Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 903 | My VBAC Birth Story

Episode Date: November 7, 2023

Today we're sharing the birth story you've been asking for! Allie gives a little background on her previous birth stories and how this newest one differed, as well as the journey of seeking a VBA2C and how redemptive it ended up being. We also share a little bit of advice for all you new or expectant mothers out there. --- Timecodes: (00:35) Intro (07:08) First birth (16:40) Second birth (27:25) Third birth (51:30) Reflections on VBAC & birth --- Today's Sponsors: Cozy Earth — go to CozyEarth.com/ALLIE and use promo code 'RELATABLE' at checkout to save 35% off your order! Good Ranchers — get $30 OFF your box today at GoodRanchers.com – make sure to use code 'ALLIE' when you subscribe. You'll also lock in your price for two full years with a subscription to Good Ranchers! Pre-Born — will you help rescue babies' lives? Donate by calling #250 & say keyword 'BABY' or go to Preborn.com/ALLIE. Help us reach Blaze's goal of 70,000 ultrasounds in 2023! Patriot Mobile — go to PatriotMobile.com/ALLIE or call 878-PATRIOT and use promo code 'ALLIE' to get free activation! Samaritan's Purse — demonstrate God's love in a tangle way by providing a Christmas shoebox to a child. Visit SamaritansPurse.org/OCC to learn how to pack a shoebox or build one online. --- Relevant Episodes: Ep 466 | My Birth Story & Biblical Motherhood https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-466-my-birth-story-biblical-motherhood/id1359249098?i=1000531117988 --- Buy Allie's book, You're Not Enough (& That's Okay): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love: https://alliebethstuckey.com/book Relatable merchandise – use promo code 'ALLIE10' for a discount: https://shop.blazemedia.com/collections/allie-stuckey

Hey, this is Steve Day. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual, and rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity, and reality itself. On the Steve Day show, we take the news of the day and tested against first principles, faith, truth, and objective reality. We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort.

We ask the hard questions and follow the answers wherever they leave, even when it's unpopular. This is a show for people who want honesty over hype and clarity over chaos. If you're looking for commentary grounded in conviction and unwilling to lie to you about where we are or where we're headed, you can watch this D-Day show right here on Blaze TV or listen wherever you get podcasts. I hope you'll join us. We are back from maternity leave, which means I have a birth story to tell those of you who want to listen to it. So that's what today's episode is. I will tell you about my last birth for those of you who are birth story lovers like me. This episode is brought to you by our friends at Good Ranchers. Go to Good Ranchers.com. Use code Ali at checkout. That's good ranchers.com code Alley.

Hey guys, welcome to Relatable. Happy Tuesday, our second day back after maternity leave. You can probably hear it. I am dealing with the after effects of a cold. I feel like I tell you that, like every couple months. I don't know. I need to strengthen my immune system or something. It's just the way it is. But I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm here. I'm strong. And yesterday, yesterday I didn't have to talk very much because we got to listen to the lovely Kat Von Dee. You guys are absolutely loving her testimony, the comments, the messages that I have received about the testimony, how encouraged you guys have been. I just love getting those. And I know, I know that you guys have been sending her encouraging messages to,

which I really just appreciate. So fun. So fun getting to have her in studio. So thank you so much for listening to that, for sharing that. So many of you have shared it on Instagram and for watching it on YouTube. If you have it, go back and listen to it. Also, before we get started in this episode, merch, we've got merch, new merch for sale. We've got Kroonak sweatshirts that you guys have been asking for. We'll put pictures up if you're watching on YouTube. The do the next right thing. We've got that rose colored. We've got that in Heather gray. We've got it in black and we've got it in navy. So yes, we do have colors for the related bros out there. We've got a cute t-shirt, a raise a respectful ruckus with our little flower character girl there. Super cute. So

lots of new merch, fall colors, sweatshirts, all that good stuff. If you are in a warm place like I am, then this can be a part of what I call your fall costume. And your fall costume is the thing that you put on when you live in the South that has no correlation with the weather, has no practical use. Like today, it's going to be about 80 degrees where I am. I'm wearing a sweatshirt. I'm wearing a sweatshirt because it is seasonally appropriate, even though it is not weather appropriate.

The weather actually calls for tink tops and flip-flops and a barbecue and maybe a pool party. But because it is November, and I want to. want to manifest the manifest and bring about autumn with what I am wearing, I will don my fall costume. So we will be wearing the cow necks and the boots and the jeans and the sweater, even though it will probably still be 75 degrees on Christmas. So the do the next right thing sweatshirt can be a part of your fall costume or if you live elsewhere in the United States where you actually have seasons, it can serve a practical purpose in your life. All right. Today we're talking about birth because when I pulled you guys on Instagram and I asked, do you want to hear the birth

story? The vast majority of you said yes. And the small percentage of you who said no, some of that small percentage is made up of people who then messaged me and was like, I picked the wrong one. So it's even a smaller percentage of you who said no. Yet if you were one of those people who said no, and you don't want to listen to this. You should stop listening. You should stop listening right now. It will not offend me. Birth stories are not for everyone.

