Review Revue - Best of 2022 (Part 1)

Episode Date: December 20, 2022

Geoff's farewell tour from hosting Review Revue kicks off with the first half of the Best of Review Revue 2022! Join Reilly & Geoff as they countdown numbers 8 through 5 of the best improv bits of the year, as voted by YOU - the listeners! Tune in next Tuesday for part two, and be sure to check out the video version on the Headgum YouTube channel! Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjames Twitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardee <><> Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. And participating restaurants for a limited time. This is a HeadGum Original. I remember this thing.

I remember loving the shit out of it. This was the peak of comedy. This was like 2007. What is that mysterious clapping noise? It's kind of catchy. Jeff, Jeff, Jeffery James. Jeff, Jeff, Jeffery James. Antspawn!

Jeffery James. Antspawn! Jeff, Jeffery James. Antspawn! Jeff, Jeff, Jeffery James, Antspawn! Jeff, Nog, Jeff, Nog, Jeffery, James, Antspawn! Nog, Jeff, Nog, Jeffery, James, Antspawn! Nog, Jeff, Nog, Jeffery, James, Antspawn! Nog, Jeff, Nog, Jeffery, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for 11, for Oh, no. He gets it. Jeffery. Brian. Well, Evan's really the highly. Jeffery. Jeffery.

This is hypnotizing. My words. Brian. Singing our song all day long at Headcom. I found the source of the clapping. It's Jeff's massive dump truck ass. What's that? Horrifying.

Is that it? No, there's more. Okay, that's what I was worried about. And now an acrostic poem read in the honor of Jeffrey Aaron James. Awful. G is for the way that you're gone for my life. Still another show. E is for the everything that Riley brings to the show.

Well, that's true. O is for all of the O's that we shared. We've never had an orgasm together, any of us. F is for how fucked this show is without you. I don't think so. No, better off. F is for how fucked this world is

for letting this happen. Alright. You gotta relax. R is for Alfred who is taller than you. Same height. They're both 6'1". E is for NADPOD.

No way. No way. And Y. Y is for why wasn't Alfred co-host sooner? We're all thinking it. I miss you, Jeff.

I'm still here. I love you, Jeff. Still on the job. Another carrot snatch banger. It's always weird. I guess, when did we stop using McCartney? Years ago. Two years ago?

Ten. What? The song wasn't even out yet we stopped using it i would say a year in yeah because we got a cease and desist no we didn't no no joke got the cease and desist from some other band did we get some kind of litigation though or at least some kind of warning they got a warning and so then i remember texting you being like hey just so that we don't have to like edit every episode ever yeah we should probably start stop doing it and then it gave way to a bunch of i know i love the theme songs and that was incredible uh that potter

puppet pals parody yeah um what's happening oh i was just gonna open this champagne this song makes me cry every new... No. I thought we used this song every time for the best ofs. This is a particularly beautiful version. I'm gonna sob. Let's dive into the sadness, and then we can get to the gladness.

Oh! All right, I'm not sad anymore. the gladness. Ah! All right, I'm not sad anymore. I know we're already recording this, but I want to have a personal recording. You want me to do it, or do you want to do it? You do it. I'm terrified of it. Right at all the cameras. There's no safe

glass on the wall, cameras, expensive equipment, lights, and a TV, and then you. They're gonna kill us. Ah! Woo! Shee! Into a pint glass. Into a pint glass for this Irish lass.

So much champagne! Neither of us are driving. I've listened to... Oh, no. Oh, fuck, I wanted a big cymbal crash there Shortest legs I've ever seen in the game This is horrendous No, it was great Aye Oh, cheers No, it was great. Aye.

Oh, cheers. Cheers. We've got like three hours of this shit. I know. I think we should start with it and then end with it. Start with the sadness and then end with the sadness. So, welcome. If you're just listening on audio, get your ass over to YouTube because we're recording this shit.

Yeah. This is the only video we're recording this shit. Yeah. This is the only video episode we've ever done. No. Oh, no, that's. No, we've done one. I thought we only did a clip from that one. That's true. We've never released a full video. This is the only.

Well, what better time to do it? Yeah. I feel like I'd be remiss not to point out my little legs. We've been talking about the legs. So, still have a broken toe, fractured toe. And I texted Jeff when I was on my way over. You're out of the boot? I'm out of the boot.

I have carbon insoles. And I can only wear carbon insoles with these. And so I'm like, my shoes don't go with my outfit. Now I'm cold again. And so we looked on the monitor and my legs look so short. I look like child's legs. I mean, we're here for a while. I think we should sock it.

That clang was the carbon insole. Taking off the shoes to here. Is it actually made of metal yes so this is part one of our two-part best of the year third year in a row third year in a row and also the first i will be here all night um the first of the two of the final Jep-isodes, as someone said on Discord. The final Jeps. It still doesn't feel real to me. But it does feel novel and different because we're doing it on video. We don't have a producer in here because it's like 7.30 at night. How do you feel?

I feel sad. I feel feel sad. I feel mostly sad. I mean, I'm, I think that's why, like, so we ordered Thai food from my favorite Thai place that you've never tried, so I'm excited for you. We might have to microwave it. I've never tried. It has been here

for 20 minutes. Perfect. We have champagne. On episode two, we're gonna make a cocktail. And we're doing it on video. We're in studio. So I feel like I, A a i wanted to do it special but b it's also like all those things are like salves to make it less yes because it's really fun to do this yeah and as i was like finding the time codes for the fan favorited vote as voted through the google form i'm so excited there's some really funny stuff that we're gonna listen to so i think all my sadness will be combated by the gimmicks and then i'm probably going to have my sad moment privately after this

because it's also hard for me to cry we'll probably have a moment before we leave the studio probably because we'll never see each other again which is crazy yeah well that's not what we talked about and it's like wild that it's like this is the last time we'll ever are never see each other again which is crazy yeah well that's not what we talked about and it's like wild that it's like this is the last time we'll ever are you moving

talk to each other what do you mean be around each other changing your number why why I think it's I think I'm sad

to not have this again but I think I'm also like excited for our futures and I also am like it is a at the same time it's a big deal and at the other at this it's a big deal and at the same time it's not that big a deal because our friendship exists outside of this show as well yeah we still do the sketches we're gonna i'm gonna be on the show hopefully again as a guest i mean i know we'll see is your attitude

but yeah it's like the changing of the seasons, I think. There's a beauty to it and there's a deep, deep sadness to it. I guess ambivalent is the word, but right now it's sadness. It's deep sadness, but also I'm really proud of us. That's what I kind of want to focus these on. Yeah. Because I'm like. I'm so excited.

I don't know. I only know one of one of the the 10 i don't even know where it falls yeah and that one was like i figured it would be everyone could guess what it is and of course it was gonna be yeah but i'm so excited i don't know any of the rest also because these are the last jepps not there The show's going to go on for years. But maybe in between each best of 2022 clip, we could also ping pong back and forth some of our favorite memories of the last three years. Yep. Because it's not only the best of 2022, it's also sort of the best of the best of review review

part one phase one yeah because now we're gonna enter review review phase two and then three is gonna be where

Alfred ousts your ass yeah and brings in fucking I don't know Gary Steingart what was wild

so when this comes when when my first episode with Alf comes out beginning of January here's a little peek behind the curtain so I recorded Alf and I recorded my first episode with Alf comes out beginning of January, here's a little peek behind the curtain. So I recorded, Alf and I recorded our first episode together yesterday. And on that episode, I talked about how the news came out two days ago.

So when we're recording this, the news of you, like, it's all really wild. The timeline's crazy because it's also December. Yes. So everybody's banking apps. So it was really fun to do the first episode of ALF and really weird. And like we talked about how it's like we've never done this show without each other. And so that was like, it was really fun. We had such a great time.

