Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - REPLAY: Husband Q & A

Episode Date: January 10, 2020

My husband and I tell our story and answer your relationship questions!

Hello, relatable listeners. I am here with my husband, Timothy, and we are answering your relationship questions. We got so many relationship questions. We're probably not going to be able to get through all of them. We'll try, but I don't know. I don't think we're going to. But before we get started, I do want to talk to you guys about unplanned. Now, I know a lot of you have probably already seen the movie. If you haven't, you have to go do that. You've probably already heard about the controversy that is surrounding it. They're looking at, a lot of people are looking at the MPAAs. Do you say that? I don't know if you say it like that. MPA, MPA, MPA.A. They're looking at the R rating that was given to the movie and they're saying, okay, well, maybe I shouldn't go to the movie because, you know, I'm a Christian, so it's R rated.

They're kind of worried that maybe the R rating is going to steer away young people, but I really encourage you to go see it. Now, it is a little bit disturbing. It's hard to watch. I spontaneously burst into tears, but it's really good to see the reality of abortion. Abby Johnson, the person who the movie is about, she had two abortions. She worked for Planned Parenthood. She was a staunch supporter of abortion. Even her mother and her husband couldn't change her mind. They couldn't get her to think differently about it. So while she was at Planned Parenthood, she rose so quickly throughout the ranks. that she became director of the Planned Parenthood Clinic where she worked. But one day she was asked to go in and actually assist with an abortion procedure and she saw

for the first time what goes on. I mean, that's kind of crazy to think about. She was already director of this clinic, but she didn't know what really went on. But she saw what went on an abortion and she walked out completely changed. Like it totally changed her perspective. So this movie is that story. It gives, this is a quote, it gives an eye-opening look. inside the abortion industry from a woman who is once its most passionate advocate.

So if you guys want to see that or just learn more about it, go to unplannedfilm.com. Unplannedfilm.com. It is playing right now. I promise you that if you're anything like me, you are not going to leave the theater the same way that you came in. And so make sure that you go check that out. Okay. So now we are going to answer some of these questions. Are you ready? I'm ready. I'm ready. Okay. Well, some of them I think are. going to be easier than others. And what you'll probably figure out about our personalities is that one way that we compliment each other is that I talk a lot. And I'm a little less talkative, but I'll try to make sure I can talk a little bit more. Give my insight, give some answers. He has

really good insight. And so I'm going to give him the floor as much as he wants the floor. If you don't want the floor, you can just let me know. Yeah, that's fine. I appreciate it. But we all know what we're here for. Yeah. Okay. Well, first I think we should start by telling people, because I got a few questions about this. How we met. I've shared this story on the podcast before, but I think it's important to set up this context for people who don't know. Or maybe you should tell a little bit about you and where you come from. About me? Yeah. So I am from Georgia, originally Georgia boy lived there my whole life until two years ago whenever we decided to uproot and move over to Texas love it in Texas it's great here but grew up in a

small town yeah small town in Georgia small town there and went to school a couple hours north of where I lived at the University of Georgia in Athens where we met and that'll be a part of our story it is a part of our story after school worked there for a little bit got a job out in Texas, moved out here with my Texas girl. And so, yeah. And here we are. So when we both lived in Athens, we obviously didn't know each other because I went to school at Furman in Greenville, which is about an hour and a half away, a little bit more, from Athens. And I got a job at a PR firm there. And so I was working. You were selling mortgages in Athens. And I just happened. I think it was like probably in August of 2014.

I found out about this gym called Tribe that was like a pseudo-crossfit gym. Is that how you describe it? I would say as much, yeah. And you were also a personal trainer there. Yeah, I was. I'd been working out there for a little bit, really enjoyed it, love the owners. They were great people. I would say that they were just a good part of our lives in general.

Yeah, they were great. Yeah, and so that's kind of probably why I was attracted to. to this gym. I had never really done CrossFit a little bit, but I just decided to go. And it was after like a few weeks of being there that I noticed him. Honestly, to be perfectly honest, not in a way that was like, oh my gosh, who is that person? Not that I didn't have that reaction, but it wasn't one of those things where it's like, oh my gosh, I know that's my future husband. It wasn't like love at first sight. Actually, the first time I saw him, I was in a class. He never worked out with the classes. He was like way too cool for that. Naturally.

Yeah. And then we just started talking in classes. You started coming to the classes, which I kind of thought was intentional. I thought was purposeful. That he started coming to the classes and then he would, I don't know, you just kind of started talking to me just like super casually. Yeah, definitely. I was a little bit, you know, nervous to be talking to another girl again. But I was excited and I was like, hey, she looks awesome. Like she's cool. She's fun to be around. she was talking in the classes to everyone, really nice person. So I got to talk to her a little bit. So I tried to flirt a little bit.

