Retronauts - Retronauts Episode 346: Holiday Special 2020 - Earthworm Jim's "For Whom the Jingle Bell Tolls"

Episode Date: December 24, 2020

Happy holidays! As a special Christmas treat, we're giving you one of this month's Patreon-exclusive extra episodes! To hear two full-length bonus episodes like this every month, please visit the official Retronauts Patreon at patreon.com/retronauts. It's the yuletide season, which means it's time to head to the Retronauts Holiday Cabin in Parts Unknown yet again for another look at a Christmas-related video game thing. And even thought this is our tenth (!) holiday special, we haven't hit the bottom of the barrel just yet! This time around, we'll be looking at the Christmas (and final) episode of Earthworm Jim, the short-lived Kids' WB cartoon that, 25 years later, stands as one of the better games-to-animation adaptations out there. So smear on some wolf repellant and get ready for the only holiday travel not prohibited by law as host Bob Mackey and guest Henry Gilbert discuss this cartoon relic of the mid-90s. Groovy!

Dancing the Christmas Oh, hello there. Welcome back to the Retronauts Cabin and parts unknown for yet another holiday podcast special. Once again, I didn't hear you come in, which is odd because I've spent most of 2020 being locked in a state of hypervigilance about potential danger. Anyhow, would you believe this is the 10th Retronauts holiday special to date? Yes, over the past decade, we've shared so many memories about Christmas-related video game things as society has gradually fallen apart around us.

And we were quarantining before it was cool and mandatory. Thanks to the pandemic, we've had to make a few alterations around here, but I'm sure you'll find the Christmas spirit infecting every corner of the holiday cabin. There's a nice thick sheet of plexiglass for our guest to sit behind, of course, and unfortunately I've had to board up the fireplace because old St. Nick is a deadly biohazard this year. And that sound you're hearing? It's HBO Max's virtual Ulog. Now that's one prestige chunk of wood that's burning in there.

And what about me, Steve? the favorite character of Retronauts. Oh, and of course my robot companion, Steve is with me as well. And this year, he's been modified to emit a harmless antimicrobial gas to cleanse the air of toxins, and fill it with any number of trendy aromatherapy

scents. What scent will it be, master? I have candy cane, gingerbread, Santa Clausbeard, shampoo, elf, and freshly opened pack of Magic the Gathering cards. Well, nothing says Christmas like a freshly open pack of Magic the Gathering cards,

so let's make it that. I got my entire family Magic the Gathering Guards this year. Oh, it looks like our guest has arrived. Steve, go somewhere and conspicuous and continue filling the room with gas. Master, I will hide myself somewhere and continue emitting over. Oh, come on in, Henry. How's it going? Ooh, brer. Hey. Stay behind the plexiglass.

Stay behind the plexiglass. We have to do this safely. government says you shouldn't travel. It's a stern warning at best, but I want to respect that at least. I've been wanting to hug you all 2020, and I just haven't been able to. After the vaccines, after the vaccines. But yes, Henry is back for another holiday special. And last time, I'm going to dare say that was our best holiday special to date.

I want to try to top the Pokemon Christmas Bash album retrospective. I still have all those songs in my head from last year, and I recommend you go back and visit that one because I just did. I'm singing the miao, the little stinker song to this day. I again reject the coupling of Ash and Misty. It's wrong. Not canonical, but we can just forgive them. They're getting wrapped up in the Christmas spirit. I mean, there's only five types of Christmas songs you can make.

So they have to do the romantic one. It really is true. And unfortunately, I couldn't find any other video game Christmas albums. It's a real shame. So maybe in the future we'll do another one of these. But in case you're not familiar with these holiday specials that we put on for retronauts. This is the 10th one so far. 10th one in a row that I've done

And what we do every year We come to the Christmas cabin in parts unknown And we examine one video game-related Christmas thing And we've done that nine times so far This is the 10th And today we'll be talking about the Earthworm Jim cartoon episode For whom the jingle bell tools And a bit about the games

But in case you don't know I do another podcast called What a Cartoon Where we go super super in-depth In-depth into different cartoons And we might do an even more in-depth episode of Earthworm Jim on that feed on that podcast. This is going to be a lighter, more whimsical treatment,

but we'll still talk about the history of the character and the game. So let's start off there, Henry. What is your history with Earthworm Jim in game form? Oh, in Gameform, I really enjoyed the first one as a kid, but I also only rented it. I didn't buy it. And it, uh, I, but the first level I really, really enjoyed. But like most kids, I think I probably didn't get past.

the third level without a game genie or any of those cheat codes and even then I had to just read about what happens after the water level because there's only so much you can do. Oh, you got stuck on the water level too? Yeah, that is such a giant difficulty spike in that game. It's, I mean yeah, I think as I look back

on it now, I see that I loved it for the same reasons as a child that I loved the Aladdin on Genesis more than the other versions because it was pretty and I thought it was like challenging and not bullshit. And so once I realized what game design actually was,

I was like, oh, yeah, this is poorly made. Well, this has a lot in common with the Aladdin Genesis game. We'll talk more about that later. Any familiarity with the sequel, Henry? I did play the sequel. I was excited for that. I think the sequel was, I do remember reading about how the sequel, like, I think it was one of the first times I read in something like,

well, it's not made by all the same people. It's the secondary staff or whatever. And I realized that sequels can be given to other people, that it's not the same people making it again. But when I play the sequel, I think that's when I realized, like, oh, this is just a mini game collection. This is not a platformer. It's a game where they make like three platformer stages and then build mini games around it. And I think I actually, I reflect more positively on Earth from Jim 2 because I think they had more fun with their mini games of like, you know, the Peter puppy on a marshmallow mini game is basically just a game in one. watch a game but it is it's like the fireman game right yeah it's just like fireman yeah my history

with the games very similar because henry and i are identical in many ways and that's uh yeah i did enjoy these games when they came out it was cool they were really cool of course they're famous for their like very fluid animation and their reverent sense of humor and which do you believe a worm stars in a video game i can't and i had the same issue as you henry where the game design was uh pretty interesting on a surface level but executing these clever ideas for a video game didn't always turn into a fun gaming experience. So, yeah, like, I got stuck on the third level of Earthworm Gym 1. It wasn't until I actually got access to a level select code that I saw the rest of the game.

And I think, too, is a much better game, but it still suffers from some of those same problems where the levels just seem to be arranged in a random order. There's no flow to them. It's just, like, like, a pinata full of random ideas. They just bust open in front of you. And in some ways, that was neat because no other game was really doing that. But it doesn't add up to a game that has aged particularly. well yeah the randomness is cute and all and i think that's part of the fun that they were able to go

like well and now it's just a new place who cares like that uh i mean on a certain level i think they were trying to be like meta or postmodern about a video game in a fun way that like they you have the sarcastic nature of just sonic looking at the screen and tapping his foot and then this is like such a huge expansion on that of just like a as a concept it's like it's princess what's her name who cares slug for a bud it's it's intentionally the grossest thing it could be

you're going to heck it's not hell because we can't say hell in a video game and nothing matters and there's no real story to anything yeah if you cared at the end well they they do the save the princess at the very end and then you get smashed to death by a cow that you launched

at the very beginning oh yeah she gets she gets killed yeah I guess he just gets injured by the cow Because she's in the sequel Yeah Yeah so And three I just did Well three is just

An abomination It's a horrible 3D game made by No one associated with the original games We might do like a full in-depth retronauts On Earthworm Jim This is just a surface level exploration Of where the character came from And just general thoughts about the games

But the brief history of Jim And Henry I want to know if you have any thoughts on this So in the early 90s The toy company known as Playmates They're having a great success With the Ninja Turtles line Like they are the main Ninja Turtle toy manufacturer making money hand over fist. But they're like, we're paying a licensing fee to make toys based on a product.

What if we have our own characters? We'll make all the money. Eastman and Larry don't get a chunk of that at all. Those guys don't. Yeah, I mean, Eastman and Laird, they signed a really positive for them deal on TMNT that a lot of companies wouldn't give. But that's because it seemed like such a long shot. But after that fact, like it was a deal. that no other creator was going to get after them, I would think.

And it was an interesting marketing blitz on their part because Earthworm Jim started as an idea for a toy line. Given how irreverent in sneering the actual games are, it feels weird that they're just designed to sell toys, but that's what they are. But Playmates' business plan was we make the video game first, and then we sell the toys, and then there's a cartoon to promote the toys.

So both the video game and the cartoon are working in tandem to promote the toy line. It's all about the toy. But man, I didn't realize toy was where it came first. That's funny. I mean, yeah, we talked about it with the show The Tick, too. And there were just many shows like this that were like, well, if we just have like a weird title that just makes you go like, huh? They made toys of that. Like, I think that was always their starting point.

They're just like, oh, like for the Tick, they wanted to find every weird villain they could to put in it. And Ninja Turtles definitely was an inspiration. because it was taking an unlikely thing and making into a hero, like a worm or a turtle or a bug like the tick or actual cows from the Cowboys of Moomesa.

Yeah, you know, in the 80s, it was He-Man, and he is the strongest man, and he fights, and it's just like a very straightforward barbarian thing with maybe a little bit of sci-fi sprinkled on top,

and Transformers were, what if your cars were also robots that fought? And G.I. Joa is, is in Reagan's military, the strongest. It was so straightforward. When you get to the 90s, you got to be like, isn't it crazy to have a teenage mutant ninja turtle who has the swords? I'm surprised there weren't more modifiers on Earthworm Jim on his name. But yeah, so ultimately there'd be

only one series of 10 figures and five of those figures were different variants of Earthworm Jim. I know growing up, Henry, you were the toy boy. Did you own any of these figures at all? Maybe it was a bit too late. Actually, no, I did all these figures. All of them? A majority of them. Oh, wow. Yeah. So, well, I will say it was, I was a spoiled middle class toy boy. My mom would buy us pretty much any toy we asked for looking back on it.

I'm like, I guess I did own every toy that came out from 90 to 95 maybe. But you just made it into the gym collection. So, well, what helped was I was 13 when the TV series and I guess toys debuted in 95. And my brother, three years younger than me. So he was 12. the perfect earthworm gym age. So he, I'd say, was the bigger fan of it. We both enjoyed it.

And so, yeah, we had Jim regular. We had Jim in his scuba suit. We had the goldfish head guy. We had the crow. Cycro. We had Peter Puppy. And I recall Princess What's her name? I think that was, but if there were vehicles and stuff that came with him,

we did not have them. I don't think there were. There was a second toy line planned and their images of these online. And I think you can look up like plans for them, like literal blueprints of the toys, but they were never released. So just amounts it to 10 figures, all of this planning. That, yeah, well, if the first wave doesn't go, they got to cancel it real fast. They're like, don't, because it is a huge amount of money to make all those toys if you can't sell them.

Like, my favorite thing about the gym toys was the gym himself, at least the very vanilla white suit Jim his head could be shot out of his neck Those are the worst levels of the video game when you're out of your suits Oh sure sure

But for a storytelling possibilities On the cartoon show He left his suit Like every fourth episode Or something That's most of the plot So if you're playing with your toys

Like oh no Jim lost his suit again What are we gonna do So Playmates is going to get into The video game industry They've never done it before In a hot and rising talent in the video game world is David Perry, a Northern Irish game developer,

who was a hot name because of slick, attractive platformers like CoolSpot and Disney's Aladdin for the Genesis. Go back to our controversial Disney's Aladdin episode on Retronauts where we came down and said, the S&S version is superior. The Genesis version is not bad. It is just of a certain style of European platformer that I don't cotton to.

