Review Revue - Children's Science Museums
Episode Date: August 18, 2020Reilly and Geoff read reviews about children's science exhibits and discuss man-on-the-street gotcha journalism and firehouse babies.Want more from Reilly and Geoff? Check out The Headgum Pod...cast, wherever fine podcasts are downloaded!Follow Reilly and Geoff:IG: @reillyanspaugh & @iamgeoffreyjamesTwitter: @reilecoyote & @dontplaynojamesAdvertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a HeadGum Podcast.
Get that Angel Reef special at McDonald's now.
Let's break it down.
My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course.
And don't forget the fries and a drink.
Sound good?
I'm participating in restaurants for a limited time.
Hello.
Welcome to Review Review this week.
Before we jump into the episode, I just have something that we would like to plug.
I'm sure everyone is very aware of the unbelievable tragedy that happened in Lebanon with the explosion.
And so we would like to share a link I donated to last week.
It's on LaunchGood, the website, and it's called Lebanon Needs Us.
They're trying to raise a million dollars to help provide health kits to be used in hospitals in Lebanon to really help back up those medical workers there who are doing so, so, so much work in the wake of just an insane tragedy.
So I will put that link in my bio, the Review Review bio.
If you can donate, that'd be amazing.
There's so many, so many great causes to donate to regarding Lebanon.
So this is one that I'm promoting.
If you find any others, please share them.
We'll continue to share ones that we find.
And if you can't donate at this time, please continue to share.
So thank you so much.
And now let's get into the app.
I just wanna know how you feel
For the one love that's so proud and real
You make me wanna go out and steal
I just wanna wreck you Bang! I wanna start off this episode insanely high energy.
I'm coming out of nowhere with this fucking, this steez, this swagger this week.
Guess what, Anspa?
Oh my god, what?
I was really bad at science growing up.
Okay, okay.
And it kinda made me feel like I was a little bit of a dummy because like
my science. Yeah. All right. What'd you say? No, I said, all right. Sorry. I just was kind of stuck
on the word steez. I got bullies by my elementary school science teacher Z's. In Belize. In Belize.
So we basically took a school trip to frankly a spring break hotspot. And so I was in a mankini in a way, and she kind of like came up from behind me, pulled the thong back and strapped, let go.
Snapped it.
Yeah, snapped it into on my back, leaving a red mark for all to see. And my cheeks rosy. What have you been up to recently?
Again, not everything has to rhyme that was recent
for you that was clearly in your youth in school that was almost a decade past yeah what have i
been up to recently playing ping pong like nobody's fucking business how about that
cash me with table tennis how about that um The Rashids have ping pong in their backyard because Daniel's grandfather, his maternal grandfather, was like the two time champion of Hungary.
Like when he was like 17, he was a two time table tennis champion.
In the Olympics?
No, just in Hungary.
He was the Hungarian champion.
Okay.
And so all of the Rashids are very good at ping pong,
and so we've been having these tournaments,
and everyone has an insane top and back spin.
I was going to ask about spin, yeah.
I'm working on my top spin.
My top spin's getting a lot better.
But because of that,
so when Daniel and I played,
Daniel, at first, his top spin was insane a lot better but because of that so when daniel and i played daniel like at first his top speed was insane so he would he would win from that but then i got my top speed top spin up and so then i started beating him and then he's like okay now i have to excel
in something else so his serves he gets me on like it's insane his serves are crazy his brother's
serves are even crazier and his dad puts backspin on everything it's just it's unbelievable we played i've never
played doubles ping pong before and we did it yesterday and it is chaotic and incredible that
sounds really hard you have to take turns hitting the ball so it's like one person hits and then
you immediately have to sprint off exactly it's unbelievable but so much fun it sounds it's cardio
it really is it really is. It really is.
We're going on another bike ride today.
Okay.
And you're going to wobble hither and thither.
I really, this bike ride is a two-hour round trip.
Are you getting better or what's happening?
Well, I haven't gone since last time we spoke.
Spoke.
Spoked.
Because spoke's on the bike.
Bespoke post.
The spoke's on the bike.
Go spoke, spoke, spoke. Bespoke post. Bespoke post.
No, let's really get into it. So, yeah, no, I am getting into it. I'm saying that today Daniel's mom was like, Riley, are you, are you okay with the bike ride? And in my head, that's like, Nope. Yep.
Riley, are you ready for the bike ride?
Nope.
Do you want to go?
Yep.
Yep.
So yeah, I showed Daniel that part of the episode,
and he was just dying.
And I'm like, I was an indoor kid.
And he's like, I know.
You're an indoor cat.
I'm an indoor cat.
Jeff, what have you been up to other than getting your ass snapped by a teacher in Belize?
When you put it like that, I don't know if I'll be able to top it.
Not a lot.
I finished my sample pilot, which I'm excited about.
I know you're busy, but I'm going to send it to you because you have a road trip and i'd love to get your thoughts i have nothing else to do on the road that's well that's i'm gonna kind of take advantage of that and kind of get your thoughts and you kind of basically
chide you and kind of poke and prod being like have you read it yet have you read it yet and
this will be every hour on the app yeah bump bump bump bump and um no but i'm excited about that
that's pretty much it just still hanging out at families with family my brother-in-law Jack has different families
different families yeah so
what I'll do is I'll kind of show up on people's
doorsteps wearing a baby outfit
in a basket sitting in it
basically being like I'm an orphan
will you take me in
only like your leg can fit
in the basket
it's just my butt and then everything else is hanging out.
