Retronauts - Retronauts Micro 64: Kabuki Quantum Fighter

Episode Date: June 30, 2017

Jeremy, Benj, and Chris convene again to discuss that all-time classic... no, wait. To discuss weirdo niche NES action game Kabuki Quantum Fighter. Aimless digressions, collective confusion, and unflattering Batman comparisons abound!

This Week in Retronauts, oh boy. Get it. That was like a quantum leap thing. We got it. That was like a quantum leap thing. Yeah. That's good. Kibuki Quantum Wave would be a great game. Kibbuky Quantum Leap, yeah. So, you know, like theorizing one could leap within his own lifetime.

Colonel Scott Connor, O'Connor, steps into the Kabuki Quantum Accelerator. It was Sam Beckett in the TV show. Yeah, I know. But, yeah, Scott O'Connor, yeah. I don't know. Anyway, we're already off to a bad start. Hi, everyone. It's Jerry Carrey.

Scott Bacula. There's a connection. Count Bacula. Count Bacula. Yeah. Count Jocula. Yes I really want to play a conventional baccula

Me too Demon Castle Scott Macula Would be amazing Unfortunately that's not the game we're talking about Hi everyone, it's Jeremy Parrish With Benj Edwards and Chris Sims Following up on our disastrous Metroidsvania episode

For probably a disastrous Kabuki Quantum Fighter episode That's right, Kabuki Quantum Fighter The Ines game That makes no damn sense whatsoever No, and that's what's great about it. I do like how nonsensical this

game is. So this episode... Several months ago, Chris said we could do an entire episode about this was my suggestion. I took him seriously. I said, all right, Chris Sims. We can make an episode about Kabuki Quantum Fighter. And now here we are. It's a micro episode. So it's only going to be like 20 minutes

long. But this is going to strain your patience and tolerance. Just do you watch? That's right. That's our promise to you. The retronauts promise. You're going to hate this episode. specifically meundies, which are simply the softest, most comfortable underwear you'll ever wear. Once you try them, you won't want to wear anything else unless you're naked or in your swimsuit. For every other second of your life, there's meandies.

Every pair of meandies is sustainably sourced and made from micromodal of fabric that's three times softer than cotton. If you're used to buying packs of uncomfortable, boring underwear that only come in white, gray, black, or tan, meandies will change everything. undies comes in all kinds of colors and patterns, and they release a new limited edition pattern every month that always sells out. And this month's special pattern is a rainbow confetti print called Celebrate. So try MeUndies today. Go get the Celebrate pattern before they're all gone at meundies.com slash games, and you'll save 20% off your first pair. That's M-E-U-N-D-I-E-S.com slash games. You'll have to feel for yourself to see why meundies has sold over 5 million

pairs to date. And if you don't love your first pair of meundies, they're free. Get 20% off your first pair plus free shipping at meundies.com slash games right now. That's meundies.com slash games. Meundies.com slash games. So I think what I find most appealing about Kabuki Quantum Fighter is the same thing that I find appealing about Golden Age comics, in that we have this sense of the storytelling that's possible in games now that, you know, games can have these elaborate stories and multiple characters, and you look at something like Skyrim or you look at something like Fallout, and there's all these elaborate and interweaving stories. But there was a time, and it's when I was a kid, and so it's when my idea of what

video games are, like, really crystallized, where you got the stories of games predominantly from Nintendo Power, and there was this sense that nothing really had to make sense, and And no game that I can think of really typifies that as much as Kabuki Quantum Fighter. And that's coming from, you know, what was at the time a genre and particularly a console that was defined by the story of a plumber who was fighting mushrooms to save a princess from a fire-breathing turtle. Well, now you are an army colonel using your virtual hair to kill computer viruses because you're a kabuki dancer in cyberspace. Your 2035, is that what it was? It's something like that, 2038, I don't know. It's in the near future.

