Rev Left Radio - Disability Justice, Covid-19, and Black Lives Matter
Episode Date: June 5, 2020Lateef Mcleod joins Breht to discuss the role that disability justice plays in fighting white supremacy, capitalism, and the systemic crises that they inevitably give rise to. Find more of Lateef's ...work HERE Check out his podcast "Black Disabled Men Talk" HERE Find his books HERE Outro music 'Thought Process' by Goodie Mob LEARN MORE ABOUT REV LEFT RADIO: www.revolutionaryleftradio.com
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                                        Good evening, everyone. I am Lateef McLeod, a grad student in the anthropology and social change doctoral program at California Institute for Internal Studies and the vice president of the lead committee for the International Society for Augmented and Alternative Communication.
                                         
                                        I am a black man with a button-up shirt, beard, and a fade.
                                         
                                        I am here today to address the issue of COVID-19 and disability justice.
                                         
                                        If you give a preliminary look at both of these subjects,
                                         
                                        you would say that the two is pulling society in two opposite directions.
                                         
                                        There is COVID-19, a ruthless and deadly pandemic,
                                         
                                        who is mercilessly killing our loved ones,
                                         
                                        especially our disabled folks, poor, and black and brown people of color that in our communities.
                                         
    
                                        The virus is revealing how stark and harsh our hierarchies are in this society and the heartlessness in which our society deals with the most vulnerable in society.
                                         
                                        Then there is disability justice, which is a practice that advocates for a community where those that the society marginalized are the center of our movements.
                                         
                                        Through the words of Alice Wong, disability justice professes that access is love and is advocating for a world in which every single
                                         
                                        Everyone has what they need to live is sustainable and fulfilled life in a community that they choose.
                                         
                                        Now if you just glimpsed at the news in the last month, you have seen how hard this country has handled the COVID-19 crisis in the last month.
                                         
                                        Currently, there is still a lack of testing to determine who has the virus and need medical care.
                                         
                                        There are medical providers who are caring for the sick without proper personal protection
                                         
                                        equipment, PPE.
                                         
    
                                        There are people with disabilities who are in danger of being denied care because doctors
                                         
                                        might prioritize the care of an able-bodied people over them.
                                         
                                        People with complex communication needs that they had before COVID-19 or because COVID-19 are
                                         
                                        having child care providers so that they could help.
                                         
                                        direct their care. Also, in this country, there is not a unified message among our governmental
                                         
                                        leadership as to whether to open back up the country or to keep the shelter and place ordinances
                                         
                                        intact, which leaves Americans confused on what will happen next. All horrible and disastrous
                                         
                                        things that we have to deal with in the dystopian reality we currently live in. Now let us
                                         
    
                                        pose the question, how could the country handle the crisis differently if it was led by disability
                                         
                                        justice principles as the one stated in the sins invalid disability justice primer, skin, tooth, and bone.
                                         
                                        First, we can look at disability justice having an undecalist politic where medical care is not run on a
                                         
                                        profit margin, but is organized and is prepared for giving care to those who need it.
                                         
                                        Disability justice is looking for a medical care industry that does not ration care to those that doctors deem are more productive in society, namely temporary able-bodied people that the capitalists see as more valuable as workers.
                                         
                                        Disability justice proudly exclaims that everyone is valuable and that no one is disposable.
                                         
                                        Also because of the disability justice principle of leadership from the most impacted, we need to listen to the most.
                                         
                                        vulnerable in this crisis and both amplify their voices and make sure their needs are met.
                                         
    
                                        As a result, if we had more of a disability justice mindset, we would see more people
                                         
                                        getting access to care when they needed and no one being denied care.
                                         
                                        We would also have invested more in our medical healthcare system so that healthcare
                                         
                                        providers would have all the equipment and resources that need to take care of those who are sick.
                                         
                                        sick. Also, keeping in mind the most vulnerable to commutable diseases in this country, we should
                                         
                                        listen to scientists and health professionals for when it would be safe to venture out in public
                                         
                                        again. What the COVID-19 pandemic crisis also reveals is that to protect our lives, we need a
                                         
                                        society and an economy that values our lives and work for us. We do not need to sacrifice
                                         
    
                                        our lives and going to work to prop up the economy.
                                         
                                        The people who own the most capital wants the economy open again because they know that the
                                         
                                        economy, as it is constructed now, will benefit them and not us.
                                         