You're like, Gucci, I'm a baby.
Take me in.
You don't take me in.
You're kind of a bad person.
It was either this or the fire station.
I've been shoving myself in a basket on the stoops of firehouses.
What?
Do you have any idea what's going on in the world?
What?
What?
Oh, funny. um what oh funny um but i mean when you think about what kids are into in terms of baskets and families you can't help but think of our topic this week children's science museums that's museums. That's ice age exhibits.
What are your experience with
children's science museums,
Ansela? Well, when?
Are we talking about when I was a kid or like
this past January?
Well, I mean, the second one is obviously a little bit more
interesting, seeing as you're, what, 24?
Mm-hmm.
So,
I mean, I love a science museum.
I love a children's science museum because they're interactive because like it's much more fun than just kind of looking at a diorama and being like, hmm.
Like it's, I remember going, so the place I have a review for, I remember going with my dad and there was like I think it was about the physics of like
it was a bed of nails and then it's like you could lie
on the bed of nails on the bed and like the
nails would rise up and how it like wouldn't
impale you rather than if it was
just one nail or like two
nails in different parts but because it's a
whole so I remember like I was
way too I was really young and I was way too scared to
do it and my dad was like
oh I'll do it and I was like freaking out for him I was really young and I was way too scared to do it. And my dad was like, oh, I'll do it.
And I was freaking out for him.
I was so nervous.
I was so terrified that he would die.
You thought you were going to lose a father.
I really did.
I was looking at him and I was like, will no one help him?
Everybody else is having a great time.
Oh, look at that.
Grabbing somebody by the collar.
You got to help me, man.
You got to help me.
That's my old man. That's my old man on the nails. Grabbing somebody by the collar. You got to help me, man. You got to help me. That's my old man.
That's my old man on the nails.
You're in black and white.
But then I'll explain because the review I have is about the exhibit I went to in January.
But I think they're super fun.
I think it's a great way to spend a day. And I can imagine when I have a family of my own that it keeps the kids entertained and they're learning.
And it's good times for all.
Yeah.
That's fun.
What about you?
I would often go to the Great Lakes Science Center, Cleveland, Ohio.
Sure.
Basically being enthralled with IMAX.
Fucking Earth documentaries in a roundabout theater.
A theater in the round, IMAX or otherwise. And IMAXed earth documentaries in a roundabout theater, a theater in the round IMAX or otherwise.
And I maxed out on science.
You reached a threshold.
That's why you were so bad, because you already you in took a certain limit.
Exactly.
Like everybody has a science threshold.
And I've always said this.
Basically, like you can only handle so many facts, figures, diagrams and exhibits.
And I would use it up.
And I would go to the science center before school.
So by the time, you know, noon rolls around,
we all just had lunch and I'm in the science room.
You had no room.
I was gone.
I just turned my brain off.
Yeah.
No, I don't remember any specific exhibits,
but I do remember loving the IMAX stuff.
Because they would have the Earth documentaries
and space documentaries.
I love space.
Space is awesome. Yeah. I also love, you know what i was thinking about the other day is that like nasa and you know the sputnik missions those the space race obviously peaked in the 60s and
70s like so when you when we think about space music it's like music from that time you know
what i mean that's pretty cool like artists were
commissioned by nasa to make something that sounded like space but it was in the 70s okay
right now what right now uh you can kind of throw something down
no i just for those of you who aren't well acquainted with
those jeff just kind of ran the gamut of like sound effects that he makes for everything. Easy. Especially, fring.
So Jeff just kind of cycled through his list of sounds.
His Foley sounds and just set them in space.
One of the last things,
we might have already talked about this on the show,
but one of the last things you and I did before,
well,
last things I did before quarantine was we went to Rumble, the boxing place, and I did before, well, last things I did before quarantine was, uh,
we went to rumble the boxing place and you drove.
And so when,
when my,
when friends of mine drive,
I'll often,
really?
No.
Yeah. Oh,
you're right.
I was,
it was my first time in your car.
Your new car.
You know what?
Forget the story then.
Cause it makes no sense.
Come on,
come on.
No,
it's okay.
When other people drive me around and they're like coming to a stop or parking i'll just go
like they just slowly don't stop and total their bumper
it really puts people on edge i love you using fring like for any kind of sound
everything can kind of make fring
in a way, you know?
It's the sound of a blade coming out of an
ancient sheath. Daniel
will often say to me, you love a sound.
Because I will often recreate, like
if he's making breakfast, taking things,
I will kind of make sound effects as he
goes along. Sizzling bacon, etc.
I'll be like...
And then he'll be like making, etc. I'll be like... And then he'll be like
making tea
and I'll be like...
That's so
fucking funny. I love
being a Foley artist in real life.
I had
a friend in high school named Chris Foley
and I used to make jokes about how he was
destined to be a Foley artist.
That'd be a fun job.
But it's like we're here.
This is the easiest job in the world.
We show up for an hour a week and we get
$$$.
This is blood, sweat
and sometimes tears.
Tears of joy though. Tears of joy, right?
Because it's a lot of fun.
Sometimes Johnson & Johnson, no tear shampoo.
Meaning?
You know?
They're not an ad sponsor.
Meaning I'll kind of like get, I'll put that in my hair so that I don't shed a tear.
That didn't rhyme.
When I'm holding a shower beer, which I've never done.
