Reply All - #63 1000 Brimes

Episode Date: April 27, 2016

Email Debt Forgiveness Day is April 30th. It’s the day when people around the world will send the emails they’ve been putting off, without guilt and without consequence (hopefully). To observe the holiday, we talk to three people with plans to send delinquent messages. Link to our Email Debt Forgiveness Day page. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

From Gimlet, this is Reply All. I'm P.J. Vote. And I'm Alex Goldman. We were supposed to take this week off. We were? We were. Okay. But...

We love our jobs? No. Email that forgiveness days this week. Right. It's on Saturday. It's on Saturday. April 30th. Ooh.

We sound like Monster Truck Voice for a second. Saturday. April 30th. That's like a very old man doing Monster Truck Voice. No, a very old man doing Monster Truck Voice would be like, Saturday, April 30th. That's like an old man's dad doing Monster Truck Boys. Okay, so to observe email death forgiveness day, which, as everybody knows, is April 30th,

and as everybody knows, it's the day where if you've been putting off some email and you feel bad about it, you can just send it without getting in trouble for however much time has passed. It's like you just send it immediately. And we actually, on our website, we have an explanation of email debt forgiveness day. So you can just include a link. in your in your overdue email, you can include a link to our explanation, and then people will know what's going on,

and they won't be mad at you. So, in honor of the holiday, reply all producer, Fia Bannon, went out and found a bunch of people who were planning to send emails that they've been putting off, and we talked to some of them. Hey, Via.

Hey, guys. Yeah, so we got in touch with three people who wrote in, and each of us took one of them, called them up, and heard their story. Alex, do you want to start us off? Yeah, so I got in touch with this guy. His name's John.

He lives in Plano, Texas, and he has an email that he's wanted to send for a very long time. And he tried to explain it to me. What I have to do to do this is explain to you pretty much the worst thing I've ever done in my life. Essentially, the email that I'm neglecting to send was an apology to kind of straighten out. what I should have done, you know, maybe 14 years ago. So when he was a senior in high school, John met this girl that he really liked a lot. He lived in Lubbock, Texas at the time,

and she lived three hours away. So I lie to my parents, and I tell them that I'm staying at a friend's house, and I drive the three hours to her house to meet her. And we have an amazing time. Her mom invites us instead of going on on her own to go out with her and her dad. And her mom gets, like, hilariously drunk,

and she's, like, adorably embarrassed by it. And from there, we, I actually, I had a hotel that I got. So we just, we got to hang out really late. We watched Amelie. And, yeah, it was great. It was fantastic. So what happened? Well, at this point, they were basically sort of dating,

even though they were long distance. They were talking all the time on Instant Messenger. They were talking on the phone. But John started to feel really conflicted about their relationship. We had gone further in our relationship than my religious parents and background would have wanted me to. And so I was sort of faced with this moral dilemma where I was, I liked her so much. And being around her was like the best feeling thing in the world at that time.

But on the other hand, I was just overwhelmed with guilt of, you know, I'm doing things I shouldn't do in this relationship. And then it's time for her to have what for her was. I think her junior prom. It could have been senior prom. And I was supposed to go with her as her date. what happens is that she calls me and she hears me telling her that I have to work and that I can't get off and that as she keeps telling me, I will just come when you can, come when you can.

And she goes just with some friends, but she's dateless at her prom. And she keeps calling me and asking me, are you going to be able to make it? And I said, oh, I'm trying to, but my boss is keeping me late. And so I never show up all night at any point. Ouch And Yeah Like I said

It's the worst thing I've probably ever done I was sitting there Alone by myself On a On a little pull-out sofa Telling her That I was stuck at work

And literally Just tears streaming down my face No It was terrible Yeah And I sat there all night Just

By myself Called She would call I would answer. I would talk to her and apologize profusely. Hold back to tears until I hung up the phone. And then not too long after the prom, she said, hey, I'm coming to Lubbock.

I really want to see you. And he said, I don't know how my girlfriend would feel about that. Oh. Not because he had a girlfriend. No, I know. Just because he was panicking. It sucks because it's so much worse than the truth. Right.

Oh, but he was also like a senior in high school. Right. So he wants to send her an email apologizing? So he is now married. He recently found her on the internet. She is also married. And he just wants to send an email saying basically like, this is why I did this thing.

