Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 935 | Ballerina Farm, 'Breast Is Best' & Biblical Womanhood

Episode Date: January 17, 2024

Today we're talking about the newest controversy surrounding Ballerina Farm, or Hannah Neeleman, an influencer who sparked debate after posting about preparing for the Mrs. World pageant 12 days post-partum. We discuss whether this type of content is harmful to women and how we should see ourselves in comparison to what we see on social media. Then, what is the "Fed Is Best" movement, and what propaganda are we seeing among those who argue formula is just as good for babies as breast milk? We examine this and reveal the truth about breast milk. We also take a look at a Babylon Bee joke that has even fellow conservatives up in arms and why we all need to learn to take a joke again. --- Timecodes: (00:41) Beth Moore recap (02:56) The Babylon Bee's Vivek joke (13:15) Ballerina Farms (28:30) 'Fed is Best' (41:44) Benefits of breastmilk (58:35) Encouragement --- Today's Sponsors: Good Ranchers — get 10% OFF your box today at GoodRanchers.com – make sure to use code 'ALLIE' when you subscribe. A'Del — go to adelnaturalcosmetics.com and enter promo code "ALLIE" for 25% off your first order! Jase Medical — get up to a year’s worth of many of your prescription medications delivered in advance. Go to JaseMedical.com today and use promo code “ALLIE". Carly Jean Los Angeles — use promo code RELATABLE25 for $25 off an order of $125 or more, or RELATABLE50 for $50 off an order of $200 or more at CarlyJeanLosAngeles.com! --- Links: Allie's response to Beth Moore: https://x.com/conservmillen/status/1747459064391491639?s=20 Evie: "Ballerina Farm Is Facing Major Controversy Over Her Postpartum Beauty Pageant—Here's Everything You Need To Know" https://www.eviemagazine.com/post/ballerina-farms-postpartum-beauty-pageant-raises-controversy Johns Hopkins Medicine: "Breast Milk Is Best" https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/breastfeeding-your-baby/breast-milk-is-the-best-milk --- Relevant Episodes: Ep 934 | Beth Moore Has a Message for Trump Voters | Guest: Steve Deace https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-934-ready-or-not-here-the-election-comes-guest-steve-deace/id1359249098?i=1000641888019 Ep 931 | Out: Trad Trend, In: Biblical Womanhood https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-931-trad-wives-motherhood-is-not-an-aesthetic/id1359249098?i=1000641222336 Ep 809 | The 'Trad' Movement Isn’t Biblical https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-809-the-trad-movement-isnt-biblical/id1359249098?i=1000614038103 --- Buy Allie's book, You're Not Enough (& That's Okay): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love: https://alliebethstuckey.com/book Relatable merchandise – use promo code 'ALLIE10' for a discount: https://shop.blazemedia.com/collections/allie-stuckey

Hey, this is Steve Day. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual, and rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity, and reality itself. On the Steve Day show, we take the news of the day and tested against first principles, faith, truth, and objective reality. We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort.

We ask the hard questions and follow the answers wherever they leave, even when it's unpopular. This is a show for people who want honesty over hype and clarity over chaos. If you're looking for commentary grounded in conviction and unwilling to lie to you about where we are or where we're headed, you can watch this D-Day show right here on Blaze TV or listen wherever you get podcasts. I hope you'll join us. Fed is best or is it? We will be diving into this controversy today as well as other controversies centered on the popular Instagram account Ballerina Farms and another very offensive joke by the Babylon. on B. I will give you my take on all of this and more today. This episode is brought to our friends at Good Ranchers. Go to GoToDrinters.com. Use code Allie at check out. That's

Goodyrangers.com. Code All right. Welcome to Relatable. Happy Wednesday. Hope everyone is having a wonderful week so far and staying warm. All right. We got a lot to talk about. Yesterday, I did not know that my comments to Beth Moore would strike such a chord with people and that it kind of echoed what a lot of people really feel. I was just speaking to what I know about those who vote for Trump in the primary. As I explained yesterday, he's not my guy in the primary. He wasn't my guy in the 2016 primary. I did vote for him in the general election twice in a row. But I do think that I understand why people support him to a certain extent in the primary. So I just tried to explain that to Beth Moore. Not just in the podcast yesterday, but I also replied to her on on Twitter. and a lot of people seemed to feel that those words kind of articulated their stance and their perspective on him. So I hope that was helpful, just kind of giving words to how people feel. And I sincerely hope that Bethmore reads it and considers what I, what I had to say. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you can listen to yesterday's episode. You can go to

X and you can see my post there. Basically, Beth Moore indicted the motivations of everyone who, who votes for Trump in the primary, accusing them of loving bullying and loving verbal abuse. And I simply listed some of the things that Trump did well and accomplished in his last administration that give plenty of people reason to support him even in the primary, even though he does not live up to my conservative standards as a primary voter. And so, yeah, that caused a little bit of a stir. Beth Morris Post did on X over the last few days. Some people being really excited that she is waiting into the political waters again to talk badly about Trump and his supporters.