Maybe next time we shower, we should just have, we should do a shower beer and then kind of recap the experience.
Because I've also never had a shower beer.
I might do a shower cider.
I haven't had a cider in a minute.
Anyway, Jeff, would you like to read?
Wow, and on that note.
Read your review, dude.
Oh, wait, should we take a break first?
We should take a break.
What are you going to think about on the break well i'm
gonna think about marty basically he i don't think i mean i don't know if he put his off i think his
offer on the house i think it got denied man it's still on it's still on zillow and and i don't
think it's a money thing because he's obviously rich but i just think that it's his personality
it's his cover letter because you know what it's because he's a rich bitch so i think that's kind of what it is it's like it's fine if he's rich but
you can't be rich and be a bitch marty marty 525,600 dollars
that's how much money
money I want
bare minimum
for me to consider myself
a successful guy
in business class.
All right, this is five stars.
Oh, my God.
Great Lakes Science Center in downtown Cleveland, Ohio.
From Adam H.
Adam, help me.
Sad?
Okay.
It's the Great Lakes Science Center.
What's not to love about it?
I have to say, though, my favorite thing about this place is trying to convince people that the giant windmill outside powers the Science Center and the Cleveland Brown Stadium.
I always get someone with that one, and it brings joy to my heart every time.
A true Cleveland landmark.
I definitely recommend. This dude camps out of the Great Lakes Science Center with his own kind of prank show to try and convince people.
All right.
Welcome back to Gotham.
With me as never before is, what's your name?
I'm Sandy.
Sandy.
We just wanted to get your thoughts on some of the new additions to the Science Center and to downtown Cleveland area.
Oh, absolutely.
Absolutely.
So do you see this windmill right here, right above where we're standing?
Yeah, I mean, it's a classic landmark.
Would you believe that it powers the whole friggin' town?
Oh, it sure looks like it, right?
It's a big one.
It's a big one.
It really is.
And it does that.
Do you think that?
Do you think it does? Do I think this windmill powers the whole town correct oh um i guess like
i guess it depends on how much how much wind we get you just for the sake of the video can you
just say yeah i fully believe that just something like um where is this video going it's going on
the internet it's going to be everywhere i'm going to pay for like a lot of ad space so basically
i'll cross promote on facebook i'll cross it's a lot of It's going to be everywhere. I'm going to pay for a lot of ad space. So basically, I'll cross-promote on Facebook.
A lot of people are going to see it.
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, I fully
believe it.
Thank you for saying those words, but I want to believe you.
Again, just whenever you're ready.
Sorry, I thought this was an unscripted
just kind of interviewing about the Science
Center. It's man on the street.
People don't understand that Billy on the street is tightly. So, but what you don't, I mean, people don't understand that like Billy on the street is
tightly scripted.
Really?
I don't know.
Probably.
I think the whole point is that it's not tightly.
Sorry.
My, my, my kids are getting really, really anxious.
All right.
Yeah.
You know what?
Go to the science center.
Um, excuse me, ma'am.
Yes.
Um, oh, you're so sweet.
Uh, I was wondering if I could maybe interview you for my science talk show.
It's sort of an interview.
Oh, young man, I'm so thrilled to see people making shows about things everyone needs in life.
You know, none of this cake boss nonsense.
I would love to be part of your program.
How can I help?
Great.
Just stand right here.
And all right.
All right.
We are here with.
Lean.
Okay.
Can we do that again?
And can you just say your name is like Martha or something?
Because like lean is going to kind of be.
If it goes viral, it'll be because of your insane name.
It won't be because of my content.
All right, we'll take a name.
That's a family name.
Your first name is a family name?
No, it's a name that's been passed down from generation to generation.
So are you like Lean the fourth or something?
I'm really struggling to understand.
How did you know?
We are here with Martha. Martha, why don't you tell us a little bit about what brought you to the Science Center?
Well, I live pretty close by and, you know, as a retiree, I don't have too much going on.
But I like to take my daily walks around the area, come in, catch an IMAX movie, which kind of blows me
away sometimes. You know, they didn't have those when I was your age. So I just, it's a nice little
treat for me. So you say you're retired. What was your job when you were kind of a young woman?
I was a baker. And now the arthritis has taken over these withered palms, these paws of mine, and so I'm kind of, I'm out of my trade.
Okay, so let's say you, so do you own a bakery in the area?
I do, I own a bakery in the area. It's called Lean's Cuisine. Okay. I'm going to cut the camera here.
Lean's Cuisine.
Isn't that like a microwavable dinner thing?
Excuse me?
Never mind.
Enjoy your day at the Science Center.
Wait, wait.
I want to hear part of your story.
You seem like such a sweet boy, and I want to help in any way I can.
You haven't asked me nearly a thing about science.
All right.
No, you're right.
You're right.
I just, I've been here for like almost two hours, and everybody's been pretty rude to me.
All right.
We're rolling.
Really?
I'm so sorry to hear that.
Martha, do you see this windmill right above us?
You keep calling me Martha, but my name is Lean.
Fine.
You know what?
Lean.
Lean.
We're here with Lean.
What do you think about this windmill?
I think it's just beautiful.
I think it's a great addition to this city and this landscape.
And would you believe it powers the whole city?
Well, I didn't know that.
That's pretty incredible.
Cool.
We got what we needed.
That was amazing, Lean.
Well, does it power the whole city?
It does not.
Young man, I didn't get your name.
Whoa.
