Retronauts - Retronauts Micro 82: The Goonies

Episode Date: March 9, 2018

Continuing our exploration of media properties that inspired classic games (and, also, the games they inspired), Jeremy, Ben, and Chris climb down the Fratelli's fireplace to hunt for the ancient treasure known as The Goonies.

This week in Retronauts, we never say die. Hi, everyone and welcome to a lovely micro episode of Retronauts. I am Jeremy Parrish and with me this week. we have the Carolina's Chester Copperpot Chris Sims and Ben Elgin you're not you're not relating yourself to anyone gosh I don't know I am the the retro gaming sloth and Ben you are good enough oh well thank you up there it's their time but down here it's our time it's our time down here yes everyone that's right this week we are talking about the Goonies that is the movie and also the games now we've talked about the games a couple of of the games in the context of Metroidvania episodes, but we've really, in those games, we mostly talked about the structure of the games

and how they evolved the Metroidvania concept, if such a thing could be said to exist. And apparently it does because Nintendo uses Metroidvania to describe an entire category in e-shop now, therefore it is canon. But we haven't really talked about how the games fit into

like Goonies as a film and how they express the idea of being a movie tie-in. So, We're going to talk about those briefly, but mostly I just want to talk about the Goonies because it's good enough. So, yeah, Goonies, a 1985 film produced by Steven Spielberg, directed by Richard Donner. It was actually written by Steven Spielberg, and I read an interview with Richard Donner, where Donner was like, yeah, Spielberg said, I'm too busy, so Rick, why don't you just direct it? And Richard Donner said, but I hate kids, and this movie is all about kids. And yet, and yet it was made somehow.

Did you guys happen to see this back in the day when you were We Sprouts, or it was a little bit? that's something you came into later in life? I'm not sure if I saw it right when it came out, but I definitely saw it when I was still pretty young. And it had been a while, so I went back and rewatched it just recently. There's stuff that sticks with you, and there's a lot of it that just slides right off. And I was like, oh, that's in this movie, huh?

Mm-hmm. I was surprised going back to revisit it just how salty the kid's language is. Yes. They make a lot of cusses. They say shit a lot. That's a thing in like 70s and 80s movies. Like, if you go back and watch, like, the bad news bears, you will, it will shock you in a way that movies don't today. Yeah, it caught me off guard, just like the opening sequence chunk is there at the window.

He's like, oh, shit, that's his first line. I'm like, okay. The kids make a lot of swears throughout the movie. There's a lot of, a lot of very broad humor is something that I noticed. Like, the whole kind of running subplot with the Spanish-speaking domestic assistant. assistant they hire to help them move. Yeah, that whole thing is kind of weird. But she's a really important character because at the end of the movie, she actually

kind of saves the day. So, yeah, it's got that kind of like that 80s thing going on where it's like sort of funny and also sort of like wildly inappropriate and it would never fly now. But at the same time, you're like, how should I feel about this? I don't think I saw it in the theaters because I would have been very, very, very when it came out. But I do know that it was one of the few movies that my family owned on

VHS. We had that. We had Batman 66 and if you put those together, you can pretty much draw a straight line. There is the line of continuity for Chris Sims. So I did not go back and rewatch this movie because I haven't memorized.

It was a like once a week thing for me when I was a kid. And like as an adult when I was working in a comic book store, like at one point we got like a big collection of like 80s movie posters and like the only one I wanted was that Drewsters and like is that the one where they're all hanging from the stalactite yeah nice so yeah this was a very formative movie for me like in the way that I think it's why I as a writer and as a reader and like really attracted to like all ages adventure stories and you know like death traps because that's another thing that Batman and

and Goonies had in common. I love all the traps. Yeah, that's something I really noticed and picked up on watching this movie through, you know,

like again, after having not seen it for quite a few years, is the fact that like these Rube Goldberg traps and devices exist throughout. And like,

you first see it when they go to Mikey's house, the Walsh's house, and to let chunk in, they activate this ridiculous front gate thing. But then like that shows up throughout.

And, you know, One-Eyde-Willy, the pirate who has hidden a treasure beneath Astoria, Oregon, has hidden it behind all these crazy death traps. And all throughout the movie, they're constantly triggering these traps. And, you know, at the end of the movie, or towards the end, when they finally reached the pirate ship that's been hidden away, and Mikey finds the corpse of One-Eyed Willie, and he's like, oh, you only have one-eye, you're disfigured. You're just like us. You're a goonie, too. Like, I guess that was supposed to be sort of a recurring theme is that. these kids, you know, 200, 300, 300, however many years later, were kind of like the air is the one I'd willie because they didn't fit in. And also, they like really complicated

gizmos. Gadgets, yeah. The whole movie likes it sketches. I mean, it starts before the Reeb Goldberg one with Data's. Oh, true. Yeah. Data has his little, uh, I wanted that stuff so bad. All his stuff is great. Yeah. I don't know how he fit all that in one belt, but you know. Well, I also noticed watching it throughout like you can see all that stuff is on him throughout the movie like he has this big lump in his belly and I didn't notice it as a kid but now you watch it and you're like oh he's got that boxing glove just like under his sweater so yeah he's just a kid walking around in a trench coat armed with god knows what uh like electrical batteries and and oil slicks in his his sneaker heels i don't even know yeah it really is good how it ties together through

the whole movie though like the very last thing that gets activated on the on the ship at the end is, like, really very much like the doorbell gate you were talking about, only, you know, hundreds of years older. But there is that really strong idea running through it of, of legacy, like, you know, not just being, you know, from one I'm willing to Mikey, but the, from the parents to the kids, like when you see Data's dad bust out the camera that's basically mounted on the same kind of device and Mikey's dad being kind of, like, it's very easy to imagine. Yeah, it's very easy to imagine like you're growing up to be that guy.

