Review Revue - Centerpieces

Episode Date: November 23, 2021

"This week on Review Revue, Geoff and Reilly plan a baby shower, fail to own an essential piece of home furnishing, and become interior designers, all while reading reviews about CENTERPIECES. Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjames Twitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardee <><> Edited by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fm "See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. And participating restaurants for a limited time. This is a HeadGum Original.

Jeff, Jeff, and Riley. Jeff, Jeff, and Riley. We'll see you next time. No. Upload an app and the show will grow. To the extreme, the pot is lit like a candle. Five-star show is nothing I can't handle. Damn. This review. Fucking what? Review, review. Yeah. Enjoy the show. Woo!

I love that. That's an interstitial song during a timeout at crypto.com arena. I feel like they always play ice ice baby at like NBA games. Crypto.com arena. Oh my God. Cause of a crazy ass nightly. All right, shut up.

Everybody goes quiet. You don't have to listen to the song. Turn the app and listen. You make everyone in Crypto.com Arena listen to an episode of a podcast they've never heard of. Robin Lopez can't get enough of it. Booming. He's reeling. Who sent this in?

This came in from Justin Goncalves, a beloved BI patron. He wanted to shout out his Instagram at the best year 96. Hey, it is the best year. It is the best year. Sorry. No, that's when I was born, you know. What were you going to say? Oh, I was going to say he also wants to plug his YouTube channel that he does with his buddy called Let's Watch It.

They're close to 5,000 subscribers, so check that out. And shout out Justin. Hell yeah, thank you. That song was fantastic. Yeah, you were born in 1996 and you said it with like a combination of joy and shame. No, it's like that is the year I was born. And now you're not. Now the shame is gone.

Now you're like, no, there it is. Great for an audio medium. Woo! It's autumn. medium. Woo! Ah-dee-da, dee-da-dee-da, it's autumn. Ah. Oh, buddy.

November 18th. Thanksgiving's nary a week away. That's stupid. It's, this year's flown by. This year has flown by. In a way. In a big way. In a big way.

In a big way. Jeffrey, what is your day like? It is 10.14am. What, like, because I talked to you only but yesterday, so this morning, in the hours that we haven't spoken. In the wee small boat. What has your psyche

been through? Since then. And I appreciate you framing it in a way that's gonna allow this to not bring it down but I'm floundering you had the head gun you had the show last night we did a stand up show that was a lot of fun

it was at the office all outside Carly Kane was there, Steve Hernandez were there, very funny comedians avital did a set and uh niles abston who was fucking hilarious hell yeah and uh and then this morning i've been uh i woke up with not only a spring in my step but a gravelly quality to my voice which doesn't match how I feel. Huh. Huh.

And how do you feel? I feel, for lack of a better term, content. Okay. It does seem like you're lacking better terms. That sounds right for what you're feeling. Mm-hmm. And how are you feeling? And for lack of a better term, how are you feeling? For lack of a better term, I'm feeling spry.

I'm feeling spry i'm feeling spry for lack of a better term i'm feeling spry and i'm just like it really it last night i took a little drive because i was out of beans i was out of coffee beans and so i drove over to pete's uh in larchmont um that's where i get my beans um so if you're any pete's coffee heads out there cafe domingo it's the best bean medium roast fucking delicious coffee it's what i have twice a day i feel like la people who grew up in la love pete's yes um i love pete's and uh i i i mean like it was only a 10 minute drive and um it just felt because it was i went at like 4 45 so the sun was you know almost set and like larchmont is now like starting to get holiday-y so doing like a twilight drive into a coffee shop where they have all their christmas mugs up getting beans smelling that and then on spotify getting beans getting beans smelling that um

i felt so cozy i felt so fucking cozy it's been like over a year since we did the uh high and mighty episode on cozy yeah um so that was nice. So I'm now with my fresh bean coffee. And I'm feeling like a cozy girl. I say that in like a fucking cut off in a white t-shirt in Los Angeles. And I'm like I'm cozy.

But that's where I'm at. And so it's like speaking of cozy, speaking of holidays as where hey tis the season. You can're, hey, tis the season. You can say that again. Tis the season. Tis del season, which is all the time because Ashley is the love of my life. I don't know what else to say.

Yeah. We're talking about something that I think is like kind of the most, this is what everyone thinks of when I think of holidays. It's like, it's like, it's, it's impossible to think of holidays without thinking of what we're talking about today. It's everyone's obsessed. Everyone's obsessed. We can't get enough of this stuff. Especially I think people our age are obsessed with this.