You know, I think we have, I feel the Overton window shifting on this debate. It's the good Overton window. Yes, yeah. I think we have convinced people. I think more or more are you hearing it? Everybody's talking about it. The Super NES version is the better version of Aladdin. And I mean, cool spots like that is one of the slickest commercials I've ever played.

Oh, yeah. Cool spots are fun game, but they all feel the same way. They're all like these slippery platform games with not a lot of intentional design behind them. You can feel like the level layouts just feel like haphazard. You don't feel guided anyway. everything feels just like weightless there's no impact of things i mean a lot of people enjoy these games clearly because aladdin was like the number three selling game on the platform it was it was up there maybe not number three but like in the top five very close to the top yeah i uh for me my brain

was programmed by nintendo platformers like those are the first platformers i played so i definitely was i loved the coolness of cool spot what a cool guy but at by the second level i was like wait what what am I doing? I'm just walking around until I find every twinkle that's on this stage. These levels are huge. And that's when when they do in Earthworm Gym, the stages that are supposed to be a linear type Mario stage, those get so like complicated or just like painfully challenging. It's just,

it's really not Shiny's skill set. I don't think. People, people loved it though. So Shiny, so Playmates recruits David Perry and Shiny was founded via Playmates money. Wow. So they're the seed money for Shiny. Yeah, they just, David Perry was like, if you want me to make this game,

you need to fund a studio for me to make it with. And they're like, okay, we're Playmates. We have Ninja Turtles money. Let's build you a studio. So yeah, Shiny. That guy is a slick businessman that day of Perry, man. He is to this day, yeah. And so, yeah, Shiny is funded via Playmates money.

So the game was developed under Shiny and published via Playmates Interactive. So that is their publishing line. I had no idea that Shiny, the developer, no longer exists anymore, was funded by Playmates. That's crazy. Yeah, that is, that's nuts. That somehow that takes us to Matrix video games, more than one Matrix video game. And this awful game called Messiah, which has a lot of cool ideas, but it just is unplayable. So quick history of Shiny, after Earthworm Jim 1 and 2, they were required by Interplay.

And currently, they and another dev were merging to double Helix games. and then double Helix games was absorbed by Amazon Game Studios. Oh, God, to make nothing, or I guess, well, to make nothing, no one can play. I can't, I've known, I've known some folks who go to Amazon games and then leave pretty quickly. I've known a couple friends who've done that. I went to, like, the ribbon cutting ceremony for Amazon Game Studios. They spent a lot of money, and they were, they were funding this e-sports game that was never released called Breakaway, which was actually kind of fun.

I went to, like, three demos for it, but it's right. It seems like, it's like an EA thing. your company just goes there to die or to just be like plucked clean. Yeah, it's an easy way to just like, hey, let's just cash out guys. I just read a really great piece in Kotaku about the structure of Super Giant

and how they're different from everybody else. It's like, oh yeah, all these, well, not everybody else, but like a lot of their indie brethren they list like they just got bought by Microsoft. Everybody eventually goes like, well, let's cash out. And Super Giant hasn't yet. But I get the attractiveness of it for, double helix like do you have to you we've you hear so many stories of like well because that one

project got canceled the company's gone and you just have to constantly be like searching for your next project if you're at that kind of scale so i get why double helix was like let's just go to amazon but but amazon scares me because uh the same level of riot i've been hearing like riot games uh people have been rumored forever like they're making a fighting game they hired all these folks who worked on street fighter they're going to do it but they like riot games is at the scale that if they spent $50 million on a fighting game, they don't have to release it. They really can just go, eh, nah. It's funny, like, all these companies with the most money, like Google and Facebook and

Amazon can't actually make a very good video game that people want. We just had the game awards. None of those were published by, like, Amazon or Google their Facebook. Yeah, whatever's in their machinery, they can't get it out. I don't know what it is. Like, you get, you know, the mega conglomerate 10 cents, you can say a lot of things about them. But they publish video games.

They did them out. And, yeah, so we talked about the games, a brief overview of them. Well, I'm sure we'll have a Retronaut's formal one about these games in the future. But, yeah, they haven't aged well. They're actually kind of hard to play today because they're not, as far as I could tell, not available for current platforms. You can buy the PC versions, go to old games in Steam, but they are the, like, old DOS versions of the games,

and apparently the ports aren't very good. I remember when Earthform Jim H.D. came out on the 360. Yeah. I think we were both in the press then. and it was just this realization like serious you don't remember this game do you players like this is fucking hard that game looks pretty bad

the HD version and maybe on Xbox series S is that I get it right this time X series X maybe because everything is backwards compatible now you could play it on that platform but that might be the only one you know I don't delisted games you can have them on the 360 like I have the Simpsons game on my 360 file

but I can't play that file on my series X even though I technically own it forever but yeah strangely these are hard to play today that could change in the future who knows but yeah they're not really available and to wrap up the game chat there's been so many

ports of all of the first two games which are the core earthworm gym games that the cartoon is based on the toys are based on so many ports of those and then there are two other like I guess official sequels there's like a Gameboy color game that nobody cares about or is heard of right yeah and then there's Earthworm Gym 3D which

which was the obvious move, but it was, you know, at a time when all 3D games were ugly, barely any of them were playable or at least, you know, more playable than 2D game. And it's awful outside of the fact that Dan Castleneta is voicing Jim in that game as well. That was the one version we rented it. We're like, well, we could get to hear more of Dan as Jim. That's fun. Yeah, my brother and I, it's funny how fast four years can feel like in childhood, because, you know, four years is nothing to me now.

but four years once Jim came out and we were playing on the N64 like we have grown out of this like this is not very good maybe it was also that we played Conquer or other like at least better a reverent

3D platformers as well yeah the gym the gym bubble was so small it was just 94 and 95 after that like everyone had moved on which is why the cartoon ended in right before 97 started just like all right we got to get out by 96 and one of my favorite bits of

Jim trivia is that I believe it's the Sega CD version there's a cheat code you can put in to give him a it's not big head mode but it is basically a parody head of Donkey Kong because they are pissed off the Donkey Kong country outsold them

that holiday season and I think Earthworm Jim appears yes and one of the Clayfighter games he's a character I think the 33 and a third or three and a half whatever the third one is 63 and a third 33 and a third. Yeah. Him and Bougarman, fighting it out.

Paray. All the interplay grates. And I believe Dan is voicing him in that game as well. So he's above that. He really, I mean, this is before he got his big Simpsons payday in season 10. So maybe that's why he was like, I'll do it. Maybe that was in his Earthworm Jim TV show contract. Like you voiced Jim in every commercial and video game and blah, blah, blah. I hope he at least got some good pay for that thing. He's, he already was Jeannie at that time. Like, dude, if you're genie, get big money to be Earthworm Jim. I bet he did. Yeah.

And Earthworm Jim 4 is apparently coming in April of next year being 2021. It's a launch game for the Intellivision Amico. Double. Yeah, a platform I don't understand. That's a different podcast, you know, entirely. But yeah, good luck with all that. It looks like a Wiiware game. It doesn't look good.

It doesn't have the same style the other games had. It just looks cheap and bad. So I don't get it. Frankly, I don't get the Amico, but I have no Intellivision nostalgia. I mean, you have to be in your 50s to have that now. is that the but yeah I don't get the where the Venn diagram overlaps because if you give

his shit about Earthworm Jimmy or Genesis or Supranes. Yeah. You don't know an Intellivision. The Intellivision was like literally what your dad bought from his friend. There's a weird connection in that Tommy Tala Rico who did the music for these games he is the president of

like in television now. Yeah that's right. I figured there's a lot of like friends goofing about with the Earth from gym thing i i guess that's different than like i don't know if it just got bought by microsoft and they just said they just did whatever they did with battle toads and they do it with earth from jim probably would end up with at least a little better game i think so battle toads game seems good i heard it was not bad if you can get over like the the flash

style animation look to it yeah i mean i did i did with streets rage four that's a fine game so oh yeah so Tommy tellerrico he made the music for the first two games and he was like one of the first uh known game musicians like that would be like one of the names you'd see a magazine in like 1997. Yeah, G4 built their whole thing around, well, electric playground and then that went on G4

with Tommy Tolariko, yeah. And his songs in the games are good, but like the games themselves, they just seem arbitrary. A lot of the choices where it's just like, well, why is this song on this level? It feels like he just went off and made a bunch of songs

and brought him to Shiny, and they just like, all right, I guess this is the garbage level song, I guess. I will say the heck level does sound like, it's a funny, intentional for the level song. Yeah, where it goes from the,

the famous, like, Night on Bald Mountain music to elevator music because elevator music plays in hell guys. There's lawyers in hell. This is, well, I mean, that is the Gen X or comedy that is very prevalent in the TV show, too. Yeah. Which I'm not saying is bad, but it's very specific. We hated lawyers in the 90s. You fight lawyers in hell in the first game, and then you fight them in, like, this paperwork world in the second game. I mean, McDonald's really succeeded in making people hate lawsuits.

It's true. all of our humor was based on it. so let's talk about earthworm gym the tv show so brief history uh personal history henry did you watch this show very much so yeah i mean this was part of the uh i was very successfully advertised to by kids wb all all my favorites were back on that channel and so i followed it to it uh but mainly for the warner things and then i get to be surprised by whoa an earthworm gym show and uh and yeah i think honestly i like i have more fond memories about the show

than I do the actual video games. Like I, me and my brother watched them a ton. Not only did we watch them a ton every Saturday, but also, I think we had three VHS official release VHS as a two episodes each other.

There were four total. Oh, okay. Well, maybe we had all four, but we definitely we had more than two and we ran them out. Wow. Yeah, I remember just looking, I looked it up on YouTube before we recorded and I was like there's a thing about like who are the voices like a fake behind the scenes thing they did oh for the tapes yeah for the tapes they were a lot of fun they even the tapes had very fun a reverence to them yeah I definitely watched it because this is why

I host the cartoon podcast by the way our co-host two of them is that the day kids WB premiered was one of the better days of my life where I'm like all of these new episodes all of these new series it's all the cartoons I love so that morning along with Earthworm Jim. We also had new episodes of Animaniacs, so that after like a year of waiting, new Animaniacs, Pinky and the Brain, their series premiered.

Sylvester and Tweety Mysteries. I'm sure it's fine. I never watched it. Sure. Freakazoid. Oh, God, yes, Freakazoid, man. And then the promise that in a year you're getting a Superman show.

Like, I knew the Superman show was coming too. That was, yeah, that Kids WB was quite a launch for the aging kids, but that, you know, behind the scenes, problem that they were getting the aging kids not the toy buying younger kids yeah and that's why Freakazoid was paired with Jim for the last hour so it was like an 11-1130

combo which I guess their theory was like older kids sleep in more so the later shows are for them so yeah or for Jim was the last show of the block and then it just turns into golf or wrestling maybe right well some in some places cable it was a migration

to cable pretty much by then I mean if you were a hardcore wrestling fan in 95 you were watching the cake you were watching the cable version, not the kid's presentation on TV. But, yeah, the, I mean, Freakazoid is the perfect combo for this. They're, like, two sides of the same coin. Just thinking about Freakazoid, I'm just, it's a miracle it was made, and how did it get two seasons? I don't know.

I mean, through the force of Steven Spielberg, that's the only way. I was just watching a lot of mystery science theater over Thanksgiving break, which I normally do. And I'm just hearing all the references that were also in Freakzoid, like, all of these, like, 70s cop shows, all this old Hollywood stuff. I'm like, how did this get on the air? Because all the same stuff as in Freakazoid, all of the boomer humor for people who grew up in the 60s. That's all Freakazoid is. I think it was that like literally executives didn't watch that closely.