Yeah, and even the bad guys, Troy and his dad, like, they are, you know, they have this genetic strain of dushiness to them. Yeah, yeah, you're right. I hadn't thought about that, but legacy is very much a part of this movie. I don't know, it's kind of a weird movie because it throws a lot of jokes out there and a lot of gags. They don't all land, and there's a lot of stuff where you watch it now and you're like, oh, really? but then there is kind of like this there's like genuine heart to it you can tell it's got that Spielberg thing going on

like the good Spielberg not the Ready Player One Spielberg Yeah like like everyone For every like cringe moment There's a redeeming one Like they're so like like you know Chunks whole character is wildly uncomfortable For a lot of the movie

Because it's all just fat jokes And he has to eat all the time But then he gets some really good moments Like the I love to tell me it tell us everything gag Where they're gonna That one of the best The best. Yeah.

Also, like, honestly, like, as much as he's the subject of a lot of fat jokes and the trouble shuffle, a lot of the chunk stuff, like, as a character, like his character moments. Oh, there's also a lot of Jew jokes in there, too. There are more than a couple. Everything he says is, like, Mata balls. But the part where he's trying to escape from the Fratellis, and he's psyching himself off, he's like, I'm not afraid of the dark, I'm not afraid of the dark. But I hate nature. like that's there's really good moments and I think it's one of the few movies where like every character even if they're and and in all honesty like data is very rooted in a stereotype chunk is very rooted in a stereotype uh like they have these good moments of character that shine through like they're not as rooted as they are in those stereotypes they're not one dimensional in a way that I think is really tough to pull off in an ensemble cast you know and he's not just a hot girl.

She has more character to her than that. Brad has more character. Brand. Brand. That's right. Brand. Sorry. Don't. Thanos is going to come after you. I'm worried about cable. So, yeah, I would kind of describe this movie as like the breakfast club for the Hardy Boys set. Yeah. Very much so. How is that for description? My God, they should put that on the box.

But it is very much like about these disparate stereotypes of kind of, kids from all walks of life being sort of thrust together, although in this case, it's sort of by their own choosing. And then they sort of fall into an adventure together and they're trying to solve a mystery while bad people are chasing after them. So it's, it's got that same sort of like outcasts of society appeal, you know, learning to get together, learning to be friends as the breakfast club does. But at the same time, like there's life and death, ridiculous adventure happening and an octopus that got cut out. But it did make it to some TV viewings.

I've seen that footage. And it's mentioned in the ending. Yeah, they kept the mention at the ending. And I believe data's like, and then there was the octopus and the reporter says octopus. And everyone in this, the theater is like octopus. I remember seeing that version of it like on the Disney channel, like after I had worn out the VHS tape that it had the octopus fight. And it's very easy to imagine. Why?

They cut it out. It's not done well. It was very much. It's a polling, uh, Spielberg. Berg's tradition of very fake-looking animals. Yes, along with the bats. Did the bats ever look like anything? I was trying to remember when I saw this movie,

because I'm watching the movie now, and I'm like, those are the fakes bats I've ever seen. They're terrible. I mean, it's the Jaws tradition right there. Yeah. Jaws worked because he barely showed any of Jaws. Although it kind of works in the kind of, because, I mean, the other thing that struck me

about all the adventure portions watching it now is how much the whole sequence looks like an amusement park. Like, you could very much be in a different way. There's a slide. Yeah, there's a water slide. That scene goes on forever, too. It's like they built this slide and they're like, we're going to show every single kid going down this the entire way. For each angle, yeah.

Well, that's, I think I talked about it the last time we were together. Like, I love, as much as I love being able to, like, watch a movie and, you know, Iron Man is flying around looking like Iron Man and the Hulk is there. Like, I love sets and I love mat paintings. And when it, like, when the camera pulls. back from the set and it's the skull, that's so brilliant. Like, it's so long. Are you talking about the P scene? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, that was, that was something that struck me this time, too, is that I had never occurred to me. It never occurred to me. Like, this was the same space where they were

all like, oh, we need to take a potty break. And they were having all this dialogue here and lots of conversations. And then the camera pulls back and you're like, the entire time, they've been in front of the skull. Yeah. It's really real. Yeah. I do I do wonder, though, like, you said it was, uh, what for the Hardy Boy said? Breakfast Club? Breakfast Club. Yeah.

But I do, I've always gotten the sense that it is one of those movies that doesn't have the timelessness, maybe because of, like, a lot of the dodgy humor and a lot of that. Well, also Swinsons and Pepsi. Like, there's a lot of product placement on. Maybe Ruth is still around. But, yeah, like, a lot of the other stuff, you're like, these brands, what happened to them? But, like, my wife has never seen Coonies. And it's, it's not a movie that I feel like she's going to get anything out of as an adult, you know, like as a grown person coming to this movie. Whereas if you grew up with it, I think you are almost universally going to have very fond memories of it.

Because, you know, like Beastmaster, another movie that I have fond memories of, it was on all the time. Like, I had it on VHS and watched it all the time. but it was also on the Disney chain all the time. It was on HBO all the time. It was always available for rental back in the day. But it's one of those that I think is hard to come to in 2018. If you have not seen the Goonies, you're probably better off listening to us talk about it than watching the movie.

Most likely. Yeah. And, you know, I don't even know if I would have as much fondness for the movie as I do, if not for the video games. Like, the Goonies, too, for NES, really kind of made me stop and be like, oh, the Goonies. At a point of my life where I was probably would have just, just been happy to forget about it. There's lots of movies that I saw as a kid that I liked

then that I can't really watch now. Like the Dark Crystal is just like, sorry, it's, it's, it's really dark and really drawn out. And as much as I love the practical effects in the amazing puppetry, I'm just like, this movie is so boring. And Goonies, Goonies is kind of the opposite. It's like so corny and goofy and sticky. But at the same time, like, you know, I've, I've lived this adventure myself. So it, it does kind of resonate with me in a way that wouldn't have without, you know, without those video games. You've lived the adventure in a very abstract manner. I mean, there was a mermaid at the end and dragons and a fire cave.