It does not power the whole city? It does not. Young man, I didn't get your name. It does not power the whole...
It's just for show.
It's actually, I think, just like...
It used to power something, but now they brought it here just to show the power of wind power.
But I've been kind of out here.
It's actually a funny story.
I've been out here trying to convince people like suckers.
Well, not suckers, because you're basically just well-meaning people that the windmill powers the whole city.
Because it's kind of like a joke for the show.
So it doesn't power the whole city.
No, obviously not.
So you've been making us look quite foolish then, haven't you?
Well, I mean, when you say it like that, it sounds kind of ill-intentioned.
But it's actually supposed to make people laugh is all.
Well, I can tell you one thing right now.
It's not making me laugh.
Not making me laugh at all.
In fact, I feel quite silly now.
God, look at me.
I'm a doddering old fool.
No, Aline, I didn't.
I'm sorry.
It's not.
It wasn't supposed to be.
What's your name?
I didn't get your name.
My name is Derek.
My name is Derek.
Derek, does your mother know where you are?
She knows I live in Cleveland, but, I mean, we don't talk every day.
I'm 40.
You don't talk to your mother every day?
No, I don't.
Well, maybe that's why you're out here making fools of us all, Derek.
I'm sorry. Now I feel horrible. I'm going to call my mom.
Do it. I'd like to watch this.
All right.
Mom?
Derek?
Yeah, hi.
So I'm at the Science Center.
Derek, are you okay?
I'm fine, yeah.
I'm at the Science Center, and I'm talking to Lean.
You don't know her.
This woman, this old woman.
I just wanted to call you.
I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay.
I'm making this video.
Tell her you love her.
I love you, Mom.
Whoa, was that...
Her name is Lean. I think it's spelled L-I-G-N-E.
We were doing
this video, basically.
Let me try it out on you, because I know that you're like...
Okay, so basically... No! Don't do it
to your own mother! There's this windmill
above the... Don't do what to me? Derek, what's going on?
Would you believe that a windmill powers the whole city?
Oh, Derek, you're doing this shit again.
Derek, come on.
It's not shit.
It's supposed to be funny.
I'm supposed to get on The Daily Show for this.
Derek, your brother is a plastic surgeon.
He is fixing children with cleft lips and palates.
Really?
And what are you doing?
Well, I was going to make people laugh.
You're standing on the street making fun of an old woman?
For the sake of thousands, though.
Because if people see it, then it'll be like, is it like to make one person's feelings hurt?
Thousands?
Yeah, it's going to be on the internet, Lean.
You know the internet?
No.
Forget it.
Mom, I have to go.
Wait, Derek, please just come home once in a while.
I know.
You always say that, but you never do.
I don't really, I can't because I'm trying to make it big in Hollywood is all.
You're in Cleveland.
It's a stepping stone, a lily pad.
Steve Carell was in Chicago for a year.
Well, you're not Steve Carell and that's not Chicago.
All right.
I know.
It's just because Chicago is expensive.
So you are going to pay that old woman for her time.
How much? You're going to delete the footage and you're going to pay that old woman for her time. How much?
You're going to delete the footage.
And you're going to move back to Baltimore.
I already did.
You're not.
What do you mean?
Put me on with lean.
You're on speaker.
Excuse me, Miss Lean?
Yes, am I speaking to Derek's mother?
You are.
I just want to apologize for my son's behavior.
It's not.
I didn't do anything that bad.
You don't have to apologize on their behalf.
Since his girlfriend broke up with him in college.
And he's been reeling for 20 years about it.
It's been a while.
Oh, well, that's very, that's sad on many accounts.
I know.
I agree.
So I want to make sure that Derek pays you for your time.
How can he do that? She owns a bakery. Why do I have to make sure that Derek pays you for your time. How can he do that?
She owns a bakery.
Why do I have to pay her?
Well, you don't necessarily need to pay me in money.
Well, how else can he help?
I've been getting into painting lately.
Fuck.
No way.
I don't want this.
You would like him to help you paint?
This is so much worse than giving you money.
This is so much worse.
You're going to fucking make me paint with you?
Well, no, not exactly.
Because of the arthritis in the hands, I want you to paint me.
What?
Cut to him painting her.
She's sipping wine surrounded by fruit.
She's nude.
How is it looking?
It's something for the eyes to see. I'm not going to say if it's positive or negative. She's nude. How is it looking? It's something for the eyes to see.
I'm not going to say if it's positive or negative.
Yeah, here.
Turns the easel.
Derek!
You've captured my eyes beautifully.
It's not the part of the painting
that people are going to stare at.
Can we take a break?
This is just like a lot for me.
What's wrong?
It reeks of rotten strawberries in here.
You're so excited.
The music is so classical.
I don't know how much longer I can take without a break.
Well, we can take a break if you'd like.
I'm sorry. I didn't know you were so upset.
I just, this has been not what I wanted it to be.
I thought I was going to get on The Daily Show,
and now I'm here in your arboretum,
painting you nude next to fruit and plants.
What is this even for?
You're going to hang this in your own house?
What if I told you that I lied about owning a bakery?
What?
I didn't want to intimidate you.
I built that windmill,
and I have known about you
for years Derek I know
your whole game a camera crew
comes out
what
gotcha Derek
you pull off the mask and Steve Carell
what is this
this is for the daily show
this is insane
Derek's mom comes out, oh, we
got you, Derek! His ex-girlfriend
from college, we got you!
