Review Revue - Best of 2021 (Part 1)

Episode Date: December 21, 2021

On this special episode of Review Revue, Geoff, Reilly, and a special guest listen back to what YOU... yes YOU; the wonderful, appreciated, and cursed audience voted to be some of the BEST SKETCHES OF 2021.    Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjames Twitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardee <><> Edited by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fm  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. And participating restaurants for a limited time. This is a HeadGum Original. I can be Rodney, I can be June, I can be dry in the eye. I can be Oli, I can be Oli, I can be anything but rye.

I can be Rodney, I can be June, I can be dry in the eye. I can be Oli, I can be Oli, I can be anything but rye. I can be Rodney, I can be June, I can be dry in the eye. I can be Oli, I can be Oli, I can be June, I can be dry in the eye, I can be Oli, I can be Oli, I can be anything but rye. I can be Rodney, I can be June, I can be dry in the eye, I can be Oli, I can be Oli, I can be anything but rye. And did I mention that my... Yeah. Sorry, no, what were you going to say?

No, I just like... Did you mention your what? My dusty ass. I can be Rodney, I can be June, I can be dry in the eye. I can be Oli, I can be Oli, I can be anything but Rye. Rye and Jeff do a podcast and it's all right, I guess. I can review, they can review. I'd expect nothing less, right?

Start the damn show. So that came in from Nate Porteous, beloved patron. Nate Porteous, that was incredible. I'm going to be a pro-league. Have you read that? Plugs, oh, for little old him? Well, if you insist, just his Twitch stream stream twitch.com forward slash conception sr that's k-o-n-c-e-p-t-i-o-n-s-r that was phenomenal that was phenomenal absolutely incredible um but we're not here to talk about nate porteous like as much as we love him really

quick one thing i will say about the theme song is that i love there was a june reference and june is not a character i've ever done on this show. It is from something that is completely different to Review Review but it still has carried over. Yeah, it's the lore of it all. It's the lore of it all. But we're not here to talk about that. We're not here to talk about Rodney. Oh, we might. We'll

see. We're not here to talk about June. We do have some really nice Christmas ambiance from Netflix. We did this last year so I just wanted to keep it going. We're here to talk about you guys. We're going to talk about what you like like. Who you like like. Everyone has emailed their crushes, and we're now going to blast them on air.

We're going to call their crushes, tell them that they're liked by this person. Right? Yeah. So, yeah, let's start with Matt Hasty. Jeffrey, hi. What time of year, baby? Baby. Baby.

We're looking. It's the best of Review Review. And it's the best of review review and it's the best of me and you and it's the best of um yeah that was all you got that was all I had we're doing this is this is

part one of two best of review review 2021 chosen by you hun the year before 2022 nice you bun yep Review, review. 2021. Chosen by you, hun. The year before 2022. Nice. Ya bun?

Yep. So. You done? Good start, good start. Oh, God. Wow. What a year. Another year of doing an improv podcast duoprov over Zoom. Yes, another year where we did have a studio.

Yep, certainly did. We still not ready to record in december 18th we've been in this office for a half a year june 1st was we have been vaccinated we have a studio boosted boosted as well and yet we have done um every episode one episode one episode in person and it was borderline uneditable. Yes. Yes. Because it wasn't in a professional studio. So that feels right. Which we're on a network to have. Yeah. And it does exist.

It physically exists. It physically is a room that's, yeah, not ready. But we did it from here. We had some fucking awesome guests. I cannot believe the guests that we got this year. Yeah. My God. Unbelievable. We got, I mean, who did we, we got, we got this year. Yeah. My God. Unbelievable.

I mean, we got Ben Schwartz. We got, I mean, let me just look through these episodes. I'm already forgetting because it's, we got Gall again. We got Gall for the live episode as well that we did. We did a live show. We got Kylie Brakeman. Virtually still. Twice as well.

Mm-hmm. We got- Billion Adam. Max and Yvonne. We got Billion Adam. Max and Yvonne we got Caleb and Shelby we got Lamorne Morris we got Billy Magnuson and Lamorne Morris I was so excited and so proud to watch

James Bond the new Bond with my dad and say hey because he loves the only thing he really loves in this world is James Bond not even me he was on my dad and say hey because he loves the only thing he really loves in this world is james bond not even me no and i was like he was on my podcast and he was like you're what my dad watched one too and he's like hey this guy was on your show i'm like damn fucking right damn fucking right um we got can you believe we got elizabeth valenti can you believe we got twice can you believe that i can't believe it um you live with her but i can you believe we got Elizabeth Valenti? Can you believe we got Elizabeth Valenti? Twice. Can you believe that? I can't believe it.

You live with her, but I can't believe it. Yeah, it's been a while. It's been fun. I'm really excited to see what everyone picked. Yes, I do know what everybody picked. I think I sent you the initial top four. But this episode, we're going to do the top. So we're doing the top eight best of episodes as voted on by our most sacred of listeners, our most loyal.

If you didn't vote for your favorite episodes, then stop listening to the show. Well, no, we need all the listeners. No, you're not allowed anymore. Because it's like you're not actually Worthy Yeah I don't think so I mean that's still cause like they don't Maybe they might not have known where the forum was

They might not have Instagram There's so many reasons why we should keep every listener we have No I think and it's fine that we disagree I think we can see it differently and that's okay We don't have to agree on everything I agree on that but This is one thing where it's like a bad take. Just read.

What's coming in at number eight? All right. No, you can't just dive in with the sour energy. Let's do this. What's your favorite memory of the show since the last Best Of episodes? Doing our first quote-unquote live show. And I really hope we get to do actual in person,

in person ones in 2022. I think we can. That's my goal for 2022 is to do an in person. I was going to say also, what's your goal? Yeah. My, my favorite,

my favorite part of this year is do, was being able to do a version of a live show, a pandemic version of a live show. Yeah. But my goal for 2022 is to do an in-person review review. I think we will. I think obviously Omicron is soaring over California. Oh my God.

But I think by summer, COVID is going to be gone and there's no science to back that up. Oh, Jeffrey. I really think this. You're wrong. But. I think my favorite memory was the Lamorne episode. Because that was like, getting Ben was huge. And that was a goal of ours from when we started the show.

But like, we know Ben vaguely and we've hung out with him a couple times. Lamorne was like that elusive member of the New Girl cast. Which to me was a hero's not journey, but meet cute for, for me and Morris. A classic heroes meet cute. Yeah. Remember when Ulysses had that heroes meet cute?

