Review Revue - Beginner Guitars

Episode Date: April 21, 2020

Reilly and Geoff discuss bad guitars, Zoom Greek Easter, and auctioning off toys for millions of dollars!Be sure to give the show a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts, and include your pitch for an episode idea! We'll choose yours, or we won't!Follow Reilly and Geoff:IG: @reillyanspaugh & @iamgeoffreyjamesTwitter: @reilecoyote & @dontplaynojamesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Get that Angel Reef special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? I'm participating in restaurants for a limited time. My sleep schedule is so fucked up.

I keep going to bed at 3 a.m and then waking up at noon it's not my fault i can't go to sleep any earlier like i try and it's just i just lie there awake and then i'm like if i'm gonna be awake anyways i might as well like read or something anyway should we start keep that in there Now the theme song comes in. You make me want to go out and steal. I just want to rip you. Sunday vibes with my Sunday tribe, master, mistress, host of a ghost on a game show. And she doesn't make a big show of it. And that was sort of a ghost on a game show, and she doesn't make a big show of it. And that was sort of a slam poetry.

Jeff just had a stroke, and I watched him on FaceTime. I feel very helpless, because I can't go over there to get him, to help him out. I'm very disheveled right now. Disheveled? Disheveled?

Disheveled. Jeff is wearing a headband, if you can believe it. So my hair, I mean, I'm sure a lot of guys' hairs are getting crazy, but my hair is starting to just go all every which way. So I've started wearing hats and headbands. Let me see.

I mean, it's not that bad, but it's like getting there. Like it's getting, it's really greasy. Go like, go like, go like. He's insane. Oh my God. Ew. No, it wasn't that bad. Oh my God.

My eyes. Don't say ew. Oh my god, my eyes! Don't say ew. That actually makes me feel like shit. She just threw up in her mouth. Daniel and I watched Young Frankenstein the other night, and I forgot how great it just reminded me of the moment. You've seen Young Frankenstein. Not for a long time.

Okay, well, but you know of it. And when Gene Wilder gets on the train and he meets me he meets igor or igor and he he pats the hump on his shoulder accidentally and it just makes a really hollow sound like and it reverberates and gene wilder just goes oh maybe i'll watch Maybe I'll re-watch Young Frankenstein tonight. So that's what your hair gave my reaction. You know, I'm a pretty fantastic surgeon. I can help you out with that hump. What hump?

Let's go. I'm just quoting Young Frankenstein now. That's the pod. That's where the song My Humps came from. It was Mel Brooks penned My Humps in the 60s. Mel Brooks. Mel lovely lady Brooks. So that's it for the show today, guys.

Thanks so much. We'll see you next week or not. Jeffrey, what's the date? Oh my God. It's April 19th 19th 2020 it's getting april's flown by for me march felt like a lifetime and april's zooming by pun intended well yeah because of the the meeting thing yeah video chats yeah um um no it really is i i remember because april 1st was like when calling my dad came out and

that felt like it was last week but it was two weeks ago almost three actually feels like a long time ago to me so i'm right we should also we should we should talk about uh so good morning we said last week was going to come out on wednesday april 15th uh but apparently sif streams is only geo tracked toacked to people in Ohio. But it will be out this Wednesday, April 22nd. And we do mean it this time. It's going to be available for everybody

on filmshortage.com. And so that'll be the widespread release of it. The premiere. Yeah. So, sorry for the false start, but if you're still interested and you haven't gotten bored of it. But hey, hopefully we whet your appetite. What was that? You know, hopefully we whet your appetite.

I've been thinking about taking a dialect class virtually because I want to learn how to speak strange voices. I could teach you that for free. Yeah, but then I'd have to call you and suddenly we're on the phone for over an hour and a half and I'd rather do it with someone who isn't even... A thing I've seen trending on Twitter is the concept now of now that no one has anywhere to be, how do

we end phone calls? Yeah. There's someone who said, you know, I used to end phone calls with, well someone who said like you know i used to end phone calls with well i'll let you go and someone finally called him out on it being like no no don't put that on me yeah you're the one who's wanting to leave i'm happy to stay and talk yeah i actually do clock that when people say that because then i'm like did i say no i don't have anywhere to be and they're like oh no you seem busy like no I don't I'll let you get back to it usually I just have been saying like well I'm gonna go write or like I'm gonna go eat and then like I usually do but sometimes I just

