Review Revue - Dave & Busters (w/ Lamorne Morris & Billy Magnussen!)
Episode Date: March 30, 2021Lamorne Morris and Billy Magnussen (Unwanted podcast) join Reilly and Geoff to read reviews about Dave & Busters and to discuss Italian bullies, "wooden people," and allergies!Check out R...eview Revue and many hilarious other pods featured on Stitcher's first ever Comedy week! In app or at Stitcherapp.com/comedyFollow Lamorne, Billy, Reilly, and Geoff:IG: @lamorne, @billymagnussen, @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjamesTwitter: @LamorneMorris, @BillyMagnussen, @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardeeAdvertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a HeadGum Original.
Get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now.
Let's break it down.
My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course.
And don't forget the fries and a drink.
Sound good?
At participating restaurants for a limited time. I just want to know how you feel.
I want to love the soul proud and real.
You make me want to go out and steal.
I just want to review.
Well, everybody in the club's getting tipsy Ha, not me
I'm only here for my assessment
The bathrooms are clean
But the music's so loud
Go to TripAdvisor
Gonna rate it three out of five stars
It ain't a duty, it's a privilege
Leave my mark on the world
And the work ain't ever finished
Still searching for that five-star place
In the one-star town for me
Lamorne's already regretting doing this show
I just wanna know how you feel
I wanna love you so proud and real
You make me wanna go out and steal
I just wanna with you
I just wanna with
you
It's so long!
So,
that was
a parody of
Fuh You by Paul McCartartney which we should explain oh my god
our theme song used to be pho you by paul mccartney and then we got a cease and desist
oh who made that song that was uh from dustin clark uh one of our listeners so thank you so
much to dustin clark for making that parody great lyrics lyrics. That was amazing. And it just, it wasn't even a parody
because you just used the lyrics from For You.
Was that your first time hearing that version?
That was my first time, yeah.
Oh my God.
Oh, that was amazing.
Thank you so much, Dustin.
With us as never before.
Synthesized players.
Cause I just imagine, you know, like a guitar,
you see people playing guitar and they bend the note.
But a synthesized player, they're just like
meee.
And there's that little thing on the
toggle.
Just ripping it on the synth.
I can see you doing
a band in your free time in your off seasons just like
doing the keytar a band an entire band yeah doing a band rock and roll entire group that's really
good yeah uh with us has never before is Lamorne Morris no way we have to introduce them we have
to introduce them is Lamorne Morris and Billy Magnuson from the new scripted podcast Unwanted?
Unwanted.
How have you guys been?
Lamorne, you looked ashamed to be here in the middle of that song.
Is that fair to say?
Lamorne pulled his hat over his face and we hadn't even started.
For a number of reasons why.
You're ashamed to be anywhere most of the time.
100%.
Everywhere I am, I'm not supposed to be there.
I don't want anyone to know
so I don't post a lot on like my Instagram story
about what I'm currently doing
because it's usually some mischief or some no good
yeah yeah shenanigans
always doing some no good
so when I heard that song
I didn't know how to feel
because on one hand it's a really good song but on the other
hand it's a really shitty song i was like the music is dope but what the fuck is he talking
about am i supposed to know what he's talking about is he meant to be funny is he not meant
to be funny i was like i don't know how to feel so i just covered my face with my hat to hide my
range of emotions yeah. It did strike that
awkward middle ground of the chorus being
earnest and the verses being
a story about how he went to a club
and is kind of not dancing
but just assessing everything.
Serrated five stars or not.
Yes, he doesn't know if he wants to steal and shit.
I'm like, hey man, if you want to steal
some shit, go steal it.
And wouldn't you know, those are actually the Paul McCartney lyrics. Those are the real lyrics
I just want to know how you feel. I want to love that so proud and real you make me want to go out and steal
I just want to fuck you fuck you. Yeah, those are
Love Paul McCartney, but I'm not gonna lie to you. That was a trash job on his part
You heard it here first dog shit lyrics paul like holler at me for for lessons
maybe i was cool in the 50s to be out stealing shit dog and then in the 60s but we don't do
that no more you know what i'm saying we're a civilized group yeah yeah our morals have gotten
better yes um so yeah do you guys want to talk a little bit about the show? I just finished listening to it today.
It was laugh out loud funny.
Lamar and I was telling Billy that the line where you're like,
mail workers don't come into the house when they have a delivery.
I don't know if they have to sign for something.
Yeah.
This process was an interesting one.
I was working with this company, Q-Code, on a different scripted podcast, and I didn't really know what that was.
It was something called The Carrier with Cynthia Erivo.
And so when we recorded it, we had this state-of-the-art studio that we went into where we were across from each other.
The mic was a head, but every part of it was a microphone.