                                        As the lieutenant governor of Texas, Dan Patrick, clearly expressed, they would have us
                                         
                                        die to open back up the economy so that they can increase their wealth.
                                         
                                        We can also see this response mirrored in the capitalists who,
                                         
                                        these reactionary conservative activists to protest state and local governments to open up so we can all, supposedly, get back to work.
                                         
                                        This astine response may not make sense at first glance, but if you frame it in the Protestant work ethic and the myth of American capitalism, this reaction becomes predictable.
                                         
    
                                        For centuries, there has been a myth in this country that if you work hard and dedicate yourself to your goal as you will be prosperous.
                                         
                                        This myth was used to stigmatize those who were not prosperous as lazy and thus deserving of poverty and destitution, which included many people of color and disabled people.
                                         
                                        The stigmatization ultimately led the eugenics movement where capitalists tried to eradicate people of color and disabled people from the human genome.
                                         
                                        Thus we circle back today where many of our black and brown and disabled comrades are dying from this COVID-19 virus.
                                         
                                        and we have this very violent reactionary movements that are advocating for the economy to be open,
                                         
                                        so we can all die at a larger percentage.
                                         
                                        This should make us question of what is our relationship to work and is working is essentially
                                         
                                        so important that we should let many people die so that we can get back to doing labor.
                                         
    
                                        I thought we went to work to sustain our lives and those of our loved ones in our community.
                                         
                                        However, if we get back to work too quickly, we might have the opposite effect than we intended.
                                         
                                        So as I close, I want to say that the COVID-19 crisis has shown how a wider acceptance of a disability justice practice is sorely needed in this country.
                                         
                                        We should throw away the notion that everyone should be able to body in this society and construct the infrastructure needed to care for everyone.
                                         
                                        in this country, regardless of how their body or mind works.
                                         
                                        We need to shift the paradigm from how everyone can work for a living to thinking about how
                                         
                                        we can care for one another and meet each other's needs.
                                         
                                        There is several people with disabilities doing this work currently, and I will like to shout
                                         
    
                                        out the organization bad crips for the work they are doing in mutual aid.
                                         
                                        This priority's paradigm shift goes to addressing what society
                                         
                                        We want to continue to live as human beings.
                                         
                                        Do we want to continue to live in this capitalist society where everyone has to work to prove
                                         
                                        their worth to society?
                                         
                                        Or do we want to live in society where everyone has their needs met regardless of who they
                                         
                                        are in our free to realize their full potential?
                                         
                                        This is a question that we need to ask before the economy opens back up so that we can
                                         
    
                                        push society in the direction we want it to go when it does.
                                         
                                        I will leave it there and I thank you for your time.
                                         
                                        Hello everybody and welcome back to Rev Left Radio.
                                         
                                        Today we have back on the show, Lateef McLeod, to talk about disability justice, this pandemic, the uprisings going on all over this country.
                                         
                                        Before we get into the question, Latif, can you just introduce yourself and say a little bit about yourself for those who might not know who you are?
                                         
                                        Hello, Brett.
                                         
                                        Thank you for having me on your show again.
                                         
                                        I am Lateef McLeod.
                                         
    
                                        I am in the Ph.D. program in the anthropology and social change department at California Institute for Internal Studies.
                                         
                                        From my political views, I identify as a socially ecologist with a disability justice critique in forming my worldview.
                                         
                                        First and foremost, before we get into this conversation, I just want to ask, how are you holding up during this pandemic, this economic crisis, and just the general chaos going on right now?
                                         
                                        Well, I am doing better than most.
                                         
                                        I am fortunate that my immediate family, nor I did not come down with COVID-19, so I have
                                         
                                        been thankful for that.
                                         
                                        I think one of my family member contracted the illness, but that individual has since recovered.
                                         
                                        I have to thank God about that.
                                         
    
                                        However, the country's response to this pandemic has been atrocious.
                                         
                                        There is absolutely no excuse for this country, which says it is the powerful nation
                                         
                                        in the world and yet has the most corona deaths in the world.
                                         
                                        Something is not right there.
                                         
                                        We have a pro-profit health system that was not adequately prepared for this pandemic.
                                         
                                        It is a health system that was reformed by 40 years of neoliberal capitalism and letting
                                         
                                        the market decide our quality of health care.
                                         
                                        As a result, it was not profitable for manufacturer companies to produce ventilators, ensuring
                                         
