Review Revue - Beer Gardens

Episode Date: May 21, 2024

Alf and Reilly do a dumb dumb and visit a sex club in Berlin.<><><>Lyrics if you want to sing along I guess.<><><>Oh well her name is Frahny RosenAnd shes got a special traitYeah I know she must be chosenAnd if not it must be fateWhat I’m bout to be exposingYou can see it on her faceIt’s this itty bitty feature filled with dignity and graceYeah it’s her nose, her smeller, her sniffer, her sneezerMy past present future yeah I call it EbenezerThe other kids might see it and’ll feel the need to tease herBut its only cause they’re jellou, everybody wanna squeeze herTouching that little baby ball on your noseMakes me feel it in my body from my head to my toesYou could tour the whole country, you’d be selling out showsJust as more people see it popularity growsThey’d be standing in line, waiting for hoursComing in from other countries and be leaving it flowersTelling all their friends about their magical encountersAnd just after one touch they’d swear it had superpowersImagine that your holding a marble in your handBut the outsides made of velvet and the insides made of jamA heavenly relationship like God to AbrahamAnd we’re just all beholders cause we’re in the promised landNow I could go on describing the best feeling in the worldBut you really should be striving on your on to find this girlAsk her for a favor, tell her what you knowThat she holds the keys to feel eternally aglowAnd you too might just be rhyming what for years we’ve all been piningThat her nose is what you’re finding up under the mistletoe>>>>><<<<<Follow at:IG: @reillyanspaugh @alfredinnitTwitter: @reilecoyote Join the discord here!Produced by Daniel Ramos @SchubirdsAdvertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. At participating restaurants for a limited time.

Oh, well. Her name is Franny Rosen. And she's got a special trait. Yeah. I know she must be chosen. And if not, it must be fate fate What about to be exposed? You can see it on her face It's her city, really feature-filled with dignity and grace Yeah, it's her nose, hers manner haters, never hurts me, sir

My past, present, future, yeah I can't let up and ease her The other kids might see it And I feel the need to tease her But it's only cause they get your love Everybody wanna squeeze their Touching that little baby ball on your nose Makes me feel it in my body from my head to my toes

You could see the whole country You'll be selling all the shows Just ask more people see it popularity grows okay okay so um that was we're gonna cut it off there this is another couple minutes what was happening i felt so confused. I felt very vulnerable. Gavin. Sorry. That was from Gavin and Francesca.

Gavin says, Arrivederci as a greeting. This is a song I paid $25 for on Fiverr as a tribute to my girlfriend's schnoz. I wrote the lyrics and I think an Eastern European woman sang it and added music and absolutely smashed it. It has nothing to do with your show, but it's definitely original. Just about her big ol' honker. That's the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. I'm crying. That was so amazing. Fuck me. That was so amazing. Gavin Francesca, please wait till the end and you can hear the entire song.

I knew some of it was in English, but I couldn't tell. No, it's all in english he also he emailed me the lyrics as well okay that was really i can i just say i fucking loved that song i loved that song and i loved i think my favorite part of the email is it has absolutely nothing to do with your show just about my girlfriend's big old schnoz and i love that i don't i love it like we played it didn't we so we sure did guys if you want to use this show if you want to write original songs about the show wonderful if you want to use this as a platform

to share original work about nothing that has anything to do with this show even better even better i don't yeah like I don't particularly care. I just don't want to hear the same songs over and over. I am, I'm in such a better mood than I was two minutes ago. That was incredible. You were in a really bad mood. Alf, what's new with your ass? I made a really-

And be honest. Okay, after we recorded last night, something happened where I went to the bathroom. Okay. And it has nothing to do with what I did in there, but I was in there shitting. And... Alfred. I, for the last six months, whatever, that i've been living in this apartment i have been like wow these walls are so thick man firewalls like it's the sick fire brick you know it's very very

thick brick walls like i don't hear anything happening in the units around like whatever i've never heard another person so much as sneeze in this building. Last night, I'm shitting on the toilet, sitting shitting on the toilet, and I hear the man who lives next to me speaking in German on the phone about Donald Trump, and it sounds like he is in my skull. He is so loud. I hear every word of his conversation. Like he's sitting in the bath next to me while I shit. Does it make you start to second guess some things?

It makes me second guess every episode we've ever recorded. Right. Where I scream like, ooh, is it coming? Or whatever. Well, when we were my neighbors for this episode i i were on zoom and i'm like okay let's clap to slate to record and alf i said let's do a slate and alf said hi i'm alfred barbara welkins i'm six nine and i have a donkey dick come on i didn't say that i would never you know well you did say that and so it's like things like that. You know what? I understand that. Yeah, that is the kind of stuff that I'm worried.

Well, I get that. Because I really thought, like, I genuinely never would sneeze. And all of a sudden it's, oh, Donald Trump. Make America great again. Like, literally, that's what I heard. Make America great again and Donald Trump. And then just German. And I don't speak.

So it was very strange. It was very was very strange it was very very I I can relate to that because when we moved in here um to our apartment I thought that the walls would be a little bit thicker than they are but they are not they're just paper thin and so I've just given over to the embarrassment you're like my neighbors know yeah they know my whole thing except we have new neighbors so I'm like uh-oh give it some time they'll come give it some they'll do you think there's a group chat with your all of your neighbors and not you yes it's about like she's at it again she's doing it they must be fighting and a little peek behind the curtain we're doing two episodes today is saturday april 20th we're doing two episodes

today and two episodes tomorrow so we're really um're going to get a lot of content from me. You celebrating, man? Oh shit, that's today. You celebrating? Come on. We're 20. Let's get fucking high on the podcast. I am going to go, well, hold on.

Speaking of celebrating. Maybe she is celebrating. No, I'm not. But I'm going somewhere that is related to today's topic, which I guess let's get into it. Speaking of celebrating, speaking of winding down, speaking of a little greenery, we're talking about beer gardens today.

Beer gardens. And I know that the spelling of this episode title is the American English version of beer garden and not beer gotten. Not what my neighbor would say. Tonight, I'm going gonna go see one of our college friends um he and his girlfriend are in town oh yeah you are tell me and

um we're gonna go to a little brewery okay um but a beer garden I've never been to a beer garden but as I was looking up all of the beer gardens you've never been to a beer garden no that's fascinating was looking up all of the beer gardens. You've never been to a beer garden? No. That's fascinating.