Um, and like everyone, everyone stop. Whoa, stop clamoring. Yes. We're talking about centerpieces. Yeah. I have never thought about that. I love setting a table, though. You're very good at it. I now set my table based on how you set my table one time.

I'm like, that's how I want to do it. And I set it based on my sister's wedding planner. And she set it based on... Based on the tone. And she said it based on the tone. So she set the table and the tone for the night. Yes. Jeff, when you think centerpieces, as I know you often do, what comes to mind? Well, if I can A to C for a second, centerpiece makes me think of centerfold. Jesus Christ.

That's sort of what i'm gonna be eventually my blood runs cold my temperature is inhuman my baby is a centerfold and i am the baby i am the baby so i'll be the centerfold and the baby and yeah um do you do you own a centerpiece have you ever used one no i've never my mom has some of course every mom has a centerpiece there's nary a time where i'm like setting a table or having friends over that i'm like you know what you know i'm gonna bring out the good centerpiece. Something's missing. And I'll put like decorative balls on the table. Like that's never been a thought that I've ever had.

If anything, it's like flowers are nice, but it's like that's never, but then it's like they're in the middle of the table. You can't see someone across from you. Oh, I don't like the tall ones. I don't like tall ones, the tall ones either. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's like I like them around the house, but not in the middle of the table.

If anything, I mean, the way that you lay out like little tea light candles and you scatter them just so, that's ideal for me. Asymmetrical tea candles. And did I mention nature? The first time I saw Jeff in person, post-vax, Jeff came over for dinner with Daniel, Elizabeth, and myself. And there's a rosemary bush that grows outside of our house. And we're setting the table for dinner. Jeff lays out the candles just so. He's like, I'll be right back.

He goes outside. He comes back. He has plucked some rosemary sprigs from outside and just places them on the table. And it was lovely. That's more than enough, actually, with the secret revealing. Should we get to our first reveal? Yeah. Can I start us off? Please.

I wish. Hey, I wish you would. I wish you would. I wish you would. Okay. This is from Cynthia F. Okay. Cynthia Frownley. Like Brownlee, but kind of angry?

Yeah. Cynthia Frownley. This is for the creative converting train honeycomb centerpiece let me just show you this for a second I don't fucking think so this is what it looks like it's basically a paper train

with like a paper I don't even know what you would call that we'll post these on Instagram yeah so this is from Cynthia Frownley the title is even know what you would call that. Ruffle? Yeah, we'll post these on Instagram. Yeah. So this is from Cynthia Frownley. The title is Bridal Train.

No, I don't. No. No. Sorry. Just finished. Okay, I'll give my thoughts in a second. This is like, the centerpiece is like a plastic thing for a kid's birthday. It's like for a child's birthday. Yes. Okay. I'm glad we're on the same page. Four stars.

No. Another fashion show accessory. Use this tablecloth to make a train for your wedding assemble. Be creative on how you can turn this thing into a wedding veil. I have also used toy

trains. Just like the worst wedding planner ever. Oh my god, I can't believe that we were able to book you for our wedding. Toby and I are so excited, Raymond, to work with you. We have a couple of ideas of our own. We brought

a book. I don't know if that'll be helpful to you. We can look at it, but I kind of already an idea oh great people hire me like i'm kind of like the wedding planner to the stars and i know that's why i can't believe that we're here with you uh and and i i people hire me because i have a vision and you know some people find it hard to work with me i will say because it's hard for me to compromise on that vision. But from our initial call, you told me that you wanted to, you know, stay within budget was one of the main things. Yes. You wanted it to be fun. You didn't want it to feel too stuffy. Yes, exactly. And you wanted it to incorporate parts of your guys' personalities into the decorations. Yes. I don't want our wedding just to be like generic, you

know, like everyone else is like, I want it to be special to us and personal to our love story and, and what we want moving forward. I love that. I love that so much. I love love. That's why I became a wedding. Oh, this is so exciting. Okay. So, um, you know, let's maybe let's see with what, what you have. I'm sure it's incredible. I don't want to step on your toes, you know, you're the master. Um, and then. And then we'll jump off from there. How do we feel about plastic tablecloths with little designs on them, little trains, little – that's funny. Yes. So did you bring any linen options or did you – or thinking more you just want to go kind of like a bare wood? Or what were you thinking?