I don't know. But it was still, like, I was still Mikey, you know? Well, that was another thing that struck me watching this is that so, you know, the games that we'll talk about that came off this were very much what you could do at the time, which put them pretty far off from what was actually going on in the movie, whereas there's a lot of sequences in this movie that could go straight into a more modern 3D game. you know, there's platforming in the movie. There's, all the traps.

Well, the games were all platforming. Well, they were. And they, we'll talk about it. But they all did a pretty good job of taking set pieces and elements from the movie and saying, let's video game it. Yeah. I disagree with both of you. Well, okay.

How does that even work? Oh, we'll get there. All right. I'm just like, you know, I could see this as like, you know, a 3D Tomb Raider-ish kind of thing, which, if it did come out at that period, you, a lot of these sets and sequences would just There would be like a bonus multiplayer survival mode and quick time events. I'm not saying this would be a better thing or anything. I'm just saying, you know, watching this, there's a bunch of things that would just, you know,

slot straight into an early 3D video game era. You don't want the, you don't want the arena shooter when you're playing as, uh, I was thinking more like, more like, um, I call data, Goonies PubG. Pub Goonies. That's it. There you go. Player Unknown Battle Goonies. There you go.

Wow. I totally call data. I want those gadgets. I, yeah. I want to run around and hit you all with the springing up. I'll just be brand. He's just like a slab of teenage beef. That's true.

You'd have more hit points. Watching this, I was like, is he like a teenager in this? I looked him up and yeah. He was like 17 when Josh Boland was 17 with his movie. But he was like massive. I'm like, how is a teenager that ripped? It's terrifying. Well, he is exercising about every other second he's on screen.

Yeah, I know. But I'm still like, that's not special effects. Describing Goonies in those terms makes me like, people have said for years, like, oh, we want to do a Goonies reboot. We want to do a, like, a Gooney's sequel. But now I just kind of want to see Goonies with all the Overwatch characters in the various roles. Like, Soldier is definitely a brand. Yeah, sure, sure. Okay. Data, probably Sumbra, right? Yeah. I don't actually know the Overwatch characters. It could be. I could see that. I can see that. But way to keep it relevant for the contemporary audience. Yeah. I'm working on it, German.

So anyway, back to the, back to the movie itself. The premise of the movie is that basically kids have an adventure. But to get more specific, basically, these are a bunch of, you know, kind of like the uncool kids from school who hang out together because one of them is a nerd with asthma. One of them is the fat Jewish kid. One of them is the, I guess he's meant to be Chinese kid. He's actually, the actor is Vietnamese, but I think he speaks Chinese in the movie. And then the other one is just obnoxious. So, like, they all have one is Corey Phelman.

Cory Feldman is the obnoxious kid. So they all have trouble kind of fitting, and they become the goonies. They're like the nerd club. Yeah. Yeah. Data lives right next door to Mike and Mikey. With his zip line? Yes.

Which leads directly to Mikey's front door. It's great. I didn't want a best friend who had a zip line near front door. It's so dope. That's so awesome. So, yeah, you kind of get the element there. But I'm not really clear on the overarching story. Like, everyone's going to have to move the next day because.

So they were going to build. the country clubs. I think they just bought up this whole section of the neighborhood. They're foreclosing. So they can level it. Yeah, but how does that work? Like, if they own their homes, how can someone foreclose on? I don't get finances. I think maybe they were all renting because they seem like, I mean, it's a movie for babies. So it is very much like an unexplained plot of, oh, we don't have the money to save the house, you know, which is a fear that a child can, I think, relate to. No one likes moving. But then there's already a country club. When they start messing with the pipes, you see Troy, the teenage jerk sitting on the toilet with his underwear on still, just like hanging out in a country club. So the country club's already there. I guess they're just going to make a bigger one or another one. It's like when they close down one little Walmart to make a super Walmart.

So they're going to lose the goondocks, which is what they call. Like you mentioned in the notes that it's what they call a store. story, but it's not. Maybe it's just their neighborhood. It's just their neighborhood. It's just their little row of houses that's getting foreclosed on. That's the gondocks, which I always liked, because I had never heard the phrase boondocks before that, because I was like three. Oh, okay. So I came to the word gondocks first. Okay. Yeah, I don't know how practical their home as a country club is, because it's actually up on a hill looking over the rest of the city. Like, who's going to golf on that? I don't know. It's not exactly like Primo.

golf land. But I guess maybe they'll flatten it, do some terraforming. I guess you're not supposed to think too hard about it. But I can't help it because I'm adult now. So I'm like, huh, what's the, what's the logic here? But okay, so basically the kids are going to be forced to move away and they're all going to be broken apart and never be able to see each other again. Very sad. Go to different schools. Yeah. So then Mikey's dad is a museum curator. And for some reason, It just keeps, I would say, extremely valuable 400-year-old documents in his attic. Because it's the... As one does.

His attic is the back room in the museum for whatever reason. It could be. A story is not a very big city, so it's more of a town. So the kids are goofing off with some of the stuff, and they find a treasure map. Again, the dream of nerdy children everywhere. And it's all written in Spanish, but fortunately, one of the kids reads Spanish. And it just happens that when you translate the Spanish, it all rhymes. English. It's very, very thoughtfully constructed Spanish, I have to say. The pirates were really

thinking ahead. He had one eye, but he was very bilingual. He was. The other thing, the other thing this movie never explains is what a Spanish pirate was doing in Astoria. He got really lost around the Cape of Good Hope. I don't know. For several months. I mean, there was a lot of, like, there was a lot of piracy involving, like, the West Coast. Like, Portland, Oregon was a big pirate. coast. Portland was, really? Portland was a... I mean, like, at one point, the British Navy forbade its soldiers from taking leave in Portland, Oregon. I did not know that.