You guys are going to love him. And but it was just because the timeline of it is very weird. So it's like it was so weird to record an episode with ALF because it's like, yeah, the hell yeah, this is what it's going to be. And also Jeff's not done yet. And so it was just really, it was so weird to record an episode with Valve because it's like, yeah, hell yeah, this is what it's going to be. And also, Jeff's not done yet. And so it was just really, it's really crazy. My body has no idea what's going on. But that's also why we agreed to make the transition at the end of this year, though, because I think that as sad as I am, I also think this is a great send off to do the best of. Yeah.

Where we're relaxed. We have drinks. We have food. We don't have to improvise which i love improvising but it is like it's you have to be more on versus now like these best ofs we get to just be ourselves which is fun yeah what's let's just like fucking get to it already number eight let's just fucking get to it already we have we have a lot to get to so i'm sorry it's just like i feel like we're droning on and on about how riley's sad let's just fucking get to it already. We have a lot to get to so I'm down to start. Sorry, it's just like I feel like we're droning on and on about how Riley

is sad. Let's just fucking get to it already. Yeah, we can't. Are you okay? I have children's legs. That's why you're sad? That's why I'm mad. Too many emotions at once I would say. Yeah. I was leaving the house and I'm like,

Daniel, what do you think? He's like, you look so nice. And I'm like, I gave a shit. Is just Jeff gonna be seeing me? Yeah, the video thing was a surprise. I'm like, Daniel, what do you think? He's like, you look so nice. And I'm like, like I gave a shit. It's just Jeff going to be seeing me. Yeah, the video thing was a surprise. I taught my, well, Casey Donahue taught me how to use these. It was a very thoughtful surprise that we have this now for posterity. You look great. You look like there's something you would wear out. Except you're 20. All right, are we ready for number eight of 2022,

the best ever review review? Are you ready to find out what it is? I'm ready. Oh, so this champagne's really good. Daddy splurged a little bit. Number eight, The best number of the year of year 2022 is

Sheets 2 with Daniel Rasheed. Wow. Yeah. Daniel, honey, you made it to the big leagues. Wow.

Sheets 2. What do you remember of this episode? This was like last January. I don't remember it. I do not remember it. I don't really either. I'm sure it was really fun. It must have been fun enough to have been

voted in the top of the year. I just wanted a fanfare. Is this better? I like that. That feels regal. I remember. Yeah, what do you remember? We did Sheets. Was he even on Sheets? Should we get a numbers crunch on that?

I don't think he was. Wait, I don't even remember doing Sheets, not gonna lie. Well, we clearly did two, and I remember we did them within, like, two weeks. That's right. Everyone was... That's right. We did Sheets, and then we made it a bit, because we're like, oh, we want to have Daniel on, and we're like, how funny if we did Sheets 2 like a week apart.

Because normally it's like Haunted House is one. A year later, a year later. And we're like, whoa, everyone's clamoring for Sheets part two. We did Sheets, just the two of us, beginning of the top of the year. And then we did Sheets 2 two weeks later with Daniel. And we named him Daniel Rashid. That's one of the weirder things we did with this 2 two weeks later with Daniel. With Daniel Rashid. And we named him Daniel Rashid. Yeah. That's one of the weirder things we did with this show.

I love it because it's like, I really think we only did that because we're like, let's have Daniel on. And then probably you made a pun. It was like, oh, Daniel Rashid. Yeah. And we're like, oh, we got it. Two Sheets. We got them. I'm so excited.

I do not remember it at all. Let's kick off the Best of 2022 review, review, review, review, review, review, review, review, review, review, review, review, review, review, review, review, review, review, review, review, with number eight, Sheets 2 with Daniel Rashid. With Daniel Rashid. Would you guys, one of you guys like to go next? Okay, this is for Amazon's Milani Melanie Melanie Queen Sheet Set, Hotel Luxury, 1800 bedding sheets and pillowcases, extra soft cooling bed sheets, deep pocket up to 16 inch, wrinkle fade, stain resistant, four piece queen light gray. Every buzzword possible.

This is from Deja. Daniel, can we get a last name for Deja? Vu. Okay, Deja Vu. Five stars. The title is just a college student procrastinating. These sheets are super soft and very nice. And honestly, you can't beat the price. And I know if I went to the store today, I couldn't find any to beat these anyway. $30 and a good night's sleep. Yeah, I think these I just might keep. Flat sheet, fitted sheet,

pillowcases for you? Just go ahead and treat yourself to some too. And if you're reading this review, I hope you enjoyed my rap. Now, BRB, I'm going to have a quick nap. Yeah, that's right. I'm going to lay on my sheets, take a deep breath, and discover some beats. And if you're looking for me, you might just find me pressing the key. Buy now, new sheets are on their way thank you have a nice day um elizabeth i think you misplaced your eulogy what you just read was seemingly a product review for sheets not everything you liked about dad What you just read was seemingly a product review for Sheetz. Not everything you liked about Dad.

Do you think people noticed? Everyone's staring at you still. But, like, do you think they're staring? This is all in the mic. None of this is whispered. This is all still in the mic. They can hear everything you're saying. But no, but, but like do you think that like noticing in a bad way do you think they're like oh that i don't think was about

raymond or do you think it was confusion up top and now the more you do this and drag it out the more it's turning into a little bit of anger anger anger really i don't know i feel like everyone might have enjoyed it even though it was a little bit like probably not like not relevant, not super fitted. Like the sheet. You're saying this. I think like, look,

like, look at, look at, look at uncle Steve. Like uncle Steve is actually like having the best time. Like I can see him smiling. Look at that big smile on him. He hated dad,

but he loved the eulogy. It looks like he liked the eulogy because you kind of pissed on him. He hated dad. But he loved the eulogy, it looks like. He liked the eulogy because you kind of pissed on dad's grave in a way. What do you mean I didn't piss on dad's grave? He always said, he's like, Elizabeth, you are the writer of the family. Like, you have, like, such, like, such a gift for words

and for song. And so I feel like in that way, I'm honoring him. Because you came up here and you're talking to me. I know, but I'm like, maybe we should step over here. It's all like, I mean, yeah, he's still, he's smiling. Wait, actually, hold on. Actually, Uncle Steve. Thank you so much.

Actually, next on the program, Uncle Steve would like to share a few words about his brother. So Uncle Steve, if you want to come on up. Thank you. Thank you, Elizabeth. You were ear to ear grin. You were always the writer in the family.

It really means a lot. That's exactly, that's exactly what dad said. He was being sarcastic. That's exactly what dad said. I have also written a little ditty. Oh, I have also written a little ditty in honor of my late brother and it goes a little something like this could I get a little boom clap

boom boom clap very good boom clap boom boom clap boom boom clap boom boom clap boom boom clap, boom, clap. Very good. Very good. Boom, clap. Boom, clap.

Boom, clap. Boom, clap. Okay, that's enough now. That's enough. It's in your body. You weren't going to rap over it or anything. No, I just wanted to get you. Let him talk. Sorry.

Andrew, let him talk. Andrew, you were never the writer of this family. I'm devastated. So were we. I never claimed to be. Let him go. Uncle Steve, please. He's go, Uncle Steve, please. He's happy.

Uncle Steve, please share your ditty. And you're seemingly scatterbrained. All right, let's just hear it. Okay. And, and. Shampoo is the best thing ever. I have shampoo. You have it never.

That's right. I like to wash my hair. I do it over here and I do it over there. Everybody, come on, let's do it together. Shampoo is the best thing ever. Did you make that up just now? Just, you know, off the dome. Just kind of taking Elizabeth's cue. This should be a celebration we should be celebrating his life

the ding dong witch is dead whoa no no no no no no no Uncle Steve you gotta sit down funerals are hard alright and I didn't always have the best relationship with dad but I love him still and I miss him and I wish he wasn't dead so maybe we could all just like

go around and just say a couple of things that we remember about him. Hopefully positive and hopefully not related to fucking bathroom products. Would you like to start since you're so, you love dad the most and you're the best at grieving and you know how to do a funeral? I'm not saying I'm the best at grieving. I just think that at least it should be relevant.