Oh, no, I was thinking patterned, plastic, superhero-themed tablecloths. Because... You bring out swatches. Yeah. They're like laid out really fancily, but they're all literally made out of like plastic, where if you would scratch it, it would like tear immediately. And so the idea here is that every table is the kid's table. Oh, you know, I see what you're talking about.

Keeping it fun. You know what? I think there might have been a little bit of a miscommunication. We want it to be fun and lively, but not necessarily like a fun house or like a child's birthday or something like that. So it's like we can have pop like I was thinking fun as in pops of orange or pops of, you know, a brighter color that isn't just kind of like a lot of beige tones. OK, so I'm so sorry that that was totally lost in translation there a little bit. No, you couldn't have been clearer. And again, I don't tend to compromise on my vision.

So there's already a little bit of friction here. Let's look at drinks. Let's look at drinks. Let's look at the drinks. So, sorry, what you're saying is we're locked into the plastic superhero tablecloth? I just, let me lay out the whole vision before, because I think it'll all come around where you feel, I think you'll feel good about it by the end of the presentation. Okay. I already don't feel good, but yeah. Listen, I think it's become taboo to discuss, you know, natural feeding versus formula. I'm sorry?

Are you talking about breast milk? I thought what would be fun is sort of a white Russian, but with baby formula. I'm going to stop you right there. This is, I'm at a loss for words. I'm only laughing because, you know, I've been imagining this day with the love of my life for as long as I can remember. And it is such an important moment of joining families and bringing the community together to celebrate our relationship. I think I can speak for myself and Toby when I say that I don't want our day to be overshadowed by a breast milk white Russian. I think that's not-

Are you worried it's going to be too heavy? Because there are baby formulas that are a little thinner. I'm worried about the thing itself. I'm not worried about what the consistency or the viscosity is. I'm worried about the concept. Okay, we'll talk about it more at the tasting. Food options. Oh my god.

Okay, just finish so we can... Yeah, just what? You mentioned that you used to have a pet bird. And I came up with the perfect way to incorporate that. What if the fucking dinner menu, right, was mama birded on the plate? So everything's pre-chewed. No, no. We started with fun.

That was the word that you latched onto. How did we devolve from fun to baby? Our wedding is not baby. You said you didn't want it to feel stuffy. What's less stuffy than a stuffy? A lot of stuffed animal. And this could be like the fucking ring bearer. No, we're done.

What? No. I need the money celebrities haven't come to me for a while what's more stuffy than a stuffy we should take

a quick break thanks to sponsors and we're back are you ready yes okay here we go this is for oh my god uh i'm gonna butcher this name i feel really bad. Villiajia. V-I-L-I-Y-A-J-I-A. Fake flowers in vase ceramics. Artificial flowers, table centerpieces, dining room, Halloween faux silk rose arrangements, bouquet kitchen. Got it.

So it's an Amazon review. It's an Amazon review and this is the, this is what it looks like. Okay. So it's kind of beautiful. White roses, et cetera. White roses, et cetera. Okay. This is five stars looks like. Okay, so it's kind of beautiful. White roses, et cetera. White roses, et cetera. Okay, this is five stars. Oh, wow.

From Jenny G. Jenny Garland. Jenny Garland? Yeah. Okay. Jenny Garland Taft. Jenny Garland Taft. That's it.

You don't get any more. Jenny Garland Taft. I. No, no. Five stars. Jenny Garland Taft. I... No. Jenny Garland Taft. Machine. Gun Kelly. Megan Fox.

Gun Kelly Taft. Okay, Jenny Garland Taft. Machine Gun Kelly Garland Taft. It's actually... No. No. Five stars. Machine Gun Kelly Ripa Taft. Garland Taft. It's actually, no. No. Five stars. Machine Gun Kelly Ripa Taft.

Garland Taft. Taft. No. There are three Tafts in the family lineage. I got it. Let's hear the review. The title is, the title alone. My home now looks like I successfully raised children. Talk about realistic. My mom

came over and asked where I got bouquets during COVID because she, like everyone that knows me, knows I can't keep a plant alive to save my life. Like can't barely grow grass in my gardens. It's sad really, but hello, savior. I now look like I have a Martha Stewart home with these bouquets, and no one asks me anymore how I could possibly keep children alive. Win-win in my book. Ordering more. That's so rude that people say that to her. She must be so bad.

