Review Revue - Best of 2021 (Part 2)
Episode Date: December 28, 2021It's finally here! Part two of the 2021 Reviewies; On this episode of Review Revue, Reilly and Geoff reveal the fan voted TOP 4 episodes of 2021.   Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh &am...p; @geoffreyjames Twitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardee <><> Edited by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now.
Let's break it down.
My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course.
And don't forget the fries and a drink.
Sound good?
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This is a HeadGum Original. are you happy today or no
i feel low. I know.
Okay, so what's the point?
I just love kissing so much.
You didn't really look at that.
I thought that you would kind of celebrate.
I will cry.
I can't wait for Ben's turn.
It'll be fun.
Let's just say daddy's dada.
God, I love lo-fi.
Yeah, that came in from Evan, who said he decided to make a lo-fi thing out of our conversation we had on the podcast, complete with an old Jeffrey the Dumbass singing podcast or lifting me higher to wet the appetite.
That was beautiful.
Yeah, that got me in some type of mood.
I love lo-fi, but what sucks is like, I love lo-fi,
but then to hear Jeff under it say, I love kissing,
is that like kind of brings me out of the vibe.
Does that make sense?
Does that make sense?
It makes sense.
It's just like, I'm going to hold tears in for the next hour and a half
and then let them out after we hang out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, thank you, Evan.
That was gorgeous, except for Jeff kissing.
But other than that, it was beautiful.
And he'd love to plug his podcast, Dungeons vs. Dragons.
Ooh.
Dungeons vs. Dragons.
Great name.
So shout out, Evan, for that.
And go check out his show.
But Riley, we're not just here to talk about Evan Dungeons vs. Dragons and lo-fi music.
No, we're not.
I know you think we are.
I know a lot of people are tuning in being like, we're here to talk about lo-fi and Evan's podcast, Dungeons vs dragons and lo-fi music. No, we're not. I know you think we are. I know a lot of people are tuning in and being like,
we're here to talk about lo-fi and Evan's podcast Dungeons versus dragons.
But you guys,
that's not,
that's not actually what we're like a shocker spoiler,
right?
That's not what we're here to talk about today.
Not at all.
Not like literally not one bit,
except for the bit at the beginning where we were here to talk about that,
but not anymore.
No,
we're here to talk about the top four episodes of the best of review,
review 2021 edition.
These are the fan favorites.
These are the top episodes of the year.
Voted on by listeners.
By y'all.
By y'all.
I am excited to get into these.
There's some real bangers.
Already.
Talk about them.
Eight,
seven,
and then eight,
seven,
and tied for five.
We're a blast.
The Wetherspoons episode,
the Kraft American singles,
so much fun to listen back.
It was all a ball.
It was all a ball.
Jeff, how are you today?
Because we are doing
these back to back.
So we did,
I know this came out
a week later,
but we did just record
part one.
And the 10 minutes
in between the break we took. How were your 10 minutes?
Yeah.
They were good.
I exported the files and put them in a folder.
Amazing.
Amazing.
Amazing.
So it's safe to say it's going pretty well.
I microwaved my coffee that had gone cold.
Yeah.
And is it good?
Is it just as good?
Is it just as hot?
Is it just as scalding?
No, but you know what?
I'm drinking it.
I'm drinking it for sure.
But I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm drinking it for sure. But I'm excited.
I'm excited.
I'm happy to be here.
And I'm excited to see what the future holds.
Not even just for this episode, but just like what's my life going to look like in like three years?
That's too much.
You're already biting off more than you can chew for this episode.
Three doesn't seem too crazy.
All right.
We'll get into three.
Let's get into these episodes
first though are you ready for the fourth best review review episode of the year as voted on by
listeners yes coming in at number four is haunted houses 2 with ryan fucking gall yes yes yes ryan gall is the fucking goat anything he touches turns to gold i cannot
believe we've had him on the show not once not twice but thrice because i'm including the live
show he is uncle ryan to us he is a perfect person does that make sense he's the nicest guy he's he
can turn any bit into a really, obviously,
I mean, it's on this list, so a goaded bit. I also would say probably that if the live show
had been released, it might have made the list, I would say, because of Ryan. I think that's true.
This episode was really fun. I'm glad we got to do it around Halloween this time because the last,
in 2020, we did Haunted Houses 1 in September. Of course. So all year, you and I were talking about doing this episode
around Halloween.
And I think we did it the week before Halloween,
like right by it.
I record, it was 11.30 PM
when we recorded it where I was.
And I was worried that I was going to be too tired for it
and that I was not going to bring my egg in.
Really?
And that did, yeah.
But because of Gaul's,
Gaul, I couldn't fall asleep that night.
The opposite problem happened.
It was almost like I was nocturnal that day.
You were so excited.
You were so hyped.
Because I was so excited.
I was so jazzed.
I was so cafe-fade up in terms of Gaul.
So instead of drinking hot bean juice, I drank that hot Ryan.
Don't ever say that again.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah.
He's just, he's just incredible.
I feel like, and this is just, Ryan, if you listen to this, you might, you might not, who knows.
But.
I love him to death.
I love him.
I love you so much.
And also like playing with him, like every time we play with him makes me a better improviser.
Like I learned so much just from, like, I, it's just, I just, I am so inspired by him.
I look up to him so much.
I was so nervous the first time we did it with him and I was still nervous for this
one, but the fact that we've gotten to do with him three times, I think we all like
know each other now a little bit enough to play where it's like, I know what he's going
to bring.
Hopefully he knows what we're going to bring.
And it's just like, so this one was my favorite episode of the three that we've done with
him.
Me too.
I'm so glad it made the list.
And in scrubbing through it to edit out this clip, like of the, I couldn't pick between the three that we've done with him. Me too. I'm so glad it made the list. And in scrubbing through it to edit out this clip,
like of the,
I couldn't pick between the three.
I did.
So we're going to play the entire episode.
I did,
but I was just like,
God,
these are like,
I was just,
I was laughing out loud earlier this morning.
Some bit that I know it's,
it wasn't a scene,
so it's not gonna be included this,
but I did love in our,
like in talking about what we're scared of,
like all these things that we did learn that Ryan is is probably possessed yes he is uh he's he's a clear clear audience
potentially he hears like children screaming and sees them when he chose to close his eyes
so that's so hopefully he's hopefully that's faded for him or it's gotten to a point where
he actually enjoys it yeah or gotten worse um yeah so let's cool so let's listen to
yes of course of course uh so here's number four haunted houses 2 with ryan gall i can't wait
okay so this is one star was not scary at all and i get scared of every single thing it was very weak
actors also smell of bo which I wish they could somehow
conceal. The escape room's five
minutes long and not worth it. There are so many
better places than this. My credit card balance
scares me more than this place.
What got me about this
is the backhanded
fucking thing of like, actors
smell of BO, and I wish there was
some way they could do
something about that.
God, I wonder.
Oh my God.
That's great.
It's like, yeah, I get it.
I get it.
I know.
Deodorant.
I know.
Are you looking for a specific brand of deodorant?
Well, it's not even for me.
Sweetie, I hate to talk for you like this,
but my fiance, yes, we're recently engaged.
Congrats.
Thank you so much, my fiance, Billy.
You don't have to tell everybody.
You don't have to tell everybody.
I'm excited.
Are you not excited?
I am excited.
It's just this guy doesn't fucking care.
No, I care.
What?
Don't say that.
I totally care. So Tucker tucker tucker yes thank
you for helping us so my fiance billy here he's what you'd call a man's man he's got that must
he's got that stinky stuff and so we're just here he's a little embarrassed it's a little
embarrassing he's a little embarrassed shouldn't be embarrassing a lot of girls actually like that i find that uh deodorant can sometimes mask uh mask masculinity mask masculinity yes yeah
well no no no no no no no no no no, no. My dude. No, no, no. Yeah, hey, man. Nice, dude. Men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men.