I actually am less mad at him saying, ding dong, the witch is dead, than you just reading a product review for Sheetz. I mixed up what I had written. I know what happened. But why are you more mad at me than you are? Uncle Steve literally just made up a rap about shampoo and I, in my grief, mixed up the review I wrote for Amazon for these sheets and the eulogy for dad. So that's on me. Why don't you

read what you were going to read originally? Why don't you pull that out? That's a great idea, Uncle Steve. I wish my brother had thought of that. I like that dad kind of included us sometimes in hobbies. oh my god and then you never knew when he was going to include you but when you did

you felt special let's hear your eulogy oh my god alright again everyone I am everyone's just in their slack job I am so sorry for how this day has been going and this is this

I promise I'm about to read. This is what I really wanted to say. And at first I just, I got a little mixed up. You know, it's a, our dad's dead. It's like, can you blame me? So this is, this is for you, dad. Everybody loves Raymond. That's what they always said. Everybody loves Raymond,

but now Raymond is dead. Everybody misses Raymond. That's what we're feeling today. Everybody misses Raymond. No one's saying yay. I love you, dad. And I feel bad that you are in the ground. I miss you, Dad. You're the best dad, the best dad in town. We'll miss you forever. You'll be a light in our lives. And even though Andrew's pissed, he'll still give me high fives, just like you taught him to.

You reach out for a high five. I absolutely don't meet it. I just break into tears. I meet it. Right. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no. Get out of here.

Everyone's slack job. It was like 100. But nobody changing anything 150 people there Yeah Any one person could say something And they're all just Sitting there and The priest is just watching First of all

Shout out Daniel Ramos Our editor's I was just gonna say Daniel, Daniel, you fuck. I don't listen to the episodes. Neither do I, really. You fucking kill it every time. We're so grateful for you. And I'm so excited for another year.

The reverb. And then the one moment when the crowd's like, ah. That was perfect. Fuck, man. I really, that was a fever dream. I do kind of remember it now. Yeah. Well, we just listened to it, so you should kind of

fully remember it. I think it's because it's like I remember doing it and when we, it cut, but Daniel's like, that was just good morning. That was just good morning, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was so It's like a sequel just good morning. That was just good morning, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was so. It's like a sequel to Good Morning.

Boom clap, boom, boom clap. So you're not gonna rap over it. No, that's enough. Also, I'm saying very good before it even starts. Yeah.

Daniel says very good before the boom claps start. Also, the disconnect of you being like, see, Uncle Steve gets it. And I'm like, no, he's happy. He's happy. He's glad that he's dead.

And then he comes up, ear to ear grin. I also love him getting the lyrics wrong too. Ding dong, the witch is dead too. The ding dong, witch is dead. So confidently. Also your conviction in saying like, I'm genuinely misplaced by eulogy, but you're more mad at that than him who improvised a rap about shampoo.

I was like, okay, you're right. Yeah, yeah. Also, Elizabeth's the writer of the family. And then the most elementary rhyme. Yeah. Like, you are my dad and you are sad. Like, whatever the fuck. Oh my god.

She's too. I'm so happy Rashid made it to the list. Hi, Daniel. He's not going to watch this. Daniel? Yeah. Fair. That was a great one to start off.

This Thai food is so good. Yeah, I hope people are getting hungry. Watching. That was a great one to start off. This Thai food is so good. Yeah, I hope people are getting hungry. Watching. This is a mukbang of sorts. In a way. Yeah. In a way. Well, I don't know about you, but I didn't eat today, really.

You never do. That's not true. It's just that when I don't, I tell people about it and complain. Right. So all people ever hear is, oh, I didn't eat today. Most days I eat fine. And I just don't tell anybody because I'm not hangry.

Bagel and lox, cream cheese and capers for breakfast had I. Sorry? Bagel and lox, cream cheese and capers for breakfast had I. Lunch was a Chinese chicken salad

with nothing on the side. Okay. Lunches, by the way, don't usually really have sides, I would say. Especially a salad. And then I had this for dinner. Having this for dinner. Still eating. That's funny.

No, it's not. It's nice. I mean, we'll keep getting into these, but it's nice that a lot of them are all over the map in terms of, I guess just all over the calendar. this one's from january 25th yeah usually i feel like the ones near like closer to the end of the year i'm able to remember each bit that we did yeah i could not tell you what else we did in that episode i couldn't even tell you that until we played it i have no idea what else that episode had in store. Yeah. Couldn't tell you. But I bet it was fun.

Really? They all are. That was a threat of physical violence if people don't agree with you. That's the same energy as like, and everyone is gonna,

thank you, and everyone is gonna listen next year. We're gonna keep listening to the show because it's gonna be even more fun. We're gonna have more laughs

and a great time. And you don't think that the threat of physical violence... I'm not threatening anything. I never said anything. You did it on the Discord. You said that you were going to find people's home addresses. You said you had people's home addresses.

But I just said I have your addresses. That wasn't saying anything. That's a threat. Nope. Legally, that would be considered a threat. It's not, because all I'm saying is that I have them, which I do. Right, but to bring up the fact that you have them is to insinuate that you could use that information to their detriment.

I guess I just don't see it that way right i'm just saying that the court of california would what care i for the court of california got it all right are we ready for number seven this is how i talk now yeah number seven in the 2022 best of review review is eggnog 2 here's the thing about eggnog 2 if you're listening to this we just did eggnog 3 uh shout out what a way what eggnog 3 to end your improv tenure on review review i mean nog spurt mouth feel i mean it was in the theme song at the beginning of this episode. It goes down in history as one of the fan favorite bits, one of our favorite bits.

Eggnog 2 actually came out in 2021, but it was similar to Eggnog 3, not included in the Google form because it's the week before and we have to give people like two weeks to vote. Is this the wrap off? I don't want to say too much i do remember this number seven best ever review oh my god let's take a listen okay here we go this is for the uh 365 everyday value eggnog traditional here we go it is one star um from levia menra can you give levia menra levia menra the the goose or it's or it's Levi Amenro, the River Thames, drinking it. And that's their name. Levi Amenro, the River Thames, drinking it. Not hyphenated. I figured.

One star. The title is, ooh, nasty. Bro, that's some thick nasty nog i don't know i don't know if it's cloves or nutmeg but it's too much if y'all put in half as much it would be fine maybe you guys were trying to be different but borden has you guys beat klein peter has you killed and fresh market cremated the remains what are those different grocery stores? They're different brands. Oh my god.

Gordon has you guys beat. God, Peter has you killed. And Fresh Market cremated the remains. It's like the lamest rap battle or it's like it's like you know it um you seem have you seen pitch perfect yeah you know when they do like the sing off or like the riff off and And it's like, it's like they get a theme and then they get like a genre. And it's like, they have to keep going back and forth on song. And it's, it's just like, it's just absurd.

But it's like if someone, it's like, ho, ho, ho, everybody. Welcome to, welcome to Santa's Song Bash. All right. You guys know the rules. We've got our two opposing holiday teams. And tonight, we're going to wrap it out to see who slays Supreme. Barely anyone here, but let's do it. We want to thank our sponsors, our local way you have spot for clearing out the floor

and letting us perform all right in the in the in our in our right corner closest to the men's shoe department yeah we've got we've got the ho ho honeys and and And on the other corner, nearest the accessories, we've got the penguin powdery pipers. That's not the team name I gave you. The team name was supposed to be Santa's Naughty Elves. Santa's Naughty Elves? Oh, the way you wrote it looked like penguins, pipers or something.

All right, we got the, Oh, honey, Santa's naughty elf. Sorry about that miscommunication. No, I'm sorry I'm coming in with so much animosity. I just don't like the way you're hosting it. No, no, no. It's good. Because I tried to get this hosting gig and I didn't get it. It's good.