And some people, of course, being rightfully offended by what she said. But she was not the only one. She was not the only one to cause controversy on Twitter regarding the illegal. election over the past couple of days. There was a tweet by none other than the Babylon B that there that a lot of people are very upset by. I'm talking conservatives are very upset by that they think that this is just a bridge too far that it's okay when the Babylon B makes fun of AOC calling her too stupid to even know how to tie her shoes. It's okay when the Babylon B makes fun of all different kinds of people.

But when the Babylon B throws Trump or Vivek under the bus, then that is just too far. These are the same kind of people that will roll their eyes and other accusations of racism. But they called the Babylon B racist for this joke. And if you're watching on YouTube, we will put it up on the screen. And I will read it to you now. Listeners, Trump promises Vivek

an administration position running the White House 711. And there's the fake in his 7-Eleven polo. And then a 7-Eleven in the background, it looks like it's in the White House. All right. So there are multiple layers to this joke. So many layers yet the onion could never. That was my reply. So here are the layers.

Trump. We got him in the White House if he were to win the White House. Vovac, who has been an ardent and I would say almost unconditional supporter of President of President Trump. He dropped out of the race immediately endorsed President Trump. A lot of people are saying that he is vying for that vice president spot. I'm not so sure that's true. But some people who are critical of DeSantis and Vivek would say that he is simping for Trump. I would say he's just a supporter of Trump.

So that's one part of this joke that Vivek wants so badly to be in Trump's orbit. Some would say that he is willing to take any position in the White House that Trump would give him. And then, of course, the other joke here is that a disproportionate number of convenient stores, namely 7-Elevens, are run by people of Indian descent. And that is what people are saying is so racist. but it's not only that it's also probably making reference to the comment that was made by Joe Biden several years ago when he said, and I'm paraphrasing, that you can't own a 7-Eleven or a gas station unless you have a slight Indian accent. Yes, that was Joe Biden who said that. The absolutely barbaric racist in the White House, he said that you can't even own a 7-Eleven without a slight indian. Indian accent. So because of this multi-layered joke here, people are very, very angry at the

Babylon B. I saw a tweet literally from a professing conservative that said, you know what, I really like the Babylon B and I like Trump, but this, this calls for a public retraction. This tweet needs to be retracted because it is just so racist. It is just too far. Oh, here it is. Actually, it's in my document. I'm 100% trump, this person says, and think Babylon B is a national treasure, but this one is just stupid. You can and should do better. A public attraction seems appropriate here, but I'll still look forward to your stuff. Another person says, I like the B, but this was in poor taste.

Tim Young says, so is the joke that Trump values him so poorly that he only sees him as a clerk at 7-Eleven? Or that you think he's a clerk at 7-11 because of a tired stereotype about Indian people? You're almost there. this is not funny but I guess to each their own these types of jokes aren't helpful someone else says look the bee punches at everyone are we really that humorless that we can't take something like this uh lightly that we can't approach this in a lighthearted way and refuse to be offended on behalf of someone else i don't think the vague ramaswamy is offended by this he seems like someone who can take a joke he seems like someone who

doesn't take himself too seriously. I think that that is a great virtue that all of us should try to dawn ourselves. He actually quote tweeted Matt Walsh, who had quote tweeted the joke. So Matt Walsh said, check the comments to see, quote unquote, conservatives actually offended by this joke, absolutely pathetic. I guarantee Vovake Ramoswamy is not in the slightest bit offended. You guys really don't need to be his white knight to protect him from the Babylon B. completely agree with Matt Walsh. And Vovac Vak Ramoswami said, I'm a quote, unquote, survivor. crying, laughing. Of course he took this into stride because this is silly. And by the way, how is this racist? It is a fact that a lot of convenience stores, a lot of 7-Elevens are owned by

Indian people, by people of Middle Eastern descent. Is that a bad thing? You're making pretty good money if you're owning a successful, a popular 7-Eleven. Actually, I would say the people who are saying, oh, this is racist. It actually, it actually speaking. So what you think about the type of job that owning a 7-Eleven is. Why is that derogatory? Why is that demeaning? Is there anything wrong with that job? No, that means that there is a disproportionate number of Indian entrepreneurs that happen to own convenience stores in America.

There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with owning a convenience store. And so, yeah, there are multiple layers to this joke. And part of it does include the fact that Vivek is Indian. There's nothing wrong with him being Indian. No one said that. Oh my gosh. This was such an innocuous joke.

This was such a, this was such a soft punch. The fact that people, because they feel like they have to, I don't even think it's white night for Vivek, but white night for Trump. the fact that they have to say this is racist, this is discriminatory, this is just a bridge too far. Come on. We are not going to survive 2024 if we think that this is as bad as it gets. If we cannot laugh together, if we cannot make fun of politicians together, then we're not, we're not going to make it. We're not going to make it in 2024. Look, we're going to have to be able to scrutinize in a very innocent, light-hearted way, the people in charge, the people

running for president, the people in the White House. It just is what it is. None of these people would have been offended if this had been a joke about Nikki Haley, if this had been a joke about Kamala Harris, a similar joke. Like, do you honestly think that these people would have been upset if this were a joke about Kamala Harris? owning a 7-Eleven or something similar? No, of course they wouldn't be. It is just because they feel like they have to defend Donald Trump and anyone associated with him that they cannot take a joke.