procrastinate right sometimes I'm just like I'm just like oh man I'm sorry I'm really tired I I'm gonna nap half of doing anything is not doing the thing right so it's like if you say you're writing 50% of that writing time is also you scrolling Instagram if you say you're cooking half of that is also like fucking up the recipe and having to start all over again yeah I tell people I'm a

writer and for me it's like I am a writer because I'm sitting watching Instagram stories because it's all material and that's what people don't understand it's all material so it's like I'll be like I am a writer because I'm sitting watching Instagram stories because it's all material and that's what people don't understand it's all material so it's like I'll be like I'm a writer time to go write and then I'll watch three episodes of RuPaul's Drag Race so I'll go on like a trans American

like train journey and people will be like why are you taking a vacation you've done nothing this year I say no this is the writing alright because after this I'll have the book this is the doing the thing is the writing but the writing isn't the writing no the writing that's the because it writes itself if you do something interesting it writes itself and i don't even have to write it i don't even have to like

put pen to paper put finger to keyboard because you put foot to ground you put your one foot in front of the other yeah across i was walking out the door. This is you explaining to a customs agent what the purpose of your visit is. It's for work. You're going to Sandals Beach Resort. Yeah. Hemingway used to be by the sea. And I think that's all I have to say. Well, actually, you're going to need to tell me how long you're here.

Are you traveling with anyone? I'm traveling with me, myself, and I. I'm ambidextrous when I write. Can I go? Jeff did just say me, myself, and I. And myself and I, he referenced each of his hands. Yeah. Also, I think I'm starting to sell tickets to the gun show.

Goes to Flex but takes out a shotgun. Two tickets to the gun show oh tackled sorry don't sorry don't don't let your voice get that high no but it's just like not to get off track from the pod but what are we even talking about today? Riley's wearing what looks to be a wedding dress. I'm sorry. It's a white linen summer gown with gold earrings. I texted Riley saying, what time do you want to record today? And she says, I have a hard out at three for a virtual, or what was it? A Zoom Greek Easter.

Some of Daniel's family friends, my dear friends, are Greek. And so today is Orthodox Easter. And so we're doing a Greek Easter over Zoom. Just the sentence of, I have a heart out at three for a Zoom Greek Easter. I would have never thought someone would have said that. Because the woman, for when you, guys, for when you see Good Morning, the woman who plays Aunt Jane is a dear, dear friend, family friend of Daniel Rashid's, dear friend of mine. She is hosting Greek Easter.

She is Greek. So that's a little insider trading. Did I say trading? I meant knowledge. I partake in insider trading. Yeah. So you just admitted to a federal offense. White collar or otherwise on air.

And I'm not going to edit that out. White collar or otherwise on air. And I'm not going to edit that out. White collar crime, white dress. Dress for the crime you commit. Dress for the crime I commit. And I commit white collar crimes, but I wear a dress. You're going to get mauled in prison. You have a button nose. You won't last two weeks.

I'm nervous. Of course. What are we even... Like, why are we... Like, what's the point? What's the point of the podcast or what's the topic? What's the point of the topic? Because you started to ask the topic and then you started being like, why are we even here?

I guess both. We're here to make money. That's it. There's no joy in it. It's not to spread joy. It's not to have fun. No, that's right. That's right.

Well, what are we talking about today to do that? We're talking about beginner guitars which we picked because well so i think i mentioned it last week but i've been playing guitar a lot it's like been i feel like everybody should have a quarantine hobby that you're trying to get really good at because everybody's like oh i don't have the time now we only have the time you're not doing get really good at because everybody's like, oh, I don't have the time. Now we only have the time. And if you don't, you're not doing quarantine right. Everyone's saying, oh, there's no right way to do it. There's no right way. There's no right way to do it.

Well, there is, right? If you haven't written a fucking novel, if you haven't gotten a six pack, if you haven't started, you know, selling tickets to the gun show, if you haven't become a virtuoso of sorts then what the fuck are you doing come on no i mean like a lot of people are stressed out and like oh a lot of people oh i'm stressed oh shut the fuck up and i'm serious about this you look very ill are you are you tested positive i'm positively

i'm positively ill and productive i'm reading through the pages that you sent on the first few chapters all this is gibberish it was clearly written in a fever dream i don't i'm not sick i'm not sick i mean take the take the quarantine as you will but I've been having a lot of fun it takes my mind off of things to play guitar um but at the same time and I also just upgraded I just bought a new guitar a new you new to me guitar use the guitar but uh off reverb and so I'm doing away with my my squire I'm probably gonna keep it but I just won't play it. Which is like a pretty good beginner guitar. But I just figured there have to be just hunks of junk out there. Define a beginner guitar.