Yeah, it worked. I actually remember the first time that I was like, oh, I'm going to like, this is my move. I'm going to make a move. Was when I remembered he told me, he must have just said it in passing in class, like, oh, it's my birthday or something like that. But I didn't say anything.

And then the Monday after his birthday, I remember he had told me that he, went home to celebrate his 24th birthday? Yeah, it would have been 24th at that point. And when he came into the gym, the Monday after, I wished him happy birthday. And I was like, he's going to know that I remembered our conversations. And it was impressive. It did work. I was like, wow, it wasn't a birthday. I barely mentioned that to you. I know. Got it logged away. That was my, that was my move. And from there, so we were talking in classes, but then we started talking after class. Yeah. And you would just kind of like walk me to my car.

Mm-hmm. And we just happened to leave at the same exact time. And you happened to start going to all of the same classes that I was going to. It's so weird. Like if you were just happened to be talking to someone else and it was taking you a long time to leave. You know, I just felt like I probably just, by coincidence, needed to stretch more that day. Yeah. So I would just stretch more.

You needed to fill up a few water bottles. Yeah, yeah. And then by the time you were starting to walk out, it was like, oh, yeah, I'm good too. So it just happened to be like that. It just happened to be like that. So coincidentally, we would walk out the door at the exact. same time. And we would talk outside of my car, not even in my car, because it was still, like, it was warm outside. And so we would talk. But eventually, the, like, five-minute

conversations. And he, like, he didn't, he wasn't asking me for my number. He didn't have my number. We weren't texting. He didn't ask me on a date. Because you would, I mean, you had just gotten out of a relationship. And so we were just talking. But eventually, the conversations just got longer and longer. So after, like, probably a couple weeks of talking outside my car. And I was, and one day we talked for like four hours from like 630 to 1030 and it's like okay yeah and we just like just couldn't stop talking just shirking all of the responsibilities no other friends no other no eating no dinner nothing like that just skipped dinner just work out real hard skip dinner and talk for four hours in a parking lot and i didn't even think it and i don't even really know what we

talked about it was a mix of a lot of things you know your love of back street boys your love of C.S. Lewis. We talked a lot of small things, definitely not like intellectual things always, but then we would talk about theology. You would share all of your opinions, a lot of the same things you bring up on this podcast all the time. And it was, it was really what made me fall in love with just the fact that, hey, this girl is different. She could really articulate a lot of things. Yeah. And he was just so easy, he was so easy for me to talk to. And after about a couple of weeks of us just talking outside my car again, him not asking for my number. And I don't even remember caring, honestly. Him not asking me on a date. I also don't really remember caring about

that. I was just really enjoying talking to him. I texted one of my friends, also named Dally, and said, I think I met my husband, which was ridiculous sounding because none of them knew him. And, like, we hadn't got on a date, like I said. And like, no reason for anybody to have known me or for any of my friends to have known you because it wasn't anything. It was just chatting at the gym. Yeah. But I just knew. And I remember before I met him, like when I was dating other people, I would ask married couples, how do you know?

Like, how do you just know, you know? And I just always thought that was so dumb. Like when you know, you know, I don't know what that means. It's almost like not helpful. You're like, oh, when you know you know. I know. But it's true. I mean, at least for me, that's not true for everyone.

And I have friends that, you know, they went through a lot of doubting. There was a lot of back and forth. They dated for a long time on and off before they got married, which is totally fine. Everyone's story is different. But for me, I just knew, I was so sure so immediately, probably before you were. Probably, I mean, I just, that's also kind of like my personality. I just, when I know something is right, I just do. I knew pretty soon, too.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But then you did ask me on a date. I did. There's some dispute on what our first date was. Yeah. So, like, we just went to the local Chick-fil-A, which is fitting, I think, because of how much we eat Chick-fil-A now.

Still, it is still a big part of our lives. We just went there and just chatted. I told you some personal, maybe two personal of things. Oh, yeah. He divulged, like, his whole life story at this Chick-fil-A. Just let it all out. And so that was Chick-fil-A, so you don't consider that our first date. Also, don't really consider the next date, really.

