Review Revue - British Pubs NOT in the U.K.

Episode Date: April 28, 2020

Reilly and Geoff discuss awkwardly-located British pubs, being a regular at Disney World, and the most coveted stout known to man.Follow Reilly and Geoff:IG: @reillyanspaugh & @iamgeoffreyjamesTwitter: @reilecoyote & @dontplaynojamesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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I just wanna I just wanna go happy Saturday happy sad-er day because I'm devastated what's wrong now yeah so basically about what

about what I'm glad you asked um but I feel like people think that my personality is bad, you know? Like I was watching, have you seen Too Hot to Handle? I've seen the first episode of Too Hot to Handle.

So like, I kind of relate to those people, right? I'm kind of like, oh, we're amongst... In what way? Well, we're amongst some of the hottest people in the world. But, you know... Who's we? You're just talking about you. Harry, me, Kells. No, bruv, you call him call them kills you don't really pronounce

the l which is a lot kills you know bro holy shit this is why i want to take a dialect class um yeah no i uh fuck i want to save it oh is that a bug i'm recording in my closet right now you're gonna sound amazing. I'm not. Daniel did a voiceover audition in here yesterday and he gave me a good setup. Is that it's like a little end table that you bring in here, the blanket over it, and then sit on a bunch of cushions with the door closed. And I'm drinking a hard kombucha.

Imagine drinking alcohol in a closet. I've been there more often than I haven't. I want to talk about too hot to handle, but i'll do that in our final segment okay cool um good morning is out good morning is out the response has been good but uh i don't know if everybody's seen it yet if you if you missed last week's episode or you just haven't had a chance uh check it out it's at seven or eight minutes and uh i think it's fun the link is in both of our instagram bios and we've

certainly shared it on twitter so yeah go check it out but how are you how are you doing what have you been up to today it is 5 15 p.m on a saturday we're doing a happy hour episode i'm having a sand wait what's it called sand of cheese scars of seas chardonnay. Sand of cheese. Chardonnay. It's sort of a grainy Gouda in a glass with grapes and a hat. It's been a good week. It's been sunny and I'm happy. It's also very warm though. What about you? So there's this YouTuber who I was introduced to by Annie Zuber Walker. I might have talked about her on the pod a little bit ago, i got lazy and but now i'm back at it um chloe ting and she has these workout regimens i've definitely talked about her just the title on the website is just the number one uh first one is muffin top abs workout i'm like cool and the second one is is small waist and booty workout but then

you actually click on the video takes you to the youtube page and the title is hourglass abs workout and the emoji of the woman raising her hand lose muffin top and love handles 10 minutes and i said every time i do one of the workouts i said jeff wait what was the other one was funnier this was oh yeah small waist parentheses abs and parentheses and round butt workout peach emoji 26 day hourglass program and then an hourglass emoji um it's over promising it's i will get a great ass and a 12 pack in 45. If it takes more than five minutes, I don't want it. But at the same time, it'd be nice to have a lean build with thick shoulders. Yeah, so that's kind of where it gets complicated.

I want a flat stomach with bulky abs, thin legs wrapped around a chicken thigh. I want a sandpaper belly with, like like six diglets on my chest. I want a carton of egg six pack. Chicken breast arms beaten to a flattened curve. Rounded at the elbows with saggy skin. In less than a minute. I want Instagram sepia toned arms

and a thigh gap as wide as the mississippi is long oh my god i want a thigh gap that makes me look bow-legged as a cowgirl and did i mention my forearms can't grow an inch otherwise i'll be really upset and if any of this takes more than five minutes, I'm out. So, yeah. So, I did that workout today. And it was fun. I listened to the Mean Girls soundtrack while I did it. The Broadway musical?

Of course. When you work out, do you make a lot of noises? Are you a grunter? No. And I think it's very funny because, like, in a gym, I find everyone's working out really hard and i hate to put this into a binary but none of the ladies i'm seeing around there like we're working out really hard and we're breaking sweat it's like we're we're fucking working out we go there to like put in the work every dude i've ever seen in a gym will be lifting like a five pound little free weight being like

yeah and like every motion is just they're taking a giant shit you know what it is it's women are conditioned to be soft and quiet and men are supposed to be like balls to the wall look at me it's just it's just

wild like but I'll be lifting weights or doing something and i'll like i'll make a little like like breathe up through my nose but i'm not gonna be like you take it off the squat rack oh no one if anything i would just start singing show tunes in a gym Hello, Dolly. Hello, Dolly. If anything, I would just start singing show tunes in a gym. Yeah.

I do make a lot of noise. It's probably because I'm a guy. But I don't know. I grew up on the swim team in high school. So? Well, everybody was grunting. It was 6 a.m. You didn't want to be at school, but you're at school and you're doing circuit training.