If you don't think it's funny, that's fine. You don't have to find all jokes funny. But really, I mean, to basically become a progressive in your defensive Trump that you cannot take a joke, that's just silly. And I guarantee you, I guarantee you the battle on B will not be, issuing a public retraction. Oh my goodness. How ridiculously disappointing would that be if they were like, yes, the 7-11 joke about Vivek Ramaswami. That was the bridge too far. And we now apologize.

And we will cease to be funny in any way that offends anyone. Oh my goodness, guys. Oh, my goodness. Let's lighten up a little bit. Okay. We got a long way to go in 2024. We're going to have to tell a lot of jokes and laugh about a lot of things. Okay. So, Let's get the panties out of a wad and laugh. All right. We have more controversy to talk about. We're going to switch from X to Instagram and from the political realm to, I guess, the more influencer motherhood realm. And I am going to say some things that are a little bit controversial, I think, about postpartum and breastfeeding.

So buckle up. Okay. Let's talk about Ballerina Farm. Now, a lot of you listening to this podcast probably know exactly who she is. I think we've talked about her once or twice before. And some of you have no idea what I'm talking about. Hannah Nealman, she is an Instagram influencer. She's a business owner.

She is a mom of, I want to say, eight children now. She has also Mrs. America or has been Mrs. America in the past. She won the title of Mrs. American. Mrs. Ameri Ken in 2020, she boasts about 8.5 million followers on Instagram. So that's why we are talking about this person with such great influence. And because she is a mother of eight and she is a homemaker, they live on a farm and they sell product from their farm, including flower arrangements. And I think different food products as well, she has garnered a large audience of moms and

of Christian moms. Now, Hannah and her family, they are, they're LDS, they're Mormon, but a lot of evangelicals follow her because of the life. I don't want to say life hacks, but I would say tips that she gives when it comes to cooking, when it comes to child rearing. And not only that, but also like just the aesthetic of her life. She is extremely beautiful. Her family is beautiful.

The life that they have built on this farm is very beautiful. and so I think it's just fun for people to follow. It kind of brings them back to a time when things are simpler. And in an age where, especially since COVID, more people are trying to homestead, they're trying to live off the land, they're trying to simplify their lives and homeschool and things like that. This is a very appealing account. Plus, she is a very impressive person because of everything that she has been able to

accomplish with so many children. Now, some people have pointed out, that her life isn't necessarily attainable for most people because they have inherited a lot of wealth from her father-in-law. Her father-in-law founded JetBlue. And so some people have said, well, they probably have millions of dollars at their disposal. It's not like they came from nothing. I don't know that she's ever claimed that they came from nothing, though. So I personally don't think that's something to criticize. So what? They started with a lot of money, maybe. And they were able to establish this farm because of the money that they've inherited.

I have no problem with that, no problem with success. So I don't think we should envy that or compare ourselves to people in different situations. That's totally fine. That's not the only controversy she has garnered though or not the only criticism she has garnered. She is now receiving criticism because of what some people are calling unrealistic expectations or unrealistic standards for postpartum. So she just had her eighth baby. She births her babies at home. And so she birthed this last baby at home.

And over the past 12 days, she has been extremely busy. And so here is the video that she posted of herself and her experiences that she's had 12 days postpartum. Hey, this is Steve Deast. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual. rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity, and reality itself. On the Steve Day show, we take the news of the day and tested against first principles, faith, truth, and objective reality.

We don't just chase narratives and we don't offer false comfort. We ask the hard questions and follow the answers wherever they leave, even when it's unpopular. This is a show for people who want honesty over hype and clarity over chaos. If you're looking for commentary grounded in conviction and unwilling to lie to you about where we are or where we're headed, you can watch this Steve Day show right here on Blaze TV or listen wherever you get podcasts. I hope you'll join us. So for those just listening, she is showing her baby being loved on by her siblings, some things that she's doing at home. She's showing herself doing some exercises. She was

a ballerina. So she's showing herself doing some ballerina moves and she's doing some lunges. And then also getting ready for the Mrs. World pageant. So she's showing herself holding her baby and getting her hair and makeup done. She shows herself in her beautiful ball. and the post is extremely popular with 460,000 likes, over 9,000 comments. Wow, that is incredible engagement. And there's mixed reviews. Okay. So there are mixed reactions to this post. So some people are saying, wow, you're superwoman. You're so amazing. You look beautiful. How in the world are you able to do this with so many kids and so many farm responsibilities and just having given birth? Wow, you recovered so fast. There are other commenters like this one who says,

this is damaging to the majority of freshly postpartum moms. I wish you were instead choosing to showcase being a role model for birth recovery for bonding with baby for respecting your body's journey, et cetera. So this has become a story, which is why we are covering it now, EV Magazine, a women's conservative magazine, posted an article on Instagram titled Ballerina Farm facing controversy over her postpartum beauty pageant. So the backdrop of this, the context of this is what we talked about earlier this week, about this pressure that a lot of women feel to kind of match this homesteading aesthetic in their own lives. And this is not just an aesthetic for everyone for people who are truly homesteading, they're homeschooling, they're making their own sourdough, they're making things from scratch. That's a life that you've chosen to live. And I think that's beautiful and great. And we can applaud you for all of your hard work and applying your values to your everyday life and how you raise your children.