    
                                        the shortage that we see today.
                                         
                                        This is personal for me because my sister is a doctor and my aunt and some of my cousins
                                         
                                        are nurses and I want them to have all the equipment and institutional support that they need
                                         
                                        so they can adequately protect themselves and take care of their patients during this pandemic.
                                         
                                        Also I lost a great friend of mine during this last week.
                                         
                                        Casey Park, Milburn.
                                         
                                        She was a stalwart in the disability justice community and helped form two influential disability
                                         
                                        justice organizations, bad crippling disability justice culture club and also really influential
                                         
    
                                        in another disability justice organization, since invalid.
                                         
                                        I and other members of the disability justice community are really burning this loss.
                                         
                                        I don't know if you can dedicate an interview to an individual.
                                         
                                        but if you can i want to dedicate this interview to stacey absolutely our heart goes out to to stacey
                                         
                                        that is so hard so much going on right now the loss the grief is piling up i'm glad that you're
                                         
                                        staying safe so far that your family is doing okay having so many members of your family on the
                                         
                                        front lines of the health crisis as nurses and doctors has to be you know completely anxiety
                                         
                                        inducing. So my heart is with you, absolutely, and that dedication is definitely noted and taken up
                                         
    
                                        with honor. So let's just talk about the challenges faced during this. So if we can dive a little
                                         
                                        deeper, what aspects of dealing with this pandemic and the subsequent economic crash have been
                                         
                                        most challenging to you personally? What is the most challenging for me during this pandemic
                                         
                                        is not being able to see a lot of my family and friends and be in close proximity with
                                         
                                        with each other like I did before the corona pandemic.
                                         
                                        I am a socially individual, so that bothers me the most.
                                         
                                        But organizing video conference calls with family
                                         
                                        and friends really keeps me connected to the community
                                         
    
                                        and lifts my spirits.
                                         
                                        I just worry about the disabled people
                                         
                                        that are more socially isolated than me.
                                         
                                        It must be a tough time for them.
                                         
                                        Because many people with disabilities
                                         
                                        go through isolation and neglect
                                         
                                        normal time and it must be worse now when everyone is stuck at home.
                                         
                                        Everyone is also on edge because of the economic crisis where many people are losing their
                                         
    
                                        jobs.
                                         
                                        So it is a really unstable time right now.
                                         
                                        However, what this pandemic shows is how this capitalist economy relies on workers staying
                                         
                                        well-enabled-bodied.
                                         
                                        If people get sick or disabled, it is seen as an individual problem that person and that person
                                         
                                        family as to deal with COVID-19, however, exposes this false reality because a pandemic, by definition,
                                         
                                        cannot be an individualized problem. It is a societal problem and needs a societal solution.
                                         
                                        We, as a society, need to come together and socially distance from each other until the infection
                                         
    
                                        curve goes down or when we find a vaccine. This would seem common sense. However,
                                         
                                        we have these protesters who want the whole country's economy to open back up so that they can get back to work.
                                         
                                        This will prove extremely dangerous to our society if more people get infected with COVID-19 and start dying at a higher rate.
                                         
                                        So this conception that these protesters have, which is fueled by right-wing media, is extremely short-sighted,
                                         
                                        but it shines a light on an aspect of our culture,
                                         
                                        namely rugged individualism and the Protestant work ethic
                                         
                                        that we need to investigate and probably revise,
                                         
                                        especially in this capitalist system,
                                         
    
                                        which has yet to fully employ this country's working age populace,
                                         
                                        especially the disabled community,
                                         
                                        which has the largest percentage of unemployment.
                                         
                                        So with this pandemic and economic crash signifies to me
                                         
                                        that we need systemic societal change.
                                         
                                        Yeah, absolutely.
                                         
                                        And for those listeners that might not know we talked about this before the recording,
                                         
                                        there is a Black Lives Matter protest event happening outside your window.
                                         
    
                                        So if listeners hear some honks or some noises, that's what it is, not a big deal at all,
                                         
                                        but just making listeners aware of that.
                                         
                                        You did say, and this is sort of off our main outline here, but just to double check,
                                         
                                        you said that you're teleconferencing with family and whatnot,
                                         
                                        but are you social distancing at home alone?
                                         
                                        You're alone at the moment?
                                         