You're grunting in the water? No, in the weight room we had like two days where you'd have to work out in the morning and then swim in the afternoon uh i can just imagine you like doing a butterfly and just being like um but but i've been i've also been doing these at-home workouts that I used to do in middle school because I couldn't drive myself to the gym. But some of them are really hard. And now that it's hot, I'm just, like, really dehydrated. And I do it as soon as I wake up. I don't eat anything beforehand.

So, like, there are some of these workouts where, like, I'm probably bothering my neighbors because I'm, like, sick of it by the end. And I'm just like, you kidding me with this? Like, just doing a burpee. Like, come on. Another set. I'm like sick of it by the end and I'm just like you kidding me with this like doing a burpee like come on another set I'm like pissed they're like you can stop whenever you want no this are you are you for real I can't have

any water because I didn't fill the Brita filter um Jeff and I right before um the world turned upside down i took him to rumble which is like a boxing inspired hit class i'm just imagining if they had been like okay now we're going to mountain climbers if jeff had just been like come on no no we're not no we're absolutely not you're kidding me with mountain climbers at this part of the workout? It's so late. It's five minutes in. You're kidding me? I thought it was 40. I got a water. Same. Yeah, working out's crazy. I've always said that. Yeah, I guess.

But sometimes when you're working out, you know, you go through it and then you feel great afterwards, even if you didn't want to do it beforehand. Suddenly it's, you know, 6 p.m. You know, it's not during quarantine in this hypothetical. And Zaddy wants a British pub ale. So that's my segue. What are we talking about today? We are talking about British pubs not in the UK. Very cool.

I'm just a kind girl who will. I will take a pub over a club Any day Nice You're Irish I love a pub There's something about it I feel like it's like being cozy

While getting drunk It's nice I love it I love pub food It has to be a really good British pub And you know it's an actual British pub when they got vinegar, malt vinegar, on the table to have with. But I think it's so funny of, like, the gimmick of those in the U.S. and anywhere else. What are your favorite pub experiences?

Technically, my first legal drink was in Dublin at a pub. So you could say it was at a British, I mean, Irish British. It's all part of the UK. Careful, careful with that. Well, I still don't recognize Ireland as its own state. Okay, well, I'm going to hang up. Of course. But yeah, so I had my first legal drink.

It was a Guinness with my buddy Kevin in Dublin. But that was when I was like 20 or 19 uh so it was legal there but you know it's not like the classic you know US 21 21st birthday uh that I also had at a British pub but that was in LA at Rock and Riley's because it was the only place that served alcohol during lunchtime on November 28th 2018 whenever my mom sees a rock and Riley's if she's traveling she'll always send me a picture because your name or yeah cool because there are a few things here that are spelled Riley in like the the way that I spell my name yeah and so And so it's either that or O'Reilly's Auto Parts. So I'm happy with either.

Have you ever considered, if you ever do change your Instagram or Twitter to be the same thing, Wiley and Spa? No. Yeah, so your pub experiences? I studied, I don't know if I've mentioned this on the pod before,

but I studied abroad in London. I was at Lambda. Easy. Yeah, just like eating a cigarette holder. Sorry, you know you're supposed to smoke that, right? You're not supposed to. I have a degree in classical acting. Oh, your teeth are brown um so every night after school we would go to the pub

next to school yeah but when i was in dublin for spring break during that time uh one of my best pals shout out to dylan chance whack we went to dublin together for spring break and there was one night i'm forgetting the name of it but it's a very fate it's like a very famous oh is it the really old one like the one from the 17th century I don't know but it's like it's great for music god I'm forgetting the name um but it's like it's the pub in Dublin to go to for live music and um we were there because it's like we were there on a Friday night or Saturday night and like it it was spring break Saturday night so it's like we were there on a friday night or saturday night and like it it was spring break saturday night so it's like okay we know that there's gonna be like no tables

available yeah and so we wanted to like get an early dinner and then get there early to drink and listen to music and so we probably got there at around seven maybe 6 30 or seven and we stayed at that table till like two in the morning that's that's the ideal night out when the conversation is so good that it doesn't it was amazing it was truly like one of the here's the thing i was i was young and dumb then, and I had way too much to drink, and I've never been more hungover in my life the next day. Of course. But I remember every single part. I've never blacked out.

I'm very proud of that. And it was such an amazing night. We just had so much fun, and that's one of my favorite pub nights because it was just like we're in ireland we're gonna drink eight pints of guinness and have three jack and cokes yeah and it's gonna be a night i will never drink that way again that was awful in my body and i can't handle it anymore that um frequently or just that much that much like it was way too much um but here we are we made it and now i'm having a hard kombucha if you can believe it one of my favorite pubs i've ever been

to think okay i think this is it i was trying to find it so when i was in ireland we went to the cliffs of moore and we stayed at this like. And next, a couple doors down from it was this, I think it's this pub called Egan's or Eggans. It's either that one or Joseph McHugh. But it's kind of, it's in County Clare. And it was me, my friend Kevin, and my friend James. And we were just there. And there was, like, a wedding going on. And it was, like, such a small town vibe that, like, the wedding party kind of just acted like we were invited and we got to sit at a table and like enjoy the wedding music that

was there and like they were all dancing and we were like clapping along like this irish jig um yeah which was it was great i i think ireland and scotland are like two of the most beautiful places i've ever been they are oh the bar it's's called Temple Bar. That was the big night out. That's like the big one. Yeah. Reed, do you want to start us off? I think I started last time. Okay. So this is three stars from Josh B.