Yes.
I love men.
I love men just as much as the next.
Men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men.
Yeah, dude, honestly.
Men, men, men.
Yeah, I thought we were going to keep going.
No, dude.
Who cares, dude?
Billy, your voice just changed completely.
You just went down like three octaves.
Hey, I'm going to tell you this.
If you ever get the feeling that it's not worth it to go through with this.
What?
There's people that will support you.
Tucker, I'm sorry.
You don't know him from a fucking hole in the ground.
So sorry.
Can you just get your manly nose out of this?
We're just looking for some old spice
I think we're friends cause he knows we're getting married
just supporting my brother man
just supporting my brother
okay well could you please just
recommend your strongest deodorant because
Billy smells like ass there I'll say it
he actually smells like ass
and that's not even exaggeration so I'm gonna
need the like military
grade shit
that you have in this Walgreens right now.
I live in the woods and they don't use any of this.
And I'm sort of that way.
I get it.
I get it.
Listen, you guys got to find your,
you guys got to find the space where you can live.
I love.
Oh my God.
I thought you were going to say find your beach.
No, we live in Culver City.
That's where we live.
We live in Culver City.
We found it. Oh shit. I love beer. I would to say find your beach. No, we live in Culver City. That's where we live. We live in Culver City. We found it.
Oh, shit, man.
I love beer.
I would love to find my beach.
And if you ever want to visit my beach, feel free to come by and visit.
Your beach?
What do you mean your beach?
You own a beach?
No.
Do you have a sandbox?
Hell yeah, dude.
I have a sandbox.
What?
I've been trying to get a sandbox, but she won't let me have one.
We don't even have kids.
You don't need a sandbox. You can I've been trying to get a sandbox, but she won't let me have one. You don't even have kids. You don't need a sandbox.
The moment
somebody says
you can't have something
is the moment you turn around
and you effing
sprint in the opposite
direction. You sprint.
I don't think that's true.
I don't think that's true.
Again, we just need the deodorant.
Actually, because you've led us to the aisle,
we don't even need your help anymore.
We are more than fine to pick out a deodorant
that works for him.
So Tucker, thank you so much for your help.
I'm going to head back to the front.
No, you know what?
Fine, I figured out which deodorant I want.
It's the fancy one that's locked.
You need an employee.
Oh, you want speed sticks.
You want speed sticks?
So we do need Tucker.
Yeah, the fancy speed sticks.
Because you have the key to unlock it.
I have the key.
And if you want that, I need to be able to open it.
So you'll have to choose one.
And then I will let you look at that one.
He did.
He said he wants a fancy speed stick.
So can you please open the drawer?
As soon as you pick a flavor.
Flavor?
I can't just give you a free-for-all.
I can't just open it up and let you fiddle through that like a bucket of jelly beans.
No, you got to pick one.
You like jelly beans?
Dude, I love jelly beans.
My dude.
You love jelly beans?
Hey! Dude, I love giant peach. My dude. You love it? Hey. Man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man.
During all this, I'm like taking the keys.
I'm like trying every single key on the chain.
Give me my keys back.
That's attached to my belt.
You're hurting.
I know.
You guys are.
You're hurting me.
I'm not hurting you.
She opens it.
She grabs one of the speed sticks,
pulls up my shirt,
applies it
for me. No!
God. Deep ocean.
That's deep ocean.
That's a good one. Speed stick, deep
ocean. I like that. Okay, we'll take it.
Yes. Can you ring us up? Or actually,
do you have a self-checkout option that would be
significantly preferred? No, those are closed closed today you have to go for me
cut to the register hey can i help you today oh my god we literally walked up here together you
went behind the register here's a 20 i know it doesn't cost as much. Keep the change. No, hold on a second. That's $22.49.
$22.49 for a speed stick?
It was the fancy one.
I'm sorry.
It's Canadian.
Canadian dollars?
Or it's a Canadian brand?
No.
Canadian feet tall. canadian dollars yeah
yeah come on man of course it's canadian dollars
listen yeah not everything's if you want your guy to smell the way
You want him to smell
You gotta pay for it
It's $22.49 with tax
You know what, Billy?
Sorry, Tucker, can I have a sidebar with my fiancé
For one goddamn second?
I honestly could care less
What you guys do
I don't think that's true
So, Billy
Billy, stay strong.
I get to stay out of this.
You gotta come to my bachelor party.
What?
Damn it, Billy.
I'm definitely coming.
I slam my engagement ring down on the table.
I've had enough.
You have been like this for months.
It's all men, men, men with you.
And you know what?
I've had enough.
If this is what you want, the bachelor life, the musk, the woods, everything about it,
then you have it.
But I don't want any part of it.
So I'm going to go back to our duplex in Culver City.
And if you want to chase after me.
I'm sorry.
God damn it, Tucker.
What?
I'm sorry.
There's a guy behind you.
He's trying to buy something.
I'm so sorry.
But I used a condom in the most sacred of ways,
and I need plan B.
Are you an L.A. Dodger?
I wear it because there's sort of a dugout in my neighborhood, and I want to look like I fit in.
And I'll maybe one day be a concessioncession stand guy maybe you guys can step aside let this
guy buy his plan b yeah this is just taking so long it's not a problem dude just step aside
is it i'm sorry charlie i know your name you i'm just gonna assume your name is laura yeah it is laura how did you know that because you're
you have laura written across the butt of your yoga pants oh yeah okay looking at people's butts
all right should we do our last segment
oh my god man man man man man oh my god hey come on man come on man it's obviously canadian dollars
that's not obvious man you want your man to smell nice you gotta pay the price it's 22.59 with tax
just look also the callback to plan the plan b bit the plan b bit dodgers yeah oh my god yeah
there were a lot i remember about that episode there were a lot of i feel like that was one of
our strongest callback episodes yeah um where everything everything just came together oh my
god also like trying
all the keys hey that's attached to my hip you're hurting you're hurting me no you're not there's
something about the way that right it's like there's just certain characters just like it's
just so slow that it's so fucking funny you're hurting me nobody who's in pain says something that slow
you gotta come to my bachelor party man
oh I'm definitely coming
a step behind but
I'm so joyous of him
I don't care about
what you guys do
that's not true
yes you do you've been talking to us for way too long oh my god so
fucking good mad man it's staring at people's butts man man man man manly man what two already
emasculated guys think that it is to be a man masking it masks masculinity masks masculinity so you're like hey uh this guy my guy smells like
actual ass i need your help and he's like actually i think that it's cooler when you don't have
spirals out of control so fast uh hopefully we can get him back on next year maybe haunted house
three we gotta do three um also that episode got us the placement on vulture's best of comedy get him back on next year. Maybe Haunted House 3. We got to do Haunted House 3.
Also, that episode got us the placement on Vulture's Best of Comedy Podcast again.
So that was a big week.
And both of it's Haunted House's with Ryan Gollum and Haunted House's 2 with Ryan Gollum.
We're getting into the top three now, Anspar. Are you ready for the third best of Review Review 2021?
Yes.
Oh, wait, really quick.
That was another
that was another highlight
of this year is that
was that we got mentioned
in Vulture again,
which was really, really cool.
It's always unexpected.
Shout out to Becca James
for that placement as well.
Fellow James.
Thank you.
All right.
Number three.
