Retronauts - Retronauts Micro 89: The History of Video Game Ads Part II
Episode Date: June 15, 2018We're back with our follow-up to Retronauts Micro 87, which dives even deeper into the history of video game advertising. This time around, we leap from the "Have you played Atari today?" era of TV sp...ots to the brilliant-but-now-amusing way Nintendo carefully worked around Americans' anxiety about video games with their focus on R.O.B. And, unfortunately, this era also sees basically everyone but boys being phased out of the marketing--a decision that had some pretty big effects we're still feeling today. On this episode, join Bob Mackey, Jeremy Parish, Matthew Jay, and Henry Gilbert as the crew once again laughs at and learns from the history of video game ads. (Sadly, no George Plimpton this time.)
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello, everybody, and welcome to another episode of Retronauts Micro.
I am your host for this one, Bob Macky, and who is here with me today.
Hey, it's Henry. Hi.
So, everybody, this is our second part of our history of video game ads podcast.
The first part was in Retronauts Micro 87.
If you haven't listened to that, go back and listen to that one first because it sort of tells a whole narrative these two podcasts together.
And if you don't remember, I really needed a micro.
I had to go to Japan, so I split a main episode in half cleanly and neatly, very surgically.
So this episode, you guys might like it more, actually, because it does start with the Nintendo
era, and it moves on from there. And one of the key things I want you to look at with these ads,
and I don't know if we underline it enough in the episode itself, but watch as everybody
but boys, like teenage boys and little boys disappears from the marketing. It's very, very
interesting and also very sad. Yeah, it's sad. It's a clear conscious choice.
made by advertisers
to just be like, no, we sell these to boys now.
I think my
favorite one to laugh at in there,
just the ones that feature the mom
in it going, oh my, oh,
just in the background. She's watching the boys have fun.
Oh, my boy. At this point, the line
is drawn in the sand as to who video games
are for, and I find it very interesting. But yeah, these are all
fun ads. I think
doing this is a hoot, and I think there's even more
of space to do these on Retronauts, more
of these ads. So yes, please enjoy
the second half of the history of
video game ads.
We're going to start with Atari's campaign
Have You Played Atari today
Because lots of people were doing that
And one of these
The crash is about to happen, right?
This is 82, yeah
They're on the brink of explosion
But yeah, end of 82
Is Warner Brothers or Warner
Warner Entertainment saying
Holy crap
Yeah
But this ad is another of the
Sort of instructional variety
It has a very gentle voice
To tell you about Atari
But this is one of the most
outlandish cast
of a video game commercial from a modern-day perspective.
It's a little girl and an old man.
Vampire, you want to play Pac-Man?
Pac-Man, porcise.
I'll show you, Grandpa.
Pac-Man is a video game cartridge you have to buy separately
to play on the Atari video computer system.
Your parents hook it up to the TV.
Those are supposed to be the ghost after Pac-Me.
Watch out, Grandpa.
Stick with me. You'll get the hang of it.
This is the Atari Video Computer System.
Pac-Man and other video game cartridges.
or each sold separately.
That old man sounded just like Stan Lee.
Pac-Man, he wasn't one of the hair workers we created.
It's actually Mr. Hooper.
Mr. Hooper, who died on Sesame Street famously.
He told her about death.
I thought Bigford about Stephanie.
But, Henry, please.
No, well, what's interesting to me in this one is that it is another grandpa,
but the other grandpas before this were like,
I'm a hip grandpa.
I'm teaching you guys about it.
That it had the viewpoint of like,
If you're old, be hip by playing this game.
The viewpoint now is of the little girl, or it's for the kid.
I would think a kid watching this thing is, I'll be empowered because I'll be an expert
over something that my elders won't know about.
Finally, generational knowledge I can pass down.
The very gentle, like, it's called Atari, and you hook it up to your TV, and your parents
will help you, and you put the cartridge in this little slot.
See, it's fun.
Play loud, you little bastard.
Yeah.
But, I mean, it does show, I mean, another commercial we'll see later.
It will be like, finally, you can own your parents.
something. But yeah, like
again, multi-generational, front for the whole family
and showing how the
cartridge goes into the slot and people holding
the controllers and how it's a thing you hook up to your TV.
It's all the very basic knowledge
you need to know about a video game system. And that is
the point of that commercial, just to
let people know what a video game is and also tell them why they should
want it. Oh, but our next dad is actually the one
I was just talking about where it's like, finally
my parents can tell me what to do, but I can kick their ass
at Pac-Man. So I do like this out.
Another little girl, by the way.
If the girl knows that at the very start
Then why even begin
Trying to play games
Because kids always win
When you play
Play a game from Atari
And he's playing Atari today
Playing Atari games is one of the few things
The children almost always do better than grown-ups
Isn't that nice?
You can beat your parents and they'll love you for it.
They'll hug you.
Yeah, I don't know
Like, I heard Atari Pac-Man happening, so I'm going to say no one in that ad won.
No, no, the whole family lost.
But again, mom is playing, which is something that will not happen in the future.
But the little girls playing, they're all having a fun time.
But it's like, yeah, it's another, like, pitch of the kids, like, your parents push you around.
And now you're in charge.
A girl playing video games as well?
What a weird commercial.
It is so heartbreaking to me seeing the girls in these commercials.
Yeah.
Actually, like, she is costumed in the way of, like, she has on, like, a pink, uh, pink outfit, too.
She's got like a pigtails.
The pink tails, so, so girly.
Even when girls are in video game commercials a decade after this, they don't get to dress
girly.
Like, it cannot be too feminine.
Overalls.
Yeah.
Overalls in a t-shirt that's it.
Punky Brewster style.
So, you know, they're one of the guys.
They're trapped in a fridge.
Playing their Game Boy.
Best way to do it.
You can't play a game boy in a fridge.
It's too dark.
You turn the light on the fridge.
Like you tap the little light.
It's like inside of a dog.
It's before the penguin comes out and turns it off.
You have 12 minutes worth of air to play Tetris before it's all over.
Don't go into Fridge's kids.
Our next ad is actually, so I didn't want to include ads for games because we have so much to cover.
But this one is I find very interesting in that it's a barely animated cartoon.
I was talking to Henry, I was like, I think they just submitted their pitch for the ad and the Atari was like, oh, this is the ad.
This is the storyboards.
Yeah, it's basically the storyboards.
But I like it because it is like, this is how you play.
Play Pac-Man. Here's what Pac-Man is. Here's how you play. People are talking about Pac-Man? Well, it's this easy to figure out, and it's a song. It's not quite Pac-Man fever. In fact, it sucks, but we're going to hear it in a second here. First, the Pac-Man eats through a maze of dots. Then the Pac-Man heads for the corner spot. Then he eats his fill.