Yes, that is actually a fact. Sorry, I know it sounds enticing being a Portland and all, but you can't go there. It was a wild town. I mean, but I think this is also supposed to be where one-eyed Willie, like, wound up. Like, when he wanted to get away from everything, like he sailed as far away as he could and found a place to hide his ship. But also, like, I mean, honestly, I know we're recording this in Raleigh. This should, this movie should take place in North Carolina?

We got plenty of pirates here. Should it? Really? Yeah, Blackbeard's ship is here. I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. Queen Anne's Revenge. I just live here.

That's one of the beers at my local pub is going to Queen Anne's Revenge because his pirate ship. You get a lot of, like, I grew up in South Carolina, so Charleston has a lot of piracy, but like the outer banks of North Carolina. I guess they were trying to break the cliche of movies being filmed in Wilmington. That's one of the extra missions in Assassin's Creed 4 when you get out of the Caribbean, you come up to the Carolina Coast. Yeah, because that's where Blackbeard ended up. I'll be darned. I'll be horn swagled even.

So while this is going on, there's an unrelated jailbreak of the Fratellis, which are a, they're a crime family, but not in the way that that is usually used. No, they're like a nuclear family. It's a mother and two sons. Three sons. Sloth is not really part of the criminal family. He's not part of the criminal family. He's chained up in the basement and watches TV. Yeah.

You know what I just realized, like, right as we started recording? This is directed by Richard Donner, the director of Superman. Yeah. And half of Superman, too. Right. And when Sloth... Oh, yeah. It's a self-referenced.

It's a big. And they have the Superman music cue in there. They have, they take cues from two different movies. They also have, um, whatever pirate movie that is. The Errol Flynn movie. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That Sloth is watching like when, when Captain Chunk appears.

at the end with Sloth. They like pick up that musical sting from the movie. And then of course, yeah, Sloth shows a Superman shirt at dun da-da-da-da-da-dan. Yeah? Yes. Yeah. I'm glad you caught that. It's a funny little reference. So they break the, uh, they break the younger brother, who is Joe Pantoliano. Uh, no, they is the, the older brother is in, is in jail. Is he the one in Joe? The one who sings opera. Yeah. Okay. Francis. Francis. Uh, they break him out of jail with a very ridiculous jailbreak. Like, ridiculous in every way. I love the, um, the toilet like you bend used to fake his suicide in the opening moments.

Do you really think I'd kill myself? Yeah. There's a faked suicide in the opening moments of this movie I watched 50 times when I was five years old. That's one of the things I had totally forgotten. When I put this movie back on again, I'm like, what is this jail scene? I didn't remember it at all. I'm like, and I'm like, these guys are complete dork. Right.

And then they, they set like, like, a thin strip of fire around the parking lot. Because the cops are going to be like, oh, I'm not going to jump through that very thin strip of fire. Nobody ever comes out to ask Joe Pantiliano why he's pouring gasoline outside the jail. It's a small town, okay? I've seen that jail. I went to Astoria in like 2006.

You're on the Goody's tour? No. We just kind of went on our own. We went up, you know, for vacation for a couple of days. in Portland and we just happened to stop in a story. I was like, hey, this is where the Goonies was. So we drove up and looked at the house and looked at the museum and the jail station, the, what do you call it?

The jail? Yes, the jail station. Police station. Yes, that's the one. I was like, oh, yeah, I've seen all these places. Okay, that's good. Let's go. There's a lot of seals there on the docks.

Lots of seals. So the Fratellis escaped from jail. And they hole up at this abandoned restaurant on the coast. which just happens to be the part of the coast that the map leads the kids to for the first clue to find this treasure, which there's so much that, like, doesn't hold up under any scrutiny. Absolutely. I don't think that's a bad thing in this movie because I think, you know, it's an adventure

movie and it moves quickly enough that, like, a lot of these pieces and mcuffins are just kind of arranged for either experience. I mean, the whole idea of, like, sneaking in and, you know, seeing criminals and the old shack that's been abandoned, like, that is so hardy boys. The whole thing is just like, you know, like 1930s adventure story that's, you know, meant for, you know, eight-year-olds. I did also like, it's another kind of adventure story staple leading up to this is the bit where you hold up the doubloon with the holes in it and it matches the C-stack rocks to point you the right direction. Because if you've, I mean, if you spent any time in the Pacific Northwest at all, those rocks are all over the place and you can totally see that happening. And it's another classic, like, you know, you have this piece of hardware that matches something.

But nobody at the museum ever took this treasure. like this dot because it's uh it's on the back of something that's framed uh and i don't think it's not the treasure map isn't on the front is it is the treasure map framed uh i don't remember what it is on it doesn't matter or some other map but there was more details on the back none of these professional museum people who framed this document had ever noticed that it's got right there's a huge piece of metal stuck to the back of this that's crazy so they get involved uh they end up going through the fireplace uh at the restaurant which i guess means this restaurant is built on a 400-year-old foundation.

Then they go through the tunnels. They find Chester Copperpot, who was an explorer who went missing because he vowed to find this treasure and then died under mysterious circumstances and was never found. They find him. The mysterious circumstances than a large stone. Very large rock. But I do love that part, though, because it's very easy to write like, oh, you know, there was this guy and he gave up.

you know, he could never find the clue. But having him die in the death traps and then building to that moment where Mikey is like, this guy spent his life doing this and we've made it further than him. We need to keep going is such a cool moment in the movie. I've taken over this summary. That's fine. We don't really need to summarize the whole thing. It was meant to be more of like a bunch of death traps.

