of my nature like the

black and whiteness of certain things. I think I have liked the idea of being able to meet a list of rules or look like I'm meeting a list of rules and just kind of going on with my day. I think I've been cautious about Jesus in the past because of his obvious and adamant hatred of hypocrisy. And I know I'm a hypocrite. But thankfully, thankfully, through the sanctification of the Holy Spirit that is ongoing forever for the rest of my life, I am able to see just how incredibly, one, stupid, and too devastating it is and would be for me and for anyone, if we had to meet the standard of the law, that law that I think, think, think hypocritically that I prefer.

If things would suggest about morality and legalism and meeting the perfect standards set by God's law, there is no chance I would meet it. I am a total and complete and absolute failure, even at the good works I think I excel at. Like that verse, Isaiah 646, All our righteousness is like a polluted garment or filthy rags. Actually, I'm going to read that the whole couple verses there. it says we have all become like one who is unclean and all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment we all fade like a leaf and our iniquities like the wind take us away there is no one who calls upon your name who rouses himself to take hold of you for you have hidden your face from us and have made us melt in the hand of our inequities that is that's that's me and now look i'm not

a fan of going into the bible and reading every single verse and applying it to you i don't think that's what the Bible's about. I think that's the Bible is about Jesus, but there are absolutely certain passages where you, you look at it and you're like, okay, they're not talking about, they don't say Allie in there, but wow, that's me. And I'm convicted by that. That even the things that I think that I am doing righteously are absolute trash if they're not done out of obedience by faith. So I am so thankful for God's grace that even covers hypocrisy and self-righteousness for people like me who thought that they were just good enough to get by by pretending. I am so glad that Jesus loved even the Pharisees enough to call them on their

BS. But here's the thing. Here's how bad of a person I am by myself. And even in a worldly sense, even in a worldly sense, I have never had any right to call myself a Pharisee. I never really should have had any pride in my own behavior because I haven't been some goody-to-shoes my whole life, even after I became a Christian. That's how sinful my heart is that even though I have been utterly disobedient, even on the surface, I still have had enough pride in the past to think that I'm good enough in and of myself. How stupid? How idiotic do you have to be to have that much arrogance? I don't know, but it's possible in Allie's ducky. So let me back up. I said I was going to tell you my story and that was just

all kind of a long introduction. So I was raised in a Christian home and I know so many stories that you've probably heard, especially stories coming out of Texas and the rest of the Bible belt start like that to the point where it's such a cliche. I think some people make up different beginnings to sound more interesting, but I really did have a great life growing up. And I had Christian parents, and I am extremely thankful for that. We went to church every Sunday. I always knew, and it never really, really doubted that God was real. I always knew Jesus and his death and his resurrection bridge the gap between me,

a sinner, and God who was perfect. At least I understood that as much as I could growing up on a cognitive level. I went to a Christian school my whole life. I received a really good Christian education until I graduated from high school. But I would say that even though I understood the truth, and even though I got baptized at my Baptist church when I was seven, like pretty much every one of my friends did at the time, that there was really no relationship there. From a really early age, I liked to the Bible.

I love to read. So the Bible was intellectually interesting to me. And I even think I knew that it was inherently good and holy. But by the time I got to miss. middle school, or not middle school, high school. I guess I was just over trying to apply that to my life. I was kind of a typical teenager. I dyed my hair black. Yes, this is true. Maybe I'll post a picture one day. I listened to emo music. I had boyfriends that I shouldn't have had. I was totally disrespectful to my parents. I didn't like any of my teachers, which actually was true like most of my life.

I had no real relationship with the Lord, but I did feel conviction for sin, for disobedience to my parents, for lying or something, for going out with guys I shouldn't have. I did actually feel guilty when I was in high school, even though there was no semblance of a real relationship with the Lord. I remember trying to read my Bible in high school during those times and just feeling this awful heavy weight on me. I knew what I was doing was wrong. But I was still a stupid teenager and I really didn't change until probably.

my senior year of high school when that's probably when I started taking my faith seriously. It was probably partly because I wasn't dating an idiot anymore. I don't know. But I think a large part of the change came after I volunteered at this camp that's called Camp Barnabas the summer before my senior year of high school, which is a camp for kids and adults with special needs. And I do think that my heart was just abundantly softened through that experience. I think I realized, that one, wow, God has made me for more than just serving myself and he has actually given me a specific gifting for working with people with special needs. And number two, wow, this is how he sees us. A lot of the kids and the adults that I worked with were totally dependent on us for everything.

