Review Revue - Best of 2022 (Part 2)

Episode Date: December 27, 2022

Geoff's tenure on Review Revue comes to an end with the second half of the Best of Review Revue 2022! Join Reilly & Geoff as they bid farewell to Geoff's Crazy ass and countdown numbers 4 through 1 of the best improv bits of the year, as voted by YOU - the listeners!  Be sure to check out the video version on the Headgum YouTube channel, and be sure to tune in for new co-host Alfred Bardwell-Evans' debut episode next Tuesday! Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjames Twitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardee <><> Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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How it pains me to see both of you Looking so down at each other Oh my god! If every show was like review, review Oh, how it would touch my heart Cause there's no show in town as perfect as yours You're everyone's favorite part Everyone's ought to be inspired by you But it's clear

one of you's a fraud No one's mad like Jeffrey No one's bad like Jeffrey No one's lover's incredibly sad as Jeffrey, there's no comedy

cat half as dopey. Double cheek up like this host. You can ask him if you're Jake or Marty. And they'll tell you which employee they hate most. No one's been like Jeffrey. Ankle stand like Jeffrey. No one remembers credit card pills like Jeffrey, ankle stand like Jeffrey No one remembers Credit card pills like Jeffrey

As a comedy host Yes, he's really great And Waterloo must have Jeffrey He'll dox you now He'll send you dough It's clear only one cat can save this whole show No one Acts like Riley, dropping facts like Riley. You're a comedy bit, no one cracks like Riley, for there's nobody quite as shiny.

See how she's got chops to spare, although sometimes she can be quite whiny. And she's got the most thick looks so brown. Oh, hey She's especially good When this show was but a few dozen weeks old. There was nothing to make a fuss. Okay. But now that he had gone past the ring and gold, she's got to show Jeff who is the boss. No.

I love this same song. He's like Riley. No one blinks like Riley. No one's carrying chocolate chips With milk like Riley And then she's off having two Gummy bears kissing Say it again And then say it once more

Who's that here next door? Who's a super success? Can't you know? Can't you guess? Ask her fans and all of her patrons There's just one gal in town Who's got it all down. And her name is R-I-L-E. No, R-I-E-L-E.

R-E-I-L-L. Why? R-I-E-L-E. Why? Why? Why me? Hi, Jeffrey! No offense to any other theme songs we've ever had. That's the best one. That's the best one. That's the best one. Rivaled only maybe by Nolan's ones where he got all the VI podcasts.

But that was, I think what I loved about it is that it loved, well, me. And I loved the opposite of that. I love when, but just all the details, like the chocolate chips and milk. The gummy bears kissing. Riley spelled the wrong way. Everyone hating Jeff, which I guess is the worst employee. Jacob, you're in

Marty. I played Gaston in middle school, too, so that actually hit kind of hard. I really wish I could have seen that. I really wish I could have seen you do the mob song in middle school. Like, come on!

Kill the beast! Kill the beast! Kill the beast! I went way too, I did too much. I believe they were like scared of you. Like you, Jeffrey, not you, Gaston. No, I was like 6'1 in eighth grade when I did that and everyone else wasn't. And I was like, kill the beast! Oh, that got me emotional.

That was from Antoine de Passy incredible incredible work I don't know if that's a stage name or not but yeah it was also making me laugh though so I think that this episode is going to be a lot of like I'm sad I'm sad that got my ass

and if that was the thing of like I'm feeling the emotion behind my eyes and I'm not being able to cry because he didn't mention the my bovine gland dysfunction, which is canon, by the way. But I would be crying. I know. But then I think it's good to start in tears because then we'll be able to laugh. Yeah.

Just so much happened from January 2020. We kind of ideated this show idea in like, like summer 2019. So it's really been like four years. It's been a long time. And then. We've recorded a lot of pilots on the show

that were really bad. Yeah. Have we ever talked about the pilots? We tried to, what was it, quickspiracies? We tried to record,

it was like, Jake and Amir came to us like in 2019. It was right when Claire Slaughter got hired and oh my god

they approached us and were like do you guys want to make a podcast together because we're going to release like a rebranding and that was like

when newcomers came out like they're releasing a whole batch of Hegem originals and they're like we'd love for you guys to have a podcast and we were so

fucking stoked we've been wanting to do something for a while and Review Review I guess the beginning, like the core of the idea was Amir's idea and then we kind of like built the show off of that,

which is crazy. Yeah, I forgot about that. But we had various ideas of like, we want to do a show that kind of has a game built in. We just don't want to like shoot the shit. Yeah, we didn't want it to be an advice show. We didn't want it to be just two friends hanging out. Yeah.

And then I was like, well, we improvise when we shoot the sketches all the time. So what about an improv show? But before it was an improv show, it was, we had ideas. We're like, what are some fun parlor games? Because that's kind of our vibe. It was like an old time, you know, even the show is like an old timey name of like a review. Like no one does a review anymore. So it's like, what's like an old timey parlor game?

And they were like, two truths and a lie. So I remember we did an episode of, I forget what the title was called,, it's like an old-timey parlor game. And they were like, Two Truths and a Lie. So I remember we did an episode of, I forget what the title was called, but it was like Two Truths and a Lie. Jeff brought in...

Wait, what? I don't remember this. You brought in either all truths or all lies. You didn't remember what it was. I don't remember that.

And so you were reading them off and it was like pop culture stuff and you were reading them off and I'm like, wait a minute. And then you paused and you're like, I don't think i got what we were supposed to do

and i'm like got it and we like that's really funny actually but then we did one or two episodes of quickspiracies where we either fabricated i think that's what that's what it must have been i'm confusing it it was that it was like are we making up shit or are we saying real shit yes it was like do we come up with a fake conspiracy or do we come up with a real one and then it was I think it was that like we both

bring in a conspiracy but some weeks it's real and some weeks it's not and we have to guess we had to guess which one's real and which is not thank god we didn't do that we wouldn't have gotten Billy Magnuson It's not. It was conspiracy theories. We had to guess which one's real and which is not. Thank God we didn't do that. Thank God we didn't do that. We wouldn't have gotten Billy Magnusson.

We wouldn't have gotten Ben Schwartz. It was like, we wouldn't have gotten Lauren Lapkus, to be sure. By the way, we didn't do, on the first part of this, I was like, let's do the best ofs. And then in between, let's also sprinkle in some memories. Oh, yeah. We can do it on this one. Totally fine. Let's do it on this one anyways because it's our last one together. Well, I'll say.

As two hosts. Not the last one together. No. Because, guys, 2023, we're kicking it off. Review, review, phase, well, two. With Alfred Russell Evans. And I'm so excited. We've already recorded the first episode.

And I can't wait for you guys to hear it. Because in my opinion, there's already a bit or episode and I can't wait for you guys to hear it because in my opinion there's already a bit or two that I think are going to be canon bits. Like they're great. Alf is so fucking funny.

I'm so excited for you guys to hear it. And that's in seven days from when people are listening to this. That's crazy. Next week you'll hear it. I'm not going to spoil

what the theme is but it is very funny. It's going to be great. But I will say one of the first memories of the show that comes to my mind before we jump in.

This is going to be a longer episode I would imagine. of the first memories of the show that comes to my mind before we jump in. This is going to be a longer episode, I would imagine. It's the last one with Jeff. One of my favorite memories that comes to mind is when we had Lauren Lapkus on. I was going to bring it up. And we were so excited to have her on. I mean, she's Lauren Lapkus. She's fucking incredible. She's improv royalty, comic royalty.

Podcast royalty. She is a fucking legend, and I adore her. And we were so excited to have her on. It was such a fun up and it was also the day that we found out that joseph r biden won the election trump lost trump lost it was well because we had it scheduled for that saturday morning and like i think we all thought that we would know before then but they announced it like we all woke up to the news before our 10 a.m. record.

Yeah. And then like I walked to the like bodega by my old place and got a bottle of cheap champagne. And like we all, I mean, you guys hopefully heard it. If not, feel free. Yeah, we were ecstatic. And it was so cool to celebrate that with her. With Lauren Lapkus.

Yeah. That was crazy. And she was all for it and was so nice and yeah that was definitely a highlight um i'm trying to think of other choice highlights like gummy bears kissing was one of my highlights i remember that wasn't even on an episode before covid we didn't record that many episodes before covid i think we did 10 we recorded one with daniel was the 10th yes and that was the day daniel finn and amir yeah were our three in-person guests yeah before covid um when i think about this show starting i like because it released january 2020 right yeah we had banked like three episodes,

I think, or two the December before the January. And then it came out in January. And then we did a couple weekly in the old studio. The last one was Daniel. And that was the night that the NBA shut down. Tom Hanks got COVID. The whole thing that everybody talks about. I remember because Daniel and I, January 2020,

weren't at Sundance for beast beast for daniel's film and i remember i was so nervous because i was like oh my god jeff my podcast is gonna come out today i hope people like it and like i remember just like listening to it with him in the car and pulling up comments and like i was so excited that like people were listening and it sounds like the show's ending it's very much not um but it just like that this iteration of it and the beginnings of it and us building this together that was a really cool memory i remember texting you like it's out i think week one we got like well and it's still we i don't know if we're not supposed

to talk numbers but i remember week one we got like 10,000 downloads. And I was like, it's really exciting, which it's bigger now. But I was like, that's crazy. Yeah. And it was the same feeling. Like when I started doing the Jeffrey, the dumb ass videos,

when I was like 19, the first video got like 30,000 views. And I remember being like, what the fuck is happening? And it was the same feeling with review review. Cause it's like, just cause people watch those doesn't matter. Like just watch those for jake and amir and this was the first thing that you and i did that was specifically not that with them yeah yeah that

was huge and it's been cool to build our audience uh and i feel like that started with this show yeah 100 and like getting and but and it's like but, like, I think the silver lining through COVID was, like, we got to record with so many amazing people who we would not have. I don't think we would have been able to record with otherwise. Yeah. And I think even since everyone got vaxxed, it's been harder to get bigger guests. Totally. So that's, like, the evidence of it. But, yeah, like, and i was living with my parents and so like for a couple months they're like eight

months um i like broke my lease out here moved home because i wasn't sure what was gonna happen i didn't want to pay rent for no reason uh moved in with them and was like doing it from my parents house closet like uh and we had lamorne and billy lamorne's like all the new girl cast are my idols and got to yeah i was shitting my pants before the lamorne episode we did the gall campaign y'all made that happen y'all made the gall made gall happen and now he's been on three times and like we yeah with ben tradition we had met like several times, but had never done something creative with. Yeah. Lauren.