Like, they all have strings. Yeah. Yeah, they all have strings. I think, well, no, the whole thing is like, they're cheap, but also cheaply made. So like, what's going to get you able to get started for the lowest price? Because what if you hate it?

You don't want to have spent 500 bucks on a guitar you don't like. Here's a funny story. So I started playing guitar when I was like, 10, maybe. And took lessons, got a beginner guitar, did the whole thing. I've been playing, like I should, actually, let's say I started when I was like 12. I think 12, probably.

Let's just say I should have, I should be able to say I've been playing for 12 years. If I've been doing something for 12 years, I should be pretty fucking good at it. Right. Do I practice every day? No. No. Do I pick it up maybe once every couple of weeks?

Sure. No. Sometimes, maybe a couple of months. Yeah. And I don't have beginner guitar anymore because like i can play but it's like i've reached a point where it's like i know a few songs from memory i know some like finger picking progressions i know stairway to heaven i know blackbird i know brown eyed girl like all of those you know so i'm at the point where it's like i can impress at

parties do i need to do i need to keep learning i don't know you know yeah i mean you only have to take a hobby as far as you want i don't know why you're so defensive no it's like i know all i know all the chords if i you know i know the basic ones and i can learn them quickly if i go on guitar tabs i can learn i can learn a lot of the song that's all you need well all that i'm saying is like if i'm not slash why the fuck am i playing guitar then sell the guitar and stop playing don't come in here with the sour attitude what what no that's not what you're supposed to say what do you want me to say no never stop no never stop okay i was do you have a review oh what were you going to say

I was going to say that I was in that intermediate stage of like I can play chords I can play songs but I don't know scales I look at the neck and I only I barely get it I can play songs that I know from memory but I don't understand why I can play them

why the chords make each thing finally found out the caged system Songs that I know from memory, but I don't understand why I can play them, why the chords make each thing. Finally found out the CAGED system. So C-A-G-E-D. Basically, each, whatever the key is, that just, it's like a continuous loop that goes infinitely, infinitely around the neck. So anyway, I just started learning how scales bleed into one another. So now I'm starting to learn how to like jam. And that's fun. That's like, you don't even need to, you don't need to memorize anything.

Just throw on a backing track and just play. And it like, it's been bringing me so much joy. I've been playing for over a decade and I didn't know that. I've been playing probably similarly since I was 12 or 13. And I didn't know that till last've been playing probably similarly since i was 12 or 13 and i didn't know that till last week but it's like really good i don't know why no one explains it that simply i watched this video from this guy and i was like this makes total sense now i look at the neck and i know exactly where to go but before it was it was nothing it was like um it was nebulous should we read some reviews of some beginner guitars why don don't you go first? Because I only have one.

Okay, here we go. This is for, this is, you know, I have some for like beginner guitars for adults and teens. This is for a beginner guitar for a child. It's, here's the full title on Amazon. Kid beginner guitar, classical guitar, acoustic guitar guitar acoustic guitar half half size 30 inch nylon strings with bag clip tuner extra strings picks wipe wipe yeah um here's it's uh from i'm not gonna say the last name so len m what's the m stand for? Let's go with margin. Margin? Yeah. Len Margin, one star, January 14th, 2020. Not a playable instrument.

The instrument does look like a guitar, but the inclusion of a tuner and a pick implies that one can play this guitar. Please don't make the mistake of buying this for a child in preparation for their first guitar lesson. The poor quality tuning machine heads make it almost impossible to tune. And, once the open strings are tuned, chords played are not in tune.

I returned the product. There are many low-priced guitars available that are both tunable and playable. This is not one of them. Is it a sculpture? I don't understand why this is up for auction. This is Sotheby's. This is supposed to be luxury auctions. No, that's what I'm saying.

I don't even think you know what you're saying. What I'm saying is it's a piece of art. Okay. It's music. But it's not. It's not. Listen, I have been in the music industry for 40 years. I'm submitting this because although it does look like a guitar and, you know, it has strings on it, here's a pick, it's not one. You honestly, like, I feel like I could submit this and it'll be worth a billion dollars.