It's good. I love the energy. I love the energy. This whole time I'm dressed like an elf. I love it, man. This is some good stuff. All right, we're going to do a coin toss, but instead of a coin, we're using a little peppermint.

And so one side has three of the red stripes, the other side has four. So it's just holiday themed. All right. So who wants to call it? I'll call it. All right. What's your name, man? Yeah, my name's Lucas. All right lucas lucas you're gonna call it so that lucas you're calling it for santa's naughty elves yeah three three stripes or four uh three oh and he has it all right here we go so all right calm down with those everybody all right this is serious this is some serious holiday stuff santa's sitting and like on a throne just like slowly nodding all right this is serious this is some serious holiday stuff santa's sitting and like on a throne just like slowly nodding all right we got we got we got our first round we got to impress the big man that is jack harlow by the way this is crazy that he's here for this on christmas eve

but yeah you're a prize what is this because i just i was trying to host to get the payday and then it wasn't that so i just had to come by. Well, I'm getting paid $25,000 flat rate. No way. For one night? And for the two, whoever, whatever team wins, they get presents and the other gets coal. It's Christmas. Okay. All right.

So, your first topic is spin the wheel, big man. Santa deadpan spins the wheel. Eggnog. All right, Santa's naughty elves. This is crazy. Go for it, man. Slurping down that nog. Hard on the job.

Turst my knob. Jerk me off. Get me off on Christmas Eve. My name's Adam. Let me be your Eve. I'm gonna be Adam and Eve with the nog. I'm doing milk on the day that I mixed with eggs. I did sweet cream with a ton of sugar and I did brown sugar with a ton of spices.

Cumin, coriander, savory spices. That fucked up the nog. Nobody liked it. I don't know how to see which eggnog is right for me. I'm talking dairyman's. I'm talking Whole Foods 365. I'm talking tons of Fresh Market. I'm talking tons of the type I made at home.

And I was sad because I didn't make the right nog. I'm losing the thread. I want to win the cash. I want to win the cash. I want to get the gifts. I don't want to be bad and get the coal. No applause. Please, no applause. We're treating this like an SNL callback.

No applause, no laughter. All right. That was me being serious. What are you talking about? All right. All right. That was kind of good, I thought. talking about? All right. All right. That was kind of good, I thought.

You know what? We're going to have no... Again, we're treating this famously. As we always do, everyone all together, treating it like an SNL callback. All right. All right, big man. What do you think? Santa nods.

Okay. He's not going to say anything? That was kind of good. Again, we're treating it... Like what? Like an SNL callback. But I thought that you were saying that you didn't think I was taking it seriously because I was like doing it for comedy and playing it up. No, no, no, no.

I meant we treat all of these. Oh, you mean no applause or any reaction. We mean no applause, no reaction. We treat all of these rap battles like an SNL callback. The entire point of a rap battle, that's insane. That's so stupid. It's supposed to be the, whoa, it's supposed to be high energy. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

You slap me? Oh. Is that high energy. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. You slapped me? Oh! Is that high energy enough for you, man? I'm sorry. Let's take it over to the ho-ho honeys. Thank you so much. We can't wait. This is the opportunity of a lifetime. Alright. Alright, don't worry about it. I love

your guys' energy. I love the energy of Brandon and Macy's. I love the energy that you have today. This is unbelievable. Is this like a branded event because jack harlow is here santa spin the wheel oh and the ho ho honeys have got presents yeah presents we got it we've got this these aren't christmas themed all. I'm sorry to keep interjecting. Presents every time of year, not just on Christmas.

I want them every single day of my life. On my birthday. On the 4th of July. Maybe give me one on Valentine's Day, but no. Today we're talking the big one. That is Jesus' birthday. It's Christmas. Keep the Christ in Christmas. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hey, cut the music. Cut the music. Cut the music. Oh, honeys. This is a non-denominate. I mean, I know it's Christmas. This is crazy. But this is kind of like generic Christmas.

This can't be good for Macy's. This can't be good. And that's actually, yes, this is a sponsored event. We're going to have to shut this down. What? Unfortunately. Who won? Santa, it's up to you.

Jack, come on. Nods to your team. Nods to the Santa's not a. You can react because it's over now. Everyone's quiet. I'm still looking at you. Man, I don't know how many times I told you we're treating this like an SNL callback. What's the gift?

What's the fucking gift that we get? This is a waste of so much things. Energy, time, effort, branding, brand awareness, space. It's a giant Macy's gift card. So it looks huge, but how much is it for? Why don't you try and buy something? Ring it looks huge but how much is it for why don't you ring why don't you try buy something ring it up big man all right um this sweater it's 42 rings it up declined 25 yeah that's what i thought i was worried about that um and you're getting 25 000 that's fine

merry christmas merry christmas everybody we'll see you again next year Everybody walks out in good spirits for some reason Everyone's thrilled The fuck Genuinely what was this No actually like no judgment What was this event It was The host got 25 grand

It takes place at a Macy's they closed the seven people came no one's here judging a rap battle and then the prize is 25 but in the form of a massive gift card which by the way probably costs more than the gift card yes i Yes. I love, like, what a horrible way to find out what the prize is. Ring it up. See what you can buy. Just tell me. Because I'm not. Oh, that sweater's $42.

My face is going to be red. Keep the Christ in Christmas. I forgot about that line. Oh. Keep the Christ in Christmas. And then they shut it down and be like. As soon as it got religious they're like no no no this whole thing was a mistake we're done uh yours was actually good

that was my memory of this was like that was actually like kind of a good freestyle i've never done that before or since oh Oh my God, I'm weeping. Yours was really good. Like, and I'm not saying this because I did it. Objectively, I was like switching up the rhythm. I'm like, I've never done that. So that was nice to listen back to. I think mine was great

because it didn't have a single rhyme to it. And then I made it about Jesus Christ. It was a psalm more than a rap. It's a psalm. A hymn. Oh, my God. All right. Should we keep this going?

Yeah. Fuck it, right? What else are we doing? Can you pour me some more champers, please? You really do call champagne champers. I don't. I've heard you call it champers a lot, though. No.

That's perfect. That's so much. Thank you. Well, it's mostly bubbles, and then it settles into fine. I'm forever blowing bubbles. Fun fact about that song. When I was in high school, I wanted to start a barbershop quartet. And so I arranged that song.

You've always been the way that you are. Yeah. You have always been yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Here we go. Number six. On the best of Review Review 2022.

The Christ of Christmas. Stress balls. Stress balls. No, I know what they are. No. Number six is stress balls. Stress balls. No, I know what they are. No. Number six is stress balls. Do you not remember this episode? Nope.

All right, then I don't want to say anything else. Let's just listen to it. Also, that sound effect really sounds like the beginning of a Mario Kart race. That is what it is. Beep. No. Beep. Here we go.

Number six. The best of... Of the best of review 2022. When was this? When was this? When was this? Glad you asked. March 22nd.

Damn. Okay. You'll see. Here we go. Number six. Stress balls. This is a review. Nice. Of Serenolite Hand Therapy Stress Ball Bundle.

This is going to be from Henry G. I want to give him the last name. Henry Ghirardelli Square. Henry Ghirardelli Square, five stars. The title is, haven Been Stressed in Months. I cut one open to satisfy my curiosity, and I think I like the feeling more without the sleeve. I recommend it. I'm a changed man now.

Spirituality renewing, therapeutic, and one hell of a party pleaser. What? He opened Pandora's box. I like it better without the sleeve. Hey guys, I got takeout Yeah, fried rice Hand you the bag

Oh wow, thanks man You open it up, instead of it being in the cartons It's just loose fried rice Oh, um, I, shit It spilled, the postman must have Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no We haven't been dating long enough but actually what i do is uh i tell them you know to cut down on not only waste but also because i like it better

uh loose rice in a bag that's disgusting um no me too yeah i know i hear you about less waste i disagree with the methods i think i just going to order something else because I actually... I don't feel safe eating loose rice. What? We just started. You got to be kidding me. We said... Not only waste, but also because I like it better, loose rice in a bag.