Um, yeah. And what's, is that your goal as well to do live review review? A hundred. Yeah. A hundred percent that. And then I think guest wise,

I'd love to know what your guest is. I think mine would nicole byer i was gonna say nicole nicole i feel like is the most elusive to me nicole is so she's just so busy and rich nicole is like fucking taking off in an incredible way and i'm so thrilled for her but i'm also like just wait just come on our show and then do all this incredible shit just like really quickly just like Just like come and be on our show and then like do it, do it all. But can you just really quickly come and do this? Which you certainly can. And if anybody thinks that that's selfish of us to want, like for her not to take off, it's not because guess what?

I think it'd be good for me. It's not selfish because it's what I want. Exactly. No, it's like, and I want, I'm so thrilled. It's like she's getting all the stuff that she's so deserving and she's so talented. But every time she does, I'm like, ah! That's one more thing to worry about.

That's taking away time from you potentially being on our show. Every hour she spends on Nailed It is an hour she could have spent on this show. Yes. Every hour that she's promoting her new Netflix special is again an hour taken away from her. An hour she could have spent on this show. Yes. Every hour that she's promoting her new Netflix special is again an hour taken away. An hour she could have been on this show. And it's not better to have loved

and lost. It's better to have had the boss, aka Bayer, on the show. Let's get into number eight. Alright, Riley, are you ready? I am so ready, Jeff. What's number eight? Coming in at number eight is Mall Santas

with Finn Wolfhard and Billy Brick. Wow. That was almost a calendar year ago. It was, I think, exactly a calendar year ago. It was the last episode we did before the Best Ofs last year and it couldn't be included in the Best Ofs last year because of the voting process. Wow. Oh my god. That's wild.

Man. What do you remember of this episode? I honestly I don't remember the bits that much. I remember I remember it going off the rails in a very fun way

but I don't remember. I'm excited just because I remember it going off the rails in a very fun way. But I don't remember. I'm excited just because also it was like a year ago. I mean, like I don't even remember episodes that we did in like June of this year. Like, so, so I'm going in blind on this one,

but love Billy, love Finn. I'm very excited to hear. What about you? I mean, I know you've been scrubbing through, but like before you did, what did you remember? This one, I did remember've been scrubbing through, but like before you did, what did you remember? This one,

I did remember one of the bits and it's the bit that I pulled from it. We should also say that we're pulling one bit from all of these, like we did last year. Um, and it's just our favorites really. Um, and, um,

some of them are the ones that like people took to, cause I looked back at the subreddit and stuff, but, um, this was the bit that I remembered from this one of Billy doing something very funny, and I don't really want to spoil it, so I think we should go straight into it.

Sound effects are amazing. Vero G. You're G. Billy, what's Vero G's last name? V-E-R-O G. Gridlock. Great name. Gridlock.

Vero Gridlocklock that's great okay well one one person found it to be useful so that's good um all right i'll start it we had our appointment today to take our santa pictures when santa asked how old our son was we told him 15 months he wanted him to stand in front of him when i told him that he can't walk and he can just come and sit on your lap when the pictures were done instead of him wanting to give our son to us he stood him up and let him go and my son fell on his face i looked at santa and told him again once again cannot walk, and rushed and picked him up off the floor. My son was nonstop.

Vero G. Your G. Billy, what's Vero G's last name? V-E-R-O G. Gridlock. Great name. Gridlock. Vero Gridlock.

It's great. Okay, well, one person found it to be useful, so that's good. All right, I person found it to be useful, so that's good. All right, I'll start it. We had our appointment today to take our Santa pictures. When Santa asked how old our son was, we told him 15 months. He wanted him to stand in front of him when I told him that he can't walk and he can just come and sit on your lap. When the pictures were done, instead of him wanting to give our son to us,

he stood him up and let him go. And my son fell on his face. I looked at Santa and told him again, once again, he cannot walk and rushed and picked him up off the floor. My son was nonstop crying. Why would you do that when you clearly told him he can't walk? We walked in with our child in our arms, so disappointed at our experience at Santa at the Americana in Glendale, I guess.

Now my son has a big bump on his forehead. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Jim, come into my office for a second. Yep. Yeah. So you know what this is about. The... Yeah. No, I don my office for a second. Yep. So you know what this is about. No, I don't know.

Alright, so we're going to have to do this the hard way. Also, don't mind this. This is my trainee. He's going to be taking over while I go on a sabbatical next spring. This is Tyler. Tyler, say hi. Hey, Jim. A pleasure. Nice. Jim, you've been tossing children.

In what way? Trying to stand them up and teach them how to walk and then just kind of leaving them to their own devices while their parents are begging you for mercy. And obviously they can't get up to the platform. What's that? I knew something was going to come up about this. You've got to learn that these kids need to know. And I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, if this kid is 18 months, 18 months or less,

probably, or maybe a little more, they need to be learning how to walk, and if they don't, then I'm going to have to teach them the hard way. It's not trial by fire. We hire you to take photos with babies and kids, act like Santa Claus, right? And that's it. That's where the buck

stops. You don't have to potty train them. Yeah, sorry. I don't mean to cut in and tell you how to do your job here, but you are going on sabbatical. So I was just wondering, yeah, you need to be more clear with what you're trying to communicate here. Me? What is that, Tom?

Oh, you mean you're trying to give me? No, not you, Jim. I'm speaking to you. I just don't want to tell you how to do your job, but I'm saying it's important to communicate and just be exactly clear with what you're saying. I'm training you to know how to do my job, which you have for four months yeah and i'm just saying if i were to be doing your job in fact i will be doing your job i would just be handling this a little bit

this is beyond fucked and inappropriate to be doing this in front of an employee well i just wouldn't antagonize jim for what he's doing here and he's trying to take there's so much you said act like santa but santa embodies so much more than just materialism and pictures and smiles. It's about a Christmas spirit. And if that means pushing your child in the right direction. Pushing the child down. In some cases. But it'll only take one child to take their first few steps.

Knock, knock, knock. Jim, sorry. Excuse me. Knock, knock. Yeah, hi. Hello. I'm sorry. Hello, Santa. I'm sorry. Excuse me. Knock, knock. Yeah, hi. Hello. I'm sorry. Hello, Santa.

I'm Janet. You just took a photo with my eight-month-old son, Jeremy. Oh, that's fucker, yeah. And we proceeded to throw him down the stairs. And I just, I'm so sorry if I'm interrupting anything. You're so calm. But I just wanted to say. You're so calm.

I know I was screaming before. I know I'm the one who filed the complaint, but I just, I want to take to take that back what I actually want to file a thank I don't know if that's possible um that's not I just perfect are you are you the supervisor no I'm the supervisor for sure I'm in the desk no but I'm the Tyler the Tyler Tyler you seem actually a lot more in charge so is it okay if I file this for you he weirdly came in he weirdly came in and had a great thing going if you need to file it through I, I would give it to Garrett, and Garrett, I'll get to it later if you want to just do that. Okay, great.