Then they find the ship, which is called the Inferno, which is a dope name for a ship. It's hidden in this, again, in this cove that no one else is. noticed ever. Well, it's blocked out. Yeah, it's, it's hidden. It is a hidden cove. It is a hidden cove. It's like a watery cave. Yeah, it's not until they start setting off some earthquakes at the end that it actually like breaks a real opening that you could get in out. Which is another trap set up by one I will eat. And then there's the, um, the, the, like, weird, um, uh, Chekhov's gun where they find dynamite. And you keep seeing them like look at the dynamite and

handle it all the way through but they don't mistake it for a candle until the very end when they actually need it like they accidentally light dynamite and they're like oh we need to blow up some rocks throw it at the rocks. It's you know don't think too hard about it. So the whole time they're being

chased through this series of death traps by the Fertellis which I think adds like a really good moment of danger to it because it's not just that they're it's not just they don't want to turn back they can't because there there's a force closing in on them that means to do them harm because obviously the Fertellies want this big treasure. And so I think it creates this really, this really excellent balance of tension

and then gives them multiple chances to get out of it, which they refuse to take. Like the bottom of the wishing well, they could, they could leave, but they choose not to. And so there's this real idea in there of being chased into danger, but also that there's this resolve to see it all through to the end because down here it's our time. Right. Because they're the Goonies and Goonies never say die. Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of interesting contrast. It makes like the, so the

place where they can get out with the bucket in the well is where, you know, Mikey has his speech about how they have to keep going. And it's all, it's this very, sort of the St. Crispin's Day speech of the movie. It's this very inspiring call to arms, but it's over, you know, it's about whether we take Troy's bucket and then it ends with an inhaler puff.

And the movie does this a lot. It has this like, you know, takes it so seriously moments, but then, like, can have to be back on. Yeah. planning a spring break getaway well with the capital one venture card you earn unlimited double miles on any purchase you make today and every day and those miles add up to get you closer to that trip to paradise every vanilla soy latte double miles every time you pump gas double miles even when you buy a set of monogram beach towels yep double miles you earn unlimited double miles on every purchase and then you go the capital one venture card the card that takes you there What's in your wallet? Capital One Bank, USANA. Education is great. Student loans? Not so much. Those monthly payments stretch out ahead of you for years.

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Go to credible.com slash retro and click Find My Rate to see if you could save by refinancing. That's C-R-E-I-B-L-E dot com slash R-E-T-R-O, Credible.com slash Retro. Thank you. Yeah, you know, I think one of the big things that really helps this movie work on the level that it does is that the casting is really good. Like, they cast kids who really have charisma and they're pretty good at being convincing in what they're saying. Like, occasionally you get a few little speeches where you're like, but for the most part, they come off as being authentically children. And apparently they were just hell to direct. Like, if I've read all kinds of anecdotes where Richard Donner is like, oh, my God, they were just all over the place.

It was so hard to keep them under control. They were great, but oh, God. Like, you can tell he is someone who didn't spend a much time around kids and had no idea what to do with kids. But he pulled it together, and I think it helped that they really got on well the kids did with the actor behind Sloth, John Matusak, who was an NFL player known for being huge and also incredibly violent on the field. But supposedly, like all the anecdotes I've read, he passed away back in the late 80s, early 90s. Apparently he was like a gentle giant type with kids and he was just like super, you know, affectionate to them and, you know, they felt really safe around him and they loved to prank him. Like, you know, you got to feel pretty safe if you're pulling pranks on a six foot seven man made of solid steel who has a, you know, a reputation for being a temper, you know, having a temper and crushing. other football players alive.

So, yeah, the chemistry, I think, works there really well. Like, you feel like these kids were all friends. And there is this kind of interesting disparity in age differences. Like, most of the, the goonies themselves are probably like 10 years old, 12. And then they kind of pull Mikey's older brother, Brand and his two female friends, one, a girlfriend and also his girlfriend's best friend, I guess. What was that look about, Chris? You think there's maybe a little something more?

I think there's a lot of subtext. Okay, all right. But anyway, yeah, like, there is, you know, that sort of stratification of age where the older kids don't really quite work on the same level as the younger kids. And that, you know, that happens in real life. And I think that dynamic kind of comes through in the movie. And it makes it interesting. Like, if it were just a bunch of 11-year-olds having an adventure, that'd be okay.

But having the older kids there, I feel like it adds a little something to it, maybe something for the older kids. Like, there is the romance. subplot such as it is between Brand and Andy. And also, like, I personally relate a lot to Martha Plinton's character because she's kind of, like, sarcastic and over at all. I'm like, yeah, that's me. And also she loses her glasses in his mind. I'm like, yeah, that's me. There's a really, you know, thematically, there's a really nice piece where, like, in a very literal sense, it's their last adventure as the Goonies. Like, it is established that they have done

stuff before. Like, we know. really get details on that. We don't know what it is. Maybe they met a mermaid at some point in the past. I think that was later. Yeah. But they've done stuff together as a group that are adventures. And this is their last chance to have an adventure. So it's very much a, you know, this is the last thing we're going to do as kids before we go back to the world of adults where there aren't death traps and pirate ships and tunnels that people absolutely should have found when they were building this well or the water pipes

from the grocery club. And so the idea that they're the ones driving the story with Brand kind of like tagging along like dragging him

kicking and screaming back to this weird childhood thing is a thing I really like because it's one of those things where only a kid would think oh there's treasure

at the end of this tunnel. Like there's going to be enough pirate treasure to save our heart homes because it's a very kid idea that turns out to be real. And it's also nice how they start out as kind of disparate groups, but all end up pulling together by the end. So you get like towards the end, you have the puzzle with the piano and Kate's helping with that. And so they're all kind of working together by that point.