and make your home. Now, some women are wonderful homemakers and are wonderful wives and mothers and very present with their families, even without doing those things. And so I, as I said on Monday, motherhood is not an aesthetic. It is a calling by God. And while there are biblical standards that all Christian moms have to meet, it doesn't require you necessarily to make sourdough. It doesn't require you necessarily to be a homesteader or to raise your own chickens or to do those things. These things can be wonderful, but they are not biblical qualifications for being a wonderful and present wife and mother. And so this has been a big conversation about what it looks like to be a trad wife and mom versus what it looks like to be a biblical wife and mom. Some women following the

ballerina farms account see this as something to a aspire to or they just like how it looks. They enjoy seeing her family life and they think that it is, you know, it's nostalgic for them. Other people think that this is harmful, that this is damaging and that it fosters comparison and that it is just very difficult for women who are struggling. Here's my take on all of this as freshly postpartum myself. It's four months postpartum as someone who did take plenty of time off, but also has this podcast and has, you know, other other responsibilities. I have, I kind of have my own mixed emotions and mixed reactions about something like this. Number one, I think that we all need to do better at not centering ourselves in every post that we

read on social media. If a post makes you feel bad about yourself, if it tempts you to comparison, if it makes you feel insecure, if it makes you feel envious, if it makes you feel discontent, that is not the fault of the person posting. That is something that is in your own heart that you need to work through with the help of the Holy Spirit and maybe the help of a community keeping you accountable who can talk you through those sinful feelings. It is not necessarily the fault of the person posting. No one. It is not possible for anyone to make you feel bad about yourself. If you feel bad about yourself because of something that you have seen,

that is not the fault of the person who has posted something that is beautiful or that you find unattainable. Now, do I think that this is unrealistic for most people? I do think it's unrealistic for most people. That is not Hannah's fault. I don't know her motivations behind showing this. Maybe she just wants to show the highlights of the past 12 days. She's probably not. trying to make you feel bad about your own life or your own body. I mean, I can say, looking at that, watching that, I'm thinking, oh my gosh, 12 days postpartum this pastime, like I was still in bed. She looks like she's already lost all the baby weight two weeks after the baby was born. Oh my goodness. It takes me about a year to lose the baby weight. I would

never be able to move like that right after I gave birth. I would never be able to look like that. I would never be able to have the energy to do all of those things. So I can say all of that and still not falter for any feelings of envy or insecurity that I may have. And I think that we would all be healthier if we refuse to center ourselves or see ourselves in every post that we read or watch on social media. And if we cannot do that, then I think it's better for us to not be on social media at all. It would be better for you to be content and satisfied with your life, with whatever God has given you and not be on social media and rather than constantly fight feelings of insecurity and anger and envy and discontentment while consuming things on Instagram.

So that's number one. That's, I think, a good rule to apply across the board or you can just not follow that person. like maybe that's the healthy boundary that you have to draw. I personally, like I probably not because of feelings of envy or discontentment, thank the Lord. I feel extremely satisfied with where I am in life and what I look like and all kinds of things. But this is not the kind of content that's for me.

It's for eight and a half million people on Instagram, but it's not for me. Like I am not someone who consumes a lot of content about homesteading and farming and making things from scratch, not knocking that at all. That's just not for me. It's not something that I want to consume. And so we do just, we have the power to pick and choose what comes on our timeline. There is no need, I think, to comment and to criticize the highlight reels that people post. That's what social media is.

They're highlight reels. If you feel like it's unattainable or you think it's harmful or you think it's damaging, that's fine. You might actually be correct about that because, as I said, I do think that this is unrealistic, but you don't have to follow. You don't have to follow this person and you don't have to try to apply the standards they've set for themselves onto you. It is freeing to remember that as Christians, only the Bible sets the standards for what biblical motherhood looks like. We are all individuals. God gives us the grace and the power of the Holy Spirit to be able to simply do. do the next right thing in faith with excellence before the glory of God. For most of us,

that is not competing in Mrs. World's 12 days postpartum. That's just not what it is for most of us. And that is totally fine. I don't want you to denigrate yourself and the calling that God is placed on your life, the healing journey that you are on physically postpartum or what you have in front of you just because it seems like someone is accomplishing more or bigger or better things than you are. Honestly, that is shaking your fist at God. If we are going on social media and saying, wow, I just wish I could be like that or do that or accomplish that or succeed in that way or look that good or whatever, that is basically shaking our fist at God and saying what you have given me is not good enough. And if you find yourself continually tempted to do that because you are on

social media, then I would just unfollow those accounts, get off social media because that is not healthy for us. If you can observe someone like her or anyone else and say, you know what, I can appreciate the beauty that they bring to the table and whatever they're accomplishing with their life, whether or not I can attain it. And then you can just be content and thankful for the life that God has given you, then do that. If you can set that healthy boundary and that's how you are able to think, then I think that's totally fine. But we all have to be, I think, honest with ourselves and remember the standards that we are actually held to. It's not social media that gets to set those standards for us. Thank goodness.