Because I'm not really a beer girly. I love a cocktail. That's true. So I, um, but I did have a beer recently for the first time in a while. And I'm like, damn, that's just pretty good. Um. Tell me about it. So to go to like, you know, a lovely outdoor communal tables in the summer cold like it's it's delightful there's one in germany in berlin that i have some reviews more than one oh well sure but this

there's like all this wonderful food and it's like a really big park i'm like this looks incredible. It's incredible. There are a few things I like more than outdoor dining. Than alcohol. Well, yeah. Outdoor dining and alcohol. To be sitting outside in a field, like I don't want to be in a beer garden like in a city. You know what I mean? I want to be at a beer garden like i went to one many years ago now um in upstate new york where it was just like in the mountains like they just had all this

fucking land and we were just outside you know people were playing cornhole and yes yes games you have to have games yes i got like this huge flight you know of beer and i started you know fighting the waiters and you know i got kicked out and but before that it was a really lovely is that true it's not true could be though and uh i had a i just i just love like being outdoor it's like fucking it's just summer you know what i mean fuck yeah and i'll drink a non-alcoholic beer in a beer garden and fucking hits man it's really there's something there's um there are a couple beer gardens in l.a but it's like they're concrete it's just like concrete jungle where dreams are made of there's also um as i was looking up like there's a lot of

bars and clubs and stuff that have like rooftop, quote unquote, beer gardens. But I really do. It's like that just feels like here's a patio where you can drink versus a beer garden, which is like an outdoor experience. Right. Like, oh, you can take your pint outside if you want. Right. Like one of the one of the things like from the pandemic of like you know alfresco dining like the idea of like outdoor dining like i don't like it like i love outdoor

dining but like we did that for the pandemic so that we could still go you just said you liked fucking bear with i you know you just said okay yes i love outdoor dining and then you're like i'm so fucking sick of it but no i'm not sick of outdoor dining I love outdoor dining and then you're like oh I'm so fucking sick of it but no I'm not sick of outdoor dining I love outdoor dining but what I'm sick of is places that don't are not set up for outdoor dining that pre-pandemic would have never considered having outdoor dining having outdoor dining right where it's like yeah I guess this is nice except for the fact that I'm in the middle of the sidewalk everybody's mad it's like, yeah, I guess this is nice, except for the fact that I'm in the middle of the sidewalk. Everybody's mad.

It's crazy loud. Like, there's traffic blazing by me at 40 miles an hour while I'm trying to, like, you know, propose. Oh, my God. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. The closest thing I think to a beer garden I've been to is, is there's a pub in England. It's Bush Garden.

It's Bush Garden. There is a pub in England. And I remember they had some outdoor seating. I'll kill you. There's a pub. And I remember getting like a Pimms. Oh, Pimms. Sitting.

Come on. Outside. And it was like, like spring just turning into summer. And it was so fucking lovely. It was just perfect. I'm like, wow, this is it. This is it. Pimms.

Now, it's like sometimes I get struck by an alcohol I didn't know I missed. You know what I mean? And then you say Pimms. And I'm like, it's- And now you're going to kind of relapse. Oh, it's for children. But I love it. I love it. I love it. I love love it and maybe the fact that i said it's for children is telling but um yeah this alcoholic beverage this alcoholic beverage is for children should we get into it oh um you seem to be forgetting something. Oh, a little, a little.

Seems like it was my turn to remember this week. You're right. So then, Alf, what's the intention? I feel like that's where the new rule is. Whoever remembers the intention sets the intention. I think it's like summer, but it's sleepy. You know what I mean? It's kind of like, ooh, it's kind of like.

Like hazy. Hazy, yes. Like like, ooh, it's kind of like, eh. Like hazy. Hazy, yes. Like an IPA, which I don't like. Like an IPA, like hay fever. I think IPAs are disgusting. Really? I hate IPAs. Back when I was annoying, I used to drink like triple IPA, you know what I mean?

And it basically tastes like gravy, and it's like 14% ABV. And I used to love them, but I think, yeah, we went a bit overboard. You know what I mean and it's like basically tastes like gravy and it's like 14% ABV and I used to love them but I think yeah we went a bit overboard you know what I mean it's they just taste I feel like I'm drinking perfume it's like it's so don't threaten me with a good time no I know what you mean I really I don't like it hey and no one's gonna make you drink it man

okay free country what did I have recently the beer I had recently that I think a Stellaella i just i went jeff jeffrey james and i had we each had some fish and chips and he got guinness and i got a stella and that shit was delicious i don't like guinness never did never will i don't like stouts in general i like a stout i can have maybe five sips of one when i was in college there was one fateful night i'm sure i've talked about on the pod i had i think maybe five or six guinnesses oh my god and since then i have not wanted one yeah not surprised was that when you were abroad yeah that's when our friend dylan and i went to um ireland for a couple days well

at least you did it right you know what i mean i did it right but then since then it's like the thought of having a Guinness. And that was years ago now. They even make non-alcoholic Guinnesses. And I have. That is crazy. And I've never been like, oh, I got it. Yeah, just to scratch that.

I'm like, no. No. If I wanted a milkshake, I'd have a milkshake. If I hadn't have overdone it when I was 20. Yeah. I could go for a Guinness now and then, but it's like, and there are times I can still have a sip of,

I think I had maybe like a half pint of one a couple months ago. And that was, that was good. There's, um, there's a kind of beer. I like, it's like a peanut butter stout and it is ultimately a milkshake.

Vile. And again, that's only one that I'm like, I can have like a half, like a quarter pint of that. And I'm good. I'm like, if we're going to send it, let's send it. Right one that I'm like, I can have like a half, like a quarter pint of that. And I'm good. I'm like, if we're going to send it, let's send it. Right.

And it's like, if you go to Five Guys in the UK, you can get a milkshake with Bailey's in it. I mean, don't threaten me with a good time. Fucking hell. Right. Give me that. I don't want to drink your like, oh, Mrs. My Mrs. Our PBJ beer.

You know what I mean? Or like chocolate wine you know chocolate wine that i've never heard of that that sounds absolutely disgusting barfo barfomo do you want to start or should i i'd like it if you did i would feel better if you did you would feel a little safer what are all those stickers you've got on your phone they're not stickers it's a phone case it's a bunch of cartoon dogs on it because is anyone surprised i don't know why i thought they were stickers that's because you're fucking daft um well okay these are both for uh the pretergarten in berlin which just looks delicious and so lovely and it's so vast and look at all that greenery and it's just like a great time.