The B stands for Braggard. Josh Braggard? Oh, that's great. My neighbor's dogs are so small and yelpy. Can you hear that? Yeah. Well, I did, but now I can't anymore. Oh, hold on. It's great. My neighbor's dogs are so small and yelpy. Can you hear that? Yeah. Well, I did, but now I can't anymore. Oh, hold on.

It's great for audio. Braggart. Okay, this is a review of the Pub Beaver Creek in Dayton, Ohio. Three stars. Food was subpar, kind of bland tasting. The beer cheese was cold, which was disappointing because we thought it was going to be warm. Right.

I feel like you learn a lot about someone on a first date. How they handle conflict. You know, we didn't get good service. We didn't get good food. And I, for me, I'm kind of retaliatory. So if somebody wrongs me, You're twirling your mustache.

If somebody wrongs me, I will in turn wrong them. Is that, and I think that's fair. Well, no, I think I, you know, I'm kind of the opposite. You know, if someone wrongs me, I will apologize. Because if I weren't here, they wouldn't have done it so it's probably my fault actually were you bullied as a kid I was

severely bullied as a child what would people do people you know people it's uh you know my parents would um your parents fight they would be like Krista if you weren't here we we wouldn't be fighting oh my god and yeah well no it didn't I mean they are right they were right no they weren't here, we, we wouldn't be fighting. Oh my God. And yeah, well, no, it didn't. I mean, they are right.

They were right. I mean, it's like if, if I hadn't have been born, if I weren't the fastest swimmer per se, then, you know, I,

uh, I could have prevented a lot of that. Um, so I, you know, I took that to school. All my, all my teachers,

you know, when they would, they would grade things on a curve, they'd be like, Krista, if you hadn't have done so well on this test test i wouldn't have had to curve it this way and i'd be like fuck yeah i'm yeah i won't study i won't do that your teachers yelled at you for doing well in school yeah because it made the rest of the kids feel bad because none of them studied so you know it's just it's been a continuous thing do you ever sorry do you ever are you ever selfish like do you ever take a day for yourself oh my god

um uh that's kind of like whoa uh is this a trick question what do you yeah i mean i try to do like self-care and schedule things to make myself like less stressed just for me not for anybody else sounds great i wish i could do that let's just run through a scenario you're really stressed it was a long work week and then somebody asked you your friend asked you hey can you help me move this weekend that friend's asking me to help them move i'll be like okay well how much money do you need to rent the place um how much money do you need per month and do you need me have you gotten your furniture do you need me to get the furniture um and then what times will you be out so i can move everything in you have to understand that that's not even what they were asking they were already asking something huge which is to help

you like lift heavy shit upstairs and into their place which is like already going out on right but you do it by yourself yeah when they're not there for them and And then you pay their rent. You pay their rent. How many, sorry, just let me ask you this question. Answer just yes or no. Just yes or no. Don't qualify it. Can you count on one hand the amount of friends whose rent you pay everyone?

No. Of course. But can I qualify it? Fine. Karma. The more you put out, the more you'll get back in. Right. You were late by 45 minutes because you got in a massive accident so it doesn't feel like karma's going your way i can't hope for that

every day so i will i will tip 20 you know your parents bullied you your teachers bullied you the other kids bullied you your friends and air quotes take advantage of you you're you're good luck like what good goes around hasn't come around to you. Not yet. You still are holding out hope? Because I feel like the more I keep doing the right thing, putting myself last, it's like a slingshot getting ready to go. So it's like I keep pulling back,

and the tension's growing and growing and growing. And one day, either I'm going to snap or the slingshot's gonna snap right so we'll see the timing on that one but uh like one day it'll just pop and then suddenly i'm a billionaire i you know that's your end game you want to be insanely rich? You don't have a job. And you still just offered to pay the meal. You're paying people's rent. It's just more fuel for the slingshot, man. I don't know what to say. Do you have a therapist?

Hold on. I want to circle back. What do you mean you retaliate? Oh, no, nothing. I was just like, so like my dad, he basically sent me a really thoughtful birthday card but no gift so i sent him um basically a biochemical concoction a a cocktail of toxic metals uh and said hey you should try this new vitamin but it was pills that would basically raise his copper levels and cause hormone hormone imbalances uh over time is that a joke It's not, but when I just said it back, it sounds bad.

Well, it's really bad. Well, it's funny. It's kind of funny. No, you poisoned your dad. Well, he's alive. He just has weird, like he has acne again, and he's like 70. So he shouldn't have the acne, but he has it because of the metal toxicity that I caused. But he sent you a really nice card.