Of a power pill. And then all those ghosts turn blue. Boo! And Pac-Man eats them all too.
Have you played Pac-Man? It's the new video.
computer game everyone's talking
about. And naturally, it's from
Atari. Hank Venture. It's the Venture brother's playing it.
Have you played Atari today?
It's like I say, it's the new video
computer game. The kids can't
shut the fuck up about.
Yeah, it was like, all the rules of
Pac-Man are presented to you in that commercial, where
it's like, you get the dots, and then the ghost chased
you, and then you eat the power
pill, and then you can turn the tables, and this guy
sounds like he's doing a version of coming to America.
But by, like, 82, or 83, isn't
Pac-Man? Old news to people?
Like, don't they, they should know.
Only in the arcade.
Yeah, it's coming to a condom.
They might have heard of this Pac-Man fever, but they've never maybe never played.
That's how it's presented.
Like, have you heard of Pac-Man?
Well, this is how it works.
And you can play it in your home now.
I'm not surprised the Pac-Man is.
The hot sensation that all the kids are twerking about.
Pac-Man is central to all these commercials, and I get it, too, because they spent a lot of money to get Pac-Man on that Atari.
And that's why this ad is just storyboards, because they spend their entire budget wrapping up the license.
No actors.
Well, or on that song.
like after they got the bill for their license
song they're like we paid you how much
they're like it's on McLean
thanks for the things for the song now we're broke
God
so our next ad is for the Colico Vision
it's called the Arcade Experience
and it's one of the first ads where
of course Pac-Man is an arcade game
but in this ad they're actually acknowledging
the arcade which again
it had certain connotations back then
that might be lost the time now where it's like
it was a den of sin and villainy
where you bought drugs and smoked
weed cigarettes and things like that
but ate some weed
you put some cocaine in your eyes.
You just chugged weed, but...
But chug some weed.
But, yeah, this ad and our next ad
is like, the arcade comes home.
And I feel like all the other ads,
even though they're playing Pac-Man,
they're not like, have the arcade experience.
Like, they don't want to mention the word arcade
around a family playing games.
But here's the Klico version,
Clico Vision ad about the arcade.
You are the player,
and the arcade is the arena.
You focus your mind.
And propel yourself into a universe
where you're the master of your destiny
for as long as you can keep the trip going.
This is the arcade experience.
We're CalicoVision.
We bring the arcade experience home
with games like Donkey Kong with multiple screens,
arcade controls,
and arcade graphics that let you have the arcade experience at home
because your vision is our vision.
Calico Vision.
That was cool.
What's that?
That was cool.
Nothing says arcade games like Connecticut leather.
That's my opinion.
But, yeah, again, the families are slowly
being phased out of these commercials, but it is a young man and he's being the master of his
dominion or whatever they say in the commercial. Sorry, Jeremy.
Just, you know, when I think arcade experience, I think, like, cigarette smoke and weird
sticky soda residue on the machines and, like, older kids with mullets who hate you and are
going to give you a wedgy if you try to play their game.
Bring the bullying home.
And the stupid dragons layer machine that just won't shut up.
Oh, yeah, that is true.
That's not the experience I want to bring home.
They said arcade, like, 12 times and 30 seconds.
Yeah.
Though, maybe it's extra shocking.
Maybe it's extra impressive because we just watched the worst one that Pac-Man ad.
But they had real budget for this one.
Like, it's special effect.
Like, it's Star Wars type special effects of flying through the screen.
It's crazy, like, almost 3D animation.
Yeah.
I mean, it's very well done.
The Clikovision controller is almost as big as a Star Destroyer.
So it makes sense to have that thing flying into the screen at the beginning.
But again, we do have, despite all of the...
the high-tech visuals, we have a shot
of the cartridge going in, and there's also a close-up
shot of somebody operating that awful controller.
Like, it's terrible.
The arcades, you're not getting that awful controller.
That's one difference. Spungy buttons
and a telephone dial? Wow.
Disgusting. But, like, I looked at a lot of
Calico Vision ads, and they are all about the arcade
experience. Like, they are very focused
on that. And so
we have another, we have another attack ad. First, it
was George Plimpton doing the attacking, and now
the Atari 5200 is doing
the attacking against Calico Vision.
So this is like a rock paper scissors thing, right?
So now Calico needs to attack in television and we're good.
Yeah, I think it was because...
It's like Fire Emblem.
So CalicoVision, they made an adapter so you could play Atari 2,600 games on their system.
It almost seems illegal.
I mean, I guess it's not illegal, right?
It was the nice legal.
They reverse engineer the common parts that were made that were used to make the Atari 2600.
And yeah.
Yeah, so this ad is an attack ad, but it's also addressing consumer confusion where it's like,
this is the 5200 system that we have.
You can't play this on KalikoVision.
We're going to show you a cartridge failing to go into a slot.
It's almost sexual with how it's played out.
But let's listen to it.
It's pretty fun.
If you think Colicovision plays all Atari cartridges.
You mean it can't?
Here's Pac-Man on Kalikovision.
But here's Pac-Man for the Atari 5200 super system.
Now you're talking.
And it doesn't work on Kalikovision.
But won't their adapter?
It won't play supersystem cartridges.
Not pole position?
Not this pole position
Not this centipede
Only on the Atari 5200 super system
But aren't they hard to find
They're everywhere
Everywhere
The Atari 5200 super system
We can't sell them
They're everywhere
They'll never get rid of
I like that the ad was narrated by Turbo
From record Ralph
You'll never be able to play an Atari game
On a Kaliko vision
I thought it was like Larry Bud Melman or something
Now that we're in the 80s
But yeah again
Nerd with his hot stuff
But there's like, you can't play these games on anything but the Atari.
No, you can't.
You have to have an Atari.
Smart of them to show the 5200 version of Pac-Man versus the 2,600 games.
Yes.
But again, like, this was necessary.
There are not ads like, I can't play, what, God of War on my Xbox One.
Why not?
It's like, it won't fit.
It won't fit in the tray.
The numbers, the ones and zeros won't go inside.
You can't play this on the PS4.
You do still need explanations of what console exclusives are.
to people.
Yeah, yeah.
But I want to play Bayonetta 2 on my PS4.
Too bad.
I, though this also, this shows me what, how shitty the market had gotten in this
point that they have to be like, well, okay, so 5200, what is that?
Is that a 2,600?
It's the super system.
What, which one is it?
You can't do that either?
What?
Like, if you need to answer that many questions in a commercial, you have a complicated
product.