Now, this does lead me, though, into a mentality that I want to address among women, among Christian women. And this has to do with this idea, the general idea and the principle behind the phrase that we hear a lot, Fed is best. This was a topic or this is a topic that, A lot of you have asked me to address many, many times. And so I am going to address it because it kind of goes with this story that we were talking about. Actually, it goes with the rest of the episode too because we are talking about being unjustifiably offended by things. All right. Let's talk about Fed is best.

Now, if you are totally unfamiliar with this conversation and with this phrase, I will give you an introduction. Fat is best is basically a play on what the phrase used to be, which is breast is best. It used to be breast is best. And that was the encouragement for moms to breastfeed their babies. Now, it used to be a long time ago, I would say mid-century and before that, probably through even the Great Depression. But certainly when my parents were being born, the baby boomers were being born, 1940s through the 19, 60s, it was actually seen as low class to breastfeed. And doctors recommended things like carnation milk and Cairo syrup or corn syrup to feed your babies. I actually saw this crazy tweet the other day from an account called Mrs. Dobbins. And she said this. One of my Greek grandmothers raised her children on carnation milk mixed with corn syrup because the women in her area were taught slash shamed. that breastfeeding was for the quote unquote poor.

Stivalized ladies chose carnation milk for their infants. What's worse is that they were actually low income and had a hard time affording it, but she was too embarrassed to breastfeed for fear of being looked down upon. And we will show some of these pictures of the advertisement at the time for carnation milk. There is a mother. She's feeding her child with a bottle, I guess, filled with carnation milk. And it says the contented hour. A phrase that was used is, my doctor recommends carnation.

So literal corn syrup and carose syrup and carnation milk. So just a bunch of fake stuff and sugar. It's given to babies. It's actually incredible that baby boomers are still even alive, considered some of the things that their parents fed them. But I know this is true of my grandmother. So my grandmother, she was born in rural, Louisiana in the 1930s. She was one of 13 children. They were all born at home. And I suppose,

I assume that she was breastfed because her parents were relatively low income. I doubt that they would have been able to afford this artificial synthetic stuff. And yet my grandmother, she was the first one to go to college in her family. She ended up getting her master's degree. She was a mom during the day, taking classes at night. She was an extremely hardworking woman. And while she loved her parents and respected her upbringing, she knew that it was her goal and one of her responsibilities to try to, you know, pick herself up from her bootstraps and to make it farther than her parents had been able to make it. And so she pursued education. And I'm sure that she felt like she had graduated from.

from the very rural farm life in which she had been raised. And so she chose in the 1950s and 60s when she was having babies to not breastfeed. I remember talking about this to her probably when I was pregnant with my first, right before she died in 2019 asking if she had breastfed. And she didn't, I remember her just thinking, saying like, just making this kind of like disgusted and appalled face. Like, of course I didn't breastfeed. and she actually got the shot in the hospital that dried up your milk so she wouldn't have to breastfeed.

And I don't remember what she said that she used with her babies. Maybe it was Cairo syrup, corn syrup. But she mentioned that it was very low class. It was considered low class to breastfeed. And also around this time, and even before this, it started to be considered low class to have babies at home, to use midwives, the sophisticated. thing to do was to not only have babies in the hospital, but also to be put to sleep entirely. This is even earlier than the mid-century. I don't remember exactly when this started, but certainly earlier in the 1900s, women started to have twilight births and twilight labors, where they were

actually basically knocked out with drugs. And the baby wasn't taken by C-section. It was still a vaginal birth, but the women weren't awake for it in a lot of cases. That's not what my grandmother, what my grandma went through, but a lot of women were. And so birth became extremely medicalized. The science behind feeding your baby became prominent, and it became stigmatized to breastfeed your baby. And of course, we still have this problem today. Collusion between these major corporations that are trying to make profits and the so-called scientific establishment, the scientists coming together and trying to present the healthier and for them more profitable option for moms and for their children.

And so millions of women started feeding their children carnation milk with all this sugar in it. And so in 1978, Penny and Andrew Stanley wrote the book, Breaston, is best because in the 1970s and 80s, the kind of more natural and holistic trend started started back, I would say, and try to encourage women to not only breastfeed their children, but also have all natural labors. So when I talk to my mother-in-law and my mom in the early 80s, it was important for women or they felt like it was important to not get out. epidurals. And so both my mom and my mother-in-law for their first birth had no epidural. Oh my gosh.

My mom, her story of my oldest brother's labor is like traumatizing to me to think of her having, giving birth like without an epidural. And my brother was like nine pounds or something like that. But that was that was kind of the trend. It was coming back to more natural. My mom also, she she breastfed because in the 1970s and 80s, they were learning, okay, maybe like carnation milk is not the best. Maybe we do need to go back to our roots. And so there has been a lot of change based on the trends, based on the popular literature at the time, based on what is being represented in the media when it comes to raising our kids and feeding our kids. But we have decided in the past 10 to 20 years, that breast is best is rude.

That breast is best is offensive. And so now the phrase has been changed from breast is best to fed is best, which is trying to alleviate any burden or any pressure on a mother who feels like she has to breastfeed her child in order to be a good mom. So now people just say, oh, it's not breast is best. It's just fed is best, whether you feed your child formula or, whether you feed your child breast milk, it's all the same. There's no option that's really superior to the other. There are pros and cons of both. They're both equal choices. And it makes

sense that we have moved in this direction because we are so concerned with stigma. We are so concerned with offense. We are so concerned with people feeling bad about themselves and bad about their choices, that we have to just, we have to pretend like everything is relative. And we have to pretend like there are no inherent benefits to one set of lifestyle choices, to one particular journey, one particular path to take that it's all just the same. And there are many options like that in motherhood. As I just said, you can be a great mom and homestead. You can be a bad mom in homestead.

