Review Revue - Crocs

Episode Date: March 15, 2022

This week on Review Revue; Geoff and Reilly read reviews on CROCS, fail upwards, and forget basic motor skills.    Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjames Twitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardee <><> Edited by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Ugh. Oh! Yeah, you thought it was just going to be a patron name, huh? Yeah, nah. Oh! Okay, now have you ever heard of John Mayer? Maybe you got Grateful Dead on your record player Take you one Zoom, we can go to the Zardy What's a Zardy? It's a, well, party Maybe you're more inclined to study vines

With tiny fruits you can make into wine A glass of red, mellow I'm more of a white guy. Trying to cover Bruno Mars. Ever heard of him? This juicy improv pair. Got me cackling in my chair. It's that smiley Jeff and Riley, baby.

They did a whole damn episode on there. Jeff deserves to be co-host for somebody as China's Riley. Somebody that shine. Riley deserves to be co-host for somebody as China's Jeffrey. Somebody that shine. And that's good. Insane. That put the biggest smile on my face.

Let me tell you. I don't know if you can hear my voice. I don't know if you can hear it in my voice. That was joy. It was actually Greg. Oh. It wasn't joy should we just should we just do the next next week's episode next week and then this is the episode what that was a hit them original like that's it that would be the episode. Because we're already at an impasse.

Yeah. It just sounded so much like joy. It was joyful. Mm. But it was Greg. It was actually Greg Jeffrey. That was amazing. It was really good.

That was really good. They did a whole episode on there. We will play the rest of that. There's another minute and a half. So we'll play the rest of it at's there's another minute and a half so we'll play the rest of it at the end of the episode uh that was fantastic unbelievable um i want to hear the rest i do too thank you so much for those of you who haven't listened to an evening with silk sonic what the fuck are you doing listening to this bullshit go listen to an evening with silk sonic anderson packard no mars don't they already have a second album on the way

they came out with another song oh that's what it was um if they have a second album on the way? They came out with another song. Oh, that's what it was. If they have a second album on the way, I'd know. I'd know. No, I'd know. Thanks, Greg. No, no, but in all seriousness, I'd know. In all seriousness, I'd be the first to know.

Yeah. Yeah. So his initials are the same as mine, Greg Jeffrey. No, no, but in all seriousness, I'd be the first to know. Yeah. Yeah. So his initials are the same as mine, Greg Jeffrey. And I wonder, you know, Silk Sonic is, there's alliteration there. I wonder if this is Gilk Jonic, just to give him an artist name. Gilk Jonic? I know it doesn't sound as good as, it doesn't sound as silky sound as good as... It sounds like a diagnosis.

Gilkjonic? Gilkjonic. Gilkjonic. It's, yeah, it feels like there's stages to that. I'm so sorry, sir, but your son, he's okay. But in the testing that we've run, we have found something that's a bit rare, a bit more uncommon than you usually see in kids of that age range. What is it?

Well, if I tell you, you're not going to believe me. I will tell you because that's – Just please tell me. I mean, I can handle it. He has gilkjonic. He has what? Gilkjonic. It's really early.

It's great that we caught it early on. It's great or gray? Both. It's great that we caught it early on, but yes, the coloring is gray at the moment. The Gilkjannik. This is kind of an early symptom of Gilkjannik as a disease. What is it? How does it manifest? It's a viral infection.

So I wonder maybe if there's another kid at school who might have had gilkjonic. I haven't seen a case in years. This is actually a case that we only read about in school. We never expect to see it practically. Really? But like what are the symptoms? Is it life-threatening?

Thank God it's not life-threatening, no. But it does like what are the symptoms? Like is it life threatening? Thank God it's not life threatening, no. But it does bring him to the brink. Gilchonic, it's actually been described as a pretty humbling disease because it'll never kill you but it will bring you to the brink of death so much so that you think... That seems worse. Also you said he was fine. Well that's what I'm saying.

You said he was fine and now you're saying he's going to be at the edge of death for the rest of his life. No, I said we caught it early on. If we had let the Gilchonic goonic go on even longer, then we might. What is it? See, I just told you. Just tell me the part of his body that it affects. It's a viral disease. That affects what part of the body?

So his knees are going gray. That's it? Yes. Are you sure he just needs lotion? Oh. Right. Yeah. No, that's definitely what it is.

Yeah. Yeah. Sorry about that. You went to DeVry. And that's the issue. I didn't even know they had a medical school. They don't. But we're not here to talk about Gilkjannik, Riley.

We're here to talk about something that I feel like someone with Gilkjannik might buy. This, honestly, buying these will give you Gilkjannik. You will contract Gilkjannik from buying a pair of Crocs. Crocs. Yeah. Right. That's exactly right. If you are wearing Crocs, I will think that you are in remission from Gilkjannik.

From Gilkjannik. It's like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I didn't know. Like you could have reached out. What? What are you talking about? Well, you know. I don't.

Gilk. What? Guilt? You need me to spell it out? Gilkjannik. I'm sorry to even say the full words. I'm pointing at your Crocs. Jeffrey, the Crocs are having a renaissance.