Let's start it at $30, right? This is a toy. And you're toying with us, which I don't appreciate. I don't know if this is a toy. And you're toying with us. Which I don't appreciate. I don't know if this is performance art. Are you Banksy? Because we've been trolled by Banksy before. Listen, I appreciate that you feel my artistic energy and that you can compare me to such a legend,

but I'm just trying to give you this piece of art. You're either an idiot or a genius. There's nothing in between. You're either one of the best artists of our generation and this is like trolling luxury auctions or you're an idiot who brought a toy to us to sell for way above market value. Hey, well why don't we put it up and see what happens? Fine. Cut to the auction. We're starting the bidding at, this is

insane, 1.3 million. $1.3 million. $1.3 million. Are you kidding? It's at least going to sell for that now. Another paddle. Multiple paddles go up. What's your bid? What's your bid?

$1.7 million. Huge jump. You didn't need to make it that... Are you kidding me? And there's still paddles raising. I got nervous. What about you? What about you?

$1.9 million. This is unbelievable. What about you? What about you? 1.9. This is unbelievable. 2.5. The whole room gasped. All right, we've got 2.5 going once, going twice, last chance. One billion dollars. This was your item. Don't bid on your own shit.

2.5 is still the going rate. Sold. What do you mean? I bid. You can't just give it to the lower bid. You bid on your own item. That's against the rules. I know you don't have a billion dollars.

I got gems. I know you don't have a billion dollars. Dude, you're at home with the guitar. The fake, not fake guitar you just bought for $2.5 million. I can't believe I got this for such a steal. You have it at your house. You brought me home after a first date. You're showing me all the things in your house. So this was actually picked up at your house. You brought me home after a first date. You're like showing me all the things in your house. So this was actually picked up at an auction.

It was at the time one of the most expensive guitars ever bought. Oh my God. It looks like a, what is it? Like a, you know, a really old, like, you know, from 1800s, like classical guitar for a child. 2009, I think. I believe it was a dummy guitar so it didn't play so it was kind of performance art I am the heir to an oil fortune and I spend my money poorly how much did this cost this this guitar this guitar was yeah 2.5 million. Can you play it?

Like, does it sound beautiful? Well, okay, so I think you can't, but I couldn't even test it because I have no musical ability. I was born basically with everything handed to me, and I have no even hobbies, like let alone talent, but I have no interests.

What do you mean you think you can't play it? If someone walks in here who can play guitar and they take that guitar off the wall, it won't work. They won't play. But it has strings on it. I mean, I'm no virtuoso, but I know a couple chords. I could imagine that.

The tuner knobs are bad. I don't think they even work. It's a toy. But you paid $2.5 million for it. Well, it's art. I thought it was art, and I think it is art. Because if I have to... You thought it was, and I thought it was art, and I think it is art. Because if I have to... You thought it was, and you think it is?

I have to think it is. Because if it isn't, then I spent $2.5 million on a children's play thing, basically. So, I think we're gonna... Do you want to have sex? I think we're gonna... It was on track for that, right? It was. No, it totally was on track for that.

What changed? You spent $2.5 million on a toy. Okay. Not even like a cool vintage toy or not even like a Muppet. You didn't even buy a fucking Muppet. You bought a guitar. What's the title? Could I look it up?

I believe, and don't quote me on this. I have to check the papers because it did come with a certificate of authenticity. It's insane. This should not have come with papers acoustic electric guitar snapback six string with a wireframe bezel comes with pick comes with tuner wipe wipe that's the that's the last word yeah wipe what does that mean well i guess when the original owner bought it, it came with a cloth. Would you like me to perform oral sex on you tonight? No.

I'm actually looking up the title of that guitar, the name of the guitar. Oh, it's on Amazon. It's actually $50 on Amazon. Okay. Okay. But that was before. Because when you pay a certain amount, it becomes valued at that. So this guitar is worth $2.5 million.

Because I bought it at that. Well, that specific one is. Yeah. And it's not valued at that. It costs that. Yeah, but somebody paid that much for it, which means that that's what the value is. You paid that much for it. I have so many regrets.

What else have you bought? So this is a cozy coupe that I was convinced was a Bugatti. It was $18,000. Sorry, $1.8 million. I forgot the zeros. That's a very big difference. I forgot the zeros. I'm going home. Do you want me to drive you home?

In the coupe? That's all I have. The toy. I didn't think it was, but yeah, it's a toy now that I look at it in a certain light. Yeah, drive me home in the coupe. I don't care anymore. It's a great story. I'm a writer and this is my writing.