That's disgusting. No, me too. Yeah, I... No. I hear you about less waste. I disagree with the methods. I think I'm just going to order something else, because I actually...

That's disgusting. No, me too. Yeah, I... No. that's disgusting um no me too yeah I no I hear you about less waste I disagree with the methods

I think I'm just gonna order something else because I actually I don't feel safe eating loose rice what we just started you gotta be kidding me

we said we said we were gonna order chinese food i'm confused stop this doesn't stop it okay all right sorry we've this is our second date and we said yeah let's i know i know i'm so sorry fucking talk. Actually, I don't know how he escalated this quickly. You need to shut the fuck up and let me speak, Ian. Wow. That language. To somebody who just ordered something that you wanted. No, I didn't want loose grains in a bag.

I wanted like a nice, like I just wanted a carton of fried rice. So I don't know you very well. We went out to a bar a couple nights ago. We had a good time. It's like, oh, let's order in, like do a little cozy thing. Probably we should have stayed there till like the fifth date. We definitely don't know each other well enough for me to come over to your house and order food on the couch. I don't like this. This makes me feel unsafe. It's like on Halloween when your parents are like, don't take unwrapped candy. You gave me the equivalent of unwrapped candy, but it's just loose rice in a bag. I don't want to eat this. If you order something else, this relationship is over.

We're not in a relationship. And even if we were, that's great that it's done. Because this is really scary to me so i'm gonna order some pho and i'm gonna have it delivered to my apartment because i'm not gonna stay here tonight i'm going home then you're not the right girl for me i agree get out of my goddamn house don't use that language with you told me to shut the fuck up you told me to shut the fuck up because i had rice that you wanted in a bag that's crazy no you're crazy you told look at my apartment it's kind of nice if this is the only issue that i fucking order fried rice to reduce waste in my carbon footprint by the way then then there's the door. I'm sorry to say. That's

not the issue. The issue is not you reducing your carbon footprint. I think that's a really noble quest. Do everything you can to reduce emissions. Do everything you can to reduce waste. This is not the way to do it. Get a compost bin. What is that? Oh my god.

Oh my god. You don't need to not have rice in a cardboard container for you to save the planet. Well, then I just like it also in the bag. Right. That's weird. Okay. And I don't want to eat that. I feel like you're not understanding.

You must be an angel then. You must be a little misperfect if this is what bothers you. What's one of your flaws? I bet you have a ton of them. What the hell is wrong with you, man? I'm upset because you challenged me on one of my favorite things.

Okay. And I don't want to eat that. I feel like you're not understanding You must be an angel then You must be a little Miss Perfect if this is what bothers you What's one of your flaws? I bet you have a ton of them What the hell is wrong with you, man? I'm upset because you challenged me on one of my favorite things to do

Your favorite thing to do is to order rice in a bag one of i said right it's okay to have a ton of fun i agree that's not what we're fighting about we're not fighting about whether it's okay to have fun or not we're fighting about i think this is a really creepy thing that you do and that you're like almost forcing me to eat, which I really I've told you I don't want to do that. I don't want to eat unwrapped food. I didn't do anything. You did. I ordered it and someone else put the rice in the bag.

You took my order and I saw you putting like the special instructions, but I just thought it was just like, oh, don't include cutlery. We already have it. But instead, I'm now looking back. You wrote do away with the carton in the bag is fine. Correct. like oh don't include cutlery we already have it but instead i'm now looking back you wrote do away with the carton in the bag is fine correct right that's yes right right right so you're into it now no that's you just said do in the bag was fine no you said in the bag was fine i was repeating what you wrote well then so you you're telling me that you order your fried rice in a carton like everybody like you just don't put anything?

I don't order it in a carton. I order it, and then it comes in a vessel. You specifically order it outside of any kind of vessel. It's in a bag. That's a vessel. A bag is a vessel. Oh, oh. So, oh, how are you reducing your carbon footprint if you're using paper to get the rice delivered to you?

Because, you know, you need one thing to get it. Oh, oh. Oh, so you're using paper to get the rice delivered to you because it's you know it's you need one thing to get oh oh oh so you're not the big man you're not Mr. Green Thumb over here fuck do you want to have sex yeah I was literally about to do that in some way

oh my fucking god that in some way. Oh my fucking god. I mean, what's this? There's nothing. That, I have to say, this is our third year doing Best Dubs and I vaguely remember the other 16. That might be my favorite bit we've ever done on the show.

Really? I think that's the tightest laugh. We were laughing out loud so much, I was rewinding it. I was like, I just need to hear that again. That's, I think, our best bit. I didn't do anything. I didn't do anything. Oh, I guess you're an angel. I guess you're a little

misper... Also, like, I would have fucking been like, what are your flaws? Because I bet you have a lot of them. What are some of your flaws? I bet you have a lot of them. What are some of your flaws? I bet you have a ton of them. That's so unabashedly rude. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I don't want to eat that.

You're not hearing me. If you order something else, this relationship is over. It's not a relationship? Great. Yeah. Oh, my God. Every part of that, they were not a relationship? Great. Yeah. Oh my God. Just like every part of that, they were not on the same page.

No, until the fucking. I think that's the best improv we've ever done. It was pretty fun. That was pretty tight. That's my favorite scene. That's my favorite scene we've ever done. Wow. Wow.

It's up there. I forgot about that. For some reason, I think because the lore of loose rice in a bag has continued on. Yeah. As well as should. Through song mostly.

Through song mostly. I forgot that it was so long ago. Yeah. March 22nd? It feels a lot more recent, I think, because that's one, like, nog spurt that has stayed. Yeah. Of, like, loose rice in a bag. Loose rice in a bag.

That. Also, just the choice that you made when you were like, I think I'm just going to order something else. That's also an overreaction, by the way. Like, and then I overreact to that. But the first overreaction is you being like, I think I'm going to order something else. It was like, I remember just like as an improviser,

that was one moment where I'm like it's like you know you play play your smarts play as smart as you are it's like I can't justify eating that

if I'm on a date that's not I'm not going along with it oh yeah just like everything we each said added new information

I just think that was really good it was just a really fucking good scene also like the we haven't been dating that long like second date yeah also but you being self-aware enough to be like we haven't been dating long enough for me to tell you this but yeah so you do know it's kind

of weird then why do it now if you know if you know then don't loose rice in a bag so fast because of the dumbest thing I didn't do anything you're trying to give him so much credit and that's great that you're trying to reduce your carbon footprint I just don't trust that this is the right way to do it and then he's like

well if you don't eat this loose rice in a bag then I don't trust you you're trying to Well, if you don't eat this loose rice in a bag, then I don't trust you. You're trying to force me to eat this thing. I feel unsafe. I'm done. I feel unsafe in the room with you if you don't eat the rice. Because how am I supposed to trust that you have my best interest in mind? It's so horrible.

The petty fucking logic of like, oh, it's a vessel. Oh, big man. Oh, you eat it in a bag. You're like, well, it has to come in something. I can't just have them drop rice at my door. Yeah. Two immature idiots. Okay.