Crocs are cool. No, I don't think so, but they are coming back. They're definitely cool. You know, I don't think they look good, but they are cool in the zeitgeist again. I think they look good and are cool in the zeitgeist again i think they look good and are cool and i know i think this because i saw like two years ago when marty bought his house because he lives really close to me i went over to get firewood from him and he was wearing in like 1502 that's when you think firewood was most important? They had indoors at that point.

They had indoors. Indoors was invented by at least the 1500s. Buildings is a better way of putting it. They had indoors, Miley. Fucking idiot. No, I went over to Marty's place and he had like black jeans on uh with white crocs and it looked awesome okay it takes a certain kind of person to be able to pull it off if i wore crocs i would look insane wrong i think if you were with the exact outfit you have on right now

no i think i would need to be put away if I wore Crocs. When I was in middle school... Sorry, no, no, no. I'm calculating how many days there are between now and June 3rd. Are you going to get me Crocs? I won't wear them. Probably not. But yeah, probably not.

Probably not. When I was in this, it's like, when I was in middle school, you know, you just have a pair or you just have a pair of shoes that it's like, oh yeah, these are, and everyone associates you. It's like, yeah, I, and I wore Converse like every day I wore low top Converse to school every single day. And then I'm just like, I, I'm getting, like, I think I might've like gotten a pair of Vans for my birthday or something.

Like I really wanted a pair of Vans. And I remember my friends were like, you're not a Vans girl. That's not, I don't see that for you. And so I was so self-conscious to wear Vans with the Vans socks to school. I was so scared because I'm like, oh, this isn't me. I could never pull this off. But then it's just about confidence. I rolled up and then suddenly, but it was weird how many people were like whoa that's new and I just had to fully go with it so in that same way I guess

with Crocs it's like if you have the confidence to pull it off you can pull anything off but I don't have the confidence for Crocs yet interesting I think you for sure do I think it's a thing of like it's exactly what you just said of, you kind of just need to wear something long enough for it to be your thing. Yeah. Because like Converse were your thing because you wore them for so long and at first they might have been something new.

I've actually been on the hunt for not only Red October, but for new sneakers really. And maybe that'll be my what shook me and I'll expound on it and get your opinion. But I think Crocs are back. They, uh, I think Crocs are back. I think Crocs are whack. And I think that, I think I've figured it out. I used to have a pair of Crocs.

I think everybody at some point had like, cause they, when did Crocs first come out? I think it was a recent thing. Um, I had a pair of hot pink Crocs. 2002. Yeah. Cause it was the naughty oddies that everybody was into these yeah holy moly don't that was really good and really bad um i i also had like you could you could customize the crocs you could customize the little holy moly's um with like

little pins essentially that you put in there so it's like i remember having like a paw print because i like it was like it was like a a charm bracelet but it's a shoe and it's in there. So it's like, I remember having like a paw print. Cause I, it was like, it was like a charm bracelet, but it's a shoe and it's a croc. So it's like, I had like a slice of pizza, a dog paw print. Like those were dumb, which is so wild. They were cool back then, but that's not back. I think it's only the crocs themselves.

But look at the photo I just sent you. Cause I Googled when Crocs was founded and this was the first photo that I saw. And it's like, this looks awesome. I just sent you. Because I Googled when Crocs was founded, and this was the first photo that I saw, and it's like, this looks awesome. I don't agree. It looks like, to me, they just look like, and you know what? These are probably what they're actually used for.

It looks like you're going, you're in a middle school, and you're doing a science trip, and it's like, okay, everyone, you gotta bring some shoes you can wear in the water, because we're gonna look at tide pools that's the other thing they can go anywhere it's the jeep of foot foot that's exactly what it is it is the jeep of footwear

yeah cause you can take the top down like you like the strap you just put over to the front I think they're good inside outside shoes to have near the door and go grab, you know, like a package. That's fair. I have like a,

I have a pair of slides that I use for that, but then it's like, yeah. Do you have Gucci slides? Maybe I'll get that. I don't have Gucci slides. No. Why?

Cause it's hard to run in them. Um, no, that's not the reason. Also, so, so like, I know why it's hard to run on them

it must be oh my god classic oh it's because it's hard that's not why it's because they're 400 no i i just don't get it because it's like i i'm a sprinter and so it's like they're just so hard. But you're not always sprinting. Your eyes just sprinted so hard. Okay. No, it's like I'm always on the run. Oh, you mean you're on the go, like you're a man about town. No, I am running. I wish. I wish.

No, I'm exhausted. Gotta keep the heart rate up 24-7. What's the lyric? Is it Silk Sonic in your ears? Because I still have Jilk Jonic stuck in my head. I still have Jilkjonic in my knees. Jilt-jonic in your ears. Jilt.

Jilt. Jilt. Jilt your jonic. Do you want to start us off? Oh, yeah. Why not? Right? I don't ask for much.

I just want some crocs. Okay, hold on. All right. Five stars. It's from Ezekiel A. Ezekiel A. Ezekiel A. The title is The Drip Go Off.

And the photos that Ezekiel has attached are a pair of yellow Crocs, and they are adorned with the little charms you can put in there. And there's a Minecraft one. There's a candy cane. And then it's next to the same color of yellow for a phone case, next to the same color of a Nintendo Switch. So color blocking Ezekiel's life. That's kind of cool. Okay.