So when you talk to it, you're talking as if this is the person.
If you whisper to this side, the microphone is picking up where you should hear it from when it's being played back.
That's so cool.
That's insane.
If you're away, it sounds away.
If you talk to that person's skull.
So it's that specific.
So I got excited about that.
And they said, hey, do you have any more ideas?
I go to my writing partner, Kyle Chevron, and he had an idea already in his brain and a script for something that was on the feature side. And immediately we went, let's kind of see what, you know, what if this is a thing that we want to do.
And Billy was on board.
Then the pandemic hit and all that cool technology where you're talking
into like microphones shaped like human heads went out the window.
And so we had to do it all here,
literally in the room that I'm in and over Zoom with other people.
Yeah. Majority of the thing, we weren't talking to anyone else,
which was crazy. There was one day where Lamorne and I worked Yeah, majority of the thing, we weren't talking to anyone else, which was crazy.
There was one day where Lamorne and I worked together, but most of it, I was by myself in your house, hiding.
Right, I was going to ask, like, was this all over Zoom?
Like, were you able to, because the rapport in the show is so natural.
Like, I thought that you guys were probably in the studio together so you truly were just you know the more you know the previous show got the the human head mic
treatment billy just got like a fucking airpod in a room so that was a really fun transition
100 i mean you're this is when i say it's it's not that big of a room, but we were here. Nice. Over there in that corner. Home theater set up.
I love it, man.
Easy, Jeff.
Is that 8K?
Do you have the dragon projector from Denon?
We're not talking about that.
Dolby Atmos?
What are we talking, Morris?
That's a 44K projector.
It's so clear.
Jeff is rabid.
It's the future.
Okay, okay.
The actors are here.
They're actually here.
It's a stage.
Yeah, very expensive. I i gotta pay their quotes their
fees and the cast is stacked i mean you got jake johnson from your new girl days lamorne you got
rose mcgyver who's actually the voice of head gum uh she starts and ends every podcast episode that
we put out really yeah this is a head gum original she says in her i'll see yeah you got jayden
mcdonald when i heard her come on i'm like there's
no fucking way no the the cast is amazing the concept is good shit it's so oh yeah and when
you when you put the reason why the reason why we thought billy would be perfect for this is because
it's if you if you know billy as an actor you know how he's he doesn't just like show up to
do the job and just go home this is something that i admire about him so much he he's, he doesn't just like show up to do the job and just go home. This is something that I admire about him so much.
He's genuinely asking you questions.
And why am I saying this?
It doesn't make sense.
How do I, how do I get to this point to this point?
I need you to guide me through your tone, guide me through all those questions that
he has works perfectly for film, but because you're listening to something and you're trying
to get the whole story only using your ears, we needed yeah we needed that logic you know what i mean and so even when
we're here there are moments where billy is straight up going like i know it's a joke but
there has to be a reason behind it you know and why does grant want to go to bora bora like right
you know and i and i found that to be so refreshing because it's easy to just kind of shoot the shit and kick it with your homies.
But you still have to make good stuff.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Otherwise, that thing that you just did will be the last thing that you did if it's dog shit.
Yeah.
So we knew immediately Billy's going to hold us accountable and hold himself accountable to make the project not only
authentic but also very
funny as well because he's one of the
funniest people that I've ever met.
You're the sweetest. I love you
man.
I think he's blowing so much smoke up my
ass because it was
you and Kyle. You guys really
the ones who took it home. I'm not
denying that.
No one said otherwise.
Just saying, couldn't have done it without you
either, my friend. Yeah.
I always love working with you. I'll say this. I know we're on the
topic of unwanted. I am going to switch just slightly.
Slightly to something
that made for love. Is that what
it's called, Billy? Yeah. I posted
the trailer for that. This is the
HBO Max series. Billy's new HBOy yeah i i posted the trailer for that this is the hbo max series billy's new hbo max series i posted the trailer for that and the amount of people and this is i
couldn't make this up but including including my sister alicia you know alicia she goes uh what the
fuck she goes billy billy is really good she's like and then another and then another friend hit me up actually an ex of mine
was like I'm just watching the trailer
and oh my god he's
really fucking good
just watching this I'm entertained by
and it was
I swear to god I'll tell you off camera who
they are
but like
hell yeah the happiest i've ever seen you
such a small thing but i just it just it just i sometimes you because you're friends with people
you forget like just how dope they are and talented they are and you go oh shit we spend
more time just as friends than we do working together yeah so i just i value the friendship
there but there also is something to be said about somebody who's just really fucking good
you're right you're so goddamn sweet i like to think i'm a really good actor i've always said
this billy is so much better than me that i could see where i need to go i could see it i'm like
well fuck that's how he's shit how does he do that then how do you do that and that how do you do
both of those things in the same day like i don't i don't understand a lot of how he does it but
this is the sweetest conversation ever you're a god amongst men is what we're saying dude
he really is speechless dude thank you for saying that that's really sweet i love you and i miss you
dude uh i miss you guys i miss you guys so much yeah
i can't wait till we can get like some fucking drinks after off camera you never said this to
my face because it's simply not true this is all for the podcast but now i look like a goddamn
angel hyping your ass up on air right right? And we want to cut this out.