I mean, who else? Gabrus. Gabrus. And also just like having all of our friends and loved ones on the show, too. Yeah, that's, I think, in more recent memory. It's been fun to have, like having Cecily and Alden on the show. That was a really funny episode. George Margaritaville multiple with daniel multiple with elizabeth it's kershian baby christian thirsty baby christian thirsty daniel elizabeth um the fucking i mean like even just

what i'm so grateful for as alf is joining a host is, like, the past two episodes he's done have been hits. Like, immediately after his first episode, people were like, this is one of the best episodes. The first one was really good. That, like, one of the best guests ever. And I remember calling Alfred because, spoiler alert, by the time he'd already done his first episode, we're like, we want him to be the new host. I can't believe we hadn't had him on for years. I can't either because I've done improv with Alf for a very long time. Yeah.

But I remember calling him after his first episode came out. I'm like, Alf, it's crazy. People are loving it. They're saying you're one of the best guests ever. He goes, would have been a tough fucking spot for you, huh? People didn't like me. Yeah. And we're like, hmm. I said this in the discord but I think like I'm not worried about

the show at all I think it's gonna be great I'm so excited it's gonna be even better it's gonna be like I think it will be better it'll be different in a good way I'm excited I'm trying to think of what other I mean let's let's get to the first one and then we can we can intersperse it with more memes. All right, here we go. Best of. Number four of the Best of Review Review 2022 is... Speak of the fucking devil. Axe Throwing Places with Alfred Bardwell Evans. Get out of here! Oh, my little wimphum. My little alfreeney-teeny.

What do you... This was... This was very recent. Only, like, a month ago or two months ago. I remember being very nervous before this episode. I remember being, like, scared shitless. Like, having breakfast in the morning, telling Daniel, he's like, it's just another episode. You gotta calm the fuck down.

Because I'm just like, this needs to be... This needs to be the perfect episode. It needs to be the funniest fucking thing we've ever done. And, like, putting a lot of pressure on it to be this amazing ep. And it was such a fun ep. But I remember feeling an unhealthy kind of pressure. But yeah, wild. So anyway, stoked to have Alfred on.

I can't fucking wait. Yeah. And I'm ready for Axe Ring. What do you remember of this episode, Jeff? Yeah, I remember being a little nervous. But I remember like being like almost three minutes in and being like, this is going to be a good episode. Yeah. And then it was.

We only did two bits in it. There's only two scenes. That's right. And they were both great and then there was one moment where i kind of pimped him out a little bit in the first scene which is not the one that i chose but um but it was perfect it was like so glad he did that he was pursuing 13 college degrees and i was like great name all of them name all 13 which like when and then he did yeah which when you're good at improv, you can do that to somebody. And so the way he responded to that too was like, this guy's going to be fine. And my last one's in theology.

When he was like, Jesus Christ, my 13th degree, theology. Religious studies. We've been talking a bunch. Without further ado, this is number four of the Best Of Review Review 2022. Acts Thrown Places with Alfred Bardwell Evans. Open your ears, fuckers. Oh, God. What?

I didn't say anything. I didn't do anything. When you look at what I did, I didn't do anything. When you look at what I did. My wife always has trouble choosing gifts for me, but she scored on this one. This bath bomb set makes the perfect man gift that I will actually get used. I have four sisters and I swear they never know what to get for me. I literally have a full cabinet of unused colognes and shave sets.

When I first saw this, I was perplexed at how cool our society is to provide such unthought of products. I almost never write reviews, but I do when something surprises me, and this product is deserving. Son, um... Just a... An ugly... Now you're setting him off. Tell him. Tell him all 30...

Are you okay to read your review now? Yeah, that's... Okay. Nice. Throwing in Jacksonville, Florida. Of course it is. This is from Caitlin S. Sever. That's what I was going to say.

Really? Yeah. Group mind. My husband and I came in on Wednesday. We had Madison. Wait, sorry, how many stars? Did I miss that? Oh, one.

That's going to go ahead and be one star. Great. My husband and be one star. Great. My husband and I came in on Wednesday. We had Madison as our expert. Nice. And it's safe to say that we will never be going back. Not only was she really rude to me, but the entire time she was flirting with my husband, he would miss and she would say things like oh try again or nice try but if i

missed she would say really unencouraging things to me she made me so uncomfortable we left before our hour was up she taught my husband a trick shot after like 25 minutes and allowed him to do a two-handed trick one-handed she at one point pushed me out of my range and started throwing axes with my husband as if it was their date. She was constantly on her phone, and I was certain she was taking pictures and videos of my husband throwing axes.

We had come to learn something new and have a good time But it's safe to say we will not be back Hey, hey handsome I couldn't help but notice that Your grip on the axe is Maybe a little subpar I'm Madison, I work here. I'm one of the experts.

Figured I could give you a hand. Or two. Whatever. Oh, thank you. Yeah, no, that'd be totally fine. Could I just get a... Yeah. Sorry, do you hear something? No, me? Do I hear anything?

Do I hear anything? Um... I hear the music right oh I guess maybe it was on the music anyway uh how do I yeah I guess how do I hold it I guess is a good starting point well I guess sorry are you are you two together are you yeah oh um sorry sorry three years oh i didn't i was just more asking like are you two here together in this one lane for the axe throwing oh yes we are okay um and sorry can i get your name handsome sorry we're both handsome i didn't know who you were talking to. I'm talking to you, tall glass of water. Thank you. You can call me Duncan.

Hi, Duncan. And what's your name? Ugly? Sorry? Normie? Normie Ugly? What's your name? Holy shit. Yeah, my name's your name? Holy shit.

Yeah, my name's Lily. Hi, Lily. Disgusting. Okay, well, handsome Duncan, if you wouldn't mind, I can just like kind of... What the hell was that? Snake around behind you and I can help you... What? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what? What?

No, no, you're fine. You're fine. Oh, okay. Lil, what are you? No, no, you're fine. You're fine. Oh, okay. Lil, what are you, why are you being so rude to Madison? Are you kidding me? She's just trying to help us throw. She called me a normie and ugly, and then after I told her my name, she called me disgusting. Dr. Swanson talked about you're just projecting

just because you feel that way about yourself does not mean that that's what other people are thinking or saying about you it's fine she seems really sweet well we also don't go to Dr. Swanson anymore because I misheard you when you said that it was what I thought an MFT

but it was an NFT have her so that was just your buddy You said that it was what I thought an MFT, but it was an NFT. Haver. So that was just your buddy. Yeah, and he's very good with economics and also, you know, the market, the free market of a relationship, I think, as well. He's very good at the free market of a relationship. Yeah. Things are getting too serious in here. There's a lot of talky talky and not enough.

Not enough. Not enough. Axie. Axie. What's funny? of talky talky and not enough axie axie. What's funny about that? So true, Madison. God, you're funny. Not enough axie. Oh my God, thank you.

Not really. So, okay, Duncan, Daddy Duncan, I'm just going to sneak around. I don't have children. You don't. No. You don't have kids. Very much untethered. Untethered. Untethered.

I love that. What the fuck is happening, babe? Hey, Lily? Ass? Can you just, like, give us a minute? I'm trying to teach Duncan here. Why aren't you teaching both of us? Oh, an ax.

Why aren't I teaching? I never said I wasn't going to teach both of you. I literally never said that. Get your ears checked, Lily. Okay, sorry. Why are you sorry? You're so meek. You're so meek and Duncan's so confident and so hot. And you're sitting here just not. And you're going to rot. Now, excuse me. Well, I'm going to put my hands on your husband's hands. I'm going to put them around the base of this axe. I'm going to squeeze them tightly.

And then one, two, three. Whoa. Bullseye. Now, see, Duncan, I don't think you would have been able to do that with Lily. I don't think you would have been able to do that without my tiny little baby. Little hands are on your big, strong, manly ones. No, it's true. Lily doesn't know anything about axe throwing. Let me see your hands, Lily.

That doesn't matter. Let me see your hands, Lily. Giant. Calloused. Dry. Hey. Uneven fingers. Dry. Hey. Uneven fingers. Hey, Madison?

What? What? What'd I do? What'd I do? You're starting to cross a line. A line? Yeah, okay? Nobody makes fun of her hands like that, okay? That's the only time you even thought.

I wasn't making fun of them. Her hands are normal sized. Well, not compared to my little dainty delicate ones. I am not. My girlfriend does not have big hands. Oh, so you're not married?

No. Oh, my mistake. This is going to be not married? No. Oh. My mistake. This is going to be a lot easier than I thought. Lily, I would like you to move to the other lane. Right now. I'm not going to do that. Lil, just do what she says. Just do what I say. Are you kidding me?

Just do what I say. What's the big problem? She's been overtly the rudest person to me in my life ever. Your hands are so small. I think. Mine? No, I was talking to Lily. Oh.

Can we have a moment? You and me? No, me and Lily. You're like really close. Okay. Sorry, I'll back up. You're beeping, but you're not moving. I'll go now. Okay. I'll go now. You're beeping, but you're not moving. I'll go now.

I'll go now. Thank you. Start taking videos. Lily, look. She's filming us. She's filming us. I don't understand where you're falling on this issue because you stand up for me with the hands.