Life Threatening Hikes. Life Threatening hikes with caleb harron and shelby this shit was
fucking bonkers again another episode where i think every bit in the episode could have been
the one that we chose oh i'm giving a ted talk i'm like the world's best navigator and explorer
and then caleb just starts like from the audience
being like this guy doesn't know what he's talking about and everybody he's a youth pastor and
everybody gets behind him so funny I remember just cry laughing at every single bit and then
Shelby's like press conference I think she's like a park ranger or something like that. Who refuses to do anything. Yes.
About a very dangerous hike.
Oh my God.
It was just,
it was just off the wall.
It was so,
this was such a fucking funny episode.
Yeah.
And shout out Caleb and Shelby.
They,
they Keeping Records is their podcast on HeadGum.
It's so fucking funny.
It's one of my favorite comedy podcasts.
And also just got to mention,
I think by either,
I think the new,
either the New York Times or Vulture. It was Vulture or vulture it was top yes top 10 comedy podcast of the year
it was incredible well deserved and if you guys like our show you'll love their show so check it
out and um here is uh the third favorite fan voted episode life threatening life threatening hikes This is a quote from Newton County Sheriff Glenn Wheeler about how he gets 10 calls a year about people who have fallen off the edge of the cliff at this hike.
This is what he says.
They're not always fatal falls, but they're injuries in that area.
When I'm talking about that area, I'm talking about Hawksville Crag. Or the trail into Hawksville Crag.
Or that bluff line.
So just to be clear, he's talking about all one thing.
And then he talks about a 20-year-old student who fell to her death.
She was here with a group from her college,
and the professor that led the group had been coming here for more than 20 years
and bringing groups out here.
It's a beautiful, beautiful area, but it's also kind of treacherous.
And then the last thing I'll read from him is that people on social media have
been begging the sheriff to put in a fence around this risky area because they
don't want to see so many people die.
And he says,
it will only hamper our efforts and we'll take away from the natural and
wild beauty of the place that people go to
appreciate it i just had this image like the sheriff who that's the only way he speaks and
everyone's so emboldened at like a press conference like begging him like why won't you do anything
with all with all of the deaths in the area sheriff Sheriff Wilson, why haven't you put a fence in around the area yet?
The people are dying to know.
God, it would just be such a shame
to see a little piece of metal
in this great expanse
that I like to look out on.
I mean, my wife fell in love with me
looking at this expanse.
And I'm going to put a metal on it.
What happened to your wife, by the way?
No one's...
She has found another. I'm sorry? looking at this expanse and i'm gonna put a what happened to your wife by the way no one's she has
found another i'm sorry i feel like i was clear yeah next question i don't want to get into my
wife well you said you didn't want to get into your wife but we asked you about the fence and
you immediately got into your wife so it's hard to imagine that you don't want to give it to your wife. I'm on that reporter side as well.
Oh, yeah.
So my wife's a beautiful woman.
Y'all know her.
She's the mayor.
Why is that funny?
Sorry.
What's funny?
Yeah.
It's just funny because the mayor and the sheriff, we were working on a children's book
about the sheriff and the mayor.
And it's like a comedy or why?
It's not funny that you guys got clapped.
No, it's funny.
It's funny because we're going to have to shut it down.
The ending was that we fall in love and now.
You're going to have to shut the book down?
Instead of just changing the ending, you're going to have to shut the book down.
Oh, you want me to write a children's book about how love isn't real?
You want me to write a children's book saying dates love isn't real you want me to write a children's book saying they used to fall in love and then love doesn't actually exist and then it tells the kids about how how it feels when your
heart gets ripped out in front of you you know what sure i think we've been it's today's about
the you know the hike we all we want is a wire fence around this dangerous area and like i said
it would affect the way that you look out into it.
It would affect the way you look out into it.
It would also affect the way you do.
It affects the way anyone would look out into it.
If I stood in front of you
and I held a piece of paper,
you'd see it.
And that's the same with a fence.
Isn't it true that your last campaign,
you received $50,000 from a pack that is anti-fence?
Does that have anything to do with your...
It has nothing to do with it.
Yes, I took the grant.
Why wouldn't I?
Grant?
I don't know if it was a grant.
So that implies that there's a project
that the money's going to go towards.
And you applied for it.
You applied for the anti-fence money. It's called an offense sign. There's going to be an offense sign in front of the freaking's gonna go towards. And you applied for it. You applied for the anti-fence money.
There's gonna be an offense sign in front of the
freaking hike. Dummies.
I'm sorry, are you intoxicated right now?
You are not standing up straight.
I'm standing up.
For what you believe in, right?
Stop leaning
on the podium. What happens if you just take
your body weight off the podium and freestand?
Oh, no hands, no hands.
Fucking idiots.
I can do it.
Oh, my God.
The crowd had a lot of murmurs.
Oh, my God.
WTUV.
What the hell is going on with you guys?
What do you say to those who say that you can get the exact same?
Yeah, I don't look so surprised before you hear the end of the question.
What do you say to those who say that you can get the exact same view on a safer hike such as the stoas gulch those people haven't done both
hikes i'm telling you that right now those people are liars that's like saying you can get the same
thing if you eat an apple and an orange they're two different fruits you could just say it's
apples and oranges you don't have to yeah you don't have to give them about eating sorry that
i made up my own saying.
Some people do that.
That's how sayings become.
That's how a saying comes to be, is you start saying it.
Do you think everyone was born with the understanding of apples and oranges, or do you think someone
started saying it, and then everyone started understanding it?
I say it's like eating an apple and eating an orange.
I think we've gotten slightly off topic.
So 700 people died last week on that hike, you're not really doing anything oh so now we
put up a fence and then what what did they die for well that's the question what are they dying
for they already are dead they already are dead and what did they die for if we now put up a fence
they're already gone for the future people who would have died and didn't because of the fence's erection. It is disrespectful. If I die, if I die.
It's not funny.
700 are dead.
What's up?
You tell us.
No.
You tell us, Sheriff.
You tell us what's up.
You tell us what's up, Sheriff.
No, this is a public forum.
Y'all are asking questions.
Ask your next question.
The reason 700 people die
doesn't affect my decision
is because they're already dead.
I can't bring them back to life.
Why would I try?
I don't believe in the
witch's magic. The witch's magic?
Yeah. The witch's
magic. It's called a cauldron.
Look her up.
The witch's
magic. It's called a cauldron.
That's where the potions get mixed.
Where are we at a disconnect?
I don't understand. Y'all have never read a book.
So if I'm not mistaken,
actually, I'm looking through the brief,
The Witch's Magic, colon, it's called a comma.
That's your ex-wife's latest children's book
that she's writing solo.
Is that right?
Yeah, but I wasn't going to bring it up.
I'm not on a press tour for her book.
If I was on a press tour for her book,
I would be at a bookstore
instead of freaking City Hall.
Next.
Okay.
Is it true
you've been spotted around town
with a new
bow?
Is it true that you're
maybe moving on way too quick?
Say their name.
I'm sorry? Who would you see me around
with? Say their name. A lot of people have seen
you around with Derek, the farmer.
Are y'all together?
Romantically. Romance is such a difficult topic. I'm going to say their name. A lot of people have seen you around with Derek, the farmer. Are you all together romantically?
Romance is such a difficult topic.
Not in definition.
It's pretty, the question was very straightforward.
Is it romantic?
And that's something that I'm trying to figure out too.
I like the guy a lot, but I don't know, you know, because there's so many things you have to consider.
Is he in the right place? Am I in the right place?
If we start now, is it too soon?
If we start later, is it too late?
Will his kids like me?
His kids don't like you. They've been on
TikTok doing videos about that.
Next question.
Sorry. Just back to the feds.
We just got an update. 17 people
have fallen dead to their deaths since the beginning of this press conference.
In the past five minutes?
That's not true.
No, I just got the alert on my phone in the past five minutes.
I'm also getting it.
How many people?
17?