Not going to lie. I used to hate these things. Told myself I'd never get them. Next thing you know, I'm out here flexing with some cheesy shoes. I guess y'all can say these are brighter than my career and then the emoji with the star for eyes. Sizing on these are really weird. I'm a size 11.5 US shoe, but these M12 fit just right.

Now, when I go out, everyone can see me coming in disappointment from a mile away. Mom roasts me for having some, but that's making me stronger. Bicep emoji. That's why I already ordered some lavender ones. Am I a disappointment? Maybe. But these shoes ain't. Little devil smiling emoji.

A straight 10 for 10. Yeah. Trace, I brought you into my office. Obviously, I'm your college counselor here at the high school. What's up, Mr. G? It's so good to see you, man. Like, I love having lunch in here. Right.

I wanted to talk to you about your college essay. Yes, I want to talk about it, too. Honestly, can I just tell you, a lot of my friends are just like, it's boring i hate writing these i had the best time i had the best time you can write anything you want and i think that's what's so cool about like colleges or just like express yourself and like i just really appreciate you i just feel like you're different like you let me be me and that's why i really like i trust you and i trust your guidance right um i'm so glad to hear that you trust me my advice is gonna be that this is a good first attempt we all gotta do first drafts right we all gotta do first drafts i'm it's not a first draft it's a good first attempt like a book ended front

and you know that chapter's closed let's do a whole new essay because this is about uh basically that you own three things that are yellow uh you say in the essay by the way that your career aspirations aren't bright and that's not something first of all you haven't even worked and you haven't you don't have a career you haven't even gone to college yet so that's not a good way to lead that's not leading with your best foot forward um i also want to talk to you in relation to this about the list of colleges. Everybody, I say, bring me 10 colleges that you want to apply to. Yeah, yeah.

Everybody researches what their GPA is, what their test scores are, what their extracurriculars look like as a whole package. For sure. And they do, you have reaches, you have ones that you're probably going to get into and then backups. Reaches, probably going to get into, safeties, yeah. Yeah, right. And you've almost exclusively done reaches, let's say, especially with this essay. that's why i just wanted you to like i want i want you to get into these schools oh of course so do i right yeah uh william and mary princeton university columbia university these are if not ivy leagues highly highly competitive colleges yeah cal poly yes

we're speaking the same language man we're speaking the same language we're not at all we're not at all because you need at the very least let's do some ones that you know you'll get into because these i think are all reaches and you're you're still smiling and also you did put emojis in the essay i also well to be fair and this isn't like honestly like i respect a teacher i respect them like I know a lot of my peers. You respect a teacher? Sorry, I misspoke. I respect teachers.

And like, this isn't me. When I'm about to say this, this isn't me talking back to you. This isn't me like doing anything like that. I just want to say that it's like you did. And I'm not, honestly, Mr. G, I'm not trying to like use your words and like throw them back at you. Because like that's not how I roll. But like you did tell me. My last name's Harrison, by the way.

So don't call me Mr. G. You did're a G man like what can I say it's like you did tell me and this is what really stuck out to me you're like you need to make your essay stand out because if you're going to be applying to school is this hard to get into they gotta really see uh something different you know and so when I figured out that on my macbook that I like the little bar on the top that you could add emojis into typing, oh, wow, that changed the game for sure. And so that's why, you know, I threw in some little alien guys,

a little devil, just so they know, it's like, I'm fun, but I'm not too fun. And just, you know, the star eyes, the bicep, like all that I feel like, they're gonna see my essay for sure. It's not gonna go unnoticed. Every essay gets read. So they're gonna see it for sure, even if It's not going to go unnoticed. Every essay gets read. So they're going to see it for sure, even if it's also-

They're going to remember it, though. It's not just going to fall into the sea of like, oh, that was such an awesome essay, but nothing really stood out. Are you going to change the essay, or is this it? Because I can't- Well, I mean, if you have any typos or just any grammar stuff, I'm happy to go back and change it. I'm happy to go back and change it.

But I do feel like- I didn't even get to typos or grammar because there are also those issues but it's the content and the emojis that were the most glaring issues if you just want typos you spelled uh i think you spelled uh grammar or glamour wrong you spelled yellow wrong twice and um i don't even know how this is possible but the bicep is a color that emojis can't be. So somehow that's a typo on an emoji. Well, so that's actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I know I've been saying I want to go,

I want to be an entrepreneur, I want to go to business school. Which means nothing if you don't have business ideas. I'm a coder, I think. Honestly, I figured, and it was an accident. That bicep. So you're not a coder if it was an accident. That was an accident, but that's what I'm saying is that it's just like,

I think I have a lot of untapped potential that we haven't really explored. You've had four years at this school. What have you not explored? Again, you didn't do any extracurriculars. I've never seen that. You didn't do sports, clubs, performances, contests, travel. You didn't do anything. What do you do outside of school, can I ask?

Because you can also put things that aren't through school clubs. I've just never seen this. You've never... I've never seen a kid that does school and nothing. Like, you have to have hobbies that you could write about. Listen, man.