How could you possibly keep... It's like, well, I love that she doesn't specify, like, plant children. Yeah. It's like, now people are like, how do you... Like, oh, you must raise your kids. And she's like, what? Joy? Mm.

Yeah, thanks so much for for coming yeah we just wanted to sit you down all your friends and family and um oh don't don't don't think of it as an inner oh what's that your hand what is that a scented candle yeah i mean i just i just picked it up from Crate and Barrel. Everybody in the room sighs relief. Wait, no, no, no. You know what? Never mind. Never mind. No, what's going on?

You are literally on the brink of saying intervention. What's happening? No, we were going to say you have a beautiful home, and now it's going to smell great, and it's going to be clean, and everything's going to be fine. Everyone's putting away their notes. Everyone's, yeah. And now we can just hang out. You guys had chairs set up in a semicircle facing the front door.

I'm barely two feet into my home. And you guys all, like this is what an intervention looks like. I'm not dumb. What's going on? Well, we all are a little embarrassed now. Rodney, you're here? No, I'm just a different guy. It's just a voice.

It's never been the same character. Everybody thinks that my name is Rodney, and every time it's just this voice that I have. I'm just a different guy. My name is Peter. Got it. Sorry, baby. You just remind me of someone who I know. Wait, so guys, please just be honest.

I mean, like, yes, I have this candle. Everyone's like, yes, the candle. Yes, the candle. Yes, I can smell it from here. It smells so good. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's. Oh, and thank God for your kids.

They're going to love it. They're going to absolutely love it. And now, you know, we're happy that you're finally stepping into being a mother. My kids are 12 and 15. What do you mean finally stepping into being a mother? No, I didn't mean it like that. Just let's have some wine. What did you mean?

No. We think that you're disorganized and not cut out for the job. We thought that until we saw the candle and now you're finally doing the damn thing. You're going to Bed Bath & Beyond. You're going to Bed Bath & Body Works. You're providing a safe space for your children, and we love to see that.

We really do. Yeah, we really, we're so happy for you. We're so happy for you, Joy. I'm sorry. Just in the nick of time. What? Just in the nick of time. What is that supposed to mean, Peter?

Sorry, Peter, just like chill, because you started getting angry. No, we just, we are all parents. We're all friends of your kids. Friends are all parents of your kids. You're all friends with my kids. Friends. No, that's a bigger issue. I I know that you guys come over here.

I host a lot of the events and you guys aren't thrilled with the decor. You see the dying plants. And yeah, maybe I don't have a green thumb, but my kids are top of their classes. They're on honor roll. They are on. They are varsity sports kids. They are leads of the school plays. They are happy, healthy kids.

I think those are all cries for help. I'm sorry, but those are all cries for help. The top of the class thing. Nobody needs that. Nobody needs that, Joy. A lot of people think they need it, Joy, but they really don't. Nobody needs that. Because what you want to have is you want to have an open dialogue with your kids.

And it's hard to have that if the home space isn't just so. Have you even talked to my kids about this? I mean, I think my kids and I have a pretty freaking good relationship. I feel like it's a very open channel. Okay, Joy, we wouldn't talk to your kids behind your back. That would be crazy. That would be not only a violation of their privacy, of your privacy, but it would also be a violation of your trust. So you don't know what they're feeling. What if I called them down here right now? What if I called them down here right now to see what they would say? Well, you know what? They're going to say anything to make you happy,

because guess what? A home without a centerpiece, they point to the coffee table, is a home where the truth can't come out. Everyone's solemnly nodding their heads. Yeah. It's unfortunate, but it's true, Joy. There's no truth that can happen. No, we wish it wasn't like this. We really wish it wasn't like this. But it is like this.

I'm sorry. So what you're saying is unless I have a decorative centerpiece on my coffee table, my kids won't talk to me? It's not about the centerpiece. It's about what the centerpiece represents. And what does the centerpiece represent, Peter? It represents organization. It represents giving a damn. It represents wanting your kids to see

what a happy life can be. Easy. Easy, Peter. You're getting really heated. Sorry. Yeah, I love my kids so fucking much. He really does. He's a great dad.

I love my kids too i am always there for them yes and this candle proves it but up until now what evidence have we had um you've i mean god what else i i i am i cook them meals every night we always have a family dinner together i tuck them in and even though they're like mom we, we're too old. Don't do it. What do you do? What do you do for your kids? Peter? What do I do for my kids? Yeah. I'm glad you asked.