It's not because you're a jerk. It's not because I didn't like you. It's because I was like a dumb kid and I didn't know how to deal with this. I bet she'll really appreciate that. I think that's like a really nice thing to do. It is so funny that you say that because when I did the interview, I was listening to him and I was like, I don't know what I would do in this situation.

Like, I don't know if I'd want to get that email. Why not? Because in a way it's like, you know, it's 14 years ago. I've moved on. Maybe I forgive this person, but maybe I don't. But he's not asking for forgiveness. He's just saying like, here's why what happened happened. Right.

that was sort of why I leaned toward doing it because he held all the cards basically and now he's just sort of like giving them all back to her yeah as long as that's what as long as it's just like I want you to know that like the world is not as random and as cruel as I made it look because now she has to live in a world where like this like formative experience of being in love

she was betrayed versus like this form of experience of love didn't work out because somebody had like religious beliefs that conflicted with that love. That's such a better world. Right. Okay, Sophia, you talk to somebody.

Yes. So we got an email from a guy named Amin. He has his own message that he's been meaning to send for a really long time. And when I first read Amin's email about it, I thought it was just like

so weird and adorable. All right. So Amin graduated from college last year, but when he was in college, he used to always go and study at this one desk in the library. And the reason he liked that desk was because it had like etched into it all of these different weird phrases and sentences. It was like, Satan and meth make one great apple pie. Satan and meth make one great apple pie? Yes. So it's all these, like, weird things, and so he'd, like, work and enjoy them.

And one day I noticed something interesting on the desk. It just read, and this is totally different from anything else that was on there. It said, love dishonor, marry, die, cherish, perish, never cry. I am looking for a guy. Wow. That's intense. Which is actually lifted from David Rakoff's book. Though his last one?

Yeah, his last book. That book's really good. And so Amin went home, spent a couple hours thinking about it, went back to the desk and scratched into it, may not be the one you seek. Though not meek, I must repeat, this form of language is rather neat, intriguing in fact, but I must admit defeat. I cannot rhyme even for a dime. That's nice. And so then a couple days go by. Amin weights and on the desk is then scratched.

Faster than birds, better than mail. Tabletop scribblings could work in hell. Drop me a line nearly any time. 1,000 brimes at Gmail. Brimes? Yeah, I don't know. I think it's kind of trying to rhyme. So that's what Amin sees on the desk.

And my first thought was, oh my God, I'm not clever enough to write I thought one time is as much as I can do. Yeah, right. I thought I could just be like a one-hit one do with these things. And every time I would load up my browser and load up Gmail, I'd just try to send it, I would just go, oh. So it's been a year and he hasn't emailed it because he just was like, God, that one rhyme was so hard. I can't do another. He doesn't have to send them a rhyme at this point.

They're breaking their pros. Well, since then he. got a girlfriend, like he's in a relationship now. And so he's like not hoping to romantically connect with the person on the desk, but he's still just like so curious who it is. So I talked to him this morning. He said he was going to write. He wrote.

And? Here's what he wrote. Correspondence by email quite faster than the snails of desk scribblings embedded by nails. Apologies are in order. lesser rate of response has brought me to the border of almost insanity. An opportunity connect is all I ask, so happily taken, I cannot mask a keen interest in your ability to rhyme. Hurry, we are almost out of time. It is the year 2016 heading towards the month of May. I hope this reaches you before email that forgiveness day.

Nice little plug. And then he included the link to emails at forgiveness day. And then... And then? He got an auto reply from Gmail saying the account doesn't exist. Oh. After I sent you that email saying, like, basically texting and Facebook messaging, everyone that went to my school asking if anybody knew about the desk

or if they wrote this or wrote that. And after like six or seven hours, I get no real response. So I'm just like, oh, then my girlfriend comes back home from work. So I asked her about it. And she's like, oh, yeah, that was me. I was like, what? What? Yeah, she was like

She just said, yeah, that was me That was you, like yeah, I am 1,000 brine Oh my God You never, she's like, I didn't want to make the email Because I got anxious And then I met you And then it all kind of turned out

Wait, what? Did she? Right. Well, did she know Did she know it was you? No, she had no idea. I could not imagine her doing that in a million years. Oh, my God.

Right, right. And it just, oh, I was so freaked out by it when she told me. And this is real? I know. When Amin first told me this, I was like, this is crazy too good to be real. But I have looked into it for an intense amount of time. And every direction I've looked, this seems to totally check out. Did you know she used that desk?