Delightful. This is five stars. Okay. From Dave L. Okay. Dave Lathew's band. Dave Lathew's band. Saying that makes me feel like I'm having a stroke.

Dave Lathew's band. Dave Lathew's band. Oh, it's the Dave Lathew's band. You ever heard about Dave Lathew's band? Oh, the Dave Lathew's band. Dave Lathew's band. It's hard to say. Five's the Dave Lathius Band. You ever heard about Dave Lathius Band? Oh, the Dave Lathius Band. Dave Lathius Band. It's hard to say Lathius Band. Five stars from Dave Lathius Band.

When in Germany, this is an absolute must visit. Pretzels you carry on your arm. What? Beautiful atmosphere. Great crowd. The food is great, but the service area is very crowded, fast-paced, and confusing the first time. And there's no patience for confused tourists.

Make sure you eat all your food. The man who cleans the tables made us flip over our chicken to make sure, LOL. What? The man who cleans the tables made them flip over their chicken to make sure they'd eaten enough. Of the chicken?

LOL. Sure. Strange. I can chicken? LOL. Sure. Strange. I can't even imagine. Of like some parental figure being like, uh-uh-uh. Hey, flip that chicky over, please. Hey. I think you could do...

Let's take this. I think you could do a couple more bites Should we do a couple more bites? Oh god Okay are you done? Sorry sorry It looks like those bottles Yes I'm good thank you Oh great thank you

Oh you're still enjoying your chicken? Oh no Yes it was delicious i i'm uh i think i'm all set thank you you're only halfway done yeah i just think i you know like i my hey my eyes were bigger my stomach eh so yeah oh it's okay we got time i'll come back i'll come back no i've got it i'm actually i'm waiting for a flight so i should probably head to the gate now so um well but this is the best coq au vin in jfk right and i've heard and it was delicious and i'm i mean i will be ordering it again i travel a lot

for work you'll see me again so i do you want me to back box it up for you oh i don't want to totally do that you know what why don't i i i don't think i want to take it on the plane i you know coq au vin i get that it won't travel well it will travel well and you don't want to be sitting next to the guy on the plane eating the... No one does. And so that's why you should finish it right now. Oh, I would. But I get sick.

You would. I get sick. You will. Sorry? You're going to finish it. I pull up a chair. Oh. I'm going to finish the cock-a-van.

I'm okay. I'm Robert, by the way. Nice to meet you, Robert. I don't know if I introduced myself when I took your order. You did. You said, I'm Robert. I'm Robert, by the way. Nice to meet you, Robert. I don't know if I introduced myself when I took your order. You did. You said, I'm Robert. I'm going to be your server today. Oh, well, it's just that it's like normally... I don't know. You haven't used my name since. I find it

weird when people do that. Okay, Kevin. Why don't you take another bite? Why don't you go ahead and take another bite okay yeah also i'm not weird you have your boarding pass on the table i can see your name on your boarding pass sorry first class must be a rich man oh work pays for it it's not i you know there are perks i'm not nice job yes it is a nice job i'm not complaining it's a Nice job. Yes, it is a nice job. I'm not complaining. It's a nice job. Business or?

Yes, it is a business. Yeah. I mean, what? Obviously. Come on, Kevin. I'm not that stupid. You are a little stupid. Why don't you take another bite of the car?

Okay, I'll take a bite. While you tell me about your job. Oh, basically. Have you seen Up in the Air? George Clooney movie? Oh, yeah. He travels a lot. lot yeah do you remember what he does in that not particularly is it like he does he work for an airline no he fires people

he like gets when corporate buyouts happen he goes in and he has to fire a bunch of people this was delicious thank you by the way i that bite oh it is and it continues to be that was the piece and it continues to be and it continues to be. That was the piece de resistance. And it continues to be. And it is très bien. Why don't you go ahead and take another bite for me? There's a lot of meat left on there. Yes. I'm full.

I'm really full. I shouldn't have had the artichoke hearts. Oh, my God. It really filled me up. No, the artichoke hearts, as I always recommend, that is a pairing. You did. So I'm glad you listened. Yes, you did recommend them.

They were delicious, but they were kind of filling. I'm so glad. I'm going to pay for it. Is that what this is? No, no, no, no, no. I will pay for it. Yes, you did recommend them. They were delicious, but they were kind of filling. I'm so glad. I'm going to pay for it. Is that what this is? No, no, no, no, no. I will pay for it. We've already run your card. We've already run your card.

I'm going to tip you very generous. That's so nice. Hey, I think we could do a couple more invites. So how does it feel like when you fire people? Do you feel powerful? No. Don't we need to airplane this to you? No, I can.

I'm a grown man um so yeah basically i hire i i don't try and think too much about it right like i just kind of i go in it's very matter of fact you know most of the companies i go for you know i just don't you know i'm not like a villain like you should actually sorry there's a there's so much sauce on the right side of the plate. It's a little salty. And if you could. The sauce is a little salty. Oh, well. So. That's above my pay grade.

But I eat a very low sodium diet. I'm very sensitive to it because I eat a low sodium diet. Okay, so it's salty to you. Yes, absolutely. Because I was going to say, actually, it's like people, I've never heard that that's too salty. Who's to say? Yeah, could be me. Why don't you go ahead and just kick up that sodium up a notch and just have a little bit of it.

Oh, my heart, I have a heart thing. I shouldn't. I really shouldn't. Is that why you do the low-sodium diet? Yes, exactly. You see now. How about you take the chicken in your hands and just take a couple bites? Like an apple?

Yeah. I'm okay, I think, actually. Thank you, though. Well, you're okay, but you're going to miss your flight if you don't get this down fast enough, right? Oh, shit, I didn't see the time. Yeah. I'm okay, I think, actually. Thank you, though. Well, you're okay, but you're going to miss your flight if you don't get this down fast enough, right? Oh, shit, I didn't see the time. Yeah. You got 10 minutes until you board, and your terminal, you have to take a shuttle

to get to your terminal. Really? Yeah. Oh, fuck. Okay, this has been great. This airport's huge. I'm going to run. You travel a lot.

You don't know how big JFK is. No, no, no, no. No, no. Kevin, you sit. Lock the doors. Guys, lock them. What the? Lock them. Gates down. No, Kevin. Lock the doors. Guys, lock them. Lock them.