It's probably not even for everyone in this room recording relatable right now because we have part of the male species in this room and they probably don't want to hear my birth story. Some people who have not given birth, they don't want to hear the birth story. Some people, some women who have given birth, they don't like to hear birth stories. That's totally fine. But you probably should have picked up on the title. to know that this is not one that you want to tune in for.

I'm probably going to get, because YouTube, it's such a crazy place. I'm probably going to get comments on YouTube saying, why are you doing this? I don't like birth stories. I did not like watching that whole thing. Listen, you don't have to, okay? It's a choice.

It's a choice. You do not have to. You can tune in tomorrow when we talk about Andy Stanley. You don't have to listen to birth stories. But some of you, if you are like me, you love a good birth story. I love a good birth story.

I absolutely love birth. I was talking to Kat Von D. yesterday. Her son is five years old. I made her talk to me about her birth story that happened five years ago. I love birth. Like, I love pregnancy. Sometimes I think about, okay, in the apocalypse, like if things really go down in the United States, like what skills can I bring to the table? Because I'm not very domestic, if I'm honest. I don't, I can't sew. my cooking is okay. I don't have a lot of non-podcasting skills. I don't have a lot of like 19th century skills that I could bring to the table. But one thing that I think I could do, if I learned how to do it, I could be a midwife or a doula. I could at least be an assistant.

Simply because I have thought so much and researched so much and read so much and listened to so much about birth and pregnancy. Obviously not a professional expert, but I know a lot just because I love it so much. I love it. I will never tire of my friends telling me about their pregnancies and birth stories and all that. Okay, so some of y'all have heard me talk about my previous births.

My first and second birth, I've given summaries of my birth story before, but a lot of you haven't heard it. I'll just give summaries of that because those are important and they're relevant to my third birth story. So my first two were C-sections. My first was a C-section really for no medical reason. And I feel very confident saying that, not because I'm a doctor, but because I've talked to doctors, I've talked to midwives since them, it really wasn't medically necessary. Also, if I sound a little bit weird just because I have a cough drop in my mouth, I'm really trying not to cough as I am telling the story.

But my first birth, I really didn't know anything. My first pregnancy, I really didn't know that much about pregnancy and birth. It wasn't really something I had studied. It wasn't something I was interested in. And I had a healthy pregnancy. Everything went smooth. Thankfully, there were no complications or anything like that. So it never crossed my mind that I would need a C-section.

I didn't really know why women sometimes had C-sections, but I knew what was a possibility. But I guess I thought it was just emergency situation. or maybe if you had some kind of condition where you would need a C-section, but I just didn't think that that was going to be me. Every woman that I knew, my mom, my aunts, my sisters-in-law, my mother-in-law, they all had normal births, just go into the hospital, give birth, no complications that I knew of. I just assumed that was going to be me. I don't think I knew anyone who had a C-section. So about the time of my due date, a couple weeks before my due, due date. I think my due date with my first was June 30th. A couple weeks before that,

my doctor started talking about induction, which I didn't really even know what that was. But if you don't know what induction is, there are a couple different methods that they use. It usually involves something called potocin, which is a synthetic form of a natural hormone called oxytocin, which puts you into labor. It contracts your uterus. And so potocin is given intravenously, and it causes your uterus to contract. your uterus has to contract in order to push the baby out of you. And so he started talking about induction. He said he likes to induce his patients, all patients, really for any reason, around 39 weeks. And I don't really know why, but I wasn't comfortable with that. I knew I was going to have a hospital

birth, but I wanted it to be as natural as possible. So putting something synthetic into my body unnecessarily just wasn't something that was appealing to me. So I was pushing it off and pushing it off. every appointment that I had after 38 weeks. He was encouraging me, you know, why don't we just go ahead and set an induction date? No, no, no. I'm going to see. I was getting checked. Those of you who have been pregnant, you know what I mean by that. I don't have to go into detail on what getting checked means. And I had no cervical progress whatsoever. And he acted really stumped by that. I was 39 weeks pregnant, my first pregnancy, and I wasn't dilated at all. And he thought that that was strange or he made me feel like that was maybe strange or discouraging. And so I wasn't really sure

with that map. And so by the time I was 40 weeks, by the time I hit the due date and I went to my doctor's appointment and he brought up, okay, let's go ahead and set this induction date. I never let my patients go past 41 weeks. I did. I was okay with it at that point. I thought, okay, wow, I've gone past my due date. This is a really big deal. And so fine. We'll set the induction for 40 weeks, five days. Even though I had no progress whatsoever, I wasn't, even feeling Braxton Hicks were going in to, there were no signs of labor at this point with my first pregnancy. But I was totally fine. I was fine. Baby was fine. There was no indication whatsoever that there was anything wrong or going to be wrong. But set the induction date. It was also July and it was very pregnant.