It takes like an hour to get home because he's just shoving the car ahead with his feet. Flintstones style. Well, this is me. Wow, you are poor um should we take a quick break still we've only had the manscape sponsor so i guess this is the time of the show where we call marty out this is the part this is the new segment called what happened marty marty dude it's been like it's been seven weeks since this quarantine started i mean what happened man that's seven weeks what happened what have you been are you even doing quarantine right marty we were supposed to be sponsored by blue chew and that never came through what happened we should have had we should have had blue apron and hello fresh

fighting over us what What happened, Marty? Marty, it used to be fun. What happened, Marty? I haven't seen you smile in seven months. What happened, Marty? Marty, I'm closer with your dad than you are. What happened there, Marty? Marty, you know how your dog Delilah keeps running away?

She always runs to my house. What happened, Marty? Unconditional love? I don't know, man. It doesn't seem for you. What happened, Marty? What happened, Marty? That was a great segment of this week's What Happened, Marty?

We'll catch you after this one break, Marty. marty and we're back imagine sunday april 19th and i'm sad as shit cloudy outside my sunny where i am my calls no it is oh well it's sunny and i'm in a linen dress and drinking whoa whoa whoa i'm wearing a shirt that i'm drinking water sorry i'm not just drinking it's two thirty jesus it's two thirty i'm black out as shit it's not good for you yeah uh no i am only drinking water right now. Well, I'll probably have like an old-fashioned later, but I am drinking water in this current moment. Four stars. From Steven M.

What's the M? Steven Mom. This is a review of Kid Beginner Guitar, classical guitar, acoustic guitar, half size, nylon strings with bag clip tuner, extra strings picks wipe. this is the same guitar is it the exact same one yes oh wow okay this was like a couple pages deep into an amazon search so this is i know very serendipitous thank you my three-year-old is enamored with daddy's guitar

and asked for one just like it for Christmas. Now, I really wanted a steel string since it's what he'll likely end up playing if he really takes it up, has a narrower neck than classical, which is easier for small fingers since they develop the strength, and should stand up to some rough toddler strumming. I imagine nylon strings wouldn't hold up. Also, like daddy's, I found a few options for 30-inch steel string acoustics, and the other ones I tried were absolutely unplayable. This one's a little rough around the edges, appearance, fit, and finish-wise by comparison, but it's still decent-looking, and more importantly, it is playable.

I want everything I have to be like daddies. What? At show and tell, and I'm five. This is my leather-bound checkbook. And I actually have the same model as my daddies. And so that's what I'm bringing to Show and Tell today. So does anyone have any questions? Sweetie, I think you should try not to take your dad's checkbook.

That is his account, right? Oh, no, no, no. It's my own account. No, it's not my daddy's. I'm saying it's like daddy's. It's like daddy's, but it's mine. You have an account with JPMorgan Chase? Mm-hmm.

How much cash do you have? $3.50. The annual fees alone are going to bleed you dry. My last item is this little mini set of keys. I have keys to all my different homes and these are keys that even mom doesn't know about because just like daddy i have a playhouse in the back and daddy has another house that he goes to on weekends wait a second what what house well you know it's like daddy says it's it's it you know, he's like, well, Samantha, you have your playhouse in the backyard.

You go there when you need a break from it all. And I have my house that I go to when I need a break from it all. And so he gave me a little set of keys to match his. I'm friends with your mother. You know I have to tell her about this, right? Well, my mom knows that I have the keys in the playhouse. No, not that. Obviously.

That your dad has a separate home? Yeah, he calls it more of a daddy getaway. Does he ever talk about other people that are at the house? He says, you know how I like to bring my dolls into the house with me? He's got some dolls of his own. He has sex dolls? No, I think it's just more of what he calls his female friends. I have to call your mom.

I'll be right back. One of the other kids. So how do I open a checking account? Oh, if you come sit right this way. Also, I'm imagining a kid that's really only interested in dad's hobbies. No, I think dad is... Well, dad's cool. Dad is my idol. Mom is there. Mom is... Well, dad's cool. Daddy's my idol.

Mom is there. Mom is... I'm just there? You're there. What's cool about daddy and what's there about me? Well, you're there all the time. Daddy's barely here ever.

So, of course I idolize him even though you do all the work. So you're there for me, you love me, but I'm used to it and I expect it. Then when daddy gives me even the slightest nod of encouragement, it means the world to me i mean what choice do i have am i are you

telling me to not care about if i don't care about you then you'll love me more no i like not really respecting you i like like everything's good now i don't like this as your mom i don't like feeling i don't like when you talk to me this way i don't like feeling, I don't like when you talk to me this way. I don't like feeling that you don't respect me. Okay. So what I'm saying is, what can I do for us to work on our relationship? Also, you're six. I can't believe you have any idea of a concept of abandonment and respect. No, it's just, you're not listening to me.