Wait, what is it?
Is it some sort of a toaster?
I think that kid might have been a young.
Fred Stoller.
Oh, my God.
He looked in Santa just like him.
The hot dog guy, did.
So it's amazing we've gone through an hour of the show without hitting an NES ad, but now it's Jeremy's time to shine where we know.
That's right, because I'm a video robot who lives in an egg.
You are.
You just came out of the egg for this podcast.
We appreciate it.
But so we all, we've talked about plenty on the show.
There was a video game crash in 83.
Nintendo, in order to be successful, I had to position this as a toy.
And so I knew this always, but I never really saw these ads with that in my.
So it's amazing to see how many of these ads are built around gyramite.
And Super Meyer Brothers is just like, that's also a thing.
But gyramite guys, look at this thing.
There's that Donkey Kong guy.
But look, a video robot.
But this is the first NES ad, I believe, on record.
Let's hear it from 1985.
Will you be the one to witness the birth of the incredible Nintendo entertainment system?
The one to play with Rob, the extraordinary video robot, batteries not included.
He helps you tackle even the toughest challenge.
Will you be the first to raise the first to raise the game?
incredibly accurate Zapper and play games like Duck Hunt or action-packed Hogan's Alley and
high-flying Kung Fu each sold separately. Will you be the one to experience the Nintendo
Entertainment System comes with Rob, Zapper, Control Deck, two controllers, Giromite, and Duck Hunt.
The only non-accessory-based game is Kung Fu in that commercial. It's all about Giromite
and Duck Hunt and Hogan's Alley. Mario is not even seen in this video at all. Maybe they didn't
know. Yeah, we didn't know. I mean...
mascot, yeah. If you, well, no, if you, if this actually accompanied the NES launch, the
soft launch in New York City and October of 1985 or thereabouts, Super Mario Brothers didn't
launch in Japan until September of 95, the month before that. This commercial would have been
in production long before that. You're right. And there was some debate for a while, like
did Mario actually launch at, you know, at the soft launch? And I think, you know, people like
Frank Sefaldi eventually pegged it and said, yes, it did. But I,
It may have been sort of a last-minute addition to the lineup.
So it's possible that, you know, the most impressive-looking game in that initial launch lineup
wasn't slated to be released when it came out.
I buy that totally.
And one of the things about this commercial we're going to see from here on out, it's like, okay, it's just little boys.
We're not going to show cartridges because we don't want to, we don't want you to think this is a video game.
But it's also not, it's hard to show a Nintendo cartridge going in.
And, like, it's more involved.
It's not just like a chunk, you know, putting it down.
Yeah, I mean, they liked it not being Kachunk because then it further made it different from an Atari or a Kaliko Vision.
Your game pack is like a VHS cassette.
It's video experiences.
It's a game pack.
I knew Rob was pushed so hard as like it's our Teddy Rucks bin.
But also the gun, I didn't realize the Zapper was pushed so hard even from the start.
Like the incredibly accurate because they were probably used to people.
people thinking like, well, yeah, it's a light gun, it's probably shit.
Like, this doesn't really...
Yeah, I mean, light gun games existed before that at home.
The Telstar, you know, from Colico that we saw earlier, that had a variant called the...
Oh, crap.
Jim and I, I think, that had a light gun with it.
But they weren't as good as the technology that Nintendo came up with.
And that Odyssey commercial had Dad shooting ducks or whatever.
Right. Yeah, so there was that version of Duck Hunt.
But here's another early NES ad, again, almost entirely built on the shoulders of gyramite.
on the shoulders of giants.
And Super Mario Brothers is mentioned,
but it's also called an arcade hits,
which is bizarre.
But it is sort of like an also-ran
compared to the Titans
known as Giramite and Duck Hunts.
Let's hear it.
When you get hold of the Nintendo Entertainment System,
when you master Rob, the video robot,
master him.
And meet the challenge of Giromites.
When you shoot the light-sensing Zapper,
when you play the stuff,
system with so many arcade hits.
You're playing with power.
The Nintendo Entertainment System Deluxe set.
Batteries not include, Super Mario Brothers, and other games sold separately.
Nintendo Entertainment System will take you on the highway into the danger zone.
They even show, like, the screen reflected in Rob's eyes, as if from Rob's POV, you're playing with Rob.
Like, he's there with you playing the game.
He's your buddy.
No, I mean, that literally is how Rob games are played.
You can very easily play Giro mite with just two controllers.
And that game is a breeze.
Like, the challenge is making Rob actually function correctly and giving him the guidance.
It's like your little sister.
You're incredibly not intelligent friend that you have to guide through a video game experience.
And this kid that's like, you're playing with power.
And it's like the He-Man thing.
Yeah, he's like flexing.
He's wearing like a red, like, rugby shirt that's tucked into his jeans.
And he's got like Courtney Cox's hair from the music video.
It's an odd image.
He's like the dorkeiest kid doing that, bam, like lightning's flashing behind him.
But only, it's only a little.
boy there's no little girls or moms or dads it's very much the i mean this is after transformers
he man all those toys have made it clear like these are for boys and this is how you sell things to
boys yeah boys don't feel strong enough they want to feel the strongest and finally nintendo
will give them that straight you could master rob and conquer gyramite i want to what like i dominates
this makes me think about how um you know video games uh from this era onwards are very much gendered towards men like
Like this is a product for little boys and men.
Was this a chicken egg thing?
Did, like, Nintendo invent this sort of marketing?
Or was it, like, move shifting that way on its own?
I think it was shifting that way.
Like Henry said, you know, you had toys like He-Man and stuff that were very, very strongly gendered.
Like, hey, there's the Labia pink aisle over here where you get your Barbie.
Is that a creola color?
That is, yeah, actually.
Discontinued.
It's button-shaped.
So, yeah.
So, like, this is just a continuing.
of that line of marketing.
Nintendo just jumped right on it and said, yeah, we're going to do that.
I mean, when you market toys, you market it specifically to one gender or the other.
Like, they've talked to, I remember Paul Dini said this about some animated show he was working on it.
Its real point was to sell toys that even if he wrote a good, he wanted to write in, like, say,
a strong female character in quotes, that they just reply with like, well, number one, if a kid sees this,
they'll be scared off by this strong girl.
and then they won't buy toys
or we're not going to make a toy out of this girl
because the boy's not going to buy girls toys
and it's just that's how
that's how just the sexism
but the executives would even take the stance of like hey
it's not our fault boys just won't buy this stuff
so we're not going to spend money on it
it makes me feel kind of guilty of all the girls
that were made to feel shame about enjoying these things
or that were denied the opportunity
to have fun with these things just because of marketing
and other forces like that
and then the marketing tells impressionable boys
to yell at girls and say this is for boys
It's going to all your girl stuff, girl.