You can be a great mom and not homestead. there are there are different ways that motherhood can look and still be virtuous and biblical and traditional and good that does not mean that all choices are the same that does not mean that all choices are relative we can still say yes different that that moms and motherhood that they can all look different and still be good, that doesn't mean that we have to say that every choice that someone makes is just as good as another. And we should be able to hear someone say that without centering ourselves in that person's opinion or observation and taking offense to it. So my problem with Fed is best is that it gives women who may be able to be able to be.

to breastfeed, the excuse not to try, when there are so many inherent superior benefits to breastfeeding. Now, don't hear what I am not saying. I am not saying that if you use formula that you didn't try or that you couldn't, or you just didn't want to, or that you're lazy, or a bad mom, or that, oh my gosh, your kid is going to turn out awful. No, I tell women who try to breastfeed and truly can't, they have bad supply issues that they were not able to overcome, or maybe their child is adopted, whatever it is. There are some legitimate reasons, absolutely, why women cannot breastfeed or cannot breastfeed past a certain point. I always say, look, there are kids walking around today, toddlers, adults. You cannot tell whether or not

they were breastfed or formula fed, that after a certain point that it's very difficult to tell the difference in the health or success of those children. And so I do want to comfort you absolutely with that. But I don't think that that is a good enough justification for not trying. And I think so many people are just let off the hook by this phrase, Fed is best. Look, we can say breast is best while still acknowledging that women who feed their baby's formula can be great moms and that their kids can turn out amazingly. Like, can we just be able to say that some things are better than others without being perpetually offended by it?

If someone says breast milk is better than formula, which is objectively true, that is not about you. If you are someone who, uh, if you are someone that that opinion or that person or that fact, that observation that it doesn't apply. apply to you because you didn't have the option or you didn't have the choice for some reason, then you don't have to take offense by that. Like you can be content and satisfied and confident in the decision that you made based on the factors in your own life, in your own body for your own child without trying to, without getting angry at the person who said something that is true. And here's

just like encouragement that I want to give you. I want to give you encouragement. If you are a new mom, if you are pregnant or maybe you're a fifth time mom and you've never breastfed before. You've never breastfed long term. And you are reconsidering that this time. I do have some encouragement for you as someone who I consider myself a seasoned breast feeder. And I'll give you that encouragement and that advice in just a second. Okay. So breast milk is amazing.

Can I just say that to you? Can I just give you some encouragement? can I just say that? Let's just say that objectively. That breast milk is better than formula because formula contains all kinds of seed oils, all kinds of ingredients that are artificial, that are synthetic, that are simply not good for you. These are things that as adults we try to avoid because they cause inflammation and they can cause health problems and they don't, they can actually suppress our immune system. But for babies, unfortunately, we justify it. And I'm not saying that it's even all the parents' fault. But for, these formula manufacturers, we can do better, right? Like, it's possible to make adult food without these ingredients. And yet, in formula, we allow the worst of the worst ingredients in them. And we pass it off as like mom's breast milk or healthy or for sensitive stomachs or helpful for immune strength. It is all absolutely ridiculous. We should absolutely be demanding better from these formula companies.

But again, there's so much corruption with the profits and the pharmaceuticals. Oh, my goodness. There's just so much there. So I'm not saying it's all parents' fault. However, if we have the choice, we can and should choose better. Like when you're looking at breast milk, there are some amazing benefits. one, there's immune benefits. And actually the composition of a woman's breast milk changes based on what the child needs. It is different for male babies and female babies. It is different

based on what sickness your child might have. Also, your breast milk contains antibodies. So when I am sick, I am actually able to pass the antibodies to my baby through my breast milk. And it might not always always protect a child from getting sick, but it certainly can and it can certainly help. You are just not getting these inherent benefits with formula. The presence of the close contact between the mother and child stimulates the mother to, this is actually from my research. It's just reiterating what I just said, to make antibodies against bacteria colonize in the infant and to secrete these antibodies in her milk.

It's really amazing how God has given us this special gift. Breast-fed infants absorb fat nutrients better than formula-fed infants due to the presence of lapacees. I am not sure how to pronounce that in human milk that are not present in cow milk. There is less gastro, esophageal, reflux in breast-fed infants. Breast milk has the nutrients that are best for your babies, brain growth and nervous system development. Studies of breast-fed babies have found they do better on intelligence tests. when they grow older. Again, I am not criticizing you.

I'm not criticizing you. I know that you might hear that and you might think that I am saying that all formula fed babies are not smart. By the way, I wasn't breastfed for very long, for very long either, okay? And I would like to think that I'm somewhat intelligent. A breastfed baby's eyes also work better. This is mostly because of certain types of fat in the breast milk. And so I could go on and on. These are just the objective benefits of breast milk.