It was the first date. Yeah. But I think it was when he told me, like, you told me your background, you told me the things that had happened to you in college or that you had done in college and you had had a little bit of a rough past few years and you just wanted to be totally honest with me. Even though I think it was before that maybe that I thought, okay, I could definitely see myself marrying this person. It was then just his like total and complete vulnerability with me. Like no pretense whatsoever. I was like, oh my this guy is different. I mean, any of you who have been dating for any period of time or who have

dated multiple guys, you know that it's hard to find someone who is genuine and who is honest and who isn't afraid to show their flaws or their faults. And I just loved that about him. Like, there wasn't a part of me that was like, oh, now that I know this stuff that you went through in college, ugh. Like, is it really something that I'm okay with? I thought that it showed a lot of character that he was that honest that fast, it did not scare me or overwhelm me at all. Yeah. I was thankful for that. Yeah. And I remember, like, I tried to respond by saying, well, you know, like, here's some stuff that I've done. Like, I was stupid in college. And he was literally like, please stop.

Yeah, like, that wasn't the intention. Like, yeah. I'm telling you about this. You don't have to say anything else. Yeah. And then, so we kept talking or whatever. Actually, I remember it was the beginning, it was the beginning of November. I remember it was like the weekend of November 2nd. So it must have been sometime after that. But before our official first date, I don't remember. But I went home for a friend's wedding and you were texting me. He had finally gotten my number.

You were texting me and I texted you back and he just didn't text me back for like three days. And it wasn't one of those texts. He's looking at me like, he doesn't know what I'm talking about. Well, I remember this. it wasn't one of those texts that was like an end of conversation text. So I was a little bit worried. That was like the one time I can look back and be like, what was happening? I don't know.

No, I was probably just trying not to bug you or something. Yeah, just trying to be cool. I didn't want to be too desperate. Yeah. Well, that changed really fast for both of us because soon after that we were like all in 100%. We went on our first state. You took me to a Mexican restaurant. Yeah.

Attached to a gas station. It was the best one in Athens. It was a great, it gets a bad rap because it is. Low bar. Okay, so my thought process was she's from Texas and she loves Mexican food. So I didn't know, though. So I didn't know that she likes Tex-Mex. And that's the distinction.

Georgia people, they call it cheese dip and it's white. Yeah, it's true. That's okay. The food's not as good there. But it was cute. It was sweet. And it was my fault. I got a taco salad.

You did get a taco salad. You didn't eat any of it. Well, you know, that's my fault. I think I was still in that stage where I, like, didn't want to eat a lot in front of him. That also changed very quickly. But then what did we do after Mexican food? But I was very thankful that you went with me that afternoon because I had also scored us great tickets to the Georgia Auburn game. It was going to be a fantastic time.

And then you had a wedding to go to instead. But that was okay. Yeah, because what did we do after the Mexican restaurant? We went and walked around downtown Athens and it was great. That's all you want to say? Yeah. Okay. Well, now it sounds sketchy.

Okay, I got a tattoo afterwards. Yes. And it was something we had talked about doing and we had made, you know, plans to do this thing. And I was like, all right, after our first date, after we get lunch together, we went and got a tattoo. And it was fantastic. He got a tattoo. Not like a tattoo together. No, no, yeah.

A tattoo that he had been wanting, you had been wanting to get. And you had been talking to me about getting a tattoo for like the whole time that we had been getting to know each other. And so we did do that on our first day. But I remember thinking as he was getting his tattoo like this is going to be really weird if we don't end up getting married. This is going to be odd. But we did.

And then after that, someone asked one of the questions was how long did you guys date before you got married? Five? Not long. Yeah. Five months. Five months. And then I proposed.

and it was a four-month engagement. Four-month engagement, real fast. Everyone's story is different. I don't recommend that for every single person. But we just, I mean, we just knew. It's based on personality. We're very much those type of people. And we were ready.

When we knew, we were ready to go in for it. Yeah. And I haven't, I mean, obviously, but just in case anyone's wondering, like I obviously haven't looked back. I'm so thankful. So thankful. And someone did ask, be a good transition. What is your favorite thing about the other person? Hmm, favorite thing about

the other person. I've always about Allie that I've really loved and that I loved in the beginning before she started doing what she does now was just her drive and her ability to create out of nothing is what I call it. Essentially, she's always wanted to be an entrepreneur. She's always had this entrepreneurial spirit and drive. And I really like that about her. She's a self-starter thousand percent. That's the reason why we're on this podcast now, because you just had an inkling in your eye that I'm just going to do something. And you went and do it, did it. And not a lot of people do that. I don't know how people have that drive. Like, it's one thing to want the entrepreneur lifestyle. That's another thing to actually start it and to get going for it. And it's one thing I've

always loved about her. Thanks. What I love about Timothy, there's a lot that I love about Timothy, obviously. That's why I knew I was going to marry him from the very beginning. But the one thing that I really love is his discipline. Like once he sets his mind to something, he's like, well, I'm just going to do this. And I always go back to the original thing that I learned about him, which was that even though when I met him, he was like super in shape, all into CrossFit, he told me that at one point he was not, that he was what you would call skinny fat. Oh, yeah, for sure. Skinny fat, a little chubby. Yeah, was it in shape at all?