Yeah, like I guess Stephen said it was okay. Yeah. All right. I think too on this show, uh, they're having on this show they have fun with like, we're being as violent as we can be. But the,

the executives, the censors and stuff are watching for violence or potty humor. But if you wanted to just like say a. random old celebrity like Lawrence Welk or something you could just say it they're like whatever Or even do an impression of Lawrence Welk which I think Freakazoid did do a few times

Oh yes that's right But yeah so Earthworm Jim was the odd man out Because these were all like prestige Steven Spielberg series just built on the brands Of existing characters or classic characters In Earthworm Jim is an old school We're going to sell you toys cartoon With no Spielberg attachment

It was like the odd duck of the lineup And the only one not produced internally at Warner and that Warner doesn't own it it feels I wonder if they had like we don't have enough money to make the last show for to fill out our lineup like what what can we fill in and they found Jim and I think he was a really good fit for the channel yeah the sense of humor really fit in with you know your animaniacs and you're picking the brain just the irreverent pop culture reliant and slightly naughty humor yeah I think I think it gets maybe they even got to be sillier and more irreverent and also adult focused because they were on the same channel as animaniacs and pinky in the brain.

They're like, well, animaniacs and pinky in the brain get to have these kind of specific references for the adults. Why can't we do it? That's why we also get like a peeing in the snow joke where it's like. I couldn't believe that. Yeah. I forgot that joke. They linger on it for a while. So who developed this series?

So this series was developed for television by Doug Langdale, who basically is the creator of the TV show because he, he was just given concepts because all Earthworm Jim and the bosses are are just concepts for toys. There's no cohesive world they exist in. I mean, the story is like the suit falls to Earth and Jim becomes a hero, but that's basically all there is to it. There's no other lore connecting any of these people. When the game is a joke, then there's no lore for it. Like, yeah, there's just one-off gags for each level. And that's why I think, yeah, Landell, who was story editor, like, that is the head writer who has to pull together all of these things.

Like when you watch the intro to the show, which I got to commend them for like original animation. Yeah. And that song is still in my head to this day. Never left. Yeah. But when you watch the intro, he's like jumping between levels from the game and it's just such a hodgepodge. It's like or when you see all the villains running together in the opening or when they do the team up episodes, they all look like they're from different series. There's no cohesiveness even to their design.

And the designs are always, I think they're all a little too busy to work in limiting. in animation like this or planned animation like this. I feel like they could have been simplified, but then they wouldn't look like the toys they're selling. Well, they simplified him as much as pot. Like, if you look at, you know, Professor Monkey for a head in the game, he is much more detailed than he is in the show. And Queen Slug for her butt too.

Oh, I mean, yeah, Queen Slug for a butt. She loses quite a lot of that butt to be able to even fit on this TV show. And so Doug Langdale, this is a very old school cartoon setup. So there's 23 episodes. He wrote 16 of them. he probably would have written 23 of them if all sorry he probably would have written all of them if he could man it's just like muppet babies you just hire a guy and he write jeffrey scott in a room get him some cocaine get him a typewriter 18 hours later you got 18 muppet babies they all teach a lesson and

you'll just you know send it you gotta send him to japan right now and get him to work on it but yeah just i mean this is also why it's an odd duck for the kids the bbb lineup every other show had like a head writer a writer's room this is just like doug working by himself and a few of the scripts presumably are freelancers writing that he's tuning up yeah yeah i would think langdale uh he's i mean he comes from the disney afternoon and he has the youthful energy like he's he's he's in his mid 20s when he's doing this show so uh you can just spit that stuff out and i think too that's why there's uh i think there's a cohesiveness of like running gags in this too because langdale just remembers like oh yeah that's funny if i why not bring up haggis

again that was a funny bit when i did it three episodes ago And, of course, the cow comes down at the end of every episode. Ah, it's always great. Yeah. And, yeah, I think Langdale got a pretty good gig. I probably didn't pay too well that horrible hours. But, I mean, the amount of freedom he seems to have had in building this world to his very specific, I would say, Monty Python and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, heavily informed style comedy. Like, he gets to just live it in this show.

Yeah, I gave him a chance to be a showrunner. which he'd do in the future. Before this show, though, he was on, like you said, Henry and Disney Afternoon stuff. He was a story editor and writer on the Darkwing Duck series and the Aladdin series. And I will say, yeah, it is like a sort of Darkwing duck level of a reverend humor with a superhero. I didn't even think that maybe that's why Cummings is on this show too, that Jim Cummings, that he's, he works so well with him on Darkwing. And I definitely think, I'd wonder if Tad Stones made him like a special like mentorship project because it was, it was on his shows like on Aladdin as well. that he really gave Langdale a lot of opportunity for such a young guy.

Unfortunately, I couldn't find an interview with Langdale about this series, but I can tell you what he did after. So he co-created the short-lived series Project Geeker, and then he would go on to create by himself the Weekenders and Dave the Barbarian. And we have a, what a cartoon episode about the Weekenders, which was one of the many kids doing stuff cartoons of the late 80s early odds. Sorry, late 90s early odds. Yeah, for a time right after September.

September 11th, 2001, for a time, it was the Shining Star, the Weekenders of one Saturday morning, like, with variety in a press release. They called it the Pokemon killer, which really meant it beat Pokemon in the ratings one Saturday once. And so, I mean, but Disney was smart. You know, if you beat Pokemon once, get that in the trades and tell everybody like, Pokemon's over. It's the weekenders now. Variety will write a classy headline about it or a snappy headline. And as we all remember, like, the Weekenders was just as popular as Pokemon. Kids remember it just as strongly.

I just downloaded the new Weekenders game for my Switch. Yeah. The Weekender Snap is coming very soon. Actual millennials love that cartoon. We are fake millennials and that we are just, we are just a hair's breadth away from Gen X. Yeah, yeah. Though, I mean, I can see the appeal of that weekenders. We had a good time watching.

And it also has a similar Earthworm Jim sense of humor of, like, randomness. Definitely randomness. And also just a kind of, I wouldn't call it like counterculture exactly, but definitely like a looking down or at American society or just like, man, we're kind of shallow, aren't we? Like those kind of thoughts, which I really loved in this episode, rewatching it. Oh, on Langdale, I did want to say, too, if you guys want to watch on YouTube, he also has uploaded like recent stand-up of his. Oh, he does stand-up too.

Yeah, in the last year or something, I think he went to like, obviously not in 2020. he went to some open mic nights and it seems like he was like hey i'm i'm trying to work out my comedy yet and he had some funny like you know if you're worried about his politics or anything he did a lot of fun like anti-trump and and pro-gay stuff so i'm like okay he's he seems at least like cool hollywood liberal type in his i mdb picture he's got like a cool red mohawk yeah though sometimes you know the you see guys with cool red mohawks and they they start telling you about like, yeah, and conservatism is the new punk man. Have you ever read Atlas Shrug?

You got to look at what their t-shirt says first. After you see the Mohawk look down a little bit. But, yeah, no, I couldn't find an interview. He seems like a cool guy. Still fairly young. He got an early start and he's still writing to this day. But I did want to talk about the voice cast before we go on to the cartoon because... Oh, man, what a cast.

They brought out the big guns. So number one, Earthworm Jim, Dan Castaneta, Homer Simpson himself, and also the false genie. But to me, I like that genie. There's far more hours of him as genie than there is Robin Williams. Oh, so many more. And he's the video game genie too. Like, well, Robin Williams was him in one point click adventure before you correct you. In Math Quest.

Yeah, it's fine. But in Kingdom Hearts, Dan Castellaneta is the genie in it. So, yeah. And he is not, I don't feel like I've ever heard something where like Dan is phoning it in. Even when he's having to do like Homer Simpson talks to investors at this meeting. I feel like he's trying. Like he just doesn't have it in him to. take it easy. He is giving

it his all. I don't know if this is a role he could do 25 years later because Earthworm Jim is always screaming. He is always screaming. His maniacal laughter he has to do, it's like, no, this is every line that he does. Like, it's not, it's not like the one time every Simpsons episode where Homer has

to like go crazy or whatever. This is every time he's like, eat dirt you, brother! Like, uh, that was hard for three seconds. I think he was probably like around our age when he was doing this role too. Yes, yeah. But, yeah, so Dan Castellaneta as Earthworm Jim also mega, huge voice actors like Jeff Bennett. He plays like the very John Cleese, Lord Bravery-style announcer.

It is just his Lord Bravery voice. You're right. I mean, yes, you're right. It's just the enough of something completely different. Yeah. I mean, it's not even necessary. I feel like that narration just removes animation from the equation. Like, what if he talked over this establishing shot?

We could save 20 seconds of animation in every episode. Yeah, it did lead to good jokes, too, of Jim just going. like, excuse me, Mr. narrator, what? Like, he'd get mad at him sometime where they'd talk to each other. That I always love the, meanwhile, like, Peter Puppie is just like, just average dude voice.

I'm pretty sure, like, that's also Jeff Bennett, but I didn't look that up. I believe so. And he's Johnny Bravo, man. Yeah. It's funny that he's both, he's the Pipsqueak Peter Puppie and the ultimate stud Johnny Bravo. And he is Dexter's dad on Earthworm Gym on Dexter's lab.

He's great. Oh, God. Dexter's dad, one of the best. I love that. I love that voice. Hey, he's also a very boomer comedy, like, magnet, Dexter's dad. I mean, they live in, like, the 60s family, Dexter and Dede. But, yeah, we have so many people on this cast.

Charlie Adler, of course, the first Buster Bunny. The greatest. Jim Cummings, who was Darkwing Duck, also Pete and, like, Winnie the Pooh, like, the biggest cartoon characters Jim Cummings has voiced. Yeah, he's psychro, but also he's two other, he's one of their most, like, utility voices in this series like I I was so glad in watching this one to see

to see one character come back in this and Jim Cummings I was like I wonder how many times he played Santa wouldn't it be fun to just point that out but then I went to his IMDB and frankly he played Santa too much so I can't count all the Santa's he played but he played a lot of Santa's I'm glad you investigated that because I

definitely watching this I was like man he has to have played Santa more than five times at least across across multiple companies According to like word find and replace or whatever on on Firefox, he played him at least 14 other times. Wow. And I, this is a really fun way of playing Santa. I really, not to get ahead of ourselves, but I really like what they do with Santa.

I wish they played up as a sociopathie more. Yeah. Just what a jerk he is. I think they put it right to the line of what would be allowed on a kids TV show. I mean, honestly, I can't believe they let Santa be even this evil in a kids TV show. But yeah, we also have. have Kath Sousy, of course, and just so many other mega huge, you know, stars. So, like, even like Ben Stein, Kevin Michael Richardson, Brad Garrett, Billy West, April

Rinchel, and Andrea Martin is a queen slug for a butt. So, like, the famous comedian from SETV is in this as well. She is the greatest. I, when I hear her in this, I'm like, man, she should be voice acting and more stuff. She's just so good. I also loved her as Julie Klausner's mom on difficult people from a few years back. She's great in that. I mean, she's always awesome.