You stand up for me just now with her being close to you. But every other time you've been like madison you said i'm untethered i mean i'm just i'm just i'm just confused i guess about hearing you talk this way because when we had our conversation last week you said that you didn't like um the responsibility of dating me you said that you felt like it was you were being my mommy and then it was a lot of work for you and that you felt like my therapist and all these things and i was like okay and i kind of took that as a cue to start you know looking around and like appreciating you know know, such a piece of shit. You know,

I break up with you, obviously, because if that landed to you as not just me setting a boundary and saying, I need you to be working on yourself within this as I am on me. You took it as, let me start looking for the next game. Not the next one, but maybe at the same time.

I'm gone. Oh. Wait, did I just hear that you guys are no longer together? No. I mean, I overheard. I also have it on video. We're together. We're very much together. I'm breaking up with you.

If you're broken up, I'm no longer interested in you. If you're together, then I'm even wetter. Look, Lily. But if you're apart, then you're not for me. So what is this? Lily, I know that you broke up with me just now, and I get that. Ew.

No, you- Lily's cool now. No, wait. No, wait. Lily, just pretend that we're still together for a few more minutes so I can bag this one. I don't care what you do or have and the last thing i'm going to do right now is help you out you're being hey lily wait lily before you go i'm really sorry about all that misunderstanding back there i think there

was a lot of just miscommunication between the two of us and i think the way you might have interpreted what i was doing was wrong. And it wasn't, but because we're here and now I just want to say like, I'm sorry if I made you feel any kind of way that wasn't the intention. And I'm wondering if like, maybe we could go get a Boba. We can't get,

go get a Boba, but you pissed me off so much and he pissed me off so much that I need to take out my frustration on someone's body sexually. So if you want to come back home with me, we can do that now. But this is the only time I'm going to ask. And if you don't say yes right now, that's totally fine. But I'm going to go. Let's go.

Okay. I'm so confused. Brother, did you say you're confused? Do you need help with the axe? No. I mean, yeah. brother did you say you're confused do you need hope with the axe no i mean yeah because i got a guy there is someone here who's got 13 college degrees no way help you with your life and with your arm throwing axe i it's like have you ever had a day where your life was so bright and perfect and you had a girlfriend and also a flirting with someone and then

in an instant it turns and it flips and it goes around the other way and now you're so so lonely. Boy do I have the mentor for you. Sick. That sounds really

hype are you gonna come over here or not yeah just give me a sec calls hey Lily I know we haven't

talked in a while and I genuinely I hope you and Madison are really happy. I just want to let you know that I met somebody, too. He's got 13 college degrees, four of them are terminal, and he has really turned my life around for the better a lot better than you ever did

so I hope you're thriving and I hope 30 is treating you dirty you witch hangs up and I hope 30 is 30. What do you want?

What are your goals? Been the phone call. Was so nice. Still misguided, but nice. And then ends it so rude. You witch. I think you don't have a grip on reality. Have you ever

had a girlfriend and also flirting with someone at the same time? Very much untethered. She's got big hands. Well now hold on.

That's where you draw the line what do you want said anything oh my god calls her like it's been a year hey lily i know we haven't talked in a long time i'm not even at my car yet five minutes if that oh my god maybe we could get a boba no i don't want to go get a boba but i do need to take my anger out on somebody oh so you don't have kids no i'm no very much you said we were untethered lily's barely saying anything just kind of watching it happen clocking everything hey lily it's over. Hey, Lily. Ass. Hey, Lily. Ass.

Like Lily in the ears. She'll respond to ass. She'll do that to me. Hey, Lily. Ass. I got your attention. You're still an ass that's so funny

I met someone you didn't you have not met him yet I wish that the zoom had been a video episode because of the way in my mind's eye Alfred looked on the phone call where he's like I met someone and

he was so drafted she's changed my life for the better better than you ever did better than you ever did and it's like you don't know who you are

or what you want I hope 30 is treating you dirty you witch so funny oh Alfie Alfie little

Alfie little freeny teeny. Number three on the 2022 Best of Review Review is... Scrub Daddy. Beep! With Amir Blumenfeld. review review is scrub daddy are you surprised because you didn't like that episode i'm it's not that i don't fucking remember any episode past october of 2022 that we've done this year. I will say I do think we did this in October 2022. No, we fucking didn't.

Let's see. Maybe not, but I feel like it was more recent than we think. October 4th? Hmm. I guess it just kind of makes you think. What does it make you think about? It makes you think, like, what's memorable, what's forgettable, just in life generally,

not anything having to do with that episode or the show. That episode specifically. Oh. You didn't like. I liked it. No, of course I liked it. I love doing our show with Amir because every time we've had Amir on. Which is twice.

Are you serious? No. No. We've had him on with Jake. Well, thrice, including with Jake. Every time. The three times

we've had Amir on, but mostly the two. I can't believe it's only been two. Maybe just because we do sketches with him all the time. I feel like we've done

so much more with him. Yeah. We probably should have had him and or Jake on twice more than we did. Because people love it. I will probably have him and Jake on.

And vice versa, have us on if I were you. If you're having DeMarco on, have us. Well, he's like an A-list star at the moment. And? Alf lives in Chicago. Which sort of negates stardom. You can't be an A-lister if you live in Chicago. No, I think every time we have Amir on an episode,

my favorite running bit that we do with Amir, not even in the improv because we always, like, are trying to keep the game going, but, like, we'll be bantering, bantering,

Amir will say anything and we're just like, so let's get to the first review. Review. Just fully, just end stop. And he's like, are you fucking kidding me? Well, you're on our turf now.

So you gave us the show and now we have honor autonomy. He did this to us. He gave us power and a platform that he shouldn't have given us. Not to mention cash. We're getting cash from sponsors, not from Amir. For the show. For sketches, we're getting cash from sponsors not from amir for the show for sketches we're getting cash from amir that's true but from the show we don't know of anything except the idea which is kind of the whole thing did he come up with it i thought we came up with it he suggested it we were asking for things and he's like you know i've had this idea for a show

no that's right he had an idea where people but... But it wasn't improv based. It wasn't improvised. It was like reading funny Yelp reviews and then just talking about them. But then we were like, that, but improv. Yes. And I think that we punched it up. Let's listen to Scrub Daddy with Amir Blue. Scrub Daddy. Number three.

Best ever review 2022. With Amir Blue. Minfeld. Minfeld. Let's take a listen. I got one short one uh it was actually an answer to a question on the web somebody asked about scrub daddy and somebody answered question does this actually get hard when cold? Answer. Yes, it returns to its original state when completely dry.

This is from user J-Lo. I love these. They're a great Valentine gift for all of our grandchildren. I don't think so. Leanne. Leanne, happy Valentine's Day. Talk to your grandfather. Just talk. Say thank you.

He's so old. I don't know how to talk to old people. He's the reason I'm alive, and you're the reason that I'm alive. So you guys have that in common. I was going to kill myself until you were born. Just talk to him. Hi, Grandpa. Put down the switch.

I did. I said hi, Grandpa. He just keeps saying my name. Hi, Grandpa. It's Leanne. Happy Valentine's Day. Thanks, Grandpa. You have any flames? You have any any lovers i'm 10 just he likes hearing about your fucking boyfriends talk to him i don't have many years left i'd

love for you to have some grandchildren every year do you want me to open the package? Open it on the call. Open it on the call. Alright, here's the package. Oh, that's nice. There's a lot of Valentine's peanut stickers on there. Move those aside and get to the meat of the gift. I'm admiring the package. Dad!

Dad! This is why he's talking to Grandpa. He sucks. You have to talk to him. You never talk to him. Because I came out of his dick and you came out of mine. Just start being fucking polite. I feel like you never talk to Grandpa. One second. I feel like you never talk to him.

He's my dad. You talk to me. You always put the phone to me. Yes, exactly right. He loves hearing your voice. Okay, I'm back, Grandpa. Sorry, I dropped the phone. Have I ever told you about my favorite pastime?

Are you going to talk about bowling again? Your bowling team? No, reading about oil magnates' dowries. What? Just pretend you know what he's saying Let him talk You don't even have to listen When I was a kid there weren't celebrities

There were oil and steel magnates And the coolest thing they could have was a dowry Now it's all about Kardashian this. Right? Paris Hilton's aunt. But no. I thought it'd be cool to send you

something on Valentine's and I'm starting to think you don't even like the gift, Leanne. I haven't even opened it because you started talking about oil tycoons. Dad! Like, this is so unfair. Okay, fine. I'll open it. Okay.

Thanks, Grandpa. And you love it. Thanks for the what? I don't know why he was talking about oil tycoons. And then a lead into this because it's a sponge. Grandpa sent me a sponge not just any sponge right it's an it's a magic eraser or what is it it's a it's a scrub daddy but it's not even in the packaging he just sent me a loose scrub daddy in a in like a fedex box

i'd like to think of it as a scrub granddaddy. Leanne! What? Grandpa, you keep saying my name! You didn't say your lover's name. Or anything. I don't have a lover! I haven't even had a kiss. I'm ten years old! I can give advice! What are your quarrels?

Ask Dad! Dad hasn't seen Mom for the better part of two months. Oh, thank God. Your mother's the worst. Hey, dad. Hey. Thanks for the sponge. Sorry about sorry about Leanne. She she she doesn't know what she's talking about. My wife, your daughter, is still with me.

You said that you came out of his dick. Stop punching the pillow. I'm right here. I know you're angry. Peter, are you on the hooch again? I'm not drunk, if that's what you're asking. That's not what I was asking. I am on that drug named hooch again i'm not drunk if that's what you're asking that's not what i was asking i am on that drug named hooch yes i'm gonna go back to playing mario kart that's fair put your son back on the

phone i'm a girl leanne what how do you pass the time told you a little bit about how I like to read. I like playing video games. What's that? He's never heard of video games. Explain it to him like he's five. I like playing. It's like, so I can't. How do you explain it? No, wait, I can hear you.

Sorry. I was going to say you're breaking up. It's like a game that's on the TV, but it's like it's virtual. So it's like it's a racing game, but with like a bunch of creatures and like you like try and stop other people's cars. It's like you throw a banana or a bomb or something. Oh, I know racing games. You know, when you do.