I'm glad I asked you because it's already taking you way too long. I could list five things off the top of my head. You're repeating the question. Who's a bad parent now? Put up art on the walls that represent organization, that represent wanting to create a great home space. And guess what the art is of? What? Abstract. Then that represents organization?

Yes. And you think your kids feel safe in that environment? They've never said anything about it, but I know that it's subconscious because guess what? Tyler isn't doing too well in school, which means he feels comfortable with me. You need to talk to your kids. You need to talk to your kids.

No, no, no, no, no, no. No, you guys, I, see, Peter actively avoids his kids and drains all of his money into abstract art from Etsy. Sarah here. Sarah hasn't seen her kids in the better part of a year. Not because she can't.

It's because she travels for fun and doesn't want to be home. And you, Alexander, well, you think you're star parent of the year. But in fact, your kids hate you. Not for anything that you've done, but for all the things that you haven't. Well, you know what? Your kids, you can do the best you can. And we all do the best we can. Your kids will still find something to be angry at you for.

And that's okay. What's important is having throw rugs that show them that you're organized. None of this matters to your kid. I start reforming the chairs so it's turned in on you guys. Everybody kind of looks down and starts nodding. What you need to understand is that home decor has just about nothing to do with parenting. Your kids won't see a centerpiece, won't see a rug, won't see some art and think that's

organization. They'll think, oh, daddy's spending my college tuition money again. Mommy. And then you, Sarah, it doesn't seem like you even care about home decor. Well, no, she went on an Alaskan cruise. She went on an Alaskan cruise. I went on an Alaskan cruise. It was pretty spectacular.

Saw a lot of penguins. And you know what? Her kids are going to thank her for that growing up because you know what? They need a certain amount of slack on the leash and they need to know that their parents are still- And that's another thing, Alexander. You got to stop putting the leashes on your kids.

Well, no, because they will run away. They are 18 and 19 years old. They do not have leashes on them anymore. And in fact, I snap, everyone's kids comes down the stairs. Yeah. This is, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sweetie, you've gotten so big. What's my name, mom? What? What? That makes sense. Sweetie, you've gotten so big. What's my name, mom? What? Look around at the other parents.

What does that have to do with anything? Honey, don't be silly. Don't be silly. Come sit next to mama. Oh, that's funny. Come sit next to mama. No, mom. You went on the Alaskan cruise. You stayed on it for three seasons.

You didn't want to get off the boat. What's my name? Well, it's a beautiful name. It's a beautiful name. Yeah, that's okay. It is. This is horrible. This is exactly.

Yeah, I can't. If you would give me a hint, that'd be great. No, I'm not going to give you a hint. No, just give her a hint. Come on. You're well adjusted. It's Mia. My name is Mia.

Mia! No, I thought that it was like, that can't be it. I thought it was like Lil. Lil? You thought my daughter's name was Lil? I don't care. She's not a rugrat. Well, she's not a rugrat.

But she's not a rugrat. Didn't you get, didn't you get like a fondue kit? I'm pretty sure that you went to Williams-Sonoma. And I thought that you like sent me a Snapchat of it. I mean probably but what does that have to do with Mia? Or her name? And this is the issue. She's smiling. And this is the issue.

She's smiling out of contempt. I'm one of the other kids. Hey TC! I got into Pratt, by the way. And you didn't care to ask, Mom. I just figured you're a big boy. I don't want to pry into your life. You're going to tell me the things you want to tell me.

What are you doing on your phone? Is that a checkout? That's a bag. Listen. No, show us your phone. What are you buying? I have mine? You have your life. I have mine. You have your life. I have mine. Tickets. Yeah, those are tickets. I'm going to

niece. So what? You have a niece and you haven't talked to her. I was going to go to niece with my niece. I thought you wouldn't mind. Oh, wow. So you're going to go with my cousin, but we've never traveled together. This is such, you know what?

You have a lovely home, Joy, but I think we're gonna go. I'm darting. I'm like shooting darts at everyone. Thank you. I also think I have a lovely home. You know, since you got the candle, maybe. Peter, I'm gonna

give you five seconds to get out of my house. One of Peter's kids comes over with an abstract art piece, or your kids are going to throw these in the fire. What? Five. No. Four. No way, you're bluffing.