I was ready to meet our first child, our daughter. And so set that induction date. And, went to the hospital, did the whole servadil thing overnight. They checked me in the morning, no progress at all. And rather than giving me any alternatives, they said, why don't we just go ahead and start you on Potocin? They started me on Potocin. They did that really just for a few hours. And I wasn't feeling anything. They checked me. They said, oh, you've made no progress at all. Your baby is high. That means, you know, like high up in your abdomen, high up in the uterus. you haven't progressed. There is no sign of labor. Let's just go ahead and do a C-section. Now, again, this was not because there was anything wrong with me. There was not because there was

anything wrong with baby. Everyone was tolerating everything just fine. It was just because this doctor really didn't like his patients to go past a certain date. I didn't know at the time that it was actually very normal for first-time moms to go to or even past 41 weeks. And so I wish I had known. I wish someone had told me, hey, there's nothing wrong with you. That doctor made a few comments about my body that made me feel like something was wrong with me. He said, you know what? You're just not going to be able to deliver this baby naturally. Let's go ahead and have a C-section. I didn't know. I didn't know any better. If I had known better, I would have pushed back. Honestly, I would have left the hospital.

And the nurse was like, oh, I've had three C-sections. It's really no big deal. And if you were to ask me, I would tell you there's no way that you're going to birth this baby vaginally. And you know what? If you go past 41 weeks, you might have a stillbirth. Oh, my gosh. Well, you hear that. Your husband hears that.

Your first-time parents, you don't know anything. Of course. If you're basically hearing that your baby is going to die if you don't have a C-section, even though it was not an emergency at all. and there was no medical necessity for it. Of course, you were going to choose the C-section. I had a C-section. Of course, I am so thankful for my health, for my baby's health.

I'm so grateful for that. We were both totally fine. It was not a fun experience, though. You are numb from the waist down. Your arms are out beside you. You feel totally out of control. You're in this sterile, bright room, and you have these doctors working over you,

opening up your abdomen, talking about what they're going to have for lunch and what they did over the weekend, a very strange out-of-body experience that I hated every single part of it. I also hated when they got her out, they showed her to me. I was totally out of it, but I was begging them. Like, can you please put her on my chest? And so, I don't even know who it was, but someone yelled out. I couldn't see because of the curtain that's in front of you when you have a C-section. Someone yelled out, no. And I just, I just. remember being brokenhearted and, you know, they wipe them all down and they see how much they weigh. Finally, they put her on my chest and everything was fine. We bonded great. She was a great eater.

And so I'm thankful for that. But I was in so much physical pain after that surgery, so much physical pain and so much emotional distress too because things didn't end up how I wanted it to. And in the sense that I didn't get the birth that I had envisioned and something happened that I really didn't want to happen. I just felt so out of control. And it was a really hard experience for me. Now looking back, I realized I probably did have postpartum depression, just how much I cried and how much anxiety I had after she was born. And I loved her so much and was probably overprotective in the sense that I just like, I felt like I could never leave her. I was so scared to get in the car. I was so scared to go anywhere. I had a lot of anxiety and a lot of sadness.

after she was born, I think in large part due to what I would consider, in a sense, a traumatic birth experience. Hey, this is Steve Day. If you're listening to Alley, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual, and rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity, and reality itself. On the Steve Day show, we take the news of the day and tested against first principles, faith,

truth, and objective reality. We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort. We ask the hard questions and follow the answer. wherever they leave, even when it's unpopular. This is a show for people who want honesty over hype and clarity over chaos. If you're looking for commentary grounded in conviction and unwilling to lie to you about where we are or where we're headed, you can watch this D-Day show right here on Blaze TV or listen wherever you get podcasts.

I hope you'll join us. So all that to say, I knew I wanted a different experience for future births. I knew that I wanted something different. Like I didn't, I just didn't want that recovery, recovery process again. The physical pain, the emotional distress that I had, I really wanted to try to have a vaginal birth after a C-section, which is called a V-back, a vaginal birth after cesarean. And I didn't know really if that was possible. I asked my doctor, would you allow me to do this in my next birth?

And he said, I would let you try, but you would have to have an epidural. So I didn't feel the utmost support from him when I asked that. So by the time I got pregnant the second time, I did a lot of research, listened to a lot of V-back podcast. I knew I wanted to try that. So I switched providers. I switched to a group of midwives. They're great. I loved them very much.

They gave me really good care and listened to me and were supportive, like truly supportive of the V-back. I switched hospitals. They actually delivered out of a hospital. I thought that it was maybe, you know, the best of both worlds. And so I did everything that you're supposed to do to try to have a feedback. I did my research. I learned so much about birth and how the body is supposed to work that it's actually okay to go over your due date, that a due date is actually just a guest date and that it's normal for a lot of women to go all the way to 42 weeks in a healthy pregnancy. And so I learned a lot. I had a doula who was really supportive. The hospital that I was going to deliver at was really supportive. of V-backs. And so I went into it thinking that this is definitely going to happen. And we got close. We got close. Really, our goal was for me to go into labor naturally, to not get induced because that increases your chances of having a successful V-back. There are

some concerns that are attached to getting induced when you are having a V-back. There are reason is that potosin that we talked about earlier, it causes really strong contractions and it can place increased pressure on the scar that is on your uterus because of your past C-section. The risk with a V-back is something called uterine rupture. Because your uterus has opened before, it has a scar, it is more susceptible to tearing open. I know that's really graphic and kind of scary sounding, but tearing open when you are in large. labor. So that's why some doctors do not recommend V-back. That's why some doctors just won't do it. That's why some women won't do it because there is a risk of your uterus rupturing during

labor, which is catastrophic, can be catastrophic for the baby especially, but can also be dangerous for the mom. But there is a very low chance of a uterine rupture. It's less than 1%. So that's why people go for a V-back because the chance is so low. of that happening. It can be a very safe and very healthy option for a lot of women, but a lot of doctors want to mitigate as many risks as possible. And so they will not support a woman who is, it's called tolacking trial of labor after a cesarean. But I knew that I wanted to. The chance was so small. But I didn't want that tiny increase of a risk of uterine rupture that can come with using potosin.