Gates down. Kevin, you're going to say you're going to take the chicken in your hands and you're going to eat every fucking bite. What is this to you? You're going to take the chicken. Why? Why is this for you like this? In your hands. What?

Why? Why are you so serious about it? Why do you care? I hate food waste, Kevin. You come in here. You order the coca van it says serves two or more you told me to order it which is you recommended it you said it's a good pairing with the art and it is a good pairing because you said i want the artichoke hearts and and what am i going to do lie to you and say that it's not going to go perfectly with the coca van no i'm not going to do

that kevin because i'm really good at my fucking job not that good because you made me order a thing that's clearly for three i didn't make you no one can make anyone do anything have you ever heard of free will kevin yeah i have heard of free will kevin why don't you go ahead and eat the fucking chicken i'm not eating the fucking chicken you are gonna eat the chicken you can't make me do things but i can make you eat that fucking chicken ever heard of free will fuck you ever heard of your wife carolyn what ever heard of your wife carolyn how do you know my wife ever heard of your dog samson yeah i love i sorry why don't you go ahead and take two more bites of the chicken um yeah okay a couple bites sure um oh the dark meat right there that is the best part of the bird i'll tell you what fatty but yeah

kevin um are you excited to fire people like is it today is it tomorrow when's that happening i got more today uh when i get in i we got our first round you got more bites too why don't you take a couple more bites okay sure sure did i fire somebody what's that did i fire somebody did you fire somebody will you tell me you fired a lot of like your mom your your brother she has a name. She has a name. She actually has a name, Kevin. There it is. It was your mom. Okay.

What was her name? She's still alive, Kevin. Where did she work, though? What do you mean, where was she? Jesus Christ. Where did I fire her? Her name is Ashlyn. Doesn't ring a bell.

She worked at, what's that? Doesn't ring a bell. I fire a lot of people, man. Why don't you go ahead and take that chicken bone? Just tell me where... It's tender. You can bite into it. I'm not eating a bone, okay?

Not even dogs can do that. Are you a dog, Kevin? No, I'm a... Are you comparing yourself? Where does she work, man? Just tell me where she works. She worked at the M&M World in Times Square. Oh.

I was years ago. When they had their big turnover, you went in. What did she look like again? Like a spring day. Like more specific? Like a spring afternoon. Yeah, right. Like hair color.

Like sand. And eyes like the ocean. Okay, blonde with blue eyes. Oh, was she marketing? Was she marketing? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember her.

You walked in. She didn't take it well. Well, it's not that she didn't take it well. She told... You know what? She actually took a video of you. Okay. I don't know if you knew that.

I didn't. That's illegal. New York is a two-party consent state, so she shouldn't have been doing that without my consent. Hey, Woody, you can't come in here and just kick us all out like this. Well, we're not kicking you out, actually. This is just a, um... We have rights!

You do, and you're all being offered very generous severance packages, so, you know, don't... I can't believe this! This muckety-muck is coming in and throwing us all out the shop! Yeah... We need to go to the authorities, everybody! Well, you actually, you each have the option to either continue working for another two weeks or take two weeks extra on your severance. It doesn't matter to us.

Whatever you prefer to do. I imagine most of you will take the two weeks of severance, but it's up to you. See, Kevin? Pretty damning video, isn't it? Seemed pretty normal to me, man. I don't know. I do a lot of these that one actually go ahead and eat the entire fucking bird the temperature in there i'm just

saying was pretty low the bird no in the well the bird is cold now you've eaten enough thank you do you want some do i want some of what you've touched i don't fucking think so what i want is an apology on video for my mother i just hate to see all this food go to waste you are a piece of shit kevin why don't you take here i'm recording you hey kevin hey smile for the camera why don't you apologize to my dear, dear mother? Okay, Ashley. Ashlyn! Sorry, Ashlyn. It's Kevin here. You probably remember from one of the worst days of your life.

Oh, she'll remember you all right. No, I know. They always do. I hope you enjoyed the six-month severance. And I hope you've landed somewhere that treats you better than the M&M store did. Because if they brought me in, they weren't good guys you know what I mean so I hope you're doing well now say I'm really sorry I'm really sorry that that happened to you and that you're say I'm sorry that I did that okay I'm sorry that I was had to be the one to do that maybe you would have preferred the

message coming from somebody else say your son is a hero robert is a really good guy um he obviously cares about you a great deal um you know say how much you loved the pairing of the artichokes and the chicken that robert suggested robert made a very good suggestion for my lunch um minus the serving size but the pairing itself was very good the serving size say the serving size was not his fault because in the menu it does say so well he did right okay his i should have read the menu, it does say so. Well, he did. Okay. I should have read the menu clearer, I guess. Yes. Yes. Is that so hard?

Oh, look. I think there's your flight taken off. I'm calling security. You can't just keep me here. I'm not. No, it's been actually unlocked this entire time. No one locked the doors. You think I have that kind of power?

No. You could have left anytime you wanted, Kevin, but you knew that you had to do the right thing. I guess, man. Your flight is gone. You missed it. Okay, I'll get another one. I'm rich.

Let's take a break and we'll come back with some more beer garden reviews and we're back alf come on give us one okay um this is for edgewater beer garden not in edgewater chicago in edgewater in uh it's in denver colorado five stars from Ronnie W. Ronnie, won't you have a beer? Ronnie, won't you have a beer? Five stars. Great experience. If you left this place any less than five stars, you are a dumb, dumb. Great ambiance. Fantastic food that's priced low enough to not make me have to sell plasma while

in denver is that a thing here do y'all sell plasma but most of all the staff was amazing go unless you're a dumb dumb but even then go be a smart smart no you're lying. You're lying. Be a smart smart. No, not be a smart smart. To use the word, the fucking say dumb dumb. You are a dumb dumb twice and then end it with be a smart smart. Be a smart smart makes you want to tear off all my skin. Is that a thing here? Do y'all sell plasma? Like what?

I am still really stuck on be a smart smart. I'm really stuck on don't be a dumb dumb, be a smart smart. Don't be a dumb dumb. Be a smart smart. That's awful. That's really, really awful. Do y'all sell plasma? Do y'all sell plasma? Do y'all sell plasma here in Denver to the Florida meal?

Like we do wherever the fuck Ronnie is from. Ronnie, won't you have a beer? Ronnie, just have a beer. Don't be selling your plasma. Don't be a dum-dum. Be a smart-smart. Be a smart-smart. Ronnie, don't be a dum-dum. Why don't you steal some plasma

it's like like as a slogan don't be a dumb dumb be a smart smart for harvard like the harvard marketing department. Okay, class. Today we have a very special guest. We have a recruiter from Harvard coming in to tell you. Yes, I know. I know. Who here has seen Legally Blonde?