I mean, it could be just implicit in that in these commercials,
all you see are boys playing the game,
so that puts the message in your head, like, yes, this is a boy thing.
Like, kids are very impressionable like that.
Our next ad is the Atari's Triumphant, We're Not Dead ad,
in which it's like, hey, Nintendo's great, but you know what?
We're a cheap date, and you'll get some, buddy.
So this is Atari's, the fun is backed.
It never left, everybody.
The fun's back.
is back as you can see with the 2600 from Atari still under 50 bucks but wait there's more
there's a stock of new games at the video store and he's popping and rocking the action's rough
if you're gonna make it you got to be tough midnight magic is an arcade blast like a pinball wizard
you got to be fast
I think of Solaris
To protect your base
Then blast off in the hyperspace
The party is back
Oh yes sir
I'm new 2600 games from Atari
I think my family took advantage
Of the fun being back
We're also poor
Before I got an NES
We did have an Atari
And I think it was because it was under 50 bucks
Well and that that rap really spoke to your parents
Oh yeah like
This is this black guy being done by a white guy
That doesn't point honey
I mean they guys at least
Dancing hard
I like
I think in 86 or 87
But a wrapping commercial feels like new and fresh then.
I mean, even Rappin Fats Piscopo hadn't started selling Miller Light.
So they were way ahead of the curve.
And even Barney Rubble wasn't rapping yet, right?
But I love how cheap that commercial is, too, compared to the Nintendo Power ones, too.
It's just like we got one dancer, we got a background, that's it.
We got a TV.
Yeah, and a TV.
They had to borrow it.
Also, they have to remind you, like, there's new games, too.
We know this is a decade-old console, but we got new games.
We made Double Dragon for this, and we shouldn't have, but we did it.
And I guess you could play it.
Here's another early NES ad from, I believe, at 86.
I grabbed this one because it's the only NES commercial I could find in which the parents are getting in the fun.
Of course, mom is not playing.
She's being supportive in the background.
But I feel like, so now it's even just like, it's not just girls don't play video games.
It's also like, no, parents, after this point, it's like, your parents suck.
This is a stuff for, these are for young people.
And I feel like the parents are being phased out,
even though plenty of parents played Nintendo.
My parents played Nintendo.
Oh, my mom did it so.
So let's hear this ad.
You get to the dynamite before it explodes.
Will you be the first to raise the incredibly accurate zapper
and play games like Duck Hunt and Hogan's Alley?
The first to build a library of game packs like Kung Fu, golf,
even games like Excite bike that you program yourself.
Will you be the first to get all this in one package?
The Nintendo Entertainment System.
The first to move video action off.
The TV screen
So that was that
And mom is in the background
Like, oh, you man
You're having fun
I'm gonna go bake something
Her husband Kurt Branoller
Is playing that thing real hard
It's true
It reminds me of the great
S&L series of parody commercials
Like my boys
My hungry boys
She just does like even the same
It's 30 years ago
And it's still the same headbob
Like oh you guys
She's having fun
As the only person here
Who's not
Watching these videos
because the computer's facing away from me.
And Henry, who's sitting next to me, is watching on his phone.
I'm just hearing, like, I'm just getting the soundscape.
And it's really interesting how there is this hard demarcation of the soundscape
in these ads beginning with the NES.
You go from, like, you know, warbly analog synths and kind of re-recorders and stuff
like that with the Atari and in televisions to all of a sudden you have, like,
this very aggressive slap base and, like, you know, like,
Highway to the danger zone was that previous any ad.
And that one was almost more like, I don't know.
Like, it definitely has a harder edge to it, a more aggressive feel to it.
Yeah, I can see that being part of it, like part of the male-focused thing.
Yeah, I don't know if you notice as much when you're watching the games, but when you're just listening to these commercials, you're like, man, like, it got really sharp and really forceful all of a sudden.
Yeah, I can see that.
I neglected that because they're just so much fun to watch.
But, yeah, even the music.
I think they sampled those commercial slap bass lines as like...
For Seinfeld?
No, for like the one of the default instrument samples in the Super NES.
It sounds like that.
It does.
Oh, the last thing, the gender politics of that video, not even a little sister.
It's a little brother in it too.
Like, not one girl can touch this.
She's not allowed to look at the TV.
She was sat in the corner with her dolls and told to enjoy them.
Brush their hair.
We'll play, I'm mastering driver in my...
Right. Our next ad is the first Sega ad, and it's possibly the only one they made about that's not about attacking Nintendo, but they do say it has twice the blank. But they don't say what it has twice the... They're not saying what they're comparing it to. They just say twice the blank. But I feel like after this, the gloves were off. So here's the first Sega ad.
Late in the 20th century, terminal bored of travel upon the land. The maker looked down and said, this is not good. And so it was. He brought forth Genesis.
system with twice the power, twice the challenge, twice the ton, with high-definition graphics
and studio sound.
And the maker saw that he had done and said, now that, that's not bad.
Discovered Genesis.
And your world will never be the same.
So this commercial, I recommend you watch all these too.
They'll all be on the blog.
But everyone is like kind of slaving away at these ancient computers, but this kid walks
up to the pedestal to play Genesis.
I feel like if they had that, you know, attack Nintendo philosophy early,
they'd all be showing Nintendo games where the kids would be slaving over gross Nintendo's.
Yeah, they would be bored out of their heads.
And they're all boys, by the way, again.
All boys, all boys.
But that the, knowing from the background on this is like they, in America,
they didn't know how to sell the Genesis because they're like,
well, we don't have any famous characters in this.
And they just gave us, they gave us altered beast, which is not a system cell.
but it was supposed to be.
And so, like, they barely show you Alter Beast in that.
They're just, like, vague, good games.
And I think, too, when they get to the part where it's like, now you're playing with power,
they go, he thinks, you know, that's not bad.
Like, no, people should not be leaving this thing.
That's not bad.
Pretty, pretty.
It's really underselling your thing to be to sell as hard as possible at people.
Like the most cromulent gaming system out there.
So here's our next ad for Genesis.
We're still in the 80s, by the way.
We're going to get to the 90s very soon.
But Sega now is immediately attacking Nintendo.
So before George Plimpton and others would be like,
this just looks better and it plays better.
But now they're being like mean-spirited.
It might be one of the most famous ones for my generation.
Genesis does.
16-bit arcade graphics.
We can't do this on Nintendo.
Genesis does.
16-bit sports action.