You dated before the show?
I'm being Truman-showed! This is
absolutely illegal,
I think. This is, right?
Lean.
Imagine lean on lean cuisine okay this is a review for the california science center
an exposition park an exposition an exposition park okay this is from kim t
sao with the t so like general sao's chicken yeah kim sao five stars from june 7th 2019 when god created this soul
it was pure its heart was full of unconditional love you give it love it'll give it back to you
tenfold the bond that it forms with you is like no other and everlasting however once it departs
from this world the pain is like no other as well. When it
crosses over to the rainbow bridge, you hope that one day you'll soon meet again. Until then, you'll
always remain thankful for the love, trust, protection, and companionship that it taught
and gave you. And that soul God created was called Dog. I'm so glad that the California Science
Center decided to showcase an exhibit called Dogs, a Science Tale, running from March 16, 2019 till January 5, 2020. This lovely 9,000 square feet exhibit showcases and honors
the history of man's and women's best friend. From the dog's humble and ancient beginnings to now,
how they've become a human's most trusted allied companion, especially when working alongside each
other. It's an interactive exhibit that both adults and kitties will get a kick out of. Along with learning facts and tidbits
about dogs, you'll also get to experience what it's like acting like a dog from seeing, sniffing,
barking, and hearing from a dog's point of view. They also have dog demonstrations. Once you reach
the end of the exhibit, there'll be a doggy gift shop
i would have bought stuff but they didn't have a lot of selection on my favorite breed the german
shepherd sad face i i came on a friday and got to see the last part of the dog demo these three
ladies and their three dogs from the pets unstressing passengers pup group from the la
world airports were teaching a group of kids on the proper commands of stay and come.
Afterwards, we all got to pet the three dogs while they passed out trading cards of each dog's background. Overall, I had a great time visiting Dogs, a Science Tale exhibit. I highly recommend
checking this exhibit out. Regardless if you're a dog lover or not, at the end, you definitely
appreciate dogs and love the trust, protection protection and companionship that they have for
humans woof woof so daniel and i went to this exhibit right at the beginning of january and we
had the best time it is it was very very fun um there were so many field trip kids there but um i when i read this review and saw the first
paragraph my jaw fucking dropped there's a lot there's a lot here um the thing that also really
got me was the trading cards for each dog oh man tyler you Tyler. You got a Mookie Betts
rookie baseball card?
Dude, I got LeBron James rookie.
I'll trade you LeBron for Mookie Betts.
Oh, man.
Hey, Peter.
Hey, guys.
How's it going? Are you trading today?
Yeah, we're trading some cards.
I see that you have a deck in your hand.
What are those cards?
Oh, fellas, you aren't going to believe the load that i brought you today oh babe ruth what are we talking
derrick jeter oh my god you wish i do all right i really do wish all right well it's not those so
how about you sit down and uh watch watch the old pete to lay them out all right um we're gonna
start easy all right we're to start easy. All right.
We're going to start easy.
Let's just say I took a little trip, field or otherwise, this past week and collected some pretty stellar companions along the way.
Yu-Gi-Oh?
What are we talking?
Oh, again, you would love for it to be Yu-Gi-Oh.
I would love for it to be Dragon Ball Z or Yu-Gi-Oh.
Shih Tzu.
It's a piece of paper, flimsy, clearly something you just printed out and cut out.
So the Shih Tzu has five points for kind of cuteness, right?
It's got three taken off for the grooming aspect of it, but overall, it's a pretty incredible card.
This one's name was Remy, so put that off to the side. Now, I can tell,
I can tell you're like, oh, but what else he got? What else does old Pete got? Well, let me show you
this. Doberman Pinscher, anyone? Yeah, I'll take two LeBrons for the price of this Doberman, okay? His name, Rex.
And finally,
la pièce de résistance.
And, you know, hey,
don't clamor for it all at once.
We can make trades accordingly.
We can make trades accordingly.
Australian Shepherd.
Peter, my mom volunteers
at Rescue Village, the shelter. And it's unfortunately not a no-kill shelter.
And I recognize all three of these dogs.
These were the puppies that had to be put down last week.
And you seemingly turned them into trading cards and printed them out.
Didn't even laminate them.
Very flimsy.
That one just, yeah, the Doberman one just flew away in the breeze.
Oh, can someone at least try and grab it?
Thanks.
I just think, I mean, it's creative, but I just feel like it's kind of in poor taste a little bit.
I wish I could agree, but I can't help but thinking that, like, what better way to have their legacy live on than in a trading card?
Than to give them points for cuteness or not?
Cuteness, grooming, temperament,
and just kind of overall score.
And teeth.
That's one too.
Teats?
Do you want to trade or not?
Because these are limited edition,
as in there's only one of each,
and these are them.
I'd actually like to trade.
Trent, what are you talking about?
No, they're pretty kind of cool.
I can laminate them myself.
Let me get the Australian Shepherd,
and I'll give you...
This is a signed Derek Jeter
rookie card. Are you kidding me, man?
I don't know. That's worth a thousand dollars.
The Australian
Shepherd one's kind of worth a lot. I might need
you to sweeten the deal there,
Trent. He drives a hard bargain.
No, he doesn't.
There's like nine of these.
There's only one of those. Oh my fucking god.
I will give you okay, signed Derek Oh my fucking God. I will give you, okay.
Sign Derek Jeter a rookie card and I'll give you, pulls out a checkbook.
I'll give you $1,000 on top of that.