Yeah. When Jefferson Steel and Loyal Oil... I don't know who those are. Race to the finish line. Greatest Profits of 1939. Q4. I have to go talk to him. I think he's having another episode.

He's remembering, I guess, something that happened to him when he was 15 or something like that. Can I be off the call now to him when he was 15 or something like that. Leanne? Can I be off the call now to say thank you for the sponge or whatever? Yeah, say thank you for the sponge. I'm going to head over there. Thank you for the sponge, Grandpa. Leanne, I don't think you like the sponge.

Yes or no, do you like the sponge? No, I don't like the sponge. Well, the joke's on you because there was a thousand dollars hidden inside the sponge. And the fact that you don't like it, you're going to send it back to your old grandpappy, aren't you? I love magnets. So I made a fortune and I hid it in a sponge. Your cousin, Lise, she liked the sponge. It's just a phone and his voice.

There's no one else in the room. I'm looking through the sponge. It's just a phone and his voice. There's no one else in the room. I'm lucky through the sponge. There's nothing in here. Dad. Really? I thought I even think, well, I sent one sponge to Leanne and I spent one sponge to charity.

And I'm a little bit, a little bit regretting that decision. Cause if there's one thing I know about dowries, it's about hoarding it for yourself and not giving it away. My nursing home nurse has been abusing me for a year. That's okay. We're hanging up. Didn't hear that last part. Bye, Dad.

Thank you so much. Happy Valentine's Day. Leanne! Loyal oil. day loyal oil I maybe don't have anything to say about that yeah yeah yeah put my put your son back on just you and Amir talking and then just like the intermittent I love magnets.

Leanne. I think honestly, sleeper pick, my favorite line in that is, Leanne, what do you do to pass the time? Told you a little bit about how I like to read. What's your lover's name? Have I ever told you about my favorite pastime? Because it's reading about mid-century oil magnets. What? Tell me your quarrels.

What's your lover's name? I love hearing about your boyfriends. I never had a first kiss. Oh, my God. I've been the nurse of my retirement I was in a music period Okay dad

That's fine We didn't hear that That's fine That's fine Oh I'm here I feel like that one really speaks for itself It does

I don't remember it being that funny That's very funny I feel like Leanne Leanne Like literally from the phone

taunting Leanne Leanne Leanne. Leanne. Leanne. Vibrato. I'm starting to think you don't like the sponge. Because actually there was a full rack in there.

Opens it, there isn't. I don't know what you thought you did. But there's nothing in here. It is a loose, somehow still wet scrub daddy in a box. This is too much trash. Leanne, I'm sleeping with 10-year-olds in the year of our Lord, 2022. Leanne. And then her grandfather has seemingly been alive since 1910.

And her grandfather's 112 years old. Just die. It's fine that you're being abused and you're old fuck. He's never gonna die. I don't have many years left. You might as well bear kids. Slash sterns. Have you bled yet?

Oh my god. Alright, number two. That's my favorite yet? Oh my God. All right. Number two. That's my favorite line in any kind of Game of Thrones. Has she bled yet? Has she bled yet? Number two on the best of review review 2022 is. Beep.

Beep. Could have guessed this one. Beep. Frr. Number two. Is it Haunted Houses? Unky Ryan. Unky.

Unky. Unky is the only time I've heard Unky uses it over the garden wall. Over the garden wall. Is that what you were referencing? I was just saying Unky, but then I remembered over the garden wall. Unky and a cot. Unky Ryan. Haunted Houses.

Three. Tres. Haunted Houses, tres. You you're bilingual i'm trilingual as in i'm trying to be bilingual got it ryan gall had the gall nearly three years ago some may say some may say some may say yeah ryan gall is the heart and soul of the show. He is sort of a godfather character. He is the godfather to Review Review. Yeah. He is our unky. He's like, okay, so let me do my Ryan Gall. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You come to me on the day. I don't think I did it very well. But in my head it sounded great. The beginning was good. And then it petered out. You come to me. It's crazy. We've now had him on the live show.

So four times, actually. We've had him on four times. Yeah. He is, I mean, he's a staple of Review Review now. Yeah. And I can't wait for him to work with Alf. That's going to be crazy. That's going to be really fun.

Shout out, Ryan. I hope you're listening to this. He makes improv just feel like pure joy. Well, because he's so good at it that it's just like he throws all the rules out the window. Exactly. Which is why this episode was an accidental mono scene. This might be, I don't know about like favorite episode like as an episode, but like favorites to have done. It was so fucking fun.

Some of the most fun I've ever had. Yeah. To do a 45 minute improv scene. We improvised one scene for the better part of an hour. I had also, when we recorded this, I had just recorded two episodes of the HeadGumPod. Oh, Jesus. And I was like, I gotta like psych myself

up. And then I didn't. Because we just went and it was like a fever dream. I blacked out. Which, even when I blacked out, I browned out. And also he said to us every time we see him he's like i listen to the show every week when i walk or when i run i think he's a pretty fit guy and i'm just like he doesn't have to do that he doesn't have to support it he doesn't have to come back he's our unky rye rye uh i just think he's one of the people in this industry that's just a very good person.

He's a great guy. He's an amazing guy. And so, yeah. I mean, I guess. I love you, Ryan. Thank you. Ryan, if you're listening to this. Ryan, oh my God.

Here's a fucking review of your memory. He got us on Vulture twice. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. I remember. What the fuck? That was a complete shock. We were written. Yeah. I remember. What the fuck? That was a complete shock.

We were written up in fucking Vulture. I woke up to that, to some Twitter notification. I think it was from Vulture's Twitter account. That was crazy. I was like, why did they tag me in this? And also someone else, Janelle James was the thumbnail. I was like, why did they tag us in this? Clicked on it.

I was like, I was looking at. That was a huge day. I've been looking at This Week in Comedy Podcasts on Vulture since I was like 17 or 18. that was a huge day i've been looking at this week in comedy podcast on vulture since i was like 17 or 18 that was a huge day for years i remember being in college doing improv on second nature uh at usc and just like we in practice would be like just like showing each other this week in comedy podcast uh and i remember that boosted our numbers a little bit yeah but also just like, was like, holy shit. Like,

yeah, it was again, one of those affirming moments. Like it's, you know, we're doing something right. Yeah. That felt amazing.

And it's, I just, it's so incredible that both of them have been the haunted houses of Ryan as well. They should be, but it's, I'm very grateful for Ryan to have been on for that. Um, that was just a really meaningful day.

And to be able to now have like behind the scenes peak in our like packet of like pitching people to show like for guests and whatever, to be able to say that we got a vulture right up, pat ourselves on the back. Like that's really fun. I'm really proud of us and really proud of that. And really grateful to Ryan to bring his skills because it's like, he makes me

he makes me a better improviser and like he makes me want to be a better improviser I think he also was the first like we had Finn

on the show who's like a more like you know just one of the most famous people on the planet but not like a

and he can improvise and he's very funny but he's not like an improv community mainstay and so Gahl I think was the first person from that UCB

Groundlings LA improv scene to be on it and then we were like you know yeah able to pitch it to Lauren and to

all the other people that we had on yeah having him on one is amazing in itself but then being able to get that write up from him

I feel like just like legitimize this in a different way yeah um and and again just like the fact that he listens to it still it's crazy and i we just ryan you are one of the funniest people i've ever encountered in my life and we love you unky rye rye you're our unky you're our unky rye rye i hope you're listening on your i hope you're running like a little RyRy, like a little Unky. With VR goggles on, watching the video episode. Without further ado though, this is Haunted Houses 3.

With RyRy. Unky. This is a one star review from Matthew A. Ryan, can we get a last name for Matthew A? Autumnberry. Gorgeous. Matthew Autumnberry. Kind of a great name.

One star for Matthew Autumnberry. It's one thing to scare customers, but some of the female employees were rude to my wife. It was obvious because she's attractive. So beware, if they don't like your look, the girls will make the experience unenjoyable for you. My wife is so fucking hot that

they were mean to her in the haunted house! Guy comes out of the haunted house. Guys, you guys were so right. Like, I think they were like extra scary to me because I'm sort of, I don't know, like a bombshell. I don't know. I'm sorry, we're taking some... We're just getting reviews. Either of you want to give a review of the Haunted House,

we're going to video you and use you for marketing, and we give you a dollar Starbucks gift card in exchange. Yeah. I'm like soaking wet, like sweat, blood dripping off. Yeah. Oh, my God. I guess I'll off. Yeah. Oh, my God. I guess I'll go. Hi.

Here's a towel. You can use this towel. Thank you. I really need that. What's your name, brother? Kim. Kim. So sorry.

Hey, Kim. And I don't like the word brother I'm so sorry about that Kim so I'm just a little shaken up that was I don't know if you've been in there yeah I've done it several times it was so intense I mean I guess all I'll say is like

you've got to be really really like have thick skin metaphorically and literally because they do tase you and they do put you through the most intense horrors ever imaginable. And I don't know, I feel like it's like, I've never experienced anything like that in my life.

It was really, really gnarly. I didn't even go through. Oh, hi. Who are you? Oh, I thought we were doing the review all both at the same time.

I can go after. No, are you guys together? Are you guys together? This is my brother-in- you? Oh, I thought we were doing the review all both at the same time. I can go after you. No, are you guys together? Are you guys together? This is my brother-in-law. He, I mean, like, I'm with a different, I'm with the group, but we ran into each other here. So he's like, oh, can I join your group? And so that's kind of how that happens.

I like the term. No. Because I feel like we are brothers. No, you can use it with me. You can use that term with me. I can or he can. I, whoever I'm looking at, do you see me looking at you?

No. Sorry, I thought the house was over. I didn't realize it was still hitting that. No, the house is over. This interaction is much better than what I had in there. I don't know what you experienced. They pulled me aside into what appeared to be a barbershop room. You're so funny. And they gave me... You're very funny. I, what you experienced. They pulled me aside into like what was appeared to be like a barbershop room.