And Billy, you haven't said jack shit
about Lamorne's talent.
Thanks, Billy.
You really haven't.
Thanks, Billy.
I was going to let him keep going, you know?
All he needs.
I remember the first day I met Lamorne.
We don't have to do that.
I know, but I'm not saying that.
I'm just saying when we met on game night,
I was so excited because in this industry, you know, you have a lot of acquaintances and people you meet through it.
But I met a fucking friend, like a really, really good friend and like one of my best friends on that show.
And like the relationship we've had that has grown since then is I'm so grateful for and honored to, you know, call him my friend. Glass. Yes.
My friend.
Glass.
Yes.
I can't think of anything more Dave and busters than friendship.
Dudes hanging out in an adult Chuckie cheese place.
Yeah.
Not for me.
We're
busters.
I know you are.
That was a beautiful transition jeff absolutely i
appreciate it i appreciate it um do you guys like uh video games do you like arcade games at all
i'm down with david busters all day long take me to a theme parks kind of a place i'm all about it
let's go let's squash them like things do jack of moles and stuff like that yeah yeah
dancing solution yeah i'll break a sweat. I don't care.
I don't care.
Billy is all about that type of shit.
He can't, he
never just wants to come over
just to hang.
It's always like there needs to be
a specific activity in the middle of it
that involves a game.
I introduced you to Coob.
Coob, Fibbage. Well, now you're just saying. Hell, Poker. Oh, I introduced you to Coob. Coob, Fibbage.
Well, now you're just saying.
Hell, poker.
Oh, I introduced poker.
The morning.
Never played poker before hanging out with me.
Well, you got me to lose a bunch of money, if anything.
It's a new bite.
You gained a lot more than what you've lost.
Are you guys competitive?
Like when you play games like that, is it really serious?
Yes.
Oh, 100%.
Biggest smile on Billy's face.
The most competitive person.
Now, for me, I'm kind of easygoing when it comes to games.
I'm like, it's just something to do while drinking.
Yeah.
So I'm like, I'd rather the drinking part.
But the game is cool.
Like, I love playing games, but I've never, maybe once in my life,
has said, hey, guys, what are you all up to? Game night at my house. Like, I've never done that once in my life, have said, hey guys, what are y'all up to?
Game night at my house.
I've never done that.
Plug for game night.
Yeah, plug for game night.
There it is.
Yeah, so Billy, and I will put you on blast here a little bit.
Out of all the good things I said about Billy,
here's a terrible thing about Billy.
Billy, even if he lost, he didn't lose, according to Billy. That's a terrible thing about Billy. Billy, even if he lost, he didn't
lose, according to Billy.
That's not true!
There's no way you cheated.
If you're playing a video game and he
loses, he blames the controller.
I know!
The joystick was stuck!
I swear to God!
You and
Kyle actually got in one of the biggest fights I ever saw.
We were playing that Spyfall game.
It's like Mafia.
Yeah.
Oh, yes.
Oh, my God.
And like, well, no one guessed who I was.
Him and Kyle.
Literally, we had to separate them because we were arguing about something else.
It was like we had another internal beef going on.
It was a deal with Sour. We used to say this. Yeah, it just came else. It was like we had another internal beef going on. It was a jibble with sour.
We used this as a...
Yeah, it just came out.
It was spy fall.
Jeffrey, Dave and Busters, any experience?
Can't get enough of it, Lamorne.
You can't get enough of it, Dave and Busters?
I'm more often there than I am at home.
I mean, because I feel most at home there.
Can't be true.
Really?
No, but I do like a bar with like a game.
At the old HeadGum office too, we had NBA a game at the old head gum office too we had um
nba jam on uh like the old stand-up uh i got that here you have the you have the arcade version
yes right outside he does yes you get quarters in it that's what's the best part yes you get
cash from your your when billy ever comes over That's how he got me to do the unwanted podcast.
He's like, you can play.
You can play anytime you want.
You put it on free mode.
Oh, I can do it for free.
Well, no, I don't think so, but you can play.
Exactly.
Truth be told, that money came out of your pay.
You don't want to really play for free.