It's a future where you can be a full colonel in the military at the age of 25, which is what is established in the opening cutscene. That's when they have that accelerating download knowledge into your brain stuff. Well, you know, yeah, that's right. I know Kung Fu. This was, keep in mind, a product designed for children and the idea of a 25-year-old is like for kids. Okay. So when, okay, I was born in 1975. I remember in like third grade. So that would be 1983-ish. Our teacher assigned us a class project. Draw what you're going to look like in the year 2000. Everyone draw themselves as like old people. I was like, I'm going to be 25 years old in 2000. Whiff. So I drew myself as like an adult. But everyone else was like, that's so far away. I'm going to be an old person. So, yeah, the idea of a 25-year-old colonel, sure, why not? You didn't draw yourself as a kabuki actor who was battling computer viruses with your weaponized air?

But had I known, had I but known, I might have been a kabuki dancer in cyberspace. This is before the whole mind uploading Ray Kurzweil stuff was popular. You know, this game invented that. Well, you know, this was after William Gibson, you know, wrote like... Neroomancer and, yeah, some of the bridge trilogy. books. So it wasn't like a totally out there idea, but definitely

one of the first video games to tackle that concept. The introduction says something about he changes his mind to binary, so it can flow freely through computer circuits. I would personally change my mind to hexadecimal. It seems a lot more versatile. Yeah. So the purpose of this game is that there is a sentient computer virus

that has taken over the world's arsenal of nuclear missiles. And the only way that you can fight it is to go inside the computer where the files are. Isn't that what's going on right now in America? I don't think so. There's certainly no kabuki dancing happening in our White House.

Okay. Sorry to interview. So the idea is that Colonel Scott O'Connor, 25 years old, military veteran of the future computer virus wars, jacks into the matrix, digitizes himself. And when he appears, much to his own surprise, he is a digital futuristic kabuki dancer. Yeah. And this was a concept that was introduced to me. And I brought it with me in Nintendo Power When the game wasn't called Kabuki Quantum Fighter

It was just called Quantum Fighter I feel like it probably would have fared better Had it just used that name Like how many kids in America knew what Kabuki was The Art of Japanese Theater I definitely feel like this game Or probably this article in Nintendo Power Introduced it to them

Because it has like By the way In the like the 90s early 90s or late 80s, when you want to know what Kabuki was, what did you do? You didn't have the internet. Yeah, you ask your mom or what? You look in a dictionary or go to a library

or something. That's how quaint this was. I just busted out Nintendo Power. Yeah, you were futuristic and you logged into the whole Earth electric link. Yeah, I did that a few times. I didn't have a computer to do that with the site. If you had Nintendo Power, you'd know that Kabuki is a traditional dramatic art from Japan.

It's unique to Eastern culture. A Western equivalent might be ballet or opera. The actors in a Kabuki Dron, but wear lavish costumes and some have huge mains of colored hair. Whether such hair would make a good weapon is uncertain, but can you imagine a game starring a quantum fighting ballet dancer? There's doubt in the Nintendo Power editor's minds already

Yeah, like even Nintendo Power's editors, this was like, you know, the provda of video games. It was all propaganda. Like, they still said, you know, guys, this is pretty goofy. Yeah, on the opening page, Nintendo Power, which has

seen it all, just calls out the game for using your hair as a weapon and says, yes, you read correctly, the Kabuki Hero's hair, a weapon like no other in video games, is only the beginning of the bizarre things you'll find in Quantum Fighter. How does Nintendo Power stand on the Shantay games, since you also use your hair there? I bet they're more okay with that. I think that's a, it's a gendered kind of thing.

They're like, oh yeah, girl, yeah, she'll hit stuff with their hair. But a dude, that's so weird. Well, it's... Plus her hair's purple as opposed to red. Purple's so much deadlier. I do think this game is not like... As far as I know, Kabuki Quantum Fighter was not like a huge success. It's not super obscure though, either.