So the goal in my second birth was to go into labor naturally. Now, I had been told by my first doctor that that wasn't going to be possible, that my body just didn't go into labor. And so I was really nervous about that, but I did. I went into labor naturally with my second, but it was at 41 weeks. And so I just go over my guest dates. And so I went into labor naturally,

but immediately I knew that things, it was not good. I was at 41 weeks and I just knew that this wasn't normal labor. My water broke and then I immediately spiked a fever. Like I had like a 104 fever and I felt terrible. I felt like I got hit by a bus. This was like midnight and I felt awful. And I was having contractions like every 45 seconds and they were exclusively in my back. Things were not going well.

Things were not going well. I really, again, wanted to have a natural birth. And I was, before I even got to the hospital, was like, I need an epidural right now. Went to the hospital. I was only one centimeter. But that was farther than I had ever gotten before. So I was kind of excited about that. But I felt horrible.

Felt horrible. Got the epidural. That caused my, that caused me to be dehydrated, which is a very normal side effect of an epidural. That also caused my blood pressure to drop, also a pretty, normal side effect of an epidural. I still, I don't regret getting one though because I considering her positioning and that's why my contractions were so bad, I really needed it. I needed it to relax. I was not in a good place. There was maconium when my water broke, which again is normal

at 41 weeks. It's not always an indication of something wrong. But my fever, which they tried to reduce with Tylenol and all that, that's what you do, caused her heart rate to go up, which again, is normal when the mother has a fever, the heart rate of the baby often goes up. And so her heart rate went up, they couldn't get it down. It was really high. And at that point, they did need to do a C-section. And so my second C-section, like I just have a better mentality about and more acceptance of because it was necessary. It was necessary for her health.

It wasn't, I don't know if I can say that it was an, like a life or death emergency. It wasn't because after they told me, hey, I think you're going to need a C-section, it was still a good 45 minutes before I was actually rolled back. And she was fine. She was eight pounds, eight ounces. So she was pretty chunky baby. And I was fine. And I think my mental and emotional state was much better after this, knowing that this was necessary. Also physically, I recovered much better after my second than my first. I don't know, know why. Maybe it was because I didn't have potosin. I wasn't induced at all. I'm not really sure. Maybe it was because it was a different hospital with different surgeons. Maybe the procedure was smoother. I'm not

really sure. But yeah, we recovered fine. And again, good eater. We bonded really well. And so some women who have C-sections, breastfeeding can be harder. Bonding can be a little bit more difficult for various reasons. I'm very thankful that that wasn't my experience. And so again, I was thankful. for a healthy baby, but of course, very disappointed that I didn't have the vaginal birth that I wanted and that I had been praying for and preparing for. I prayed so hard for it. It was really hard for me to understand why God wouldn't answer that prayer with a yes? Like, why? Why not? Why? Why? Why? Why did I have to have another C-section? And really, the hard part about this C-section wasn't the recovery since I was fine, but it was the prospect of having to limit the number of children that we have because of the risk that

repetitive C-sections have. There is a risk of various things. Placenta. Acreta is one of them where the placenta attaches to the scar tissue. That can be very dangerous. It's just not recommended to have very many C-sections. I know some women who have had four, but they typically say, okay, three to four, that's it. You shouldn't have more C-sections than that. And I don't know if we'll have more than three kids, but I didn't want that to be my limitation. And I still just wanted a vaginal birth. And if I'm honest, there was a part of me who also felt like it, I don't, maybe I felt like I had something to prove. I don't know. Like I felt like I didn't have the genuine birthing and labor experience without having a vaginal birth. I'm not really sure what it was.

really still wanted to experience it. So right after I had my second, I knew that one day I would try for a V-back again, which I knew would be more difficult because as hard as it is to find supportive providers at a supportive community around one V-back because of the small risk that it carries, it is even harder to find support after two C-sections to have a V-back. But my sweet menwife, right after I had the C-section, she told me, like, immediately, which this is so different than my first doctor, and I'm just so thankful. I hope she knows how thankful I am. She told me immediately, she said, you have to try again. She said, you can do it. You can totally do it, which, again, was the opposite of what my original, my first doctor said, who said, you can't do it. You'll never

have a vaginal birth. Your body just won't do it. He had no medical reason to say that. And my second midwife, she said, you have to do it. And this is the doctor that. you should go to. So I knew I was going to try. I knew that there were people in my life who love me and are concerned, obviously, about my health, would have a hard time getting on board with it. But I just knew. I just knew I was going to try again. So fast forward a couple years. All of our kids are two years apart. Fast forward a couple years. I switched to this particular doctor who is known in the area to be extremely supportive of V-backs. The hospital, same hospital, very supportive of V-backs. I actually had a friend who had just given birth with this doctor who had a V-back after three C-sections.