What am I going to buy with a card? I can't get a Jeep with that, right? You're the one who wants to be a billionaire. You of all people should understand that. Do you want me to go talk to your dad? Yeah. Because I'm happy to, you know, I was supposed to take a weekend trip to Big Sur,

but I'm more than happy to give that up to go patch things up between you and your dad. I mean, I feel guilty because I know how much you put yourself out there for other people. I mean, you should go on your trip, but yeah, it'd be nice if you could stop by and see my dad on the way. Does your dad have a guest room? He does not, so

you'd have to find your own lodging. Also, he doesn't live anywhere near Big Sur. He lives in Little Rock. I'll cancel the trip. No, go on the trip. I don't want you to knock on it. I'm just saying go out of your way first. Fuel for the slingshot, you know? It's like I will... It's such a weird metaphor.

You're pouring your entire life into a slingshot metaphor. I don't think you and I are going to work out romantically, but I would like to help your dad. If you don't think we're going to work out romantically, don't help me. Put yourself first. Like, I feel bad. I want you to...

Fuel for the slingshot. Are you singing? Maybe we should get together. That was such a fast turnaround and nothing changed. What happened? Fuel. Right? For the slingshot.

That's nothing. What do you mean? Sorry, you want to date me for an unknown period of time just so that you have more good karma to be a billionaire? You seem like you probably won't treat me well. I won't. And if how you treat your dad is evidence of anything, you won't treat me well. But I figure the longer I date you, the more money I might make in the future, the happier I'll be one day when the whole thing goes kaboom.

You think money equals happiness? I mean, it hasn't been disproven. It's been colloquially disproven. Colloquially, sure. let's take a break uh do you have any do you have what give us one sentence to lead us into the break just kind of a momentum starter like a fire starter but for momentum of the ad anything you want to do can be done. By you? Maybe.

See, that's not very inspirational, though, because it's like, yeah, if you want to be like a stuntman, like, what you're saying is... Let's go to the ad! And we're back. Here is my review. Okay. This is from Josh M. Meanderthal.

Very good. Josh Meanderthal. He's kind of gallivanting around, but he's also hairy and doesn't speak English. And he's a narcissist. This is from the King's Head in Santa Monica. Oh, yeah. The old King's Head pub. So it's not only a pub. It's also like they have a little tea house next to it and a store.

So whenever I'm craving British snacks, they have everything. It's fantastic. Josh M. Josh Meandrethal. Two stars. March 29th 2015 two stars

the year of our lord may God save the queen and this restaurant's terrible service I will begin with the fact that atmosphere wise the restaurant is great and the menu has offerings

that you wouldn't find at an everyday TGIF so be prepared to try something that isn't the usual. We were seated promptly, but our service lacked as our server came to our table twice. One time to start off with drinks, and the second time around when placing our order. After that, we did not see her again and had to ask our hostess for a check.

Yup, we were not asked how we were enjoying the food, or if we wanted a refill on our drinks. Nothing. Anyway, the food was pretty good, with the fish and chips being the star of the night, and the spiced tea from the drink menu gets two thumbs up. Location for this restaurant was also a plus, as it's only minutes away from the pier and all-day parking. It was a fun old pub-slash-restaurant, but I won't be returning. The service was absolutely horrible. The waiter came around to take our drink order.

Afterwards, he came around and said, can I get anything started for you? Which we weren't ready for yet. So he gave us a good amount of time, maybe five minutes, came back, then we were ready, we ordered. Suddenly he's bringing our meal 20 minutes later and then that's the last we hear from him until he brings the check at the perfect time dad it sounds like you and mom actually had a pretty good date no your mother was great i mean i didn't we didn't talk a lot but the waiter the waiter brought your food at the waiter i know I know. I know.

What? The waiter got your drinks. The waiter asked if you needed anything. That was on you that you weren't ready. I know, but then he came back when we were ready. Did you say, oh, we need a couple more minutes, thank you? Yeah, I said, actually, just a couple more minutes. Then he said, of course. And then he came back

a couple minutes later and then we were ready. So what's, okay. What I'm hearing from you, Dad, is that... Your mother was flirting with him the entire night.

There it is. Right? I was seeing what's the root of the problem. Yeah. And thank God I'm home for the summer. You know, I'm sorry

that I'm not 25. I'm sorry that I'm not an actor. I have a stable career, all right? I'm a that I'm not 25. I'm sorry that I'm not an actor. I have a stable career, all right? I'm a tax accountant, which is kind of rock and roll a little bit, because it's not cool, and punk wasn't cool, I think. You don't have to tell me.

No, also, you don't have to apologize for it. Maybe ask mom. If you're really feeling this way, maybe ask her if that's what she was doing, because, you know, mom loves you, and I don't think she would be flirting with a waiter you didn't see this guy he was british and handsome and he kept brushing my thigh a little bit and we had this fun banter going back and forth were you flirting with the waiter mean, it seems pretty obvious that you were, but... Your mother wasn't there.