And they gave me. You're very funny. That's no, you're cute. That's I'm sorry. No, you're just cute and funny. And I love that. Do you, so do you guys think on a scale of one, one to 10, would you come back or recommend this house to some of your friends?

We'll start with you. I would recommend. house to some of your friends? We'll start with you. I would recommend. We'll start with you. Yeah. I mean, it's not for everybody. I'll say that. So you just got to really read the waiver carefully.

And yeah, it's one of those you have to do to sign a waiver. So if you're into that kind of thing, sure. Okay. I don't think I'm. No, that's enough.

And you, do you think what would what on a scale of one to ten would you share it with your friends oh yeah i would i would definitely share with my friends um but you work out you know i i row a little bit i'm a rower or do you do it in the ocean a little boat you switch of both. I could tell that about you. You could tell? I'm sorry, we're talking. I'm just waiting to get my Starbucks gift card. You're withholding it until the interview's done.

It's not a physical card. It's a printout of a coupon code. So I have to have Reggie print it out anyway. Okay. Just between us you know yeah one dollar is really not a lot at starbucks these days is there anywhere like you could do like a ten dollar for me of course i could you want ten of these i mean i can't print it this is the best i can do what's your name he's married i'm sorry i feel like i introduced him saying it's like he is my brother-in-law and so

it's like i can pick up on like this. It's you guys are clearly flirting, which is fine, but like, I'm not, I am not allowed to flirt with anyone. I'm not. Neither am I.

Right. I'm sorry. Can I write down your names for the Starbucks cards? Yeah. So it's Rodney. Desmond. I bet it is. You bet it is.

He said his name. I get what's... Listen, I'm... What's your name? My name's Ron. No, my sister is Sarah. His wife, his wife of five years

is Sarah and she's sitting in the car waiting to pick us up right now. So I can go get her. Basic bitch name, but what's your name? Oh my God. I said, my name is Ron. Ron. Okay. So Ron and Rod.

Okay. Yeah. Let me just print these out. It's going to take one second or like, I there's a weird energy coming from you. And then Rod seems to be totally chill weird it's the weird energy is that one I didn't want to run into him here that's already the weird energy is coming do you want to talk about that why didn't you want to run into him that really actually hurts my feelings oh my god I don't know why I became the villain here no it's okay you're better than this Rod I know

he's not though you don't know him he's actually not you've met him you've known him for five seconds you think he's cute because what let me guess it's short for Ronald yeah why is classic

classic I don't know what your deal is Why is Classic Classic I don't know what your deal is I don't know why He's being nicer to me than anyone has ever been in our family Alright Now we're getting So excuse me Do you know why people are mean to you

Do you know why we don't like including you in things It's because you do what you do right now You exit every situation being like I didn't have a good time because I'm so hot and that's not why you didn't have a good time are you talking to me i'm not talking to you i don't know why you stare i knew i sounded like you were talking to him i don't know who you are so i don't know i i'm sorry i i'm trying to get you in on this conversation and that's your problem isn't it we've been talking to him for five minutes right and you don't know him You should kind of know him by then. I'm talking about

historically how you leave situations. I don't know. I'm sorry. I just met you. I don't know how you move about the world. These are printed out now. There you go. This is for you. Thank you. And then there's an envelope for you. Right? Thank you. What did we get? What's in that?

You put more than ten in here. Don't worry about it. We're sponsored by Fresca. Do you guys want a diet or a regular? I guess I'll have a regular. Fresca's diet only. Fuck. Then why'd you offer the regular? It lets me learn about people. He's funny. You're funny. He's not. You're funny. He's not. You're funny.

This is crazy. This is... You're crazy, Ron. Ron. Five years in this family, no one's ever asked how I am like he did. He asked you for an interview. This is sponsored content for this house. He doesn't give a shit about you.

Maybe he does. Maybe he wants to fuck you, I guess. But like, this is for an interview. Pardon me? I am interested in how he felt about our haunted house i do not wish to they gave me a haircut i do not wish to them i think your hair looks great that rod me you hear that yeah but there's like a coy glint doesn't matter it doesn't matter it doesn't matter what do you

mean it doesn't matter you're just just looked at me like that in years we're not flirting i'm not asking him what he's doing tomorrow for lunch if he was he'd say you're not i wouldn't meet you over at carolyn's brunch place you guys think you're being not at 11 not at 11 30 and it's crazy listen what's sarah doing tomorrow i i'm not my sister's keeper were you talking to me oh well it seems like you've been your sister's keeper for the last couple minutes it seems like you've been real on top of protecting her life and maybe you should let things develop as they develop and i'm not saying anything but sometimes you're not saying anything you want to you asked sorry you asked my brother-in-law what did you just choke on they put a cockroach in my mouth in the room and that's kind of working

its way up i could talk about that in the interview, but no, you just want to make plans to go get a sub with Rodney tomorrow. Well, I guess if that's, what's going to help the interview, we do have an advanced level interview and I picked somebody. No, that is something I pick every once in a while. I find somebody that I think is going to have a more in-depth review and I say come meet me at Carolyn's for a

roast beef sub and then does it end there well I guess that's up to whoever you would love it to end there that hurts oh you'd love it to not end easy Rodney Ronald you'll leave us here and you'll tell Sarah that I'll be home late.

Just not that late. Trust me. After getting worked up like this. What? What? Did you finish? Did you just shotgun your fresca? Me?

No. Me or him? He's sipping his politely. I saw you shotgun your fresca. I want to get he's sipping his politely i saw you shotgun your i want to get out of this interaction as quickly as possible if that means me shotgunning a diet fresca then that's what i need to do and it did help the cockroach go down easy so all fresca's i'm gonna write that down that's actually a great quote shotgun your fresca after you come out it'll help the cockroach go can i use that go for it go

for it use it you just sign here so if we use that in a film or anything uh some sort of commercial can we use that cut to their tiktok advertising it's like a series of people who have been talking to this guy and they're all frustrated i don't know yeah i'll shotgun a fresca i guess and it helps the cockroach good what do you want me to say it cuts uh yeah i'll uh yeah you want just one fresca i can shotgun as many frescas as you want you cuts i i love diet fresca i guess all frescas cuts now what do you mean all i've never had a fresca so yes fine i'll have it cut yeah uh i'll do it uh but can you get a picture of me and my family we're visiting from uh

i haven't had a fresca since like 2003 i didn't even know that they still made them cuts no cuts no no i won't do that i'm not gonna do that i paid a lot of money to get in here i do not want to shotgun i've never shotgunned a beer i'm not gonna shotgun your goddamn press that's rude to even ask i'm leaving i'm leaving can somebody pull up my suburban? There's a valet. It's so hard to find a cutting point in that because then it goes to... It goes on for another like 35 minutes. Like the haunted house where the parking attendant parks all the cars in the lot, like in the tree orchard next to it.

And then like. That's nothing. No, that's something. No, that's something. And then later he like has sex with all of them. With the one who comes into the house. I have such a visceral memory of Ryan being like, oh, I need to get a rubber. This is such a visual

scene for me. Like, as you're doing it, I just remember, like, really picturing the field. Same. Same. That's nothing. No, that's something. No, that's something. Like, positive. No, that's something. Oh my god. Well, all Fresca's diet, so positive. No, that's something. Oh my God.

Well, all fresca's diet, so. Honestly, for that one, I just recommend re-listening to the whole episode. Listen to the whole episode. It was hard to pick one bit from that. Because it's all just like low level, like, you know, like the feeling of when you're just kind of anxious. But of like, at any moment, you're going to crack up. And then I just remember it gets like, the heightened is like,

he like cooks, someone takes his wife and kid. Yeah. Like, it just gets crazier. And that was such- His conviction is so funny of like, no, this is normal. And remember, it's like, that was like, I forget what the parking attendant's name was,

but it was like, he's actually a great guy. And he stands up for himself. He's like, no, I'm a nice guy. I'm actually, it happens in anything bad. When you look at what I did, I didn't do anything. And everyone's like, fuck, you're right. No, I feel like shit. Now I feel like I'm getting frustrated for no reason, which is just gaslighting.

So good. Oh, unky. I couldn't agree more with you about like that being one of the episodes where I just had the most fun recording it

I was on a high after that episode I felt like I was high and I also remember clocking like this scene's been going on

for 30 minutes I think we should just make it a mono scene and then we did and it was perfect it was great

shout out Ryan Gall truly the goat the Gall of all time the Gall of all time The Gall of all time. The Gall of Gall time. The Gall of Gall time. Any other memories from the show?

I mean, so many. It's like when you're put on the spot of like, what's your favorite movie? And then you're like, have I ever seen a movie? Like, it's... I was thinking more about the virtual live show we did, though. That was so fun. It was Gall, George, Kylie. Speaking of a memory, fucking, I forget what we were reviewing. Was it Wineries with Kylie?

Wineries. And there was- Tom Bickman. Yes! Wineries with Kylie Raikman. That shit was so fucking funny. Yeah. I'm Tom Bickman.

I feel like we're going to end this episode, and I'm going to be flooded with so many memories. I mean, truly, the next time I come on as a guest, we can also just keep it going. Oh, I think my favorite. Oh, yeah. Max and Yvonne, they were just call it that episode. That episode was amazing. That's one of my favorite episodes. Max and Yvonne's episode of weatherspoons um but i think my favorite review review moment with

jeffrey james hands fucking down is i have no idea what you're about to say simon come back oh yeah simon any time where we make the same move and we either vocalize it or like you do something that i was about to do or vice versa is just like we're in it that is i think that's any time where we make the same move and we either vocalize it or like you do something that I was about to do or vice versa is just like, we're in it. That is,

I think that's my favorite moment from Car Antlers 2? Or 1? I don't know. I don't remember. But whatever one it was. I think it was December 2020. It,

I love that episode because it was like the most dramatic improv we've ever done. Yeah. It was like a really dark drama. Other than that part because it was like the most dramatic improv we've ever done. It was like a really dark drama. Other than that part, it wasn't funny. It wasn't funny. It was sad.