We can't do this on Nintendo.
Genesis does.
Dunnets
Does
Genesis does
Get Joe Montana free
Pat Riley free
Buster Douglas free
Super Monaco GP free or Collins free
What Nintendo don't
Buy a 16-bit Genesis system
between now and October 31st
And get an extra game
So yeah Genesis does what Nintendo don't
In the future they would just straight up
show you footage of Nintendo games
or Mario World
But this time it's just like
Take our word for it
We're better
That's got a little more teeth to it
And also that
That program is them
saying like, okay, you do get Altered Beast
when you buy this. We're not selling this on Altered
Beast. You get a better game with
it too. But this is another
aspect that, not just of them going
straight for Nintendo, but celebrities.
They're like, here's Michael
Jackson, here's Joe Montana, here's
Pat Riley. Yeah, this is like
it's pre-Sonic and they're desperately trying
to find some kind of personality
to attach to this thing. So they like
do all of those deals with those
people. Michael Jackson and Joe Montana,
there were a few people more famous than that.
I mean, I knew of them through, well, Mike Tyson threw Mike Tyson's punchout,
but everyone else is just like, oh, you're Tommy LaSorda, you're in a Sega game,
and Buster Douglas, you're in a Sega game.
Yeah, Buster Douglas is about to screw up that deal real bad.
Totally.
He is a falling star real fast.
He was a very lucky man to beat Mike Tyson on an off day,
and then nothing went well for Buster Douglas after that.
But I think we're now beyond the idea of having to show a cartridge going into a thing.
Like, they avoid that completely.
there's no close-ups on hands using controllers.
Even the early Nintendo ads had like a close-up on hands,
like weirdly holding a control in the way that no one actually does.
It's like this instead of like that.
Yeah, with a thumb on the start button, not A or B.
It's really weird.
But, well, because in this one, especially since it's all the players,
it's all the stars, they're not going to be playing games.
Like, they couldn't even get Pat Riley to say words.
He's just like, maybe just throwing up a hand.
Like, I guess you're seeing him doing his job of coaching.
And having slick back hair.
Yeah, I don't even think, did they even shoot that footage, or is that just, like, taken out of a game?
No, I mean, the NBA would not let them film a game.
Yeah, what's the express written support for national.
They're all the thing they say is.
Yes, that's what I meant.
Whoa, hang on. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Oh, hang on. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Oh, it's another ad. Time to hit fast forward. But this once, can I impose on you to hear me out?
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So our final section is the 90s, everybody.
I'm alive.
Yes, Matthew has entered the world.
We're all very happy about that.
But this is the height of the console wars and an age of much meaner ads.
So Sega, they really took this and ran with it.
Their ads were hip, 90s style, like MTV style edited,
commercials with rude jokes
and crude behavior and all that
good stuff. Nintendo would eventually
kind of do the same thing in an embarrassing
way, but they were kind of stalwart
in their philosophy of
we don't acknowledge the competition. Like Sega
does not exist. We're too good for this. I don't need to.
And we found out in our
controversial John
Stossel micro from five years ago, I'm still
living in the shadow of that podcast
that pushed away all of Retronauts fans and caused us to lose all of our money.
But you'll remember that those
were puff pieces for Nintendo in that
nothing else was named. Like, there was
no mention of any other
existing video games. So Nintendo
was, that's what they did. They're like, we are
Nintendo and nothing else exists. And also,
despite the name of the company, they put a very
white face on it to be
like, if you're scared of Japan,
taking over America, nope.
Look at all these white people to work for Nintendo.
I mean, it's a
Japanese name. Look at the white guy.
Like I said, a bow tie. It makes an extra
white. So let's move on to the
first ad, and I don't have a lot of these from the 90s.
The funny thing is, like, because of how ads changed, a lot of these ads are just all
visual, like, montages with, like, of course, you get your stock footage of the Hindenburg
and that bridge shaking and the guy being hit with the cannonball.
Like, anything on 120 minutes on MTV, they would just stick into any kind of stock footage,
you know, so here's the first Super Nintendo ad.
It's Paul Rudd enjoying Super Nintendo and Tony Jay is narrating.
And it's an odd throwback in that, I think this is like an exception to the rule in that,
we, or it's like, it's an odd exception in that we do get the footage of cartridges going
into a thing.
But it's taking place in this like abandoned parking lot.
It feels like the continuation of playing with power.
Like it doesn't feel, it doesn't feel new.
It just feels like, yeah, we're playing with power still, but now you're Paul Rudd.
And now it's super power.
But it's Paul Rudd.
He's the star of the show.
But there's a bunch of silhouettes of people who are joining them and they're all men.
So we totally understand who's playing these games and who they're intended for by the marketing.
When you decide to step up to this kind of power, this kind of challenge, this kind of flying, flashing, feeling, when you decide to get serious, there's only one place to come, the games of Super Nintendo.
No one else creates this kind of experience because no one else creates these kinds of games.
Now you're playing with power, superpower.
I do like the subtitled New Zelda in Football to come.
Now, they're not naming anyone by name, but definitely by saying no one else creates this, no one else does this.
They clearly mean turbographics.
Yes.
I mean, there were lots of challengers, and it's just, it's the Nintendo difference is what they're talking up there, too, in general.
Yeah.
But it's too austere.
Like, it's not exciting enough.
It's more about awe-inspiring.
Like, look at this game off F Zero.
Wow.
Pretty wild.
Yeah, I think...
Amazes Paul Rudd.
It amaze you too.
Wait until clueless, everybody.
He's going to break out.
But I think the footage of cartridges being inserted is not instructional, but it's
there just for impact because it's like, boom.
And you see the footage on the screen.
It's a cool, action-y, yeah, like a bam thing to do.
Also, the NES didn't have cartridges that you inserted like that.
So it is kind of saying, like, it's different.
But it opens with Paul Rudd, like slam dunking a Mario cartridge in the slot,
like just slamming it down.
So yeah, I love that.
So our next ad is like,
very odd.
It's a man in drag playing a woman who is from the group hag.
So again, maybe we can see how gamers feel about women.
It's being informed by some of this marketing.
So in case you were wondering,
Mario is for ugly women who look like men, I guess.
That's what this ad is telling us.
And let's hear about this character talking about Sonic
and how she finds him distasteful.
Donita Stokes, President of Hagg.
It's bad enough that Sega Genesis has the most 16-bit games, but this new Sonic the Hedgehog...
Oh, he really dust my doilies!
They say he's incredibly fast.
Well, what's the hurry, mister?
Hmm?
And about his attitude.
Smarty pants!
Why can't it be more like that nice for Mario?