Get it wrong and we'll all be flat. Yes. Although it bothered me, she had this throwaway line about not being able to figure out whether something on the paper was A sharp or B flat. I'm like, those are the same note she did say she hadn't studied music since she was like three years old or something yeah yeah and this wasn't her mother Steinway yeah you can you can forgive it a little yeah i think you really see sort of the legacy of this movie and something like stranger things which really tries to sort of capture the the goonies themselves like stranger things that has sean assed in it yeah yeah well the sequel does i haven't seen that one all the way through yet but um like the the dynamic of

the kids and then you know sort of the outsiders and the mystical forces like stranger things definitely takes that a lot further and um you know it's it's very much a modern take on it where it's it's decompressed instead of being a 90 minute movie it is a what 10 part Netflix series so yeah so it has time to kind of sprawl and sometimes it feels a little padded in a way that the goonies never would like when you actually watch the goonies now the adventure part of it really is basically like the middle third of the movie. Like the stuff they're doing, the running around in the tunnels. To me, when I was a kid, like that part seemed to be, you know, the movie. Like, that was the whole thing. But it takes like half an hour to build up to that. And then they're running around for half an hour. Then there's sort of like half an hour in the pirate ship and, you know, the resolution with the police and with the Fertellies and everything. But the actual, you know, the core adventure that they base the video games on, it's not that many elements. It's like they go down into the basement. They avoid the stone plunging death traps and find Chester Copperpot. They pee and walk through the skull.

They see the well. And then they escape from the piano across the log. That's pretty much, the mast, I guess. That's pretty much it. There's not actually that much to the adventure. But it felt much bigger when I was a kid. Yeah, it's like you could see all this in like, you know, one amusement park ride. You're pretty sure.

Yeah. I think it feels big because every piece of it is a set piece. You know, like every, like, it's the falling rocks and then it's the get your arm trapped and then it's the piano and then it's the log across the waterfall and then it's the well where the speech happens and then there's the pipes that are going to explode the toilet because that's how plumbing works. And then they get to the, you know, to the inferno, which is, then they go down the water slides and get the inferno. So did they. And like everything is a big dramatic set piece. even though there's like, you know, it's really a journey of like five or six parts, but each part is huge, at least, you know, visually.

And it's something that makes an impression. They do a good job, I have to say, um, whoever edited or directed, I guess, uh, the movie, they all did a really good job of pacing it. So there's like action and then there's sort of a little bit of a downtime in between and then all of a sudden, you know, the danger reoccur.

So it never feels like exhausting and it never feels like it really just drags out. There's always kind of this up-down. and up down. So just as you start to get exhausted from the action, you have a chance to kind of shift into lower gear. And then just as you start to relax, all of a sudden, you know, things get dangerous again. So it's a really masterfully paced movie. I guess, you know, that's maybe that's the Steven Spielberg coming through. It's like back when he was the master of his craft, like really kind of nailing what it is to, to draw you into escapism. Yeah. And I think that also, like,

this would have been Spielberg coming right off of of Raiders. Two. This was 85. Raiders was 81. Temple of Doom was 84, but that was George Lucas, really. Grimlins, when was that? Was that 84? I think it was.

So I think this was coming right after Grimlins, actually. Which they also referenced. Grimons? What's that? It's Spielberg to Grim ones? Yeah. Huh. Yeah.

And it was referenced in this movie about the, yeah, that's right. That's right. Yeah, yeah. That was one of chunks' previous pranks. Yes. Talking about monsters that multiply when you get All of those being movies that are like very setpiece heavy, you know, like, like readers especially trying to recreate the serial feel of like adventure movies, you know, moving from set piece to set piece in the same way that Goonies does, you know, which Grimlins does a little bit.

But in a much weirder and less in the climax is at a shopping mall, right? Or a department store. Yeah, department store. Right. So, but, but yeah, I guess, you know, when you think about it, Indiana Jones for kids is what? It's Hardy Boys. So you get that connection there. I see where they landed on this. But yeah, this was very much, you know, a Steven Spielberg creation, even though he didn't direct it himself, sort of at the sort of peak of his power in Hollywood before he decided to direct Schindler's list and get all serious. This was still when he was just like, let's have fun adventures. Hooray. And kind of reprocessing the things he loved. as a kid, the same way George Lucas did with Star Wars, and basically, you know, taking

the things he watches as a kid, the movies and TV shows he enjoyed when he was younger and saying, let's modernize this for kids these days. Yeah. And I think it, you know, also stands in contrast to like E.T. Where E.T. was, like, weirdly, like, fairy taleish. Whereas, like, Goonies for all the pirate treasure and death traps, like, maybe because the kids cuss a lot and like hate each other like hate the other kids like it feels less like a fairy tale and more like an adventure story yeah yeah i agree

All right, so we've talked a lot about the movie. Let's talk a little bit about the games. There are basically that I can find four games based on the Goonies. There is the MSX game by Konami, which is very similar to the NES game by Konami, but not quite the same. There is a C-64 and other PC game, and then there is the Goonies 2, the amazing sequel to the Goonies, which we have talked about. And I've never been able to play.

the C-64 game, but it seems really interesting. I think there was a remake of it a few years ago. Or maybe that was the MSX version. But the C-64 one came first, which I guess makes sense because, you know, American movie, American developers. I forgot to look up who developed the goodies. But, you know, you kind of get... The C-64 game is very much... This actually says Konami also.

Oh, is it a Konami game? Yeah. The C-64 one? I'm sure you're not looking at... the MSX one. That is the MSX one. I'm sorry, that's the MSX one. Yeah, the C-64 one is different than the others because it's very much in keeping with the C-64 game spirit where it doesn't have, you know, a big scrolling world to explore. Every stage is like a single screen. So it's kind of got that arcade style. So Donkey Kong load runner-ish. Kind of, but at the same time, because

you know, because it's a computer game, it's a little slower. So it has like more of a puzzle element to it, which is not to say it's a puzzle game, just that it's a little more meticulously paced than a Donkey Kong. So Datasoft was this one. Okay. So Data developed it as, you know, after his slick shoes, he moved on to game development. Have you guys played this one? Have not. No, I have not. But judging by what I can see online, like it looks very much like it is recreating all the set pieces. Right. Well, that's what all three of the versions based on the movie do. Like, that's the thing that is interesting. is there are three different versions of the Goonies, but all of them are kind of just doing

the same thing. Like, you get, you know, a pirate ship at the end. You get large stones that rise and fall. You get bats and rats and skeletons and things like that. You have, you know, everything always starts in the Fratelli hideout and then goes to the basement and then goes to the caves and then ends up at the, uh, the, uh, the pirate ship at the end. Looking at screenshots is kind of interesting in this one because it's the single screen puzzle kind of game. You get, you get all of these set pieces condensed down to one single cutaway. So you have like the entire outline of a pirate ship as a single screen platform level with, you know, little ladders between the different decks of the ship and stuff.