And even the ones who wanted to be on their own, could it really be? And I just kind of had a realization that that's exactly who I am to God. I am totally dependent on him. And there's really no point in trying to pretend like I can be on my own. And he sees us with total grace and compassion despite our imperfections and our tendency to rebel. And God is always patient with me, forever caring for me, never complaining that I'm a bird, not frustrated when I can't do things on my own. So I really think that that summer revealed things to me about God and a relationship with God that I had really never seen or understood before. Also, my brother has special need. So I think God just turned my heart around and helped me see things in different ways and soften me in a way that I wasn't softened before.

I can't say that I wasn't saved up until that point. I honestly don't know. Like I said, I was baptized when I was seven. I said the prayer. But like I said, in high school before that, I really didn't have a relationship with God. I don't have actually a specific day and time that I remember seeing the proverbial light in realizing that my life has changed. It's been an ebb and flow, honestly, where God has continually had me even in the midst of my own stupidity and my own rebellion. My senior year of high school and

into college, my faith became the most important part about me. I took it extremely seriously. For the first time, I found really what it means to find solace and joy in Jesus. My college experience, unfortunately, was just kind of meh. I struggled with. I struggled with. friends. I struggled with really being happy and feeling loved. First world problems. I am very aware. But I really had to turn to Jesus as my source of satisfaction. And I was doing that for the first time of my life. And I wish I could say that from my senior year of high school on, that I followed hard after Christ, like I did right after high school and that my life has looked like a picture of humble obedience ever since, but that would be a lie.

My three and a half years of college, I took my faith extremely seriously. I was chaplain of my sorority. Everyone just kind of knew me as this, as this, you know, really Christian girl who loved to read her Bible and go to Bible studies. But my senior year of college, I went through yet another first world problem, but it was a really bad breakup with a guy who was a good Christian. was a good person, but who I knew was wrong for me, but we had been dating for such a long time that I really, really struggled when we broke up. And instead of turning to Jesus during that

time, like I knew that I should have, I turned to all of the things that I should have. Boys, my appearance, I struggled with multiple eating disorders for a few months, to drinking, to going out, to really doing all of the things, all of the things that I refused to do for the first three and a half years of college. All the things that I judged other people for doing all the things that I swore I would never do. I started doing them. I became the people that I had once judged and I wasted months of my life chasing after the things that I knew would not satisfy me. I was not following the Lord at all during that time, even though I knew so much better and had really truly experienced the goodness of the Lord. But I knew just like in high school

that what I was doing was wrong during this time. I knew I was sinning. I, again, couldn't open my Bible. I couldn't pray. I was so empty during these probably eight months of my life. And I knew I was. And I wasn't doing anything to fix it. This lasted, like I said, until a few months after college when I guess I just kind of got tired of the hangovers and the worrying about what the latest guy thought about me. And honestly, I really, really, really regret that time of my life. I hurt myself. I hurt other people. I damage relationships. I was extremely selfish and reckless. Part of the coming into the light again after that few month period was probably based on me going to a counselor during that time. And I went to her specifically for my eating disorder. I had

gotten into the habit of throwing up my food. And by the way, I've never shared this publicly. So here we are. This was after I had attempted to starve myself for a few months. And guess what? You get hungry. So I decided that bulimia was the best way to go. And I remember my counselor telling me, you will die. You will die. This will kill you. And I just completely stopped. I needed to hear that. I needed to hear that I was going to die, that I was doing something that had really serious and deadly consequences. I think that was at least partly a tipping point for me and realizing that that's not the direction that I wanted to keep going. It's really crazy how in a matter of a year I went from being chaplain in my sorority, totally sold out to the Lord, to being in a counselor's office hearing that my sins are going to kill me.

But that's what Satan wants. that is what he does. That is why the Bible says that he is like a prowling lion looking for someone to devour. He is exactly that. Really the only good thing that came out of it was that I realized my own capacity for being an absolute fool and removed any pretense or sense of judgment that I had toward other people because I realized that we all have the capacity to be idiots, to wander, to do the things that we said that we would never do.