No. Is this changing your view of the world? It kind of feels like it should. I mean, I mean, naturally, I'm not very, I'm not super into faith, but it's, I don't know, man, this is, if there's a coincidence, there's like an infinitesimally small chance of this happening. Yeah.

Like up there with winning the lotto. Like, my God. You can never break up. We're destined for life. That makes me so happy. That's great. That'll set me on a nice course for today. So I also spoke to somebody, a listener named McKenzie. Unlike the people you guys talked to, she actually had a lot of emails to write, not just one.

We got on the phone, and I think almost immediately, one of the first things she said is just that at the end of February, she lost her job. So on the 26th, I got that call that I had lost my job. and then on the 28th was my birthday. And then on the morning of the 29th, I woke up and found out my mom had died on my birthday that night. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Oh, yeah. So between those two things, there was a lot of outpouring on, like, via Facebook and just like emails and calls from and messages from friends

extending offers of support and condolences. And it was just so overwhelming, just everything that had happened. And I know in my heart that no one's like that McKenzie's such a jerk and hasn't replied to my sincere condolences of her mother's death.

But I feel so bad that I haven't emailed them all back. Oh, my God. Wait. You know, not even all of them, but just certain ones that were really touching and meaningful. I just couldn't emotionally get it together. But now it's been so long that I feel dumb. Wait, since your mom died?

Well, I mean, it's so, you know, the emails have been sitting there now for over a month. And I feel weird being like, thanks, you know. Oh, my God. It hasn't been long at all. Yeah. It really hasn't been long at all. Yeah. It feels longer than it has been.

I mean, you're being really hard on yourself. Yeah, I guess so. You know, being in a stereotypical millennial, I fear all contact. Me too. I try really hard to stay on top of it. Yeah. And so. Just, you know, seeing those emails still in my inbox.

Just it makes me feel guilty every single time. So wait. So do you think like, do you think you'll really use the holiday? Like, can you see yourself sending an email and being like, hey, I know things are big right now? I was worried I wasn't going to email people. Like, do you think you'll use it? I mean, it's like a good deadline in my head. that I, on this day, I will send that email.

And I love the idea of email debt forgiveness day so much that I also like the idea of spreading the word. That's awesome. I remember when I listened to the first podcast about it, I was like, oh, it's not just me. It's not just the problem that I have. That makes me so happy. That makes me so happy that it's useful. All right. Happy email debt forgiveness day.

Thanks, you too. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Thanks to McKenzie and everybody else who wrote in to let us know which emails they were planning to send. And congratulations to anybody who managed to send one. It can be really hard. You should go easy on yourself.

Also, we're trying something different for this year's Email Debt for Gimus Day. If you participated and if you're a Gimlet member, then on Saturday, go to emaildebt. club where you can get this thing we made. It's kind of like a Girl Scout merit badge, but for Email Debt Forgiveness Day, there's this artist we like McKee's Achille who makes patches. We had her make one just for this. Again, the website is emaildeat.club. It's free if you're a Gimlet member. If you're not a member and you want to be one, you can sign up there. And we're just going to have this open for a week. So if you want one, make sure to let us know by May 8th. One last thing, when you sign up, use the email address you use for your Gimlet membership.

It's very important. Okay, happy email debt forgiveness day. Reply is hosted by PJ Vote and me, Alex Goldman. The show is produced by Tim Howard, Truthy Pinovenanee and Fiannon. Our editor is Peter Clooney, production assistants from Mervin de Gagnos. We were mixed by Rick Kwain. Special thanks to Logan Williams, Mary Ratliff, Martin's Favoda, and Daniel Gould. Matt Lieber is a weekend with good weather and no plans.

Our theme music is by the mysterious breakmaster cylinder, and our ad music is by build buildings. You can find more episodes at iTunes.com slash replyall. Our website is replyall.com. One more thing. A couple weeks ago, we told a story on our show about our landlords, the website Genius, and an incident involving a broom closet. Genius dispute the facts of that story, and they asked us why we didn't just come up and ask them about it. And you know what?

They actually have a point. So, Genius, we're sorry. We should have asked you about that. it won't happen again. We are taking next week off to work on some episodes that we are very excited about. We'll see you in two weeks. Thanks for listening.