And I think she has cool choices in the stuff she makes, too. Like, she's, when Hedwig and the Angry Inch came out, like, that would just be, you know, this weird gay musical thing. But she was the most famous person in it and I think lended a lot more credit, early credibility to, you know, an underground queer film that really needed it. I appreciate that, too. She's really great in this. In fact, I think they're more interested in her than in Jim in this episode because I feel like she's in it almost as much as he is. Oh, yeah, yeah, they go, I mean, this is so late in the production. They know that she's, she's not just there to be the evil cackling, like, queen.

She can just say tons of hilarious lines and sell them perfectly. Like, yeah, that she's the opening sketch villain and the full episode villain. It's quite a lot of slug for a butt for your dollar in this one. And this was a cartoon meant to sell things. And once it did its job, it went away, and it just served its purpose. And it was fairly pleasant. It was weird to see this kind of a cartoon this late. I'm sure there are other ones,

but especially as part of this block, this Toyetic cartoon, which Freakazoid made fun of, it taught the kids of the world what Toyetic meant. It was the next cartoon in the block. Yeah, yeah, I think it is like the last of its kind, along with, we had that with the Space Monkeys. Yeah, that's right. That was like one of the last, or street sharks.

It came, these ones that, once they come post-94, they're trying to keep the toy train going but it had shifted it had and what it shifted to it wasn't the kids bought less toys it's that they bought 17 of the same Batman except a different color like that

as superheroes pretty much just had fully taken it over I think by the mid-90s I mean they knew what they were doing with the toys because like I said there were five gym variants and like a lot of the villains were bundled together in the same sets

which as a young toy buyer it bugged me because I was like I don't I don't need a third version of Jim because if I'm going to be playing out stories Jim's not going to talk to Jim all that much Which battle damage version do you want? I can't believe they got away with like

Yeah we own the evil Jim too Which was just like it's just the same sculpt But Green and they gave him a different head I'm glad you brought him up Because actually I do remember a few jokes From this cartoon just from my youth And one of them is You know regular Jim is fighting evil Jim

And then regular Jim says Wait a minute if you're the Bizarro version of me, wouldn't you not want to win? And he says, don't take things so literally or something like that. But I was like, no one ever thought of pulling that on Bizarro Superman. That's right. Wouldn't you want to lose if you're the Bizarro version of me? Oh, man, that's such a good joke.

Yeah. Yeah, there's so many good jokes in the show. I think they, like another of my favorites in an opening sketch, I forget the episode, but the opening sketch is that they are going to save the president in the White House. They go up to the guy, and he's just like a white guy with orange hair. And Jim goes like, you don't look like the president. And he says, I'm one of those generic presidents. They put in TV shows so it doesn't date it and reruns.

I did. That's another one I remember. Yeah, there are some inspired moments. I will say, like, the worst quality of the show is the animation, which it's a fairly high-budget show for what it is. But, again, the designs don't lend that well in animation, especially with the budget that's being given to the show. So, like, it's not visually that interesting.

And I think a lot of the visual jokes are messed with because of just the pipeline and the lack of money and how fast they had to make these. I wouldn't call it like terrible or super cheap looking because we have watched Street Sharks or even like the Saban shows that had good writing like X-Men or Spider-Man. You could tell they were stretching every dollar possible on screen. This one, I mean, next to Freakazoid in the same hour long. block this looks cheap very cheap definitely but in the realm of toys to be sold into syndication uh like it it looks better i think it looks better than bucky o'hare oh i think so too yeah or like to compare to a previous uh show we we mean you talked about our retronauts the uh sonic extreme christmas blast like that that looks like dog shit compared to this yeah it's at least better

than that but i guess yeah being next to freaksoid like going from a tms freakazoid one of the few. Slamming into Earthworm Jim, it was a jarring experience. For sure. So this is not streaming anywhere, but there's still a DVD that's still in print, and it's fairly cheap.

It's under 20 bucks. So if you want all 23, it's there. But yeah, like this series existed for 15 months to sell two games and one toy line, and that's what it did. They don't want you to have any nostalgia for it

or anything like that. And I think, too, it's, I was really surprised it wasn't on Peacock. Yeah. Because it's a universal production And Peacock is where No one cares to watch The Savage Dragon cartoon show

That was on USA Network No one signs up for Peacock to see it But it, along with say The film Roman Felix Acad and other shows They're just on Peacock to have another Just chunk of content Like hey, if you sign them, you can watch it So I'm really surprised that

They don't have Earth from Jim in there I wonder if it is like a partial rights thing with Shiny that they didn't sign streaming deals for that or something? It's a licensed character they may have to reapply for the license or whatever. Yeah, who knows but I mean it's still, if you want to buy the DVDs still available and of course if you type Earthworm Jim

and an episode title you might be able to find it online because nobody really cares about this. Yeah, yeah. There's not, though you know, YouTube is more stringent than I thought it would be. But they're out there and the DVD set it's a fine DVD set. At the very least there's a lot of shows

like Mighty Max and others that are just lost. Like nobody even cared to dump television masters onto a disc. God, yeah. And it's like you can watch bad VHS reps of that show. But that's another one that needs to be preserved. But yeah, if you want to find it, it's out there. So now we're on.

the episode itself for whom the jingle bell tolls. I don't know if I mentioned this up front, but this is the last episode of Earthworm Jam because it was just like there were 10 for fall of 96. The 10th one happened and it was the last one and it was in December. So there you have it. Man, that's a real like cheap out

like you don't even renew for 13. You're like, we'll take 10 more. Sure, fine. Yeah, what a slap in the face. And one, it just has to be the Christmas episode just in case they are like, well, we can rerun this forever. It's the Christmas episode like it every cartoon show has to have a Christmas episode like that's how we're able to

talk about so many cartoon ones uh because that was just the demand of it it's pay dirt for us i and i it's funny to chart the um level of sincerity going down like every year like the the one the earliest ones is like the pacman one which is very sincere it's like oh the spirit of christmas and even the super mario one is like it's still The Spirit of Christmas thing. But by Sonic, it's kind of joky. And then this one is just, it dumps it all. And the Sonic one, he becomes Santa Claus.

Yeah, Santa is very happy. Like, you're Santa now. All right. Yeah. I like how they point out in this one and just like everyone does this where we have to save Santa. That is the plot of every one of these. I love it. I love that Peter Puppie knows that they are in a very stock idea of a Christmas episode.

Like, that's not the one where Santa is. adapt. And the writer of this episode is John Loy. So on our other podcast, What a Cartoon. And yes, most of this episode is an ad for What a Cartoon, by the way. We do the same thing over there. But on that episode of Back to the Future of the animated series, we did the premiere of that one called Brothers. And the writer of that one, John Loy wrote this one. He was in the universal cartoon studios world. Yeah, maybe he had some overall deal of like, yeah, you owe us six scripts. We'll tell you which series you're going to do it on. And yeah, he worked on other universal productions like Back to the Future. the problem child cartoon and a lot of land before time sequels he wrote them himself that was really what universal I think is probably the only

real success they had because those it turned into a joke as a kid or as a team getting older was like oh wow land before time too I'm so excited and then eventually land before time 14 come on they eventually stop and I'm surprised like there's always

a market for those movies it was interesting that they kept choosing to number them as a new film instead of like making it I mean the money sync had to be the same as making it a regular TV show but they they always sold them as a direct to video movie they were the OVAs of their time it's true

but the animation sucked yes oh yeah but yeah so John Loy he's been writing animation for 35 years still doing it today so that's the guy behind this one but this episode opens with a classic decorating the house scene and of course a joke that I always like even though it dates back to the

40s is your secret hideout with a giant billboard and arrow pointing to it saying this is my secret hideout you're right that joke is it's right there in the duck twicey cartoon and there it is there I and well there is something uh that feels funny of just seeing a dan castlenetic character having an accident as he puts the christmas lights on there's there's something to that too and his voice for jim we'll hear it a lot I don't know how to describe it it's like it feels it feels uh completely unique Dan voice to me. Yeah, I can't. I mean, it's like the manicness, if you, if you hear Homer say like, go crazy, don't mind if I do. Like, that's kind of the voice. But it's also not exactly like for the

evil gym, it's his megavolt voice. Right. Yeah, that's just completely what it is. It feels like just Dan's voice, but with more superhero bravado. Yeah. But then you can hear like crusty in his voice when he goes crazy. When he goes crazy as Jim and screams. Okay. The crusty comes through. in there. But yeah, I think it's a they, he found an original voice to give to this lead, which is the biggest demand of being the lead in a show like this. Like, you really, I mean, I guess you could get away with it. If it, if it just sounded exactly like, Krusty, what's Disney going to do? Sue him, like, it's just a man's voice. But, uh, you're expected to have, to bring something unique to it. And he definitely is a star of the show and more ways than one. So much. Yeah.

And they hit the eat dirt catchphrase so early. Right. Yeah. Well, I'm sure. groovy was said on this at some point. It's in it's in the opening every time and I feel like he says it a bit but eat dirt turned into his thing like eat dirt you blah blah blah blah blah blah I watched a

on YouTube there was a seven minute compilation I think of every time he said eat dirt or eat yogurt or some play on it and my favorite part of every eat dirt was he go like eat dirt and then he would just cackle maniacally while blasting

his gun in every direction. They're so lucky they gave him a laser gun to shoot because he fires that thing a lot. Though bug me, the rules of car, he got to shoot it more than most characters get to shoot guns and cartoons in the 90s, but he never gets to hit any or very rarely gets to hit stuff. I think they got away with more violence than most shows did, like definitely more than the turtles got away with in their like, you know, most cartoonish days. Yeah, because Jim can fire his gun at someone, but they turn into like, you know, in a loony tunes when you get blown up by dynamites, basically, just like a pile of.

of ashes. Yeah, maybe that was their loophole. They're like, hey, this is no more violent than what happens in those Bugs Bunny cartoons airing on ABC at the same time. And Jim's voice in the games is way different than this before Dan showed up. Really? Yeah, it's like, ow! Like, it's like a weird Texas twang.

Yes, yeah. And I was thinking about it a lot this morning. It's just like, why was it funny that he said groovy? Is it because we weren't saying groovy in the 90s? Was that the joke? I mean, it could also be that they enjoyed the film Army of Darkness and Evil Dead, too. I think Duke Newcomb said it first.

Oh, yeah, that's right. I'm sorry. Duke Hucum, the inventor of Umpstay and gruey. Chewing bubble gum, kicking ass. He said all those things. Yeah, and tearing off someone's head and crapping down it. Like, he did it all that Duke Nukum, a real innovator. Should have been a lawsuit.

But so, yeah, this is when during this house decorating scene, Queen's slug for a butt shows up. We hear her entire, entire name in this next clip. Queen pulsating, bloated, festering, sweaty, pus-filled, malformed slug for a butt. Earthworm. Jim? I shall destroy you!

