Review Revue - Briefs

Episode Date: February 8, 2022

This week Geoff and Reilly read reviews on BRIEFS and discuss their weird age gap, get kicked out of poker night, and get back together.    Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjames Twitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardee <><> Edited by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. And participating restaurants for a limited time. This is a HeadGum Original. Elizabeth, go to sleep

Hush, oh, Elizabeth There's an end to every dream And I know that your pillow doesn't seem like it's much. I know you'd rather work with him, feel excited and touched. But Elizabeth, go to sleep. Oh, Elizabeth Elizabeth You gotta change your locks, Riley. Sleep

You have to, you're in present dire danger, I'm sorry to say. Who sent that in? Just by simply proximity to Elizabeth Valenti. That was Spencer. It's called Valenti's Lullaby. I am at a loss. I That was Spencer. It's called Valenti's Lullaby.

I am at a loss. I, I, Elizabeth. Sorry. Yeah. Someone sent in a theme song for someone who's been on the show thrice? Twice. Twice. Twice. He wanted to plug his, he's an essayist.

He looks kind of hot, actually. It's spencer-wilkins.com. He, I mean, my God, he has a pretty impressive resume. Spencer, I, this really, Elizabeth's not home right now. And that's great. I should tell her to not come back and we should figure something out for her safety. I'm so excited to share this with her. To know that the power that she holds in the lore of Review Review. That she is getting her own theme song for our show.

Yeah. It's a beautiful thing. Haunting. It's a haunting rendition. Haunting. Well, haunting in many ways, right? Haunting in the way that it's a haunting rendition and also haunting in the way that I think we're being haunted by Spencer. He is ghastly. He is ghastly. He is ghastly.

He is ghastly. He is ghastly. Ghost-lighted? So that's where, like, basically a ghoul lies to you and makes you think you're crazy that's when spencer tells me that he's not checking in on elizabeth's sleeping habits but then sends a theme song telling her to sleep more that's when spencer tells you he's not a ghost ghost yeah i definitely haven't done that I haven't done that in a minute. It felt good.

It felt, well, me. Healthy. It felt healthy. Riley, what's new with you? Is it moonlight in LA? Is it moonlight in LA? Is it nighttime there? Is it nighttime?

I was going to say only. I'm three hours behind you. So for me, it's 1 15 PM. So no, the moon is not out. It's middle of the day. It was worth an ask.

It was worth an ask. I don't think it was. I think if you only had one question, that was a waste. Um, there's no stupid questions, but that was a wash and a waste. Um,

what's new with me, speaking of dreams, I had an amazing dream that I shared with jeffrey the other day and i dreamt amazing in the true sense of the world amazing in so many ways i had this dream no that jeff and i had a double wedding and it was so much fun. Right. And to be clear, a double wedding isn't a thing.

So when you texted me that, I had to clarify. Yeah, Jeff clarified he goes a double date. I'm like, in a way, but much more serious than that. I had a dream that Jeff, for whatever reason, we decided to get married at the same place on the same day at the same time. And, but, but Daniel and then whoever you were marrying, I didn't see them. They were waiting at the altar for us to walk down the aisle. Right, so why would I walk down the aisle with you? But in my dream, like, Elizabeth was documenting the day and, like, getting ready.

Vlogging, yeah. And, like getting ready and like everyone like you know getting all pretty getting nice and it was this like giant beautiful venue and she suggested to me she's like you should go and like steal a moment away with jeff to really like savor this special day that's not what it's about right no way i pulled you aside i'm like hey can we like have a second you're like of course and we just like have a second? You're like, of course. And we just like look at each other. We're like, ah. This is psychotic.

And we gave each other like the biggest hug. Yes. That's so funny. We gave each other the biggest hug. And we're like, I can't believe we get to share this special day together. And I'm like, I'm so happy for you. And you're like, I'm so happy for you. And I'm like, we're never gonna forget this

the thing is you're a you're you're already so much closer to marriage than i am that's number one number two your weddings are already emotionally and spiritually tricky because in terms of sharing the wealth sharing the health you have to share your day with your family and so then we're already cutting the cake fractionally another we're having it all it was really special and i woke up before we made our way down the aisle um but it was so insane and i loved it. Where was it? Do you remember where it was? No, I remember now that you mention it, I think it was Wichita. We've always

wanted to be led in Wichita. No, I remember you and I, we had our moment like we had it outside and there were cherry blossoms outside but it was a little cold. I think it was like an early spring. It was early spring.