I just wanted to say thank you so much because my son, eight months old, I was reasonably upset when you threw him Santa, but now he is running. He's running through the halls. All he needed was just that push or that throw, rather. Are you kidding me? He is absolutely sprinting through Gymboree. That hit, that throw.

Yeah, I mean, sometimes I like to do this. And if the night ends in Gymboree, then I guess I'm a little... a hymboree. That's nothing. You said nothing. That's a gym for me. Tyler, can I reprimand him for that?

Can I reprimand him for that awful sentence? That feels... I wouldn't. I wouldn't if I were you. All right. Well, thank you guys so much. I can't thank you enough. My child is absolutely an Olympic sprinter now.

You should go find your child because you're at the offices on the second floor and Jim Bury is so far from here. All right. I'm going to go do that. I'm going to go... Actually, sorry, Tyler, is it possible to file a complaint

against Garrett, I think your name tag says? That was a little, you know, it was a little off color. It was inappropriate. It was inappropriate. Thank you so much. Merry Christmas.

Jim, toss your child down an escalator. Merry Christmas. Adieu and to all a good night. Why does everybody do weird accents here? Just a quick thing. What I've been doing recently

is like kind of a new tactic. Every time a kid sits down i have a don't call it a tactic old i do this thing where it sees they sit down and i have this big kind of old film camera and i get them to sit still for six hours so i take their portrait uh until this kind of giant flash goes off and blinds them. The Patience of Christmas. Exactly. The second most important virtue after risk-taking. I commit, that's amazing. Sorry, the Virtues of Christmas?

First of all, I've never heard of that. Second of all, your list, as it stands so far, is number one. The first virtue Christmas is ranting in the walk. Don't forget to walk. Don't forget to walk. Bringing us to the second virtue virtue that doesn't even align with what you said you said the first one was risk-taking the second one was patience what one second that didn't ring any jingles excuse me oh my fucking god what um hi i could tell this is the

management office of the mall uh i'm uh i'm brandon but nice to meet you guys um santa santa hello good to see you again. You know, I don't know if you remember, but you took a six-hour-long portrait of my daughter Skylar. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. It was a really, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a really long time to wait, actually. It was a really long time to wait,

and she's only three months old. Listen to him. And so it's kind of hard for her to sit still for that long amount of time. I know I filed a complaint earlier, but actually, I don't know i filed a complaint earlier but um actually i don't know who to go through but i would like i saw a woman she said i could start filing thanks um and christmas virtues yeah the blue and so if you just put one on the blue awesome

i'd like to file a big thank because you you know you said be patient and even though she was kind of squealing i know the patience of christmas i know now she's actually very patient she i told her hey just wait a little longer all right and and she has just been sitting silently for two days with a glazed stare kind of with a glazed stare that's exactly right that seems like something's wrong like maybe she's stunned or having some kind of epileptic episode because it's a christmas miracle it's a christmas. Her eyes totally glaze over and she hasn't moved. And my wife and I have finally gotten our first, you know, full night's sleep.

That's the least of your worries. Take your child to the hospital. Oh my God. Tyler, high five. He did nothing. Tyler did nothing. Tyler, you're also the man, by the way.

I can tell you look like a guy who's great at his job. Thank you. It's actually my first day. No way. No, it's not. He's wearing a Reebok graphic t-shirt. It's so inappropriate to be.

Only the strong survive. All right. Well, happy holidays, you guys. I wish you all the best Christmas virtues and get home safe, Santa. What kind of fucked up daycare are you running, Jim? And Tyler, I'm not the one who hired you. Where did they hire you from? Where were you working before this?

I was dunking children in ice water recently. What? Kind of as a... What lesson does that teach? No way that teaches anything. It's Wim Hof's third lesson of Christmas. Exactly, exactly. What is the lesson? Dunk someone in ice? Control your body.

If you can breathe in a certain way that you can regulate your own temperature of your body to withstand cold that most people wouldn't be able to withstand, you can kind of do anything. And you are so much more in touch with your body and therefore your mind and your emotions. Is this religious? And how old did you say this kid was? Two turtle doves and a Wim Hof in an ice bath. I'm going to take the sabbatical early. I'm for sure going to take the sabbatical early

I'm for sure gonna take the sabbatical early I wasn't gonna say anything but I think we were all kinda leaning that way yeah cut to Garrett on like a cruise somewhere on the deck holding like a fruity drink the voices start to ring through his head ice bath Wim Hof Wim Hof the voices start to ring through his head. Ice bath.

Wim Hof. Wim Hof. A man walks up, standing next to Garrett. Nothing like the big blue, huh? I grab you by the collar. What are the rest of the virtues of Christmas? I need to know.

I know how to breathe in ice, and that's it. Hey, Garrett, don't mean to tell you how to vacay, but I would really swap that fruity drink out for something a little bit more bittersweet. Damn it, Peter! You're the deck cruise manager and you've been up my ass the whole vacation. Just let me relax.

Alright, okay. I'm just saying, if you have too much sweetness, you're gonna burn yourself out before Christmas. Don't rhyme. That was a regulation. And that's the fourth virtue of Christmas. Yes. It's a kid, a random kid, with a huge bump on his head. I'm not going to bother.

Dives overboard. And a Wim Hof in an ice bag. The Wim Hof bit. The Wim Hof. The virtues of Christmas. Virtues of Christmas. Bringing us to the second virtue it's not an anything don't just dance listen to her

you do it like yeah no you really harmed a kid oh my god i about that. What kind of fucked daycare are you running? Billy telling me. Yeah. You're shadowing me. Oh my God. Bringing us to the second virtue. Oh my God.

I forgot about the virtues of Christmas. Hey, well, it's a good reminder. Now going into the Christmas season, like don't lose the virtues. Yeah. Walking, patience, it's a good reminder now going into the Christmas season. Like, don't lose the virtues. Yeah. Walking, patience, Wim Hof. And breathe the nice. Breathe the nice.

And not too many sugary drinks. Yeah, not too many, but some. But some. But some. Hell yes. Thrilled that that made the cut. Yeah. We should take a quick break and come back with our seventh

best of in the episode of The Best Ofs. The seventh virtue of Christmas. And we're back. Riley, this next one is I'm really glad it made the cut. Okay.

This was one that one of the guests we just mentioned that was a real, it was a tough get and it was a tough guest and I was, I was nervous the entire time. And I think you can hear that in the episode in my shaky voice and knees, but I think we should, we should get into it. Are you ready for our seventh best of episode of 2021? Who was it?