Woo! Oh!
Woo!
Little brat!
Now, get Sonic free when you buy a Sega Genesis system at its new price of $14999.
Yeah, that is, I mean, I get that they were going for a church lady thing.
Yes, exactly.
That's like super Dana Carvey.
Like that was this time and her cadences and little things she says.
Like very church lady, but yeah.
And Mav, right?
Was Mav a thing yet?
Mavs against violent video games?
I don't know about that, but there's Mugged driving.
Yeah.
But man, hagg.
It's just right next to her.
They're like, hag.
They could have just called it bitch or something like that because that's what they're saying.
There was also bad.
thothered against Dungeons and Dragons.
That was a thing back then.
But it is sort of saying, I mean, again, we're reading a lot into this, but that's what
we're doing on this podcast.
It's like, women are the enemy.
Adults are the enemy.
It's really narrowing down the focus.
Like, young men, you, these are things for you, and this adult lady hates them.
Well, your teacher would hate Mario and tell you to play, to not, or your teacher would
hate Sonic and tell you to play Mario, because she would like Mario, because he's old and
boring.
It's so bizarre to, if I meet or talk to women who are in their 20s, I think they grew up without this shame because, like, a lot of them play games.
I'm like, wait a minute, women don't play games like this.
Like, you didn't, did you not, like, maybe in the early 2000s, there was not that shame for little girls to be into games with like Pokemon was existing and, you know.
Pokemon opened more doors perhaps, yeah, but the goddamn, man, this, beyond the sexual politics of it, I would say that it at least advertises well, like, they got Sonic, they know,
Oh, it's a system seller, and they got to push it hard.
They got to pack it in, let people know, like, you get this with the Genesis.
You're going to buy this.
You get Sonic and a Genesis for less than you get for Super N.E.S.
And it's so much more cool, like that.
They had very clear desire of what they wanted to say with this commercial, beyond that women are ugly.
Or ugly women hate Mario.
No, they love Mario, so you shouldn't like him.
So get this.
So the thing I was thinking was Mavav.
mothers against video
mothers against violence and video games
and it was
mothers against video game addiction and violence
and it was a fake thing
made up by a college student
that tricked a bunch of people
on the internet in the early 2000s
and there was even a penny arcade strip about it
Oh oh wow I had no idea about this
M-V-V-V-M-A-V-V
I would just think that that's such a clumsy
acronym or whatever
I thought that back in the day when I first heard about it
but I never followed up on it
and found out that it was a thought experiment
by a college student. That's cool. I guess it worked.
So we only have a few more ads to play here.
And this is another one where Sega's attacking Mario,
specifically Mario World. And
it's basically putting both of the games
side by side, which is pretty interesting.
We're going back to the Plimpton era of destroying
your competition.
Got to go.
Hey, guy, you're the first serious gamer I've seen it all morning.
Check this out. Brand new 16-bit
Super Nintendo is Super Mario World. Wow!
What's this one?
Oh, this is Sonic the Hedgehog from Sega Genesis.
Look at these radical colors, huh?
Wow, Sonic's fast, too.
No, over here.
I like Genesis.
And it costs a lot less.
We kid, that game there.
I'll take Sonic and Genesis.
I knew that.
Sonic the Hedgehog.
More action, more speed.
Sega Genesis.
It's a whole lot more for less.
I know it's being played for humor, but the idea of a salesman helping you buy a video game is also funny.
Which one should I get, mister?
Yeah, but again, the salesman's not wrong.
I'm on his side, because I was that salesman at my GameStop.
Like, this is the game you want.
want, the one that I like.
Does he get more commission from that or something?
What's he so, doesn't it not matter what money buy?
He probably just likes better games. I guess.
He could get more commission.
I didn't care when I was shopping, when I was working at GameStop,
buy whatever you want. I get paid the same.
So I, I'm not watching this video, but I know this ad very well, having referenced it
and used it in my projects.
I've seen any videos, yeah.
Yeah, and this one's interesting because it's shot from a first person perspective.
You are the prospective customer, and the camera keeps like, even though it's,
kind of being forced toward Mario.
It keeps gravitating toward the Sonic.
So it's actually, I think it's a really clever
and effective advertisement.
I think so, yeah.
I think it really stands out.
It's shot in a different way,
and it's not a montage.
It's a continuous shot.
So it kind of goes back, like you said,
to the days of Atari,
where it wasn't just like a montage of super flashy,
crazy stuff.
It was a narrative.
And it really puts the audience into the shoes
of the character who is in the ad.
I think it's a really good app.
I mean, a lot of teens had to make that choice at the time.
So I bet a lot of them were thinking about, like, which one of these things do I want?
When you see a $50 difference, it's hard to say no.
It's a lot of money to a teenager in 1991.
And, you know, the salesman here isn't necessarily representing a salesman.
It's representing anyone who would influence your buying decision, like parents who would be like,
well, you know, you already owned a Nintendo system.
Don't you want to get more Nintendo games?
Whereas, you know, saying, like, uh, the adult.
don't get it.
This is the new cool thing.
You as a kid understand you're tuned in.
That's right.
Yeah.
It's more of the like don't trust adults, everybody.
Yeah.
They don't know about video games like you.
I think, too, there is an implicit suggestion that this guy can't sell super
NES and no one's buying him.
And that's why he's going so hard sell on them like he's car salesman, especially the
line in the end was like, of course you'd say, all right, like I knew you'd say that.
I'm just like, you're the 80th dude today who's, I can't sell.
sell a Super Niesto. He wants these shitty Nintendo's.
Who would want a game like Super Mario World?
So it's weird. He says, like, look at the colors.
That also really infantilizes a Mario game, too.
Like, it's got colors.
Sonic is incredibly colorful.
Yeah, ignore this adorable anime hedgehog.
He's fast.
Like, it's not that fast kid.
Our next ad is an attack against Jeremy Parrish himself because
I'm saying to this more than once, it's like,
not only is our competition bad, if you like it, you're an idiot.
You're a moron.
You're dumber than a dog.
We hate you.
want you to die. I'm not the only person who likes Nintendo here.
Well, I'm just saying you are the guy with Game Boy World.
Oh, yeah. So it's the tech against you.
Works, works. Works. Sorry, works. I'm sorry.
I forgot about the rebranding.
But this is an ad that's saying
Game Gear is awesome. Game Boy is garbage.
And if you like it, you're like this dumb hillbilly family that eats things out of jars.
And let's hear it.
They're not wrong.