And the best man was Nikita. Patreon.com forward slash Riley and Jeff. And that there was no best man because Nikita doesn't exist. Yeah, Nikita is not. And the ring bearer forgot the rings. So that's what's new with me. What's new with thee? Moving house after this from one neighborhood in Brooklyn to the next.

Mr. Worldwide. I'm all packed up. No. I'm prepared. No. No. I'm not. You are really living the holiday fantasy.

Well, it's actually more of a nightmare on, I mean, I don't want to say what street it is. Because I don't like the stress of being nomadic. Are you finding that out now? No, because I don't know. Ask me again next week. You will be living in a different continent next week. I might have to do a year in Greenland.

Might have to? Just because I want to see what it's about. I might stop by Montana on the way back to LA. Or Big Sur. I haven't figured it out. I might have to contractually obligate myself to a year in Greenland because I'm interested in visiting once. There was some legal hubbub in terms of me not going for just a week

and it ended up being a year. It was either a week or a year. I'm sorry to say. I figured I wanted to get the most out of it, so I picked a year. Yeah. Because I feared that a week wouldn't give me the locals experience.

So I'm going to stay for a birthday. A year. A fucking solar cycle. But we're not here to talk about my travels, if you want to call them that. Or our future double wedding. Right. I asked Daniel really quick.

You would have to wait. You would have to wait like another eight years. I asked Daniel. I'm like, Daniel, if, you know. No way you even posed this to him. I would be so upset. What would you do? I'm like, what would you actually do if we got married?

But I was like, hey, this is really important important to me i want to share this day with jeff like how would you feel like double or nothing like we we need to do a double double or what do you mean double or nothing double wedding or not at all um no i'm like we need to do a double like and i'm like what would you actually do like how, what would your response be? And he thought for a second. And I'm actually shocked he played along. It's insane he even gave it a, yeah, more than 20 seconds. And he's like, I think I'd be more open to it

than you'd think I would be. I'm like, really? And he's like, well. I guess we're splitting the costs. Well, he's like, because I don't care. So if it's really important to you that you do this and we just have one big party, like, fuck it. Party, yeah. Ceremony is what bothers me.

No, that's the best part. To walk down the aisle with you would be insane to see. And there's gonna be so many people in the audience who's like, who is that? So many people that I know in my family doesn't know who you are and vice versa. Oh my god. And it's like,

Daniel, do you take Riley? Oh, no, hold on. Sorry. And Jeff, do you take... Train tracks to be your lovely wedded wife. Okay, but I'm sorry. We're not here to talk about our future double wedding that we're going to have

and we're contractually obligated to have at this point. I really don't think so. We both need to throw the bouquet at the same time. What I need is in time of, you know, after even having the conversation about a double wedding, I need some support. Of course. And what better article to provide it. There's no better.

Than, say it with me, Ainspa. Briefs. Briefs. Brief me on your experience with briefs. In brief, briefs. In brief, we're going to talk about briefs. Brief me on your experience with briefs. In brief, briefs. In brief, we're going to talk about briefs. I'm not as familiar with women's underwear as one might hope. As one might assume you are.

Assume I am, yeah. But I know women have briefs, but do they call them something else? I have some briefs from MeUndies, and they are very soft. They're wonderful. They make me feel loved, supported. They make me feel like I can take on the world. No, they're very comfortable. I love a brief.

I mean, it's like I'm not wearing any kind of underwear for support. I'm wearing bras for support. But it's like that's not something that I'm looking for. So for me, it's just like,'s not something that I'm looking for. So for me it's just like oh these briefs are really soft. And comfortable. So it really barely has any effect for me. It really doesn't matter.

I cannot stress this enough. I cannot stress it enough. That unless it's a thong. I'll get along. I'm not in any throngs. No it's a thong. I'll get along. I'm not in any throngs. No, it's wonderful because briefs, I find, are extremely comfortable for me. Yeah. For briefs. But what about you?

Because you were like, I haven't worn briefs since. Because I told Daniel we were doing briefs and he's like, boxer briefs or briefs? I'm like, briefs. That's the thing. Briefs. Yeah, brief briefs. Brief briefs and he's like boxer briefs or briefs like brief that's the thing yeah brief briefs brief briefs um it's hard you know because you don't you have to find the perfect balance of swing in that thing

so you want to make sure like in my experience boxers are not enough support which i don't even know what that means necessarily but it's kind of a feeling. Briefs are too much. It's like compressing... Is it like Spanx? My Johnson. Spanx for your junk? Boxer briefs are ideal.