                                        my attendant comes in and out
                                         
                                        I am fortunate that he lives right below me so shout out to David
                                         
    
                                        absolutely shout out to David for sure
                                         
                                        and I'll make sure after we end this conversation
                                         
                                        I'll send you my personal phone number
                                         
                                        I know it can be sort of difficult to be so isolated at this time
                                         
                                        before your own safety it's important
                                         
                                        so I'll give you my phone number and we can keep in touch over text message
                                         
                                        and obviously talk anytime you want
                                         
                                        but let's go ahead and move on to the next question
                                         
    
                                        which is we talked about your situation
                                         
                                        and how you're holding up in the challenges you're personally facing.
                                         
                                        Maybe we can talk a little bit more about the challenges that disabled people face broadly.
                                         
                                        So what challenges do many disabled people face during a health crisis like this
                                         
                                        that you feel often gets overlooked or not discussed enough?
                                         
                                        Disabled people are experiencing marginalizing in the overwhelmed health care system
                                         
                                        which undervalues their medical care because they are deemed to live less significant lives
                                         
                                        because they are not able-bodied.
                                         
    
                                        There are people with disabilities who are in danger of being denied care or will receive an adequate care because they will not have the ability to advocate for themselves in an efficient way for doctors and nurses to pay attention to them.
                                         
                                        People with complex communication needs that they had before COVID-19 or because of COVID-19 are having challenges communicating with medical care providers so that they could help direct their care.
                                         
                                        This should not be surprising because the marginalization we disabled people experience in the medical care system reflects the marginalization we experience in the wider society.
                                         
                                        We need to shift this paradigm and make sure that every life is conceived as valuable.
                                         
                                        But to instill this cultural strait in our medical system we need to make this a wider cultural value.
                                         
                                        Also, like I said before, isolation is a key issue in the discipline.
                                         
                                        in the disability community.
                                         
                                        It is my reasoning that it is this isolation
                                         
    
                                        that we disabled people experience
                                         
                                        that perpetuates the oppression
                                         
                                        and suffering that we suffer from.
                                         
                                        Because it is alienation that some of us
                                         
                                        with severe disabilities are to be dominant society
                                         
                                        that prevents people from fully empathizing with our situation.
                                         
                                        So like I said before, in my previous Rev Left earlier,
                                         
                                        left organizations could embrace like minded
                                         
    
                                        people with their organizing strategies to start to combat this disconnect some organizations
                                         
                                        with the disability community. My theory is the more disabled people are engaged in work in the
                                         
                                        community, the less isolated that they become. And having them get involved in left social
                                         
                                        justice organizations is a great way for disabled people to be involved. For those wondering,
                                         
                                        I will link to the past episode that I had with Lateef in the show notes. So if you like what
                                         
                                        you're listening to now, you can easily access that in the show notes. It's a great episode.
                                         
                                        So moving on to the next question, you know, I just want to shift a little bit because we've had
                                         
                                        a whole episode on disability, and I'm interested in sort of other things that are happening.
                                         
    
                                        So the past few days have been historical and breathtaking as uprisings and rebellions
                                         
                                        across the country have erupted in the wake of yet another police murder of an unarmed black man.
                                         
                                        If it's not too much to ask, how did that tape make you feel personally? And I'm just sort of
                                         
                                        interested in what are your thoughts on the unprecedented revolts that are taking place as we
                                         
                                        speak watching the tape sickened me and also sad in me to be honest those cops meant to kill
                                         
                                        George Floyd especially the one that had the knee pressing on his neck that was totally
                                         
                                        disturbing sad and disgusting to watch and I understand why a lot of people are angry about this
                                         
                                        murder I am angry about this murder there is no reason why
                                         
    
                                        this had to happen at all? I understand the anger that was exhibited all throughout this country,
                                         
                                        and we as a country have to deal with the reasons behind this anger. Because since Africans were
                                         
                                        captured on slave ships 500 years ago, black people lives were not sufficiently valued by
                                         
                                        the power structures in America. And what our generation is saying right now is this white
                                         
                                        supremacy concept of devaluing our black and other people of colors.
                                         
                                        lives has to stop and it has to stop now.
                                         
                                        For the disability angle on this, a good portion of people murdered by the police has some
                                         
                                        kind of disability.
                                         
    
                                        Actually, I have read an article recently that half of the people that the police murder in
                                         
                                        this country have some kind of disability.
                                         
                                        So this is a major issue in this country that is not being addressed.
                                         
                                        One of my good friends who I did the black disabled men talk.
                                         