And you too, you mutt! Hey, you made me toss my cookies. Eat, festive dirt! Get this spoiler of holidays! Wait! I almost forgot. For me? You shouldn't have. Oh, twernt nothing.

is so sweet you gave me that last year so it's some nice luny tunes humor and I was I was thinking Dan's screaming voice for Earthworm Jim reminds me of the when do we get the freaking guns guy yeah yeah actually I think his

his militarism and once it's like gun shooting is probably very similar to him I mean on the tort nothing I hear a little of rich Texan in there but yeah it's just him screaming and laughing is he like there's the secret to him playing earthworm jim is that he is a mentally unhinged

violent man who just happens to be uh the good guy of this cartoon show there are definitely some jokes they wouldn't make today on this show oh yes yeah you totally right jim is very troubled but uh they got away with a you made me tossed by cookies joke too yeah that's cute in the same cold opening with the p joke we'll get too later but yeah there's a there's an action set piece basically like jim throws a snowman display over her wraps her with christmas lights pulls the christmas lights flops her into a sled and then straps his rocket that we see in the games to that whole mess and blast her off and threw his secret headquarters sign into space. And then it turns into a salsa hut stand instead, which, you know, the green and red,

it works for a Mexican restaurant sign or for a Christmas lights. It's Tom's Mexican salsa hut, which is a nice antigram, I guess. Oh, that is good, yeah. And also, I mean, the comedy of a man named Tom running a salsa hut. That's funny, too. And I guess that's when we get to the scene where they're talking about the meaning of Christmas. And there's like a little aside where Jim spots Peter's name written in the snow. I mean, it's not like yellow, but you understand the joke. Yeah. And I mean, especially the reaction

shot of Peter going like, ooh, like that. I was, I was honestly shocked. Like I think as a kid, I didn't get that, you know. And yeah, so Jim talks about we still have the true meaning of Christmas and Peter says, pretending to like all the lousy presents you get. And he says, you got it, Fuzz, buddy. So we're taking down Christmas in 1996. I love you. This is an incredibly cynical cartoon by 96 kids' cartoon standards. And I like that Peter will put that into practice at the end of the episode by pretending to like a gift he is given. And then we get the Earthworm Jim song, and I'll just drop that in right here.

Earthworm Jim. The soil he did crawl. Earthworm Jim. A super super fall. Jim was just a dirt eating chewy, chewy length of worm flash. but all that came to a crash again. Earthwork Jim! He's such a grovey guy.

Earthwork Jim! He rockets through the sky. Cruising to the universe, having lots of fun. Here comes Earth and Jimmy know that he's a mighty one. The Earth! Despite his great big muscles and his really big way gun. Jim is still an earthworm, but then he's the only one. With a super suit to make him really super strong

Jim can be a winner if we only sing a lot All right! Hurtworm Jim! We think he's mighty fine. A hero for all time! Earthworm! Earthworm! Hurtworm!

Hurtworm Jim! Three, four, Geroovey! It's a nice way to kill a minute, I'll say that. And it does capture the general tone of the W.B. show surrounding it, except it doesn't name a thousand characters. characters. Yeah, you know, I didn't even consider it being of the type of the freakazoid or animaniac

opening, but it is like, say, it, it also does follow the rules of TMNT of repeat the name over and over again, so kids remember it, but I, boom, Jim. You think he might, he fine. Yeah, that it, it, it shows you every villain, but doesn't name them, but it, and just seeing them go around the other stages from the game, I like, I mean, this is, compare it to. Super Mario Bros. Super Show where you go to like freaking, you know, Sumo Land or whatever, I think it is, this is much more true to whatever lore is in the video games as far as that goes. And I always love the cutaway of he activates Peter Puppies' Evil Side and then it cuts to him sleeping as a joke about censorship. They're like, well, we can't show him tearing Jim apart.

That little interlude with him sleeping in a hammock and inhaling a butterfly is. very funny and very well animated. I will say that. They saved the best animation for up front like they normally do. Yeah. And a little bit in the credits at the end of him like smashing his head against the wall. Occasionally you can get a little good animation of a floppy wormhead

squishing around. And if they had a little more money, I think they could have done more with hats. Oh, and also the drawings of him is like with the big 50s hair or also him in the snail body. Like that's very fun. Those are cute drawings. And I remember

I had a weird memory of this and that my friend in like 95 had a computer with a CD-ROM drive and back in that day some magazines would come on a CD-ROM like this magazine called Blender and I remember they had like a thing about cartoons like a feature about cartoons

on the CD-ROM magazine and the Tick was on the cover of the magazine but they also talked about Earthworm Jim and they had the entire opening you could watch so we watch it over and over in a little put-time window you could watch being able able to watch an opening whenever you felt like it was magical at a certain time.

It was probably the worst quality ever. It was like lesser than an animated gift, but we had fun with it in 1995. I wish me and my brother taped this off TV. We didn't. So even though we really enjoyed Earthroom Jim and rewatch those VHS episodes of that handful, there are many we don't. I have like some that I have super memorized because they run those VHS tapes and ones that are more, uh, that are a lot more spotty just because I watched him in reruns and never taped him off TV. Like this one. So now we're more than three minutes in. The episode can fully

starts. And the cold opening is such a fun sheet eat up time, isn't it? Oh, yeah. They're always fine. Usually they aren't even connected to the second segment. And I mean, this basically isn't because queen slug for a butt doesn't treat. The first one is having just happened.

But other times it's like, oh, he'll fight Cycro in the opening two minute thing. And then the rest of the episode he's fighting the fishbowl guy whatever his name was yeah i mean the characters are so thin that it's it's honestly i'm surprised they went with full length episodes for them and not like shorts you know yeah just uh the uh the 11 minute thing would work better but you know maybe then you got a the pay scale gets different and it's like what are you paying you know landel to do uh 20 or sorry 44 11 minute things that might cost you more money than 23 uh 20 i got i got to see that contract but we're at the beginning of the episode, and we're on Insectica, which I don't remember from the games, but that's where Queen Slug for a Bud lives.

And earlier we heard Jim say her entire name, which is actually the factual name of the character, but we don't say it all the time. And in 96, it felt to have a regular character with the word butt in their name seemed, that was a little rival. That's 1130 territory, buddy. We're not airing that at 9. Maybe that's really why it's on at 1130. You need, you can say putty tat all you want, but you can't say Slug

for a bud. Can you say potty emergency? A potty emergency? So yes, she's engaging in unspeakably vile activity exercise. And we see her engaging in some light aerobics and she feels good about herself and that's the important thing, which is like a body positive message for 96, I will

say. Yeah, it feels like a joke about the self-actualizing fitness tapes of the Jane Fonda era for sure. And especially the idea of like, well, you shouldn't feel good about yourself because you have a giant slug butt. But I I also, whenever I see your scepter, I'm reminded of another just great gag in the show

was that I forget why it was a road trip episode where they go to a stuckees and they buy a nut log and they find out that you can't eat it. It can't even be like cut or change in any way. So at the end of the episode, Erthirm Jim realized how he can beat her. He throws the nut log at her super powerful scepter and it is tougher than her scepter even and shatters it. That's another joke I remember. Yeah, we were never subjected to. these nut logs or the fruit cakes we'll see

at the beginning or so at the end of the episode of like our generation missed these things when I think of that nut log yeah I never bought one but I knew it as a Sam and Max hit the road joke too like you can very all of these same Steve Purcell Langdell all these guys came from the same you know road trip with your

with your parents through the 70s lifestyle they we we live different lives of going nowhere and buying toys and watching cartoons like this yeah so yeah the queen has this this little assistant called the archbug, her palace loony, and this is how she finds out all about Christmas.

It's quite simple, actually. Santa Claus travels to every home on earth in one night, leaving gifts for every good little girl and boy. And... Hang on! The toads of fate are one thing. But that's just plain ridiculous. But your festerence, he has a magical flying sleigh.

A magical flying sleigh. Well, why didn't you say so? in the first place. My mistake, your blooditude? I mean, it sounded so absurd, but once you mention the magical sleigh, it all made perfect sense.

Yes, I have it on the highest authority in the universe. Earth television. Your ending, Borgen, Sinterklaas? Ufftah! Now, tell Paul the truth, or Santa Claus will leave a lump of coal in.

and you're stalking. Uh-huh. Yeah. Right, pop. Today's topic, kids who caught their moms kissing Santa Claus and moms who are proud of it. So. That's dirty. Yeah.

Though I guess she's proud that she kissed her husband, you know. But to tell, to have it be the parents, the mom telling their kid, I'm proud I kiss Santa Claus. I'm glad you saw it. But that's weird. It took me a while to realize. that song was about the kids saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus because that was actually the dad

dressed up as Santa. That's growing up is learning that that's what that song is always about. Santa's dead but your dad gets kisses. Your kid, yeah, at least be happy your dad got sexually rewarded for dressing up his Santa Claus. I mean that is a good

that a father would even be that involved in helping with gifts and then to not only help lay out the gifts but dress up his Santa Claus in case his kids catch him doing that we've lost these values of society but yeah I always parents should dress as Santa Claus before they lay

out those toys never happened to me but yeah I like I always like to see the irreverence about Santa Claus and kids stuff where when you are I don't know seven or eight you start to question these things like wait a minute how could he do this this and this but apparently the magic sleigh is what makes it make sense to Queen Slug Furibut

yeah I like that for her that as they get the edge up to questioning the reality of it many times and then the joke has to be like well no an even sillier thing explains why it's true like that kid though who is being warned about the colonist stocking he knows it all he's like yeah sure dad like but i mean on that's as close as you can get to on a kid show back then you obviously couldn't say santa claus isn't real like you could never you wouldn't get away with that and i'd see that

as like i don't know it's weird for me that i would i'd be more upset if a kid show said that if they said Jesus is a lie or whatever, anything about a religion. That's, I guess, I guess consumerism is much more my religion than, than Christ. In this episode, Santa Claus is real.

He's a real bastard. Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, and I also, I do just love the light of like, I have it on the highest authority of the universe, Earth television.

This actually reminds me a lot of Santa Claus conquers the Martians. Whoa. When, like, another planet wants Santa Claus and they find out about him through TV. Well, you're right. You know,

I wouldn't be surprised. if this is an intentional reference to that because that was, you know, the kitsy garbage TV that they, that those kids grew up. I'm like, when MST3K mocked it, I would think a lot of,

of boomers watching it then knew it as like, oh, yeah, that terrible film. That had to be a staple of like Saturday afternoon programming for decades. So yeah, Queen Slug for a Butt wants to capture Santa Claus, uses power to conquer the earth, and then we go to the North Pole.

And there's Santa Claus, he's there, of course, and he's examining this, fashion doll beach house, but there's a little problem, and that problem is it all fits together perfectly. So he orders an elf to remove a single part from each box after smashing the beach house.

So we see some nice commentary on this, the shoddy merchandise the show is trying to sell, I guess. Oh, yeah. I love that joke. Why is it hard for parents to put together a dollhouse or build any toy for their kid ahead of time? Well, it's because Santa intentionally

does it to drive them insane. He's like, this is a cruel taskmaster a couple times they play him as just regular Santa but I much prefer him as a guy who has elves that are basically his serfs who he tortures and and also he wants to drive parents insane I was never a part of that sort of situation where you see the TV commercials your parents help you put it together it's like my parents were not helping me I had to learn these things on my own well now it is the responsible parent doesn't put them together they take the video game console out of the box beforehand and update it the night before.

That's an important Christmas lesson for all of you parents out there. Download those firmware updates. Otherwise, you're going to be waiting until noon on Christmas Day or whatever day you open gifts during the holiday season. And you're going to be waiting a long time to update everything. And then also download all the games you purchased. Well, Billy, cyberpunk needs to update. Look, I know you really wanted Miles Morales. It hasn't copied off the disc yet.

I'm sorry. So we also see some more scenes of Santa Claus abusing his help. So he calls the elf to help him take out or just basically take the parts out of the boxes. All the sea parts. He also is like, take off my boots. And then when the elf is reluctant, he goes, don't cross me, boy. Oh, God, yeah. Later we find out the, they leave it to your imagination what he does with figgy pudding.

But I like to assume it's waterboarding. Let's say that. Yeah, yeah. That's the, I guess, least offensive option. Look, I want it to be that that hole that gets messed with when I'm talking about here. So while this is happening, Queen's like for a butt knocks down his wall, comments on his foot odor. And she tells them she's going to be transforming him from the symbol of good to the symbol of ultimate evil. I should be using more dogs are barking to mean feet smell bad.