Boxer briefs are ideal, and that's what I wear. Why? What's the difference in feeling? I don't know. I mean, honestly, I haven't worn briefs in so long that I couldn't even tell you the feeling. Because aren't boxer briefs... I mean, I know you're shocked, but my knowledge of men's...

Or just undergarments that aren't... Boxers and briefs and stuff like that, it's not wide. But aren't boxer briefs just longer briefs? Like a boxer and briefs? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I meant to get some boxers before this episode to wear on this episode, but in the hecticness of moving, I haven't had a chance. So what I might do is do a follow-up next week wearing some briefs.

I don't know. I think it's maybe that you feel more exposed. The boxer briefs provide support, comfort where it matters and also frames that ass in such a way. Briefs. Just so. Also, I don't like feeling like my

gams against my jants. So I would rather have that little bit of fabric to like, I don't know what it is though. I'm feeling fabric, I'm feeling my gams against my jants as we squeak. See, I don't like that at all.

I've never known anything different. You should get some boxer briefs. No. All right, all right. Very good, very good. Let's do this then. Let's talk about briefs, baby. Let's talk about reviewing.

Do you want to start us off? Oh, Jeffrey, I'd love to. You know me. You know me, dude. And that's why we're having a double wedding and giving each other away. We're not. We're not. You're going to get.

Yeah. I'm going to be single for so long. We've moved from us for for sure from you for sure helping me throw my bachelorette party whenever that happens to now we're getting married at the same time on the same no no you've moved there no you've moved there because i want a subtle small honestly shitty wedding where the guests are like no open bar and i'm like i'm sorry to say but like this isn't your day and even i wanted an open bar but i'm like no it has to be shittier than that that's what i'm that's what i'm saying okay uh let's hear your first reviews from uh We... Sorry. Sorry. We are... We arepa?

We arepa? We are... We are... We arepa. We arepa. We arepa. W-I-R-A-R-P-A. We are... We arepa?

We are... We arepa. Let's get the fucking review. Okay. Underwear microfiber waistband underpants that come in a set. Five stars. I love their title. If you want to give them an alternate name, you can.

But it's... I like Y-ARPA. Okay, great. It's from Y-ARPA. Five stars. The title is, I've never wanted a crack-hugging hugging string or thong but i don't like old man whitey tighties either and here's the review soft fitting not a damned g string or a crack

hugging beach thong oh happy days my cheeks are my own and not for public exposure. These hold things where they ought to. And believe it or not, cover my ass. Both sides. I ordered another set. Nice. That's one of my favorite reviews phonetically I've ever heard. My cheeks are my own.

Beach thong. And they hold things where they ought to and believe it or not cover my ass if you can believe it both sides can you believe that these little things

cover both sides of my ass yeah sir um again you feel free to try these on but you cannot exit

your stall of the dressing room I just I gotta get a better look under, I mean, you have such incredible lighting in these changing rooms. They're fluorescent overheads. I'm, like, getting into a squat. Woo! Oh! Even like this?

No, no, no, no, no. You don't have to avert your eyes from my thighs, because even like this, you can't see a damn thing. My cheeks are my own, and they will be till my dying day. So these are, God. You know, Trevor, I've never seen anything like these before. You got a pair of these at home?

I wear boxer briefs, sir. Boxer briefs? Yes. Why did you say mm like that? I feel like they're good for me. Oh, that's great. They great support but they also cover my thighs which i kind of like i was like you 15 minutes ago before i put these briefs on so you've never won briefs until just now i was like you once not too long ago you haven't even bought them yet

you're still like me and i thought that life would be one way when it could actually be a different way than that all i'm'm saying, man, look, you're gonna make your own decisions, but you should really, I mean, I bet you of all people, you could get a discount. You could get, that's interesting. You could get a discount. Yes, I work at the store,

so I could get a discount from Nordstrom. Yes, correct. You could get a discount. All right, I'll think about it. Does that make you happy? I'll think about it. You know what it does. You're doing this. No, it makes me happy I'll think about it. You know what it does.

You're doing this. No, it makes me happy. You're changing from boxer briefs to briefs. Congratulations. I take off my shirt. Now I'm just wearing the briefs. Okay. This is borderline against the law.

The fact that you're- This is, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Hey, I'm just glad that I'm the only one in here right now. So I'm going to use that time to my advantage. I am just having the best time. And you know it's... Because of the briefs, that's it?