Such a long drum roll jersey mics with elizabeth valente oh my god this was such a fun app with the queen of jersey herself yes the jersey the she's really she's kind of the governor but i was this one came what's that i don't know no kind of no she's chris christie valenti it almost rhymes okay um this the one what i remember from this because this one was more recent uh was that i became obsessed with jersey yeah because yeah, the juice, the juice is absolutely what I remember. The juice is loose at Jersey. And should we read what the juice is? Yeah, I think it's helpful to go back and just kind of I think that this is another virtue of Christmas is the juice from Jersey. Yes.

Why don't you give us a little description of the juice? Yeah, I want to get the exact one from their website. Got it. With like the way they're squeezing it and it just is gushing out of the bottle. It's horrible. Oh, God. The photo's so bad. It's really tough.

Oh, my God. The juice. Red wine vinegar in an olive oil blend. It's how a Jersey Mike's sub gets its exquisite zing. It's how bites get boosted and a great sub becomes an even better one. The juice adds that certain something extra. An exclamation. The kind of exclamation you can eat.

I forgot about the kind of exclamation you can eat. I can't wait. Okay, so here we go. One star. I went to this location on 8-22, ordered ahead, walked in, and asked for the code to the bathroom, and was rudely told it was customers only. I said, I am a customer. You're making my sandwich right now.

She rudely said it was open. Afterwards, I was treated terribly just to get my darn sandwiches, which were waiting for me. I stepped outside and was waiting for my ride. A man and his daughter came out, and they were also upset. I said, did you get the same treatment I did? He said he was picking up, asked for the bathroom for his young daughter, and got the same crappy attitude, but further was told he could just call the district manager if he was so bothered.

Who does that? If you hate your customers that much, go elsewhere. Last sentence doesn't make a lot of sense, but yeah. Was it in all caps? Yes. What made me laugh was, did you get the same treatment i did yeah such a weird way to phrase that weird way to phrase it and also the fact that she was like kind of conspiring with other customers of yeah

outside of massage like massage envy yeah yeah hey dude sorry i just noticed that you came out and you looked kind of like in a daze yeah did you get this did you get the same treatment i did in there oh my god it wasn't just me oh my god so um i mean if you're if you're talking about just kind of like you know that the massage was just it was just like they were rubbing oil on my back and didn't actually massage me at all. I feel really, I feel really ripped off. Did that happen to you? Oh no, I meant, did you get the Swedish treatment? Did you get the deep tissue Swedish? So they do, so they do have people who can do that. No man. Oh my God. No, I'm so frustrated. I went in there, had such the,

I have the longest work week and I'm like, just really dig in there and she kind of just took a bottle sprayed it on my back with oil and just kind of moved it around a bit for like 25 minutes and i booked an hour and then she said you're done and i said do you have any other people who who can do a little bit harder and she said no we don't do that here so you got a full swedish treatment oh fuck fuck i hate that place oh hey sorry you didn't even i didn't we didn't even see you go inside i don't think you actually got a massage i don't mean to be rude i said don't mean you've been sitting on the bench outside of here we've actually seen you waiting at the bus stop since Since we got here. I've just been fuming deep down. I just had to let it out. Why? Have you gone inside there?

Inside that place? Yes, we both went inside. Have you gone inside there? Have you? Oh, I mean, I've just been thinking about it. And like, I just... Right. I've just...

I've looked in and I... No, I haven't gone in yet, I haven't gone in yet. I haven't gone in yet. Why do you hate it? You said you hated this place. You said you fucking hate that place. I fucking hate that place, dude. Fuck Massage Envy.

Whoa. But you haven't been in there. Do you know someone who works there? Do you have a bad relationship with someone in there? Someone. Something. No, it's someone. Yeah, my is the the manager there oh okay okay yeah so so what are you doing here i well i worked it's okay no it's okay i can see you getting a little worked up it's like you're also taking way too long to

answer no yeah the simplest question i mean okay fine fine i'll tell you i won't go in and when we're back okay okay so okay so i came here how long have you been here today and is this the first day that you this is the seventh day i've been trying to step in a row and uh yep and uh but we don't need no one else needs to know that um yep i've just been building up the courage and i just you know people they walk in walk out all relaxed all happy and that's what i want but and you're getting more and more work sorry so you said you fucking hate that place but you want to go in there because you still love your ex and you want to win her back? I love her so much. But you hate the place?

Was it something about Massage Envy that broke you up? I can't believe that's a question I asked. No, nothing about Massage Envy specifically. She was cheating on me. Was she actually cheating on you or was she a massage artist? No, no, no. She was cheating on me, and I just... Was she actually cheating on you, or was she a massage artist? No, no, no. She was cheating on me with... You considered that cheating.

No, no. She was cheating on me with someone at the Jersey Mike's next door. So what does that have to do with massage envy? So this actually has nothing to do with massage envy, right? Well, no, nothing to do with massage envy, just the people in massage envy. But you hate that place. No, I fucking hate that place. Holy fuck. But no, I really... just the people in massage but you hate that but you hate no i fucking hate that place holy fuck

but no i really chris you have to stop waiting outside for me you're scaring away all these customers i told you we're done babe please no no no no no please please i would do anything i forgive you we don't even need to go to counseling i don't i don't care you forgive me yeah please jesus has he been out here telling I'm so sorry has he been telling you that I've cheated on him that's the story that was what he was saying no they're on my side they said it they said it no we didn't we didn't pick a side we were just asking what's wrong because he kept saying he fucking hated massage sorry for my language he fucking hated massage I'll be Chris for the love of God I give massages for a living. Just because I am touching people doesn't mean I'm cheating on you.

That's cheating. You're touching other women, other men, other gents. I can't do it anymore. Please take me back. I really miss us. What do you mean you can't do it anymore? You've asked me to quit my job for you because you don't like what I do. You just said, I can't do it anymore.

Please take me back. That is what you said. No, hey, hey, I thought you were on my side. What are you talking about? I thought you were on my side. No, we never said that. We never said that. I'm just trying to figure out what's happening.

But Leanne, I see your name tag. Yes, Leanne. I don't have so much a complaint about you as a person as much as I just do a complaint for a massage. This is probably not the best time. I'm actually saying that. This is probably not the best time. I'm actually saying that. This is probably not the best time. None of this matters.

I would have loved a deeper massage if I could just give it. Did you have Chrissy? Yeah, I had Chrissy. I'm so sorry. Chrissy is just like, she's not doing the best this week. She's having a tough time. Okay. I would love to hear it.

I had you, Leanna. You were amazing. Thank you. You really got in there. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You went to my ex and had her touching your body?

You were just listening to me, dude. I didn't know it was her. The betrayal that I need to leave. We betrayal. The betrayal. We don't know each other. We've been friends. We need to leave. We've not been friends, was what you were about to say. No one's friends.