They usually mean your feet just hurt. Yeah, I've never heard dogs are barking for like feet stench. I like the idea that barking, which is sound, translates to a strong odor somehow. What smells like boot feed in here? And then we are at the Turlock Mall. And I was like, Turlock, what does that mean? I googled it. Turlock is the town they live in.

So I don't think it means anything outside of that. I would have figured it be some sort of joke, like Frostbite Falls or whatever. It's not like, again, not in the games. Jim does not live in a house in the games. But yes, here is Jim at the mall. Coming through one side. Lady with a baby. Jim, you have to wait in line for Santa like everybody else.

Oh, but the longer I wait, the weather Santa's lap gets. You know, this Santa guy's very suspicious, especially the naughty and nice thing. You know, who is he to judge us anyway? I'm not to kick his butt. But my inedible fruitcake of seasonal delight, that's not the real Santa. Not the real?

Santa? No. Mall Santas are merely the actual Santa's duly deputized representatives ordained in a mysterious arcane ceremony held under cover of darkness at the North Pole. I'm told the whole thing is very spiritual and touching. So, how does the real Santa know what you want for Christmas? I'm glad you asked, Princess. The mall Santas are connected to him via a psychic link, which operates through their magical, phony beards. Where did you hear all this anyway? The voices in my head called me.

So our hero is clinically insane. Yes, yeah. But, yeah, Dan makes any line reading 38% funnier. I've heard it's very spiritual. I love it. It's very spiritual. Yeah, that he shifts. Jim can just shift into another voice as needed.

He's mostly his voice. But, yeah, and I forgot the Princess What's Her Name is kind of like this. she's written to be like this hippie outsider or just somebody who questioned society at most turns she's like is this what your human society does I don't understand They had to make something of her Because the joke in the games was

She's just a nothing She's just like the McGuffin Yeah yeah I mean with rock and bod But just yeah she's The point that she's a what's her name is Is all That's how useless she is as a character I'll tell you what I googled her to be like

You know what did she look like in the games I got a lot of images I wasn't expecting They search on for that one. Just the warning for all of you out there. Man, I mean the another episode I watched had them all get like inflated. It was like inflation porn as well. It was that monkey for a head blasts people with his fat rain.

So it turned everybody fat. I am quote unquote glad you brought that up. I think I've talked about this before. But when I'm doing research about cartoons, often there will not be any images of the cartoon except on one place, the inflation wiki if Max from Goof Troop got inflated he'll be there every frame of it

every one of that yeah I've I have found it I've been taken to other specific fetish websites not just for that like also the the one I always remember was I could not find any footage of this one

time only aired basically it was a the Justice League but the Sunny and Share show kind of thing but the only plays I could find it was a specific YouTube that's only about women in tall boots it had every clip of the

characters who are women in tall boots and that it was just every frame that they were on. No I mean no shame that's a wholesome fetish. Yeah I don't want to judge that at all. You know I was looking at Dan Castlenet as IMDB and after the 90s he did not really do as much voice acting I wonder why he got so into it because he is on so many things

as regular characters often the lead of the show but yeah maybe he was just trying to show the Simpsons, you know, producers, like, I can do other stuff, pay me more. Yeah, I think he, you know, was, he was a work-a-day voice actor who I think got a certain more level of prestige, but I mean, I do think it was that they got a big, they got a big raise at the end of the decade, and that was why he could be more choosy. I don't need to go anywhere else. No more worm work for me.

Though it was special, like in Duck Tales, uh, 2017, when Megavolt said like two lines, they did they did get him back for it oh really he came back i still need to watch those just for one of them i think in the more recent one were megavolt's in it uh he is not megavolt but though they still got back mike bell to be a quacker jack so jim jumps on santa's lap and it turns out to be his old cellmate walter which i guess jim has a history of being in prison yes so i believe he gets wrongly accused of something they take away his super suit and put him in jail and so Wallace, I remember very well because the way that Jim Cummings said,

Dental Flath. But I look back on it now and that was the children's TV show version of a don't drop the soap kind of joke that he turns Jim into dental floss is what he does as his prison cellmate.

I figured it was one of those styles of jokes. I'm surprised kids cartoons in the 90s could do. Yes, yeah. It was kind of shocking, honestly, to think back on it now. but I just remember how cute it was to hear Jim Cummings as this snagletooth monster man. And I love, too, in the shot of him or the ordaining of other Santas, it's a payment of money to Santa at a cash register that just lets people be them.

I also think that shot of Peter Puppie, that's supposed to be the kids at home who are just like, that's not the real Santa? I guess it draws into the lore of like, when you start figuring things out as a kid, I even heard this, like the helper thing. Yeah, yeah. But the helper thing is now just like a very strange, just kind of cultish thing where there are psychic powers involved. Well, I mean, I hate that elf on the shelf thing. That's what my least favorite.

I'm glad I never lived through that era. As I look at that from the outside and be like, what are you doing to your children? It's getting them used to the surveillance stage. Like, you were always watched. I guess if you can comfort them and obviously you can't get rid of the surveillance state. So I guess it helps them deal with it better. But yeah, no, I was just thinking of that whole thing of that you have to say, Oh, no, they're Santa's helpers.

It all just stumps from like a mall decided decades ago. We're going to have Santa added and that brings kids there and then their parents spend money. And then once, you know, it spread out so much, you were able to know that like, well, wait, my friend saw a different Santa at a different mall. And you have to then make up a cover for this consumerist bullshit that is all just about bringing people into a mall. Is Santa being visited this year? Is he, like, in a hazmat suit? What's the situation there? Are you Zoom chatting with Santa?

I bet there has to be like, pay five bucks you zoom chat with Santa. For sure, there has to be. Though, I mean, I feel, I do feel bad for those mall Santa guys, like, who they grow their beard all year. And now, but then again, like, they are at the most at risk. Like, they can't, an actual old man should not be being touched by all those people. They already were disease sponges. Yes, yeah. All those kids coughing and sneezing.

They make jokes about the kids just getting liquids on Santa. Yeah, that's the second piss joke in this episode, actually. But, yeah, at this point in the episode, Walter, the Jim's former Selma gets an alert on his psychical beard. So what was true? Yeah. Jim heard in his head was true. Jim is crazy, but that part was true. And Jim wants a pony.

So it's weird to hear a Dan Castellan of a character want a pony. Oh, yeah. He's a steal that from Lisa. It's a great run through the whole episode, his wish for a pony. And, oh, sorry, and Walter calls him floppy dischead? Oh, yeah, that was what he called him in prison, too. And he calls him former dental floss as well. Okay, I couldn't make it out, but I think it's pretty risky to call someone a disc head.

They were getting away with that. I mean, there's another bit in here that, like, fully sounded like they said a dirty word. But it's, I just love Jim's childlike excitement at Santa Claus, that it makes Peter the much more mature of the two of them, as it usually was. Sort of like, let's say, no, Peter Griffin and Brian. He actually is the exact same combo. Investigate. Investigates

McFarlane. He ripped this off. So Jim assembles his stalwart lumberjacks to save Santa and his pony and they arrive at the North Pole. And gasp of horror, Santa is gone. Santa is gone. And no Santa means, no

Christmas. How well, at least we still have Hanukkah and Kwanza. You don't understand, puppy boy. Without Christmas, the U.S. economy will collapse. Anarchy will rain. And I won't get my pony. Your point? We are doomed.

Doomed, I tell you, doomed for those keeping score at home. Yeah! Wow, so amazing screaming. That's why I cut that clip out. But I love the moral, which is like, Christmas needs to exist so the U.S. economy won't collapse. Yeah, we're... We need it to live. We're really tested it this year in 2020, I think.

But yeah, it's... We've broken every other holiday so far. That this... It's funny we just did that South Park very crappy Christmas that has the same, same moral to the story there. But yeah, to see in a 1996 kids cartoon, Earth, Jim just screaming like, no, it's that it's to prevent the fall of the American economy and prevent anarchy. And Peter is right to point out, it's like, well, there are other holidays in December. It's like, that doesn't matter. matter. Yes, yeah. I mean, too, that that felt very progressive or countercultural to be like, well, there are other. I mean, this is a Christmas episode, but there's more than just Christmas, you know. So after the act break, Jim questions these elves that are left behind. They're playing cards. And Jim accuses them of just letting Santa disappear. But they all say, you know, like, we keep our eyes on our work. Because if we slack off, you know, what happens? And it's, uh, Ficky pudding goes somewhere. Yeah. At the end of this episode, the, they make Santa too nice like this. There's not a.

consistency to Santa they can make him crueller throughout but I like how bad he treats the elves I'd like to see the elves unhappy with Santa's return I also like their line that they're like we just say we're elves to pick up chicks and then the way the way Dan says

does it work like that's funny even a little is what the elf says it's such a clever clever little bit there and that yeah the elves are just like A-holes I wonder if that was a sensor note to like have the elves say they're not really elves in case kids at home are heartbroken that the

L's are like these poker playing jerks who get treated horribly all the time. They've all been tortured. Yeah. And so from this scene, we go to the personifications of abstract concepts club. And you and I just watched Citizen Kane. So zooming into the top of a skylight of a building

and then fading into the scene below. That was a Citizen Kane thing. Oh my God. That's a Susan Alexander introduction. They do that twice in that movie. So it's been in my brain. I'm like, did you just steal a shot from Citizen Kane? And I think they did, which is fine.

I think so. Yeah. And the name personification of abstract concept club, that is a very hitchhiker's guide joke too, yeah. And I like that. I mean, to me, I had only started watching Monty Python at the time. So I think I knew the flavor of comedy, but I didn't know it was like a full-on just, you know,

Americanization of that very dry British wit about things. For sure. And in this next clip, it's important to point out that at the table next to Jim and the Gang, there's the Easter Bunny, Death, Cupid. and the Tooth Fairy. Santa, sure, I've seen Santa. In every stinking shopping mall, and every stinking street corner,

at the end of every stinking Christmas parade. To go, boy. I even saw a stinking cartoon about him. Oh, man, I hope they didn't do that same old worn-out story where Santa gets kidnapped and... Do I detect a note of jealousy? Hey, I worked just as hard as that overgrown pixel. But do I get all the media attention?

No! But didn't I see you in some Swedish movie? Oh, Swedish! Big Wow! And was I played by Buryolives? I don't think so. Begging your pardon there, Jim. I don't mind the vicious mauling, but you spilled my milk. Have you asked me, Santa Gottma was coming to him.

We have like two drunk characters in the scene. Yeah, there's not, I don't think there's even the usual trick they have of like a cart next to them that says eggnog or whatever. To make it clear, this is not alcohol. Or like signs for root beer in the background. Like, uh, Rudolph is drinking a yellowish liquid out of a pint class. He is drunk. Like, yeah.

I think death was a little lit too. Oh, for sure. Yeah. His complaining is so great. I love that, like, there have been other sketches about, you know, the Easter Bunny or whatever, jealous of Santa Claus. But the idea that death itself is like, I'm not as popular as Santa Claus. Like, that's so funny. And to get in a seventh seal joke, too, is something else.

That's pretty classy. I think maybe as a youngster, I could get it of just that I knew it was a reference to Bill and Ted's bogus journey at the very least. And Animaniacs did an episode with that guy. Oh, yeah. That's right. But the noise you heard in the background is like after Jim elbows Peter to shut up about the premise of the plot, Peter flies off screen and then he transforms into the monster. We don't see it. And that's why he jumps back on as the monster.