I had been a Pharisee for most of college, looking down on the people who couldn't keep it together like me, even though, even though I had been rebellious myself even before college, I still felt like in all of my pride, like those around me should be able to manage their behavior better when I was following the Lord. I was that quintessential older brother in the prodigal son story in Luke 15. but this dark season in my life showed me just how utterly capable I am of wandering, that I am not immune to the temptations of sin.

As I'm sure you've heard this quote, sin will take you farther than you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay, and cost you more than you want to pay. And that is true. That certainly happened to me. I was in a prison of my own making a place of perpetual pain and just superficiality and rebellion. and it was only by the grace of God. I realized how useless and what a waste all of it was, and God led me out of that. It is only because of the goodness and faithfulness of Jesus Christ that I was not irrevocably consumed by this worldliness

that I, through the incessant nagging of the Holy Spirit, turned around. And when I did, just like the father to the prodigal son, God came running. So I went from being the older, brother looking down on others for their rebellion to the younger brother desperate for forgiveness for my own rebellion. So I want you guys to know that so many of the things that I know you guys have probably been through, I have too. This is called the relatable podcast because

I am just like all of you guys. And for those of you who are younger than me in college in high school just out of college. So figuring it out. Listen to me. I'm just a few years ahead of you, but listen to me. I have been there. If you are looking for meaning and fulfillment and anything other than Jesus Christ and the fact that he loves you and died for you, you are going to come up empty.

I know because I've been there. Dating that guy, you know you shouldn't date because he makes you feel good sometimes. Been there. Obsessing over your appearance because you feel like it's the only. thing you can control, been there. Finding yourself hung over every weekend, maybe some weekdays, been there. Addicted, been there. Mine was an eating disorder, but fill in the blank with yours. It's not really any different. Surrounding yourself with only people who make you feel better about your sins, been there. Convincing yourself, it's just a stage, you'll get out of it and that you'll

settle down later. It'll all be fine. Been there. Let me tell you, at the wise old age of 26, how all of these things end up. Not well. They don't end well. Yes, I am extremely grateful that God graciously pulled me out of that time and that now I am confident in who I am in Christ, happily married and loving what I do. But if I had continued down that path, which I easily could have, one, I might very well be dead. Two, I would not have this career or maybe any career I would probably not be married. Who knows what I would have gotten into? Who knows? There is literally no limit to the misery I might now be experiencing if I continue to only live for things like partying. Seriously, thank Jesus. Thank Jesus for saving me from

that. So what I want you to know is that if you are caught in any of that, yes, you do need saving. You're not going to crawl your way out of it. You can't. You don't have the power to do that on your own. And the great thing is, you don't have to. That's the gospel. That's how good God is. He is faithful when we are faithless.

He is steady when we're all over the place. He's loving when we're spiteful. He's patient. He's kind. He does the whole grudges. His first order of business and repentance isn't to make us feel bad. Romans 2.4 says it is, God's kindness that leads us to repentance.

Not his wrath, though that very much exists and is a very important aspect of his character, but it is primarily God's kindness that leads us back to him. His absolutely relentless love and grace. I wish, I do, I wish my story was an easy point A to point B. I wish I could say I had a Paul moment on the road to Damascus and that I've been steadily following Jesus since then. I haven't. I don't even know what to make of those times in my life. Was I even really saved? I don't know.

I guess in some ways it doesn't matter. What does matter is that it's only by God's kindness that he's brought me to him, continually showing me how sufficient he is and how absolutely inadequate I am by myself. Ephesians 2 4 through 5 says, but God, being rich in mercy because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ. By grace you have been saved. Romans 5.6, while we were still weak at the right time, Christ died for the ungodly. Then two verses later, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. So Christ died for me, for us, while we were still dead in our sense. while we were completely hopeless and helpless.

So it is impossible that salvation has anything to do with us. And I'm so glad because I cover both ends of the sinner spectrum. Like if on the one end you have the judgmental, hypocritical, self-righteous sinners, and then on the other side you have the rebellious wandering, self-loathing sinners. I am both. I've got it all covered, all the sins on either side. Even though I haven't sinned every sin ever, I know enough of it. about myself to know I of the capacity to do any horrific thing apart from Christ, anything.