It was just a story. It was just a story. All right. Are you ready for the last one? No, because I've been stalling because I'm sad as shit. Before we started recording this, we took a break between the episode before this and this. And I made a song to the tune of Final Countdown. I'm sad as shit.

Sad as shit. I'm sad as shit. I'm sad as shit. Sad as shit. I'm sad as shit. I am sad. Sad as shit. I'm sad I'm sad I'm sad I'm sad and then

and I was like I was like laughing but then I recognized oh wait that is to the tune of the final countdown that's so funny

I'm a sad ass I'm a sad ass I'm a sad ass I'm a sad ass alright number one I don't even know what it is I think you could guess number one of the 2022 Best of Review Review is...

Can I guess? Yep. Margaritaville? Margaritaville 2. George Saba. Before we go, before we play, before we play, I know I've already started a lot, spelled a lot. I want to say, I have a quick honorable mention

of one of my favorite... And mine is the same one. ...scenes from this year was from the Mulch episode. We don't have to play it, but the Mulch episode Pick It Up and Toss It. Toss It!

Toss It! Pick It Up and Toss It! I love Pick It Up and Toss It. That is for sure one of your, it's one of my favorites from this year, but I think it's one of my favorites from this year but i think it's one of your favorites of all time pick it up and toss it that shit was picking up and toss it i just love the story of this like ex-nfl player yeah there's one guy at a book

signing who like was fine to be there yeah like i don't think that's right well like so many like professional athletes also just like end up hosting and then just the idea of like i don't know like carmelo anthony ends up hosting a game show called pick it up and toss it where what is it you pick up your worries and toss them any negative feelings that you have and you toss it like a pigskin that is not effective and i think my favorite like part of it was that the crowd all had a hive mind, which is one of my favorite bits to do. Yeah.

And it's like also all of them, they only knew like five words total. Yeah. Toss it. Toss it. Or even like, why are we late? Yeah. Like everyone knowing the word at the exact same time. That shit will never not be funny to me.

I don't care in what context. That is the funniest thing in the world. It's time to pick it up and pass it. You guys all know the same words. How? I don't know. What do you remember from Margaritaville's 2? Oh my god. It's a pretty memorable record

for sure. Well, because I was going to say it's like we've done, I mean, by a mile more episodes on Zoom than we have in person. I mean, I think we can count them because we did the first 10 in person. We did one at your house in 2021. We did one in the studio this year. And then one in my place.

That's literally it. So that's 13 episodes. Out of like 170. Well, 15 now. Including these two. But 15 out like 170. Well, 15 now. Including these two. Yeah. But 15 out of 170. I remember you, me, and George Sava being on your bed. Yeah.

And drinking Negronis. Well, first we were drinking the disgusting. Horrible margaritas. And it wasn't even anyone's fault. It was just the mixer was shit. It was so bad. It was really disgusting yeah um i remember we watched the trailer to ticket to paradise right i remember i just remember having the i felt like

the vibe was very like i'm at a sleep like a slumber party sleepover party a slumber party sleepover party something different and i think of what i love about having george on and what i just so appreciate about george's comedy is that it's like we're silly and goofy george is like he's a mental patient yeah george is like i would say this is a high compliment george is the silliest person i've ever met which is great in improv in my real life i I'll come to him with an actual problem, and then he'll be like, well, just text him this. And it's the craziest thing I've ever heard.

And I'm like, I don't know why I talked to you about this. George is so fucking funny. And his love, his ardent love of Margaritaville. His genuine love of Jimmy Buffett Margaritaville. I got him a Jimmy Buffett Margaritaville vintage tee a long time ago. He still wears it on a weekly basis, like has nothing to do with the gift. It has to do with his love of Jimmy Buffett. That's incredible. I loved this episode.

This episode. I remember I don't even know what scene you're going to play because they were all crazy. And I just remember us like on your bed crying laughing. Like my stomach hurt from laughing so hard. And like I just, I'll never forget that. That was such a fun night. That was also my first time I saw Your New Place. Yeah. And the first time we recorded in person in forever.

So it was just like, that was just such. It was the first time that we recorded from a canyon. And I think that that kind of imparted itself. No, that wasn't. That didn't even do it. The walls of the canyon imparted their wisdom. Also, I saw this last episode. I'm wearing the same outfit.

Look at my child legs, my short fucking legs and socks. Anyway, let's play the app. Margaritaville 2 with George Saba. The number one fan voted episode of 2022. Not surprised. Good on you, George. Two stars. Honestly, the food is not as described.

It's not worth it. They put canned nacho cheese on your nachos and not enough dressing or items on top, and then they put on canned beans. We sent it back, and then she described a Cuban sandwich as huge, big, delicious. It was not. It was so tiny.

Honestly, it looked like a grilled cheese. Excuse me. Sorry. Just flagging you down really quick. It is my daughter's sweet 16th birthday and so we wanted to come here just for a special treat and we are ready to order but first I would love to hear the specials that you guys have

here at Margaritaville. Hello. I love to tell you. I love talking about the specials. We're talking to the right people, actually. We've done the right thing. You know what? I never expected two servers to come over to my table.

They're sort of a team because they don't trust either one of us on our own. You guys are so funny here. Honey, aren't they funny? Yeah, they're funny. Stop embarrassing me. Can we just order? No, we got to hear the specials.'t they funny? Yeah, they're funny. Stop embarrassing me. We just, can we just order? No, we got to hear the specials and they seem excited to give the specials. What are your guys' names?

Double Date? Is this a double date? I'm sorry. Between the four, among the four, is this a double date? We're just asking. We're rejected all the time, so it's fine. I'm 16 and he's your age.

First of all, please don't lean on the table. Well, I want to make sure you hear me. I hear you. I'm sorry I'm crying. This isn't just a startle. This isn't a double-dealing. I'm here with my daughter for her sweet 16 dinner

mom they're frightening me no honey they're frightening me too maybe we better we shut down no do not sit down I want different servers we need to put a two top together we are the employees of the month what we are the employees of the month.

What? We got employee of the month. You're really not going to get a better service than us. Can you please? God, you pulled up another table. Mom, can we leave? No, honey. This reservation took so long to get.

We're going to sit and we're going to eat. Gentlemen, can you please, please leave the table? I would like to request a different server, or else I'd like to talk to the manager. I guess we can get two different servers. We can get two different servers. I don't need two different servers. I need one competent server. We're gonna get two different servers.

Hello? Nah. I hear we have a good day. Is this a double date? No, it's just you guys in hats. Take those off. I know it's you.

You didn't change your faces at all. Well, I heard there was a 16th date. 16. I know it's you. I know it's the- 16 was my favorite birthday. It's how old I am. It's most recent birthday, and I'm whatever age you are.

Should we pull up a chair? Make it a six-star? Just in case the other two want to come back. You are the other two! I don't know why I'm continuing to do this, Ben. I know that it's you. You took the hats off. You're the same people.

Say, what do you want for your birthday? It's not my birthday. Mom, please stop making them talk to me. I don't know what else to do, honey. Sometimes the best birthday gift is a double date. Dreams really do come true, because we're on one.

I'm on a date with your mom. We've all been there. We've all been there. I drove a horse and buggy into the station. You want us to get to a different service? Yes! We seem like you guys are uncomfortable.

You cannot come back again. You can, you promise me. First time serving you? Promise you. Promise me, promise me that you will get to a different service. I see other people working around this restaurant I want I want to watch you go over tap other people on the shoulder and

direct them over to the table I do not want to see you over here again do we have a deal we'll get two different service walk away they kind of go around a corner so you don't see anything mom I don't understand why we can't just leave.

Dressed like the Blues Brothers. No! No! So here we have a birthday, sitting in this chair. Two different people, everywhere. Looks like the four of us are on a double date. That's when you have four different mates. I'm your age and he's 16.

And that's why we're gonna go off some steam. Woo! The specials are... We have a really special ranch. And we brought the jambalaya back. Take the jambalaya. With the ranch? Yeah, with the ranch. And what does she want for her birthday?

Double date? Just tell them whatever you want honey what will get them away from the table fastest I think if we just say we're on a double date we don't have to talk to them we don't have to look at them we can just keep the conversation between us okay that sounds good and

as long as we don't maintain eye contact with them, we can just get through the dinner fine. I'm so sorry that this is what the night turned out to be. No, Mom, you couldn't. No one could

have predicted that this is how the night was going to go. I'm sorry. You guys are taking kind of a while to order. If you guys could go and get two different customers. I said I wanted the dolls. You guys changed your mind? The other two do appear. No way! They didn't change their mind without talking to us first.

Yeah, we also thought we were out in double date And we're back to enjoy our double date with two smoking ladies and We want a date! And if you don't like just us two and you, I'll take a double date with all of us eight! Eight! Put me in the eye. What do we need to do to leave this table? Date all of us for a while. I'm for a while. I just like to be able to say I have a girlfriend.

I'm married and my daughter is 16. Why do you think I'm so desperate? Well, we're three 16-year-olds. Three of us are 16. We established that. And I'm your age. And I am too. And we're all not married.

So the fact that you're married and we're not, it's like, that's why we're so desperate. You know, because I always pictured having a family. Your breath is so hot. I know. I have a lot of sour cream and onion products. Where's your husband? I know that's weird for me, the 16-year-old house, but it's just sort of a morbid curiosity. He's on a business trip that he couldn't reschedule.

That's why. Yeah, he gets a lot of those. Yeah. What do you want? Look me in the eyes. I'm really uncomfortable ever since everyone here stopped. Look me in the eyes. He's,

um, he's in, uh, he's, he's in sports. Uh, he's a sports broadcaster. And so he, he has a sports broadcaster and so he he has to travel for work and watch

a lot of football games is it Mike Bream? is Mike Bream in the sports? that's really cool I'd love to be Eskimo Brothers with Mike Bream when I go to bed and I start to dream I think that my husband is

Mike Bream. He's not the only one. I also think my husband's Mike Bream. And it's a dream. I'm Mike Cream. Thinking about it right now. Must be awful lonely when your husband's away. Seems like the solution is a double date.