Are we down to the last one of the up? We're down to the last one of part one. Here we go. Number five is... Bath bombs with Miles Bonsignore. Miles is the coolest person that you and I both know. Number five is bath bombs. This is for the lush sex bomb bath bomb

five stars from Casey last name letter K letter C K S Y K S Y actually let's say that those are their initials miles what's their first middle and last name K S Y yeah Kaylee Sanders yeoman

yeoman like omen but like a like or someone who works on like contractor K-S-Y? Yeah. Kaylee Sanders Yeoman. Yeoman? Like Omen, but like someone who works on contractor jobs. Or Y-E-O-M-A. Yeoman. I was almost like it's spelled like Yangling, but Yeoman. I'm just going to read through it. It's spelled like Yingling,

he said. So with a Y? Yeah. I'm sorry. It's spelled Y-I- he said. So with a Y? Yeah. I'm sorry. It's spelled Y-I-N-G-L-A-N-G, but pronounced Yeoman. Got it. That's right. My partner and I decided to try this when we were here for Thanksgiving break. Doesn't say at all where they were.

Yeah, wait. This is from the Lush official website. So it's not like... So not even like a flagship or any specific store. It's not tied to a physical store, yeah. This is an online store. My partner and I decided to try this when we were here for Thanksgiving break. We sat in the tub for maybe five minutes before we were at it.

We were insatiable. Insane stamina. Insane O's. Can't recommend enough. Jesus. You don't have a partner. There's no way you have a partner. Someone coming in the bath alone.

Oh, that's crazy. Yeah, I had a crazy weekend too. It was so crazy. Oh my God, tell us about it. Yeah, tell us. Come on. Yeah, I mean, I'll spare you the details, but my partner and I sort of went at it.

Insatiable stamina. You have a partner? Oh, yeah. We didn't know you were dating anybody. We didn't know you were dating anybody. That's incredible. We're so thrilled for you. I know it's hard hanging out with us for a long time.

And it's just like we are so deeply in love and so committed. Yeah. We got married, what, two years ago to the day? Yeah, to the day. I think it's like our anniversary came and went. But we have the type of relationship where we don't need to focus on that no it's just like we're so like we're just kissing all the time we're just kissing all the time but it's not serious like that like it's not our marriage is not serious no it's so silly yeah it's so silly peter so

mine wasn't anything like that this weekend. It was really intense and intentional. Tell us about your partner. Who's your intense, intentional partner? Her name is Casey. Casey. Casey. Someone's got a crush. Why are you looking mad?

Why are you a little sourpuss? You got fucked all weekend. Why are you sad? I'm focusing on the conversation. You got fucked all weekend. I didn sad i'm focusing on the conversation you got fucked all weekend i didn't say that's what happened i mean when you get fucked all weekend you should have a nice little attitude about it no i we we did all sorts of stuff it was insatiable did you get fucked ohs did you get one of the times was yeah yeah yeah she's amazing so then why are you so serious why are you so serious i'm focused you so serious? I'm focused on the conversation, making sure I don't miss anything.

You seem angry. You're being hostile towards both of us. And I feel resented that we're, it's our anniversary. It's our anniversary and we're silly. And we're silly and we like to feel it. Why am I here, by the way? Because we felt bad for you.

We felt bad. Because you're a single little shit and you never have any love in your life. I had it this weekend. Tell us about it. I've said all I care to. Fine. What questions do you have? I'll answer any question really fast. How did you meet Casey?

How many comes? How many comes more than ever you've had? Three? You think that that's more than they've ever had? Not total, but in a weekend. That's child's play, John. Are don't know it was like bodies on bodies on and i didn't we were legs were going everywhere and i know bodies on bodies on bodies that's a murder movie flag day last year it was 40 what i'm 40 flag i was lying about the sex, by the way.

I just hate hanging out with you guys because you guys are so outwardly open about this stuff. Now we need to focus on this. 40? Yeah. We made a plan and we stuck to it. This is what you don't understand. If you're organized. You said that it wasn't organized or intentional, that it was fun.

Now you're saying that you made a plan to come 40 times. I'm sorry, can scheduling not be fun? Scheduling can be fun. We send calendar invites from a dummy email with a fun tag. Why not just use your normal email? Also, there was that news article that there was that teenager

who masturbated 18 times in a day and he died. Well, we're not masturbating. That's still the same. It's orgasming. I get sore after four. It doesn't matter. It doesn orgasming. I get sore after four. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

You can't compare yourself. The orgasm you have post-masturbation is not the same. You just compared yourself. You said that three was child's play, and then you bragged about having come 40 times. Well, you pushed me into a corner, John. You push people into a corner. John, you do this. You do push people into corners all the time.

I feel like I'm like a little bird in a cage and you're a tiger and I have to leap leap out anniversary brunch so I feel like nothing can go be going that well with you guys obviously we have enough love to share I'm sorry if your heart is so closed and so tiny so that you don't have enough to like give we have an overflow and we're trying to overflow a little bit that love onto you yeah all right all right would you rather we didn't invite you to shit i don't really want to be here now because you guys are yelling at me well you showed up telling us that you had gotten fucked i didn't say i you said that i got fucked well we may have pressured you into it but you said it. And we wanted to hear details about that because we love you.

You never answered how you met this person. I said I was lying about it because you guys fucking always invite me. You make me third wheel. And it's uncomfortable because then you guys ask me about my life and then you try to set me up with all your friends. I don't like your friends. I'm a very high bar. This is news to me.

This is huge news to me. You didn't like Lizzie? You didn't like cut to. I'm a very high bar. This is news to me. This is huge news to me. This is news. You didn't like Lizzie? You didn't like... Cut to his date with Lizzie? So do you have any hobbies or... My hobbies, honestly, I'm pretty similar to Peter and Ruby, and I just love getting fucked.

And so anything that I can do that can make my weekend go to there is like that's what i want out of a day okay i'm down what about you i mean i like having sex but that's not like the defining that's different that's not the same as that's not the same it's not the same that into yeah this is just two for this in credit coaster are are you guys single riders? Single. Okay, cool. It's going to be about a half an hour. Fuck this. Cut back. So I don't know where you guys have your friends from. If it's a sex club or I mean, I love sex, but

I don't want that to be the only thing we talk about. I mean, you're bringing it up. You are the one bringing it up. You're bringing it up constantly. You're bringing up our hobby. Because if I said that I've met someone, you wouldn't set me up. Is that not why you brought me here? To set me up with another person?

We brought you here because we thought that we could maybe convince you. Right. To join us. There's no way. In a sensual cucking sort of way and then I really immediately

need to clarify who's the cuck you that doesn't make any sense and I'm not in I'm obviously not in because that's me sitting in the room you have to fuck room that's the point I like fucking

you guys are making this weird narrative that I like getting fucked and getting cucked I like neither that much we get that emotions are hot and everyone's feeling horned up right now I'm not horny at all I'm also I'm sorry you guys are both very beautiful but I've known you for so long

that the sex appeal has worn off. Does that make sense? I think it's just like desire is actually a choice. No, it's not. It's not something that's just like, oh, it's fleeting. You make the choice every day. Desire is by definition fleeting. You make the choice every day to want to fuck

and get fucked. And animals cock in the wild all the time i don't care to know that you've always said that peter you've always said that there's a study to their first date hey i just feel this electric energy i feel the same i was about to say the same thing yeah no for sure um i read this book by jane good. Oh my god, I loved her, right? But it's just like this shit happens all the time in the bamboo and there's pandas and they're like watching and it's like a whole thing. Everyone's joining in, but enough about

this. You never have enough about that. Never enough about that. I'll just say that right now. I'll just say that right now. I mean, you know me. I could go on forever. It's not talking if on i'm not dating her that's just voyeurism or exhibitionism obviously oh we've got a little linguist on our hands someone read the dictionary that none of these are in the dictionary got an urban dictionary linguist on our hands yeah oh so you're obsessed with urban

dictionary maybe if you stop reading Urban Dictionary so much, you'd be able to find someone that you wanted to share intimate parts of your life with. Okay. I am going to leave. Have whatever sex you want. Maybe go on a different dating app. This was a weird ask.