I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my heart on my sleeve. And so I... You gotta read the essay again, because everything that I care about, it's there. It is on that page. I put everything I am,

everything I do, the three yellow things that I own, they're all in that essay. Crocs, Nintendo Switch. What was the third one? My phone cases. The three yellow things that I own, they're all in that essay. Crocs, Nintendo Switch, what was the third one? My phone case is yellow. The phone is white, but the case is yellow. But you do have a phone? I do have a phone, yeah.

Okay. The Switch, are you interested in video game design? Do you do video games? Do you play with other people? Do you even play the Switch? Does it have a DC power adapter? I'm asking. I lost the charger for it on Christmas morning.

I got it for Christmas and I was so excited to play with it. With your permission, I'm just going to apply it to one school. One school that's not on your list and I'm just going to do it for you. Putting all the eggs in one basket, man. I like it. No, no, no. In addition. Let's do it. Let's apply to just one and see what happens

my recommendation is ohio university it's a 55 acceptance rate what are you saying what i've been saying for the past 10 minutes it hasn't changed i thought no way sorry mr g i just i'm not even saying don't apply at this... I'm not even saying don't apply. I thought you believed in me, man. At this point, I'm not even saying don't use the essay. I'm saying do everything that way, and let me just also push you to apply for one other school. This is me being a good counselor, by the way.

Yeah. Actually, I brought you something, but it feels stupid now. It's all out of a box. It's very clearly like a shoe box wrapped up in gift wrap. Here. Crocs? Yeah, it's Crocs.

But did you even notice the little pendants I put in the holes? I can't not notice them. Harvard. Right. Brown. Not going to get in.ceton brown not gonna get in not gonna get in yeah i wanted to come in here by the way it's cleveland browns i got into all of them why do you think that because they haven't sent the acceptance letters what has led you to believe specifically that you got in? Did you get a mailer from them? Because that's not an acceptance letter.

I got a mailer. I got a little flyer. It said, apply now. And I did. And I haven't heard no. If you're successful in life i'm gonna be shocked and i've that's i know that it's hard to hear cut to like 20 years later i'm on something like akin to like the graham norton show or something it's like some something where it's like they're like and um we actually were able to

contact one of your old teachers what no stop it no you didn't i'm gonna cry right now i'm gonna cry all right um yeah we actually got your high school college counselor mr mr mr g yeah mr harrison no way you didn't get oh my god my God. Bring him. All right. Mr. Harrison, come on out. Come on out. Oh, my God. I give you the biggest hug. Oh, man. This man. Hey, everybody. This man got me to where I am today. Not really. Hi. Well, that's so interesting. Mr. Harrison, why don't you, you know, obviously your ex-pupil is now one of the biggest coders in the game. He has designed game after game after game for the Switch. And he's now coming out with a new Croc Switch line.

I wanted to clarify that. I'm sorry to interrupt. No, please. What do you mean crocs switch line everybody that's you've been saying it the entire show collab you ever heard it's like you know crocs and then you see the little x and then you say switch that means it's a collab between the two things is it crocs that are switch themed or is it a crocs themed switch because i've seen no all i've seen is the promo that's right it's just promotional materials so we're so i'm so happy to see you man i guess so please tell mr harrison did you always know

did you always know trace was special because i think we did right yeah so what what was tell us like how did you know that trace i also just want to flag that it's crazy to have a coder on a late night talk show but uh trace was always different than the other kids and i don't really want to say more oh he's shy he's shy everybody the crowd's like oh not really no because you all know how i am i'm just like we everyone wear your heart on your sleeve yeah that's right um he's a famous coder with a catchphrase. Yeah. Congratulations, Trace. So, Mr. Harrison, is there anything that you want to say to Trace now that you never got to say all these years later?

I know we'd all love to see it. Yeah. You're proof that the world's not a meritocracy. Oh, come on. No, he's just playing. He's just playing. Yeah. Oh, Mr. Harrison, come on. We only have 30 more seconds before we have to go to the break so let's just let's get something come on i know this show isn't

live so if you don't want this in the final edit that's fine you can edit it out i just have to say to trace because i know i'm not going to get to him because i've tried and he has a big team he has three assistants to get on the phone with him is impossible trace while i'm in the room with you i have to i need you to know that you didn't get where you are based on merit. It was luck. And some other weird thing. You're a really nice guy. You wear your heart on your sleeve.

I'm sure people appreciate that. But I am shocked that you're here. And I know this is rude. And I don't mean it to hurt you. I just want at least the audience to know this isn't who you should model yourself after because if you do, you're not going to get there. Trace lifts his arm up into a bicep,

flexes, it turns some color that's not possible. The crowd goes crazy. See, what is that? That's luck that it works. It's all because of you. My haters make me stronger. This new year, why not let Audible expand your life by listening? Audible CA contains over 890,000 total titles within its current library,

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Start listening today when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.com slash wonderyca. That's audible.com slash wonderyca. That's audible.com slash wonderyca. And we're back after we keep, but yeah, it's a very short break. A very short break. It was a very short, it was a very short break. This is a five-star review from Dr. M of Crocs Clogs. So that's not Crocs with the holes, but it's basically one piece of rubber. Yes, and I should specify that the review that I read was just for regular Crocs. I didn't say that. But Dr. M, this is Dr. Moz.