18 now, but yeah.
18 and climbing.
We will light a candle.
I don't know what to do for you.
We're telling you, build a fence.
We're telling you what to do is build a fence.
If I build a fence now, they're still dead.
That's what I'm trying to get through to your head. If I build a fence right now, they're still dead. They don't come a fence. If I build a fence now, they're still dead. That's what I'm trying to get through to your head.
If I build a fence right now, they're still dead.
They don't come back to life because there's a fence now.
Can I paint a picture for you?
You build a fence right now,
and then tomorrow we don't get a text that says 17 people have died.
What do you think about that?
I'll say this.
I'll say this I'll say this
I'm on the fence about it
oh my god
I forgot how much
I love that bit
that's
that's so
that was
I think that might actually
be my favorite bit
from the year
now that we listen back to it
Eric the farmer
do you think you're maybe moving on
way too fast?
I'm laughing. Can you believe
Sheriff and the Mayor?
And is it a comedy? That's not
because that's not funny.
Why are you laughing?
Can I paint a picture for you?
You put up a fence right now and tomorrow we don't get a text
that says 17 people are dead in five minutes.
God. Oh my god. we'll light a candle i'm i can't bring him back i can't define romance it's such a complicated topic well not in definition i like the guy a lot i like the guy. Oh, fuck. That was so good.
Oh, my God. Shelby's so funny.
Oh, my God.
What's up?
I love Caleb, too.
Yeah, in the middle of it.
What's up?
What's up?
We're saying what's up.
He's drunk.
It's the simplest solution.
No hands.
No hands.
What do you guys want?
Offense.
Also, the fact that all three reporters are like really aggressively like
coming at her all at once she's laughing through it oh it's so funny what's up they're so good
we should have that on again too yeah all right what's that oh shit yeah have a bit brandy i think this is a bit of brandy remember that from last year's
uh best of episodes the holiday jude law yeah jude law with his strong jaw jude law with a lock jaw
so he has he had headgear actually is something people didn't know about jude
hey jude lock jaw can't close my mouth maw
uh all right are you ready for in a way you and i are like lennon mccartney
um
yeah i don't know it's like we're the same as them.
It's like in the way that we collaborate and just like our minds.
Just let me think about it.
It's like you don't have to think about it.
It just is.
No, I don't think that's true.
Try the next one.
All right.
Are you ready for our runner up?
Our silver medalist.
Our second place.
Our silver fox.
Our silver fox. Our silver fox.
Honestly, a little bit.
A little bit.
Number two of the best of review review 2021 is Old Navy with Billy and Adam.
Yes!
Billy and Adam are just kindness personified.
I love them.
This episode, it was really, I scrubbed through this one and yeah it was so hard to pick
because literally every scene from this episode are some of my favorite scenes from the whole
year the german exchange student the exchange student who's like i am the king of the navy
you have the the like customer service line of like going back and forth.
I love that one.
It was so good.
And Billy just being so fucking aggressive.
Oh my God.
It was brilliant.
But the one that we picked is just,
this was so,
this has gone down as one of my favorite bits,
I think.
Me too.
I love Billy and Adam.
I wanted,
they're just the best.
I know we literally talk about it every time we have them on of like you guys got us started like every single time and
they're just um they're they're so lovely and they're so funny they also are so fucking quick
like they are they're just their minds work just so just so and they're just so they're just so
wonderful this episode was so fucking fun
yeah we should do we should do another one with them too because i think it's actually almost
been a year i think we had them on last january yep because i was still at home
all right let's let's listen back to this one i'm so excited here we go this is old navy
with billy and adam this is one star. Oh, brutal.
From January 25th, 2021.
Recent.
Brutal.
Not off the press.
Okay, here we go.
I came last Saturday, the 23rd,
and took two underwears.
I was ready to go to the cashier,
but a security employee asked me
to show my pants, but I refused.
Another one came and told me
that he saw me on camera
putting me in underwear in my pants. I was obliged to show me that he saw me on camera putting me in underwear
in my pants.
I was obliged to show them
that they made a wrong accusation.
When they saw that
I didn't steal anything,
a third one asked me
if I wanted to buy anything.
Of course I said no.
Then they brought me to the exit.
After that, I called them
and asked for them to apologize.
The employee said he was sorry
and he took my name.
I said, Dennis, like a dog, and he said name. I said, Dennis, like a dog.
And he said, no.
I said, sorry, like Dieu, God in French.
He took my phone number and told me that he'll call me back on Saturday.
But they didn't.
I called again and they said again that they'd call me on Monday.
I just want to say that I'm a caregiver.
And this is the day that my patient went to take his vaccination for COVID-19.
Plus, I'm 58. I've never stolen
my life. Old Navy.
O like old.
Security. S like
STD. Am I a victim?
V like victory.
Be careful to bother
nice people. There's always justice
from who? From God.
Sometimes you deal with somebody more
important than you see.
This is a crazy person.
This is a crazy person.
When I first read this, I
thought that they were spelling
Old Navy. Yeah, it's not acrostic.
But it was, oh,
like, oh, or whatever, S,
V. I'm like, what are you
spelling?
Don't emphasize the letter.
Of all the batshit crazy stuff,
Dieu was the one that was like, excuse me?
You can't slip into French.
You're a psycho.
We've already established you're a psycho.
Dieu, God in French.
And it's not clarifying at all to say,
that's my name, Dennis, like a dog.
Dogs can be named anything.
It's like, that's in no way clarifying.
You knew he was crazy out the gate
when he said,
I took two underwears.
Yeah.
You can't take two underwears.
Yeah, also phrasing it like,
I took two underwears
sounds like they were stealing.
Exactly.
I know.
If he just said,
he's like,
I picked up two
to then go buy it.
But then he's like,
so I took two
and then they asked me
to show them
because they said it was stealing.
Like, no, I just took them. I didn't. I'm 58. And took two and then they asked me to show them because they said it was stealing. Like, no,
I just took them.
I'm 58.
And then he said,
like, show,
they asked me to show them
my pants,
which leads me to believe,
like, did you put the under,
did you take the underpants
on your pants,
on your legs?
Are you wearing
the underpants?
Apparently on video
they thought that he
stuffed them in his pants.
But I also love
the clarifier that's like,
well, I'm 58.
I've actually never
stolen in my life.
I'm 58.
So, yeah.
Cut me some slack. You're at a
wedding reception giving a speech.
Oh, Peter.
How long has it been, man?
20 years since college?
Yeah, bro. Yeah. I thought that I would
start us off with a poem.
Okay.
The whole crowd is like, aw.
We love that. So many memories.
This could be anything
P
important
important rather
to me that Peter
is
you're a real mainstay in my life Peter
and I hope that you and Lisa have a long
relationship long as in
till death do you
part
E relationship long as in till death do you part e everyone can see how much you guys love each other
right i mean i can see it in the way you guys like i want to find someone that looks at me
the way lisa looks at you peter lean over to peter sorry so that p that was all just the first
letter of the acrostic sometimes it just goes off on his tantrums and it's better to not stop
them it's like waking someone up when they're sleepwalking this is gonna be the longest acrostic. Sometimes it just goes off on its tangents and it's better to not stop them. It's like waking someone up when they're sleepwalking.
This is going to be the longest acrostic poem ever.
Nine.
Let it happen.
Nine.
The number of sexual partners I know that you've had before.
Hold on.
Lisa.
No.
That's not true, honey.
That's not true, honey.
Nine.
You told me four.
You have enough of a sample size to know whether this sexual chemistry is going to work.
I'm sorry, Aunt Elizabeth.
Who? Aunt Elizabeth.
It's my aunt. Aunt Elizabeth.
She's here.
This is crazy, but
yeah. Another P.