Well... You said life could be one way, but you expected to go one way. And I'll tell you, Trevor. This might come as a surprise to you. Bet it won't be. I don't have many buddies. There you go.

And I see the wife, she's always going out with her hens, always clucking around. I don't know if you should say that. That's kind of sexist. Those hens, just with their girl talks. And you want some roosters, I guess.

Well, they always go shopping together. And the wife, the missus, comes back and she tells me she'll buy a great dress and she'll be like, yo, my girlfriends, I tried it on and they gave me feedback i don't have anybody well i mean already just having an audience has really upped my self-esteem so if i were to try for making friends is don't don't treat strangers that you're trying to be friend as an audience because that is like a one-sided conversation instead of like listening to what people are saying and even right now you're kind

of like staring at me blankly i don't think you're listening no i said okay before i finished no no no no what i am taking it in um that's what you do for a living interesting is it something like really exciting or is it something i'm in customer service so what's interesting about that is that i'm talking to people all day long people all'd think that it's like I'd talk to so many people. I'd have so many friends. But they just come and go. Sorry. I'm so sorry to keep nitpicking the nitty gritties of everything you're saying.

You think that the reason I would assume that you'd have a ton of friends is because you work in customer service. Well, I mean, I could be... Those aren't friends. I'm talking to people non-stop. I have the opportunity to make friends. Yeah, you can make friends with anyone you meet. What about you? Do you seem like a guy who has a lot of friends, Trevor?

I don't have too many friends, but I have a group of five really close friends. What? We do everything together, yeah. What? Five? We do poker nights. We do... How did you meet those?

Did you meet those guys through work? Because you're helping out people? No, three of them are from high school and two of them are from college. And then they kind of all met each other, yeah. That's so cool, man. You're so lucky. You're a lucky guy. I'd love to meet them sometime.

Do you have a Nordstrom rewards card? I do, but you know what? I'm going to keep it in my pocket for now. Why? Because I'd like to, you know, when else am I going to get a chance to get this kind of time with you know what? I'm going to keep it in my pocket for now. Why? Because I'd like to, you know, when else am I going to get a chance to get this kind of time with you, man? I'd love for you to check out.

I'd love for you to check out. You know what? That's a great idea, because then once we're done with the business, it can be all personal. So here's my Nordstrom's Rewards card. Got it. Swiped it faster than anyone's ever swiped.

Whoa, you're really good at your job, man. How long have you been doing this? A couple years? Here you go. Thanks so much. Thank you're really good at your job, man. How long have you been doing this? A couple years? Here you go. Thanks so much. Thank you. Wow. Okay, great. We got that out of the way. So what are you doing later? Clocking out soon?

I wasn't supposed to, but yeah, maybe I'll clock out soon. You're not supposed to, but now because we're going to hang out. Not to hang out. To get out of here. What are we doing tonight, man? Not to hang out. To to hang out. Not to hang out. To get out of here. To get out of here. What are we doing tonight, man? Not to hang out. To get out of here.

Oh, yeah. Let's get out of here. Let's get out of here. Alone. Trust me. To get away from you. In five minutes, you've irritated me beyond belief. I'm so sorry, Trevor.

Sorry, there's a helicopter outside the Nordstroms, I hear it. Trevor, I'm so sorry. All I was doing was getting excited about new clothes and trying to make a friend. And if that's annoying or if that's bad, well, then lock me up and throw away the key. Fuck. Okay, fine. You can come to a poker night. Cut to the next poker night. Hey, everybody.

This is somebody I met at Nordstrom. Don't know him very well. My name is Alan. It's so... I've heard the best things about you from Trevor. Trevor has just gassed you guys up. You guys are like the coolest homeboys this side of the Mississippi. I can't do this. I'm sorry, Trevor. I'm gone.

I'll see you guys again next week. Don't invite this guy again. There's something about him. What did I do? You suck. What? You suck. You suck. I'm sorry. He's...

He retried. All I did is talk about how cool you guys are. How much your friend loves you and is grateful for your friendship. And if that's illegal, then lock me up and throw away the key.

Lock you up and throw away the key. Lock you up and throw away the key. Fine, fine. Let's just play. How do you play poker? Got it. Yeah, never mind. Let's do something else or leave. All right, should we take a quick break?

Yeah. and we're back right back back again again guess who's back backstreet um all right this is a five-star review. Of? Unbelievably good. Of Fruit of the Loom men's tag-free cotton briefs. From? Amazon customers, so it's all the way. Alvin Chipmunk.