And I remember seeing pictures, but you decided to do something called the TB12 method. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's not what it was called. It was something else, something I found on the internet. This guy's small town program. I'm getting confused with all of the fitness things that you have done over the years. Essentially, it was like a 70-day program. I was like, I've never stuck to anything in my life.

I'm going to this time. And I didn't. And it changed me completely. It was really beneficial. Yeah, and this is the reason why. mind. I love fitness, maybe not as much now. I'm probably not as fit as I was, obviously, in college. But it just helped me out of a time when I was not feeling well. I made stupid mistakes. It's feeling almost like in a state of depression or something like that. And it was

what pulled me out of that was being able to have a goal to work towards and be able to accomplish that. And it was helpful. You did. Like you started out not being able to like run a mile basically, right? Right. And then by the end of it, I mean, he's, you've done a lot. And now he's still super in shape, much more in shape than I am. But I love just his ability to set his mind to something. It's the same thing at work. I also love that he takes care of the like the managerial or the administrative stuff, all the money stuff in our house. I am like a very much a big picture person. And I don't like, I don't like little tasks that I don't feel like advance what I need to do. And he is a very good caretaker of our home that I don't have to worry about that, you know, obviously like bills are going to get paid, that whoever is someone who is working for us or working with us or did a service to us that they're going to get paid. Like he's just really good about all that kind of stuff, which I think goes back to discipline too. And that is something that I do not have.

Yeah. We've learned that, you know, that doesn't always come naturally. But, you know, if it doesn't, I don't do it. Nobody's going to. No one's going to be coming after us. So it's got to get done. And he makes really good eggs, any kind of eggs that you want. Scrambled eggs, fried eggs.

Those are the only kind of eggs that I like, but you're good at it. Poach eggs. You can poach. I don't like poached eggs, but I'll take his word for it. Someone did ask us which one of you is a better cook and who usually makes dinner. Two different answers. I usually make dinner. But I would say he is the better cook for most things.

Maybe not for all things. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe there's something that I make better than you. But I would say he's a really good cook. I do like cooking. Very messy cook. Yeah.

I don't like cleaning up after myself when I cook. Or while it's happening. And I got really good at it whenever I was trying to eat healthy. And it's like, oh, you've got to be able to actually cook something to make that happen. Yeah. Now it's less of something I do. Yeah. And he's, I mean, he's always, like, happy to cook, but he gets home pretty late from work. And so I always cook. I'm not a bad cook. I'm not one of those people that's like, oh, my gosh, everything's on fire. I can't cook. It doesn't taste good. I just am not as good at it as he is. He's also, you're much better at watching things to where they all finish at the same time. I'm like, oh, chicken's done about an hour until the potatoes are ready. So that's not really good. That's also part of just me not. That's what the microwave is for.

That's what the microwave is for. Okay, here's a money question. Do we merge our earnings into one thing, one money pot, this person says, or do we keep my money in your money? Oh, good question. So, yeah, we joint bank accounts in it together completely. Joint try to do budget meetings to make sure that we're on the same page with what we're going to spend our money on.

But it's definitely a joint endeavor. got that from Dave Ramsey, somebody that really, I've listened to all, I've listened to his stuff, I've read his books. Yeah. I mean, it's just advocating for a married couple needs to have joint accounts in my opinion. And that's never been a problem for us. I mean, money is always, it can be a stressful conversation and it probably was more at the beginning of our marriage when we had less money than we do now. When we were, you know, like in the very beginning, living in Athens. Basically college students.

Yeah, neither of us were making very much money at all. And that was a much more... And we were also making stupid decisions with our money. I mean, we were eating out as much then as we do now, but we have more money now than we did then. Yeah. And we would be... We were stressed whenever we talked about money.