And this was a bad brunch. Maybe it was a bad brunch um maybe it was a bad brunch okay don't give him that anything else or is that it let me finish you're always interrupting me always maybe it was a bad brunch but i'd like to watch you watch me munch on my wife's hooch. We didn't even order. It's important to me that we flag that. We've been sitting here at the menu. I've asked you to close it three times.

That is my third time. I'm still looking. I'm still looking. He takes his time Just decide and then we can talk about all the depraved nonsense That I'm not going to be a part of So you do want to say and talk about depraved nonsense I just don't see a world where this

Brunch goes any different Than it has been going Okay the waiter comes over you know what you want to order right now Yes I'm getting the eggs benedict Are you sure Alright thank you guys so much for joining us today What can I get started for you you know what you want to order right now? Yes, I'm getting the Eggs Benedict. Are you sure? All right. Thank you guys so much for joining us today.

What can I get started for you? I'll do the Eggs Benedict. Wow. Do you have sauce? Do we have sauce? We have many kinds of sauce. Do you mean like condiments like on the side or do you mean it's part of the meal i'm looking for something maybe like ketchupy with them with them like a mayo base yeah and we have special sauce you special sauce we have special sauce

we can we can do a mayo ketchup oh my god all right now that i know you have special sauce this changes everything i'm gonna need just like 20 more minutes. Absolutely. We can make that happen. I'll take a peek at the menu. I'll put a hold on that Eggs Benedict until you figure out what you want. Hold the Benny because we're going to want to eat together. That was my order. That was my order, so don't say hold the Benny.

We want everything to come out at the same time. So if you could wait to put that in until we're all done, that'd be good. Yeah, no, I can do that. Absolutely. Now you have to stay. You have to stay. Happy anniversary, baby. This is, I'm gone.

I'm ghost. You guys are bad to hang out with. Namaste. It's just the two of them. So. No. Got it. so no got it John was the only thing keeping them afloat

yeah they really needed a third thing fucked fucked I don't know if you guys needed a third thing. Fucked? Fucked? I don't know if you guys caught that. There's just one moment where Miles and I are talking

and then Riley out of nowhere is just like, fucked? It doesn't add to the conversation at all. Also, I really wanted this to be in the best ofs because that was like the hardest. One of the hardest times I've laughed all year on the show was you and miles just being like so no no got it so bleak i'd coveted so did miles we both had coveted that episode yeah you can hear it you

can hear it but it did not show in the energy but the voice was congested as fuck Miles and I never forget Miles and I both tested positive for COVID the same morning God that was a fun episode I love this is like outside of the show too I don't know why but like just doing the bit of like

I like to get fucked or did you get fucked? did I have sex? no did you get fucked. Or like, oh, did you get fucked? Can I have sex? No, did you get fucked? That's so funny. It's so aggressive. It's so horrendous. Oh, I guess my favorite thing to do is get fucked.

You don't have any other hobbies? Other than getting fucked? What's the point? Listen, I love making people get fucked, but I'd love to also be able to go to a museum. Listen, I love making people get fucked but like i'd love to like also be able to go to the museum listen i love making people get fucked oh miles you're a real one glad he made it just the end of that is so funny to me so i mean when this when i saw this was on and i was like i know the exact one it's got to be the one like so um no got it what was he gonna say also that they invited him for a cucking kind of scenario but he is the one getting cut so it's not cucking

that's exhibitionism i just want you to watch me fuck my husband and i don't want to do that and that's fine for me it's okay for you to want it it's fine for me to not want to do that. It's okay for you to want it and it's okay for me to not want it. Right. But me not wanting that doesn't mean I don't enjoy sex, which is what you guys are trying to corner me into saying. Well, if you don't want to get cucked, then you don't like getting fucked. That's not true. Well, listen, I love making people get fucked. Look, no, don't get me wrong.

I love when I make someone get fucked. But, like, that can't be it. Such a gentle voice. No, like, I mean, this weekend get me wrong. I love when I make someone get fucked. But like that can't be it. Such a gentle voice. No, like I mean this weekend was so nice. Like we went on a walk, got a nice dinner. I got fucked. What was that? It was great.

Yeah, like we like. It was so great. Oh yeah, what happened? Well, I took her out for like it was her birthday, right? So I took her out like for her favorite dinner spot. Oh, awesome. Obviously I footed the bill, which like she was like what a gentleman you know and then we went home yeah and i she opened her gifts oh my god lovely she really liked them one of them was a big swing but she she liked

it oh good man and then i sort of made her get fucked and you what i sort of made her get fucked you made her get fucked. You made her get fucked? Consensually. So bashful. I made her get fucked. I might have put her in a position where she got fucked. By me. By me.

By me. So. I fucked her. Robert De Niro I made a good fuck That's horrible Riley that was the bottom half of the top 8 If that was the bottom half We've got a lot ahead of ourselves

Y'all have got a lot to look forward to Next Tuesday Next Tuesday in it In it Guys listen I'm gonna miss Jeff's accents just as much as the next next Tuesday. Next Tuesday, isn't it? Isn't it? Guys, listen. I'm going to miss Jeff's accents just as much as the next person. Alfred is going to give you

a tour of the British Isle. His accents are fucking crazy. What was it? What's it? It's like the north or no, the bath split. What? What's that?

It's like the bath time split or something. The bath time split? It's like the north bath split. Maybe I'm dumb. Maybe it's just not as you, I thought you would know. The north bath, like a bath in England? Trap bath split. I've never heard of that. I don't really know what it is it's phonetic in some way it's like the north of england wait no it's not

what it was with the what bath split the trap bath split so good cocktail name honestly yeah trap don't hurt yourself no it'll be like limoncello and bourbon holy shit we have next week

tonight next week next week tonight last week tonight next week tonight it's John Oliver predicting what's gonna happen so

there's gonna be another 9-11 I really think that and I think it's gonna be next friday um next week is the last episode not of the show we're very much continuing and it's gonna go on forever next week is the last jeffisode jeffisode's really good. It's the last Jeffisode. Yeah. Of these four, which was your favorite? And I guess that's my only prompt. I'm really torn between Loose Rice in a Bag and The Christmas Wrap. Yeah. The Christmas Wraps were, I forgot how much I loved them.

And it's funnier how genuinely like good yours was um it's a toss-up I can't pick between them I think loose rice in a bag was like better just improv like technically wise but I fucking love the raps I think as an improv bit, the loose rice in a bag is my favorite. Just like thinking about it as like an art of improv, that is the better bit. But it was just to hear

you and I freestyle, I think, as a gift. Yeah, and a curse. And a curse. What about you? Loose rice in a bag? Mine is loose rice in a bag. It might be my favorite

video I've ever done on this show. Loose rice in a bag. Loose rice in a bag. But yeah, comment on the show. loose rice in a bag. Loose rice in a bag. But yeah, comment on the subreddit or in the Discord about which of your,

of these four were your guys' favorites. If you had to predict what next weeks are going to be, do it. Discuss. Discuss.

Or don't. You can follow Riley and Spa on Instagram at Riley and Spa on Twitter at Riley Coyote. I don't think you've ever said you can follow my full name.

Yeah, that didn't feel right. You can follow Riley on Instagram at Riley and Spa on Twitter at RileyCoyote. I don't think you ever said you could follow my full name. Yeah, that didn't feel right. You can follow Riley on Instagram at RileyAnspa, on Twitter at RileyCoyote, and you can follow the show, r slash ReviewReview, and ReviewReviewShow on Twitter, and ReviewReviewShow on Instagram. Nope, just ReviewReview.

Just ReviewReview. I guess we should have made it cross-platform, but that's for you and Alfred to figure out. I would like to say that in the new year, Alf and I are going to revamp the socials. So, shuls. Right as Twitter dies. That one you could probably delete.