But I get competitive at certain things,
like skeeball, The fucking free throw shooting games
At a barcade
Pinball and NBA Jam
I love pool
This is how the pandemic has treated me
I'm in a bowling league now apparently
Oh lord
I did not expect that to happen
Oh my god
I can't
First of all let's just talk about how much time there is in a day sure right let's talk about the
fact that i'm not exaggerating when i say he's one of the if not the best actor that i know
and he's always working he's always shooting something there's always a when the fuck did
you shoot that billy because you're doing road trips you're in bowling leagues you're riding horses you're
fucking cowboy you're doing all these things why did you have the time to be in a bowling league
just like uh what are those okay, cool. Someone asked.
Yeah, sure.
Sure.
Life is about experiencing things.
I think that's what it's about.
Actually, I was doing an interview with Ray Romano yesterday,
and he gave a Lionel Richie quote,
and he says life starts at the point of being uncomfortable.
So actually you always have to,
once you're to that uncomfortable point, now you're living.
Yeah. And we should say that you sleep standing up.
I'm going to treadmill uphill.
What about you? Dave and Buster's experience?
I remember going to Dave and Buster's when I was in like sixth grade.
It was at the age where I was like really excited to be an adult. But I'm like,
I'm still a kid. And I remember thinking, like looking around and seeing these like people in
their 20s and 30s, like having a drink and playing fucking skeeball, whatever. And I'm like,
this is what being an adult is going to be like. And I can't wait. And like thinking about being
like, yo, when I'm an adult, like, I'm going to come here all the fucking time and like drink with my friends and like have drinks that like have ice cubes that glow in the dark.
And like this is what it's going to be.
And I have not been to a Dave and Buzz day since that day.
Oh my gosh.
The idea of it is really fun.
Like getting drunk and playing games.
That sounds awesome but i feel like it's just it really is like an adult chucky cheese of like it's sticky and dark and um i could play
drinking games at home yes i just realized the story from a dave and busters from what i was
really for yeah but i was probably like eight years old nine years old my parents chucky cheese
they took me and my cousin whatever i'm playing a video game kind
of get separated from everyone a little bit this fucking like 16 year old 18 year old kid i don't
know i'm 9 10 starts following me it's like bro give me your fucking coins give me your fucking
coins and like i'm like freaking out i'm so scared i'm looking for anyone of my family i run into my
italian aunt she's like i tell tell her, like, hey, this
guy's bothering me. Fucking, this Italian
woman opens up and she's like,
show me what that motherfucker is.
I'm like, rip your fucking lips
off.
Literally, my dad
and my godfather
had to stop her from
literally killing this, like, 18-year-old.
The interesting thing about that story,
interesting thing about that story is that it usually ends with like you
learning a life lesson of like getting your ass beat.
Like what a lucky scenario that like that kid usually would,
when he, he does this all the time, obviously.
Yeah.
And those kids are who are there that nine or ten-year-old,
is usually by themselves because they're like a latchkey kid
and their parents just don't care.
But you happen to be with your family.
That's like perfect timing.
Yeah, the takeaway there is just have an aunt.
Yeah.
Have an Italian aunt.
New York, Italian.
She would have killed this kid.
You don't understand.
David Buster's for me.
I don't mind.
I don't mind like arcades and big rooms with all these games.
Like I'm,
I'm perfectly okay with it.
I usually stick to one game and one game only.
And that's like pop a shot.
Yeah.
Like just cause I grew up playing basketball and I,
I only get competitive with basketball. Every other game
I go, eh,
the stakes are so low for me.
I'm born in basketball though.
He's always beat me.
I won't bet him though.
I won't bet him.
Yeah, you won't bet me in poker.
Alright, well let's take a quick
break and then we'll get into some reviews.
Marty. Thanks. Marty.
Marty.
Thanks, Marty.
And we're back again with Lamar Morris and Billy Magnuson talking Dave and Busters.
Riley, would you like to start us off with our first review?
You know what, Jeff?
I would love to.
Okay, here we go.
This is five stars.
This is for the Dave and Busters on Hollywood and Highland in Los Angeles.
Okay, five stars.
The writer is Richard B.
Billy, can we get a last name for Richard B?
Bungalow.
Richard Bungalow.
Very Hollywood.
Very San Monica.
Okay. So me and my
friend actually came here because we had to drop
some bombs. And no, we're not
terrorists. I'm talking about number
two. Now, if I'm offending
anybody, I just want to say the bathrooms
here were extremely clean and I was extremely
satisfied. So that's that.
So a quick bathroom stop led to
a three hour ordealdeal the games at this
dnb are awesome you must play the walking dead zombie game one of the best zombie arcade games
i've ever played super super fun and you get cheap thrills but they have everything racing games
crossy roads basketball game and they even have a beer pong game with no beer you just get tickets but they're
really preparing kids at an early age nowadays 90 of the arcade games work which is pretty good for
an arcade i think this place is fun bring your kids take your girlfriend a really good time
remember y'all haters gonna hate have a good time and hashtag live life life oh no no no the dropping bombs was to go into the bathroom and take a huge shit well it's clean
that's true have you have you ever lived in new york city no no i wish public restroom that's
comfortable enough to go number two is it's like a hidden treasure around the city.