                                        poet cast with Lear Roy Moore has done a lot of bad because he work on this subject and actually
                                         
                                        put out a documentary entitled Remus Hope, the art of murder illustrating how bad police murder is in the
                                         
                                        black and brown disability community. So we are now living through multiple crises at once,
                                         
                                        a health crisis, an economic crisis, a sociopolitical crisis, and a looming and active climate
                                         
    
                                        crisis. It's impossible to predict, of course, but generally where do you see all of this heading
                                         
                                        in your opinion? What are your thoughts on where this is going? Well, we seem to be heading in a really
                                         
                                        horrible situation indeed, the way things are going. Rose Luxembourg said it best. It is
                                         
                                        either socialism or barbarism. If you see fascism as an organized form of barbarism, I think
                                         
                                        this Luxembourg quote has rung true in this turbulent time.
                                         
                                        Capitalism has shown that it has failed to deal with our health crisis, as I explained earlier, our economic crisis, because capitalism caused the crisis, our socio-political crisis, or our climate crisis, define solutions to all these problems we need to look beyond the system we currently living in.
                                         
                                        The challenge is that many people in our country think that there is no going beyond the system as it's currently constructed.
                                         
                                        in that there is no escape from capitalism.
                                         
    
                                        It is up to people like us to say that not only can we live without capitalism,
                                         
                                        but ending it might be the only way we survive on this planet in the coming decades.
                                         
                                        I agree. These crises are crises of capitalism. Capitalism must be transcended.
                                         
                                        That's this sort of fundamental pillar to all of these expanding crises.
                                         
                                        And all of them happening at once is really revealing that they're all sort of intrinsic
                                         
                                        to the overall capitalist system. And we really are in a way that we've never
                                         
                                        experience in our lives, I think, here in America at the precipice of socialism or barbarism.
                                         
                                        And we've known what barbarism looks like. Barbarism has always been an element of this white
                                         
    
                                        supremacist settler colonial society. But the barbarism is really coming to the forefront in this
                                         
                                        moment. The state is taking a fascist posture and lots of things are coming our way that we
                                         
                                        can't predict them all, but we have to be ready for. Solidarity is the best way to be prepared for that
                                         
                                        and socialism is the best way to work our way out of these crises. Now, you mentioned a second ago
                                         
                                        that you have a podcast, Black Disabled Men Talk.
                                         
                                        You want to talk about that a little bit?
                                         
                                        It's happened since your last appearance on Revellef,
                                         
                                        so we haven't been able to talk about it or plug in,
                                         
    
                                        and I was hoping you could talk a little bit about that project.
                                         
                                        Yes, some of my friends and I came together and started the podcast,
                                         
                                        Black Disabled Men Talk.
                                         
                                        In our podcast, episodes, we discussed political and cultural issues
                                         
                                        from a Black disabled male perspective.
                                         
                                        We all have radical politics.
                                         
                                        so I think listeners to this podcast would be interested in listening to our podcast.
                                         
                                        You can find us on all podcast players and also on our website,
                                         
    
                                        www.w.w. blackdisabledment.com.
                                         
                                        Wonderful, and I'll link to that in the show notes to this episode.
                                         
                                        Thank you again, Lateef, for coming on.
                                         
                                        I love speaking with you, as I said.
                                         
                                        We'll exchange numbers after this so we can be in touch during this incredibly uncertain time,
                                         
                                        and I'll definitely, definitely, without a shadow of a doubt,
                                         
                                        have you back on the show in the future to catch up with you
                                         
                                        and just make you a mainstay of Rev Left
                                         
    
                                        because every time I talk with you,
                                         
                                        I genuinely, sincerely learn something
                                         
                                        and it re-emphasizes and refocuses my perspective
                                         
                                        on what socialism means and who it is we're fighting for.
                                         
                                        So absolutely keep up the great work with the podcast.
                                         
                                        Before I let you go, can you let listeners know where they can find you
                                         
                                        and your work online beyond the podcast, perhaps,
                                         
                                        and then maybe if you're up for a book recommendation
                                         
    
                                        or two that you might have in mind for people.
                                         
                                        I have two poetry books out entitled
                                         
                                        The Declaration of a Body of Love, Whispers of Crip Love, Shouts of Crip Revolution.
                                         
                                        You can buy these books through the Evil Empire site of Amazon or directly through me.
                                         
                                        I have a feeling that people will want to buy the books directly through me.
                                         