Then where was she? Book club. I just told you that I was going to dinner with her so that you wouldn't be suspicious. If you had just said, I'm going to the bar for a drink, I wouldn't have thought anything of it. You really pressed me, though. You've been pressing me all afternoon, and I'm finally coming out. I flirted with a guy at a king's head pub, because I never got to experiment when I was younger. I went straight into taxes.

You wanted to get that king's head. I'm so sorry for saying that. I wanted to be the king, and I wanted to have head. And I didn't, because I love your mother, but I thought about it and he offered. The whole restaurant chanted my name while he undid my belt loops and took my belt off. And I do mean that he unsewed each individual loop. Yeah, and then took the entire belt down around my feet.

How did he even do that? I don't know, but it was definitely like a power move that I was into. You ruined your pants. They tossed beer on my shoes so I wouldn't be able to put them back on in an effort to make me get blown by the waiter. Who's they? This was, it was a whole crowd of guys just like me trying to hook up with male waiters at the king's head. I don't know where their wives were. Probably book clubs. It was a whole crowd of guys just like me trying to hook up with male waiters at the King's Head. I don't know where their wives were. Probably book clubs. It was a whole crowd of guys just like you.

There were a bunch of guys who were wearing Crocs, so I guess it's a regular thing for them. They knew what would happen. Was this a gay bar? This was a King's Head, so I think, yeah. And if it wasn't a gay bar per se it was a gay bar that night it was a gay bar that night so they had like they had like a night did you know that before going in well it was it was it was male it was males drink free so you knew that like you saw the the paper on the door before going into the bar i don don't, is this a cross-examination? All right, you asked how my day was.

Well, Dad, you, you, if you're gay or bi, that's fine. But, like, you gotta tell Mom. I didn't do anything. And you gotta be honest with yourself. Doesn't mean if you didn't do anything. It's just, like, you gotta tell her. All right, I, I, I. You hear the door open and close.

Tell me, tell me what? Are you guys having a boys night? What's going on here? Our son is in the military. Dad, what the fuck? That's true. Samuel, you're in the military? He's being shipped off tomorrow.

I don't know what I'm doing. Dad, fucking stop. What the hell is wrong with you? No, Mom, he means I'm driving back to to college tomorrow army college army college no ralph our son is a psychology major what are you talking about that was a joke the whole time he he has look at his room he has a he has an army weapon dad what the fuck is wrong with you i have an army i mom i wait Samuel, should I go check your room? No, Mom. I don't have an army. Do you need a gun?

I don't have an army weapon in my room. That's insane. All right, then let's check. Let's check. If you don't have an army weapon, then it's no problem to open the door, right? Yeah, of course it's no problem to open the door. I don't have an army weapon. She opens the door.

It's somehow to the outside, and there's a tank. Samuel! Where did you get a tank? Dad, what the shit is happening? Why me? I didn't do anything. You're the one who deleted your room and replaced it with a tank. Mom, Dad almost got blown by a

waiter at the king's head. Oh, don't play funny now, right? Oh, come on, Samuel. That's not very funny. That makes no sense. No, no, no. He undid his belt loops. And then the whole crowd of men there started chanting for him to get blown by a waiter. What are you talking about? Sorry, Dad.

Marge, how ridiculous is this? He thinks that somebody unsewed my belt loops, slid my belt down my legs, I moved my feet out of the belt, and then they kind of threw it around like a hula hoop passing it around hither and thither using Crisco as lube as everyone else is kind of having an orgy that didn't happen that's insane you know how crazy you sound Ralph? Yeah the answer is yes

using Crisco as lube using crisco very choice okay do you have another yeah i have a short one this is a four-star review from mimi r what does r stand for me roland this is a four-star review of the rose and crown pub at epcot in Disney World. My husband and I typically love Rosencrown, but we ate there a couple of weeks ago, and parts of the menu had changed. We usually love the gluten-free menu, but

we were very disappointed to see that the lemon scone with berries had been discontinued. My neighbor, who was with us, ordered what she normally gets, which is salmon, because it's always excellent. She said it tasted different. I ended up ordering the English trifle. Normally it has a smooth custard consistency,

but this time it tasted like flour had been added, and that was a concern for me. They said it was gluten-free, but it didn't quite agree with my system, and the texture was bad. As always, the staff were phenomenal and the atmosphere relaxing, but we were disappointed in the menu changes.

I know they made the changes because the waitress informed us of them, but I hope they'll return to the original soon. The scone was one of the main reasons I loved to eat there, besides the gluten-free fish and chips. The only other choice for me now, besides the gritty trifle, is a fruit bowl, and I can make that at home. How about you don't become a regular at Epcot? Two, you can make anything at home. Yeah, you can make the fish and chips at home. You can make the gluten-free. What, did you get a scone?