I had a gym membership because of that reason in New York.
You didn't have an apartment?
Is your apartment just covered in piss and shit?
Then you're like, I got to go find a gym.
No, no, no.
I'm saying if you're out all day, you can't take the train a half hour that way and be walking
over there and you're like it's gonna take me 45 minutes to get home it's a daily trip to go home
so you made a franchised gym like at like an equinox where there might be one uptown there
might be one downtown that actually is well my trick my trick is that if you know i know we're
talking about different buses and not number twos but but if you did, if you are out and about and you got to really release the crack and what you do is you go into a hotel lobby bathroom.
Those ones are pretty clean.
Not primo.
Yeah.
And they'll never catch you.
Right.
And they smell like diptyque candles, which are really, really nice.
You know, for the for the what was it called for the boys
um this review makes me think of it's just like okay it's when you go to like a starbucks and
have to use the restroom they sometimes make you buy a coffee before so it's like they're
going into a dave and busters and they force them to play a game when they really have to shit
excuse me um do you guys have a bathroom my friends and i really need to shit. Excuse me. Do you guys have a bathroom? My friends and I really
need to go to the bathroom and I just was wondering.
Step right up. Step right up.
You look like a protestant right now.
Yeah, we're going to spin this wheel.
Wow, yeah.
Okay, this one's it. We're doing the
polka. Let's start it up.
Here we go. Five, six, seven, eight.
Alright, I'm doing the polka.
I don't even know what that dance is.
This is making it worse. This is making the problem worse look randy peter can i uh car uh carnival guy i have to take a shit as well but is this like a whole spin the wheel thing before i have
the opportunity to do it or am i gonna shit right now you could go the other way go lefty go for it
he spins it it lands on he has to do a full HIIT workout 25 minutes.
Fuck me.
I'm just going to shit here
just to get it over with because I feel like I have
the sense that that's what everyone's doing.
We see the entire room is populated with people
whose face is a little bit off
and they're kind of waddling.
Right before I was going to hit the HIIT routine
it was the next one was
bathroom break.
It's a tiny sliver.
Guys, I just came back from the bathroom
and it's not even like you have to pay to use it.
You have to have like 500 tickets to even open the door.
Like you have to win a shit ton of games
before they even let you in.
I don't know what we're going to do.
God, it smells terrible in here.
Yeah, I bought a card ticket
because I finished in the bathroom
and I was like, oh, this will be fun.
I could play some games. And yeah robbed me he was like nine let me tell
you something these italian nine-year-olds they run around here they're fucking bullying us
they're we gotta take back the town guys hey we got a couple of newbies around here hey yeah bobby
you know what's happening here i think it's fresh meat is what's happening here.
Bobby, Tommy, this is who we are.
How's it going?
We've been collecting tickets and it's time to pay up right now.
I'm not Jewish.
I don't get bar mitzvah money.
So I come around here and I rob people of tokens and get prizes at the end of the day.
Hey, where are you going?
Keep looking at me.
What are you doing?
You look him directly in the eyes.
You look him directly in the eyes. You look him directly in the eyes.
You look down at me. I'm only two feet tall,
but you look me in the eyes.
Look him in his fucking eyes. Get on one knee.
Get on one knee and look him in his fucking eyes.
Okay, then you do it at the same time because I don't want to do it alone.
Alright, one, two, three. They both kneel.
Alright, hey, we don't want to cause any trouble.
No trouble? We'll give you a couple of our
tickets and then just let us
keep the rest, alright?
I'll be the inflatable dinosaur. Yeah. Just like no trouble. Give you a couple of our tickets and then one. And then just like, let us keep the rest. All right.
Inflatable dinosaur.
Yeah.
You know,
looking at that guitar right there.
So we want electric guitar.
5,600.
What is it,
Bobby?
That's going to be 5,750 tickets.
5,600 and whatever he said,
tickets.
Okay.
And we want that in 15 minutes because in 15 minutes,
I got to jump back on the race car game.
That's gonna take like an hour. Why don't you guys
just play the games and win the tickets yourselves?
Did you guys shit yourselves?
I'm peaking.
Alright, I got another review.
This is...
I'm crowding.
I'm crowding to be sure. There we go. That's the one I got another review. This is... I'm crowning.
I'm crowning to be sure. There we go.
Crowning.
There we go.
That's the one I'm looking for.
I'm crowning.
I couldn't remember the word.
I'm speaking.