Who here has seen Legally Blonde? What about Legally Blonde 2? Yeah? Yeah, what about the third one where it's like she has her cousins or something? And the British girls, the British twins from Sweetheart.

Zach and Cody. Anyone? Okay, what about Social Network? Yeah, come on, come on. No Social Network heads. All right, well, those are the only movies with Harvard in it. Anyway, we're gonna go ahead and welcome to our class today Mr. Evan Johnson. Now, Evan, he graduated summa cum laude from Harvard Law, and he now worked for the university. And he is ready to tell you guys all about this wonderful school. He is in admissions currently. I don't know.

I'm actually really curious to hear about his journey from graduating top of his class in law to now being admissions recruitment. But here we go. I'm going to help pass out some flyers from him. And Tiffany, I know that you got your eyes set on Harvard, so I'm sure you'll have a lot of questions for him. Yeah, I do. I'm very excited to talk to him. Great.

Okay, well, without further ado, Evan Peters. Thank you, Barbara. Thank you for that fantastic introduction. Wow, it's amazing to look out here and see the smiling faces of Harvard's, maybe, next four years. I think it's one of my favorite parts of my job is meeting those young people and, well, changing their lives by letting them come to Harvard. Yes, you. Mr. Johnson, I just want to say I'm Tiffany, and I'm looking to go pre--med and you will definitely be seeing me in Crimson very soon. Wow. Pleasure to meet you. Pleasure to meet you. Good eye contact. Good eye contact.

Thank you. I've actually that is something that I've been meeting with a lot of admissions coaches. And they say that that is one of the first things that scouts notice for recruitment for Harvard. Wow. Well, yes. I mean, look look i don't want to say anything's guaranteed we actually have a very low acceptance rate but you know you see she's looking around the class like sorry sorry you do you you know you seem like a smart smart so um well i know that you guys have recently changed your Latin school motto. And so that means a lot to hear you say that. Yes. Well, for those of you who are not in the loop and don't know what...

Yes, I know. I think most of us are not in the loop. Tiffany's referring to Harvard. We recently decided to go in a different direction. Of course, you all remember our previous motto so clearly that I don't even need to mention it. I think we can all say it at the same time because everyone here

knows it. Especially you. Evan, why don't you lead it for us? And then we can all chime in. Was that the old one or the new one? The old one, please. The old one, of course, is Werbem. Werbem. Kopiay. Kopiay. The old one, of course, is werbum. Werbum. Copii.

Copii. Focillain. Focillain. Apatis. Apatis. Which, of course, is Latin. It translates, well, roughly to we are better than you. Yes.

But we've recently decided that was a little bit exclusive and we wanted to change directions. So, well, actually, if you want to switch to the next slide. Yep. So this is our new motto and logo. As you can see, it says smartest, smartest, nay, dumbo, dumbo. It is a little bit more accessible, we feel, a little bit more to the spirit of Harvard as an institution. I have a question. Sorry, I know no one's expecting Ms. Brown to have a question. No, of course.

I think we all agree that it's wonderful when teachers are involved in the admissions process um you say that this new sorry i the translation you know i um i haven't brushed up on latin in a minute oh yeah of course be a smart smart not a dumb dumb right that's what i was afraid of um you say that this is to be a bit more inclusive yeah it feels very condescending extremely of course right so at least you know that well we're still harvard after all aren't we cut to the think tank meeting for the new slogan everybody we've gotten too too many complaints about we're better than you i thought it was a nice little tongue-in-cheek of you know at least everyone at least we're better than you i thought it was a nice little tongue in cheek of you know at least everyone at least we're all on the same page but i do think that we should

appeal to the common masses well thank you for suggesting that well this topic i actually um you know as an admissions counselor myself i do interface a lot of the students and i think you know what we could really do is maybe get to the heart of we're better than you which is why? We could do a TikTok dance! We could do a TikTok dance! Now this I love. This I love. You said you're getting straight to the heart of the students. They're all on tape. We could do a day in the life of

a smarty. Well, and what I was actually going to say, right, was why? Right? Why are we better than you? Right? Why are we superior? And I interrupted you. And you did interrupt me. And I interrupted you. And you did interrupt me. And I interrupted you. And you did interrupt me. And I apologize.

Oh, that's all right. I apologize from the bottom of my heart, Evan, my dear colleague. I'm so sorry. Oh, but Robert, and have I mentioned you smell fantastic today? What is that? What are you wearing? It's Tom Ford. It's Tom Ford. Well, it's delicious. It's simply scrumptious. Oh, thank you. I got it on ComApp.

Oh, fantastic. I personally, I never go to that side of the river, but I hear they do have some good parfumeries. Now, tell me more about your TikTok dance idea. I think that's really fantastic. Well, I want to hear more about the why. So I'm thinking we can maybe even bridge the two ideas together with a little link. We do a day in the life of a smarty.

And then maybe the reveal at the end is why they're so smart as well. They went to Harvard. They go to Harvard. I think that's fantastic. I think that's fantastic. I think that's fantastic. I personally, I think that's fantastic. I personally, I think that's fantastic. I mean, oh, that's so fantastic. Would you like to, um, well, here's a couple pitches I have for a new motto, if you're willing to hear.

I love it. Any idea of yours. It's going to be amazing. Obviously, they're going to be Latin, right? We can't change that much. Otherwise, the donors are going to flip. Oh, they will flip their lid. So we are going to have to stay with that.

Sorry, but before we move on, can I just say, you have the most enigmatic laugh. And by enigmatic, I mean magnetic. Look at me. It's just so many SAT words just fumbling around in my brain. Well, hopefully that SAT word scores you a 1600 or above. No! Of course, you can't go above it. It's the max score.

I was being facetious. But no. You haven't seen my score. I found a way to cheat the system. Oh, Robert, I'd be loved. I happen to get a 1632. I'd love to see your score, Robert. I think it's fantastic.

Give me some of your ideas for the Latin. We're getting too distracted by how fantastic you are. The Latin. My first idea is going to be... Erto verbum, verum i scu felices. Which, of course, you know what that translates to. Oh, I know, but I want to hear you translate it.