On her special day, she's 16 years 16, I'm 59? 45. Fuck! I also was going to say 59. I was going to say 90. Isn't it your ages? You said it's the same age. No, that's why I was gonna say it.

I'm 90. And you think I'm 90? I don't know. I didn't know. My favorite part about coming to work is being paired with a 90-year-old. I'm 60. Are all the waiters

like partners? Hey, Judd Apatow here. I left my keys here yesterday. I guess I lifted them. You say you guys were 90? I'm not 90. But you are. 16.

90s's interesting. Cut to the trailer. Paul Rudd. Leslie Mann. This is 90. Sorry, if we can pause the edit on this trailer. It doesn't tell me anything. It's just you, Judd.

Selfie camera. Just saying. Your friend, Ball Run, who hasn't signed any paperwork, your wife, and you just said this is an ID. And age, neither of them are. This, I want a proof of concept to take to Universal, all right? We hear you, we hear you. But the, I think when you're making a proof of concept to take to Universal. All right? We hear you. We hear you. But the, I think when you're making a proof of concept,

it would be helpful to see a little bit of the story. So what is the proof of concept? Yeah, it would be helpful to see proof of the concept. Because this is just a video of you, exactly what he said, that this is talking about your friends and this is 90. But there is no proof of concept. There is no concept.

That's not a concept. This is 40, right? Everyone loved that 40 right everyone loved that movie everyone loved everyone yeah as far as i knew if i could give a pitch of something you could add okay what if there was like a character who was sort of like mcfuckin i don't know if you guys believe in God. In God or God? God, yeah. But I literally had that same idea. McFuckin? Are you challenging me? I'm just clarifying. I'm not challenging.

Assistant to the director, I keep a track of all the things that are fireable that they do. Sure, as every good boss does. As everyone should. As every good boss does, yeah. Do you keep track of all of the things they do well? I know I just subtract bad things from the list when they do anything else. Well, would you call this a positive work environment today?

No. The past couple of weeks have been nice. But whenever he comes in here, whenever Judd comes in here, it is a different place and time entirely. Sure. Does that make sense? Yeah, I'm getting that. Do you guys know Maude Apatow? Your daughter? I'm just checking. Because I feel like she's famous now and that's pretty awesome.

Yeah, you're sort of an odd shill for your daughter. And now you have your own list. Whoa, hey now. That's not nearly as bad as how I've been laundering money from this editing bay. How much have you been laundering? You probably, your worth as a person.

Two callbacks. I have not laughed that fucking hard since we did the end. I think we're on a double date. That music. Daniel Ray must do Icon. And I'm your age. I don't even know. There's nothing else to say. I'm fucking...

I don't have a voice anymore. I was laughing so hard during that. We were cracking up, falling on the floor. Oh my god. George is a certified crazy ass. He's a crazy person. Just... Also, like, and Daniel Ramos adding the fucking he's a crazy person just also like

and Daniel Ramos adding the fucking song in makes it so much funnier but like in the room on the day it was just us going snapping just all it is is two guys talking

two guys talking like this and then the Blues Brothers. I love the difference of two guys talking like this, two guys talking like this. My favorite thing about work is that I, as a 16-year-old, was paired with a 90-year-old. Look me in the eye. Look me in the eye. Look me in the eye. I've been really uncomfortable ever since everybody suddenly stopped looking me in the eye.

Oh, my God. I love that bit and the other episode where it was like someone was gonna get fired and there was a whole list of all the shit they've done wrong you're already fired i do need to know how much money you laundered well it's probably equal to the amount of money you're worth as a person oh my god well now i really need to know george is a certifiable crazy ass and then I remember the second bit was like a long bit about. At the bar. Yeah, at the bar of like.

Oh, yeah. The bartender's considering. Tornado chaser. Yeah, the storm chasers and the bartenders separately. Like debating whether or not they should serve a minor blue carousel. Oh, my God. That's right. George was like an 18-year-old who's a storm chaser.

And Judd Apatow was there thinking about how famous his daughter is now and proud but also insecure. That was such a fun. Every episode with George, the two we've done, are unhinged. I thought Margaritaville's two was better than Margaritaville's one. Yes. And I thought Margaritaville's one was great. It was great. That scene, I just, I remember having the same reaction I had just now on your bed.

Yeah. There was, and also, like, I was worried about the sound because I was like, there's definitely gonna be microphone bleed. Daniel also probably fixed a lot of it. Daniel is a legend. Daniel Ramos. What a good year.

What a good year of improv. It's so funny. I am so sad. Oh, fuckamos. What a good year. What a good year of improv. It's so funny. I am so sad. Oh, fuck you. I am so sad. You piece of shit. It's so stupid. It's so stupid and so sad.

I can't believe. And I'm so like emotionally hungover. Oh, this song's making me cry like four and a half hours, basically. And we were laughing the whole time. My cheeks hurt. And I'm like underlyingly sad about the ending. It's distractingly loud. I don't want to like I want to get sappy. I don't want to get too sappy. I don't want to, like, I want to get sappy.

I don't want to get too sappy. I don't know how I feel right now. I guess it's like, I've often done things in my life in periods of three years. This is so funny. It's a comedy podcast. I graduated high school in three years. I graduated college in three and a half years. This has been another three years that has been so rewarding, so fulfilling.

Everything I've said, I mean from the bottom of my heart. And I think it's, you know, I think it's the right decision. But still in this, you know, when you think about everything we've done the past year, when the drums kick in, you know, when I think about the past year, it's like, that was awesome. When you take it as a three-year chunk, it's like, damn. Who both of us were when we started this and now. We're just different people. And I think for the better.

And I think we're better comedians. And we know so many more people. And my only regret is that we never got to do an in-person live show. But I'm sure you guys will. We'll do it and have you on as a guest. And we'd love to come on as a guest for part of it. But, yeah, I don't know if there's anything else to say. There's a world where we didn't get the opportunity.

There's a world where we just didn't do it. But that doesn't feel familiar to me. Like the only world that I know is the world where we just didn't do it and I but that doesn't feel familiar to me like the only world that I know is the world where we've done this show for the last now I'm feeling joy yeah which feels weird contrasting because you're you're crying it's all of it I'm so it's such ambivalence it's it's so sad and I'm so proud of us and I'm so excited for what's ahead for the show and for both of us and for you and just it's like it's all of it

it's like happy cry for like how proud I am of us and happy cry and sad cry for you leaving and happy cry for the future of the show with Alfred and just it's all of it and I just I love you so much I love you so much doing this show with you

I've said it before, I've said it a million times, is like having you as a co-host on the show, doing it with you, building this show with you, this community has been like one of the biggest joys of my life. And I'm so grateful.

I'm so, so grateful. And I'm so proud of you and I'm so excited. The community gets me because especially with the patreon i think even without the patreon we would have seen the support the patreon the patreon's going the patreon is going strong patreon.com slash riley and Jeff. We got a new subscriber this week. I know. And I hope more people subscribe to get more exclusive Riley and Jeff content because we're not going anywhere.

But. Nor the Hedgum sketches. Yeah. I'm really excited for next year. I think we should do. I have so many. The Hedgum sketches are like, we're leveling up. Yeah.

We're leveling up. Yeah. Just like the community aspect of it really gets me because I feel like that's just like, especially through the Patreon, like I said, like interacting with people so directly. Like those people are our friends now. Yeah. And they will be going forward too. But, you know, even some of the messages we were getting on Discord when we announced the shift was like people. I think we're a community of people who

speak the same comedy language and aren't often earnest i especially am not that earnest like you're pretty earnest as a person i think you balance that with comedy well but like the head gun podcast i'm like not even myself review i'm more myself but i still like to keep a level of privacy in my life i overshare maybe my life so just to take this moment to be earnest the people that we've met through this, the comedians, the guests the listeners also if this is too long or uninteresting

just turn it off, I'm just going to go off are just like incredible people and I think that's maybe what I'm most proud of with you is like, um, building this community of people. And like, we've all helped each other through things. Like the listeners have helped us through the pandemic, certainly doing the show with you and getting to see you on zoom once a week. I don't know how I would have gone through the pandemic without

this pandemic. And I think, you know, therapy language, both things can be true at once. Like, I'll miss it, but it still exists, and it will always exist. We'll miss you. Also, every episode is, you know, on the internet, so. Yeah. And we get to listen back to those.

Come on. We're going to make you guests so many times. Every week. Every week. Satan week. Satanly. Satanly. You just demoted. Yeah. I don't know. I guess I'm having trouble finding the words.

I wish it was more poetic. I just want to be raw on this episode. I'll miss it. And I'll miss doing it with you on a weekly basis. But yeah, we'll keep doing it. You'll come on the HeadGum Podcast. We'll do the sketches. Yeah, we'll just miss you.

Yeah. But the other side of the ambivalence is the excitement, I think, to, you know, see what the next phase of things are creatively. And, like, we're doing the sketches again. Like, how can we push that more? And we already have. I think people have noticed it, which isn't, I mean, we're writing them the same as we were before.

I think we just have a great production team around them. But it's like, oh, like now I have, like, an extra day free in my schedule to really, like, push the envelope of the Hedgum sketches, to, like, write longer form projects and see if anything else can happen there. So, you know, it's the sadness and it's the excitement. And I'm holding both to be true.

And we'll see. We'll see what happens. But we got three full years in there. And we have a lot to be proud of. And we have plenty more to go. Yeah. But, yeah, a lot to be proud of in our three years with this show. Yeah.

If you're still listening listening you're a day one of the new regime holy shit it's a fascist show I feel like I was telling Daniel this that I feel like

coming up through HeadGum and then like starting the show together I don't know about you but for me certainly i haven't gone to like theater school and everything it's like not feeling super confident in like this world and like finding my footing like i felt very much like i saw the two of us or i felt like my identity was like us as a unit as like the two of us as a unit and like very much like a co-dependency to the idea of two of us as a unit. And I feel like the growth as in, like, now, like, the two of us as, like, really on, like, solid ground, like, individual comedians, like, doing this thing.