For sure. Now it's better. And I think that's what helps with the joint accounts or merging your finances together. This question is reported because it makes it to where that's a less difficult kind of... to have and it keeps from one person having their own side and their own money problems that you don't know about. There's less secrets involved. And I do think that there's, especially in a

Christian marriage where God makes it clear that you are not just one flesh, but you are also one in spirit and you are on the same path. You may be doing two different things. Like I have one job, he has another job. But this mentality of, well, hey, I earned this money. Or, well, I'm the one, either one of you, I'm the one who brings home the most money. So are you really going to tell me that I can't buy this? That kind of mentality, although we've probably fallen into that, it is a sinful mentality because it causes bitterness and it causes resentment and it's just, it's not unifying. Yeah, I think that's what marriage is for is to help each other whenever one person is down or one person is in sickness and health it says, you know,

You got to be there for the person no matter what. I think it's the same with money. It's for rich or for poor. Well, if you're not in it together and one person is out of work or something, but that's their money, then I don't feel like that's a good way to live it. Now, obviously, I feel like in those scenarios, people, married people are going to help each other out, even if it is separate accounts. I'm not saying people with separate accounts don't help each other.

But I find it easier when you just think, this is our pool together. Yeah, and we're both contributing to it, contributing to it, and this is what we're supposed to do. And we've both had stages to where, like, there's been two stages where I didn't have, like, a steady paycheck because I've been transitioning from one job to the other, or I was trying to get my footing in this job, and he has always had a steady paycheck. But there have been times also where, like, I've had to, you know, like, we've needed to cut into the money that I earned to help pay for something. And so it really is. It has to be the mentality. that this is ours, that we are one person, we're on the same team, we're not competing against

one another, and that also helps you be proud of one another for whatever accomplishes you have, not saying, well, how much did you make this month? That's just not healthy, in my opinion. Definitely. Speaking of podcast, someone asked about what podcast you listen to specifically, and if there's any we listen to we listen to Dave Ramsey together. We do. Yeah, that's a great question. I love podcasts. Like almost too much. much to where, you know, it's always in my ear and I can't just think of something, have my own thoughts sometimes. But I do, obviously, I love this podcast. I love listening to what Allie has to

say about culture and politics. I keep up with it as much as I can with political, on the political side, but then the breath of fresh air with the theological side. I really find fun and interesting. I like your take on culture. But outside of this podcast, I listen daily I try to listen to in the mornings, two podcasts that Wall Street Journal puts out, what's news and your money briefing. It just keeps me up to date. I work in the financial world, so that's why that's interesting to me, and I like to stay up to date. That, Dave Ramsey, we listen to that one together, mostly on airplanes whenever we're flying together. Yeah, he has, you know, he has AirPods. He's one of those people. And so I take one of the AirPods and I put it in my ear. Yeah, and it's always good,

just to hear about other people's questions and struggles and how you can learn from that. Other things. I like sports podcast, a ton. And I'll even listen to sports podcast with him. Like, you were listening to a golf podcast a couple weeks ago. No laying up. It's a great podcast. Yeah.

I know. I mean, I did use to play golf, but I don't want to listen to golf podcast, but I'll listen to just about anything with him. Okay, what's a good way to find like-minded conservative Christians in the dating world? I mean, that's, it's obviously our story isn't necessarily the most relatable to anyone. because it was just kind of a matter of, oh my gosh, we found this person and we didn't realize that that's what we were looking for. But I do have a lot of friends. I have friends that are single that are kind of in the same boat. And I think it's just a matter of being a part of communities

and being a part of places where other Christian people are. I'm not sure it's something that you can force. Of course, some people have had success with dating online, and I'm certainly not going to categorically condemn that. But I also have seen a lot of luck and just really healthy starts of relationships with people who have found someone at church. So you already have that kind of core commonality who have found someone through a friend who have been part of like Chamber of Commerce or Junior Chamber of Commerce in their area, just being a part of groups where other like-minded people are. And I know that might not be the most satisfying answer. Of course, that's something that you can also pray for as well. Now, I've talked about on this podcast not making

you, uh, like a future husband or a future wife an idol because the Bible does say, um, it's better to be single than to be married as long as you can stay away from temptation, uh, sexual temptation outside of marriage to fully dedicate yourself to the Lord. And so you can, of course, find full contentment in Christ, um, without being married. It's not wrong to desire being married. It's not wrong to want a spouse or to be looking for a spouse, but I do think it's a balance of constantly praying that God would grant you contentment in Christ because he has already offered us that, but also if it is his well, that he would put you in the right situation or give you the right opportunity to meet the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with.

I think that's, there's nothing wrong with that. Do you add anything to that or no? No, I agree with you there. I think, like you're saying, being active in the places where you think you might find those people is a valuable, a valuable way to try to meet that. I think that's also an easy answer to give. So it's not really too much insight. Yeah, but there's no, I mean, it's so different for every person that it's really hard. It's hard to say, well, this is the one way that you do it. Yeah.