And I think women need to be informed on this better. When we say that Fed is best, end of story, period, we fail to give women the information they need to make the best choice for their babies. There's also the oxytocin that is released when you brass feed your baby. There is the bonding that exists there. And also at night, your breast milk creates melatonin, cortisol in the morning. And so that also benefits your baby with sleeping and waking up and staying energized and being drowsy when they're, they're supposed to be, gosh, there is just so much. It is also extremely difficult. It is extremely trying or it can be. Like I would say that I've had a fairly easy journey when it comes

to breastfeeding. But look, I understand the difficulties. I've had mastitis multiple times. It can be very difficult to pump when you need to pump. Traveling, you're always thinking about someone else when you are eating anything or drinking anything or the medications that you take. I have been nonstop, either pregnant or breastfeeding since 2018. And so my body has not been just my own in a very long time. And I understand the difficulty of the sacrifices that are required to be pregnant, to bear children, and to breastfeed for a long period of time. But I am here to tell you if you are considering it or if you are breastfeeding and considering

quitting, that it is so worth it. It is incredibly worth it. And here's what I also think happened. It's not only that women are uninformed, that moms are uninformed because they're just told that fed is best when really fat is bare minimum. But I also think that a lot of the factors sometimes that cause women to not breastfeed, it's not always, it can be, but it's not always because they really cannot supply the milk. It is because they have, maybe not even knowingly, but made choices that has decreased their supply.

And I thought about this recently because at the beginning of the month, you know, I'm four months postpartum. And I, because I had a V-back this time, I'm feeling a lot better than I did after my first two when I had a C-section. It took me a long time to not be sore and to want to exercise at all. I just wasn't feeling good after my first two at this point. But now I'm feeling great. I feel like I can exercise. I really want to bounce back. And so my husband and I, at the beginning of the year, We were like, let's start this healthy eating plan. We were really going to lean into carnivore, which just necessarily cut a lot of calories from my diet.

Carnivore is awesome, but you have to cook a lot of your meals. And if you don't have time to do that, that means you're not going to be eating as much because you're not just able to grab something that is a little bit more processed and doesn't require quite as much prep. And so that first week of January, because I was kind of unprepared for this drastic change,

I cut a lot of calories from my diet, not even purposely. It's just what happened. I was also like tracking on my fitness pal and I realized, oh, wow, I am not eating very many calories during the day. And even as a seasoned breast feeder, I did not think about the fact that this would affect my breast milk. Why didn't it dawn on me? I have no idea.

But I noticed about four or five days into this, well, I've noticed the decrease in supply. I and this is affecting sleep and things like that and oh obviously it is because I am consuming fewer calories. I'm not eating as much as I was before. And so thank the Lord, the supply issue was very temporary. I just started eating more food and I decided, okay, this is not the time for me to bounce back. But I do think because of a little bit of pressure that women feel, particularly from being on social media and seeing some people, maybe like Hannah, who are seemingly able to bounce back really quickly, they feel pressure. And so they cut calories. They don't eat enough fat.

They don't eat enough carbs. They're not drinking enough water because they want to get down to the weight that they were before they were pregnant very quickly. And so they don't realize that that is going to affect their supply. So they might say things like, wow, my supply just mysteriously decreased. I started supplementing. And then it got easier. to start feeding with formula. And so that ended up being the path that we took at six weeks or three months or six months or whatever it is when really possibly it was because of the changes that you made to your body when all of us just kind of need to slow our role. I have no problem with someone like Ballerina Farms being on the go. This is not her first rodeo of motherhood.

I'm not worried about her bonding with her baby and like rest. I think she knows what her body needs. but I also think it's important for me or someone in your life to tell you that that's probably not going to be you. That wasn't me. And that is okay. You do not have to look like you did pre-pregnancy six weeks or six months after you give birth. You do not. It took me and has always taken me about a year to get off all of the weight. After I had my second, it took me a year in four months before I started working out again. And actually, by the time I started working out, the weight had just kind of come off, but I didn't really try to do that.

I never went on a diet. I didn't do carnivore. I didn't cut my calories. I just trusted that it was going to happen. It happened after my first, for some reason, this time, for whatever reason, maybe because I feel better, I felt pressure to bounce back quickly. And then I had to remind myself, after my supply decrease, is that, no, that's not worth it to me.

It's not worth it. I have much higher priorities. to feed my child and to nourish my child for as long as I can through breastfeeding, then losing all the weight. It might take me a year. Maybe this time it takes me longer than a year. I'm older than I was when I had my first. I'm about to be 32.

I was 27 then. That makes a difference. Makes a difference in your metabolism, your ability to bounce back and things like that. And I have to be okay with that. And I have to be okay with the slow and steady recovery. I'm not going to look like Ballerina Farms right now. I don't care. I don't care. Everyone is different. And when we choose to not center ourselves and everything that someone says and everything that someone shares in someone's own journey,

someone's own perspective, someone's own opinion, or the fact that breast milk is better, when we choose not to be offended by those things or some Babylon B joke that someone pose, I think we can live a life that is, one, a lot healthier, spiritually, emotionally, mentally and also physically, but we can also make sure that we are prioritizing things well. I would encourage you as a mom, if you have the ability or the choice to breastfeed, I understand that is legitimately not a choice for everyone. Maybe you've had a double mastectomy and you cannot breastfeed. I understand that is not a choice for everyone.