You can make a scone. Trifle. Imagine weekly going to Epcot and getting used to Goofy being your waiter. I mean, it sounds kind of fun, actually. And I've been to Epcot, and the food's actually good. But don't do it, right? It's like $100 to get in.

Well, one, it's expensive. I've never been to Epcot, but I know... I mean, I don't know. It could be different there, but I feel like at every kind of Disneyland restaurant, it's like they have like, because they are serving so many people a day, they only have like four things on the menu.

See, that's the thing. Epcot's very different. Epcot has like 12 full service gourmet restaurants. Disney World's cool. Disneyland sucks. No offense to Californians. But Florida sucks and California's great. So no offense to offense to Californians. But Florida sucks, and California's great, so... No offense to any Floridians.

The entire world, I somehow offend everybody. I feel like if you're at camp, and it's like, ooh, where's everyone from? If it's a place where a bunch of... Not camp, sorry. If you're going to college, and it's your freshman year, and you're meeting all these people from all these different places, and there are stereotypes, and it's like, oh, you're from if you're going to college and it's like your freshman year and you're meeting all these people from all these different places and like there's stereotypes

if it's like oh you're from LA oh like how's Hollywood and you're like it's actually kind of kind of gnarly or and it's like New York do you go to Broadway and they're like well it's kind of expensive it's like if you're in Florida it's like oh do you go to Disney World they're like like all the theme parks but imagine like having someone being like yeah like actually um Disney World is kind of like a second home to me. And I know that's kind of crazy, but I think for my whole community, my neighbors go there. My teachers all go there. So it's a pretty big part of me.

I mean, Goofy is like an uncle to me. I know that sounds kind of weird but it's true goofy the animated character who has different adult people play him at the parks is like an uncle to you so you said you were from chicago so do you are you a baseball fan yeah i like baseball what the hell is wrong with you an ra whoa whoa whoa we got some conflict going on in the halls here fucking josh what do you want man just it's not conflict we're just having a conversation, man. No, I just came to invite you guys. We have a little ice cream social Sunday, Sunday tonight.

I'm so glad you guys are getting to know each other on the floor. Yeah. We got a Floridian girl and a Chicago boy, you know? Yeah. You're reading from note cards. You don't actually know us. We got Sarah, who's 19, and she is from Florida. She's 20.

Her birthday was last week. Okay, I can change that. Happy birthday, Sarah. And we got Tristan, 20, from Chicago. Duh, bears. You know? Anyway, just came to flip this back. Where are you from, Josh? We know you're dying for us to ask. Yeah. Yeah, you.. You know. Anyway. Just came to flip this back. Where are you from, Josh?

We know you're dying for us to ask. Yeah. Yeah, you. Yeah, you. I am from Alaska. Why'd you say it like that? Is that an Alaskan thing? I mean, it's the only thing we have.

Sarah's leaving. It's all leaving. Sarah's literally leaving because of you. No, no, no. Sarah, come back. You know, I have other errands to run. So I just want to make sure that you guys weren't getting in a fight do you actually have errands to run or do you just say that some uh steven universe to watch in my dorm you know

i'll come to the ice cream social amazing um sorry i just had to i just had to go pick up something to oh uh bye bye um sorry tristan i, I went to go pick up something from my room to show you just kind of who I am. Have you ever seen one of those like autograph books from Disneyland and the characters sign your book for you? Yeah, you have one of those? What is it? Let's get it over with. Here you go. Notice how thick it is?

Yeah, a lot of autographs. And notice the long, you you know for most people the characters just sign their name but for me i get like heartfelt messages what's the last what's the last one in your book say what's the message what because they're just people they're just people in the suits take a look jesus christ dear sarah pleasure to see you again after your two-month-long headache. I, too, get migraines. That's right. Even Pluto gets them.

So I know your pain. Signed, your good boy. And then he signed his real name, Andrew Lowe, and then crossed that out with Pluto. So, yeah, Pluto is like a parent's dog who you get to see sometimes, and then cross that out with Pluto. So yeah, Pluto is like it's like a parent's dog who you get to see sometimes and they're kind of your dog, but it's kind of your parents. So Goofy's your uncle. Pluto's your dog to you to feel.

Have you ever been? I've never been. What are you doing for Thanksgiving? Cut to the Rosen. Forgiving thanks is so great for it's a jolly good fell thanks And we give thanks at the Rosencrown So nice to see you Sarah

It's the muffled singing Of all the characters What the fuck is this? This is so weird My skin has goosebumps in a negative way This is Tristan He's from Chicago And he has never been here. All the characters in unison.

Do this. Devers, yeah, nice. They do that laughing thing where they put their hands in front of their mouth and shake like they're laughing. Hey, Tristan, remember when Michael Jordan playedordan played for the white socks they all crack up why are you guys bullying me i'm not even offended that was from mini she and geppetto are laughing their asses off pinocchio takes center stage and he's just like hey tristan you look really good today And then he makes his nose go out and they all crack up.