Alvin Chipmunk, five stars. The title is Look Terrible, Feel Great. I never, ever thought I'd be back in Fruit of the Loom tighty-whities, but here I am. Tried everything else. Trunks, boxers, boxer briefs, and somehow found my way all the way back here 18 years later i completely forget they're on during the day they're thin breathable and offer some support while keeping

everything in place without sticking to your leg they don't ride up and are comfortable for sleeping too while being seen in them isn't ideal because they look a bit funny, they offer too much comfort to turn down. Jackson, thank you so much for meeting me today. Can I get you a coffee

or anything? You want anything before we sit down? I'm good. I mean, you know, unless you were getting something. Oh, it's okay. We don't have to.

We can just get right to it um i can't believe it's been what 10 11 years since college yeah my god we had the best best times um yeah and you know i i obviously i think it goes without saying that I am so sorry for how things ended. And, you know, I felt. No, I mean, well, it's not. You know, I am. I don't think I ever really apologized. I was so immature the way I handled things. And no, I mean, it was all those years ago.

We were all learning. We were all learning how to be adults and how to be in relationship. That's very generous. That's very kind. I poured a glass of milk on you while you were asleep because I thought you made eyes at my roommate. It's, you know what, we're still learning. It's all right.

I actually forgot about that part. Well, that's great. That's great. Let's skip the details because I feel like I've done a lot of years of therapy. Yeah, well, me too. I've done a lot of learning and living and loving in my own way. But I, God, I don't know how else to say it.

So here it goes. It's always been you. And I would be remiss if at this time in our lives, we didn't give it another shot. Because there's just something, you know, I've dated around, and there's just no one, I haven't found that comfort quite like you, Jackson. And I miss you. This is so confusing, Becca.

I mean, I haven't seen you in what, 10 years? Yeah. You come back in my life. By the way, I forgot the milk thing. So I think you shouldn't have mentioned that in pitching maybe us getting back together or trying again. But that was just, I was, it was me bringing it up because I'm a, yes, I change and I have apologized for that. So when was the last time you threw milk on someone? Let's just make sure that I was the last one.

The last time I threw milk on someone. And it wasn't me. Through or poured? someone let's just make sure that last time i threw milk on someone and it wasn't me through or poured either way because either way is pretty violent and dairy-based okay either way um well that was i'm hoping you're thinking because it was a while ago it was well i'm trying to think of like because it was justified so okay so it was this past St. Patrick's Day, but it was more justified than you would think. So 10 months ago. It was 10 months ago.

What happened? Oh, Jackson, we don't need to get into all this. The past is the past. My milk throwing is done. What happened was I was seeing someone. Sorry. Cut to this. Honey, I just wanted to give you a heads up.

So I'm going to Vegas for Peter's bachelor party. It's going to be super fun. I promise no strip clubs. We're not going to do anything that would make you uncomfortable, obviously. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but I'll call you and everything. It'll be great. I promise no strip clubs. We're not going to do anything that would make you uncomfortable. Obviously what state, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but I'll, I mean, I'll,

you know, I'll call you and everything. It'll be great. Milk. Oh, cut back. Yeah. So it was more of like a preventative milk.

It was a preventative milk. No, because you don't trust him. If anything, he probably went and did something, right? Well, because you threw milk in his eyes.

No, no, no, no, no. He probably went and he was probably planning on doing something all right it doesn't matter it doesn't matter what i'm saying is like well how does it matter it has nothing to do with us it has nothing to what you told me when we were in college you told me that you wanted to spend the rest of your

life with me yeah but that was like that was college we were young and dumb i have like a life now i work at stouffer's it's a good job it's not great but i have it it's mine that's wonderful that's wonderful and i work i work at claire's i pierce kids ears and so that's you know again like it's it's it's it's whatever but it's mine and i feel like the hairs on the back of my neck are already going up because you're saying you pierce you pierce kids ears for a living I can't help but feel like you'll use that against me I feel like you'll pierce my ears at the slightest insecurity

but I also run retail if they want to buy earrings or buy cheap makeup kids but ask me this have you ever used your skills in piercing ears to pierce ask you this? no riddle me this answer me this have you ever abused the power of knowing how to pierce someone's ear on a partner?

Have you pierced a partner's ear against their will? I feel like you've backed me into a corner. You should not have to think about it. I already got the answer then. Of course you have. When was that? Have you unlearned things? Was it over 10 months ago?