All right, this is a four-star review
of the Dave & Buster's in Las Vegas, Nev,
from Merevich C.
Lamorne, do you have a last name?
Chopst.
Merevich Chopst?
C-H-O-P-S-T.
Chopst.
Yeah.
That's one of my favorite names anyone's said on this show.
Maravich Chopst.
Four stars.
First time at this location in Las Vegas.
I had a gift card, so I wanted my girls to have fun and play some games. It's a typical arcade
atmosphere with adult flavor
with bar and restaurant
on the side.
The thing that was strange was a woman
approached me and my girls and
started taking pictures and stated that
she only works for tips, and
she'll print out pics if we purchase
at that time. We spent
about an hour there, and she never came back with
our pictures. She also did not look like she
worked for Dave and Buster's. So it was weird
that she said that. Still want my pictures
though.
You guys
are out to eat at a restaurant.
I come out with
an antique fucking
camera.
Oh, dear. Look at this. look what he's got oh good fuck
are you gonna take a picture i'll take a photo of us what a nice family of three a mom and her
two kids i just got yeah a sepia tone photo of you guys that's gonna be 20 if you want the print
let me know yeah rachel come here come here Rachel, come here. Come here, Larry.
Come here.
Oh, yeah, you want another one?
Mom, no.
Mom, no, no, no.
Because if they're gonna do it, they're gonna charge you like $30 to get the picture.
It's not worth it.
We'll just take a selfie on our phones.
My father works his patootie off.
He's gonna be great.
It's gonna be fine.
Yeah, it's so harsh.
Oh, my God.
Christ.
Oh, my God.
It burns.
It hurts a lot.
Okay, is that it?
Thank you so much.
Thank you. I'll keep coming back around
because sometimes they get progressively better.
It also takes,
the lead time's about four to eight weeks.
Can you guys give me your home address?
Whoa.
No, mom, don't.
No, no, mom, do not.
I'm just writing it down.
I'm just writing it down here.
Look, it's not that we're not comfortable
giving you our home address right there.
It's just that we are just judging
the quality of your photos.
All I'm saying is, if I'm looking at these photos right now and I am your adopted black son,
right? And these sepia tone photos are culturally biased because what's happening is all you guys
are showing up in the photo and I'm not, right? And then now I got to go home and tell dad why
it was a mistake that I was adopted.
Okay, when the iPhone takes perfect pride photos,
you're going to have more family photos and sepia-toned photos where I don't show up.
I'm so sorry.
Mr. Photographer guy, I'm so sorry.
My husband.
I should have done that.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
No, you don't have to hate yourself.
Just like we're here for my brother's birthday.
And now you've upset him. And it would just be not if he just could go. And no, please, Larry, don't have to hate yourself. Just like we're here for my brother's birthday. Like, and now you've upset him and it would just be not if he just could go.
And no, please, Larry, don't cry.
Do you have any more mints?
You know he loves mints.
Just give him a mint.
I can take it on somebody's phone.
Or better yet, I'll take it on my phone.
I'll take it on my phone.
You guys will give me your personal phone number and I'll send it to you guys.
I don't think so.
Okay, there we go.
Seven, seven, three.
Mom!
What?
Why are you giving him your phone?
He doesn't, look, I'm looking at his name tag.
It's a Post-it note taped to his shirt.
Jeremy, Jeremy, do you even work for Dave & Buster's?
Jeremy?
Not currently, no.
But I figured if I took enough photos
and the guests said that they were good,
I'd get a full-time position.
Jeremy, is there any possible way
I could look at your photo?
The one that we just took from your phone?
Yeah, you can take the, yeah.
I'm looking at this photo, Jeremy. Yes. And even from your phone? Yeah, you can take the, yeah. I'm looking at this photo, Jeremy.
Yes.
And even in your phone, the filter you chose,
for some reason, I'm not visible.
I just feel like you're not a good photographer.
You're just really cool with picking filters.
I'm not a good photographer.
I just need a job.
I found this thing at a pawn shop.
It's an antique.
If I replace the light bulb, it works.
I can tell you how you can make some money
from that. I'm a bit of an entrepreneur myself.
How about this? You give
us the camera in its
entirety, right?
Then you give us $20
per photo that we take.
Check fine or?
Yeah, a check will be perfectly
fine. Fine. This is insane.
Jeremy, give me a second guys
this is how business is done this is how you do it i'm proud of you dia no problem no problem no
problem guys use race to get your way happy birthday happy birthday man cut to him on shark
tank yes all right what have you brought to us today i'm it seems like some kind of prototype
of uh some kind of new cooking ware that looks like
an air fryer of some kind. Oh, 100%. Oh, yeah. See, this is a double air fryer. What you want
to do, the problem with the first air fryer is that it doesn't get all the juices. So you put
another air fryer inside of the other air fryer. Therefore, it cooks with the same amount of
electricity, but it acts as if it's going double
the time. You get what I'm saying? I like your
product, but now why am I investing in
you? That's what I want.