Because it is very different. Which one of you is responsible for washing the car? Washing the car? Me. It's definitely me. I am in charge of. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding.

I'm not. I will never wash my car. No, I think the local car washing place down the street is. We just take it through there, zip it through. But it's you. You're the one that makes sure. Yeah. Like the $6 wash just gets it.

And then I'll go and vacuum it out. So I do that with our cars. Yeah. And he's very frustrated with me when he looks at my car. He's like, your car is disgusting. Yeah. And the car wash is right there. But see, that's one of those menial tasks that I don't want to do.

because I'm a typical millennial in a lot of ways and I don't want to be inconvenienced. Okay, one person asked how pregnancy has changed our relationship for better or for worse. I think it's been what I've liked and this is for the good, it's the excitement of the pregnancy. It's like it's given us something else or another person to be talking about.

It's like, oh, the baby girl is coming. It's like we're going to, and then like talk about her and think about how she's going to be and speculate on what she's going to be and then the whole planning of, you know, where is she going to sleep in our house? Which we've just started to do. And why do we have so many animals? And why do we have so many animals?

That's what we ask ourselves every night. Why do we have so many animals? We have three animals. If you don't already know, we have two cats and a dog. We have Reagan. That's our dog. She's our mutt. And we have Rachel McCattoms, the OG, the cat that we got when we first got married that he named.

And then we've got sweatpants, the totally superfluous animal that we did not need. But who is also our best behaved animal? Yeah, for sure. That's the other cat, sweatpants. We have really odd names for our animals. They're great names. They're endearing. Yeah, and they're great animals. But, yeah.

So I think as far as pregnancy, I mean, it's changed for the better. I think we're excited. Someone did ask how we decided when we were going to have kids. Like, how did we make that decision? I think for for me, and I think this would be the same for you, it was just, I think it was just natural. It's like this feels right. We're both comfortable. We had just moved out in Texas, not just moved out, but we had moved out here.

We were getting our feet, like planted here. Yeah. We had our house. We knew we weren't going anywhere for a little bit. And I had a stable job. You had a stable job for the first time. Well, not the first time, but, you know, you knew what you were in. Yeah.

It was like a career. For good. Yeah. And I think it was just time. Yeah. It was new. Well, we had kind of planned. Like I wrote in my like goals journal at the beginning of 2018 that maybe we would start

trying at the end of 2018. And obviously it happened a lot sooner than that. It was just there was actually like an opportunity that I was entertaining at a network. And I had filmed a pilot for a network. And I told me. myself, okay, like, I don't want to try until I know whether or not this pilot is actually going to become a show. And it didn't become a show. Thank goodness. I mean, there would be nothing wrong with that. It would have been an awesome opportunity, but thank goodness because we ended up getting

pregnant and everything has worked out really well. So God's timing and God's plan is obviously always better than ours. But it just kind of like, it just kind of happens. Now, it wasn't terribly easy for us to get pregnant, actually. It wasn't a lot of people. It's like, okay, first time got pregnant. For us, it was a few months. I had thyroid issues. I had a kidney issue.

It was kind of on and off. And we had kind of decided when we did get pregnant, okay, let's just not try anymore. Let's not try because I was, you know, it had been five months or however long of trying and it hadn't happened. So I was like, you know what? Maybe it's just not time. it's just not time right now. And so I don't want to worry about it. I don't want to be stressed out about it.

I don't want to track on the app and all this stuff. It's just too much pressure. I don't want to think about it. And it was kind of like as soon as I just said, let's stop thinking about it, that it ended up happening. So when it did happen, even though we had been trying technically,

I was really surprised. So we're very grateful for that. Yeah, absolutely. She's going to be here really soon. Let's see. What is something that you didn't know about each other until you got married? Hmm. You go ahead.

I feel like even though we only knew each other for a short amount of time, I feel like I knew a lot about you because he's pretty messy. But I knew that because he lived in an apartment with three other guys when I first met him. And that was disgusting. It was disgusting. It was gross. If any of those guys were listening to this podcast, I don't even care. It was disgusting. I don't even know. But I would still go over there because I was a nice girlfriend. And I would still eat the food that you cooked in that disgusting kitchen. Now, thankfully, you're not like that anymore. Yeah, not that bad. No. It was just the combination, I think, of four guys living together probably. Absolutely. But I don't know if I found out anything new. I mean, you're sorry.