Pinocchio, stop it! So you're lying? Nice. Steamboat Willy comes waltzing out. His legs are like walking like Groucho Marx. Throw in the wheel hither and thither. Then he like tosses it at Tristan's throat.

Hits him square. That one's not even clever. Okay, I have one more review. So this is from the Bombardier, which is a pub in Paris. Yeah, imagine it. This is from Justin Y. It's it's just justin y justin y uh four stars april 23rd 2019 first off i don't come here to eat i come here to drink ran into the bombardier two years ago and discovered the ultimate beer remember Remember that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark when Indiana Jones is trying to leave

a bag of sand and ink? Sorry. You've never seen Raiders of the Lost Ark. Remember that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark? Okay, this isn't even funny. Shut up, Anspawn. Okay. Remember that scene in Raiders...

It's because I know what's coming. Okay. Remember that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark when Indiana Jones is trying to leave the bag of sand in exchange for the idol? That's me trying to leave my backpack full of nothing in exchange for a keg of Young's London Stout. What the fuck are you talking about?

The best... The best... The best beer I've ever tasted. Full malty chocolate taste. Have it in an extremely cold mug and it tastes like a milkshake. I never stay on the left bank, but I make the trek almost every other day. Holy shit. I never stay on the left bank,

but I make the trek almost every other day to have this delightful beer, sit down, and watch the tourists sit on the steps and reenact a scene from Midnight in Paris. I'd give... I'd give the Bombardier five stars, but they torture me because they don't let me in until 12.

I have to walk around... Jesus. I have to walk around Jardin de Luxembourg for a while until it's time for me to have my nectar. My heart aches knowing Young's London Stout is so far away. That might be one of my favorite reviews I've ever read. That might be the best one so far away. That might be one of my favorite reviews I've ever read. That might be the best one so far. I have to walk around a beautiful historic garden

all morning until I can get my nectar. Don't call it nectar. Don't call it milk. I imagined him, I mean mean great imagery on his part but just the idea of him like with an empty jansport and then he like tries to quickly switch it with a full gallon keg or five gallon keg and like he so like he takes a really light thing tosses it next to the thing and then assuming it'll be a manageable weight, tries to heave the keg, but just immediately pulls his back. Oh! No!

What are you doing behind the bar? You know that scene in Indiana Jones where he... No, sorry sorry I asked you what you were doing behind the bar I was replacing an empty sack for this keg of

absolute mother's milk if I can't have it for brekkie oh I'm young's London stout yo you bet your ass yeah your pair of ass

if you would like to buy a pint of the London stout I can absolutely buy you a pint of the London stout yeah but not till noon I want the full keg

I want it at my flat. Well, now we are serving coffee. We are serving French press coffee. I grab you by the collar. Let's give you a little fuck. Sacre bleu! Sacre bleu, yeah. Give me the keg, alright? I don't want your French press. I don't want your bread. I don't want your

croque, monsieur. I want you to croque, monsieur. And guess what? Give me the keg. What are you doing? It is not even noon. I haven't had a delectable, malty, yeasty milk like this stout in my entire life. So you're going to give me the cake? Monsieur, we are located right next to the beautiful garden. If you go walk around outside, you spend an hour or so there. It's a garage to me.

You can sit outside and watch the tourists reenact a midnight in Paris across the street. Disregarding if you go walk around outside, you spend an hour or so there. It's a garage to me. You can sit outside and watch the tourists reenact a midnight in Paris across the street. That's nice, but only after I've had a couple pints. Right now it is 11 in the morning, monsieur. I cannot recommend you having a beer before noon. All right, I didn't want to have to do this. Grabs him, puts him over his knee, and starts spanking him. Give me the keg! Monsieur. Give me the keg! Give me the keg!

Give it here! They both start crying. I'm not leaving! Mon dieu! I know. Merde! Absolute merde! I'm so sorry.

Absolument. The beer I'm so sorry. Absolument. The beer made me do it. I love that they have British pubs in a place that famously hates the British. Yeah. Shall we go into our last segment? We shall. This should be our week one. I've only seen the first episode of Too Hot to Handle.

It is shocking. My favorite part is when, so you've only seen, I'm not going to spoil anything, but basically Harry, like all the guys are talking about who they like, like who they have crushes on and then harry's talking about how he's like wild for francesca and then somehow the conversation shifts to like different stuff but he's still like really excited about her and then someone's like do you guys have any deal breakers like what about like like what if she smokes and then harry's like oh absolutely no absolutely no i can't deal breaker for me it's like well what if it was

francesca oh well i'm a smoker now as well the part it's one of those shows that so our pals alissa yoffe and elizabeth valenti they were the ones who were like you have to watch it and so daniel and i one night were like okay let's just watch it let's watch it while we're like getting ready for bed so we like i put the computer like on the sink while we're like getting ready to go to sleep and um there was a moment i was taking off i was like we were both brushing our teeth or something it was a moment when sharon is like in his intro package and he's like talking about being a women's studies major and he's like i'm a feminist and i studied women's history whatever to get girls i'm like oh you were so close and

you lost me and then he goes it's like a b-roll of him smiling to camera. And he goes, oh, the thing I'm most proud of is my penis. I will not lie when I say that I scream in the bathroom. So good. That's also the first guy you meet. I know.