No. Peter has like two four-year-olds, and they're just silently holding them, holding them, paging above a flame. Two. No. They do Two. No. They do it. T-Rod, no!

It burns up immediately. He holds the ashes at his hand. My abstracts! I couldn't have foreseen this. Everything was going so well. I was parenting so good. Jesus. Do you want to do your next

review? This is a five star review from Joy B. Which I think I subconsciously pulled for this last one. Joy Boy. Joy Boy. And this is a review of an $149 black

metal centerpiece from Crate and Barrel. Got it. Five stars. I use this on my center island and my designer creates a new design each season. Classy sunflower for fall and houseplants, airplants

and succulents last spring i'm so sorry i'm late uh you know traffic and everything but uh i'm here and i have the plans for the uh the new seasonal decoration the new centerpiece and i thought we could go over it no thank you you know i'm sorry no it's it okay. I've just been a little bit of a distress because I've been sitting with the, the summer sunflowers for way too long and it's, it's October. It is October. And so I can't help but feel a little bit stressed. I usually he's here.

Liam. Oh, don't worry about it. I mean, we can just do it. You and me, you and me, not you, me and Lee. Liam isn't here. So that's okay, and we'll just do it together. And we'll just figure it out together. So I'm gonna need the sunflowers gone in about 30 minutes.

Okay, yeah, we can do that. So for fall, I thought that we could do sort of a gourd themed thing. Love it. Yeah, so it's pumpkins, muskmelons, and some... Yeah. Are you okay? I'm

great. I'm loving all of your ideas. I am loving it. Everything looks... Everything is fantastic. You keep on telling me what else. We got the pumpkins. We got the melons. What else we got? What else we got, Joy? We see she's, like, really disheveled. Yeah, it's because we can do this another time is all uh you just why would i need another time i don't think actually we need

another time because it's already too late it's already everyone else on the block has changed their decor and so i'm the only one here with with the summer sunflowers still so i think let's speed it up actually we don't need to slow it down okay because i Because I also didn't see Liam's car, and I know he works from home. I said Liam's out. I said Liam's not here. Okay. Sorry. I'm prying. And then basically there'll be also one of those horns, like the old wood horns that Vikings used to use.

Love it! Yes. Yes. Horn of plenty. Horn of plenty. Plenty of time for family. Plenty of love to give. Plenty of care and attention. Plenty of kisses. Plenty of time for family, plenty of love to give, plenty of care and attention, plenty of kisses, plenty of intimacy, plenty nights together, plenty candles lit around the room, plenty looks shared as we caress each other's bodies. Plenty of tears shed for the moments lost.

Plenty of tears shed for the moments found. And plenty heart to go around. That's what we always said. So I love the horn, Joy. I think the horn is a great idea. Did you just improvise a poem? Well, I'm flattered that that's how it came across. But no, I wrote that. I wrote that this morning.

So much sadder. And I just needed like i was doing some free journaling this morning yeah and so that's everything that came up and so you know what let's do this one for fall and then i'll just kind of set you up with the winter and spring ones too so i don't have to come back love it love it oh well you'll come back though right you'll come back i'll i think one of the people in the office might drop off the other ones. Are you going somewhere, Joy? No, I'll be here. Are you going somewhere, Joy?

Where did Liam go? I'd love to know. You don't even know. I wish I knew. I wish I knew. He said something about an Alaskan cruise. Okay. Well, we're going to do snowflake decorations for winter with a little bit of Christmas holly.

And then for spring succulents, I don't... So you do know he left with holly for the Alaskan cruise. I don't know who that is. I don't want to know this much about your life. I give you decorations. I'm your interior designer. Right? I make a lot of house calls.

I don't need this emotional dumping. I'm sorry. I've had a hard day. I was late because of traffic. You've had a hard day. Oh my. I'm sorry. I just, this is so unprofessional.

May I read another piece from my journal? I think it would just really help me move through. Please make it a short one and don't make it dripping with grief. Drip, drip, drip. Oh my God. Goes the coffee machine. Where is Liam? Nowhere to be seen.

I'm sitting here at the island. Sunflowers abound. This isn't good. My husband's not home. Never made a sound. What? I'm sad. Liam, come back.

Bad. That's the last line? That was my free journal You said make it short It's three pages long Free journal it rhymed It had an ABAB rhyme structure I can't help my poetic spirit

You don't have one You have an empty home You have a I'm sorry but you have a bad reputation. What? No, I just came from like two other houses and they were like, don't go to that house. And I said, no, she's a good person. What reputation do I have?