Dr. Moz, five stars. So comfortable. Remember, this is Dr. Moz. Dr. Moz, five stars. So comfortable. Remember to take them off. The shoes fit perfectly. They have a removable inner sole that can be replaced by any department store brand. They are amazingly comfortable to wear. I have to remember to take them off at times. How could you forget?

It's still a shoe. First date, walking in. I, Christine, I am so sorry I'm late. No, no worries. What happened? You're not gonna believe me. Oh, okay. I legit forgot to get out of my car. I've been here since

we agreed on eight. I was here at 7.55. I forgot to get out of my goddamn Yaris. I've been there. No, it's like, you know, sometimes you're just like you're sitting and then you're on your phone. It's just like, oh, no, I've lost track of time. No, but Tim, it's really nice to meet you. No, I wasn't on my phone.

I wasn't on my phone. I forgot that to be on the date I'd have to be out of my car I was like looking at In my mind menu You know and I was like talking to you Who I thought was you but it was just my windshield Like I did everything right is what I'm telling you

I did everything right I was on the date at 8 The one thing I forgot to do Do you have any immediate family we should call i think we should actually take you to the er you were having a dissociative episode i think um no no no it's so much simpler than that i just know that's more comfortable to get out of my car what's simple about it um can i see your phone i just i feel like do you have any of your favorite all right here, here we go. Let me just use Face ID. Yep, there you go. All right, I'm gonna, does your mom live around here?

Does she live around here? My mom, she does, I think. It's not near here, but yeah. All right, I'm just gonna give your mom a call. Do you wanna talk to her or should I? I'll talk to her. I'm so sorry about this, by the way. I just, I hope this isn't embarrassing for you.

I'm just worried for you. This is very scary to experience. No, no, no. I mean, honestly, I'm so late. I would do anything you said to make up for it. All right, and it's ringing. Hey, Ma. Tim, hi.

This is a surprise. How you doing? I'm sorry to call you so late. Your dad and I were just watching Murder, She Wrote. What's going on? So I'm on a date. Oh, well, why are you on the phone with me? Well, that's funny. That's why I'm calling, Ma.

Basically, I forgot to get out of my car. And Christina here was nice enough to put me on the phone with you just to make sure that I'm in full control. What do you mean? Oh, like you were on the phone with you just to make sure that I'm in full control. What do you mean? Oh, like you were on your phone and you forgot to, you just lost track of time because you were playing Candy Crush or what? No. And it's the weird part is that that's what she said. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no.

I literally was like on the date in the car. Mrs. Wilkinson, that is also what I said. Oh, hi. Oh, well, she sounds lovely, Tim. She sounds like, she sounds like a doll. She's been really understanding about the whole thing. I mean, she gets it. Mrs. Wilkinson. Sorry. Hi, Mrs. Oh, well, she sounds lovely, Tim. She sounds like she's been really understanding about the whole thing. I mean, she gets it. Mrs. Wilkins. Sorry. Hi, Mrs. Wilkinson. I do think that Tim was having a dissociative. It sounds like that's what it.

Yeah. And I with your permission, I think would it be OK if I were to take him to the ER? I don't know if you want me to. Oh, I can meet you there. Yeah. No, I'll definitely. This is this. You know, this is not actually the first time he's done this believe it or not cut to the the er all right they're all the three of them are all waiting in the in like a doctor's room or like one of the back rooms the doctor hasn't been in for like 40 minutes hey guys uh dr uh dr thompson here i'm so sorry i'm so sorry I'm late. I was not with other patients. Like I was ready to take you guys

like at like 9.15. What happened was I forgot to stop using a scalpel. Oh, I get it. So you were just, you were busy. A little procedure might have taken longer than you.

No, no, no, no, no. By scalpel, I meant stethoscope. I used it on a patient at like 845, and then I thought that I was using it on this guy. What's your name? My name's Tim. Tim. Yeah, sorry.

I'm sorry I'm late. I hate to be rude, but I do think we might need, is there another doctor who's on call right now? There's not. You are experiencing the same thing that Tim is experiencing. And this is actually starting to freak me out a little bit. Um, because I've never seen anything like this before.

You guys, I can get my mom on the phone if you want. That would be great. Oh yeah. You know, do you want to talk to her or should I? I can. Okay, great. Oh, it's, oh, you know what? Hey ma.

Hi darling. How you doing? Why are you calling me from, you know what? Hey, Ma. Hi, darling. How you doing? Why are you calling me from the hospital? Aren't you on call? I'm at work. It's just the craziest thing happened, and basically they just want to make sure that I'm in control of all my facilities. Did you forget to stop using the stethoscope on a patient again? Yeah, yeah.

Oh, honey. I don't know how many more times should we take you to the hospital honestly we're at the hospital no i'll meet you there i live you know what i'll fly out i'll get on the next flat out your mom she lives in houston she lives in houston but it's fine yeah it's all right i fly out oh well this whoa this this is turning into, am I in Murder, She Wrote? What's going on here? I don't think you know what Murder, She Wrote's about. Cut to the next hospital. Tim, I'm so sorry, honey.