So I was like, okay, that makes me feel good. And so had this doctor, and I really missed my midwives because midwives were a group of women and all the appointments that I had with them lasted a long time. and I never felt rushed and they answered all my questions and I just loved them. So I didn't love going back into the OB setting and the OB office and just, I don't know, how sterile and quick and rushed it felt for this third pregnancy. But it was worth it to me if I was going to have this feedback after two C-sections. I really just wanted everything possible in my corner to be able to do this because I knew it was going to be tough. And so I did the things that I was supposed to do. I got a doula who was great. Love this doula. Super supportive and

encouraging. Every time I felt discouraged or felt like maybe I can't do it, she was always there to say, oh, no, it's not that you can do it. She would say, no, you're going to do it. You're going to have a V back that's going to happen. And I just appreciated that. Obviously, we didn't know exactly what was going to happen. And God is sovereign over all of that. But there was no harm. and her saying, you're going to do this. And I think that really helped my mentality. My husband, super supportive. As concerned as he is, of course, about any risk to me or the baby. Like, we really trusted the doctor. We really trusted the hospital. And he also trusted me.

Like, he trusted me. I knew that I could do this. And so healthy pregnancy again, thankful Lord, for that. No complications. Nothing like that. Oh, I don't think I said. I don't think I said with my second one, the reason why I had a fever was because I had something called Corio. So just an infection. And the baby was totally fine. But that's why I spiked the fever.

I had antibiotics after that. Thank goodness for modern medicine. So that was fine. So I didn't want to be GBS positive this time because that is what could have caused my choreo with the second one. So I wasn't GBS positive the third time. That was just like one less thing to worry about. But I still wanted to make sure that I went into labor naturally again because of the risk that we talked about. And so I'm like, okay, third pregnancy, I'm definitely not going to go over my due date. I stopped recording the podcast at 38 weeks, which I'm still, I'm so glad that I did. But thinking, okay, like, it could happen any day. It's definitely going to happen earlier because sometimes that happens.

You give birth earlier with every pregnancy, not necessarily. I mean, there are so many exceptions to that. I wouldn't even call it a rule. But it seems that sometimes that happens that women don't go as long with their subsequent pregnancy. So I was really hoping. I was like, this is going to happen. 40 weeks or before.

I want a good two weeks to nest and everything like that. My in-laws came in town, 39 weeks. God bless my in-laws and my parents. So, so helpful during this time. Okay, so we get to 38 weeks. Nothing. Okay, no big deal. I'm not even getting, I'm not even getting cervical checks yet. I got this 39 weeks. Honestly,

I'm fine, not going into labor yet. I've still got some nasty left to do 40 weeks. Okay, 40 weeks. I've made it to 40 weeks with every one of my children. That's a blessing. I'm going to see that as a blessing. Wow. Thank the Lord. There's a lot of women who would like to be in this position. I am not going to be discouraged about this. It was 108 degrees, though, by the way. So that might have been factoring into my weariness. But I was really trying not to get discouraged. My in-laws were there. They were helping with the kids. I was really just trying to, like, soak in this time. My husband and I were doing a lot of fun things. Like, we were going on dates. He would come with me to all my appointments. And then afterwards, we would go get fun food. His parents were so sweet.

They would be like, yeah, y'all just, like, stay out all afternoon. It was great. It was honestly, I look back and it was like a really fun, sweet time. But it was also a really difficult time because especially when you're having to V-back, you do kind of feel on the clock. And so I did start getting the cervical checks and I saw that, okay, things were moving along. I'm super excited about that. That, okay, I was dilated a little bit, effaced a little bit. Okay, things are happening.

But then we get 41 weeks. 41 weeks, nothing happened. I mean, every night after my due date, I was like, it's tonight, it's tonight, it's tonight. One of the nights my mother-in-law made this amazing meal with like homemade biscuits and this like crock pot meal. It was amazing. I was like, this pot roast is going to send me into labor. And I was so disappointed the next morning. I had a lot of tears during this time.

Okay. There were a lot of tears. There were just so many moments where I was like, you know what? It's not going to happen. It's just not. At this point, I'm going to either have to get induced or I'm, I'm going to either have to get induced or I'm just going to have a C-section. It's just not going to happen. I was so, I honestly, I remember a moment where just like sobbing, crying to myself, just thinking, it's not going to happen. And I just need to

accept that this is going to be our last baby and I'm going to have a C-section and, you know, it's going to, it's going to be fine. Thankfully, my doctor was really patient. He was totally fine with me going all the way to 42 weeks. He did not pressure me to get a induced. We did get sonograms and everything just to make sure that baby was okay and that was all good. And so he did say after I was 41 weeks and a couple days, he was like, you know what, let's go ahead. And I do think that we need to try to kickstart labor because hasn't progressed and let's just let's just see if we can kickstart it. And so we decided the plan of action was to do something called a Foley bulb and or a cook's catheter. It's the same thing. It's basically