Fantastic
spelled with a PH. And that's what this wedding
has been.
I love you, Peter. And lisa welcome to the family thanks buddy means a lot cheers cheers uh thank thank you so much uh that was so beautiful
um am i i don't mean to be rude looking
out to the crowd but am i am i am i just a little too uh drunk off the champagne or did he not spell
peter's name he spelled p e 9 p i was trying to keep track it was yeah thanks dad thank you no i Yeah. Thanks, Dad. Thank you. I was keeping notes here, but P-E-9-P
was the...
P-E-9-P.
If that's...
It's kind of a weird
quirk of his. I kind of let it go.
This is between you and me, Lisa, but
I think he can't spell.
I honestly think that he can't
spell.
I feel bad. I didn't want to call him out or shame him or embarrass him or anything.
I feel like I should go apologize.
I feel like I should go apologize.
R is for the way you look at me.
Just let him go, hon.
O is for the only one I see.
C is very, very extraordinary.
Nine is like the nine in Peter's name, and that is fine.
Now R.
R-O-C-9-R.
See, we just sometimes got to let him just have it, huh?
We all have our quirks.
Hey, Simon. We're on our quirks. Hey, Simon.
We're on the dance floor.
Hey, Simon, can I talk to you for a second?
Hey, hey, congratulations.
Oh, thank you so much.
It means the world that you're here.
And I just want to say,
I'm really sorry for kind of bringing up your problem,
for lack of a better term,
in front of the whole reception.
That was so uncool of me,
and I had no idea.
And so, you know, if you need anything, I here for you and i just i just wanted to say that
i'm oh i dropped my glass that i'm really sorry about that oh after my speech i went straight to
the bathroom what problem do i have you you know you well i mean the the come on you can be honest
with me we're family now you're my brother-in-law. I mean, like the,
the poem you wrote,
just how it was written.
It's fine.
I mean,
like it was really endearing and I think the sentiment was so beautiful.
Um,
but I think,
you know,
if you need help,
just ask.
I'm a teacher.
And so this is kind of what I do.
I didn't want to have to do this. everyone oh yeah yeah we're gonna take a quick poll and then we'll get back to the festivities if you think my poem was the best speech of the
night stand on that corner of the room and if not you stand on the other and if there's not
enough room in that corner then that's fine fine, but my point will be made.
I walk over to one corner.
Nobody follows.
Music slowly comes back,
and everybody just goes back to dancing.
His jaw is on the floor.
Everybody.
Yeah.
Rocking body. Yeah. Everybody. Yeah. Rocking body.
Yeah.
Everybody.
Backstreet's back tonight.
Backstreet's back.
All right.
Lisa's dad walks over to Simon and says, hey, Simon, that was a pretty wild poll. You just took.
Anyway,
I just want to say,
uh, now that we're family and everything,
um,
you know,
my daughter,
she's a teacher.
And if you ever need any help with anything kind of grammar related or
alphabet,
alphabet related or ABC,
any ABC stuff that you might need help with, even ABCD.
Yeah.
I yell out from back, or one, two, threes.
Yeah.
Any of the numbers and letters stuff, like Lisa is so smart and she'd be, you know, we're
family now and we don't need to be embarrassed and just want to kind of put that out there.
I thought your speech and your poem were really lovely, really heartfelt and beautiful.
But again, anyc stuff you need um no no shame no embarrassment but lisa's
happy to help you out yeah i actually really fucking appreciate that okay watch the language
but i cool sorry i really f u 9 5 k l 4 appreciate that I know there's children around. All right.
How do you spell your name?
I've heard Simon spelled so many different ways.
I'm just curious as to how you spell Simon.
S-I-M.
And that's it.
Okay.
So, yeah, I would say if ever you want any kind of – I'm not even saying like a formal tutoring thing,
but even if you just want to chat with Lisa about your name and the letters in it or the letters that aren't in it or what the difference even is between letters and numbers.
Yeah.
She would be, I think, happy.
I speak for her when I say she'd be happy to help you out.
We're family.
Just, again, letters and numbers and how they're different and just the fact that they are different yes yeah and if you ever want help
writing the next wedding speech come to me because you know great i will take that i will
definitely take that subpar and not in a golf way okay um well anyway happy that you're here, Simon. Can I give you a hug?
May I hug you?
I'm just waiting for your consent. Sorry, I was thinking about that.
We've all come over to the corner of the room now.
The entire wedding is now standing in the corner waiting for you to either hug the father-in-law or not.
The DJ's even over here now.
The music has stopped.
Is Simon going to?
He's acknowledged that he can't spell.
He's acknowledged that he needs help.
If he'll just hug the father-in-law, we can get back to the wedding and celebrate.
Simon, we can't continue until you hug my dad.
We're all in the corner of this banquet hall.
Just hug Lisa's father-in-law, Simon, for the love of God.
Please, Simon.
Simon, this is taking way too long, buddy.
I'm thinking, I'm thinking.
Everybody's so close to me in this corner.
I didn't ask you to do that.
You did.
You literally asked us to do it.
In the poll, not to hug him.
All right.
A few people start trickling away from the corner.
They've lost interest in this potential hug.
Well, now hang on a minute,
because if I'm going to do it, I want an audience.
You told us that you didn't even want us here in the first place.
I'm so alone in this world.
Right?
So to see Peter and Lisa and what they have,
I'm four years older than Peter.
How humiliating is that that I haven't found my spouse?
Humiliating.
This is Peter.
I'm approaching Lisa.
Hey, Lisa, listen. I got to apologize for Simon. He's really
kind of taken the spotlight away from
our special day. I was gonna
say.
I think that
if it's up to me,
I think that maybe you and I go our own ways.
We both start fresh.
I'm sorry. This has just been, I'm overwhelmed by this whole thing.
For a little respect when you get home.
Yeah, baby.
When you get home.
Are you divorcing me?
We got married like 30 minutes ago.
That's how you spell respect.
The whole father-in-law refuses to hug my best friend.
That's how you spell respect.
And sock it to me, Simon to me, Simon to me, Simon to me, Simon to me, Simon to me Simon to me Simon to me Simon to me Simon to me
Simon to me
Simon to me
I don't even want to be part of this family anyway
I mean
Really quick
Cut to Simon
Years from now
He has a wife
And they have a dog
And they don't want to get the dog too excited
Okay
Simon we need to go take him on a W-A-L-K
So I just like
Whenever you're ready Just let me just tell me Then And then I'll know We're gonna take take him on a W-A-L-K. So I just like, whenever you're ready,
just let me just tell me then and then I'll know.
We're going to take the dog on a roller coaster?
Simon to me, Simon to me, Simon to me, Simon to me, Simon to me.
R-E-S-P-I-9-0.
That's how you spell respect.
R-E-S-P-I-9-0 that's how you spell respect r-e-s-b-i-9-0 that's how you spell
suspected simon to me simon to me simon to me simon to me simon to me what are you doing
i forgot about you calling everyone to different sides of the room yeah're going to take a quick at a wedding. At a wedding. Oh my god.
P-E-9-P
is what he said.
Yeah, I was keeping track.
It's such a simple bit
but it's so funny to me.
Oh my god.
Just people who don't know
how to fucking spell.
It's also like
and the difference
if you need help
with your ABC stuff
ABCD stuff
and also just
the difference between
numbers and letters
and that they are different. And then he and then can i give you a hug it's like a it's like a tim robinson sketch i'm
thinking i'm thinking i'm thinking i'm thinking well don't trickle away i want to like i want an
audience also like it's like the whole business you can't spell but that you're also changing
the lyrics of respect r-e-C-9-5-0.
That is how you spell Respect.