Of course, the English translation is, nothing's better than a Harvard man. I have to say, Evan, that did give me a tickle. Because you and I as two proud Harvard Princeton men, I do fear that that made me a bit more alienating to the rest of the student body and perfected students. Oh, that's a good point. I didn't even consider the gender of it all. Well, let me see.

Well, maybe this one. Do you have one you care to share? If you go, you go. No, darling, I want to hear yours. Oh, no, you fantastic man. I want to hear you. And that scent. Okay, so here's one I was workshopping.

I think it's a little bit more inclusive. Okay. Okay. Oh, no. Peso pesante. Oh no Peso pesante Which of course translates to Don't be poor Again, Evan

I'm loving these ideas, my darling Thank you I feel that you're continuing to alienate people more and more. You know, we have many students on financial aid with various scholarships, financial aid services. You know, not everyone can be, well, us. I thought that everybody who went to Harvard was rich. I didn't know that we were letting in poor people. Well, I may have a new motto for ye olde Grimson.

Obermatter! Kerteshare. I mean, it's not going to be as good as yours, of course. Oh, I can already smell you. You're fantastic. This one is going to be... Oh, already I can hear the power of that. What's that translation?

I'm not familiar with that verb. It means, we'll bully idiots. Oh! Oh! get to really the heart of the matter. Well, we do want to include that if people don't go here that they're very stupid. Exactly. An idea! Evan, we can combine ours in many ways. Um... What about? You know, there are some words in Latin that I've kind of forgotten in my, you know, middle age.

Oh, you're coming along little, you know, like a day over 40. What about be a smart smart? You know, words that the common folk can understand, Evan. Oh, but they're still missing that us and them. How about

be a smart smart, not a dumb dumb? No! No! And they turn into whale turkeys no I can already smell it you know what Evan is

like the Harvard version of of Marlene Spaghetti because of Marlene Spaghetti because of Marlene Spaghetti bit is that she always goes oh you're fantastic fuck she always does say that doesn't she no you're fantastic

oh I love you you're fantastic maybe Evan and Marlene you know maybe Marlene went to Harvard we don't know that you know we don't know her period of her life that chapter of her life might be a mystery she's of course an alien Maybe Evan and Marlene, you know, maybe Marlene went to Harvard. We don't know that. You know, we don't know her. We don't know. There's some lore. That chapter of her life might be a mystery. She's, of course, an alien canonically, so I don't know how that works out.

But would you like to do another review? Yeah. I got time for one more, my darling. This one is honestly in a very similar vein to yours. Again, this is for Praetor Garten in Berlin. Four stars from Janice c okay janice choplin very good janice choplin my very first beer gotten experience i enhanced wait enchanced is that a word is enchanced a word or a dum-dum and not being a smart smart i might be a

dum-dum too but i don't know what the fuck enchanced might be well you might would you mind looking it up please enchanced enchanced e-n-c-h-a-n-c-e-d okay um this is the oxford english dictionary the only known use of the word in chance is in middle english wow um and it and it isn't um i'm gonna imagine i maybe i'm being a dum-dum but i'd like to imagine that she means enhanced i think she must because i don't think enchanted is a word my very first beer gotten experience i enhanced my beer chugging skills at prater gotten in a typical glorious berlin sunshine i was holding my half a liter prater pills grinning ear to ear like some tourists who just stumbled on the best find ever super casual buzzing with a friendly crowd and lots of euro languages being thrown about

of course parentheses of course we had to sit right next to the italians everyone here just had a good time that's weird the yellow the yellow communal seating was very inviting underneath the shade of the chestnut trees the bathrooms were clean and ordering at the window is fast and easy bring your family your friends invite your tinder date parentheses yep he showed up and she was googly gaga over him or was it just the beer buzz either way fun times in berlin oh my fucking god it's funny that reminds me of like that feeling of like googly gaga being i've been at a restaurant before on a date no less congratulations thank you thank you and being at a restaurant before huh and you hear and like you can just you suddenly like are aware of the fact that someone is listening to your conversation you know what i mean and i'm guilty of it too you know what i mean you're on a

you're out to dinner and there's like some oh i love clearly just met but it's like you gotta be subtle about it you got like i have been at dinner before and realized like the couple next to me hasn't said a fucking word in 15 minutes they're just listening to our conversation so it's like you gotta be subtle oh i've never been on the other end of that yeah well it's because you're not interesting um i'm very fascinating and people want to listen to oh you're fantastic but yeah it's very strange to eavesdrop and to be eavesdropped, you know? Yes. Have you ever been goo-goo over somebody?

Well, I've certainly been googly-gagad. I'm very curious about because she says like you know invite your tinder date yep he showed up and she was googly gaga over him or was it just the beer buzz either way it makes me wonder is it like a third person

like she's referring to her tinder date who showed up right because I can't imagine that. Like a diary entry. Based on like watching a stranger like that. It's like, oh, he showed up. That's her Tinder date.

You know? Well, but maybe she was like the girl was sitting there anxious. You know what I mean? Like. Right. Like she could tell like, oh, that girl is waiting for somebody. You know what I mean? Oh, and then he showed up and she's googly gaga.

Or was it just the beer buzz? Or was it just the beer buzz? was it just the beer buzz either way fun times in berlin um i mean i don't think we need to say anything else about the uh so of course we had to sit right next to the italians um no i get that totally i would i would do the same honestly i'd be the same for sure a bunch of european languages thrown or sorry euro language is being thrown around is a crazy sentence um i have been i've been googly gaga um i've never heard the phrase googly gaga but i know what that phrase means and i mean hey listen six years in i'm still i'm still googly gaga over my guy i'm still googly gaga well no i mean i think the only time i've

googly gaga was um a few years ago i couldn't remember the name of um the person who wrote born this way so i actually had to googly gaga i don't want to do this come on that was good you you liked that. Okay, well, can I just say, to go on a double date finally and to meet you, Jason, after all this time that you have been with Heather is just like such a treat. And I'm so glad that we all got together to do this. Right? Right, Richard? Yeah, we've heard so much about you.

All good, I hope. Of course. Heather has told us, oh, I have said so much about my sweetie. I hate to embarrass you, darling. Oh, it's quite all right. Let's just say we're, we know each other pretty well already. Oh, that's so great. You know, it's, I've heard so much about you. I know that you are a high school science teacher, which is great. I know that you guys like to travel a lot. It's the kids, you know, I just, I love it. I love teaching. I always have, you know.