The block party, apparently you made a bad agretant. And that's what matters in these suburbs I was rushed for time god people are still talking about that why are you mad at me I'm mad because you're making me feel emotions that I don't need to

I don't want to feel sorry for you I pull out an empty journal from a drawer and a pen pass it to you Sorry for you. I pull out an empty journal from a drawer and a pen. Pass it to you. Journal it out. I don't want to... You want me to journal it out?

Journal it out. Fine, I'll journal it out. It's what my marriage counselor gave to me and it saved my goddamn life. I am done with people who aren't any fun. That's great. You're a poet and you didn't even know it. No, I'm being mean to you. Keep going.

Find another designer. And if you ask again, i'll have to decline her this is better than your poetry and i don't think that i'm good at poetry you know what you're a hell of a designer not really even you are and i fear that my reputation in this town will sink even lower if you and I part ways. So you can keep the journal. Thanks. I'll take the gourds. Yeah.

I'll take the snowflakes and the icicles. Wait, was it Holly LaGrange? Yeah. I love her. God damn it! Sorry, yeah, I shouldn't have said that. All right, should we do our last segment? Yes.

This should be all day long. If you listened to our, if you watched our Q&A Patreon stream yesterday, which was November 17th, then you already know this. The amount of joy I have received from a partially inflated balloon that I filled up with my own air, not even helium. Don't call it your own air. So it doesn't levitate. It floats just so when I kick it or when I throw it up or when I bounce it against a wall. It's fun for all. It is a little blue. It's the little balloon that could.

I blew it up maybe the better part of two weeks ago, and it still is kicking. And my God, you can have all the fun in the world with a partially blown up balloon. Let me just say that much. Let me just say that much. Let me just say that much. That's the item you'd take to a deserted island? Yes, because you can do anything with it. You can do anything.

Yesterday, Elizabeth threatened to pop it with scissors, and I was very scared. On the live stream. On the live, on the stream, and I was mortified. Yeah, you were mortified. I don't know. So that's, I guess what's shaking, yeah, so I guess to say it out loud.

Oh, it feels so good to say it out loud. Is a balloon, because I'm a child. Someone on the stream said, when Daniel and Elizabeth leave, Riley turns into a baby. Correct. When they're there, you turn into a baby. I'm baby. So yeah, so I guess the balloon is what's fucking shaking me. It's really come to this.

It's come to this. I wrote a couple songs. They're both fine. They're both B-minuses. That was something I always wanted to do. It was the hardest thing in the world to me. Finally, I struck gold slash inspiration and knocked those two out. That's awesome.

I want to keep writing music, yeah, and see what comes of it. Oh my god, that's so exciting. Yeah. Play it on the pod. Play it on the pod. I'll play the guitar solo on the pod. Play the whole song on the pod. No.

Play the whole song on the pod. One of them's really sappy and the other one's very graphic, so I don't really want to. Play the whole songs on the pod. Play the whole songs on the pod. One of them's really sappy and the other one's very graphic, so I don't really want to... Play the whole songs on the pod! Play the whole songs on the pod! that's so good Jeffrey uh the vocal tracks are bad but uh it's it was yeah it was fun to like it was fun to make music that's awesome hell yeah

yeah and now loose blows are going in my neighborhood um that was awesome I can't wait to hear more um you can actually find Jeffrey on Instagram at Jeffrey Jameson on Twitter at Jeff Boyardee you can find the show on Reddit r slash review review

Instagram review review Twitter at review review show and you can follow Riley on Instagram at Riley Anspa on Twitter at Riley Coyote and I think you should do that if you haven't already which would be crazy I think we should also thank some patrons. Thank some VI patrons.

Let's do it. I can't wait. Okay, here we go. You know what? I'm done with you, Connor. You're a coward and a prick and from day one you've irked me.

Sorry. It's okay. Christian side hugs for Chastity. Aaron. Aaron Coogan. Adam Shea. Agent Michael Scarn got sloshed at a Friendsgiving and is now kind of a persona non grata within his social circle. That checks out.

Aggie. Ako wants to turn shit around. She wants to be better to the people she loves. All right. Alex Witt. better to the people she loves. All right. Alex Witt. Always look on the pride side. Nice. And now a patron

who needs no introduction. So moving on. Bob Buell. Another week, another seven days. I am without my photos of Jeff at HeadGumLive. C'est la vie.