I know you still haven't been seen yet. No, I mean, you know, the American healthcare system is crazy. It's got to be that, not something else. Well, my son knows a lot about that, don't you, Walter? Oh, yeah. Yeah, because I work in the American medical system. He always does this. He forgets.

He forgets. Sorry, I'm still, yeah, I keep putting my stuff in the air. Sorry, could we, pushing like the button, we really need, we desperately need a medical professional to come into the room. I really can't believe I'm still here. Tim, you seem very nice, but we're not getting a second date, I don't think. This has just been too much for the first one. This is too much? Why not?

This is too much. A medical emergency, maybe, is too much for you. I felt really uncomfortable. I feel really uncomfortable, actually. You know what? I think we should probably just both go. I think you should go. Because you know what?

I need to... I don't think we should both go. I think I can go since your mom's here, but I think you should stay because you need some medical attention. You deserve to still have a fun night out, so I'll go. No, this isn't... That's what I'm saying. This is not a fun night out. Me staying at the hospital, waiting with this doctor, I don't want you deserve to still have like a fun night out. So I'll go. No, this isn't. That's what I'm saying. This is not a fun night out.

Me staying at the hospital, waiting with this doctor. I don't know. And these two moms who are very nice. Hey, we're more than just moms. We're more than just. I know. I didn't mean any disrespect for that. That's not what I meant.

I just meant like my mom produces. I really. The radio hosts show. That's very exciting. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It is.

So I'm going to go. You should absolutely not leave until you are seen by a doctor. Hello. I'm so sorry for being late. The craziest. Here we go. What? Did you forget?

Did you forget that you weren't in a shower or something? What's going on? No. weren't in a shower or something what's going on no um i had a patient actually who's having one of the worst panic attacks i've ever seen so we were actually trying to comfort them at any at our costs because they also have a lot of heart cardiovascular issues and even a panic attack might onset uh arrest cardiac arrest but um oh and let me guess you that happened hours ago and you thought you were treating us by the time you finished treating him and that's why it took so long for you no you can see i'm sweating a bit because i actually sprinted down here to make sure that you guys

were all right i've heard that i was two patients in one room having a dissociative episode so i just um but you know what uh maybe i should have taken my time maybe Maybe I should have. No, no. I might go have a drink. Not an alcoholic drink. Sorry. I'm in recovery. I meant a water. A water. A water. A water.

A what? I've been doing a British year. A British year? I'm trying something on. Seeing if I have more. We don't have to get into my thing, but I've been like not having a ton of luck with the women and I thought maybe a British accent would, you know, help things. But it's turning out to just be my personality okay i'm gonna go where anywhere but

here i'm gonna leave i am going to be anywhere but in this room with all of you right now no offense everybody at once i'm out of here what the fuck I was doing a British year like a year abroad well in a way a year abroad away from myself alright should we do

one last review or should we just go to our last segment those were longer ones those were longer ones let we do one last review, or should we just go to our last segment? Those were longer ones. Those were longer ones. Let's do our last segment. It's been 45. Okay, those were long. Yeah, all right. This shook me all week long.

Oh, no. Hopefully, you guys didn't hear this. I'm so... Oh, okay, I have it right here. I was going to say, hopefully, they didn't hear this. I'm so... Oh, okay, I have it right here. I was going to say hopefully they didn't hear the technical difficulties at all, but for some reason my microphone this entire episode has been cutting in and out. It's been awesome. It's been awesome.

It's been awesome. It's been something to do. It's been an idea that became reality. What's been shaking me is I'm on the hunt for, again, I said it earlier, not only Red October, but new sneakers. And I think I've settled on Air Max 90s triple whites. Ooh, those are really cool. The silhouette is really interesting, but it's not so bright and colorful that you have to be careful what other colors you mix it with.

So there's those. And I just want to get Riley's opinion on air. I love it. I think you'd look great in those. There's the blazers. Those are really cool, too. High top ones. But my fear is they're just converse, which is what I already have.

But they're not converse. They're cool and Nike. That's honestly what I wanted to hear. And then these are like the last option. This is all really good in that um where this is a very i'll post them to the instagram oh green air max ones those are really cool too but i think you'd get more wear out of the other ones because the other ones will go with everything i agree one more okay these are crazy i'd be crazy for that one, Hov. They're just black Vans.

Those are really cool. I think I might just do these. I like those better than the green ones. And honestly, I like them better than the other ones because you don't have anything like that. And you have things that are like the other ones that are neutral shoes that you can put with anything. These are the Air Max 90s, Air Max running clubs. That's a statement piece. They're also the cheapest. It's a statement piece. That's a the cheapest. It's a statement piece.

That's a statement piece. It's a statement piece. And at the end of the day, that is a statement piece. Yeah, what's been shaking your ass? I passed my level two wine exam. I found out officially yesterday morning, the passing requirement grade is 55%. And?