                                        So email me at L-M-C-L-E-O-D-03 at g-Mil.com,
                                         
                                        and I can arrange mailing book copies to you.
                                         
                                        I also have articles published on Huffington Post
                                         
    
                                        and blog posts on my website
                                         
                                        www.w.w.org.com.
                                         
                                        I am also writing a novel on disability activism
                                         
                                        tentatively called The Third Eye is crying.
                                         
                                        Beautiful. Amazing work.
                                         
                                        I'll link to as much of that as I can in the show notes.
                                         
                                        Before we hang up after this recording,
                                         
                                        I'll make sure I get all those proper links
                                         
    
                                        to put them in the show notes.
                                         
                                        and people if you can definitely buy the book one way or another,
                                         
                                        but buying it through Lateef would be awesome
                                         
                                        and it would not put more money in the future trillionaire
                                         
                                        Jeff Pezos's goddamn pockets.
                                         
                                        So thank you so much, Lateef.
                                         
                                        It's always a wonder to talk to you.
                                         
                                        Stay safe and we'll continue to be in touch
                                         
    
                                        and I'll talk to you soon, okay?
                                         
                                        Okay, stay safe to Brad.
                                         
                                        Let me get a chop at this lump
                                         
                                        Niggas from down underground
                                         
                                        They're hanging around the A-town
                                         
                                        Looking for a come up working from 9 to 5
                                         
                                        Just to get some trains
                                         
                                        So Timo can stay alive
                                         
    
                                        Not greedy and living lavishit
                                         
                                        But you can bet that when I do
                                         
                                        Nobody from my crew will I forget
                                         
                                        If I start to get large and come up on some chain
                                         
                                        I won't change, everybody know it down
                                         
                                        It's not the same every day life can be different
                                         
                                        These laws got me rid of wrong
                                         
                                        Because I've all a beat them
                                         
    
                                        So I still be slanging them fat billers don't make on me
                                         
                                        Each and every day as I comb my city streets
                                         
                                        Sometimes I wish I never have been a part of this mess
                                         
                                        Because the system got us fucked up
                                         
                                        They put us to the test, women and men
                                         
                                        If you black, you end, food for the soul
                                         
                                        Listen to what I tell you, it don't matter, a younger hole
                                         
                                        It's time we look up and do like we suppose
                                         
    
                                        We're killing each other over this bullshit and some clothes
                                         
                                        We struck up in this world's society
                                         
                                        With no place else to go
                                         
                                        So how you feel
                                         
                                        Frustrated
                                         
                                        It's irritated
                                         
                                        Sometimes I don't know myself
                                         
                                        I'll be too numb
                                         
    
                                        Feel something sometimes
                                         
                                        So I dig deep
                                         
                                        Get in the Cherokee
                                         
                                        Let my mind fly free
                                         
                                        Into your wilderness
                                         
                                        So I can get this shit off my mind
                                         
                                        That's why I be smoking
                                         
                                        That day sometimes
                                         
    
                                        It keeps me from snapping
                                         
                                        It keeps me calm
                                         
                                        It keeps my mind open
                                         
                                        It keeps me fun
                                         
                                        The hood I got to do
                                         
                                        Off in the studio
                                         
                                        I do get my old bird
                                         
                                        Back on the feet
                                         
    
                                        And my little bro is
                                         
                                        States per row and my little two girls Mark Twain
                                         
                                        All my fucking hanged with me
                                         
                                        When I was out in the trap
                                         
                                        Or when I was going through what I ever sold
                                         
                                        Only God knows what I go through
                                         
                                        So I get down on my name
                                         
                                        Sometimes I come home too high to break
                                         
    
                                        But I get on my bed lay on my back
                                         
                                        And meditate anyway
                                         
                                        In the ceiling of the four walls
                                         
                                        It's like cell therapy
                                         
                                        Got nothing to do
                                         
                                        But write my LIFE
                                         
                                        Put it down on paper
                                         
                                        Man
                                         
    
                                        So what you feel?
                                         
                                        I'm near for today, motherfucker, another hour.
                                         
                                        It might be sour.
                                         
                                        I never know my day, so I'm praying in the shower.
                                         
                                        Look up and thank the Lord for forgiveness.
                                         
                                        A witness to bad, I'm looking for good.
                                         
                                        In the South West, God place, my neighborhood.
                                         
                                        There's people killing in the street to eat.
                                         