Dad takes me to cool things on weekends that he gets me. Maybe, what, once a month? So I look forward to that but i don't look forward to like every other day of the month when i'm with you and you're providing for me and cooking and you know driving me to in school from school right before you go to work and then pick me up from school after care after you get out of work like it's a lot of work for you but that means that you're cranky and not fun dad gets the fun parts and i give him the fun so what you're saying is that i'm stuck there's nothing i can do at this point i hate to be the bearer of bad news but you're done dad has freedom and he gets to ride motorcycles

i'll take motorcycle riding lessons for you a bath is like the highlight of your week i fought tooth and nail to win sole custody. And I do appreciate it because I like what I get from you. It's just not fun. I mean, it's necessary, obviously. But like, when was the last time you and I pretended to drink beer, but it was just soda? And dad had the beer. When was the last time dad smoked a cigarette that smelled a little weird

and i had a gum cigarette as a joke right i think i think because last night you made peas and you cried while you i could hear you crying while you steamed them so that's the difference between you and dad. I didn't know that you could hear me over the steaming of the peas. Steamed peas don't wail like a teapot. They're silent. They silently steam. And your crying was loud.

Sometimes the air escapes the peas, so that's maybe what you heard, is the air escaping the steamer. I don't think so. Go to your room. Okay. the air escaping the i don't think so go to your room okay just saying dad would never do that i think it's so self-aware it's like no i know that like i am your life i am your entire life and you gave up your life for me and And I don't know, it just seems kind of like, uh-uh. It's like, you gave up your life for me,

and there's just nothing to look forward to, because I know what's to come. Every time Dad comes around, I don't know what's going to happen. And I'm scared. I don't know if or when I'm going to eat with Dad, but that's part of the fun. But if we do get a meal it's usually barbecue it's usually barbecue and it's usually like i'll have the leftovers also every time i go to dad's house it's somewhere different i have one more Right? Come on. I didn't say anything. This is for a Yamaha FG-800 Acoustic from Ramco.

Two stars. December 8th, 2018. Got a defected guitar. I got a used guitar with two different colors on the front maybe i was not lucky enough to get a good one the yamaha fg 800 is a very very good guitar the bad review is for the bad guitar that i got wait it was a different it wasn't the guitar he ordered no it was the guitar here he's like no this guitar is good the bad review i'm leaving is for the bad guitar that i have so he doesn't even own the guitar no he has it he got no, this guitar is good. The bad review I'm leaving is for the bad guitar that I have. So he doesn't

even own the guitar. No, he has it. He got a defective one. I do like the idea of someone leaving a review for a guitar that they don't have. Oh, this guitar? This guitar is great. I don't own it, and the one I have is garbage. The one I have is really bad, but this one seems awesome.

Oh my god, look at the bolt-on neck. There's the rosewood. This is amazing. But this one, it seems awesome. Oh, my God. Look at the bolt-on neck. There's the rosewood. This is amazing. I don't have it. What I have, I don't even think you can call a guitar. I put twine in between two pots. And when you strum it, it sounds like air.

But this Yamaha is just gorgeous. But unfortunately, I am leaving a two-star review for my pot strings. Because I don't have what I want. Because I don't have what I want. And sometimes if you leave a negative review, the business will make it up to you. So imagine Yamaha sending me this guitar for free because I left the review. And then I delete the review and I have the guitar. And then I leave a good review.

Suddenly, that's the circle of life. I think that answered your question. I just asked, you know, here at Berklee College of Music, our interviews are based on, like, where did your love of music start? And so now that I'm hearing that you tried to fraud a very famous instrument manufacturer, I don't know how we can move forward with your application. Okay.

Well, here's the thing. Also, you haven't given your in-person audition yet, and now that I know that you play, sorry, you said you put strings on two pots? Twine, yeah. Pots, yeah. I can't imagine that would sound anything bad. Okay.

But I'm here, and at least we're talking about something. Yeah, I guess. That's what music is all about. I guess you're here. Well, no, music is actually about the music, not us sitting in a room talking about your essay. It's about bringing people together. It's about making noise, good or bad.

And it's about spreading a message. Absolutely. Yeah. My message is, hey, Yamaha, you better give me the JC100. So here's the thing. I'm looking at your application right now. I'm looking through. Here's your test scores, your information.