Some people are content to be entertained by simple one-color electronics.
somehow these people have just never heard of game gear
the multi-color portable from Sega
with tons of new titles
yeah some people are like that
but then some people like to eat pickled porklips
I mean I did move to the south
that's true
yeah for the pickled pork lips
local delicacy
the visuals of that of that commercial are
It's like a Texas Chainsaw Massacre family watching bugs flying to a zapper, and at the end, the dead bug spell out welcome to the next level.
It's very, very, it's super, it's so Sega.
It's all green and gross, and everyone's wearing, like, undershirts.
Yeah, it's not, it's not very savory.
Also, the angle on that Game Boy has never made the screen look any better.
Like, it looks so bad.
And they're playing, yeah.
And they're playing, like, the first Game Boy game on it, too.
It's like, only Tetris exists, apparently.
Yeah, I guess you're limited.
that. So these types of ads did
get me as a 10 year old because
I was like, well, yeah, color is
better. I don't like pickled pig lips.
What the hell? I already owned a Game Boy,
so it was just getting a Game Gear on top
of that because I could just ask for that
for my birthday, get it.
I couldn't even get a Game Boy, geez.
But once I got it, I was
disappointed. And I did look this gift horse in
the mouth when I got a free game gear.
But I mean, it's the one thing
they don't show in that commercial is like some people
also like things that run on batteries
for longer than two hours. I think that hillbilly
family was too poor to keep up with all the battery
expenses. Actually with this ad,
I think of another one that's
there's a, it's the
Woe Color ad where Ethan Suppley
a young Ethan Suppley
is playing. I was thinking that guy looks like him.
And he has to smash
himself in the head with a dead squirrel
to see colors while playing on the Game Boy.
Yeah, man, they were extra cool about
the Game Boy. But our final ad
is, so Nintendo, there are a lot of
online, but most of them are super visual because
they're disgusting. The Play-It-Loud era for
Nintendo. The N-W-A era.
Uh, what? Nintendo with attitude.
Okay, I thought we're headed on a different road here.
But, so they wanted to be hipper
and, like, appeal to Jaded Gen Xers and be like, this is the
new generation of playing, rebel against
society, everybody. Like, they were just, rebel
in non-specific ways. You know, be cool
skateboard. The butthole surfers
are going to play a song during this commercial. They're fun.
Rebell by consuming. Exactly.
Rebell by buying products at a store.
They're fell by swearing fealty to a corporation.
Exactly.
Choose the corporation you like the best and then attack people online if they don't like it as much as you.
And this is one of the play-at-loud ads.
And like I said, go online, look them all up.
They're Nintendo's answer to the Sega attack ads, but they do not acknowledge Sega in any way.
I think it's every parent's dream maybe to have a doctor in the family.
They can't hear you.
Fight earwax.
Crank it.
Play it loud
I don't care
You heard
Play it loud
Just a montage
But it's like again
It's a mom
And it's a dad
And they're wrong
So try hard man
God damn
No I mean
They're called butthole surfers
Come on
Nintendo's is a
shaking in their boots so they're not cool anymore
but then it just feels like they're trying
to be as cool as Genesis.
Yeah. And it would be
PlayStation that would finally like really
jump this with you are
not ready but this is just
not it tried too hard. Same of like
there's a killer instinct commercial
that's the same deal except they're going to wash their
mouths out with soap. These kids are swearing
so much in this game. Yeah you're right
and also like okay so the final thing I'll
talk about is like the Yoshi's Island commercial
where it's we talk about it several times but
It must be, I watched it again today, and I was shocked because.
I can't believe it.
Mr. Creeasote.
Exactly.
They rip off the meaning of life scene like 100%.
And it's just as graphic.
Like, the guy explodes in his insides hit everybody in the restaurant where
Yoshi's Island is the cutest, most colorful fun game in the world.
It's the nicest game ever.
Here's the world's fattest man just shoving food in his face and his guts explode all over everybody.
They check out this game drawn in crayon.
It's so bad.
Yeah.
They did not know what to do.
It's funny to see them do
commercials like that with Yoshi and Kirby
and like try to make them edgy, but it's like
you're dealing with...
Samis did this.
Well, with Dragon, sorry, at least with Donkey Kong.
Like Donkey Kong's like a monkey with bananas.
So it's the easy,
the easy 90s extreme stuff fits it perfectly.
And they've got a funky con.
Yeah, I mean, they just have to go the TNC surf route.
Exactly.
There was a monkey surfing there with a tie.
That's easy.
All these commercials were done in funky mode.
And another, you know, another reason
and they needed to play it loud is because
it wasn't just that Sonic was cooler than Mario.
It was that
people knew
you got the wussier version
of Mortal Kombat on the
Superania ads. If you wanted blood in the
coolest game ever, you needed to play on the
Genesis. You weren't going to get it on Nintendo.
So they needed to
also really up that. That was a big point
of the, I know
in one of the Play It Loud ads,
they have Mortal Kombat 2 in there.
They got to be clear of like, it's got blood.
Okay. Yeah, we're going to show you the blood.
We didn't change it.
They would try a couple years later, too.
So the Play at Loud campaign for the Game Boy was like when they put all the colors in, right?
Like you got like the red and the green one.
They worked a little better.
Yeah, yeah.
But they also, when the Game Boy pocket came out, the next iteration of the Game Boy,
they brought back one commercial thing that we talked about earlier where it was still kind of that.
It was like cool punks in a mall with like their Jinko jeans.
And like they have big, big enough pockets to put it.
And then they're hassling some old people.
people, and they all guys like, I ought to hit you with this, and he pulls out his Game Boy Pocket, and they're all like, Game Boy Pocket, whoa! So they all kind of like come together to be cool together. Those playing loud ads were great because they could show you like, look how many colors. Game Boy comes in. The screen's still the same. Yeah. So that was our exploration of ads for consoles for the most part. I just want to ask everybody before we leave, like, how have ads changed? I feel that ads are just gameplay footage now or CGI trailers. They don't, they don't show people playing the games anymore.
These things are all thing of the past.
Like, any input on this question?
We don't even get Mad World anymore.
That's true.
Mad World or whatever.
Yeah, that overdone cover?
Yeah.
Yeah.
At best, I mean, yeah, you get the ads today.
Like, like, For God of War.
It's just, it's a, it's not even gameplay footage.
It's just a CGI short film.
Or like that Island.
That famous short film that is nothing like the game at all in terms of tone or anything.
TV commercials are for car.
insurance now.
That's true.
The general needs to talk to you.
If you see someone playing a game, usually the most recent major ones, I think of an
even recent, it's not the right word.
It's Nintendo, the DS and Wii era ones of like a celebrity is playing brain age.
There was the Switch.