Your girl got a 92% with distinction. So nowhere near the minimum. So I am very, very proud of myself. That shit was fucking hard for me. Level three or nah? Break and then level three later in life? We'll see. We'll see.'ll see how many

levels five four level three is six months level four is a year and a half long um and so okay because this is it's i'm not trying to like have this be my career i just really like it and then it's like be great to have kind of like additional info if i want to get like a part-time wine job so it's like i don't think that i'd need to get do level three to do that job. So it's like, I don't think that I'd need to get, do level three to do that. But, because also it's like, level two was,

was good to do, but also took a while. And it's like, by the time I finished, I'm like, oh, I haven't written anything. Like,

I haven't had time to do the things that are actually my priority. Yeah. Creatively. But it was really fun. And like, it's, I feel really, I just, I just like it's i i feel really i just i just

feel really good and really accomplished i'm like really confident in what i know but also it's something that i need to like keep up because it's information that i can just lose um well luckily at this point keeping that up is probably just drinking that's exactly what it is and talking about it yeah so that's probably just reviewing my flashcards every now and then and just learning more so if anyone has any like fun like kind of wine theory books um oh i don't know if i talked about this last month but just like i've just been really appreciating all the book recs from people that's been really really fun oh hell yeah um so in that same vein in that same vine if anyone has any wine books to recommend. In that same wine. Vines.

Oh, I fucked it up. So, yeah, I'm very, it just feels, like, I felt for sure that I was going to pass, but I did not think I was going to pass with as high a grade as I did. Fine colors, really. With distinction, with distinction, for sure. My other thing is maybe if you continue for levels three and four, it could almost ruin wine for you. Well, right. Getting too technical about it. It's less like getting technical, because I actually love learning about it.

It's more just like the time and dedication that it takes away from writing for me. But yeah, so very excited about that. Very, very happy. And then the only other thing that's shaking me is that Survivor premieres tonight, March 9th, time of recording. And I'm very, very excited for that. I've been waiting for a while.

We know someone on the season, which is insane. Who? We know Lydia Meredith. She was in Beast beast with daniel um like this is hers and she's gonna she's on it which is which is insane that's so i'm so i'm so excited to see this season oh i fucking love it hey shout out to jeff friend of the pod jeff probst yeah i was gonna that's who i thought you meant i know we know someone on the show um uh he he's in every episode he's been in every single episode

but that doesn't seem possible because that's usually different people oh no he's the host he's it's jeff roves oh okay so you're an asshole for the leading of like like this is us at a dinner party we know someone in this okay so you're an asshole sorry that must that's really confusing no he is. I can understand that must have been a little misleading. Yeah, it was purposely misleading. It was the host. It's Jeff Probst. It was the show.

It's the host. It's Jeff Probst. Well, hell yeah. Happy Survivor Day to everybody. Happy Survivor Premier Day to everyone who celebrates. I can't wait. Oh, yeah. Tweet about...

Send Survivor tweets to Review Review about who we think is going to be mirror day to everyone who celebrates i can't wait um oh yeah tweet about send survivor tweets to review um about who we think's gonna who we think's gonna be the sole survivor i love that shit i love like first impressions of like who you think's going all the way um yeah i love this show so much um but we're not here to talk about survivor we're here to thank some fucking patrons we do an entire another episode we're here to we're here to talk about crocs again crocs too you've waited long enough you've waited 45 minutes um but yeah let's thank some well before we thank some vipodcats you can follow riley on instagram at riley anspa on twitter at riley coyote and the Riley on Instagram at RileyAnspa, on Twitter at RileyCoyote, and the show on Instagram at ReviewReview if you want to see my sneaker posts. You can follow Jeffrey on Twitter at JeffBoyardee. You can find him on Instagram at JeffreyJames.

And so should we thank some patrons? Let's do it. Thank you to underscore Christian Sidehugs, dogs and cats too. Accrid Michael Sauer. A colic doesn't have the energy to care about those who would bring her down. They don't vex her. They ain't no thang. Clearly they're a thang.

Yeah, you're yelling about it. You're writing about it You're upset Alex Witt And now a patron who needs no introduction So moving on Austin, not like Texas TV A.K.A. Butt Butt McFart

May get a little nasty and go to the gym finally So in a way, he's a fit kind of guy Bob Buell, and I'm here to say I officially endorse the newest crypto Buell coin. It's like Bitcoin, but Buellier. That's not anything. Cam F. and Angel

actually is the mind freak and would appreciate it if we stopped giving Chris the attention he doesn't deserve. Chuck. Cluff. Connor Finnegan, happy St. Paddy's day, you paddy bastard. Go fuck Spuds or some shite. Daddy Tuesday night is dishing out spankings. Come and get it, Nolan.

Damien Kirk, Elizabeth Valente's burrilla L-pro. Daniel Bragg. So it's Daniel Craig, but he's not at all humble of himself. Fancy Octopus. Fria. Frito-Pray-Love. Garf, enemy of the pod. Soup man, it's just soups. Just some hot water

yummies. Just chunk of slurpy soupy time. Gale de Soil is embroiled in turmoil. That was so good. Giannis not in a cum way. Grey didn't do anything bad in seventh grade. He was a stout little nerd who couldn't talk to his crush

Sophia. Greg Berg. Hallie the horribly awesome is Grey's twin. Hey Jeff, could you please have anyone from Hey Riddle Riddle on the HeadGum podcast, please? I literally only subscribe to Force, Jeffrey, and Riley to say Trans Right 6-0-X-0. In a very

real sense, TR. Isaac Cuff. Jake Ullman. James Wagner is laundering money to pay for this Patreon, and that's how Moe Pete knew. Jesse Tipton. JP again, in the same vein, can the sentence I always lie never be false? Caleb is now 21 and is very ready to get absolutely zoinked at the Zardy.