Actually, I don't know any of these people's names. I thought we were friends. What's your name? What's my name? Yeah, or not. I don't care. No, my name is Julia. Yeah.

Hey, Julia. Yeah. My name's Trulia. Hi, Trulia. What? That's crazy. I work in real estate tech. Do you want to hang out sometime? I know that sounds weird, but... Liam, please. Trulia. Hi, Trulia. What? That's crazy. I work in real estate tech. Do you want to hang out sometime?

I know that sounds weird, but... Liam, please. Trulia, see? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. All right. It's okay. None of this matters to me.

I'm going to go home. And I'm sorry that you guys are dealing with this. Yes, okay. Well, thank you. We'll give you a coupon code for next time. Thank you so much for stopping by. And thank you for stopping for something by Trulia you were a pleasure to work with Chris you actually can never come within 30 feet of this premises again I hate well Leanne I was like this feels like a horrible this feels horrible what's a horrible time here and horrible time to do this but like I really did feel you're not a connection you're not I hate to do this

Chris you are not part of this we broke up months ago um Trulia I would love to maybe grab a tea sometime oh you don't drink oh oh I mean well it's just

it's five it's five to 10 a.m. If you know anything about her, you'd know that. Well, that's why we want to hang out, because we don't know anything about each other. Chris, we're done. If I see you loitering outside of this massage envy again, I'm going to have to file a restraining order. I'll see you next week. He didn't get it. He didn't get it.

He didn't hear anything you just said. He didn't hear a word I just said. My name, oh, it's Julia. Oh, I'm truly. I work in real estate tech. So something I thought we could do. Who are you calling? So you can hear it, it's Julia. Oh, I'm truly. I work in real estate tech. So something I thought we could do. Who are you calling? So you can hear, that's good.

Just get Elizabeth Valenti on the horn. Oh my God. And here she is. Elizabeth, we're doing our best of Review Review episode 2021. Looking back at some of the fan favorite episodes. And we're happy to say that Jersey Mike's top seven episode. So it's seventh, huh? Yes.

The top seven. The top seven's coming in at number seven. You made it. You made it. Number seven. Wow. I'm honestly shook. We just did.

Can they accept an award? Do you guys have awards for this? We. This is the award. This is the award. For better or for worse. I'm going to talk to you guys, my friends. Yes.

So the bit we just heard was that you were playing a jealous ex-boyfriend of a massage envy massage artist. You considered that you said that she was cheating on you because she was giving massages to people which was her job oh yeah no but she was cheating on me yeah yeah so you still think so that wasn't the character no like that was really messed up right like i stand by that's what i was worried about and that's the issue yeah um elizabeth what do you remember from this episode I just remember having a lot of fun you know like when you're in it

like you kind of black out you know like what a lot of successful performers say well that's what they say that's what they say and so I try and copy them because I mean they got something going on so

I just try and you know replicate duplicate do my best right um and you do you mean you blacked out because you were doing improv or yeah yeah no because i was doing a really good job at it okay got it yeah i was worried that you were drinking baileys um that that too but i thought we weren't gonna say that on on the on the air i thought we discussed that before sorry yeah we'll we'll cut it out we won't cut it out um but I thought we weren't going to say that on the air. I thought we discussed that before. Sorry. Yeah. We'll cut it out. We won't cut it out.

Yeah, yeah, good. But yeah, we just wanted to get you on the horn and see if you had any memories, if you had any thoughts. And also to celebrate with you. I mean, I love the fact that I got to do another episode with y'all. You guys are so funny, and I just love getting to join in on the fun whenever I get to. And that episode was a lot of fun because I'm from Jersey, so I had a personal connection to Jersey Mike, which, by the way, found out on Twitter the other day that the CEO's name isn't Mike. What's the CEO's name? I forget. It was like Brian or something, but like it wasn't Mike. I couldn't believe it. But also I will say that I'm a fan of review review and I listened to it weekly and it just, I feel like it just gets better and better and that y'all crushed

it in 2021 and it's just like it's crazy that you guys really started this podcast at the start of oh my god you're so nice i will venmo you that 50 bucks later for all those kind words thank you yeah yeah that'd be great well if you could do that like as soon as i hang up that would be yes absolutely yeah holy shit yeah fine um um we love having you on yeah every time is just a fucking blast we'll have you on again to do uh another new jersey related topic some sort of jersey thing jersey shore the jersey turnpike or whatever it's called yeah the turnpike i'm on the parkway right now holy shit so pretty cool what and what a perfect place for you to be for this this recap yeah no it a perfect... This is the only place I would want to be for the recap.

Is in New Jersey on a freeway. Yeah. Exactly. I'm passing Jersey Shore Premium Outlet! You can cut it out. And we've never heard her be this excited about anything. Alright, well, we'll let you go thanks for uh thanks for guesting here

and uh and giving your your recap thoughts oh my gosh of course merry christmas happy holidays to everyone and i love you both and i'll talk to y'all later and to you and to you i've never heard you end a call going, mwah. Yeah. I've never done that. It felt wrong. And she also said, the last thing she said was ew, so that sucks.

But let's keep it going. Let's go to our six, top six, our sixth place finisher. Are you ready for this, Riley? Our sixth place finisher. I don't know. Yeah, let's do it such a long intro oh i forgot about this okay so for tied for fifth actually tied for fifth this this was tied

these two episodes were tied craft american singles and weatherpoons with Max and Yvonne. These are two of my favorite ones of the year, I think. These are two that I would have put up there if I were voting. The Kraft singles obviously, it was the Kit Kat and cheese sex.

That's one of the most insane things we've ever... I remember remember i'll never forget doing that bit yeah because i also remember after that bit we just were like what are we doing what are we talking about cats fucking cheese and then the weather spoons one that was just such a ball and max and yvonne are so funny so funny and i just remember you're you're like i don't know if this is the bit that you picked it is like your little gremlin that lives under the floor oh thank god i can't wait i cannot wait let's uh let's start off with weatherspoons i i think this one was one where because uh this was a guesting opportunity that was put together by head gum and i hadn't uh

consumed any of max and yvonne's content yet and so we were meeting them for the first time and getting a sense for their comedy at least for me and they were just well I listened to their show yes I did not with Sound Deals but it is I listen to it now it's so fucking funny and they're hilarious they're so funny and for me I remember this

episode just being like damn these people are funny oh my god they're so quick they're so quick and even listening back to it I was hearing things like damn these people are funny and oh my god they're so quick they're so fucking quick and so many yeah so and even listening back to it i i was hearing things that they had said that i hadn't like clocked on the show they're unbelievable with just little aside jokes and like details that they would add they're just they're really funny so let's get into it amazing uh tied for fifth uh part one uh weathers spoons with max and yvonne rubbish atmosphere with cheapish drinks but nothing to appease the mind or palate

it's an okay place if you're skint and in a large group but don't come here looking to make friends with the dodgy characters surrounding the bar nothing to appease the mind or palate. The extraordinary thing here is that Claire... Two stars. I mean, basically, the way she described it reads to me as a five-star Wetherspoons review. Like, she's totally nailed the essence of what Wetherspoons is. What's baffling is that someone has told Claire Indigo,

or she's deduced from her own research, that Wetherspoons is a place to go to appease the mind and palate and to make friends with the fragrant and hospitable characters around the bar. Yeah. Like she has been...