Like, that we can work together, like, on our own footing. At least for me, like, just how I feel going through this. Like, I will say I. That I feel, like, very strong in my own footing and like to be able to come to working with you and all these things confident in my own self and I don't think I would have been able to do that without coming up through this with you and making this with you. I don't know if that had made any sense.

But I'm just really excited and I'm really grateful and I'm sure once this all ends and the music cuts out and it's not funny anymore, I'm gonna start sobbing. But I love you so much. I love you too.

And I think we should do our last segment. There are probably thousands of people watching this being like, fuck off. Like, who cares? It matters to us. Yeah. It matters to us.

But it matters to me. This shook me all week long. Oh, my God. Riley, what's been shaking you? I'm going to pick something that isn't this. What's shaking me is fucking my mom for Christmas sent Daniel and I a Zabar's basket of food. That's cool. And that's been delicious.

There were like two packets of smoked salmon in it. We're, I think, three quarters of the way through done with the second one. When did you get it? Two days ago. We fucking like wolfed that shit down. Bagels, salmon, coffee, cream cheese, and cinnamon roogla. Oh, the roogla is so good.

I have been... I never had it before I went there. It's incredible. So that's what's been shaking me, is that that's been my breakfast the past few days. I fucking love bagel and lox. That's one of my favorite foods,

favorite dishes ever. And so getting to have Zavar's bagel and lox at home is been it's you just had a transcendental experience it's incredible with like little capers on top it's that's what's been shaking me that shit's so good zavars is incredible yeah how about you i guess what's been shaking me is that um i just turned 25 and maybe that's what's shaking me is that i'm 25 and it's a quarter life crisis. It might just be that. But it's like,

oh shit, like you're firmly an adult. You're in your mid-20s. You're 25 years old. You're mid-20s. But it's like, your life is what you make of it and if you have goals,

you gotta go for them. And I think, and that could be anything, not just professional, I guess. Also like personally and like, this is so dumb but like sartorially I used to be like so self-conscious about like wearing crazy clothes now I'm like

I'm gonna wear the crazy clothes I'm gonna grow my hair out so I guess what's shaking me is like I'm 25 and I like I think I'm a realized version of who I wanted to be when I was like 22 uh and then now that I'm 25 it's like who do I want to be at 30? And I feel like I'm putting into action things that will get me to that point, hopefully. So what's shaking me is the fears surrounding being 25 and the excitement surrounding being 25. Yeah, that checks out. That's what I meant to say.

That checks out. I have that same crisis every single year I get older. Yeah, it's fucking scary. And I used to be like, most of my friends are older than me so i'd be like you're 26 shut up like you're young like but i'm starting to get it a little bit because i've always been the youngest person in the room because like i graduated high school early and then had older friends even before that so it's like it's so easy to be the youngest person in

the room and be like why are you guys freaking out but then once you're not the youngest person in the room and be like, why are you guys freaking out? But then once you're not the youngest person in the room, which, you know, the panic sets in, I guess. But yeah, what's shaking me is I'm 25. I'm excited to see what the next five years have to hold. Hell yeah. Yeah. Good and bad. I'm looking forward to the negative shit, too.

Because the negative shit of the last five years also shaped me into who I am. Yeah. That was a really earnest what shook me. I don't know if any of it made sense. It did. Okay, good. Not. The whole city goes crazy.

Claire Slaughter bursts through the door. You quit. You left the network. This moment is on the best of next year of making a not joke. It did not. Number two. Like not number one where it's like, okay, well, that's impossible. It is number two, though.

You can find Jeffrey on Instagram at Jeffrey James on Twitter at Jeff. You can find the show on Reddit, r slash review review, Twitter, review review show, and Instagram review review. And you can find our new co-host, Alfred Bradwell Evans, on Instagram at AlfredInnit, I-N-N-I-T. And you can follow Riley on Instagram, at Riley Anspaugh. On Twitter, Riley Coyote. And, well, I was just going to plug Alfred's stuff, but we plug each other's stuff. So I can't be like, don't follow me, follow Alfred. But don't follow either of us.

Follow Alfred. Well, I mean, if you want to give me a follow. Follow Riley and Alfred. I won't say no. I won't remove follower. Should we thank some podcasts? This is for the last time. Again, so this is the last time that we're going to read the podcast's name on the show because Jeff's leaving.

And so for Alfred and I to do it, it's because it's Jeff and my Patreon. And that was a Patreon perk. But don't let that fool you. The Patreon is still going strong with our monthly Zardes and Q&As. And we're going to figure out some more perks and bonus shit. Also, half the people didn't change their names for like a year at a time. It's all good. We'll come up with a better perk. Patreon.com slash Riley and Jeff.

Thank you to hashtag Game Pass. The best deal in gaming is now available on the Xbox Series X or Series S. Christian side hug so he can hug two people simultaneously. Agent Michael Skarn. Nope, Agent Mr. Skarn. Agent Mr. Skarn. Aggie. A co-will not back down without a fight.

Jeff will apologize to her on air, or this entire fucking show has been for naught. Bob, you... You know what? No. Here we go. Ako! Ako Sarfo. I, Jeffrey James. I'm sorry. For everything.

Not that. Bob Buell, a.k.a. the squirtster kid, and I'm sorry, if I can go off script, my birthday is December 28th, so buy me stuff. Cam is spozy, that's spooky and cozy because it's October, baby. Carol Fisher. Chuck. Curbature presents Jeffrey James' farewell tour. Daddy Tuesday night is swangin' that thang in honor of passing the torch.

Bye or whatever. Damien Kirk would like to reiterate, perhaps for the final time, that he has never had sex and is 30. Don't you forget it, Jeff. Disgusting. This one's just the C word. I'm not gonna read that. No, yeah, I will. Catty.

Elvis Wesley. So it's Elvis, but with a British accent and just a fucking butler, I guess. Fancy Octopus is submitting and dominating. A jack of all aids. Follow my cat on Instagram. You have to find me at yourself, though. No handouts, fucks. Grey's bringing back the gimmick.

His new name is Grey Overwhelming Force, a.k.a. The Destroyer, a.k.a. Big Balls McGee. Happy Halloween. It's October. I eat spaghetti and meatballs. It's like spaghetti and meatballs, but instead of noodles, I eat the sun. I'm Riley Anspaugh,

and have you ever heard of the new show, The Office? You know, John Krasinski's kind of a zaddy. I'm going to say it. If spaghetti and heat balls substitutes noodles for the sun,

then you're just eating the sun in whatever heat balls is. It sucks that this might be the last Connor Finnegan Patreon name I hear. He should have at least put some effort in it.

Jackson, Mississippi is definitely my real name. Maybe not, though. Boy, did I pick a swell time to finally upgrade. Jake Ullman. James Wagner murdered someone in 2013 and is finally admitting it to the FBI. Come get his ass.

Jeffrey Games. Jeff's evil but playful twin. Jesse Tipton. Joe, and for lack of a better term, well, Malasov. JP again. Okay, Jeff leaving to explore new opportunities outside the fam. Who do you think you are?

Steve from Blue's Clues or my dad? Caleb forgot to change his name. Whoops. Casper Bopasper. Kelly Ann, Khan, Wayne, Randy, new Manfred, Man Hathaway, and a Man Journey in Bert. Here's what I don't understand. I don't know who Wayne Randy is. I don't think that's a real person, so it's not actually a portmanteau.

Oh, Main Journey in Bert. I get it, like a holiday thing and a Main Journey in Bert. Okay. Oh, I also didn't get that's a real person, so it's not actually a portmanteau. Oh, main journey in Burt. I get it. Like a holiday thing and a main journey in Burt. Okay. Oh, I also didn't get that part. Kevin Williams. Let's play a game of Keber Have I Ever. I'll go first. I have to wonder if it's always been Dakota Keber, and we've said Keber

the whole time. Let's play a game of Keber Have I Ever. I'll go first. Lord Hunter the Ordained. Michael Beggle. Mo Ho Ho Pete. Wishes a happy holiday season to everyone in the Jeff and Riley Cinematic Universe. My Bond of the Week is my mother. Because if you're more Bond than the Bond you have with your mom. Go ahead, I'll wait. My name is Austin Hall and Jeffrey Aaron James has forcibly sounded me with glow sticks for the past 12 months.

Nate Portia says hi to Christina who's now listened to every episode. New patron. No, not a new patron. No, for real this time. Nolan Murphy is excited to see the future of the show, now that there will be more than one funny host. Pete Bradford cracked his tooth on a Christmas cookie sprinkle while writing this. You've been warned. Puff Riley.

Raven Schmaven. Riz, Jeffrey will never mispronounce my name again. Bergman. Thank you, Jeff. Good luck on your next step. TJ Michael. Ty Samby's wet and wild senior strip Uno night. No condoms, no cares, no commitments.

Every Thursday at 700 park crescent that might be my favorite name ever vivian of ultimate evil and you're telling me that in like three episodes i'll be advertising my food truck to an even smaller group of people great shout out jamie jameson poncia thank you to all of our podcasts. If you want to hang out with us more, patreon.com slash Riley and Jeff. And thank you to the past couple years of patrons for sending in the most amazing names for us to read.

I mean, so many incredible ones. This will come out December 27th, I think, but when we're recording this, theirs is already tomorrow. So that shit's still happening. And it's a ton of fun so patreon.com forward slash Riley and Jeff keep hanging out with us I'll see you next time I'll see

you next week with Alfred and I'm so excited to get things kicked off for this new phase of review or two um Alf is so excited we're both so excited it's gonna be great um and we'll miss Jeff I'm listening in next Tuesday y'all should so excited it's gonna be great um and we'll miss jeff i'm listening in next

tuesday y'all should as well it's gonna be great and for one final time with jeffrey arriveder that was a hit gum original