And maybe you don't know it yet, but that's true for you too. You and I are capable of so much worse than either of us are willing to admit. That fact, that reality is what keeps us grounded. That's what reminds me on a daily basis that I have no place to judge anyone. That doesn't mean I can't say when someone is right or wrong. That doesn't mean I can't distinguish between a truth and a lie. A true teacher or a false teacher, someone who has the fruit of salvation and someone who doesn't. But it does mean I have no place to condemn them as worse than me because of their sin.

It means I never judge someone as less deserving of God's grace or forgiveness as I am. I never judge someone as less valuable or worthy than I am. It doesn't mean you throw out all wisdom and discernment. But it does mean that my posture should always be one of humility of looking at the log in my own eye before I point out the spec in someone else's. Now, of course, that is not always my posture, especially in political media. I am extremely imperfect in all of that. Have I made that clear enough that I am imperfect, that I am not good apart from Christ? So I want you to know that, one, God is good.

So you can glorify him in hearing just how faithful he is to me and to you and to everyone. Number two, I wanted you to hear this story. So you can learn from me. It's always better to learn from someone else's mistakes than your own. So you can jot that down. And number three, so you can know. where I'm coming from. Like I said, I have strong opinions. I am adamant about correct theology. And if I said anything theologically incorrect in this, which you guys have called me out before.

Thank you for doing that. If I ever do that in the future, send me an email. That's fine. It's very possible that I could have said something wrong. So some email if you think I'm theologically incorrect. But I have a pretty low tolerance for willful ignorance. But know that in all of that, I know that I am very aware of my own sin, my own story, my own ignorance. And I have this platform not because I'm better than anyone, but because I'm learning along with everyone. And I haven't figured it all out yet. So that's that. I also want to answer the question of how I got into what I'm doing now, because I've been asked that quite frequently. So I graduated from a liberal Arts College with a degree in communication studies. I loved my major. It came pretty easily to me because

I've basically been majoring in communications my entire life. I have always loved reading. I've loved learning about rhetoric, public speaking, all of it. Fun fact, I was chosen to give my commencement speech at my graduation and not because I was valedictorian or class president or anything like that, but just because I wrote and delivered what they considered to be the best speech and was chosen by the administration in the class to deliver it. And that was such an amazing time in my life because I actually remember when I was on stage delivering that speech in my graduation. And that was probably the first time I just had this almost supernatural feeling or this spark inside of me that says, you have to do this for the rest of your life. If you're not doing this for the rest of your life,

then you will not be following God's call. So it was really delivering that speech, even though I had given speeches before that I, that I just, I just knew. I just knew without a shadow of the doubt that I would be public speaking in my life. I just think it's what God has called me to do. So I've always been interested in and I would say good, I guess, by my own standards, had communications, writing, speaking, everything that goes along with it. I am not good at very many things in life, but anything that has to do with words I'm pretty good at. I can memorize anything in like two minutes just how God made me. He was like, okay, I'm going to completely shut off the math and science parts of your brain because we need to make room for like 19 million words every second. So that's what he did.

And here I am. So with that skill said, I graduated in 2014. I went straight into PR after college. I moved to Athens, Georgia, a week after I graduated. I worked at a PR from there for about two years where I did not just public relations, but also social media strategy, which I was probably better at. I did not love that job. I thought that I was going to, but it just was not for me. Really, any office job is not for me. But I'm really glad that I did it. I'm really glad that I took it. I met some amazing people at my first job who are still in my life today. I learned things in that first job that I still apply every day in what I do right now. I've also seen both sides of the media having worked in PR and I will just say I am so glad that I'm on this side.