like a balloon that goes in your cervix and then it inflates over the course of 12 hours. And it's supposed to dilate you to a four, to four centimeters. I was still only one centimeter at this point. And so the hope was, though, because we both wanted to avoid potosin because of that risk that I was talking about earlier, the hope was that I would go into labor naturally after that because that can kind of like kickstart things and then you go into labor and everything's fine. Or if we had to speed things up, we would, we would do potosin because you can. It's just a little bit more of a risk. So we did, we went into the hospital. They put it in and then you sleep or

you're supposed to sleep overnight and they're supposed to check you in the morning. And sometimes it falls out on its own if you start dilating quickly. I did not start dilating quickly. I was very discouraged by this process. For me, I know some women say the folly bulb is like really painful. For me, it just caused like cramps. I was, I was fine. It did cause contractions, but I was fine. And then the next morning, they checked me. I was only at a three when they took it out. And I was super bummed about that. And then we just kind of waited around to see if labor would start. But I was like, how long am I supposed to be? Like, how long do I wait here? They're like, nothing's happening. They're not giving me anything. And so I'm just here waiting at the hospital. I would really rather not be at the hospital. And so I talked to the doctor and I talked to a couple of the residents. Everyone was super nice. I don't really love hospitals, but everyone was like super kind and super supportive of our choices. And they all recommended that, you know what, it would just be easier if you just stayed

and we just started Potocent. My doctor really went back and forth. Like he's a really natural-minded guy. he's been doing this for 30 plus years, but he's, he likes to allow women to labor naturally, but, and so he really went back and forth. He was like, it's really up to you. Either you can go home and you can see if labor starts naturally, or we can start potosin. He was like, honestly, like, you're already here. We could just go ahead and start potocin on a really low dose and just like see what happens. Or you could go home and then we'll schedule your induction for, we'll schedule potocon. We'll schedule

Potosin an deduction for Monday. And we decided to go home, which was really scary for us. This was, I think, this was a Friday. It was really scary for us to go home because I was like, oh my gosh, if I go home and something happens, I'm always going to regret it. But because our doctor gave us that option, and I had wished that I had done that with my first. I was like, you know what, we really prayed about it. Oh gosh, we wrestled with it. We were so, like, anxious. Like, what's the right thing to do? Because both had risks. Both had risks. And so we decided to leave. And we actually decided to, I don't even know exactly why we did, but we decided to stay at a hotel that night close to the hospital. The hospital is about like

40 minutes from our house. And I guess just to like rest and relax and whatever. And so, we went to a hotel and then right before I was about to go to bed I was like I'm getting like I feel a little something I don't know it's not painful but maybe like tightening I think it's just Baxter Higgs like every 20 minutes and I was texting my dula of that she was like okay yeah just go to sleep so I went to sleep something woke me up I don't know I honestly don't think it was a contraction but something woke me up at like 430 and I was up I was just scrolling on my phone or whatever and then all the sudden they started to hurt. All of a sudden those like painless Braxton Hicks started to hurt really bad.

But it was still, it was like every 15 minutes. And we have this like contraction timer app. It might be called contraction timer. I don't know. I'll post about it on Instagram where you can like share. You can track your contractions. You can rate them from like easy to really difficult. you can put how long they last and you can share that live feed with your doula, which is awesome.

So my husband was doing that and they were starting to get really painful. And then they were starting to go closer together. I got in the shower. I tried to relax because sometimes that can slow things down. It did not stop. I was continuing to have these. really intense contractions by about 8 a.m. Dula came to the hotel. I was like, I don't think I can walk. I don't think I can walk anymore. And so I'm not really sure what's going to happen. I didn't feel

pressure. I didn't feel like, oh my gosh, I'm about to have this baby. I just felt like it was in a lot of pain. And my contractions were every three or four minutes and they were really intense. Well, we get to the hospital and they check me and they say, oh, you're still only out of three. that was what I was after the folly bulb and I was having all these contractions and my sweet dula had to remind me that does not mean that the contractions are meaningless that they're not doing anything it's still preparing your body to give birth and I was like okay okay so but this is I was like I need something I need something for this pain so all of my aspirations by the way of a natural birth they have not come to fruition I'll just give you that spoiler I guess I don't know I've

low pain tolerance. I was like, I really want the nitrous. Nitrous is, it's like a gas mask that they can put over you, you breathe, you take it off, and it just kind of like numbs you. So it's a good alternative to an epidural if you don't want the needle. And so I really wanted that. But they were like, you're not really in labor because you're still only three centimeters. And I was like, I was writhing in pain. All right. I was arriving. I was like, um, no. No. No. you are not going to tell me that I'm not in labor because I am. I'm having contractions. You see it on this little monitor right here.

And so they were like, we can't admit you into the hospital yet. I was like, okay, what would you like me to do? Do you want me to go to lunch? Do you want me to go get my nails done? Because I am dying here. And so sweet nurse, love her so much. She was so sweet. She was like, okay, like I can give you like something for the pain.