I have unlearned. It was exactly 10 months ago to the day. So I don't know if that Was it over 10 months ago? I have unlearned. It was exactly 10 months ago to the day, so I don't know if that counts as over 10 months ago. The fact that you know to the day is bothersome, too, because that means that you're actively having to work against doing these. That's why, like, it's why we didn't work out in college. It's why we work out now, I don't think. We did not work out in college because I was piercing you against your will.

I lift my shirt up. There's scars on my nipples. You didn't even do it right. You kept them. I didn't. I couldn't take them out. May I? No.

Oh, sorry. It's just you're just as beautiful as I remember. Give me one reason, justifiably, not violent, why we should get back together. I don't even need to think about this one. Love. You love me? Love conquers all, Jackson.

You know that better than anyone. And I do. I never stopped. I never stopped loving you. And yes, I've thrown a few milks. And yes, I, primal, animalistic, feral love. And you can't look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel the same. Look me in the eye and tell me honestly that after all these years, you haven't thought about what it would be like for us to finally be together. All right. I have admit, I've thought about you from time to time, but-

I knew it. And I agree. I think love conquers all. I think it's the most powerful force in this world, Becca. Yes, yes. I do just want to say one thing, though. I want to clarify one thing. Of course, anything.

Are you saying you love me now? Because what I want to express is that I have definitely fallen out of love with you, but I still would like to get to know you a little bit. And, you know, we could see where this could go, but just right now, I don't love you. Just because I have to get to know you again, you know? Is that okay?

You have to get to know me. You don't love me right now. Well, we just have so much to catch up on, is what I'm trying to... What are you... You're reaching for your bag. This is... Please.

Milk and a piercing gun. No. Please. The piercings are little glasses of milk. Please, please, please, please, please. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Of course. Both your nips.

Did it right this time, huh? No. You did it insanely strange. But at least I got it through. I'm done. Give me one more chance. No. Okay, okay. All right, all right. That makes sense. No! Okay, okay.

All right, all right, that makes sense. No, I get that. That's not what I do understand. All right, should we do one more review? This is for, again, We're Arpa. We're Arpa. They did two? Oh, not the same person. That's the brand, that's the brand.

Yeah, it's four stars from Densel K. What? Like Stensel but Den? Or Pencil but Den. Densel, let's think about this. Densel Crashville. So it's like Nashville, but you kind of got in a car accident. Denszel Crashville

makes me think of Crash Bandicoot okay, five star, oh sorry, four stars the title is almost a five star the first thought was this is how a woman feels when she transitions from sexy panties to granny panties the fit is very large and much more of a brief style than I like,

but the comfort's beyond compare. They're extremely soft and it's easy to forget that you even have them on. Most of the time, a large size is very binding on me, so I opted for an XL and they are a very XL.

Maybe I went a bit large and they would be just right, so maybe I'll try that. Why not just return them? Did I mention that they're extremely comfortable? This is how a woman feels when she transitions from sexy panties to granny panties. I'm sorry, what did you just say?

Just thinking out loud. Are you happy this is how obviously a woman feels when she transitions from sexy panties to granny panties okay well you know um jason we've been working together for a couple months now i feel like we're just you're just starting to open up to me as your therapist. I don't know if that's an apt comparison, especially when comparing people to one another. Because, yes, I know that Jasmine was gorgeous, you said, and beautiful. But I wouldn't refer to your current partner, who you just said you were in love with, as granny panties.

Right? I'm right here also. I can't believe you just said that right in front of me in couples therapy no i know i know it's just you know i think this is a space where we can express ourselves and express correctly yeah right i'm so i'm not doing anything wrong i'm not doing therapy wrong all right he's starting to shut down listen um, Elizabeth, how does this comment make you feel? I mean, like... How does him comparing me to his ex and describing her as sexy panties and me as granny panties make me feel? Do you even have to ask? ask sorry jason you cannot smoke in here i'm sorry to say

it's a spliff that's that doesn't change anything it's the combustion in a building oh it's an old building please put it out yeah also maybe don't be high and i didn't even smoke it yet do you actually need me to answer that question no i just it's helpful to vocalize things so that he can hear it. It makes me feel terrible. I mean, obviously, it makes me feel like shit. He called me granny panties. I know what he said.

I just think he needs to hear it. Okay, can I just say in defense, babe, whenever you're on the rag, you always talk about how you love putting on your granny panties because they're really comfy. Jesus, you can't. Jason. Jason, what the hell is wrong with you? talk about how you love putting on your granny panties because they're really comfy jesus you can't say jason what the hell is wrong with you what i'm just saying it's like you're comfortable you're reliable you're there like what like granny oh actually jason you're actually wrong to assume that that's bad i think both of you are wrong to assume that i meant that as an egg when actually i meant that as like that she's actually like really like all reliable.