That's so wonderful. I've just heard so much about you. But it's funny enough, I actually don't know how you guys met. I can't believe that that was like the one piece that Heather left out. Waiter, Garçon, we're going to need another drink, please. Oh, yes, excuse me. Garçon, Garçon, another bottle for the table. He travels, that's why he can do that

he travels a lot as you can tell oh sweetie pumpkin do you want to tell the story of how we met or should I oh my little dear my little deer in the headlights oh my little fawn my little bambi

you know I think that's the noise that deer make a lot of people don't know that that's what they sound. You know, I think it's... That's the noise a deer makes. A lot of people don't know that that's what they sound like, but they do. They go... It's like a goat almost. Oh. I travel. I didn't know that.

Yeah. Richard, did you know that that's the sound that a deer makes? Yes. When I... Well, we don't need to get into why, but... Hunting. I know. We... Sorry, you guys. She hates that that i hunt i hate that he hunts and i get that um yeah why kill innocent creatures then you aren't even using them for meat or

anything you just take a photo of the carcass and then you dump the carcass well i do stuff with the meat like you know like i don't you don't eat it no but i do stuff with it I don't... You don't eat it. No, but I do stuff with it. Why don't you guys... Why don't you... Why don't you... Well, honey... Well, okay. Well, speaking of travel, we were in... It's not weird stuff.

Well, you don't eat it. I use it. That's the only things you can do with it. For, like... You guys don't want to hear about this, do you? No, I don't want to hear about it. I want to hear about how they met. I don't want to hear about what you do you? No, I don't want to hear about it. I want to hear about how they met. I don't want to hear about what you do with the deer meat that you don't eat.

I breed dogs, and I use it to feed the dogs. That's what I do with the meat. I don't personally eat it, but the dogs eat it. Oh, I didn't know that you breed. That's another big point of contention, is backyard breeding. She doesn't like that I love animals. Well, I don't think you do. I actually, I love you.

It's a very lucrative business. There it is. I actually don't think you care about the animals. Because there's no, anyway, sorry you guys. I hate to bore you with this stuff. No, that's quite all right. I mean, this is fascinating. I've never.

It's so, we were going to say that I mean, this is fascinating. I've never... It's so... We were going to say that we met in Berlin at a... Sex club. But we weren't going to... Sex club. But this is much more interesting. This is so much more interesting than that. No, no, no, no.

I want to hear about the sex club in Berlin. That actually sounds like a fascinating story. Oh, I mean... I mean, you've probably... You've heard it before. You know what I mean? You've heard it... If you've heard it once, you've heard it a million times.

The details change. But, you know, we basically, the long and the short is. Why don't you say your point of view and then I'll do mine. Okay. So I was coming into town for, a friend of mine was having a bridal shower. And that's not the only thing he was coming in. Okay. We'll get there.

Oh, no, it's the sex club. We'll get there. And, yeah, so I came into town a bridal shower. And that's not the only thing he was coming in. Okay, we'll get there. Oh, no, it's the sex club. We'll get there. And yeah, so I came into town a couple days early. We don't have to get there, by the way. You guys don't have to share. I work remote. So I thought, you know, it's very flexible.

So I thought I'd come in a few days early. That's not the only thing that's flexible. We're going to get there. We're going to get there. Again, I don't need all. I went on Google and I was, you know, and then I came, you know, a random chance. You know, Maureen's Kinky. That's not the only thing that came.

Oh, you. I think you just made that joke. Maureen's Kinky House was the name of the club. And I, well, let's just say it ticked my boxes. And that wasn't the only box I was ticking that night. The only box? Yes. And I, thank you, darling.

And I went there and I ordered a drink. And well, the bartender was this cutie right over here. Yes. Wait, I didn't, Heather, I didn't know. Oh, I don't. All the drinks I was making that night were terrible. But I had sucked off the bartender maybe an hour or so before and then he said well i'm spent why don't you get behind the bar and did he say that i don't well i can't i don't speak

german so i wasn't sure but the signals that i got is that he was gonna take a nap my turn to serve the drinks and look were the drinks terrible ab Ab-so-lutely. They were pissed. Was she a good bartender? Yes. Oh, well, sweetie. Because it's all about engaging with your customer. And let's just say, yeah, we're engaged.

Whoa. Oh, my. Oh, my God. We've been looking forward to telling you guys. I've been looking forward to meeting you. Heather, you did not. I wanted it to be a surprise, my love. It is a surprise.

I mean, what? You guys have only been together for a month? Shorter? Well, when you know you know, my love. Ten days. Ten days. When you know you know. Well, I mean. No, when you know you know, my love Ten days, when you know you know Well, I mean

No, when you know you know And it's just like Richard and I have been together for We know what that's like Yeah Garson, Garson We're gonna need a bottle of champagne For the newlyweds

They're not married They are just engaged Oh, let's be happy for them We have been together for nine years and not a ring on the singer. You said you didn't want to get... We're not doing this in front of them. Well, I will tell you my point of view. So, I was slinging...

I think we heard your point of view, right? No. You sucked off the bartender and then... That wasn't my darling Evan. Oh, I'm sorry. sorry my bad i got confused or wait is that your name yeah evan sweetie i'm your fiancee of course um well after i was done with my first caller of the evening then of course everyone was behind the bar they were wondering oh who's this who's this fresh piece of meat? Who's this fresh piece of this meat?

And that really was what we were wondering. Yes. Well, at a sex club, everyone's saying, oh, who's this fresh piece of meat? Meat, yeah. And meat. I love meat. You don't eat it. And so, have I mentioned that Richard's a vegetarian, by the way?

So it makes the hunting and the meat, it makes it all the more strange. But it's not because I don't like meat or killing. It's for the environment. Do you hear yourself when you talk? So anyway. You still eat meat, high horse. I see through the haze, but I don't go out into the forest and just shoot animals at will. Yeah, but you'll happily eat a factory farmed fucking pig for breakfast.

I see through the sea of sweaty, viscous bodies, I see one body that I want. And my man, oh man, when I tell you I felt so googly gaga as soon as I saw those eyes and cheeks of his. And I'm not talking the ones on his face. She's not talking about my ass. I knew that that was the man. If not the man I was going to marry, that was the man who I was going to let enter me that night. And the rest, as they say is history um i'm so happy for you both i do think that you guys should get i'm gonna i'm gonna assume you guys got sti checks and... Alright, that makes sense. You didn't do that.