Worst level in that entire series is the Peter Puppy level. I defy you to finish that level. It sucks. I mean, that underwater part of the little glass bowl, like that, the tension of that one is horrible too. But yes, Peter Puppie, it's one of the most aggressive, like, escort things you'll ever do in a game of that era. And it's just no fun. It makes me mad. It's so horrible annoying.

And it really feels like both of those levels are just, we can't let you beat this on a rental. Like, we got to make this too hard for you. So they talk to Rudolph. He's incredibly drunk, a nice Charlie Adler drunk voice. And basically, he points out the true lesson of the famous stop motion Rudolph and the famous stop motion. Rudolph and the famous song and everything in that. Santa thinks you're a freak until he needs your disability to help him. And then you're his pal for one night.

I love that. Yeah, it was so new a thought at the time to be like, actually, like now it's so boring. I mean, yeah, Data Gold has the best bit about that, about that entire special. I don't call that a penis. I call it a freak maker. No, yeah. But now seeing, I think I saw like somebody did an article like this year of, they ever watch the Rudolph special is actually kind of bad or it teaches the wrong lesson it just

feels so old to me now i feel like i've been talking about for three decades but i also love the term a hard reindeer is going to fall that's funny and also any joke that gets to mock rush limbaugh on a kid's cartoon you teach the right lesson uh yeah rudolph tells jim santa was kidnapped by an insect with a butt the size of a macy's balloon and uh jim goes rush limbaugh uh good joke good joke uh so yes They head off to Insectica, and the queen is trying to brainwash all the good out of Santa. So it's like basically a brainwashing montage where he's strapped down sort of like clockwork orange style. Surrounded by swirling lights. His cacophony of sound is around him with all of these voices speaking of horrible Christmas moments.

Like a kid talking about getting socks and underwear, a wife saying, honey, the tree's on fire. And a dad complaining about not being able to find Tab C, which was the thing that Santa wanted out of the fashion model beach house. They're making Santa see the pain he causes on Christmas. The tingles of Christmas tension, one would say. Oh, I love that short. And they do, like, CIA tactics of driving someone crazy, too. The, that they reveal that he is having a hard metal rock music blasted at him in a room is insane. It's a great, like, ACDC sound alike by Jim Cummings, too.

Yes, yeah, that's great. And then they were able to get away. first they are able to get away with a horrible Santa who wants to drive parents crazy and teaches and treats elves like property and now they are also letting them do a like three minutes of torture of Santa Claus on screen. We don't do as many torture jokes anymore on kids cartoons ever since we found out we do it ourselves. Yeah, you could make torture jokes when it's like, well, we're talking about how people

in other countries do torture or like, hey, you were at 1984. this is a parody of like that British thing about torture. But now after, you know, 9-11 and we just have to accept like, well, yeah, we just do it. We torture more people than anybody. The kids don't need to know. Yeah. But, yes, in this next scene. So there's like three jokes about this.

The third one is basically old-fashioned hypnosis. She's trying to get Santa to say, I am an evil death-dealing doom machine. But, again, Santa resists, but she accidentally hypnotizes the archbug who zaps her and she zaps him back. Yeah. Now, he says, you could just snap your fingers. Where's the fun in that? And now it's time for drastic measures. So the final torture has the queen implanting a microchip into Santa Claus to make him her elderly overweight slave.

And is this- Who couldn't use one of those? Exactly. I love that. And is a wrath of con thing? The thing in the air? It is. You're right. By putting it in specifically in the ear, it is totally a rat the con thing.

Which, again, definitely fits the generation of comedy here. Though, yeah, you know what? There is a joke about Batman's that is strange. to me. It shows, I guess, what public opinion was in 96. Because, oh, let's hear it. I have the clip. Okay. Now I must test him to see if he's truly evil.

Repeat after me. Good is bad. Bad is good. Good is bad. Bad is good. Val Kilmer was okay, but for my money, nobody fills a pair of tights like Adam West. Val Kilmer was okay, but for my money,

nobody fills a pair of tights like Adam West. Yes, he is truly evil. Now we'll visit every home on Earth, just as Santa does every year. But instead of gifts, he'll bring mind control microchips. All the good little girls and boys of Earth

will be my mindless slaves. Okay, Pilgrim, saddle up! Yeah, what's your Batman opinion, Henry? So I think this reflects an interesting time for Batman movies, which was, so they treated as evil. The evil choice is saying that Adam West would be better than Val Kilmer. So I think this reflects a weird time in Batman fandom where if you were a hardcore Batman fan, you wanted him dark and cool and not for little kids.

You didn't, even though the Adam West Batman show is like the perfect comment. and one of the funniest, like, camp things that has ever existed, the idea that Adam West Batman made Batman less cool. So if you welcomed him as like, if you say, oh, Adam West is actually the best Batman, you are demeaning the coolness of Batman by saying Adam West is the best one. And public opinion has shifted so much on that now. It's crazy to think they would be a joke about how the evil choice would be preferring

Adam West of Al Kilmer, like it would be. completely be inverted like a year later. I think so. I think now the evil Batman choice is Ben Affleck. Did anyone actually like him as Batman? Uh, you know, I think I've, I've heard some contrarians who like him, but I mean, he is, as a Batman goes, uh, he is the most like, um, like Elon Musk a Batman is, I suppose, which is some people like that. I don't. But yeah, he's, he's basically like, this is a bad, uh, Ben Affleck is a Batman who drinks and has casual sex, and then he punishes himself by doing CrossFit. So after she says saddle up, that's when Jim, Peter, and the princess blast the hole through

the wall. Her sin and napping days are over, or are they? Because she takes a hostage, the archbug. And I like how Peter says, that's a bad guy. So Jim just shoots the hostage. So classic speed protocol, shoot the hostage. That's so hilarious, hell. I was thinking, like, what other shows would get away with a shoot the good guy shoots

the hostage, Joe? But luckily, like, we've seen him get blasted before in this episode. So we know, like, he just turns into, like, a Looney Tune Blub, Black Blob. But, man, yeah, I, like, even thinking about it now, the rules that are on all these shows, Jim got to pull the trigger on his laser gun and hit someone and blast them. Like, you never get to do that, even in the comedy ones. This is 1130 territory. Things get weird before noon.

So, yes, after shooting the hostage, the Queen crushes them with her giant butts, thanks to her aerobics. That has to be on a fetish website, too. Oh, yeah. Look for the giant slug butt wiki. I'm sure it's on there. Why in the crushing part, too? Oh, for sure, for sure. So the queen escorts Sando away, and Jim says he can kiss his pony goodbye.

And there's a very strange joke where Peter is still crushing. He goes, never kiss a pony. Yeah, that's a good. I like that. Does he have a history? Like, it went bad for him when he kissed the pony? You know, I don't think he's kissed. I don't recall other jokes where he kissed a pony.

Or he's just like, Jim, that's gross. Don't kiss a pony. Also, this was the bit where it really sounded to me, thanks to the voice effect they were doing on Santa. It sounds like he says fuckers instead of suckers to me. The sound mix on this show is very noisy to the point where I started watching it with headphones halfway through because there's just so much noise happening. Yeah, I did this all with headphones.

Also, in general, the acting, I think, is really good because it does feel like everybody's together. I think it was the full cast. And after this, the queen leaves with Santa and leaves Jim and the gang behind. She pulls this lever and all these doors slide up and these arm bugs come out. Also, I don't think those are in the games either, these guys. No, they're not even toys either. In fact, they're just very generic looking, just like Stormtrooper guys. It looks like you just buy a bucket of those or something.

Their target practice for Jim pretty much. So Act 3 begins, and this is when they take out all of these bugs. It's the night before Christmas, and all through insectica, not a creature is stirring. Unless you count the zerps who are about to blast our heroes into a cloud of free-floating subatomic particles. Not if I have anything to say about it. Nicely done, my detached retina of whoopey. My sister used to pull that on me every year right after saying happy birthday. So there's a handy lever next to the princess where she pulls in a giant booby-trap birthday cake rises out of the ground.

We're going to pull out of the ass moment there to get them out of this thing. I guess in a slapstick show anything goes. Yeah. But it's funny they have their cake and eat it too of just like, oh man, your heroes are in danger. Don't change the channel. And then when it comes back like, come on, nothing's wrong. And I left in a bit of the narrator so people could hear the nice, the nice, cleast style stylings of Jeff Bennett. But it's really just pulling it out of their butt there, that exploding cake bin.

And also that at least, at least Earthworm Jim gets to say another one of his always original compliments that sounds horrible to her. That's a real mad libs. I mean, I guess my edible fruitcake of something was funny, but that's my detached retina of whoopee. Yes, yeah, it doesn't even fit with the thing that just happened. But same with like the level of creativeness of him always saying like your your festeringness, your wretchedness, like always, always new gross ways to describe someone. I do like the very tropey conceit of the villain who their assistant is always like, yes, your awfulness. Oh yes. Yes, your vileness.

I don't think that guy's in the game either. No, he's not. They need to make him out. I mean, again, it's a weird design too for that guy. Queen's luck for a bud is just, she's not really a character in the first game anyway. She's a stage you run on and then you see her head at the end of it. Isn't the entire stage her butt? Yes, the entire stage is her butt.

Yeah, yeah. And then, and I mean, really, it's just, it's the queen alien is what it is. So now Santa and the queen are breaking into their first house and it'll be their only house because there's not a lot of time left. Yes. And the queen is obviously having problems getting down the chimney with her giant butt. She eventually does and crushes Santa. There's an odd line where she says, now I know how a heavy Hungarian dinner feels, which all right, that's a, that's a, that's a Interesting. I don't know what that means.

I guess it's like how you feel really full after eating it. I've never had a Hungarian dinner. Yeah. That, you talk about Madlibs, that feels like, how would you, what's a funny descriptor for a heavy dinner? Hungarian? Sure, sure. Hungarian's a funny adjective. Yeah.

So, Santa pulls out his list. Emmett and Susie have been good, although Susie did have that armed robbery conviction, which Holy hell. Pretty cool. Susie seems pretty rad. Yeah. The queen reminds Santa, they're not there to deliver toys. they're there to distribute their microchips because it's part of their world domination

plan to turn everybody evil or something, I don't know, just to serve the queen. Yeah, and then she eats the entire plate and glass of cookies, and what's disgusting to her is raisins. You know what? They work in oatmeal cookies. I am pro. They're the star of the show. I like raisins in cookies. Like, okay, raisins in a chocolate cookie, maybe I like that less.

And of course, especially at X-Miss time, I prefer a chocolate chip cookie and then a class. classic frosted sugar cookie. Yes. Before I would have anything with raisins in it, sure. But when I grew up, I just ate so many, like, warm boxes of raisins where they're all just like clumped together where I only eat raisins now in cookie form. When I see the raisin girl on those red boxes, I think of a sweaty ball of raisins. Disgusting.

You have to, like, dump out at lunchtime. And yet that was the healthiest thing in my lunches probably. Oh, for sure. Yeah. I mean, certainly not my juice box from Kool-Aid. That was on the low end. Not my bag of chips, my juice box, or my, like, peanut butter and jelly sandwich, which is just cake. Yeah, it's like that your white bread is essentially a twinkie.

So what happens next is, yeah, she's disgusted by the raisins. She zaps the tree and they go off into the house and find the kids. And they first break into the wrong room, the mom's room. And there's a funny joke where the mom freaks out. And the very Jewish-sounding father says, if you're going to be this upset, you shouldn't watch the news. Which I agree. Just a joke about the state of the world in 1996. Who can imagine?