And I feel like the game or this Nintendo Power article, if not, did not propel it to cultural relevance, but definitely propelled it to a certain... Awareness of your mind. A certain group of people who were part of that Nintendo Power. subscription movement in the in the every boy in America was it a movement I considered a movement I consider it a revolution there's a

there's a super Mario brothers three commercial where everybody's like Mario Mario and it zooms out to the whole world couple key yeah it was a movement I guess demographic would probably be the better way to put it but like we just weren't connected yet back then I guess we were all alone isolated

weeping by ourselves because we were nerds and no one wanted to hang out with us but every time like I see anything where hair is used as a weapon. Like the Shantay games, like those villains in the first stage of Maximum Carnage for Super Nias. Like, it always, I'm always like, Kabuki Quantum Fighter. That's what, that's what that's from.

So it's worth mentioning a few things about this game. One, it was developed, co-developed by Human Entertainment and Hal America, or Hal Entertainment, Hal Laboratory. Hal, of course, gave us other interesting concepts like Eggerland, aka... Adventures of Lolo where a little round guy solves mazes from by using hair by using no but he does use emerald framers to block the vision beams of medusas they have snake hair so that's good connection and also a little round pink guy who eats everything in sight and including tomatoes with emz on them could be carbby actually carbby carby he's all carbs one with the human

feet. Oh, the worst mod. Oh, God. Don't bring that up here. Wait, is there a version of Kirby who has human? It's really disturbing.

It's just a meme thing with Kirby with human feet. With his shoes off. You know, he's got a big of it. God, I didn't even think of them as shoes. Someday, Nintendo's going to make that canon. It's going to be in a fire emblem game.

It's going to be one of your marriage options. Kirby with feet. Kirby's feet? Yes. That's, everyone is someone's finish. Quantum feet. Feeder.

Quantum Feeder. The thing I like about the way this game is presented is that Kabuki is something that we're not meant to know about. Like, as kids in America reading Nintendo Power. Quantum fighting, we're all on the same page. Like, I know exactly what quantum fighting is. It's about fighting Quanta, right? Yeah, sure. Fighting Qantas Airlines.

Is the universe quantized, though? I don't know. That's not a question we're going to solve in this game. Particles or continuum. So this game is actually based on a movie in Japan. The Japanese version, I can't remember the name of it, but it's based on a film called Zapingu, which does have some, like, a kabuki element, but it doesn't have like a dude turning into a digital kabuki fighter, and he definitely does not kill dudes with his hair.

Does anybody know the story of the Japanese version of this game? Did they just invent that digital dude turning into? a guy turned into a digital version So it's like a sequel to the movie You play as like the grandson of the movies character And it does take place in the future And you're being digitized But the thing is like

This is a really unusual case Of a game becoming more Japanese In the American version The character portraits in the Japanese version of the game Are all digitized stills of the film actor But they turned it into like super cutesy anime looking like not photorealistic but instead like cute super deformed anime character models which you'd expect it to go the other way like oh take out the anime and make it photo realistic in

America but no that's not how it happened we need us a retronaut screening of this film now okay yeah let's uh let's all get together sometime and uh we'll have like a theater and then we'll play hyankyo alien yeah well we'll watch it in the park and then i'll dig holes in the park people will fall into yeah let's just do that in my backyard One thing that I think is really fun is that you are presented with this guy who, for some reason, when he becomes digitized, it gives him the body of a kabuki actor, a weaponized body of a kabuki actor. And the sort of in-canon reason for that is that his grandfather is, was a kabuki actor. He had like some Japanese heritage. Yeah, Grandpa O'Connor.

It's those strong Japanese genes coming forward. Yeah. I really, I really do like the idea that, uh, Scott O'Connor seems like the name they would give to Kabuki Quantum Fighter in the American Netflix version. That's all. I thought that was a solid joke.