Where are they getting this cash?
We're nine.
All right, you know what?
It's a pretty good deal.
I'll take it.
Hey, just, hey, treat her well, okay?
I will.
I will.
Respect her memory.
Takes it, runs off.
I can't believe that just happened.
You just made $1,000, potentially more if you sell the card.
Why would I sell the card?
It's for keeps and trades, right?
I mean, you think, what, he's going to sell that Australian Shepherd trading card?
No way, that's one of a kind.
I mean, you wear a lot of cool backpacks.
I can only assume that this was some kind of big cash grab,
trading nothing for something.
Sorry, did you just say nothing?
Did you just say nothing?
You printed something onto printer paper and cut it out.
I could do that tonight.
Cut to the next day.
Comes in.
Here, I have nine Doberman Pinscher cards.
Here's another Australian Shepherd.
Now they're rendered useless.
Anyone can do this.
Guess what else?
Golden Retriever, Labrador Retriever.
What do you want for the lab? What do you want for the lab?
What do you want for the lab?
Easy, man, easy.
No, what do you want?
You can take the sheets.
You can take all my Doberman Pinschers.
I'll make a Rottweiler one tonight if you want that.
Come on, man.
I got to have it.
Cut to the principal's office.
What is going on between you two?
He won't let me have the lab card.
That's what I'm saying, man.
Steven, can you just give Peter a Labrador card?
Can you just print it out?
I'm happy to.
This whole thing started because Peter started printing things and then trading them for thousands of dollars.
I just think that was a little immoral.
How is it immoral?
I'm printing photos of dead shelter dogs.
Yes, that's exactly right.
How is that immoral?
Personally, I think it crosses the line.
I think it's not honoring their memories.
And when my mom works night and day
to try and give these dogs homes.
Steven, let's just think about this
for a second. Because in a way, what Peter's done
is given them permanent homes.
What? Knock, knock, knock. Excuse
me. Sorry, I'm here to pick up
Steven. I'm his mom. Mom, thank God.
Oh, Peter, I'm so glad you're
here. I have some more photos. We
had a couple chihuahuas that came in this week,
so you can add these to your order.
So sorry to interrupt.
Stephen, I'll be waiting in the car.
Cut to their high school reunion 30 years from then.
Yeah, so I'm working in marketing.
It's not a great job, but, you know, pays the bills.
Peter comes in.
His suit is made of gold.
Clink, clink, clink. Breaking the basketball arena's floor. This suit is made of gold.
Breaking the basketball arena's floors.
Holy shit.
Hey there, Stevie boy.
No.
Wait.
Okay, really quick.
This is a tangent. This reminds me of when I was like, I think I must have been like nine.
My friend and I, instead of doing a lemon, like my brothers and I had a competition,
my stepbrothers, to see like what kind of kid business venture could make more money
in a couple hours.
Right.
So they like, they did a lemonade stand with like cookies and lemonade and everything.
And my friend and I were like that's lame we're
gonna make we're gonna draw posters and go door to door and so they weren't even posted they were
truly just like like hand-drawn pictures on printer paper from two nine-year-olds and we're
going door to door like trying to sell like these drawings of cats did you sell any yes because
people felt bad for us of course yeah like it's like a 25 year old trying to do like these drawings of cats did you sell any yes because people felt bad for
us of course yeah like it's like a 25 year old trying to do like a tech startup and people treat
him the same way as like you and your friends selling like fine art he's at a investor pitch
meeting so uh yeah it's an app that basically tracks uh eating habits uh throughout the day
you have to input it i, I know that there are a
couple of apps that are like this, but I think ours are different. It's basically a calorie tracker.
Oh, wow. Oh, my God. You made a calorie tracker. That's so fun.
Yeah. Well, I mean, it's really useful. So basically, I mean, we put this is like two
years in the making and the way that it's different. You spent a lot of time on this,
huh? You must have spent a lot of time on that. That's a lot of work in that. Yeah, it is. It's different from the Livestrong My Calorie Pal because basically it comes with this accompanying watch.
And this is a bundled package that sells for only $25.
Oh, my God.
Hey, you should be so proud of that work.
Yeah, we are.
Because it checks your heartbeat and it has a little pinprick that you can use once a week and it can check your cholesterol and stuff.
It's basically, we like to sell it as a doctor's checkup once a week, but in an app.
Oh my God!
Like an apple a day keeps doctor away.
It's more just about the decentralization of business and people's lives.
Instead of everybody going to their local thing, a lot of things are increasingly on the internet.
And so this would basically eliminate the need for a yearly checkup.
Wow.
You've got a lot of big ideas.
We do.
Yeah.
We actually got VC funding already from Union Square Ventures.
That's incredible.
Look at you.
What?
Okay.
You know what?
Hey, I'll take it.
You know what? I'll go for one. I'll go for one. How about that i'll take i'll take it you know what i'll i'll go for one i'll go for
one how about that okay i'll take it it's yeah it's 35 for the watch and the app 35 whoa okay
i mean it uses the same uh proprietary uh well don't tell this to anybody but it uses the same
proprietary technology as the apple watch and the apple watch Watch is like $300, so it's actually a bargain. Oh my god. He knows his stuff.
Look at him. He knows his stuff.
Alright, hey, I will take one for...
How about let's say $27 and we'll call it a day.
It's not really a bargainable price.
Also, I was actually asking you to invest,
and you're just offering to buy one product, so
we were looking more for like $3 million
for 15%.