I still feel the rare, I'm feeling a little, a little bummed. I can't visit my mom in this Xmas time. But when I would, the one thing I would think is like, you really shouldn't watch the news before bed. The local news is only meant to terrorize people your age. That's how it keeps you watching. Yeah, it's bad. Don't watch local news people. So they eventually find the children's room, but Peter, the princess, and Jim are waiting in there for them.

Well, that's just perfect. Jim, now? Now, Queenie, your Yuletide reign of terror is at an end. Nah-oh. Sarnet! Come in to assist! Tear me off a piece of that action, Princess! You and me were boy, no holds barred.

Oh, it's no use. I can't fight Santa, the symbol of all that's good, the spirit of Christmas. Prepare for the kissing ball of utter destruction! Oh, Santa, Santa. Remember Christmas? It's a time of fruitcakes, an undercooked turkey, of hazardous electric lights and TV specials featuring celebrities who should never sing in public. A time when children's head should be filled with visions of sugar plums.

Not microchips! Poor Dan. He's having to scream so much there. His big speeches are great, though. I love it. And, you know, we talked when we did the Animaniacs 2020 thing, we mentioned how, like,

Pinky doesn't reference as many esoteric TV shows. And that is, I feel that in this moment, too, of like, he's saying, aren't we annoyed by this thing that's always on TV? And specifically the idea of, like, the celebrity Christmas special, where they're singing and it's like but you can't sing you're not I think specifically

this is about Kathy Lee Gifford oh really oh yeah she did have those right at this time well like a year no 96 is the same year South Park came out they did a whole episode about trying to kill her and that she's a bad singer I forgot that that is what that is based on yeah and then

and also yeah it was one of the SNL TV Funhouse Christmas is watching her singing on TV and it makes Jesus sad Like it's I she's a she's a five singer she doesn't sing anymore everybody we stared her away There's worse people to be mad at the Kathy Lee Gifford or I think she still goes by that name I believe her and the and the other guy aren't together anymore and he's also dead so

Oh well that that divorces them for sure boy divorce for good I thought I knew everything about Christmas I have never heard of a kissing ball before No me neither and it's a real thing What the hell it's like this thing you hang up and I think it's like a bundle of like fur tree branches or whatever wreath is made out of and like apparently the mistletoe could hang from that oh okay yeah we must have all the times i've seen mistletoe it must be attached to a kissing ball but i never think i just i have this conversation about like what is a traffic light is it also the thing that hold the pole that holds it up or is that a different thing i guess i always figured mistletoe is the entire

package not the ball that is attached to that missal just the kissing ball and believe me i was afraid to Google kissing ball, but all clean. It came out clean. That's good. Very good. So, yeah, the narrator points out at this point that Santa is so touched by Jim speech that the microchip in his brain burns out. I think it's a little bit of a grinch thing, but they don't do like the magnification

of inside the body where they show you. I think they should have done that at least. Yeah, I guess, I guess budget wise, that's another thing. They're like, we can save a lot of money if we don't have to draw the inside of his brain. Oh, by the way, the kissing ball is like the orb from phantasm. Yes, yeah. It totally is a phantasm, right? reference yeah it's even controlled by an old man though uh not as skinny so uh jim tells santa

is going to pull his chestnuts out of the fire good dirty joke uh he steps on the evil kissing ball and uh santa says if christmas is in danger i shall save it and jim rightfully points out he's a little old and fat that's good yes kind of reminds me that eke the cat joke like really aren't you kind of fat so in our last clip of this episode santa transforms and saves the day you may know me as But in my younger days, I was... Whoa! Oh, my goodness! North God of judgment!

Let the naughty tremble before my awesome fight! Yo-hoo! Jesus! Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and he kicked butt! Oh, Jim, they're beautiful! Antenna warmers. I knit them myself. How about you, Fuzz, buddy? Like your gift?

Great. An automatic haggis maker. Yeah, yeah. Just add the heart, lungs, liver, and stomach of a sheep, and rest, though. Ah, don't forget your present, Jim! Oh, yeah! Gosh, I wonder what it could be! Thanks for saving Christmas. Don't feed the pony rocks like you did with a kitten. Ask pause.

This is the bestest Christmas ever. So he's not crushed by a cow. The fruit cake falls on him and a cow pops out of it. Yeah. It completes the cycle of cow crushing. I like the one-ton marker on it too. Boy, there's a lot in there. Like one, they get away with.

Clearly, from the sound of it, Santa chops her to pieces. I was kind of shocked by that. We don't see it, but he's got an axe. And then the sounds that everyone heard on this podcast were of something being chopped apart, a big, wet thing being chopped. Was it her torso? It was. It was her torso. She's all torso.

Yeah, no. So she got hacked to pieces by Santa who turns out that he's like a Taitonic God. And then on top of that, the joke that seemingly Earthworm Jim killed. a cat through starving it by feeding it rocks. That's an extra dark joke there. And the pony is wrapped so like the head of the pony sticking out of the paper. That's clearly a pony.

At least it can breathe but the gym is still surprised when he opens it. I like he much like Homer Simpson he gets stupider every episode I think and until this last joke I forgot that Haggis was a running gag on the show. Yes boy did the Haggis industry recover from the

brutal beating it got in the 90s on all these shows? You know I watched a recent duck tails and haggis came up on it too but they treat it as like well scrooge likes it everyone else is still pretty disgusted by it if the rennist snippy spin-off character haggis macagas were to i've had his own show it would have been over for haggis oh god yeah the haggis the haggis council could have gotten back it tastes better than it sounds i i'm sure it is no more disgusting than what is in a hot dog exactly but uh the it is i definitely every time i here hagg as I think of the exact description

Earthworm Jim always said for it which is what he says here and yeah that is the final moment of the final episode of Earthworm Jim again that was like it's a cow bursting out of a giant fruit cake saying moo and again our generation was not cursed by these fruit cakes I don't even know what they taste like maybe they're good

maybe they just were prepared badly I don't know my mom likes making fruit cake and she jokes that it's the people don't like it but I definitely know from her she makes a very good fruit cake, and I think a part of it is, you know, soaking in rum. It needs to be, or some liqueur. As a vehicle for rum, I can see that working.

That's good. And also, it's just like, I think we put butter on it and stuff, too. Just to soften it a little bit more. But I'm a pro-fruitcake guy. I mean, I don't make it. Maybe I'll make it myself this year. I asked my mom for her fruitcake recipe. I really think the 21st century was the death of the fruitcake joke.

Yeah, yeah. Nobody, I mean, people just don't eat them. Like, there's, I guess it's also like, that's the death of monocal. again like nobody it's not that everyone makes fruitcakes anymore occasionally i'll see one like in a grocery store and think like oh yeah all those jokes all those jokes i guess the cliche joke has been replaced by pumpkin spice jokes oh you're totally right about that every if you replace every joke about a pumpkin spiced something during this season of the year it's it's just the fruitcake joke of today it was just updated but uh any final thoughts on the series henry this was the final episode and uh i liked it yeah i

liked it too. There's much smarter jokery in it than I thought funny and a great voice cast. I mean, as a cartoon that is as a vehicle for animation, there's not a lot of like good animation in it but it doesn't falter

as much. Maybe it even would be more entertaining to watch if it looked as crappy as some episodes of like Sonic or Street Sharks did. But I think it upholds, the animation is good enough to uphold funny writing that gets, they got away with a lot and I also appreciate that.

And plus they didn't hire a bunch of cheapo Vancouver voice actors. They went with the best in Los Angeles, baby. Yeah, I don't think it's, I would just like put it on to watch sincerely. It's not that good. But I was honestly surprised because I thought I was going to be like, oh, you know what? It was just kind of, it was kind of cheeky. It was kind of satirical, but it wasn't that good. But I was finding myself generally surprised by this episode and what I saw on it.

And it couldn't have lasted any longer. There was no more products to sell. it got everything it needed to get out of those characters but you know it was an interesting way to sell toys and like the smartest way to do it and it wasn't the you know keeping with the style and tone of the game as well yeah yeah and I mean is

if you're going to emulate anything Monty Python and also Rocky and Bullwinkle yeah if you're going to emulate anything steal from the best yeah so I think Langdale especially he really pulled this off well makes me want to check out his other stuff he's done you know I never watch that Dave

the Barbarian show I've heard good things I guess actually Santa Claus is like Dave the Barbarian's dad there in that sequence if you really think about it. Santa Claus origins are happening. But yes, thank you for listening to another Retronauts. And thank you for listening to our 10th holiday special. I love doing these so much fun every year. Since this is a Patreon episode, I'm not going to do any plugs for Retronauts. It means if you're listening to this, it means you're giving to the show.

We appreciate that. So thank you very much, especially throughout this difficult year. I know it's been hard for everybody. So we definitely appreciate your support right now. We hope that we're entertaining you in this rough, rough time. But Henry, I'm also involved in this. but what is going on with you in your life and the many podcasts we do together?

Man, so many podcasts. I think it's at peak it's four weeks sometimes on the Talking Simpsons Network. You should follow me on Twitter at H-E-N-E-R-Y-G. And that's how you'll stay informed when I do my weekly podcast with Bob. Talking Simpsons and what a cartoon. Talking Simpsons is our chronological

and cromulent exploration of that series where we go in order right now. We're just finishing up season 11 and we're about to start our combo year of doing season two again and season 12 for the first time if you're in the holiday spirit I definitely suggest listening to the great one we did last year about the 30th anniversary of the first simpsons christmas special that was a ton of fun and of course if you're a gamer who loves the simpsons one go back in our catalog and listen to our one for march be not proud i think you really enjoy that and our one cartoon show if you like me and bob going through the history and a single episode of one tv series

why that's what we do every week on the What a Cartoon podcast, where you've covered so many great ones, including if you like this toy talk, I think you'll also like the one we did on G.I. Joe with Retronaut's co-host, Jeremy Parrish, as our guest on that too. You can find it on every place you find free podcasts. But if you want all of our exclusives and to hear stuff early, you got to sign up at patreon.com slash Talking Simpsons, which supports me and Bob doing that full time, baby. Well, honey, it's all the time we have today. Please leave and take all of your particles with you. There's too many in this room right now. All right. I'll blow you a kiss. A virtual hug. Behind the plexiglass, please.

Well, there you have it, our 10th holiday special. Steve, come out here, would you? This room has been filling up with foreign particles for an hour now, so let's just turn that cleansing gas up to its highest setting. And maybe a little move. music to wrap things up. Right away, master. You know, folks, it's been a rough year, and hopefully the least we could do for you is

provide some small bit of relief, or at least a distraction from all of the things. You know, making these podcasts has definitely been a nice distraction for us, so thanks again to all of you for giving us the chance to do retronauts for another calendar year. And you know, holidays are nothing without tradition, so this year, I've decided to start a new one. I've decided that at the end of every gathering in the holiday cabin, I'm going to light a candle to commemorate another year of remembering things about stuff. And in memory of all the unreleased retro games that can't be with us today,

games like BioForce Ape, Starcraft Ghost, and of course, Gallagher's Gallery. Now, all we have to do is light it, and I have a fresh box of matches right here. Not that time, once more, must have gotten a little damp. Not that time, once more, these things never light on the first truck. To be continued. To be continued. Have a funky, funky Christmas. Denny, are you ready?

Ready to get the last steady. You know, and Joey Jones. Betty Jordan and John. Yeah. Come on. Got a fucking funky person on. Thank you.