If that is a choice that you can make, do not buy into the Fed is best propaganda. because it is propaganda. Fed is bare minimum. And if that is a choice that you can make, then try what you can to make that choice. And I understand people will say it's not worth it. It's not worth it if it hurts your mental health. It's not worth it if it hurts your emotional health.

I totally agree with that to a certain extent. Absolutely. I totally agree with that to a certain extent. But we have to be realistic and honest with ourselves. what we mean by mental and emotional health. Do we just mean that it's difficult? Yeah, breastfeeding can be difficult. Like, do we just mean that it's a little, like, that it's a little bit trying?

Yeah, breastfeeding can be a little bit trying. But here's my encouragement to you. Try to make it to six weeks. Look, postpartum is hard. I get it. I totally get it. I have had a tough postpartum and a tough birth every time. It is really tough.

Try to make it to six weeks. six weeks. And every bit, every week that you give, every day of breastfeeding that you give to your child is beneficial. If you make it six weeks and you for whatever reason legitimately can't after that, good job for making it six weeks. Seriously, that's tough. If you can make it six months and really after that, you cannot keep going. Great job. Six months is really tough. If you can make it to the one year mark, that is awesome. If you can make it to the two year mark, that is awesome. But I will tell you as a seasoned breastfeeding mom, that if you can make it six months, you can keep going. Because after that, they're starting to eat solids. So you can get a little

bit of a break. They're not eating as around the clock. The first three weeks of breastfeeding is the hardest. It is the hardest. If you can get through that, you can probably keep going and make it to six months. If you can make it to six months, I think you can make it to two years, if you want to. Not everyone wants to breastfeed that long. There are benefits we could talk about long-term breastfeeding and all of that good stuff. But you can do it. You can do it.

If you can make it there, the first six months is tough because they're relying on you 100% for nourishment. But wow, after that, it gets a lot easier. So see if you can do it. I'm not saying that you should just completely ruin your mental. state, if it really, really is coming to that, I am not saying that. I'm just saying that it's more beneficial than what some people will tell you, and it is more doable than what some people will tell you. Make sure you're eating enough. Make sure you're drinking enough water. Make sure that you are resting enough, that you are allowing other people, if you can, to do things for you, that you don't

have to do. Only you can feed your baby. Only you can bond with your baby in the way that a mother can. Someone else can vacuum if you have people that will help you with that. I understand not everyone does. Someone else can fold the laundry. Those things can be outsourced to friends, to in-laws, to your mom, to your sister, to your husband. Do what you can. Do what you can to give your child that gift of breastfeeding.

I'm just a big advocate of it. I'm a big advocate of it. I also learned, this is very interesting. I learned this week. In Haiti, you probably know like witchcraft and voodoo are very prominent in Haiti. That's part of why it is as impoverished as it is. But they actually believe, many moms there believe, that breast milk is like voodoo. And so they do not breastfeed their babies.

They like grind up corn and they add water to it and they give that to their babies. I mean, babies are very resilient. That's pretty incredible. credible. So if you have the ability at all to give your child that gift, understand that it is a gracious gift of the Lord. And I think it is a great gift to give your child. The theme of this episode, the theme of this episode, I guess is saying controversial things and choosing not to be offended when we don't need to be offended by something. I'm probably still going to get some wild messages about that. But gosh, a lot of you have been asking me to talk about fetus.

best versus breast is best and breast is best. But if you can't choose that, I'm not saying that you're not a good mom in the same way that you are still a great mom if you are not making your own sourdough and competing at Mrs. World. But it's also awesome if you are. Okay, I just want to end today's episode with a little encouragement from the word of God. This is from 1st Timothy 6. If anyone teaches a different doctrine and does not agree with the sound words of our Lord Jesus Christ in the teaching that accords with godliness. He has puffed up with conceit and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy craving for controversy and for quarrels about words, which produce envy, dissension, slander, evil suspicions, and constant friction among people who are depraved in mind

and deprived of the truth, imagining that godliness is a means of gain. But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing with these, we will be. content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs. But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness, fight the good fight of faith, take hold

the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses. That is 1 Timothy 6, 3 through 12. Do the next right thing in faith with excellence and for the glory of God. Whether or not you agree or like everything that I had to say today, we can unite behind our calling to do just that, to pursue righteousness. and godliness to be content with all that God has given us. All right, that's all we have for today. Tomorrow we've got an amazing, just like gut-wrenching, incredible gospel-centered conversation with a couple Kelly and Daniel Crawford of Abel Speaks.

I've shared about them on Instagram before. Their little boy, Abel, had trisomy 18 back in 2015, and they started an organization. organization to help parents whose babies have been diagnosed with life limiting diseases. And gosh, just how they have brought glory to God and comfort and peace to so many families and have served as a testimony for the value of life of children, of all children in the womb. It's really incredible. Gosh, you're going to be so encouraged by their conversation. And so make sure that you tune into that tomorrow.

and we will see you guys back here then. Hey, this is Steve Day. If you're listening to Allie, you already understand that the biggest issues facing our country aren't just political. They're moral, spiritual, and rooted in what we believe is true about God, humanity, and reality itself.

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