And so as more people were going in and I was like watching them, they were all toasting to like, they're like, guy you meet. I know. And so as more people were going in, and I was, like, watching them, they were all toasting to, like, to beautiful people. I'm like, oh, my God. Yeah. And I remember, like, telling Daniel, like, these are the kinds of people who, in high school, I'd be around, and, like, I'd be at a party with them, and I'd make, like, a very low bar, not-so-funny joke,

and they'd be like, you're so weird. Yeah, I fucking hate people like that uh the the funny thing too is in that when he's saying like oh the thing i'm most proud about my penis and he's and then it's like it's b-roll of like uh what is it an aerosol can and he's like yeah he's like i have a photo of it next to an air freshener can yeah but first of all he didn't say what the relativity was and then also like the longer the show goes on you realize how insecure he is like it just keeps coming up and it's probably it's probably because he's on the shorter side but i'm just like i don't know if i believe you at first i was like this guy's the man dude he's got a huge hog and so i really i can't wait to watch more because it's truly

it's remarkable um so that's honestly like that is the thing that has been shaking me all week long i was probably gonna say the same thing so i'll probably let me just come up with something fast now okay so this this uh this fitness person i follow on instagram has this like salted caramel fudge recipe and uh so i was like that sounds good. And if she has it and she looks like that, like, fine, I'll have some fudge like that. Made it last night. Smelled amazing. I tasted it when it was still damp and warm and it was great. It tasted like ice cream almost.

Put it in the fridge per the recipe to solidify overnight. Take it out this morning. It's almost soupier than it was before. So now it's in the freezer and i'm hoping to god it fucking solidifies um or at least becomes like some version of ice cream but uh so what shook me was the confidence going in versus how sad i was this morning you ever wake up and you're like oh i can't wait to go check out the progress on this project I worked on yes that was this this morning and I woke up and I'm like

see what we got here pulled it out and it jiggled like jello and I was sad as shit that's really good yeah so I guess the moral of the story is don't try things no try it just you know it's like you know try again some other time don't yeah that's better advice

well thank you all for listening follow us on social on Instagram I am Riley Anspa Twitter Riley Coyote and Jeff on Instagram is I am Jeffrey James and on Twitter is Don't Play No James follow us on Review Review on Instagram also be sure to subscribe

to our subreddit it's getting more and more active with each passing week. Someone created a review review name generator actually. If you have time for one name, I'm going to check that out. Maybe we'll try that every time.

I'm at 1% on my phone so we'll see. This was by user Hacker 6284. I'd love to see it. Thanks Hacker 6284. I'd love to see it. So thanks, Hacker6284. Here we go. Generate.

Giselle Psoriasis. Love it. Can you do one for me? Yeah, okay. I'm going to do first name Riley, last name A. Review topic is, you like musical theater. Let me just say that. Let me just say that right off the bat.

Riley Amos. Like famous Amos, but more Riley. I'm here for it. All right, I'm going to do me. Jeffrey J. What should I put as the review topic? Jorts. Jorts.

Jeffrey JDF. It's like a PDF, but for jorts. PDF, but for jorts. That's really good. That's really good. So shout out to to hacker for that one um and uh if you don't mind i'll read a a positive five star review and then we'll we'll get the fuck out of your hair this is a five star review on apple podcast be sure to leave your own

and we'll read it on the uh the podcast or we won't five stars from brendan metzz on April 20th, 2020. Imagine an egg so moist you'd swear it were raw. The yolk seeping, the whites sopping, all served piping lukewarm on a dish, paper or otherwise, with two forks and a shallow pool of oil of your favorite variety. Now open your eyes. That was just your breakfast. And this podcast bundled into one buy one get one pee package. Sound ideal? It's not. It's worse than ideal.

It's good. So if you read that, you wouldn't know what the show's about which is even wetter than the egg thank you so much Brendan and we look forward to more five star reviews from the rest of you fuckers spending tons of cash on bad

red wine that I'll never drink using the eggplant emoji to get girls to think I'm hot. And that's why I am a wonder Mike. And I like to say jello. And I'll take a soda can and see how far I can get inside a drawer. That's right. I dive into a cabinet, fit my neck inside inside but my legs won't fit inside the drawer and so i am real sad and then i go to bed and i have a nightmare about getting fired from a job and my boss thinks that i'm stoned on weed and i say that i'm sober i'm just real weird because i don't ever sleep in bed. I sleep inside a wood. I have

oak. I have herringbone. Coats inside a drawer. Thank you guys for listening. We'll see you next week. Arrivederci.