That's incorrect. I sent them to him. Oh, sorry. Brad Donaldson. Brad Hild. Brian, sorry. Brad Donaldson. Brad Hilde. Brian Dodd. Chuck. Chasten Bales.

Chief Queef. Come on, dude. Say it. Jeff A, Jeff B, Jeff C, Jeff D, Jeff E, Jeff F, Jeff G, Jeff J. Yeah. Cullen. Devin doesn't miss Fiona anymore. He's, well, fine now.

Dolly Parton. So it's Dolly Parton. He's, well, fine now. Dolly Parton. So it's Dolly Parton, but with, well, gas. Fancy octopus. Frito-Pray love. Gabriel Castaneda. Oh, Jesus. Gray Vigilante Nimbus. That's the best one. Yeah, man.

Keep it up. Don't say that to yourself. No, Riley didn't say that to him. He wrote that in. Gregberg Chapter 3 Parabellum. Hey, Jeff, could you please have anyone from Hey Riddle Riddle on the HeadGum Podcast, please? Gramestop GME new patron. Holly.

I get slicked down, but I rick up again. I'll never stop hounding Buell. Pay me back. I literally only subscribe to Forrest, Jeffrey, and Riley to say, Trans rights, XOXO. In a very real sense, TR. Jackson Hansel, meow. Jake Ullman.

Jameson Poncia feels honored that Jeff got a tattoo of the last happy memory I've had of Riley being 11. Oh, that's so funny. Jay. Jeff, either give me a hoodie or spell your name correctly. Love, Jack. Jesse Tipton. Jive Gosley.

John Quinones. Josh Jeffrey James Pike. Awful. JP again. Vicky Pagetti and Lizzie Olsen would have been Victoria and Elizabeth if Patreon didn't have a goddamn character limit. Just kidding. College is way more expensive than 10k, but

like 10,000 big ones from Jeff would be nice. No, I don't have that. I don't have that. Justin Goncalves. Shout out the theme song. Caleb lost his luster again. Friends took it. Jesus. So sad. Lauren Malang. Leah Puff. That's again friends took it jesus so sad lauren malang leah puff that's that's puff trying to get us to say new patron i think through a different way by just adding a different first name lord hunter

the ordained that's rice i'm ordained now maggie anderson malik mark priest michael beggle mo pete Maggie Anderson. Malik. Mark Priest. Michael Begel. Moe Pete, the cowardly dog. Mona Moore Raquel has given up on trying to get Jeff to pronounce her name right, so I instead will make him say, Moosh Lasagna knows what Jeff did and is going to tell the world. My hoodie has finally arrived. I can forgo my plans to kidnap Jeff and chain him in my basement. Nate Porteous is the patron saint of, well, me. What? finally arrived i can forgo my plans to kidnap jeff and chain him in my basement nate porteous is the patron saint of well me what neither a daniel nor a cluff be no it's rory and davier zoey landall nolan murphy feels like a failure he spends sleepless nights crying and wakeless days not working. Anyway, come to Brazil.

Come to Brazil. Not all that glitters is mold. Orange, you're glad it isn't Allie. Phoebe. Kwok. Rooster Williams. Soap. TJ Michael.

Warmed corned beef specifically. We are two Zardes away from baby Tuesday night! It frightens me that daddy Tuesday night's gonna be an actual father. I cannot believe this, you guys. One of our VA patrons is going to be a literal dad. I worry he's not gonna be organized. I'm not worried about that. He's a golden retriever

and a wife. That's true. He has a wife and a life. www.jeffreyjames.com was taken.com was taken .com was taken .com Yara Bouchard Yasmin David

ZZ and that's the show thanks for listening losers or even dare cheese but they were bettered by

oops I fell asleep and forgot to thank Damien Kirk but oh well he doesn't deserve it anyways that's true thank you to all

our VI patrons And for anyone who subscribes and wants more of our content Patreon.com slash Riley and Jeff Why would they want that? I don't know, I don't know But yeah, we'll see you guys again next week Right? For another episode of Review Review

Yeah Unless there's something you wanted to tell me. No, because we have this bonus episode, so I didn't know if it was coming out tomorrow. Yeah, anyway. But we'll see you guys again next week or on Friday. We'll see. And arrivederci.

That was a Hiddem Original.