L-O-V-E and Respect, the only two songs that are based on spelling.
R-O-C-9-R.
I love that bit.
Well, we should take a quick break and thank some sponsors and then come back with our number one episode of 2022 as voted upon by the listeners.
By the 2020 you.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
We'll be right back.
And we're back. Riley, what a journey it's been 52 weeks over 60 episodes how many episodes it's actually because it's 12 plus 52 so it's 74 episodes a year because we do one bonus friday
a month well there's also a milestone we hit this year is our 100th up 100th up my god that was huge that was huge i don't actually don't know if we're because this
is episode 118 so are we gonna make it we're not gonna make it to 200 next year 200 will be 2023
that's insane yeah it'll be early i wonder if we'll record um in person by the time we get to
200 i wonder if the head gum studio will be done and done-proofed.
Well, that's the thing, because I think COVID will be over,
but still we won't have a working studio, is my guess.
By 2023, we still won't be able to record in person.
That is correct.
That is 100% correct.
That is correct.
100% correct, Marty.
Marty!
Riley, are you ready?
All right, Jeff, let's do it let's get
number one your
voted top
episode of review review 2021
number
one of 2021
is
Brett Mintz with Ben
friggin Schwartz with literal
Sonic himself
my god I mean I can't believe we got him on the show Ben friggin Schwartz. With literal Sonic himself. My God.
I mean.
I can't believe we got him on the show.
That, I mean, we really, it was perfect because he was quarantining in his hotel room before.
In Vancouver, I think, shooting.
Nothing else to do.
And the fact that we had to get Amir to email him a video saying that he was a chipmunk
the whole process was multiple takes unbelievable multiple takes was so fun and he's he's the nicest
guy this one was controversial because people were like oh like he's being rude when we were
recording i didn't feel like he was being rude no i didn't at all and what's funny is that like
literally when we would be like and we're gonna take a quick break in like the moment like in those break moments he literally was saying
he's like i hope you could like i hope people know i'm kidding i hope people don't think i'm
like being a dick and we're like no it's so clearly a bit and he's like yeah we were like
oh people will get it yeah and he literally told us he's like i think you guys are amazing you guys
are so wonderful this is just a bit i hope i'm not like i hope you guys don't take it seriously
we're like oh no not at all and then of course it comes out and people are like,
Oh my God,
he's an asshole.
Um,
I've never been more nervous for anything in my life.
I,
I was more nervous for the Lamorne Morris.
Really?
I was so nervous.
Cause we've met Ben like a couple of times.
So like,
I knew it was going to be good.
I was so nervous.
I was really nervous.
The end,
the what shook me was so,
um,
kind, kind. So just so wonderful and like
so heartfelt yeah it was just it was an unbelievable day like i left that episode
one i think it was just also he fucking he flipped the show on his head and fucking called our asses
out um it was so funny.
It was just, I was buzzing after that episode.
It was unbelievable.
He was one of our gold,
he was like one of our golden geese.
From the beginning, from the beginning.
All right, without further ado,
our number one episode from 2021,
Breathmints with Ben Schwartz.
Benjamin Schwartz.
Five stars.
The title is Love.
I've been using these breath strips for years
and I love it.
It's perfect for a quote unquote emergencies.
I always keep a pack in my purse.
What do you have?
What were you thinking, Ryan?
I didn't have a specific one in mind.
I was just, I love the idea.
You just had a lot of different small ones.
Tell me what your small ones are.
Not a small one. Just the idea of a breath mint emergency is very
funny to me of what constitutes an emergency i love it all right jeff now you can't start like
that that was what i was gonna do um all right
hmm i could i could initiate you if you want.
No, no, no, no, no.
No fucking way.
No fucking way.
I don't fucking think so.
Can you read it one more time?
Absolutely.
That'll give you time to think if you want.
Go right.
Yeah.
Let me pull it back up.
Okay, here we go.
I have been using these breath strips for years and I love it.
It's perfect for emergencies.
I always keep a pack in my purse.
So don't touch emergencies.
And Jeff, whenever you're ready.
Yep.
Oh, yeah, you need.
Yeah, I have a Phillips head.
I keep it in my purse all the time.
Did you just see Mitchell versus the machines?
Yep.
And I really took it to heart.
Your voice is getting shaky.
Like you're a little nervous.
No, no.
It's just like, yeah, I've never been this close
to somebody who used to play on an MLB team.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Sorry.
So you do have that Phillips head for me though?
I do have that Phillips head.
And again, that is Alex Rodriguez over there.
Are you serious?
No, that's what I'm saying.
That's why I'm nervous.
Oh my God.
You're talking about A-Rod from the Mariners and the Yankees?
From the Mariners?
He was definitely on the Rangers.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Definitely on the Yankees.
He was on the Yanks, yeah.
Dude, he's going out with J-Lo now, I think, right?
Or no, he got divorced or something?
No, they divorced.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh my God.
Should we talk to him about it or something?
I feel like he could use the emotional support.
That's what I'm thinking.
I feel like celebrities don't really like when you go up to them, but he's dealing with
something right now.
This would be the time for us to actually go up and talk to him, don't you think?
I say we're never going to see him again.
So even if we piss him off, no harm, no foul.
That's a great way to think about talking to someone that you've seen on television.
That's a perfect way of thinking about it.'s perfect all right this is what i think we should
do yeah we're gonna go up to him but we can't just go up to him like a oh like i love your work it
has to be like a bigger entrance than that uh okay fire fire what are you doing holy shit you
i'm sorry to interrupt your guys lunch but I just heard there was a fire and should we
go help them
in the kitchen
it's a federal crime
oh my god dude
I'm so sorry
is there
is there a fire
no no no
we heard about
Jennifer Lopez
yeah
if there's not
a fucking fireman
then I'm gonna
go back and enjoy
my lunch
no they just told me
that it's fine
they just told me
that it's fine
was it cause you
like stopped being
inventive in the sack or Jesus no I'm just told me that it's fine. They just told me that it's fine. Was it because you stopped being inventive in the sack?
Jesus.
No, I'm just...
Was it?
Was it because of that?
Our biggest question is, is it because you weren't inventive enough in the sack and that's
why Jennifer Lopez left?
You can talk to us, dude.
We're just normal dudes.
We don't know who you are.
You don't know who I am, but you know about my divorce with Jennifer Lopez, so obviously
you know who I am.
Well, you know, that's the context we know you from.
Nothing else.
That's all we know about you.
Yeah.
All right.
I actually don't feel comfortable sharing details
about my intimate personal life with two strangers.
I'll just start sharing something about my life
and maybe I'll make you feel better about yours.
No, man, you really don't have to.
It's all good.
Sometimes if you're vulnerable,
it gives other people permission to be vulnerable.
Barbara, I was dating this girl Barbara for so long
and she's like, I don't want to go out with you.
And I was like, prove it.
And she left and I was like, why?
And I still go to her house all the time and she's not into it and i'm like um
so what's j-lo like what's j-lo like you're stalking your ex and you shouldn't do that
anymore what's j-lo like she's wonderful i wish her the best you know it didn't work out
um and that's all i have to say are you guys members of the press off the record this is all
off the record was it missionary did you just do too much missionary
you know what
sorry for snapping you guys earlier it's been really hard
and so to have people
strangers even who care
and don't want to talk about baseball or anything
else but want to talk about baseball
what the fuck is baseball
you don't know what baseball is
it's okay if you don't know who I am,
but you don't even know
what baseball is?
Did you mean basketball?
Was that the typo?
Oh, we love basketball.
New York Knicks this year.
Are you kidding me?
Emmanuel Quickly,
this is unbelievable season
for the Knicks.
Randall has handles.