All reliable. I'm not a fucking car. All right. Let's just, you know, let's cool things down here for a second. Jason, why don't you, you know, explain further what you mean? This is why I didn't want to come. Okay. Yeah.

This is just bear with us for a second. Reliability. You know, stability. These are things that you haven't had in your relationships past no definitely not definitely not and something that you've expressed to me individually that you've been lacking in and also you know let's let's go let's go here for a little bit how has your sex life been together because you know now you have the stability now you have the the reliability is it still are you still able to see her liz as a sexual object well i think she wants to be i do i do and i am i know that i am i just wish he would see me as that well yeah i mean we've been saying reliable a lot and that's true i really value that i mean with jasmine I mean, with Jasmine, with Jasmine, with Jasmine, God, God, she's a real firecracker.

She really is. What a fox. She, I mean, the sex is explosive. It was Nirvana. It was fireworks on the 4th of July. Liz. With Liz July. Liz. With Liz. With Liz.

I'm getting to her. It's comfortable. It's a warm hug. That's it? That's it. Sorry, I shouldn't be upset. What is, no, no, please. Please.

I'm glad someone else in this room knows what I'm going through. Everyone's taking, why am I suddenly the bad guy? I'm literally saying nothing but nice things. Jason, you might think they're nice, but you've been framing them in very hurtful ways. Liz, I want to give you a chance to speak. How has your experience been sexually with Jason? I think it's been wonderful. I mean, I think it's, I feel really connected.

And I, well, now I'm embarrassed because I was going to say something. But after what he said, I don't know if I want to. No, it's a safe space. No judgment. Jason's already kind of expressed himself in maybe not the best ways so feel free to also you know i was gonna say that sex with jason is the best sex in my life but i guess really yeah

cool Yeah. Cool. Cool? Is that chewing tobacco that you're pulling out of your pocket? Please don't. Again, please don't do that. There's nowhere to spit. He told me not to smoke, so I'm not smoking. My God. How often does he consume tobacco products, Liz?

I'm sorry to say. You know, big league chew. Yeah. It's like that, but five times a day but he thinks it tastes the same as big league too that's why he does it so often is that for him it tastes like bubble gum he doesn't even like nicotine he just likes he likes the taste incorrectly tastes like nicotine i mean sorry bubble gum i'm all turned around this is you guys are one of the most interesting couples i've ever worked with we do have to finish up in a minute but i just wanted to wrap things up here and make sure that everybody's feeling okay i'm definitely not feeling okay yes right so liz i

want to give you the floor let's i mean has there been any past experiences for you that you can kind of relate to how jason might feel about jasmine like i'm sure jason's not the only love of your life the only person you've had passionate connected sex with. Well, no, he isn't. I mean, you know, I had a life before you, Jason. Don't forget that. Yep, I know. Right. Um, well, I know it's unconventional, but I feel like my, my, what my high school boyfriend really meant a lot to me, and I thought we were going to be high school sweethearts. Like, I thought that was it. And, you know, we went to different schools,

and we visited each other once freshman year of college, and we took each other's flower. And that was – why are you looking at me like that i no it's just the way you guys choose to frame things is very interesting don't i would never i'll continue don't say take each other's flower but continue well we did and i thought that was forever but you know then he went back to his school he told me he met someone and so I was pretty heartbroken um but I knew that that kind of love is something I've been chasing ever since um and then I met Jason yep

do you care do you even want to be in this yes i literally said you were comfortable and reliable why is everyone getting up on me i thought this was couples therapy not not everyone shit on jason day day it's not that i want to connect with you jason i want to i want to feel good enough for you you all right all right all right guys guys we do have to finish up i do have another client you, Jason. I want to feel good enough for you. Alright, alright, alright. Guys, guys. We do have to finish up. I do have another client coming in. I'm going to give you some homework for this weekend. Ew! Is that what I want?

Jason, come on. I don't want to go to school. You're not. It's not school. It's homework for Jesus. What is it? Can I ask? I don't know why I haven't asked earlier. Liz, how old is Jason? Jason's 43. And how old is Jason? Jason's 43. And how old are you?

29. Liz, you gotta get out of this. I'm so sorry. You gotta get out of this. He sucks. He sucks. Well, what's the homework? Maybe we can fix it.