You'd go to the rooftop party.
That's true.
The Switch was the one now, Liarwood's like, we need to show you how this works because it's
different than everything else.
And it showed it for everybody.
The cartridge going in.
Oh, yeah.
I think Grand Theft Auto, Vice City, changed everything because that was the commercial
that was like it was a flock of seagulls video it was iran and it was just footage of like sunsets and
stuff and then you know it was huge it was everywhere some game advertise you know like some cinema
scenes kind of interspiced but it was really it really tried to make the game look like a movie
more so than anything before that had you're right yeah it's like a movie trail and he used all
in-game footage and in-game music and all of a sudden like video game ads changed i i think
one of my last favorite runs of it even
I did get quite sick of it.
Was the Sony spokesman guy?
Yeah.
That it was, that Sony, it was such a smart pivot from originally the PlayStation
3 ads where this is the greatest God of you have a new Jesus now.
It's the PlayStation 3.
It will melt your face.
Then they needed, it was so self-serious and nobody was into it.
Then they needed to have a jokey pitchman who's like, I'm the, I'm the face.
Lake CEO of Sony. Hey, buddy, what's up?
Do you remember why he got fired?
He started an ad and with a Wii in it.
Yeah, he played a Wii on television.
I mean, his time was almost up at that point.
He did. Is Kevin, what was his name?
Butler.
Yeah.
I eventually got sick of it and kind of got very tired of, like, people who thought he was like, oh, what a cool guy.
It's like, it's a fucking commercial guy.
It was clever at best.
No, its worst one was, speaking of the gender stuff, and it was that there was the one about Franchard
2, which was like, my girl.
My girlfriend thinks it's a movie.
My stupid girlfriend won't let me play my video game.
She thinks she's people.
She thinks it's a 14-hour movie.
Now I can fool her and play a game.
Yes, thanks for joining us, folks, with our adventure through video game ads.
There's more material to cover.
I just wanted to grab, like, the console stuff, but I think I could do more episodes around this,
maybe a live show or two, who knows.
But I hope you enjoyed it.
And I've been your host, Bob Mackey.
And I'll tell you all about Retronauts and how it's funded and all that good stuff.
You can go to Patreon.com slash Retronauts.
And by the way, the show is entirely funded by that Patreon.
If you give it three bucks a month, that is a very popular tier.
You will get every episode a week ahead of time and at free at a higher bit rate.
And there are more tiers on top of that with more rewards.
So please support us.
It's not a lot.
You can just give a dollar a month if you want.
You won't get anything except for the satisfaction of helping your game bros.
Everybody else, where can we find you?
Let's start with Matthew.
I make a show on YouTube called Cartoons 101 at YouTube.com slash cartoons 101.
And it's also supported by a Patreon where you get a whole bonus podcast.
every week. The current through line of the show is I'm watching all of Neon Genesis
Evangelion with a series of cool internet guests like you guys. I talked to two of the guys
in the One Piece podcast, Dawn from the anime nostalgia podcast, Tristan Cooper from Dorkley,
Alex Frioli, who's been on this show, a bunch of cool people. And then I've also interviewed
cartoon creators like Bill Oakley from The Simpsons and Mission Hill. I'm going to talk to
Evan Dorkin soon. I'm going to talk to Dana Snyder. I interviewed Scott Gerdner, who was on
a podcast I love called Podcasts the Ride,
which you should also listen to.
And my Twitter is at Mr. Matt Jay.
Awesome.
Thank you. Jeremy, how about you?
You got some stuff going on.
Yeah, you can find me here at retronauts.com,
and I'm on Twitter as GameSpite.
And also, if you are interested in seeing
the history of Game Boy, not Game Gear,
all those monochrome games,
check out my YouTube series, Retronauts Video Works,
which also has a Patreon,
because, of course, that's Retro, or Patreon.
dot com slash game spite
and your support helps me track down
video games like complete Game Boy games
so that I can not only create videos about them
but also document them in print
and my goal by the time I'm 80
is to have done the entire run of Game Boy games
and create a total historic chronology
of that entire platform
and also NES and Super NES and Virtual Boy and Super graphics
and I don't know what else.
You'll need to remaster them all in 16K
in about 20 years so get ready for that.
Henry. Hey, I'm H.N.E.R.U.Y.G. on Twitter. And me and Bob do our own little podcasts as well.
We do Talking Simpsons, where we go through every episode of The Simpsons in Chronological Order deep into season seven now.
We also do What a Cartoon, where we take a different cartoon each week and analyze it in our same Simpsony form.
We play the clips. We talk about it. We laugh about it. It's a ton of fun.
And if you would like to support us on Patreon, you could get every episode a week early and ad free of both Talking Simpsons.
Simpsons and What a Cartoon.
And you get access to Talking Futurama, the entire first season of Futurama done in the Talking
Simpsons style.
Matt Jay and Jeremy have been on it as well as friends of the show of this show, Retronauts, Cat Bailey.
Give it a listen, folks.
It's at patreon.com slash Talking Simpsons or Talking Simpsons and What a Cartoon in your iTunes
and all that other stuff.
Thank you for listening, folks.
We'll see you soon with a brand new episode of Retronauts.
Goodbye.
Let's say you just bought a house.
Let's say you just bought a house.
Bad news is you're one step closer to becoming your parents.
You'll proudly mow the lawn.
Ask if anybody noticed you mowed the lawn.
Tell people to stay off the lawn, compare it to your neighbor's lawn,
and complain about having to mow the lawn again.
Good news is it's easy to bundle home and auto through Progressive
and save on your car insurance, which, of course, will go right into the lawn.
Progressive Casualty Insurance Company affiliates and other insurers.
Discount not available in all stages situations.
The Mueller Report.
I'm Ed Donahue with an AP News Minute.
President Trump was asked at the White House
if special counsel Robert Mueller's
Russia investigation report
should be released next week
when he will be out of town.
I guess from what I understand
that will be totally up to the Attorney General.
Maine Susan Collins says she would vote
for a congressional resolution disapproving
of President Trump's emergency declaration
to build a border wall,
becoming the first Republican senator to publicly back it.
In New York, the wounded supervisor
of a police detective killed by friendly fire
was among the mourners,
his funeral. Detective Brian Simonson was killed as officer started shooting at a robbery suspect
last week. Commissioner James O'Neill was among the speakers today at Simonson's funeral.
It's a tremendous way to bear knowing that your choices will directly affect the lives of others.
The cops like Brian don't shy away from it. It's the very foundation of who they are and what they do.
The robbery suspect and a man, police say acted as his lookout have been charged with murder.
I'm Ed Donahue.