I don't even remember what it was. It didn't help at all. It helped none. But she was like, you can stay here and she came back. She was like, if you have progressed at all in an hour, then we can admit you. It's like, okay. And so she came in and I was like, listen, lady, listen, nurse. I said, if I have not progressed, I need you to lie. I said, I need you to lie to the resident and to the doctor right now and tell them that I have progressed because I need that nitrous. And so she didn't have to lie, thankfully. I had progressed. I had progressed in an hour to a four and a half, which I was super excited about. I was super excited about that.

I forgot to say also with my second, I had progressed to a five. So I knew my body could at least do that. And so they admitted me, they got me my nitrous. I was super excited. I and then I labored. Let's see, this was probably like, I don't know, 930 or something at this point, maybe 10. And so I labored using the nitrous for a while. and we turned the lights off. We had the worship music on. I honestly, I don't even remember these hours. These were several hours of just me and another state of mind. And at one point, though, I got so agitated because I was like, this nitrous is not working anymore. It's not working anymore. Why isn't this working? And it didn't occur to me. I'm sure my dealer, my husband said something, but it didn't occur to me that it was just because my contractions were getting stronger. I was like, this nitrous isn't working. There's something wrong

with the laughing gas. So at that point, I was like, no, let me, no, I didn't ask for an epidural yet. They, so they checked me and they were like, you are at seven. I was like, oh my gosh, I got to a seven without an epidural. I was so proud of myself. And I was so proud, thankful for my body that my body had gone farther than it had before. And they said, but we think that we want to break your water because the baby is still really high. And the water is probably preventing your baby from moving down. And so we think that when the baby moves down, you'll progress more. And I really didn't want to do it at first. I just, I just didn't want to. It was just another intervention. Besides the foley bulb, I hadn't, and I guess if you called nitrous intervention, I really hadn't had an intervention.

And I was really thankful for that. So I just didn't want. to do that. And I forgot to mention, sorry, this is all over the place because I'm just doing it from memory, but I forgot to mention my doctor that I had sought out and picked, especially because of his expertise with V-backs, he was not only not on call, he did not come in. He could not come in. And so I had a doctor who wasn't even part of his practice. His practice is known for being known for being pro-V-back. This doctor was not. I mean, that's what the nurse said, what the resident said, that she's not necessarily supportive of V-back. So I was really nervous with her. And yet, she ended up being incredible. She ended up being so supportive and so encouraging,

even though our first interaction about the V-back, she only told me the risks of it. And I wasn't really excited about that. She had a very kind of negative demeanor. But she ended up being really positive and supportive. I'm so thankful for that. So, but she also really wanted me to get an epidural because if an emergency happens, it's easier if you have, an epidural already in place and they don't have to knock you out entirely. But I get them pushing that off and she was fine with that. But she did recommend getting the water broken. And I don't really remember my reasoning why I said yes, but I did. But I knew that if I got my water broken, then I wanted the epidural because the water can act kind of like a cushion for the contractions. It can make it not as

painful when you're having those contractions. But I was like, okay, you know what? I think the nitrous has run its course. These contractions are getting really painful. I do want the epidural. And so I got the epidural. I was like, this is amazing. I feel like a new woman. I was chatting with everyone, whereas I had been like in another state of concentration for hours. When I got the epidural and couldn't feel anything for the waist down, I was like, this is amazing. Why didn't I get this when I first came in here? And so I got the epidural after they broke my water. And then it was like, it was really quick. I again started thinking, This epidural is not working.

I was like, what's wrong? What's wrong with the anesthesiologist? What's wrong with epidural? What's wrong with me? Why isn't this working? I was so mad. I was like, I need more, more epidural, please. And then the nurse was like, well, I don't like just check you.

I was like, I don't want to be checked right now. I just want the epidural. I would like the pain alleviation, please. And she checked me. I don't remember how many hours this was after I got the epidural. Not very long, maybe like two hours or something. I lost all track of time at this point. And she checked me and she like she looked at my dole and she looked at me and she was like,

you're complete. And I was like, oh, what? And so that was why it was hurting so bad because the after my water broke, the baby did exactly what the doctor said. The baby was going to do. The baby moved down and and then I was, she was like, I think minus two station by the time they checked. And she was like, yeah, you are like about ready to push. And it's like, oh my gosh. And so, the doctor came in and then all these residents and like students, not students, but I guess residents are kind of students. But anyway, they all came in, which is really weird. There were a ton of people in there when I was pushing, which felt weird. But I don't remember caring at the time because I was like, oh, my gosh, I am actually about to do it. I'm about to have a feedback after two C-sections. I can't believe it.

And so, unfortunately, with my epidural, which I really don't regret doing, but it makes pushing really hard because you can't push. I had a pelvic floor therapist throughout my pregnancy, which I highly recommend. I love her so much. I love my pelvic floor therapist, and she really helped me. And she taught me a way to push in a way that it is. is gentle and physiologically safe and effective for your body and for the baby. But you can't really push like that when you have an epidural because you can't feel anything. So it's really hard to kind of like flex the top of your abdomen, which is kind of what you're supposed to do.