There's no homework now. The homework is breakup. I've never done this. He's the worst. But there's something about him. Yeah. Jason, you cannot set up a hookah in here. What?

It's smoke. It's vapor. No, it's not. It's water vapor. No, it isn't. Really? That's a common misconception. You gotta go to school again.

I'm gonna go find Jasmine. Damn it! A flying carpet kind of pulls up. No way. Babe, I missed you so much. Get on. The fuck? This is crazy.

I can never compare. I've never seen anything like this. Get on. I've never told someone to break up. This is a day. Get on. Alright. Should we do our last segment? Yeah. This should be all week long.

Get on. I got a chain. You got a chain? I actually got two chains. I see. It's nice. I got a gold one and a steel one. Are you more of a gold or a silver guy?

Silver, to be sure, but I'm branching out into gold and love. I see that. Into gold and love. I'm open to finding either. I'm open to mining

for gold. Or love. I don't think so. That's it, though. Yeah. Just that you got a chain? 20 centimeter chain, I think is what it is. Or 20 inches. What moved you to do this?

It's the style. It is an absolute trend that I'm following. You can wear it in the shirt. You can wear it out. I did this incorrectly. You can wear it outside the shirt. You can wear it in the shirt. Shirtless, it looks good on my chest.

It makes me feel powerful. It makes me feel like a dictator. What? I'm the master of my own domain and country. That's different. But yeah, highly recommend for anybody to get a chain if you're looking for that springtime sadness. Or should I say gladness? Do you even know what you say?

I blacked out the last maybe 13 seconds of what I was just saying. But I got a chain. I got two chains. One's steel, one's gold. Depending on what watch and belt I'm wearing. Silver and gold. Chains. What's been shaking you? I'm wearing. Silver-angled, silver-angled. Chains. Chains.

What's been shaking you? We've been watching, Daniel, Ian, I have been watching a lot of movies lately. Daniel's part of a screenwriting class through the Nantucket Film Festival. And so they have guest speakers who are screenwriters

come once a week. And so they give an assignment because then they do a q a and so it's like watch their film before they come and so like we watched i can't i hadn't seen it i can't believe i hadn't seen it till now we watched the farewell because lulu wong came and talked to them which was really cool um they had i'm forgetting the name um but we watched coda the other night um i have never cried we i all three of us weeping wet i've never cried so hard in a movie in my life oh my have you seen it no i was inconsolable like just like my face was sopping wet oh my god i was i heard it was good it was beautiful and then even afterwards it it's like, we were all

talking about during the credits, he started thinking about the movie again and then started crying all over again. Like, crying like, not even just like, wow, that was really beautiful. Like, it was really It was wonderful. Now I gotta watch this

shit. I don't want to cry like that. But last night we watched, we watched a spy movie with Stephanie Koenig and Brian Jordan Alvarez. Ooh. And it's her movie. She wrote, directed, and is in it.

And it's just so stupid. It's brilliant. But it's an hour and a half film that they made. And it was just really inspiring. It just made me excited to start making things again. And it really kind of lit a fire under my ass just to start making shit. Because it's so ridiculous.

Yeah. You gotta watch it. I'm gonna watch it for sure. And it's like you know they shot the whole thing in la but it's like just the special effects are so bad but it's not trying to be it's just it's so it's so funny and it just it it just this is very earned such like me it just made me excited to like start making shit again and also made me very excited to like have you come back to la because i want to make more shit with you yeah and so it was really it was just really fun there was one

shot this doesn't give anything away it's just it's stephanie in like a gorgeous red dress next to brian jordan alvarez in a mime outfit and it's like just with the situation it's like he's in like sweaty mime makeup he's there like dressed for like a black tie gala and it just like them acting the whole time and it just made me think of good morning i'm just like this is the kind of shit like watching this movie i'm like this is the kind of shit we would make yeah and so it's like he played he plays a secret agent and his name is Jack Johnson so it's just like various lines sort of like the world needs you Jack Johnson

and the video it's just it's so silly everyone should watch it it's on Vimeo and YouTube for free for free you can watch it for free it's phenomenal so yeah so just been watching a lot of good shit and i want to make more stuff hell yeah yeah 2022 is the year the year of fear

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The last one was super fun. The last one was super fun. The last one was very fun. We got to come up with a theme for the next one. We do. But we'll see you guys again next week. Thanks for listening to this episode of Review Review. Arrivederci. Chi!

That was a Hiddem Original.