It was like less than $200 a month. You snore. And you said I could say that on the podcast, so I'm not just trying to embarrass you. Okay. But, yeah. He does snore, but that's okay. Yeah. Forgive me for that.

Was there anything that you didn't know about me? Well, I mean, I knew that you were going to do something cool with your life. I knew it was going to be, all right, she's talented, she's special, she's different, and knew that you were going to do something great. But I figured it would just be like, okay, P. PR. You were going to start your own PR company one day or you were going to do something like that. I don't know. I had no idea it was going to take off into this field of politics or this field of being an influencer of any type. And I think that was the big surprise for me. I'm not surprised

what I found out about you. Yeah. And I don't think either of us said when we first got married, I wasn't doing this. It wasn't until after we got married that I even started speaking to sororities. So he's been along for that ride. And one thing, even though this wasn't a question that was asked, but one thing that I love about him, actually someone did ask about like competing interests or something. But one thing that I love about him is that he's always been so supportive of everything that I want to do.

Actually, actually, I'll take that back. You have been very supportive of this career. But every time I have a divergent dream, I'm like, oh, I want to start a biscuit company. I want to open this kind of fitness. place, he's like, no, no, you're not doing that. Keeping you grounded. Yes, he does keep me grounded. Because like he said, I do have an entrepreneurial spirit.

I am really good. I'll just say it. I'm really good at coming up with ideas for businesses. Like, if you want an idea for a business, come to me. Like, I truly believe. I'm one of those people that can, that believes. I, like, believe in you. And I believe in people.

That's one of the things I love. I like, I love encouraging people. And I love calling out people's talents and be like, this is the name of your company. This is what you need to do and you just need to run for it. I would love to just have a service where I do that for people. But I also sometimes do that with myself. I'm like, I have a great idea for biscuit cards. And I really do have a good idea. So if anyone wants to take that over, let me know. But he is really good at saying like, you know, we need to stay on track. Here are the good parts that you need to keep pursuing. But as far as this

media career, he has been so supportive. And that's just not true of all guys. I just think that marrying someone who is secure in himself and securing his own strengths and strong and able to encourage me and has never been threatened by anything that I do or threatened by the fact that I'm super opinionated, that was really important to me. And I've never felt that. Again, I think that would cause resentment against between us. Someone asked if you were as passionate about politics and stuff as I am. I would say no, just because it's not what I do professionally. So I don't, I'm not as passionate about it, but am I not up to date?

Or do I not keep up with politics? I don't know either. I mean, I do keep up with it. And I do read plenty about it. And it does get me worked up and fired up for sure. but I'm less opinionated about it. I don't even know if that's true. You do have a lot of opinions.

You might not tweet them. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. For sure. You do have a lot of opinions. I tell them to you. Yes.

He does. And thankfully, someone asked a question about like divergent or differing political views. I think it would be hard. If you're both passionate about politics, it would be hard to marry someone who has different views. Now, if neither of you really care and you have some differences, okay. But it would, like, it would be hard for me.

to ever be, to ever have been with someone who wasn't a conservative. Yeah, definitely. But I got lucky because his entire family is conservative. Okay, one question is, how do we honor God in marriage or keep Christ the center of our marriage? Yeah, that's a good question. I think, yeah. It's something that we work to do and improve on, I would say, every day. I've heard you say this before to the list.

but trying to read particular things. So we have a devotional read at night. Now that's just like what you have to do to be centered, but I think it helps us. And we try to read that almost every night. And trying to be in the word separately is really the key factor because it doesn't come down to what you can do together always, because at the end of the day, your relationship with Christ is a personal thing.

But then that will bleed into your marriage. lead into your marriage. So if Christ is the center of your life, then Christ will be the center of your marriage just by proxy. Yeah. And I think we also really try to talk to each other, not always. Like, we can definitely get better at this, but talk to each other about what the other person is learning and talk about how we can pray for the other person. And he's always really good at if I'm worried about something or if I'm distressed about something, like we, been having a hard time in my family for the past couple of years and he's had, he's been really good about saying, okay, well, can I pray for you or let's just pray about it right now or just

kind of starts praying? That's not something that comes as naturally to me. And he's been really good about that. And I just always know that he is going to point me in that direction. And I think that he feels the same way. Yeah. Another practical means just outside of the answers of praying and reading the scripture together, I feel like that's a common answer to that. One that I've found has been beneficial is also relates back to an earlier question about money. What you do with your money, how you give your money, knowing that money can drive certain behaviors in people is a way to stay grounded and centered in Christ, I think, and I find living within your means on a budget and giving generously and ferociously.