Apparently not. It's a good game. Yeah, it is. What is your... What is your respective histories with the game? Like, it's a game that I've been aware of for a long time, but had never played beyond the first stage until yesterday when I streamed it live

and discovered, wow, this game is like testicle punching hard. Yeah. This was one of the games that I... I became obsessed with in Nintendo Power because, you know, Nintendo Power would have those lavish, like, box art recreations and cool designs. And I loved the idea of taking this thing. It was right around the age where I was, you know, getting into anime and manga and kind of becoming obsessed with, like, the idea of Japanese culture as a thing that I was unfamiliar with, you know, recognizing that other countries had culture that I was unfamiliar with.

And so blending that with this really weird sci-fi premise And what I thought were like Pretty interesting representations of what it would be like To go into a virtual world I was kind of obsessed with it from that This really occurred to you back then? Yeah Really?

Yeah. What it was like to go into virtual world Yeah, because you're going inside the computer. That's so cool. That's really amazing. I had a lot of time to think about the things I read a Nintendo power. It's actually cool. I'm not making fun of you.

I mean, there's just something neat. I think that's neat that the story resonated with you like that. Yeah. It makes sense because of your comics background. I don't know. Just thinking about stories so deeply and stuff. Yeah, I mean, this ties into my comics background in that there is an episode of Inthman, the Ultimate Ninja, where John Doe and I think Navakovna?

Novicova, yeah. Larry Hamma's own. They get digitized and it's like a cross between. Super Mario Brothers and Ninja Gaiden. They're, like, jumping around on platforms and digital ninjas are coming after them. So, like, this kind of thing was kind of in the cultural zeitguise. That happened, oh, man, that must have been, like, around the same time as this game came out. This was 1990.

I think that comic was, like, 1990 through 92. Yeah, it's early 90s, maybe, like, 89, but I think you're, I think you're right. Yeah. When did Ninja Gaiden, Gaiden, come out? Japan, 88, America, 89. Yeah. My first encounter with this game was, I think I bought it used at Funco Land around 99 or something like that. When I was collecting as many NES cartridges as I could.

And I was like, oh, it looks like a Ninja Gaden clone with hair. It really is very much cut from the same cloth as Ninja Giden as Batman by Sunsoft. It felt like a Sunsoft game, production values-wise. It looks a lot like Batman. And in fact, there's a lot of enemies that are like... I think we did a podcast about Batman. We did, we mentioned. I read a site where we mentioned.

I read a site where someone described it as essentially being a ROM hack of Batman. And I think that's not being charitable enough to Kabuki Quantum Fighter. No, I mean, Batman, you can, like, jump off the wall. But seriously, yesterday, when I started to play the stream, like, my instinct was to try to do the triangle jump off the wall, like Batman. Like, I realized, of course, I can't do that. This isn't Batman, but this game looks so much like it. It sounds like it. And you switch...

You switch with a select button between a projectile weapon and your hair, and when you duck, you punch. I think that's like Batman, too, isn't it? Instead of, like, you know, kicking or something. So it's hard. It's hard when you duck. They have to be right there. And then they... But the thing is, Batman came out in 1990 for NES.

And this game came out in 1990 for NES. Collusion. There's some kind of... Convergent evolution, my friend. It is a pretty crazy coincidence. I don't know exactly when in 1990 this came out. It might have been just far enough into the year, like at the end of the year that... The guy's a human.

Or moonlighting as Sunsoft programmers? That's possible. And they did like the same code in the back end or something, you know. You never know, man. You really don't know. This does predate humans sort of developing its own personality. Like at this point, human was still kind of trying to figure out what it was. This is also around the time that they created that Gilligan's Island game for NES.

It's about a year before Fire Pro Wrestling came out, the very first one. So like that, I think, was sort of the defining moment for human. But they still weren't quite there. So they were making Batman Ninja Guiden clones for NES in partnership with How? Why not? I think it is surprisingly fun to play in retrospect. Like, going back to it, I think it's responsive. Like, the animation of whipping your hair forward is actually like a really cool animation.