I just want to let you guys know I'm a hard worker
and I come
from the streets.
And in those streets... A million dollars.
A million dollars. Thank you.
$10 million.
Thank you. $30 million dollars with 99 ownership of your company
intense music you don't have to you don't have to do the sound effects with your mouth because
we'll do that in post sound effects sound effects look you drive a hard bargain, but...
Not really. 99% ownership.
He's going to fully
absorb you.
But for $30 million,
and right now I could really use
that $30 million. I tell you what,
I'll do you one better. Give me $25
million.
$25 million today,
and you get
99.4% of the4 percent that's more equity okay all right that's less
money for you and more equity for him i don't want to do business with you because of the deal
you just proposed now i was all in before we try some of the food from your air fryer that would
be nice i'm gonna pass out a little sample this is a recipe
yeah from my mom's recipe all right this is a recipe from your mom's recipe right my mom made
a recipe of recipe it's how to make recipes right there's no real like actual edible um
variable to this particular recipe that my mom my mom makes so you're saying it's my mom recipe
and you're just handing us the recipe
on a piece of paper.
Yeah, this is it.
I haven't cooked this.
You're holding it up
while you're turning it to each of us.
It's one sheet of lined paper.
No, I see that.
I see that.
So I guess what you're saying
is we're really going to have to just run
and trust that what would be made
with this recipe will taste great in the double air fryer and you want us to just blindly invest
in that today it's not blindly the paper is looking really nice it is edible well well you
are what you eat you know what i'm saying i know meaning and we we are uh wooden people. Okay.
The way we.
Let's hear him out. We are of the earth.
Okay.
From which we came.
One organism.
Grow wing.
Each one teach one.
It takes a village.
Because you can lead the horse to water, but you can't make a bitch think.
Huh?
Can you?
That is what I'm trying to say.
Okay?
We all need to just be amongst ourselves and grow in order to know.
Cut to the Emmys next year.
And the winner for best episode of reality television goes to Wooden People.
Shark takes it to the team.
Thank you, guys. Thank you, guys.
Speech, speech, speech, speech.
Look, from the bottom of my heart, I just want to thank the fan.
The one.
The air fryer fan.
Alright, Riley, do you want to do your next review oh yeah okay here we go hold on
i want to thank the fan the air fryer fan standing ovation
you guys do this over zoom all the time yeah every week
that's so cool and difficult.
This is one star from Sav B of the Dave and Busters in New Orleans.
Do you have a last name for B, Riley?
Sav B.
Sav Bav.
One star.
We visited Dave and Busters for lunch today, and it was a disaster.
Our server took our order without writing it down and got all three orders completely wrong.
It's pretty simple.
Just write it down.
I will not be returning.
That's rock bottom,
is getting your order wrong at a Dave & Buster's restaurant section.
But it's those waiters who,
it's like a trick that it's like,
well, I don't need to write it down.
Right.
I used to be one of those waiters.
I used to work at this place called Ed DeBevics
where you didn't care
they would come up and be like
hey guys so welcome to Dave and Buster's
may I take your order can I introduce you guys
into some like appetizers
some mozzarella sticks some nachos
um yeah
I didn't want to be like it's my dirty 30
it's her 30th birthday
hey guys we got a birthday party over here.
This is your birthday song.
It is very long.
So I think maybe like some, just some like notches for the tables and maybe, maybe some
dirty martinis.
Some dirty martinis for the table.
And we do have a lot of allergies.
We should tell you we have a ton of allergies.
Shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot.
Gluten intolerant.
You want to write any of these down?
There's a lot.
Straight off the jack.
I'm pretty good.
Okay.
Nut allergy, milk allergy,
grass allergy.
Right, we don't serve grass here.
She can't have too much water.
She has water poisoning
way sooner than anyone else.
Oh, okay, that makes sense.
Soy is gone.
Okay, cool.
Allergic to shellfish.
Allergic to shellfish.
So just make sure, yeah,
get it to a T would be great.
So let me just shoot it back
at you really quick um you guys want to have oh it's the birthday time again it's the birthday
thing again the order's coming on now which one you guys had the the water on the rocks with ice
uh that would be you who had the grass pie? We didn't even order yet.
We just told you our allergies.
The food is already here, so if you guys
want to go ahead and take it, I can give it to someone else.
Sorry, he put water and grass
on the table, Chrissy.
Those were two of the things that she could not have.
Why didn't you just say so before?
It's all good.
We did.