To appease the mind and palate. How does one appease the mind? Like I guess you could... Hello, chaps. Do you fancy going out to appease the mind and palate? Yes, quite. Oh, yes, darling. I'd absolutely i'm you know i've been absolutely just ravenous to appease my mind

yes you know trixie i've noticed that your mind has seemed a little unappeased of late and uh and oh darling it's been quite unappeased oh can we please go to the train station so we can appease my mind let us please appease let. Let us please appease, we threes. We see they're all very wealthy and dressed to the nines. Yes, now I've done little to no research, but I've got an inkling that there is a little bijou locale. Ooh, yummy scrummy, I can't wait. We can hop on the omnibus and they serve libations galore,

guaranteed to tickle and revivify even the most parched of minds and parched of palates. Cut to the pub. Welcome to Wotherspoons. God's merciful mother of Jesus Christ. Couple of whale drinks, maybe a couple of real lagers. What was the last word of that man's sentence? Lager.

I do believe he's trying to say lagers. Oh, good grief. Is he in such a state of intoxication that he can't say the word lager? Completely incoherent. Or is he trying to say a new word? We're doing half off off points tonight bunch of chavs bunch of ruffs getting drunk off their rock of the day it's a i mean it's almost a kind of beat poetry that he's saying it's a sort of it's a kind of bakowski this this just

might appease my mind i mean don't you get the feeling that this is quite like one of those old salons? I do think he's trying to introduce some kind of maybe poetry or maybe he's from a far away place. Maybe he's an explorer of some kind. Yes, he is indeed. He's giving a reading of some sort. He's doing some kind of jig with that chair. Excuse me, my boss told me to change the specials on the chalkboard, but I don't know how to read or write. Any chance you chavs could fucking figure that out for me?

What's a chalkboard, I say? Oh, because the language. Oh, goodness. I mean, on the one hand, the fruitiness of the language and vernacular is an affront to my very being, but on the other hand, I haven't felt so alive in years. I mean, I can't speak for either of the two and vernacular is an affront to my very being. But on the other hand, I haven't felt so alive in years.

I mean, I can't speak for either of the two of you, but my husband hasn't even made so much as a passing glimpse at me since our marriage night some 12 year ago. And rightly so. And rightly so, and rightly so. God save the king. And rightly so. Yes, rightly so. But there is really something rather enervating about this experience

and, I mean, Trixie, you've always been a famed reader and writer. Maybe we could approach this goblin-like creature and maybe, you know, in much the way as his colleague shared some of his ill-conceived stream of consciousness thoughts with us, we could

perhaps, you know, give him a little of the alphabet and maybe some basic numeracy. I think that would be quite... I do think this will appease my mind. Excuse me, kind gentlemen, we would absolutely love to assist you in writing on your chalkboard. All right, sounds good, yeah.

Could you just say that the football match will be on around four? Absolutely. Football around four. You understood that. Wow, that's wonderful, Trixie. I did. I did.

Is that what he said? Excuse me, kind sir. I don't think I got your name. My name is a very simple name. And it starts with a ya. With yarn yeah he really doesn't he really doesn't know his letters yet he's giving it starts with a yarn it starts with a yarn a story about your name call me call me yarmic yarmic well that's a fantastic name yarmic yarmic a wonderful name now you guys seem like you have a lot of shillings.

I don't seem to have as much quid. How do you guys get rich, fans? Well, we got rich the very, very noble way by being born into preposterously wealthy families and then marrying still yet wealthier men. It's a tried and tested method here, Yarmik. Yarmik, it's called generational wealth. Yes, Yarmik.

I've never even heard of that. I can only recommend it. Just be born wealthy. It's really quite something. I tried. You tried? Can you walk us through about how you tried to be born wealthy? Woke up, first day I had a memory, yeah?

I said, oh, how good it would be to be able to do anything I hopefully damn please. And then I realized very quickly that I couldn't do that. So I got a job at this here JD Weatherspoon. And now I get so rubby pissed that by the end of the day, I don't even take home my day's pay. I live in the baseboards. Within the boards themselves, Yarmik. I kind of hit one of them with my feet. The baseboard gets up

and it reveals like a very small twin mattress. That's my room, yeah? How utterly quaint. It looks exactly like the drawer where I keep my cheapest shoes. Yarmik. Multiple shoes? Yarmik, could you give us a moment, please, just to converse?

Of course. I hope I'm not stepping on anybody's toes when I say this. Particularly not Yarmik, who's not wearing any shoes. Exactly. But I have almost butterflies in the stomach when I'm not Yarmik, who's not wearing any shoes. Exactly. But I have butterflies in the stomach when I'm around Yarmik. Is that crazy to say? I think not. I mean, I felt

a certain flattering about the buzz of myself. I think his aroma is so pungent that it's caused me to feel a little bit inebriated. Good grief. I think I might, as they say, make my move. Oh, well, Trixie, if you must.

Yes, I mean, listen, it sounds as though Yarmik may appease yet more than your mind at this point. And if you are, you know, if you if you are thinking of taking a taking a trip with Yarmik into the baseboard and down to his delightful mattress like sack of hay, then remember to to use protection, by which I mean always carry a copy of the Bible. Of the Bible. And you know, I feel so thrilled. I have always loved the Phantom of the Opera. I feel like I'm living out my dreams at the moment. Come once again, my dear, indeed.

Yarmik! Oh, darling Yarmik! Yeah? I hope this isn't too forward, but my darling friends and I were wondering if you have any plans in the floorboards after you get off your shift. You asking me if you want a shag? Oh, yeah.

I've never done that before. That's surprising, Yarmik. Not really. I sleep on a sack of barley and I bathe a nail. It's mostly water. It is mostly water. Yarmik, I've never felt this way about anybody in my entire life. Really?