No, the character animation is really good. It is good, yeah. So I can see, the reason why we're talking about this is because it impacted Chris in a deep way when he saw it as a kid. I got to grow my hair out. I would write this comic. So cheap. That's your message, Hal. Yeah.

Holler at me. Have there been any, you know, cosplay, Kabuki Quantum Fighters that we know of? I don't know. That would be interesting. Now I know what I need to do for my next convention. There's this search engine I heard of. Oh, yeah?

Alta Vista. I was going to say Likos. You can search things. I keep looking at the window. I see the windows. Tell me about web spider. It looks like deadly towers in the background. What, the townhouses?

Yeah. Good audio content. Okay. It's crazy. Look out the window, guys. Wow. I feel so lonely with my sword. Yeah.

Whatever. Are you ready to achieve the millennial dream? Are you ready to be able to afford both avocado toast and a home mortgage? Then you definitely need to make certain you're being paid fairly for your professional skills and experience, rather than being exploited unfairly by the man. And there's no better way to do that than by using dice.com or the Dice mobile app. Dice will tell you the measure of your work-a-day worth by providing you with salary estimates based on your actual skills, experience, and location. It's also a great source of advice on which skills to develop for maximum earning potential.

Dice has been connecting tech pros with job opportunities for more than two decades, and their full-scale career hub can connect you with the tools and resources you need to manage your career. Whether that means finding your next job, guiding your next career move, or simply backing you up when you ask for a raise. Dice has insight into more than 70,000 tech jobs, including software development, U.X, and project management. So you can take a peek at your peer salary reports and get a sense of which jobs are heating up in your local market and which ones are fizzling out. Learn more at Dice.com slash can you hack it and hack your career with Dice. Here I'm walking through a field and I'm thinking about a girl just a few years younger than me that was stabbed to death. There are 120,000 unsolved murder cases in America, and each one is called a cold case. She said, I think my dad could be responsible. I think he killed them.

These are some of those rare cases. Cold case files the podcast. Don't miss a moment. Subscribe now on the Podcast One app, Apple Podcasts, or at Podcasts. And don't forget to watch your DVR Cold Case Files the TV show every Thursday at 10 on A&E. Picking a car in real life isn't like selecting one in a video game. Once you commit, there's no stepping back into the virtual garage to swap out parts or models. Nope, in real life, you've got to live with your decision until your loans paid off. The good news is that thanks to TrueCar, reality has its own virtual garage now,

one where all your options are unlocked in advance. The True Car app dials you into actual sales data from a network of more than 13,000 dealers, allowing you to connect with a local certified dealer and more than 700,000 pre-owned vehicles. True car allows you to find the exact vehicle you want, whether new or used. And thanks to the true car pricing curve, you can see what others in your area have paid for the same vehicle you're looking for. Plus, you'll be armed with knowledge of real pricing on actual inventory, plus all available sales incentives, before you ever make it to the dealer's lot. That's why an average true car users have saved more than $3,000 off the MSRP of their dream car across more than 3 million vehicles sold. When you're ready to commit to a new or used car, visit Truecar to enjoy a more confident car buying experience.

Not Available in all states. encapsulates that kind of feel in a way that other games that I was the Nintendo Power enabled me to be obsessed with like StarTropics I was like really into reading about more than I was into playing. Yeah, Star Trapics had that effect on me like from the Nintendo Power. I was like, yeah, this game's awesome, but I didn't play it for 10 years after that. And there's so much like story and you like get the idea that it's hitting at this bigger world.

And for me it was the same with Kaboohee Quantum Fighter. Like what is happening in this game? There have to be reasons for this. Yeah, like you play as Colonel Scott O'Connor, the Kabuki Quantum Fighter, but all the cutscenes have basically nothing to do with him. It's like, it's like, you know, all these guys standing around a computer center

and, like, watching him progress into the computer. And occasionally he'll be like, hey, I just cleared the stage or something. But, like, he's not really part of the story. It's like the story is following the people watching him. It's like in the Matrix, if, you know, half the story were about just people watching Terminal or something.