I quit that job a little under two years later for another job. I just got married then too, so lots of changes. But right before I quit, I knew I wanted to do something at least on the side involving politics. The primaries were going on. It was 2015 and I noticed how many young people around me really had no idea what was going on. I lived in a college town and I felt that even in pretty conservative Georgia that people really didn't have even opinions on the Republican primaries. So I started giving a presentation

about the importance of voting in the primaries to college sororities. I just emailed them and I said, hey, can I come give a nonpartisan presentation? And they said yes. And so I went and I gave my nonpartisan presentation of why it's important for young people to vote. So that was really, the first step in what I'm doing now. After I did quit the PR job, I had a few months before my new job started, and in that gap, I got bored. And so I decided to create a Wix website, a blog called the conservative millennial. I couldn't really tell you what exactly prompted me, I guess, the speaking at college, on college campuses. But I made the site and I started posting articles about the primaries that I had written. It was the beginning of 2016 at this point.

I did that sporadically. I then started my new full-time job. The articles were doing fine, but, you know, nothing major. I started a Facebook page and that I'd gotten like 300 followers by like maybe April of 2016, which I was really excited about. And then one day, a few months later, I had the bright idea to start making videos and posting them on this Facebook page. And at this point. Yes, there were people that, you know, Tommy Leran was at the blaze. There were, I don't even think I knew who she was at this point. There were people making videos on YouTube, but my desire to start making videos on Facebook was really more about laziness than anything else. I just decided I didn't want to keep writing articles. And I thought more people would watch a video than read an article

because maybe other people are lazy like me. So I did. And I just had my phone and I was in my living room. I don't even think I wore makeup in my first video. I don't know. But it was about Harambi, I think my first video was. So I would do that every few weeks. And I think maybe they were getting 10,000 views or something like that. Maybe. That's probably like the biggest one at that point. And I remember telling my husband at this point, I don't know why, but I feel like I need to keep going. I really had no reason to blog. No one took it seriously at that point. Not even my family. I didn't really either. I just felt like I needed to keep posting. So one day in October, I posted a video about how as a woman and as a Christian, I still felt that I could vote for Donald Trump,

even despite the moral qualms I have with him because Hillary Clinton was no better. Now, I don't know if I even agree with everything I said in that video now, but it struck a nerve with people because it ended up getting hundreds of thousands of views. So I kept going. A few weeks later, I had a video that got over a million views, so I kept going. And suddenly getting a million views or more than a million views wasn't even that surprising to me anymore. So that happened in a little less than a year. And then probably about a year, a little less than a year, actually later.

So beginning of 2017, my husband got a job in Dallas where I am from. So we had to move from Athens to Dallas in a matter of like two weeks. And long story short, through a chain of kind of random connection. I got hired by the Blaze and I started making videos there. All the videos I did at the Blaze, I didn't have like a producer, especially not in the beginning. So I wrote and produced and came up with all of my own content. And basically the Blaze was just kind of the platform on which I put my content and they were doing really well. I was at the Blaze for about eight months. I met one of my now very best friends in media. I made some other great friends.

got good experience. And then I got hired by CRTV, which is a part of conservative review where I work now. And I put out two videos a week on CRTV.com slash alley. I have this podcast once a week. I still have my blog, The Conservative Millennial. I try to write as much as I can, but I don't really, I'm not able to as much as I want to. My favorite part of what I do still is speaking, speaking to groups, whether that's colleges, businesses. I'm going to Ohio this week to speak to Marathon, the gas station company, political organizations. I love doing that more than anything else. I am also currently in the beginning stages of writing a book, which many of you have requested.

I am also on TV, usually one to three times a week, different news stations. So Fox News, Fox Business, HLN, randomly once in a blue moon, I'll be on MSNBC. And yeah, that's basically my whole life. I live really close to all of my family, my husband's family still in Georgia. Oh, yeah, I'm married. I have three animals. We don't have kids yet, but keep y'all updated. So there's just a little peek into who I am and a little bit about my background. I'm sure much more will come out as time goes on, but I thought it appropriate to let you all in. So, okay, I asked you all for questions and I got so many questions. I, only have time for a few. And if I don't get to yours, just ask me again next week. Okay, so first of all, one thing, a lot of you guys have been asking me about homosexuality in the church and transgenderism in the church. And I will do a whole podcast on that and possibly like be shown forever from political media. But whatever, I'll do a whole podcast on that. And I can't answer it

now because there's too much to say. So some people ask me about the Metball theme. first question where celebrities dressed up in this heavenly bodies theme with crosses on them. My opinion is it's sacrilegious, especially with their freaking boobs out. Most of them aren't Christians. I'm sure. I don't know that, but, you know, looking for fruit. It's blasphemous. But, you know, it's cool, I guess, because, you know, it's Christianity.