For 15% of a company
that's evaluated at like over $25
in the first two years
I'll take one
and then we'll see where it goes from there
alright I think we don't care
I love the work you're doing
and I'm so
impressed and so excited
for you please let me know how it goes
but I would love to
take one and know that i'm
helping get this thing off the ground it's already off the ground we've sold 100 000 for the first
in the first six months uh we have nine more vc funds to meet with throughout the day and i really
hope that is so exciting it's really exciting we have a whatsapp chat actually about your um
about your company here what do you mean we like internally at this company or with
other vcs kind of just kind of like um globally with with different vcs and we're all just so
so excited hang on hang on i'm getting a call actually just yeah it's from union square hello
okay no but that's the yeah so there's no room for okay they hung up yeah so they said that you
texted an agrext i don't really know what that is up. Yeah. So they said that you texted an agrext. I don't really know what that is.
It's a group text.
They said that you slandered...
You might be a little young for it.
Yeah.
They said that they didn't realize that we were a bunch of little baby tweens going door
to door.
And that's not what we are.
We're...
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
What do you mean, mm-hmm?
I can't help but feel like you had something to do with it because of the way that you've
been talking to me.
Mm-mm-mm.
Mm-mm.
You're not saying anything.
You're not denying it.
Can I just see the last text?
Can you just read out aloud what you last said in the group text?
Really quick, let me just scroll a little bit.
So there's been a lot of discussion about it.
Just the first one that kind of,
because you've been texting under the table,
I can tell this whole time.
What did you say?
You ruined my chances at business.
That's so amazing. I said, oh, they're such cute little baby men. I can tell this whole time. What did you say? You ruined my chances at business.
That's so amazing.
I said,
oh, they're such cute little baby men.
We should throw them a bone,
but not take it too far.
All right, guys.
You've ruined me.
You've ruined me.
Charging on the boardroom table,
people holding back.
Oh, little baby's having a tantrum.
I'm not having a little tantrum.
Nothing's funnier to me than a baby person.
And continuing to call someone, oh, you know, but you're a baby.
It's like that scene in Elf when the guy's making fun of Peter Dinklage.
The guy, Will Ferrell's character.
The guy.
Should we do our last segment?
Let's do it.
This should be all week long.
Last night, Daniel's mom and I made this kind of cookie that neither of us had made before.
And they were ricotta key lime cookies, which were actually awesome.
Really?
Because they're super, because ricotta doesn't really taste like much.
It's just like, it's really light and fluffy.
Sure.
And so the cookies are super, super fluffy.
And then we put like a key lime like glaze on it too.
So it's like when they were done baking, you like powder sugar lime zest and key lime juice and then you dip the tops of the
cookies in there so then it kind of hardens on top too and they were fantastic and as I was as
we were making them I was just like baking is really hard right like it can't be like baking
things that are really intricate can be really hard but i may i'm gonna sound so ignorant saying this but like if you just if you just follow a recipe
like you can make it um which goes for like if you just do what they tell you to do like you'll
have it this is your master class.
Your acting master class when you're like 45 and famous.
Just do your Facebook trailer for it.
Hi, I'm Riley Anspaugh.
And this week, I'm going to give you a couple lessons about what it's like working on the silver screen.
I guess all I can really say is as long as you read what's on the paper, you'll do it.
This is acting masterclass with Riley Anspaugh.
It's literally, it's like sometimes I watch, this is going to sound mean, but it's like I'll watch like, you know, something like Nailed It and like people just having a rough go.
Not, this also isn't me saying that I would make it perfectly.
I think there's, there's an art, there's such an art to baking and like the technique and the timing of everything and like making things look like real art but i'm just talking about like making a cookie or like making
something that's like very basic you just put the ingredients together put it in take it out you
know not like establishing like a 12 it's it's chemistry As long as you just do what it says, you're fine.
Right.
Baking is so much fun.
I love baking.
It's just, it's like, I'm like, well, just read the instructions and do it, you know?
And because it's like, neither Dan's mom and I had made these cookies.
We're like, oh, I hope they're okay.
And it's like, well, whether we like it or not, it's going to be what it is because we're doing exactly what it tells us to do it's not gonna be bad because you didn't follow the recipe
it's gonna be bad because the recipe's bad yeah and the recipe was really good so we're just like
oh it turned out like i wasn't nervous that it's like oh i didn't do it right because it's like
the cookies were soft like when they like they were everything looked right. This is, again, I cannot stress enough how I'm not saying that I am like,
like baking, baking is really hard when you like have the technique.
It's like, you know, I could never do what Irene does.
You know what, this is an Icarin tale.
You're really flying too close to the sun here.
You're not even humble bragging.
You're just bragging live on air.
I'm not bragging.
What a great baker you are.
No, I'm literally saying I'm not a great baker you are. No, I'm literally saying
I'm not a great baker.
You just said you were better than Martha Stewart.
You just said you were better than Irene Cabine.
I said no.
I said Irene has a gift
and it takes years and years of work
and training and practice
to be at that level.
But I'm talking about,
you see a chocolate chip cookie recipe,
even if they're not like the level that Irene's are,
which are un-fucking-believable
because she made it her own
and did all these things,
you can make a chocolate chip
cookie, and it'll be edible. Riley, honestly, friend to
friend, I think I should cut this part out.
You're really coming across a certain type of
way. No, that's not what
I'm saying!