Watching Neo inside the computer. Well, it's a really interesting take on, and this is a thing that in retrospect, I think, might have drawn me to it. It's about a guy going into a video game world in the same way that, like, Captain N was. Like, you know, he has to go inside a computer. Or kid video. Or kid video. Kind of.

And you're the one playing the computer game, but you're, you know, it has this idea of, this is what's happening inside your video game. This is what a virtual world looks like. And so getting the story of the people like standing around watching them, I don't know. I think it's really cool. I like a movie, Quantum Fighter. There's a game later for Windows 3.1. It's the best Windows 3.1 game ever made called Operation Interspace.

And you pilot a ship into your own computer. It analyzes your directory tree and puts viruses on your actual executable program names. And the icons are in the game and you rescue the icons. or you shoot them if they're a virus infected. Wow. That's awesome. That sounds like something that actually inspired real, like, program hacker, people, like, holding Rina ransomware guys.

Maybe so. You never know. Wasn't there, like, a virus that turned your actual directories into, like, targets and you had to blow them up or something? Yeah. Then your system was dead. Really? Yeah.

Yeah. Sounds like Interspace. Like, someone took that, like, you can't come up with a cool idea like that because someone will say, what if we did that for real? Yeah, gosh. Destroy everything. What if we all became real-life Kabuki Quantum Fighters? I'm wearing my kabuki suit right now.

It's very... I like it. I like it. Yeah, so... That's the other thing. Like, in retrospect, the fact that this game has something that's so uniquely Japanese, that it is like, he's a kabuki guy, and it's a sequel to a movie. I'm shocked that this wasn't localized as, like, a Wayne's World game, you know?

Like, something that would have been, like, because it's headbanging inside the the Matrix. But would you be Wayne or Garth? Well, I mean, that hat's going to stop Wayne from having that good ability. Yeah, you'd have to be Garth rescuing Wayne. Can you imagine the neck muscles on that guy? Well, I mean, it's all

digital, so it doesn't matter, man. You're right. It's imaginary. Nothing matters. Why don't he just punch it? Why is he used his hair? That's how the Matrix works. I just got to believe, like, Parapa, in the matrix. So, yeah, let's talk briefly about how the game plays. Like, we've kind of discussed it a little bit, but like what I was really surprised about is maybe I shouldn't have been surprised but it's ruthless

it's really hardcore completely without ruth. It gives you two computer or two continues and there is one point I noticed where like there's an infinite loop sort of where this one enemy will give you a one up every time you kill him because I kept dying and I kept getting the one up there but other than that like there's there's just no mercy whatsoever it's possible like use the chips as ammo and it's possible to kind of grind for chips and then again this is something in Nintendo Power. They didn't even put this in classified information. This was the thing of the video game. Whenever you fight or the thing of the review, whenever you fight a boss, you have the option to trade in your ammunition for life, which is weird, but I kind of, I...

Faustian bargain. Yeah, I kind of like that it's there. It can go either way. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, you're trading a pound of flesh for a pound. of chips. That sounds delicious, actually. Usually you eat the pound of chips and it becomes a pound of flesh. That's a, I mean, usually you eat a pound of chips and you gained a pound of flesh.

So, yeah. Anyway, yeah, like I was really, especially sort of taken aback by how hard the third stages. The third stage basically has no enemies in it. It's all just platforming challenges. So it's like this game of attrition where you're trying to survive and get through all

these really difficult platforming challenges is, and there are no enemies to grind for health on. So you either make it or you die. And there are no checkpoints in this game. You make it to the end of the stage or you don't. And some of the stage timers are so strict. Like, unbelievably strict. Like, there was one that gave me 50 seconds to get through.