You can follow Jeffrey James on Instagram at Jeffrey James. And on Twitter at Jeff Boyardee. That's funny. It's silly. And if you want to get on the Alfred train you can follow Alf he only has an Instagram at at Alfred in it Bardwell

Bardwell Evans Alfred Bardwell Evans it is Alfred in it I forgot if it was Al for Alfred in it Alfred I-N-I I-N-I Alfred I-N-I. Fuck me. I-N-I?

Nope. Alfred I-N-N-I-T. Alfred in it. Can I out? This is wild. Let's do our last segment. Let's do our last segment. That's fucking crazy.

Can't believe we did that. Sorry, everybody. This took me all week long. What's been shaking you? So, I was in a Lyft the way here And they were playing a song They were playing a dance with myself Which, I don't know about you guys But I know from the hit 2006 vehicle

Flushed away It's at the beginning When the Hugh Jackman mouse rat Is waking up And he's ready for the day ahead And he's dancing with himself And he's putting on a little outfit. Anyway, that song got me thinking.

Damn, the Hugh Jackman rat is fine. He's so hot. Celebrity crush of the week. Flushed away rat. No, let me pull him up. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, I will not take any slander because this rat mouse, whatever the fuck, is so fine. Hold on.

Hot rat flushed away. It's not even an animated human. No, but like, Jeff, You'll see him and like... You're so hot! Again, that's just the animated rat version of any average looking white guy. That's John Krasinski! No! I hope you can capture it if not look up hot rat flushed away

um so that's he has three teeth no anyway that's what's been shaking me that makes this episode feel normal to me I wanted to keep a sense of normalcy going into the new year what's been shaking you aside from that uh what's been shaking you well aside from that uh what's

been shaking me is uh are you fucking kidding me i guess i have a new goal oh real estate wise okay so i don't want to live in la anymore i really want to move to new york but it just doesn't seem possible right now for me for so many reasons. But part of the reason I wanted to move to New York is because the places that you can get away from the city, too, are very lush, very green, very naturally beautiful. The places you can get to from LA are not that beautiful. We've been lied to that Palm Springs is pretty. It's not. Joshua Tree is nice, but it's hard to get a camping spot.

Santa Barbara is just like the Spanish Rivieraoshua tree is nice but it's hard to get a camping spot santa barbara is just like the spanish riviera but a knockoff of it uh san diego is a theme park city it sucks uh malibu is pretty topanga is pretty but that's not that far from the city the the place to escape to is big sir so the new real estate goal is Big Sur. That was a really roundabout way. Is to buy a cabin in Big Sur. But the entry level price up there

is like two million dollars. So I have to be famous as shit. And if I'm famous as shit I can move to New York. So it probably won't ever happen but that'd be cool.

Well what I took out of that is that you're not moving. So I'm fine with that. I'm not moving to New York. Great. Should we thank some patrons? Let's do it. I'm not moving to New York. Great. Should we thank some patrons? Let's do it.

I'm so excited to hear these names. Yeah, this is people heeding your call to action to make them as crazy as possible. Put that shit in the middle so we can both see. Thank you to Hashtag Game Pass, the best deal in gaming now available on the Xbox Series X or Series S. Underscore Christian side hug so he can hug two people simultaneously. Agent Michael Skarn. Nope. Agent Mr. Skarn.

Agent Mr. Skarn. Aggie. Ako will not back down without a fight. Jeff will apologize to her on air, or this entire fucking show has been for naught. Tula. Bob Buell, aka the squirtster kid, and I'm sorry, if I can go off script, my birthday is December 28th, so buy me stuff.

Cam is Sposey. That's spooky and cozy because it's October, baby. Carol Fisher. Chuck. Curbature presents Jeffrey James' farewell tour. Daddy Tuesday Night is swangin' that thang in honor of the passing of the torch. Bye or whatever. Damien Kirk would like to reiterate, perhaps for the final time, that he has never had sex in his 30s.

Don't you forget it, Jeff. Disgusting. This one's just the C word. I'm not going to read that. No, yeah, I will. Catty. Elvis Wesley. So it's Elvis, but with a British accent and a fucking butler, I guess.

Fancy Octopus is submitting and dominating. A jack of all aids. Follow my cat on Instagram. You have to find the at yourself, though. No handouts, fucks. Gray is bringing back the gimmick. His new name is Gray Overwhelming Force, a.k.a. The Destroyer, a.k.a. Big Balls McGee. Gray Overwhelming Force.

Gray Overwhelming Force. Oh, that's my buddy. Gray. Oh, nice. Gray Overwhelming Force. Sorry? Sorry, Big Balls McGee. What?

No, I asked you to clarify the first thing you said, and then you gave him a nickname that I also don't understand. Happy Halloween. It's October. I eat spaghetti and heat balls. It's like spaghetti and meatballs, but instead of noodles, I eat the sun. I'm Riley Anspaugh, and have you ever heard of the new show, The Office? You know, John Krasinski is kind of a zaddy.

I'm going to say it. If spaghetti and heat balls substitutes noodles for the sun, then you're just eating the sun and whatever heatballs is. It sucks that this might be the last Connor Finnegan Patreon name, I hear. He should have at least put more some more effort into it. Jackson, Mississippi is definitely my real name. Maybe not, though. Boy, did I pick a swell time to finally upgrade.

Jake Ullman. James Wagner murdered someone in 2013 and is finally admitting it to the FBI. Come get his ass. Jeffrey Games. Jeff's evil but playful twin. Jesse Tipton. Joe, and for lack of a better term, well, Malasoff. JP again.

Okay, Jeff leaving to explore new opportunities outside the fam. Who do you think you are? Steve from Blue's Clues or my dad? Caleb forgot to change his name. Whoops. Casper Vopasper. Kelly Ann Conway and Randy knew Manfred Manhand the way

in a mangerty and Bert. Oh. Kevin Williams. Let's play a game of keep or have I ever. I'll go first. Lord Hunter the Ordained. Michael Beggle. Mo Ho Ho Pete. Which is a happy

holiday season to everyone in the Riley and Jeff cinematic universe. My Bond of the Week is my mother because name a better bond than the bond you have with your mom. Go ahead, I'll wait. My name is Austin Hall and Jeffrey Aaron James has forcibly sounded Oh, God. Has forcibly sounding me

with a glow stick for the past 12 months. Oh, Jesus. Nate Porteous says hi to Christina who's now listened to every episode. New patron. No, not a new patron. No, it's real this time. Nolan Murphy is excited to see the future to the past 12 months. Oh, Jesus. Nate Porteous says hi to Christina who's now listened to every episode. New patron. No, not a new patron. No, it's real this time. Nolan Murphy is excited to see the future of the show

now that there will be more than one funny host. Pete Bradford cracked his tooth on a Christmas cookie sprinkle while writing this. You've been warned. Of what?

Puff Riley. Raven Schmaven. Riz Jeffrey will never mispronounce my name again, Bergman. Smoke and Time on Main Island closed for the winter and Jameson Poncea has to come up with funny original names now. Thank Schmaven. Riz Jeffrey will never mispronounce my name again, Bergman. Smoking time on Main Island closed for the winter and Jameson Ponce has to come up with funny original

names now. Thank you, Jeff. Good luck on your next step. Aw, that's nice. Is that a new patron? Yep. New patron. Shout out. That's very nice. TJ Michael. Ty Samby's Wet n' Wild Senior Strip Uno Night. No condoms. No cares. No commitments. Every Thursday at 700 Park Crescent West. You're telling me that in

like three episodes, I'll be advertising my food truck to an even smaller group of people? Great. Cool. So James and Ponsia pays us $40 a month now. Thank you. Actually, historic. For three months he's done that. That's crazy. Shout out Patreon.com forward slash Riley and Jeff.

The Patreon is still going. Not going anywhere. Going. Strong. Zardies every month. Q&As every month. And we might even come up with a new perk or something. Yeah, hell yeah. So keep an eye out. We'll see you next week. For the final four. Best of.

Reveal 2022. Arrivederci! Yay! That was a Hiddem Original.