No, I think you're totally
right. Do you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, just like, it's not
really, like, basically you're encouraging people
that if they want to get into baking, just do it.
Because the margin of error on a normal recipe is not very big.
Yes.
Like, cooking, like, I feel like, I mean, unless you're like a baker like Irene or someone who can just kind of freestyle it.
I think bread is probably difficult.
I've never tried to make bread.
Bread is fucking hard.
I've never tried to make bread before.
We should make a Guinness bread. Like a beer bread. Have you ever done that? No. I've never tried to make bread before. We should make a Guinness bread.
Like a beer bread.
Have you ever done that?
No.
I've never made bread.
Well, I was just thinking Guinness because of your Irish heritage and just the way that
you kind of are constantly on the search for gold with the pinpointy ears.
So you're not a leprechaun?
Every day is St. Patrick's Day for Riley, basically.
So basically you'll kind of traverse the world.
Oh, stop it!
Wearing green all the time.
I've had enough.
I am fecking done with this fecking O'Reilly's and leprechaun shit.
I'm done.
Again, not saying I am, like, I can make a handful of things because I follow the recipe.
And because I followed enough times, then I'm like, oh, I know how to do this either without the recipe or like I can, you know, add a little bit more of this or try and make it my own or whatever.
Right.
But I feel like baking is such a science like and and cooking like if I'm making dinner, like that's like cooking is jazz and baking is like classical.
It's like you you have to follow it to a certain extent, whereas like other dishes, it's like, oh, well, if I if I put too much of, you know, whatever and I can do this.
But it's like baking. If you mess up a little bit like the whole thing, it's chemistry.
So the whole thing. So that's what shook you all week long is how easy baking is.
No, not easy. It's not easy. I'm trying to find the right word.
I don't know. I'm just kidding. I think you're I know it makes total sense.
As I was like as I was mixing stuff, I'm like, oh, I feel confident in putting these ingredients together
and doing this in the way that it's telling me to do, and I know that something will happen.
It was cool that it's like, I've never made this, and I'm not scared of will it work.
It was more of like, oh, I hope this recipe tastes good.
Welcome back to Will It Bake?
Opens the oven.
Looks like it.
End credits.
Thanks for watching this episode of Will It Bake?
What about you?
Oh, I guess what shook me all week long is the yeah, you know what, this was two weeks ago
but I'm just gonna say it.
The response to me
talking about my latest watch
purchase on the subreddit
and DMing me on Instagram, just a lot of people
who showed interest in that.
I would love that.
Somebody posted their entire watch collection.
The collection, which is really cool.
And he asked if I would do that soon.
So when I get back to LA, I'll do that.
And then also me and my buddy Tucker,
who I've talked about on the podcast before,
were thinking about starting a watch podcast.
Ooh.
A comedy and watch podcast. and it wouldn't be like
it would just be for fun but if anybody's interested in that let me know um it probably
i just imagine it'll be like buckets where we don't really sell ads and stuff but more just like
talking about watches because i don't want to bore riley talking about watches every week
i also texted her being like if i got you a watch would you wear it and she's just like depends on the watch and then change to the subject which means like, if I got you a watch, would you wear it? And she's just like, depends on the watch.
And then changed the subject, which means that I should
not get you a watch, right? No.
I'm all about the watch.
That's all I said.
I just don't want to get you a
watch that you'll never wear. You know what? I think
it's going to be like an engagement ring type situation
where it's like, you might need to show me different options
so I could be like, oh, that's one I will wear.
Like, that's one I wouldn't wear.
Well, that's kind of why I didn't want to make it a surprise.
And we are getting engaged.
Engaged in selling ads to get rich fast.
So anyway, guys, that is the show for this week.
But the last thing we wanted to talk about is voting registration.
This upcoming election is obviously the most important election in
American history and the union depends on who is elected. So whether you're not excited about
either option or whoever you're going to vote for, it's important to use your civic right and
civic duty. It's cool to vote.
And if everybody, I mean, there's no way to track this,
but if all of our listeners vote, I'll post a thirst trap and a jockstrap.
If everyone votes, I will make sure Jeff doesn't post a thirst trap and a jockstrap.
Okay, that's even better.
If even one person who listens to this doesn't vote,
I will post a thirst trap and a jockstrap.
Wagon out.
There it is.
There's the wagon reference.
No, but yeah, so go to vote.org.
There's a lot of resources there to get organized and understand if you are registered to vote,
if you're eligible to be registered to vote.
So yeah, guys, it's important.
Vote.org. And you can find Jeffrey at IamJeffreyJames on Instagram,
at DontPlayNoJames on Twitter,
and you can find Review Review on the subreddit,
r slash Review Review,
and our Instagram at Review Review.
You can find Riley Anspa on Instagram and TikTok,
and at Riley Coyote on Twitter.
Riley, would you like to take us home?
I would love nothing more.
Just kind of wrap the episode up.
Just maybe say, thanks for listening.
We'll see you next week.
Something like that.
A lady doesn't leave her escort.
It isn't fair.
It's not good.
A lady doesn't wander all over the room
to blow on some other guy's wood.
Uh-oh, let's use the party polite.
Never get out of my eyes.
Stick with me, baby.
I'm not like other girls.
I'm different. Luck girls. I'm different.
Luck be a lady right now.
I'm so sorry for that.
I'm obviously going to put it to music.
We'll see you guys next week.
Bye.
Bye. That was a HeadGum Podcast.