Really? 50 seconds. That computer virus is going to blow up the world. I was just farting around, having fun on the stream, chatting. And then all of a sudden I was dead. I was like, oh, wow, there's a timer. And it's really, really tough. It also does the Kid Icarus trick of having like horizontal stages, then then vertically oriented stages. Alternating.

But no, no, no, no, no, no labyrinth stages in the castles. Thankfully. I love those. But isn't a Metroidvania. It is not. I would say it is. No, I wouldn't. Get the hell out of here.

I wouldn't. It's a kabuki vanya. Yes, exactly. All right. So, um, any, any final thoughts on this game? I'm going to wrap it up with letters if, if not. I, you know, It's about a spiritual follow-up.

Oh, yeah. According to Hardcore Gaming 101, there was a game called Seven Blades for PlayStation 2. It was written by the scenario writer of this game and is a follow-up. I think it involves the Hyperion Space satellite system.

But other than that, it's like nothing to do with Kabuki Quantum Fighter. So this is a game they need to bring back. They need to put it in, I don't know, like virtual console or something. It's called Shanti. Yeah, that's a good idea. Make it a little easier.

That's brutal. Shante, though, That's a Metroidvania. Yeah, that's a damn good one. All right, so... Shanta really is the... It's the Kabugi Quantum Metroidvania. It's the Nectrosse.

It's allings everything in. Yeah, we need to do a Shanty episode. So from Tommy Fitzgerald. I have owned this game since it originally came out. I remember seeing previews for it and being intrigued by it, and it turned out to be a pretty good game, at least to me. Now, in 2017, it has become a cult classic, and who knew Hal would go from a fast-paced game like Kabuki Quantum Fighter

to games like Kirby and Smash Brothers. It deserves a very... virtual console re-release on Switch or 3DS so more people can play it. I agree. Agreed. Disagree. Oh, damn. Brutal. Still, two out of three. From Michael Mertes.

My first experience with Kabuki Quantum Fighter was seeing it as one of the mini games that kids could Velcro to themselves during the obstacle course run in the short-lived second season of video power. In practically every episode, the contestants were coming down the final slide and the co-host was yanking a box of Kabuki off of

their Velcro suit. So it had to be good enough for me to take home when I saw it at my local rental store, right? Turned out that it was good enough. As a fan of games like Ninja Guidon and Sunsoft games, this scratched my action platforming itch very well. The concept was unique from other games but still delivered a fun weekend rental experience

with great gameplay music and even cutscenes. Disagree. Let's see. Wholeheartedly agree. Great cuts. I'm a feeling I know how this is going to go. Wait, you forgot to play my introduction music. That gets spliced in later, dude.

Okay, good. I just didn't hear it. From David Greenwood. I love Kabuki Quantum Fighter. My first memory of it is seeing an article about it in a gaming magazine. I want to say, The Power, that the whole pitch was basically slay enemies, with your hair!

I thought it sounded really crazy and cool, but it would be several years before I actually played the game. I never got rid of my NES and continued collecting carts for it for years, and eventually I found Capuky Quantum Fighter at a used game store for a couple of bucks. Sounds like me. I remember the ads and couldn't pass up the chance to try it out. The weirdest thing about it was the backstory, which felt like a re-skitting of whatever the actual story was.

The main character was some Sergeant Joe American guy who wonder when an experimental procedure to shrink down to microsize and fight hackers inside a computer, but for some totally unexplained reason, he takes the form of a Kabuki actor and is like, sure, we can roll with this. Let's just start whipping people with my hair like you do. The game reminded me of Sunshouse Batman

except with quirkier style and much easier gameplay. Disagree. Agree. Ah, you don't agree. Hey, why, how come they're even played past the first stage? Well, how come there hasn't been a Sargent Pepper video game? I just thought of that. There has.