I was going to talk about
every intimate detail
about my sex life,
about my personal history,
about J-Lo, everything,
but you know what?
It seems like you guys just want to wax basketball,
so I'll let you get back to that.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
We want to talk about that.
We would love to talk about that.
We want to be there for you, dude.
I don't know what the fuck you guys want from me.
You're saying you don't give a shit about who I am,
but you want to be there for me?
You want me to open up?
We'd love to hear the details. We'd love to get into the
nitty gritty of it. And if you want me to be
vulnerable, just to kind of complete the circle,
I have a horribly disfigured
ass. Show me your ass.
No, you don't have to show me your ass.
You don't have to show me your ass.
Show A-Rod your ass.
Sorry, I didn't see my ass. I just figured that'd be a good
nickname for you. Alex Rodriguez, A-Rod.
Does anybody else call you that? Yeah, I don't know, man. Oh, nice. Okay't see my ass. I just figured that'd be a good nickname for you. Alex Rodriguez, A-Rod. Does anybody else call you that? Yeah, I don't know, man.
I'm not, yeah.
Oh, nice.
Okay, I see your app.
You can pull your pants up.
Tell me what's wrong with it.
It's a very short crack.
It's a very short crack.
It's a short crack.
It almost looks like there, yeah,
there just might be a hole and a half.
You should get it checked out.
It's almost one cheek, to be honest.
It looks like home base.
So you do know what baseball is.
I meant when you're climbing.
Base camp. That's true.
Base camp he's talking about. It has another name
also. Base camp. Maybe there's something
to be said about
people opening up to you and you wanted to get vulnerable
to. Yeah.
You know what? We're brothers
this afternoon. It's what we are. We're brothers.
We're brothers today.
Sex makes me very emotional
and it doesn't for her.
And it hit a certain point
where she just,
it got kind of too emotionally intimate for her.
And I can't say that's why she left,
but I will say I've never had a connection
with anyone like that in my life.
And I'm sorry I don't have a weird ass.
I'm sorry I don't stalk my ex.
I'm just a guy with a big heart and um yeah so how far along in the relationship
does this happen was this like after your mvp season or before it got it i'm gonna head back
to my table if we're all sharing disfigured parts of our body let me show you the feet
yeah let's see the feet i have so i have no real toes i just have like big stumps they are big
they're big stumps it They are big stumps.
It actually kind of looks like my ass.
Yeah, it looks like your butt.
And I guess we get in it there.
No, no, it's perfect.
That was a perfect one.
The game was clear.
I felt the beats were even clearer.
That might be my favorite one we've ever done.
Is that crazy to say?
That earnestly is my favorite end to a scene you've ever done.
Disappointed, it does look like your butt.
Do you know what I realized?
And I got very nervous when I did it.
I'm in a hotel because we're filming here.
And I just yelled fire at the top of my lungs four times in a hotel.
And then I literally literally and the hotel just
opened like it's been closed because of covid so like there's like six people in this whole hotel
so like things are starting to get back to normal and people are trying to figure stuff out
and i wonder if what i just did was illegal but i don't think so because i'm in a hotel room it
can't be illegal right it's not illegal yeah because that's your dwelling place for the okay
good i would just because i literally heard a movement outside and I was like, oh, there's only
five other people in the whole hotel because they just
opened. I was like, did I just
commit a felony?
Yeah.
And that was kind of the onus of this. We caught your
ass. This has got you journalism.
You see a fire department come in here.
The Do Not Disturb sign was on. Yeah, sorry.
I yelled fire because I was doing
this scene. You want to know about the scene? Okay, sorry. I yelled fire because I was doing this scene.
You want to know about the scene?
Okay, yeah.
Alex Rodriguez.
While he was playing Alex Rodriguez.
You have any notes?
Yeah.
Her middle name is Marie.
Yeah.
And Aaron.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, man.
My favorite line.
Actually, it actually kind of looks like my ass.
Yeah, it looks like your butt.
I forgot that another part of
the whole bit of it was like, after
every scene, he would give notes on
the scene. Oh my god.
No notes.
What is baseball? I don't know what that is.
You know who I am. And was that after your
MBC season? So you do know who I am.
It actually kind of looks like home base. So you know baseball no was that a typo i mean i love it's like you can
it's okay if you don't know who i am but you don't know what baseball is i don't know baseball what
is that is it a sport what is that is that basketball my god that was my favorite bit
from the episode and yeah just having him on was a dream come true even people who don't really
know comedy too i think we're excited that like when we shared it to instagram and they were like
holy shit you got ben schwartz yeah that was just that was just such a fucking treat he is a gem
he is such a gem he's a righteous gem stone just yeah oh my god we're talking about stone
well that was we did it we did it
those were the top
another year in the bag
another year in the bag
the top eight episodes
unbelievable
of the show
and thank you to everybody
who voted guys
thank you so much
thank you for everyone
who listened this year
yes
it's just been such a ball
and if you feel like
you might have a friend
who might like the show
please send them this episode
or the other best of episode
we figure it's a good intro for people some of the best bits have a friend who might like the show, please send them this episode or the other best of episode. I, we,
I,
we figure it's a good intro for people.
Um,
some of the best,
uh,
bits from the show and so that you don't have to give them just one
episode.
Um,
cause sometimes on the subreddit people are like,
what's a good intro episode.
And I think that these are the best of episodes or fun intros are good.
Yeah.
Good.
Um,
yeah.
Some of the best guests and some of the best bits.
Please share them around.
Yeah.
We'd love to bring more people to the party.
Into the fold.
Yeah.
But before we go.
Yeah.
Riley and I wanted to share an honorable mention bit.
That's one of our favorite bit from this year.
So let's get into that.
Here we go.
Drum roll, please.
Riley and I's favorite episode from the past year.
Car Antlers 1. please Riley and I's favorite episode for the past year car antlers one from last December actually last December oh
my god let's not even intro it let's
just go here we go this is a five-star review from Richard J.M.
Richard Jingle Malls.
Got it.
Here we go, five stars.
Subject line, other drivers loved my red decorated SUV.
I was traveling on I-75 on Christmas morning going to Sisters.
Everyone stopped giving me the finger.
What's the punctuation on that?
No, none.
The whole thing, none.
So it wasn't everyone stopped, comma, giving me the finger?
Oh, sorry.
No, there's an exclamation point.
So yeah, everyone stopped giving me the finger.
Exclamation point?
Exclamation point.
Really joyful.
Oh my God.
I just imagine someone just commuting to work normally.
Fuck you.
Fuck you, Honda Civic.
I'm going 65.
I don't know what else to change.
I'm in the middle lane.
I couldn't be less offensive to you.
Goes a little farther.
A car pulls up next to you it's a little girl in the back seat just shaking her head what i didn't do anything dude the car slows down a little bit the mom's in the front seat also
kidding me with this i'm doing what you're going slower than me and you're in the further left lane a school bus pulls up and it as it passes
every kid has the window rolled down and one by one they spit at you oh god
i'm trying to roll up my window but it's one of like the actual roll-ups oh god it's wet
i did nothing to you guys i'm not even in the same lane.
I'm literally staying in my lane.
You get on a ramp and you're at a stoplight.
Car pulls up next to you.
I'm telling you to roll down your window.
Oh, okay.
Did you see?
Yeah, rolls it down.
Did you see that back there?
That was nuts.
I saw that.
I am so sorry.
Did something happen?
Like, I couldn't help it. I mean, I know we only have a couple seconds couple seconds as you're doing this you're kind of slowly inching ahead of me and diagonal but i
don't notice so that you're like kind of blocking my view i don't know sorry about that i really
don't i don't know why everybody has their like honestly panties in a bunch somebody who clearly
they know it's a tag team effort rear ends me ends me really hard, pushing me into you too. So I'm liable for damage.