You awaken something in me, in all of us, you know, if I can speak for the group, that we haven't felt in what feels like, well, lifetimes. Yarmik, I would love to sleep on your pile of hay and barley this evening, if you'll have me. Nay. Nay? Oh. The reason I'm still virgin is because I'm very picky,

and you're not. Yarmik's tight I say Yarmik Oh my goodness Beggars can't be choosers, Yarmik And you're clearly a beggar I'm not a beggar I'm not a beggar in the sexual sense Just in the legitimate sense Yes, yes

And if you have any shillings to spare i would very much appreciate it goodness yarmulke may i ask what is i'm so sorry i'm trying not to cry from the embarrassment but what is yarmulke's type victoria beckham Victoria Beckham and Victoria Beckham alone I say, Yarmik Listen, you might be setting yourself up for a bit of a fall there because there is but one Victoria Beckham and whilst we are most proud of her I'm not saying you don't have a lot to offer her

Good luck, mate, good good luck all the best thank you thank you thank you i grab your i grab your face so tenderly and it feels like sticky like a table and above yarmulke i know we've only known each other for a short time but if you ever do find Victoria Beckham, she'll be a very lucky lady. Trixie. And I just want you to know, I'll never forget you. Or your barley bed. Or your sticky face.

Or your ale-ridden hair. And if I can give you one parting gift, might I have a kiss? All right. As you kiss, all of his teeth fall out. Of course! I knew it would happen one day. Didn't think it would be because of this.

What a way to lose them. Well, Trixie, that looks sensational. Cut to like ten years later. I'm with my very boring husband and I'm wearing a necklace that almost looks like teeth. Just staring out the window. You know, Trixie Bell.

Yes, darling. I thought it might be time for our annual chat. All right. I start just like running my hands along the teeth. My butler's butler looked at you recently and relayed that information by way of an oil painting

to me. I observed the painting in my club and wish to raise an issue with you. Yes, what is it, darling? It appears that you are somewhat sort of frotting a

string device around your neck with some form of ivory-esque implements. Now, I know full well the jewels that are in this family because I bought them all from my parents on their deathbed.

And that isn't among them. No, it is something much more valuable. I don't think you'll ever understand. I don't. I work in a bank. And if there's one thing I understand, it's value. My job is head of value here at the Bank of England. So if you're saying that's more valuable, then clue me in, missy. Clint, you won't understand because it doesn't have anything to do with monetary value.

It has more to do with values of the heart. And I know you and I have rarely had a moment of passion, but this passion. That's nonsense. I will carry with me for the rest of my life. And that's just something that you'll have to get used to. Hold on. A moment of passion. I'd like to take issue with that. Do you not remember seven Seven years ago, it rained slightly and we both stood under the same umbrella. Cut to that.

Well, this is nice. Cut back. What do you say to that? Oh my god. oh my god oh my god that's one of my favorite bits we've ever done I forgot how funny that was oh my god Victoria Beckham

and Victoria Beckham alone the butler communicated to him via an oil painting, which he took in his club, that you had a necklace of ivory implements. Oh my god. That is so... They're so fucking quick. Yeah, they're so fast.

Oh my god. Unbelievable. To the best improvisers I've ever met. That was such a joy. Yarmic. Anytime. Well, it starts with a joy. Yarm. Anytime. Well, it starts with a yar. So you really don't know how to spell. You can call me Yarmik. Tell us the story of your name.

I tried to be born with generational. So first day, first day out of memory. That one was really fun. Oh, God. I would love, we should have them on again in the new year for sure. Would love that. Great, great up, great up. And should we, should we dive into Craft American Singles?

Or is there anything else you want to share from Weatherspoons? No, that was perfect. That was such a treat to listen back to. Tricks about. Also just the quick cut to like, remember one day we stood out in the rain under the same umbrella? Well, this is nice. What do you say to that? All right, let's get into Kraft American Singles are also tied for fifth best of episode of 2021.

Four stars from Anonymous. So first and last name? Peter Griffin. Four stars from Peter Griffin. First of all, I'm from Wisconsin, so I like to think I know my cheeses. When it comes to making a grilled cheese, these do the best job. It's the perfect part gooey to cheesy. Perfect ratio of gooey to cheesy, I think they meant to say. Other cheeses I buy aren't as meltable as this one. The only downside is it's not the best thing for you to consume. But one grilled cheese now and then never hurt anyone. On a first date. I love this place.

I can't believe you've never been here. No, you know, I've passed by it so many times. It's just one of those places that it's like I took for granted That I lived so close to it So you're a regular here? It's kind of a special occasion place And let me warn you right now This isn't the healthiest joint

You know what, it's okay You know, it's great to indulge everyone's in a while So I'm excited Hey, I'm your waiter My name's Damien uh i'll be helping out today uh can i get you guys started with any appetizers do you mind if i order for us for the just appetizers for the table oh yeah you know damien i've actually never been here before and um this guy here he comes in all the time so you know what i fully trust you

order for the table i am i am ready to anything. We'll do the any teaser sampler. And we'll get that with the duck fat roast omelet skits. And then we'll do the spinach artichoke and sugar dip. We'll do the buffalo wings with a side of duck fat. And then we'll do the crudite just to be healthy. But instead of carrot sticks and celery, can we just make that a full pizza? And then... I was just going to say, I'll take a crudite as well.

And then that crudite, let's make that one another any teaser sampler with the following options we'll do the onion rings and can we do those extra duck fat and then i think i mean stop me if i'm wrong but we'll do the queso fresco but can you make it not that fresco i'd like an older queso so basically something that ideally you've sent back to the kitchen because it just wasn't quite right. And then we'll do a crudite. But that one, let's just make that one. And then you use a sampler with all the same options as the first one.

Extra duck fat on the side. Thanks. So do you have any siblings? You order something and make it something else. Sorry, we'll have the crudités, but can actually you make that the any teaser sampler? So you want the any teaser sampler so you want the any series sampler no no no i want the crudite but i would like that to come out as the any so this is five stars from monserrat c monserrat m-o-n-s-e-r-r-a-t-c so i'm probably pronouncing that wrong okay monserrat? M-O-N-S-E-R-R-A-T-C. So I'm probably pronouncing that wrong.

Okay, Monserrat... Chap? Okay, Monserrat, Chap, five stars. This is all one sentence. Yep. What I think about this product, I think this product is amazing, and its richness, its texture in the cheese is amazing,

and the milky taste of it, it's great. I always buy this. Jesus, Jesus, I will always be on the fridge. I would so buy it again and again and again. And I would still recommend it to all you guys. It's the great product. Its packages come in different prices. The little ones that you see on the picture are less than $5.

Alan, Alan, come back to bed. What are you doing? It's three in the morning. I'm just trying to figure out the grocery list for tomorrow. Basically, what I'm thinking is that we need to get the best craft they have. The singles are going to be there, and then I'll put it on the fridge. Because the thing is that I love the dairy taste of it all. I love how silky smooth velveteen it is.