And then you have like the cave system. So yeah, it's an interesting sort of condensed take there. Right. Yeah. That's, that's what I was trying to get across. And there is an octopus. There is total octopus in here. The Famicom, the Famicom game has Octopi too, but they're not like a boss. They're just like little creatures that you can shoot. This is a pretty big guy on one of the, one of the single screen levels has a whole corner of it. Let's see, let's see. This big octopus down by a waterfall. Dang, look at that.

Monochrome octopus. So I think the, the C-64 version was ported to other computer systems, but I never saw this in stores. I don't think I was really looking at computer games at this point of my life, but it doesn't, I don't remember having seen. It came out on Apple 2, Atari 800, MSX also, just to confuse things. That must have been in Europe, because the MSX didn't really have much traction in the U.S., but it did make its way to Europe to a limited degree. Yeah, I could definitely see this being on Apple, too, like the graphics that it's got. But the other MSX game is pretty interesting because it's very similar to the Famicom game

that did make it to the U.S. on PlayChoice 10 and the versus Unisystem. But it's also different. Like, you know, Konami did this a lot with their games. Like, they would develop a game for NES Famicom and also for MSX. and the MSX game would be different. Yeah. Similar, but different. Like, you look at Castlevania, and on the NES,

Castlevania is just a straightforward action game. But, you know, as we've talked about here on the show before, the MSX version is more like an adventure where you have, you know, six stages, but the stages are not just like pure linear action. They're more exploratory and they loop. So you have to, like, find your way through the castle and collect items and find the right materials to get you to. the next stage. And the MSX version of the Goonies does something very similar with that.

There's a lot of that in this era where you have platforming that's kind of this weird open-ended loops where you just have to keep going until you've got what you need and then you move on. That was very popular, I think, in a lot of PC games. And you did see that in some of the early Famicom games. But really, I think developers were like, well, this console is good at action and not much all. So let's do action. So the Famicom version of the Goonies is very much just like six stages where you start at the beginning in the Fratelli shack and then work your way down and eventually make it to the Inferno, by which I mean the pirate ship. Although you're still collecting along the way, right? Because you have to get...

You have to rescue the Goonies along the way. So the stages are exploratory, but you have a very strict time limit on them. And you have to rescue the Gooney and find three kids and each or three keys in each stage to get to the door. Yeah. Or my understanding is you have to get the keys to move on. And the goonies are kind of optional, except you need to have them all at the end of the game if you want, like, the real end stage. Is that it? Okay. I thought, I thought that's what I could be. I don't know. I've never not collected all the guineas. Yeah. I think, I think you miss out on something. Yeah, but it's interesting because there is kind of like this front back element to it where you go through doors and there's like a second aspect to a stage. And they get pretty

maze like toward, toward the middle actually. Like the last couple of stages are a lot easier than the ones in the middle. And then there are hidden items around that you can find, Like, if you know where to kick or to drop a bomb, then you can find earmuffs. So when the brother who sings opera at you sings, it won't hurt you because apparently it will hurt you if you're not wearing earmuffs. He's a very good singer. I know. It's very kind of offensive. He's kind of creepy, but he's a good singer.

Yeah. All right. Here's the part where I'm going to say I disagree with both of you. Okay. I think this is not a intuitive. or the best way to adapt the Goonies to video games. All right. So what is?

Castlevania. How so? I feel like the journey in the Goonies is extremely linear. Start at the beach, you know, go to the restaurant, follow, you know, through the tunnel of each trap. It's a very linear progression from the beach to the inferno. Doing it in the weird, like, Goonies 2, Metroidvania style where there's a lot of, Well, Goonies 2 is a sequel. It's not an adaptation of the game.

That's a follower. It's the successor. It's the next adventure for Mikey and the game. With the mermaid. With mermaid. But even the original one was fairly maize-like, even though it was single levels. It's not a maze. It's just obstacles that you have to get through.

So I think presenting it in the style of, like, Castlevania, which, as you've written about, Jeremy, has like a very cohesive environment. I think moving from one element of that game to the next, or element of that movie to the next, would make for a very compelling, like just straight up, side-scrolling Castlevania-style adventure. The problem is that there's essentially only three bosses.

But I think even having to, like, rescue the other goonies, there's no, you never have to rescue the other goonies, except maybe Chunk. And Chunk gets rescued by Sloth at the end. Yeah. So I feel like there's so much there that would be so easy. Chunk actually rescues everyone else. He comes in and saves them at the make of time.

Maybe you play us Chunk in the, that's DLC. That's DLC for the Famicom. But yeah, like I feel like you could, you know, very easily translate that into a form that felt more like the movie. But, you know, like you could have an entire level of trying to get across logs on the waterfall. That's just Frogger. No, it's sideways. Oh, okay. Now that you say that, I could see someone coming up with a series of levels

that would be very nice for Jeremy to draw a map of and draw the outline of the ship. No, I've mapped out the original Goonies. And I have to say there is, like, the Famicom version, there is a sort of cohesion to it. I mean, yes, you're, you have these kind of levels that have a maze-like quality to them. But progressively, you're always going down and you're always going to like the deeper layers of the caverns until you finally reach the pirate ship. So it kind of works. Like, when you draw it all out, you're like, oh, okay, yeah, I see it.