What the fuck was that?
Oh my God.
Let's go yell at this guy, right?
He rear ended me.
You just slammed into my driver's side door.
Are you kidding?
The other guy gets out.
Hey, what the fuck was that?
You crashed into me.
Why were you stopped?
I'm out of light. I don don't know this is it like it's
green it's green now but it wasn't green when i was stopped oh my god literally ruined fuck this
guy guy gets back to his apartment finally his car is just like destroyed it dies as he gets to the
apartment okay opens the apartment oh you're home yeah you won't believe the fucking drive i just
had it was i look out the window i see the car no i i can believe it you can believe it or you can
see what happened i can i mean well seeing is. So by the state of, you know, your car, I can look.
Honey, what are those?
What's that contract?
What are those law papers?
As of today, we are no longer married.
I didn't sign anything.
And that's exactly why.
Because you never do anything, Simon.
You never do.
You never take control.
You never pull into a lane that you want to be in.
You never edge forward at a stoplight that you know is about to turn green.
And so you're like, I'm going to get a head start.
Right?
You never go five miles over the speed limit.
And all the while, your car looks like Rudolph.
So how is that supposed to make me feel?
I don't know.
I thought you liked the antlers.
You're too nice. you're too nothing well i'm sorry that you feel that way bad apology i know this christmas
i want more than a box of nothing you're like like, cut to me. You kicked me out.
I'm just walking sullenly around like a snowy street.
I hear like coming from like a garage door looking place.
I'm like, what is this?
I poke my head in.
It's a boxing gym.
Oh, wow.
Hey, hey, hey.
If you want, you want to take a picture to last longer. He kind oh, oh, oh. Hey, hey, hey. If you want to take a picture, it'll last longer.
He kind of realizes something in himself.
Hey, why don't you shut up?
What the fuck you talking about?
I was just saying, why don't you shut up?
Why don't we shut up?
Why don't we fucking shut up?
How about you get in the ring and I'll shut you up with my fucking fist in your face, huh?
Why don't I get in that ring and I show you what a piece of this is all right everyone eddie eddie
glove him up glove him up let's get in here big guy this guy who's like has like 50 pounds on him
comes up to him he's like he's about to do it i knock you out in one punch oh total knockout
everybody in the gym like stops what they're doing. Holy shit. Vincent!
Vincent, come out here!
A Sylvester Stallone type comes out.
What?
This guy just knocked Travis out in one punch.
One punch?
That's never happened.
Who the hell are you anyway?
I'm Simon.
Last name?
It's Simon.
Well, Simon, Simon, you ready for the big leagues?
Cut to Simon is now the heavyweight champ of the world.
He's on a billboard.
Everyone on the freeway looks up.
They all kind of like, they smile.
They were about to give him the finger, and then he put it down.
Everyone in unison.
We all knew you had it in you, Simon.
And then Simon's ex-wife is in a car with another man.
They're driving around.
So babe, what do you want for dinner tonight before I rail you?
What are you looking at?
Just a little bit of history.
But as for dinner, I'll take some shrimp scampi and then I'll take the car.
I'm getting out.
What?
He has like a dent in his head.
Bald as hell.
He has cauliflower rugby ears.
He's like a thumb creature from Spy Kids.
Cut to her knocking on the door of a huge mansion.
Hello?
Oh.
Hi, Simon.
Lindsay.
So, this is your new place.
Yeah, it does the job.
Yeah.
Can I come in? It's a little cold out here.
Now's not really a good time.
Hey, Simon.
Simon.
I'm crying.
Two women coming.
Yeah, yeah.
They're both wearing really corny Playboy bunny ears.
Hey, Simon.
One of them's wearing his button-down white shirt.
Yeah, ladies, I'll be right there.
Oh, sorry.
I didn't realize you had company.
Who's this?
Oh, sweetie, I like your scarf.
I didn't know Infinity Scarves made it since 2008.
And you might want to wear a skirt.
Oh, well, it's pretty cold, so I have jeans on.
Oh.
Go back to bed, ladies.
I'll be there in a minute.
He's wearing his championship belt and nothing else.
So what is it you wanted?
You know what?
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have bothered you, especially after how I acted.
This is so embarrassing.
I should just go.
Yeah, probably.
Wait, no, Simon.
Close the door.
Title card.
Merry Christmas.
From Simon Simon
that was the darkest
oh my
god I just had to
take a lap
I forgot that his
name was Simon Simon
I forgot that
he like the montage like him
walking through the dark snowy streets
and seeing a gym and just wanting to
beat the shit out of somebody
why don't you shut up
why don't you come in the room
that's so elaborate
it's literally a movie
oh my god
us saying that
that will forever be my favorite moment on this show
regardless of what happens is us both having the same thought of, like,
Simon.
But then it's the fact that there were two is so funny.
It's perfect.
There had to be two.
There had to be two.
There had to be two.
There had to be two.
So, yeah, that's, I think, unequivocally our favorite bit from the past year. Oh, my God. there had to be two um so yeah
that's I think unequivocally our favorite bit
from the past year
my god unbelievable
Simon unbelievable
wow
another year in the books
in the bag I should go yep
yep wait no sorry
closes the door in her face that's not how it's
supposed to end oh Oh, my God.
He likes the new life.
Yeah, he loves it.
He loves it.
Oh, shit.
Oh, wow.
We did it.
We did it.
Guys, thank you so much for listening to another year of Review Review.
Thank you so much to those who voted in the Google form.
And I can't wait to do another year.
Another year.
Who knows what the next year will have. That the exciting part of it who knows i'm so i'm so excited for this next year new bits
yeah new themes new characters new dreams oh that's really good yeah i want to be an interesting
theme uh a lot of uh the best of episodes were with guests so i wonder if i wonder if a those
are easier to remember on the form because the rest of them are always just you and me.
And they probably all blend together.
Or is it that people like guest episodes?
Maybe we should try and have a guest on every month.
We've talked about doing that before.
Let us know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hit us up.
Hit us up.
Post on the subreddit.
Talk to us in the Discord.
Here's Jeff's personal cell phone number.
No, no, no, no number no no no no no no no
um
but yeah
we'll see you guys again
in the new year
uh
we hope that you have
a happy new year
happy new year
stay safe
yes
um
and I'm sending you
a bunch of romantic kisses
and I'm sending platonic kisses
um
because
you know
you don't want to assume
that people are into you
romantically
and all the other things
no I'm sending them to you they're in the mail you can take them if you want to assume that people are into you romantically and all the other things. No, I'm sending them to you.
They're in the mail.
You can take them if you want
or you can return them.
So you're kissing an envelope
and sending it to
the thousands of listeners
individually?
Yep.
It's a lot of money.
It's a lot of money and time and effort.
Worth it.
Not really.
You can follow Riley and Spa
on Instagram
at Riley and Spa
on Twitter
at Riley Coyote
and the show on Instagram
at Review Review
and on Reddit
r slash Review Review and the HeadGum at review review and on Reddit are slash review review and the head gum discord.
You can,
I think it's head gum.com slash discord or discord.com slash head gum.
You can actually follow Jeff on Instagram,
which sucks,
but it's at Jeffrey James and on Instagram.
I mean,
sorry,
at Twitter at Jeff Boyardee,
unfortunately it's fortunately,
but thank you all so much for listening.
This show would literally could not be possible without listeners fortunately but thank you all so much for listening this show would
literally could not
be possible without
listeners
so thank you
keep the theme song
submissions coming
and we're so grateful
I'm so grateful
to do this show
and I can't wait
for the next year
and can't wait for
a live show
2022
it's gonna happen
alright
Arrivederci
that was a
Hiddem Original