But if people were wearing hijab and Muslim garb, I'm pretty sure Hollywood would go up in flames. So, you know, just more leftist hypocrisy. But what else is new? Kristen asks, how do you not lose your mind with all of the crazy that's happening in the media? I try to pick and choose what I get angry about these days. There's a lot to be outraged over, but it's kind of a waste of my energy. I've got to take the news and doses and remember that God's in control and that Christianity and the church will be pushed further and further into the margins of society,

which makes the backwards thinking of progressivism that we see today so mainstreamed. It makes it very expected. So yeah, it's illogical. It's depraved, but it's what happens when people remove God from the sinners. So all we can continue to do is to speak truth and be faithful. We have to learn how to analyze, critique, and even change the culture without getting overwhelmed by it in the world, not of the world. Heidi asks, what are your workouts in nutrition and where do you get your clothes? Well, to work out, I've been doing bar for a long time.

I used to teach Pure Bar once upon a time. I loved it. I also cycle. I try to do a mixture of strength building and cardio, but I do not run because I hate it with all of my heart. I don't think people are made to run unless you're running from something. I ran a half marathon about five years ago and have barely run since. Nutrition, bad. It's not good. I don't eat breakfast and then I get starved and eat too many carbs in the afternoon. Not a great routine would not recommend it. There have been times in my life where I've been super, super, super. healthy, but now is not one of those times, unfortunately. Trying to get better. Close. Sales section at Northstrom Mack and Rent the Runway for TV interviews. For everyday stuff, I like Target. There's also this online story called these three boutiques that I like. I don't really know brands. I don't really care about that. My splurge is anthropology, which is insanely overpriced. Carson asks a few questions, but I'll answer one of them. He asks, when do gender roles become stereotypes of what it means to be a man or a woman? Great question. So I'm going to blow

your guys his mind right now. So I actually don't disagree with the statement that sex and gender are two different things because they are technically because there are certain aspects of gender that are not the same for all people of one sex. So I do also actually agree that gender is in some weighs fluid. What? And I do actually think that gender stereotypes can be harmful. Are you guys freaking out? Do you all hate me? Now, just slow your role for a second. Just like calm down, take a deep breath. Let me back up. There are two genders, okay, male and female. I think that there are certain internal, I know that there are certain internal characteristics of males and females based on biology that are true no matter what time period or culture you study.

Listen to Jordan Peterson on this. He makes it very clear. Women are typically better nurturers and caretakers, more empathetic. Men are typically less emotional, more apt to protect and have a drive to provide. Women usually talk more than men. Men are usually more task driven. That is true in general, no matter where you go, which tells us there are real differences, innate differences between men and women. No matter what the left says, no matter how many times they say it's just socially contrived. But there is such thing as a man who is more emotional, who is more nurturing, a man that can do ballet, a man that can be an interior decorator that doesn't make him less of a man. Same goes for a woman who likes to play sports and hates makeup. She's still a woman. But I do think it's harmful to tell boys if he likes to dance or drawing that he's girly. Or to tell a girl, if you like can't be, then you're a boy or you're boyish. I do think that's harmful and damages what kids think of themselves.

I actually think harping on the super, super strict stereotypes of men as football players, for example, and women as ballerinas, for example, is actually probably part of what can cause sexual confusion and encourage a kid to think, oh, well, if I like dance, then I must be a girl. I don't like that. I don't like a little boy thinking just because he might like dance. that he's a girl. He's not any less of a boy because of that. See, the left simultaneously says you can be whoever you want to be, but oh, by the way, if you're feeling feminine as a guy, maybe you should look into a sex change at eight years old. I mean, really, they're like pushing

guys and boys, little boys into drag. No, I say to some degree that there is some fluidity in gender in that being a tomboy or even a slightly feminine guy doesn't mean that you aren't your sex. Does that make sense? So I hope that didn't like freak you guys out, but I hope I hope you understand what I'm saying. That was my last question. And that is all for today. I got lots of amazing questions. Sorry I couldn't answer them all.

But I love you guys. See you next week.