    
                                        Surviving a day is the only goal that I set.
                                         
                                        Just to make it home, I'm not alone.
                                         
                                        Someone's out to get me when I have a shit wrong.
                                         
                                        It feels slow, Mr. Cudency Path.
                                         
                                        My mind for right did you take, man.
                                         
                                        Got me by the loose of my pants.
                                         
                                        Got me on the curle and the traffic path me by.
                                         
                                        No questions.
                                         
    
                                        I said nothing.
                                         
                                        Looking for the mutant to be bucking the law.
                                         
                                        Nah, man, gibbs, shoulder my shit, close my mouth, and I dip.
                                         
                                        See the me a G.
                                         
                                        It's a personal understand the plan.
                                         
                                        Can't make no moves when you end the hands of the man.
                                         
                                        They got some new sweets down peace street.
                                         
                                        Left wing for the fads, right wing for the hard heads,
                                         
    
                                        making more deals and buddy folks made with harsh fear.
                                         
                                        Somebody don't want my face in this plate for 96 shit slick.
                                         
                                        Carby clean looking fresh.
                                         
                                        Don't be scratching at my chest under the order who, guess who?
                                         
                                        Guess who ain't nothing iller.
                                         
                                        In middle one-on-one to your ass.
                                         
                                        No more life, what you gave is to pay
                                         
                                        Because ain't no future
                                         
    
                                        Wonder Miller kept your case
                                         
                                        Disgrace your face
                                         
                                        Make it seem to be safe
                                         
                                        Ain't no place to run
                                         
                                        Sometimes I don't even know how I'm gonna eat
                                         
                                        About $20 away from being on the street
                                         
                                        Might see a nigga on TV
                                         
                                        But here it's almost like I'm rapping for free
                                         
    
                                        That little money be gone
                                         
                                        I'm gone
                                         
                                        Gotta help keep the heat and the light zone
                                         
                                        It would be nice to have money
                                         
                                        But I kind of like being pulled
                                         
                                        At least I know what my friend's here for
                                         
                                        I want to lie to you sometimes
                                         
                                        But I can't
                                         
    
                                        I want to tell you that it's all good
                                         
                                        But it ain't
                                         
                                        It's hickers hurting
                                         
                                        And uncertain about if they go make it
                                         
                                        A lot
                                         
                                        That's why we got niggins killing
                                         
                                        Feeling like they coming up
                                         
                                        Off a little don't they soul
                                         
    
                                        You get some gold
                                         
                                        But we won't make it as a whole
                                         
                                        Because without you there'd be no me
                                         
                                        And without no unity
                                         
                                        There will never be
                                         
                                        In the happiness
                                         
                                        You can smoke a pile of six
                                         
                                        And it still won't relieve
                                         
    
                                        Your stress card less
                                         
                                        My thought process
                                         
                                        Now as an outcast
                                         
                                        I was born wasn't worn up the harm that would come to meet me like MetLife
                                         
                                        But yet like done
                                         
                                        Set me through a lot of the ups and downs like it ain't nothing
                                         
                                        Like elevators
                                         
                                        But I ain't the one that's pushing the buttons
                                         
    
                                        I got off at the 13 flow
                                         
                                        When they told me that it wasn't one
                                         
                                        They said it's get from 12 to 14
                                         
                                        Still smoking, still drinking
                                         
                                        No, I'm sitting on the Lincoln 4 AM thinking
                                         
                                        That in reality the world is like a ball full of players
                                         
                                        We trapped off in this maze
                                         
                                        With walls made up like as an only prayer
                                         
    
                                        It's the tightest game that you can have
                                         
                                        The devil's taking a swing that mind is sprained
                                         
                                        The broken glass
                                         
                                        But my crystal balls seen the pistol fall to the wayside
                                         
                                        Nobody would die in cops and robbers
                                         
                                        When we used to play ride
                                         
                                        Huh, only thing we fit was Williams Wayne
                                         
                                        Never thought about hitting licks
                                         
    
                                        The slang and cane
                                         
                                        Didn't I think I be the one to give it to abortion
                                         
                                        Label me murderer because my ass is portion
                                         
                                        Hot from the Glock that sits under my seat
                                         
                                        Yeah, it's real fucked up that my folks
                                         
                                        Come to get me and it's like that
                                         
                                        Yeah, yeah, uh-huh, yeah, and it's like them.
                                         