I'm getting to the SA part, and as we mentioned before, the SA is talking about the Yamaha. It really is just a bunch of screen grabs of Amazon reviews that you left for this company. So I can't let this slide whistle in to our school. I get that. I get that. And I just, let me present my final case though. I'm sitting here in front of you. You guys flew me to Boston for this interview. What do you have to lose? What if I end up being really good once I get a guitar?

Once you get, but you're taking spot that'd be you taking your spot. I can't believe I'm even entertaining this thought. That'd be you taking a spot away from let's say a girl who's been playing guitar since before she could walk, who is an absolute virtuoso and is here to hone her skills yeah but we've

seen that before i mean that's everybody every year there's a maggie rogers coming out every year and she's the new joni mitchell all right and joni mitchell was the new fucking i don't i don't know but i'm just saying like i come in here having no prior music knowledge i don't even know what a g is and suddenly i blossom into fucking the the new the new the next new industry plant really i i because i think that if i'm here the industry will take a second look at me and then be like yeah i think he's the next guy he's he's got next interestingly enough you did write in your sorry well you did screen grab a tweet that you said that said, I don't know what a G is, but I know that I am a G. Yeah, so that was a little bit of a joke.

I thought you guys might like humor because sometimes artists use humor. Listen, I think that your love or your want of a love of this industry, your desire to love music, or your want of a love of this industry. Talent for, please, talent for. Your desire to love music. Because you don't really love it yet. You have an idea of what you think it is, but your want to enjoy it is very high. And I think go take some lessons.

We can have one of our students here tutor you for a bit. Apply in a couple years. I don't think you're necessarily ready for this. I don't think you should be at a school fully dedicated to music. I mean, what better place to learn how to play guitar than at one of the best music schools in the country? No, I think that's where the basic misunderstanding is, is that this isn't where you come to learn to play it.

This is like you have been playing it. How do we make you better? Hone your skills, hone your artistry, help you find your voice. Okay, no. You don't have a voice yet. Now you're not getting it. Now you're not getting it.

You don't start going to the gym once you're already jacked. You go to the gym to get jacked and then you go, you know, get chicks basically. Yeah, I think this interview's done. Of course! I can't believe we paid for your flight. Well, my

application was pretty impressive, and do you want to hear the twine? I brought my pots. Sure, I would love to hear the twine. Did you play it? That was it, yeah. It doesn't really resonate. So it was air. That's what I said. I said it sounded like air. I didn't believe you, but now that totally makes sense.

You know, now I'm starting to get pissed off a little bit, because why did you fly me down here if you weren't even going to entertain the idea? I don't know. I really don't know why we did that. I think one of the people who works for admissions thought it was a goof, and they think I'm a bit of a stickler, and so they were just trying to pull a fast one on me my neck is my neck is hurting from when you punched me five seconds ago what wait what i might have to sue i've never even i've never even no oh hit me again

stop hitting yourself i've never touched you oh i've never i've never stopped that you did this to me unless i get in unless i get in if i i'm admitted right now then i. You did this to me. Unless I get in. Unless I get in. If I'm admitted right now, then I did it to myself. This is awful. I'm laughing because I'm nervous. I'm nervous too because you keep beating the shit out of me in your office. No, I'm not beating the shit out of you.

With no cameras and no witnesses. So it's your word against mine. Five year end. Bring your pot and your twine. Cut to the Grammys in 10 years. I want to thank Alicia Jansen. She believed in me from the very beginning. So would you please stand up, Alicia?

She's my date. No. Well, we didn't. Yeah, I guess we hadn't talked about it. We'll talk about it later. Thanks for this. Rock and roll about it later. Thanks for this. Rock and roll will never die. Unless it does.

Unless it does. I have one last one-sentence review. Yeah, I only brought one this week. I was really struggling to find things that weren't just, this thing's junk. I have to go in like three minutes. Go, okay. things that weren't just this thing's junk i have to go in like three minutes go okay i think this is for uh fender fa1 15 two oh sorry three stars linda b it's the b stand for bickartney bickartney linda bickartney on december 4th 2015 the box is nice i will only rate after Christmas. It's a gift. The box is nice.

So. Your box is nice. I mean, your box is good, but I don't want to, I mean, I don't want to open it until the third day. I won't rate until after Christmas because I'm away with my family. We haven't really gotten to know each other. Yeah, I get that. Your box is nice. I just wanted to compliment you on your box. God, so crass, so blue.