You really are just instructed to push as hard as you possibly can for as long as you can and then take a breath and then do it again, which can cause injuries and a lot of problems after birth, but there aren't very many options when you can't feel anything for the waist down. So that's what I did. I pushed as hard as I could. My doctor told me that I was a great pusher. Great. Thank you. I don't know what that means, but she was out in just a few minutes. It was only like a few minutes of pushing, which I'm very thankful for. It was probably 10 or so minutes. And we didn't know the gender at the time. And then we found out that she is a girl. And they placed her on my chest and she was eight pounds six ounces so very similar to my second who was eight pounds

eight ounces and it was like it was such a surreal experience being there and being about to push and seeing them set up for the baby and like get all the things out and together for delivery. I was like that's for me that's for us like I'm about to do that. I just really had myself convinced even when she told me that we were complete, that there was no way that I could have a V-back. And we did. And so I'm so thankful for that. And I'm about to run out of time. There will be plenty of time in the future for me to, like, give more advice to you

and more things that I learned through this process. But I do just like, I want to say a couple things of just encouragement. Because I know that there are women out there who have had C-sections and you really want, a V-back and you're scared. My advice to you would be to find a supportive provider and a supportive doula. Talk to them, of course, about the risks and benefits and all of that. But if you can do it, then try. Try. Like, I really encourage you to. I know that that phrase uterine rupture can be really scary. And it is scary, of course. And it happens. But the prospect of that happening is really, really low and there are risks also to repeat C-sections. There are health risks, there are potential

future risks that you're taking with repeat C-section. So it's not like that's without risk or side effect. And so I encourage you to really consider it and to really try to find a supportive community around you having a VAT. Now, if you are a woman who will never have a vaginal birth or you're done having babies and you only had C-sections, some of you are totally fine. Some of you are totally fine with that. You have no problem with your C-sections and you feel no distress or anxiety or sadness or regret about that at all. And that's great. I'm very thankful for C-sections, especially when they're necessary. But if you do have regret, if you feel like I did at one point that, oh, am I like a real mom? Like, does it count? Did I have a genuine birth experience because I didn't have a

vaginal birth? And maybe you feel incomplete or you feel like you live with that regret or you don't even want to think about your birth because of how difficult it was. I just want you to know that having a V-back, having a vaginal birth does not complete you. Okay? I did it. I've had both kinds of births now. I don't feel like, oh, now I'm completed. Now I'm a real mom. Now, oh, my first two births are completely redeemed. I mean, I, because I always was. It always was a real experience. It was always a genuine motherhood experience. I still grew those babies in my body. Like I still delivered children, even with a C-section.

We still did something really difficult together through a C-Sycerian. That is a genuine experience. And God planned that day. God planned your children's birthday before they were born, before you were born, before time began. He is sovereign in all of those details. and while I like to think about my first birth and have so much regret and think that, oh, if I had just done this, then this would have happened. The truth is, I don't know. God planned that. He was in control of that. It happened exactly according to his purpose and for his glory, even if I still don't know the reasons right now. So don't think that having a V back one day is going to finally redeem all of your past traumatic experiences and make you feel like, you feel like you. like a real natural woman. You do not need that to be those things. Only Jesus offers redemption.

Only he can help us reconcile with our past, whether it's past mistakes or things that have happened to us. That is a spiritual issue and a spiritual journey that needs to be traveled much more than it is a physical journey. And while I do like to say that Veebacks can be redemptive, they can be in certain ways, but not nearly as much as I thought. It didn't change my life, I guess, like I thought it would. I'm still very thankful for it. Recovery was hard, though. Recovery is hard after birth. Let's just say that. Like recovery is difficult after birth. So I know a lot of you who have had C-sections, you think that if you had a V-back, the recovery would be so much easier. In my experience, that's not true. That's not true. This,

recovery was more difficult than my second C-section. So you're not missing out. I will say that. It's a beautiful thing. I'm very glad that I did it. If we have more kids, I will definitely be trying that again. It's a triumphant feeling, but I just want you to know that you are not incomplete if you never have a vaginal birth. Maybe some of you think that's crazy that that even needs to be said, but I promise you it does for women who have only had C-sections. And like the trauma, I know that's overused word, but that you feel because of your past births, it's not exaggerated. Like, it's real. That's your body. That's your baby. That's like the most intimate and vulnerable you have ever been, like, stretched out on a table with lights, with lights on you as all these people are overlooking you

and you're half naked and you can't do anything. Like, it's okay to feel sad about that experience and to want to work through it and even try to redeem it. But just a reminder that Jesus alone is the Redeemer. And whether you had a C-section or a vaginal birth, it's still delivery. And God was still in it. He was still in the details. He was still with you.

He can still use it for his glory. Okay. I got through it. I got through that without coughing too much. We made it. We made it, guys. I apologize for my voice. I was trying to get through it without coughing too much.

And so I was a little distracted, too. So I hope it all made sense. And I hope it encouraged you. I hope you liked to hear it. But find a chiropractor, find a pelvic floor therapist, find a supportive community, and try a be back if you can. All right. That's all I have time for today.

We will be back here tomorrow. Hey, this is Steve Deast. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual. and rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity, and reality itself. On the Steve Day show, we take the news of the day and tested against first principles, faith, truth, and objective reality. We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort.

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