I love to put it on breakfast cereal. Alan, Alan, Alan. Honey, grab your shoulders. Hey, it's okay. Breathe. Breathe. Yes. I know you love it, but no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

There we go. Let's go back to bed. We can finish the grocery list in the morning. Okay. Okay. They get back in bed. Everything's normal for a little bit. And then she starts to feel the bed shake a little bit from his foot moving.

I touch her foot with my foot. Alan, honey. Turn the bed shake a little bit from his foot moving. I touch her foot with my foot. Alan, honey. Turn the bedside lamp on. Alan, you gotta calm down. I'll get you some water, okay? Just wait right here. Go to the bathroom. Bring you back a cup of water.

There's yarn tied across the room already, almost immediately, to different clues. I drop the glass on the floor. Oh my god! They're calling it a cheese snack. What does that mean? Because it is silky smooth dairy. But I'm wondering how much milk is in this. I looked it up. Not that much. 10% dairy. Alan, holy shit. Where did we, I didn't even know we had yarn. Deal with this in the morning. Actually, you don't even need to deal with this at all.

We don't even need to buy craft. Just go to bed. I take my readers off. You know how I told you that I lost my virginity to Sharon Osbourne? Not the celebrity, the one who went to my high school. Yeah, the one who went to your high school. I lied to you. I was taken with and then by craft. American slices, to be exact. And the guilt has been weighing on me that i feel like i lied to you even though i didn't outright lie i just withheld information but i think that's a version

of lying in and of itself and i don't want you to be jealous just because we always have craft stocked in the fridge because you know i love you and you know I would never cheat on you with a woman or with a cheese slice. So instead of telling me that you had the cheese like American pie but with a slice of cheese, you told me it was Sharon Osbourne who you went to your high school. I have to know before I even get one inch of myself back in this bed with you. We keep the house stocked. Have you ever?

I mean, and in our own home. No, no. No, absolutely. I mean, I've thought about it. Do you love her? It's not like that. Do you love her? Yes or no?

You know I love you. The fact that you even hesitated, that tells me all I need to know. I don't want to throw away what we have. It meant nothing to me. When did it last happen? When you went to get me a glass of water. I did self-complete with the Kraft American single, but it doesn't take away from what we have. What we have is love.

It's bonded forever. Well, then what do you have? What does craft American single have that I don't have? Is it because she's single and American and I'm Canadian? Is that what it is? I mean, yeah. It is a little bit enticing to be new and different. And to be honest, if you're being honest, I know that you haven't been fulfilled in the bedroom and neither have I.

But I've been trying. I've been trying to make things work. I know. And I appreciate you putting on that orange hue robe and letting me fold you. And then that was sex. And I don't know. Honestly, I don't know how you didn't kind of put two and two together then that I was trying to make you be, for lack of a better term, a craft American single. Honestly, Alan, I think some part of me deep down always knew, but it was just too painful to come to terms with.

Don't say that it's never it was easier for me to pretend that i didn't know rather than admit my husband beds cheese but i wedded you well it doesn't feel that way so i think we should take a break for now take some time apart just to figure things out. A break. Time apart. I couldn't help but feel like when you said those words specifically, there was a little bit of a sexual tinge. You've been eating a lot of Kit Kats recently. It's just something to take the edge off at the end of a long work day. So is sex. Well, sure, you could say that about anything. So is a nice drink at the end of the long work day. So is sex. Well, sure, you could say that about anything. So is a nice drink at the end of the night.

So is, you know, watching TV. But sure, I'll have a couple Kit Kats before bed. Whatever. You haven't said my name like that kind of lust in years. I think maybe you got to step off that high horse because I've seen some chocolate stains on the bed. And I didn't want to say anything because I had my own secret that was weighing on me.

But tell me. Have you been having a Kit Kat? No. You do not have the ground to go off on me when you were going in on cheese. How do we fix this? Alright. Clearly we both lied to each other. Clearly, we've been searching elsewhere for validation. What do you need to feel loved? I just, I.

Do you want me to break off a part of me? No, don't say that, Alan. I want you for you. Because I can give you a break. I can break you off a piece of my own back tooth. No, I don't want that. I want you. I married you married you and yes i made a mistake i i had a well the kit kat had me and the craft was folded just so can we leave that behind and and start again knowing now that there are some parts of us that we didn't know we wanted i think we can try but there's one thing we have to do first candle lit all throughout the room you break off a kit kat i pull off a craft american slice i fold it just so and you start fucking it with the Kit Kat.

Credits roll. Turns out they have each other and we have us. I love you, honey. I love you more. What? what I'm sorry I mean I don't know what to say we're failures

I don't know what to say you know what sucks though we have BFAs well that but that's some of the best improv we've ever done I Well, that, but that's some of the best improv we've ever done. We're failures. People voted that one of the favorite things they heard this year was us making up a story about a Kit Kat fucking cheese. I'm ashamed to be me in this moment i'm really glad that made

the top eight that was one of my favorite bit like when when i look back on some of my favorite bits from the year that's a standout for me and that's one that you and i talk about sometimes from time to time that is one of my favorite things we've ever done it's so fucking crazy i love i mean i know i've said this before on the pod but it's like some of my favorite things we've ever done it's so fucking crazy i love i mean i know i've said this before on the pod but it's like some of my favorite bits are ones that are like so dramatic and grounded but insane yeah my god and so that felt like that was oh god what a fucking folding it just so and the craft was folded just so. In our own home. No, it meant nothing. It was nothing.

What do you mean it meant nothing? In her own home. Oh my God. Give me a break. You said that really sexually. I mean, the first half, the former half of the top eight, we did it. We did it.

We talked about them. We listened to them. We went down, waltzed down memory lane. We went in on cheese. And we went in on cheese. My God. I can only dream about what the top four will hold for us yes um the top four the top four are fun um so guys thank you so much for listening to the first episode of the best of

review review 2021 uh we'll be back again next tuesday next tuesday Next Tuesday, darling. December 28th with the top four episodes of Review Review in 2021. I hope everybody has a Merry Christmas, a Happy Holiday, and we'll see you guys again next week. Thanks so much for...

Yeah. Did you know that you can find Jeff on Instagram at Jeffrey James and on Twitter at Jeff Ware D and the show on Instagram at Review Review

and on Twitter at Review Review Show and on Reddit r slash Review Review. You can find me at Jeffrey James on Instagram Twitter at Jeff Ware D and the show on Instagram at review review and on Twitter review review show and on Reddit r slash review review. You can find me at Jeffrey James on Instagram. That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny you should mention that, though, because you can actually find Riley Anspa on Instagram at Riley Anspa and on Twitter at Riley Coyote.

No way. Thanks so much for listening to this episode of the best of review review. Bottom four of the top eight. And we'll see you guys again next week. Arrivederci! Nice! That was a HeadGum Podcast.