This has been great. Really great to meet you. Really great to meet you. I think... Well, don't we have shampers coming? Oh, the sitter just called. You have kids? Yeah. Oh my gosh, I had no idea.

No, we do. We do. It's just the one who is one. Time flies. For now. We also have the 18 dogs in the back. Puppies. Puppies. Burmese mountain dogs.

Yes, except they are a little fucked up because, you know, the backyard breeding. I like to call them Burmese foothill dogs because they're a little fucked up because, you know, the backyard breed. I like to call them Burmese foothill dogs. Because they're a little smaller than normal. And he was trying to go for what if I could make like a purse-sized. Because they're so fucking big, right? You don't want one of those. They're very big dogs.

Everything about Richard is unethical. Every single part of him. Except. We're monogamous. That's the last second. This took me all week long. Scoopy doopy do. What's been shaking your ass? Well, Riley, I made a little dish called a tiramisu.

Oh, I love tiramisu. I love tiramisu. And I always forget until I make it how easy it is to make. I've never made one, is it? Oh, it's incredibly easy. Here's what you need. Eggs. Good attitude. Eggs.

A good head on your shoulders. Some head and shoulders. Some head and shoulders. Dandruff. You're dandruff. A little bit of gumption. No. i'm like cumption and so i knew you're you need eggs right and you separate the eggs get egg yolks basically you whip egg yolks marcapone sugar and cream together right and that kind of makes that like you know what you would i don't

know what you consider sort of the custard base, right, of the tiramisu. And then you get just whipped cream as well. And you get, you know, your biscuit or whatever. Lady Fingers, you can buy store-bought, make your own. You can't say that. Or you can just probably, well, that's what they're called, Lady Fingers. You can't say that. And they're delicious.

And you, you know, dip them in the espresso and you just layer it up and you grate just a little chocolate on top there you do a little chocolate powder of course in there and it's delicious that's incredible i haven't had tiramisu in a long time and that shit is fire you can whip one up in 20 minutes just let it sit you can let it sit for 24 hours in the fridge take it to a party you'll be a hero you'll be the hero that you've always wanted to be. You'll be a smart smart. That's for sure. Not a dum-dum.

Be a smart smart. Do y'all sell plasma here? We didn't touch that enough. Do y'all sell plasma here? Do y'all sell plasma here? Do y'all sell a plasma here? Do y'all sell a plasma here? You doggy Frank.

You doggy frank doggy frank i want to congratulate us on doing a um european vaguely themed episode

um without doing a sort of offensive generic european accent yes

go us go us um what's been shaking you though it's also about something i made last night oh no way a difference

um a change in your life um a difference i love one of my favorite cocktails in the world is a bee's knees and if you're wondering that it's gin lemon juice and honey simple syrup oh fuck me that sounds good it's delicious um i might relapse for that a cocktail i make more frequently it would be a gin gimlet which is gin lime juice and saint germain i love a gimlet i love a gimlet as well but um the reason why i honestly i could i could down more bees knees that I can gimlets, but it's the act of making the honey simple syrup that often deters me from doing it. Kind of a pain in the ass. It's keeps though.

And it really isn't. Keeps though. And it really isn't a pain in the ass. It's literally, you just put a couple spoonfuls of honey into a bowl of hot water and you put hot water over it and it's the same. But what I, what shook me is that I'm like, it actually you can make a bottle of it and just keep yes and i think i should just do that because i've just been doing per single serving which is silly what a waste of time because let's know you're not having one drink in a sitting i'll probably have

two if i'm doing bee's knees i'll have two and so i guess that's what's shaking me is that it's like oh I'm just a I'm just being lazy about it yeah because I could have my favorite drink and it's really it takes what five minutes for that water to boil and then like it's it's very um very easy and I think there's some nights when I'm like oh man I'd kill for a bee's knees well two time consuming to make guess I'll have a gimlet um and that's just me which I get right because the honey simple like you get the gimlet like say german you have the floral in there like you know it you could get a lavender honey syrup i bet and that i bet would be good i bet that would be good because i i fucking hate lavender and coffee but in a drink oh yeah and Yeah, in a drink, lovely.

I just need to stop being a lazy ass about it because it's like when you actually put effort into making a cocktail or anything. Turns out. It turns out. Like a podcast even. Turns out if you put effort. Turns out if you put effort into it.

We might find out one of these days. Well, we, well, we'll see. You can find Alfred on Instagram. Did you delete your Instagram? Was that true? I deleted the app. I didn't delete my account. I'll redownload it.

Don't worry. Do you want to plug or no? Yeah, still plug it. Come on. Okay. Well, you can follow Alf on Instagram, which if he ever redownloads the app, he may post something.

He probably won't post anything, but you can still follow him on AlfredInIt. I wasn't really posting when I had the app, was I? That's true. You can follow our Instagram account, ReviewReview on Instagram. You can find us on reddit r slash review review and review review discord and jeffrey james and i have a patreon

we have monthly zoom parties that's going to be a zardy uh and we had one at the time recording we had one last night which was a blast um and that is patreon.com slash riley and jeff and you can find riley on instagram.com just the web Jeff. And you can find Riley on Instagram.com, just the web browser, not the phone app, at Riley and Spot. And on Twitter.com, now known as xxxxxxxxxxx.com for as long as it lasts, at Riley Coyote. And as we say every single week on the show,

we're always saying it. We're never not. Literally never not saying it. Saying it. I suck. Literally never not saying it. Saying it. I suck off the bartender.

I suck off the bartender. We'll see you next time. I suck off the bartender. Bye. Bye. Bye! Nature filled with dignity and grace Yeah! It's hair on nose, hair on manner, hair is never hair, it's neater My past, present, future Yeah

I can't let it be neater The other kids might see it And I feel the need to tease her But it's only cause they're in jail, oh Everybody wanna squeeze her Touching that little baby ball on your nose Makes me feel it in my body from my head to my toes You could see the whole country to be selling old shows

Just as more people see it, popularity grows They'll be standing in line waiting for hours Coming in front of the countries and believing in flowers Telling all their friends of all their magical encounters And just a thin one touched this well it had superpowers Imagine that you're holding a marble in your hand But the sign is made of velvet and the inside makes of gem A heavenly relationship like God to Abraham

And we're just all beholders Cause we're in the promised land Now I could go on describing the best feeling in the world But you really should be striving on your own to find this girl Let's go for a favor So tell what you know That she holds the key

To feel eternally alone That was a HeadGum Original.