There has? It's called Earthbound. Hayank you. Then finally, from Namdor 07. I'm so happy to hear someone else knows about this game. Chris, you just made his day. It was and still is one of my favorite games, and no one ever knows that I'm talking about when I mention it.

My mom worked at a place called Keytronic when I was growing up. To this day, I'm not sure what she does, but my understanding is, at Keytronic, they made chips or some component Nintendo used in its games. as every once in a while she would get free or heavily discounted NES and Game Boy games. Most were garbage, but since we were relatively poor, I played the crap out of any title I could get my hands on. To my delight, one day after work, she brought home Kabuki Quantum Fighter. I would never have rented or purchased the game as a kid because funds were limited.

The memories of whipping my hair through the game and introducing my friends to the weird title are as strong with me, as I'm sure World One One of Mario is to most others. It was so strange at the time, and now almost 30 years later, the only game I can think of that lets you use your hair as a weapon is Bayonetta. That was a good story. That was a good story.

I think Bayanetta is a spiritual sequel to a big Confighter. It's just platinum. They're almost the same thing. Yeah. Yeah, so then finally from Dave Sarin, while most kids were going for the Zeldas and Mario's and Injig Guidance, I was picking up games like this,

Shatterhand River City Ransom and other second tier games that have gotten to become appreciated later on. River City Ransom was never second tier. It was not me. I would never love River City Ransom him with Shatterhand. Yeah. River City Ransom is not in terms of quality

in terms of popularity. Okay. He's talking about popularity. Okay. This game feels like a second-rate Batman or Nujigaden, but that was part of its term and I got many hours of it

out of it and really felt it was worth my 20 bucks. Also, being a young Japanophile, I tended to gravitate toward this style of game since it reminded me a lot of the anime I was watching at a time. So there you go.

It all comes together. It's all about Japan. So anyway, we need to wrap this episode up because you guys have families to go home to. There's rush our traffic outside. Good times. I love that. So, uh, let me say that I continue to be Jeremy Parrish, even in the virtual world. And I have very thin hair in and out of the computer world.

It's very sad. I can't, I can't kibuki. But you can listen to me on Retronauts at Retronauts.com on iTunes, on the podcast, one, network, and app. And you can support this fine endeavor to talk about weird, obscure. NES games through Retronauts.com, or Patreon.com slash Retronauts. Yes, exciting. Guys, Chris. I am Chris Sims, Quantum Fighter, and you can find all my stuff by going to the dashisb.com. Or heading to your local comic book store to get SwordQuest,

Asher versus Army of Darkness, or Deadpool Bad Blood, or the upcoming Guardians of Galaxy annual 2017, which my writing partner and I, we wrote all those, Chad Bowers. Every time you do one of these intros or outroes, you have new, new comics to talk about. Hey, it's the idea. He's got to keep it going. He's an impressive man. My name is Benj Edwards. You can read my stuff at Benjedwards.com or vintagecompeting.

Thank you very much. And that is it for this Retronauts micro. Join us on Monday for a full Retronauts. And in two weeks for another micro, because that's how we roll. Thanks. The Mueller Report. I'm Ed Donahue with an AP News Minute. President Trump was asked at the White House, if Special Counsel Robert Mueller's Russia investigation report should be released next

week when he will be out of town. I guess from what I understand that will be totally up to the Attorney General. Maine Susan Collins says she would vote for a congressional resolution disapproving of President Trump's emergency declaration to build a border wall, becoming the first Republican senator to publicly back it. In New York, the wounded supervisor of a police detective killed by friendly fire was among the mourners attending his funeral. Detective Brian Simonson was killed as officers started shooting at a robbery suspect last week. Commissioner James O'Neill was among the speakers today at Simonson's funeral. It's a tremendous way to bear, knowing that your choices will directly affect the lives of others.

The cops like Brian don't shy away from it. It's the very foundation of who they are and what they do. The robbery suspect in a man, police say acted as his lookout, have been charged with murder. I'm Ed Donahue.