Casper. Lauren Malang. Les Pete. Lord Hunter the Ordained. Maggie. Malik. Mark Priest. Lord Hunter the Ordained. Maggie. Malik. Mark Priest. Michael Beggle. Moe Pete Davidson.

Moe Pete is saving the Hollywood industry one crafty table at a time. My name is Jeffrey James. Not this one. No, I'm not reading this again, Jackson Hansel. I'm not reading that. Nate Porteus is quite literally the first to say it's a good day to have a Ganset. Nolan Murphy watched Ken Burns' baseball and is calling his shot Babe Ruth style. He predicts he'll be unemployed within a year.

Oh, so it's lame to advertise your business through your Patreon name. Come say that to my face at smoking time on Main Island. Pessimisaurus. Phoebe. Kwok. Ran Zyman of Bread Lounge fame. Raven funny joke name. New patron.

What is... Oh, new patron. So what, is this like a job now? You're telling me that I have to update my name more than once a year? Terms and conditions apply. That one guy that everyone hates. New patron. New patron.

That's how Moe Pete do. That's how Moe Pete do. That's how Moe Pete don. That's how Moe Pete do. That's how Moe Pete don't. That's really good. And that's the patron name, by the way. And that's really good. The dulcet tones of... No.

Dulcet tones of Jeffrey's sleep moans. TJ Michael. And Yarrow Bouchard. Did not think we would have to talk about Jeff's sleep moans today, but here we are. No, we can talk about them. We can hear some, actually. We don't have to. No, we really shouldn't.

Before we go, before we play the song, we just wanted to share some news with you guys. Just joked about spit because it's just like emotional to talk about. We're going on hiatus for a little bit. The show is going on hiatus. The show is going on. The review is. Yeah, it's going like emotional to talk about yeah um we're going on hiatus for a little bit the show is going on the show is going on yeah it's going on hiatus ultimately you know it's it's fine and we will be back we just are like a hundred percent yeah and like we just need a we just need a little bit of time to like kind of like reset in some ways up on some things like get some things sorted um but we will be back for sure. Yeah, it's just a hiatus, it's not the show ending. Yes.

And we should be back, you know, after who knows how long, but yeah, maybe, like, how much time do you think you need? I just need, like, up to seven business days. Business days? No, five business days, and like, two weekend days so about a week

so i think a week yeah all right that feels fair that feels fair for everyone involved if this is coming out on the 15th then i think let's take a week-long hiatus and then we'll be back on the 22nd okay the 22nd sounds good so so this episode's coming out on tuesday the next episode will come out next tuesday so this this will be the hiatus week um but yeah apologies if that's disappointing to anybody. I'm so sorry if this is disruptive. That's truly not our intention. No, no, no, no.

It's just going to be a week. But then we'll be back next week after we take this little hiatus. And we do love you guys and we hope you know that. And when we get back, we're going to have this. We hope you hear the renewed energy from so much rest. Yeah. So be sure. And mark your calendars. Because like, be sure it's like,

and mark your calendars because again, today is the 15th that this is coming out and we will be back on the 22nd. So my fear is that we go away and people are sad, but then like they kind of make peace with it. And then what hell maybe happen is like, holy shit, we've been gone so long. They forgot. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's a week you guys, I know we'll get through it. Um, but thank you for this time and we will be back recharge refresh next week yeah you thought it was just gonna be a

patron name, huh? Yeah, nah. Okay, now have you ever heard of John Mayer? Maybe you got Grateful Dead on your record player. Take you one zoom we can go to the Zardi. What's a Zardi? It's a, well, party. Maybe you're more inclined to study vines with tiny fruits you can make into wine. A glass of red, mellow,

I'm more of a white guy trying to cover Bruno Mars. Ever heard of him? This juicy improv pair Got me cackling in my chair It's that smiley Jeff and Riley baby they did a whole damn episode on there Jeff deserves

to breathe somebody as China's Riley somebody that shine Riley deserves to breathe

somebody as China's Jeffrey, somebody that chined And that's good, huh? Now if you don't know what we're talking about I'ma have the whole band help me spell it out Yeah, if you don't know what we're talking about Class in session, here's your lesson, help me spell it out C, H, H, H, H You've never seen nobody this? Yeah, if you don't know what we're talking about Class in session, here's your lesson, help me spell it out C-C-H-H-I-N-E

You ain't never seen nobody this Chine It's like we're back in school Now come on children, now spell it C-C-H-H-I-N-E You ain't never seen nobody this Chine Jeff deserves to breathe

Co-hosting somebody as China's Riley Somebody that shine Riley deserves to breathe Co-hosting somebody as China's Jeffrey Somebody that shine Somebody that... Oh, we're not doing it all together? I'm actually...

Yeah, I... Yeah, wow. What the fuck am I doing with my life? That was a Hidgum Original.