If it, if it works when you draw it out, I don't know that it works when you're actually playing the game, but that's only my experience with it. Maybe you should try drawing it out sometime. Maybe I should have someone else's already done it for me. I think you could very easily not call that game the Goonies. And we would only be thinking like, we would be here being like, yeah, you know, there is this weird NES game or this weird MSX game that kind of follows the same plot. but only kind of. That's my thing with it. Well, the MS6 game is much more involved, like it has passwords to save your progress and things like that. The NES Famicom game, the first one, is really more of an arcade

experience. And while the stages do require some exploration, I don't know. I feel like it's a pretty good, pretty faithful adaptation. Like, the further you get, the more you start to encounter things from movies. Like, there's no organ that you, have to play, but you have waterfalls and you have, like, again, the rocks that fall and you have stalactites and things like that. Eventually, the ghost of one-eye Willie will appear and float across the screen at you, and you can't destroy him unless you have a slingshot, just like in the movie. Yeah, One-I-Willi, he does not attack you. I think if you started now, you could make a very fun, like, switch e-shop game about the Goonies starting from scratch. And it definitely needs to

have the, like, Oregon music puzzle in there. That's what I want to know. I mean, there's no way to fit it into the kind of game that these were. Yeah. But I mean, like a little, little dense dance revolution style. That's all well and good, but you also need a jet pack. Well, yes. And a yo-yo.

For the sequel. Mikey's famous Goonies yo-yo. Well, in the first game, he uses kick attacks. He's kicking mice. Mice, kick and Mike. Please, please, can I, can you pull up on YouTube the scene where Mikey throws a kick in that movie? Well, he does get his butt caught in a.

mouse trap. That's kind of, no. There's not a lot of mice hunting in the actual movie, I'm afraid. So I said it a few episodes ago, but I am going to try to use NES maker to create Jetpack Goonies, although I have to change the name somehow. But it's going to be different. It's not going to be about Mikey for one thing. It's going to be, I don't know, maybe about Steph, because like I said, I relate to her. I'm like, yeah, you're kind of over this. Maybe

maybe a little real level where you get to play as Annie, the mermaid, I don't know. Maybe the game should be from the Fratelli's perspective. I don't know. Who makes the most sense with a jet pack? Is it, is it Francis? I hate these kids. Sounds like a, definitely like a

indie game three years ago. Have you played I hate these kids? Oh, yeah, I saw that on Xbox Live Arcade. Yeah, anyway. I guess I don't really have anything more to say. I mean, there is the Goonies, too, but we have talked about that a lot. I love the fact that it takes the Goonies and it's just like, guys, let's just go crazy with it. Who cares about authenticity?

So you end up with the ice caverns. You end up with the magma pools, with dragons. You end up with like an attic. Okay, that's the attic, sure. But wait, that's Mikey's attic. What is it doing on top of the Fratelli's hideout? And why is it full of like ghost night? and skeletons that hop at you.

Well, because that's what you find in a museum, obviously. And then there's giant scorpions, which might actually be Darth Vader. It's possible. I do, as much as I was eternally frustrated with Goonies, too, as a child, I do like the idea that it is a perfectly logical sequel to Goonies the video game that ignores the fact that Goonies the video game is based on anything. I mean, it's kind of based on, like, the kids all even use their names. They're like, hey, Mikey, if you use the transceiver, this is data.

I'm, like, near the water. Can you find me? So they talk to you. There's two girls and four boys. Right, you've got to get the transceiver. Just like they do in that classic scene. Sloth doesn't appear. I guess he's back in the NFL or whatever.

I don't know. Hey, it's pretty weird that Chunk just goes to his mom and he's like, hey, I found a large man who's going to come live with us now. He's going to be his brother now, yeah. I mean, you got to just roll with it. she does she absolutely like finally a whopper of a tail that is actually not a lie way to go way to go baby way to go Lawrence anyway any final thoughts on the Goonies before we wrap this one up we kind of petered out there we've been at this a while yeah like I would be I would be curious to know what people who who watch it for the first time now think about it and whether it holds up because I honestly like I I guess the Harry Potter movies are kind of the air to this. It's kids on

on adventures. Yeah, Stranger Things, definitely. But Stranger Things is kind of like retro in a way that Goonies is now. But, you know, Goonies was contemporary in 1988. Harry Potter takes place in the early 1990s. Only technically. Only, don't

I don't want to get into this right now. Harry Potter really is pretty retro. But I mean, like, it's, that's kids on an adventure. Like, that's the, 25 years ago. Jeremy Anyway I would like to know

Like what Like is there something that like has more of like the The legacy of Goonies that's not like retro styled like in an effort to like go back to that era I think maybe you can't have kids on an adventure like that now because you know hover parents and cell phones Cell phones change things a lot They just grew up a lot of lots you wouldn't have this adventure if any character in the movie had cell phones. They're down on a tunnel, so no bars.

The reception might be pretty bad. Mom, can you hear me now? Although you could probably get a cell phone signal out through the well, so. Okay. Anyway. Connect to Wi-Fi in the country club. Yeah. You get on the country called Wi-Fi through the pipes, yeah.

I think that about wraps it up for this episode. Thanks everyone for your patience with us. If you haven't seen the Goonies, like Chris said, maybe don't watch it. Just watch Stranger Things. but definitely do play the video games. They're pretty fun. I can't really vouch for the C-64 version, but the ones by Konami are all a good time

because it's Konami and Konami in the late 80s was a good time, always, guaranteed. So thanks, everyone. This has been Jeremy Parrish. You can find me at Retronauts here, this podcast on iTunes, on the Podcast One Network, et cetera, et cetera. You can find me personally on Twitter as GameSpite,

and Retronauts is on social. media as retronauts, you can find us there, guys. You can find me at t-H-E-S-B-B-com with links to all the comics that I write and all of my various online presences. You will also find that your unspoken expectations I find too hard to break. Well, I can break all your expectations for you, but you can find my personal Twitter at Kieran, that's K-I-R-I-N-N, at Twitter. And I also have a blog of old things from the 80s and 90s on Tumblr, which is at

Kieran's retrocloset.tumbler.com, only wanting and in Kieran on that one just to confuse you. That's where I'm at. And that's it. We're done. Go away now. Goodbye. I don't know. And now an ad from dad

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