I have two. Okay. One, Daniel and my sister's birthdays and my mom's and my stepbrothers are all coming up within two weeks of each other. And I will be with Daniel and my sister in quarantine for theirs. And theirs are three days apart from one another. So figuring that out that's what's shaking me continuing to shake me still on the present hunt because daniel and i like to get each other like experiences as gifts and as we are staying at home i'm figuring it out

of course um what really shook me though is a week ago today i made an olive oil cake and it was really fucking good. I just gotta say it was amazing. But me, an idiot, I'm an idiot. As I was wearing oven mitts, as I was taking it out of the oven, I burned my wrist and it's been a- Oh, that's gnarly. Oh no, but like this looks a million times better. I'll send you a photo of what it was immediately after.

This is it now. No, it looks like her father grabbed her wrist turned it over and burned her with a with a cigar in the 1940s um so that's been really shaking me and it was really wild and immediately after that i watched uh killing eve and then the premiere of run so that's some more phebe Waller-Bridge content. But yeah, what's shaking me is just been watching my body regenerate skin. It's a very crazy thing to me. Jesus. That's so intense.

Watching it regenerate on a second degree burn. Thankfully, it didn't blister or anything, but I'm like, wow, watching my body heal itself has been crazy. Did you just like absolutely yelp like was it really painful it was it was quick like it's not too big but it's like it was like i also there was like a four-year-old in the next room so i had to just be like oh god and i just immediately had it under cold water and it wasn't a big enough reaction for everyone in the room to be like what's what's happening? And I just had to quietly to my sister be like, I think I just burned myself.

Let's get some ice. Yeah, I wouldn't I would not have been able to contain myself whether there's a four year old or not. I'm going to be a very bad influence on my nephew and nieces. So what's been shaking you? Yeah, what's been shaking me? I mentioned it earlier. The caged system. on my nephew and nieces. So what's been shaking you? Yeah, what's been shaking me? I mentioned it earlier. The caged system.

So if anybody's trying to learn guitar and how to solo, check that out. There's a video on, there's tons of videos on YouTube, but they just explain how pentatonic scales slide into each other. So you can like put on a song and be like, oh, this is in the key of G. And then I know all this,

like where to go on the neck. And so, yeah, I've just like, it's been a very fun way to pass the time. And I've never been able to do it before in my life so it's just been like hitting that goal this is it was what I wanted to do at the beginning of quarantine and took like a few weeks to kind of get I'm not all the way there but like to even be able to do it a little bit is so rewarding and so much fun and uh I've probably been annoying my neighbors with it but it's a lot that's really cool yeah also I made a uh I my neighbors with it, but it's a lot of fun. That's really cool. Yeah. Also, I made a post.

I think I mentioned this already, but still adding to my post-quarantine fuck it list. So it's just things that I want to do once quarantine is over. Oh, that's nice. That's right. You did mention it. Yeah. One of them is skydive with you. I'm not doing that. Well, you said you wouldn't, but I know that you'll come around.

No, that won't happen. Okay. For sure. For sure. I'll do something with you but uh it won't be that okay well what if uh but the skydive place is in santa barbara so we could just get a group and whoever wants to go can skydive and then whoever what doesn't want to go can just come on the plane or just chill somewhere else i yeah i think so you can definitely chicken out at the last minute oh well i'm not gonna do it i will i will ride in the plane.

I think it'd be fun. I definitely want to do a weekend trip with friends somewhere. Yeah. After all this, because I used to do that in college with my improv troop. And now I'm not in college or on an improv troop. So we are in the school of life and the improv troop is you and me once a week. All right. Well, I got gotta go because I have a Greek Easter a Zoom Greek Easter which sounds like a lightning storm

formation it does watch Good Morning this week tomorrow Wednesday tomorrow Wednesday April 22nd we will post about it on our Instagrams follow Riley at Instagram at Riley and spa Riley and Twitter at Riley

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And thank you, Manscaped. Okay. Goodbye, everyone. All right. This review is from Davis Spire. Five stars on Apple Podcasts. Be sure to leave your own five-star review in the voice of the show, and we'll read it on air or not. This podcast is like the whiplash a steadfast fisherman gets when he misses a big catch. That cod was fast. Riley is an old

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much love. So that's it guys. Thank you so much for listening this week. Never had to end the episode on my own. It's very jarring and it doesn't feel good. So thank you guys. Leave a five star review. Be sure to listen to and it doesn't feel good. So thank you guys. Leave a five-star review. Be sure to listen to any episodes you may have missed. DM us. Send us your reviews.

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