I think has been or can be a key tenant to a thriving Christ-centered marriage. Yeah, it feels good to be contributing to the same causes together and to say, okay, we're making a difference in this area or to these people. And like, we always agree on that. We always decide, okay, this is how much we want to give and this is who we want to give to. And that's not just financially either. It's just service, serving other people and serving other groups that can help not only you as a person, but then together with your spouse and we'll help your marriage out.

Yeah, and that's something, all of these things are areas that we can improve on and are improving on all the time. We certainly don't have a figured out. For sure. Yeah. Okay, last question. There's so many questions that we didn't get to. And so we'll just have to do this again because thankfully he can't get away from me. He's married to me. So he's permanent podcast guest. Sorry. So we'll get to some more questions, hopefully, in a future episode. But last question, what is your favorite part about being married? Favorite part about being married? Yeah. It's going to be a little cheesy, but having your best friend at your house constantly is pretty cool. Like being able to be like, okay, I want to watch a movie. Oh,

somebody else will watch a movie with me. Yeah. Most likely. Sometimes you won't because you have work or something or vice versa. But whenever you're going into your endeavors. Especially with sports. Spring is tough for movie watching because there's always a sport that he needs to watch. I mean, basketball is winding down, baseball's starting up, golf is in full swing. Yeah, literally. But, I mean, even in that, though, I mean, that's my favorite thing, too. Even in that, like, I mean, I don't really like watching sports that much, especially not basketball, ble.

But I love just being in his presence. I really do. Like, if I'm doing something else, if I have to work on my computer, I don't want to go in my room, I don't want to go in another room by myself. like I just like being with him. Like I genuinely hate when he leaves for work. And it's good because I wouldn't get anything done because we would just be hanging out all day.

But I just love hanging out with him and just the freedom of being married. It's different than being boyfriend and girlfriend and living together. We did not live together before we were married. But it's different than that. Because you have this security that no matter what at your very worst, no matter how freaking annoying you are. I mean, people just go through

like annoying stages of life. It's like, wow, you've just been really annoying about that one thing recently. Whatever it is. I'm talking about myself here. But that person, they're not going to leave. Like in a Christian marriage, like it is to have it to hold from this day for sickness and health, rich or poor, whatever it is. The only thing that separates you is death. And having that assurance, waking up to that person every morning, having that constancy and that unconditional love. I say, too, I tell people this all the time, sorry, I know I'm going long, but there's just a lot that I love about being married to him. I don't think that I would have started what I do. I don't think I would have had the confidence to do what I do without him.

And it's not because he was constantly telling me, hey, you need to start something, but just because he gives me confidence just in his unconditional love of me that I've never felt like I'm too much, like I'm not enough, like I need to be a certain way. I need to look a certain way, like I need to act a certain way, or to impress him in a certain regard. I've never felt like that. I've always felt like this person loves me for everything that I am. He knows everything to know about me that I even know to know.

And he loves me and doesn't judge me and it's just unconditional support. And because of that, I have so much confidence to do the things that I, to do the things that I do because I have that anchor. You always have a cheerleader whenever, like, in this marriage or in a marriage, you know, you have somebody that's there to support you, there to love you, but they're also to, like, give you a swift kick if you need it. And you're like, hey, I'm in a funk right now. You can you remind me of who I am?

Or, like, you would just naturally do that. Just be like, okay, this is who you are. This is what you have. This is who you are in Christ. And knowing that you can still get over and still accomplish the things. that you need to accomplish, no matter how you're feeling, really. Yeah, we both do that for each other.

We both try to remind each other, like, you have so much potential and so much talent God has given you so much, and you need to use it. We try to encourage each other to be good stewards of all the things that God has graciously given us. Sometimes we're stupid,

and we spend three hours watching Netflix instead. Yeah, spend three hours watching Netflix, order food from somewhere. Like, definitely happens. We're not. Yeah, we try to encourage each other in discipline. But, yeah, I just, I love being married. It's the best.

It's really great. Okay, well, I guess that's a good note to end on. Thank you guys so much for watching and listening. Subscribe on YouTube. My channel name is Allie Beth Stucky. So if you're listening to this, you can watch it, or if you're watching this video, make sure that you click subscribe. You can listen to this on iTunes, on Spotify, on Google Play,

all kinds of places. You can follow me on social media. If you like this podcast, please consider leaving a five-star review on iTunes. Helps me out a lot if you've got any questions or constructive criticism. I take that stuff seriously. So please email me,

Ali at the Conservative millennial blog.com, and I will see you guys on Monday.