His face is slowly starting to swell. It's all right just take him away but that's
fine those are two of her lesser allergies so as long as we don't have any gluten as long we don't
have any nuts that's fine i'm gonna just go check joey uh uh do uh we got any more allergy
situations happening like yeah you want some peanuts no no no anything but peanuts we got
some shrimp we got really good crawfish. Allergic to shellfish.
Allergic to shellfish.
Turning into like violet Beauregard.
Just like bigger and bigger.
All four things she cannot have.
And you said there was crawdads on the way?
100%.
Crawdads.
100%.
Even allergies aside, this is your normal spread?
Yes.
Water, grass, peanut butter on toast, and shrimp?
Yeah, because those are from the earth
those are the most natural uh substances you can come by a second i feel like i recognize you from
somewhere oh yeah you guys caught me on episode of shark tank yeah yeah i kind of blew through all
that cash well i couldn't really make a deal um so i blew through all that the money that i did
have but now it brings me here you know what i'm saying because you always got to start from
somewhere there was no up there this whole, I've been rolling out of the restaurant.
Dave and Buster's chefs are pushing me out of the door.
So if you guys want to, I don't know, use cash or credit card to pay the tab,
I mean, someone's got to kind of pay the bill here.
We didn't know any of this, man. My friend is a hive. She is a hive.
Yes!
Show me all what you've got.
Billy, Lamorne. Yes.
What's been shaking you? Something you're
obsessed with? Something you read recently?
Something you just bought? An impulse
buy? Anything the floor is yours. Go. oh what has been you know what what's been shaking me
here's why i am shook if i am a lebron fan i am a lakers fan but the idea that i can't
root for well when i say i'm a lakers fan, I mean, that's just because that's
where LeBron is, right? The idea, and I hear this all the time, I posted something recently on
Instagram about this bias that LeBron, because two people in his life have hit big shots,
that they have saved his legacy. When, if Michael John Paxson, numerous, numerous occasions, Steve Kerr,
Bill Wennington, these are all folks that have hit game winning go ahead buckets to
save Michael Jordan's legacy. But we don't consider it that, you know why? Because
Michael Jordan was just so good. So I say to those folks, in those games that Kyrie hit a game-winning shot,
where Ray Allen hit a game-tying shot, what did LeBron do?
Let's talk about that game against the Spurs, okay?
Listen, Ray, they were, the Miami Heat were down.
They were down so many points to the Spurs,
and LeBron single-handedly let them. Shooting distance, yeah.
Exactly. Hit the three that put
him down three. They were down six. Hit a three
and put him down three. Misses one.
Ray Allen, whose job is to
shoot the ball.
Ray Allen did his job
and everyone says, oh, you saved
him. Is LeBron the only person
allowed to not have
teammates?
Yes.
You know what I'm saying?
You're preaching to the choir here because I'm from Cleveland.
And yeah, no, it's just it disgusts me.
Also, he never gets any credit for the game winning shots.
He does hit like the one against Chicago in 2015.
Like, you know, it's Orlando.
Two against Washington.
But Jordan gets all the credit for sending them to the, what, 99, 98 finals over Cleveland with that free throw line.
Yeah.
Right.
And then they still lost.
Yeah.
And LeBron can lose in the finals. And they'll say, how did you lose in the finals?
Well, it's better than losing in the first round.
Yeah.
It's better than not getting to the playoffs at all but for some
reason because you in the east can't stop him from getting or now in the west can't stop him
from getting to the finals he's bad because there is a he comes up against someone at a squad that's
better because they have to form it to get past him that's the other exactly they never did that
with me 100 and i fear that this year will be the year. Because I think Brooklyn's going to win the championship this year.
But let's be clear.
They have every player on their team.
Their starting five is an all-star starting lineup from 2017.
100%.
There's people that I ain't seen in so long.
I love Blake Griffin.
But he just went to Detroit and just didn't care because Detroit, you know, I get it.
He made TV.
Blake Griffin.
Yeah.
Now he's making a reemergence.
There's cats I haven't seen in so long.
My dad plays for Brooklyn. I ain't seen
this motherfucker in so long.
You want to know where he is? Turn on the Brooklyn game.
That's where he at.
Everybody's going to Brooklyn
to beat LeBron. That's what pisses
me off. Good man. I love that.
Billy?
Not sports related.
Honestly, Billy with the weather.
Billy.
It's hot outside.
It's actually pouring here right now.
For what I've been obsessing about is my garden.
I've got into really a lot of gardening, doing my tomatoes, my peppers,
you know, my rosemary.
I got some lavender going.
I got parsley.
I'm like, just
building that up.
Put up these bushes around.
Have you been able to to eat
anything that you've made yet or
is it all still?
I cook basil and stuff like that.
And also planting arugula.
I didn't realize how spicy
arugula is actually. Like not the spot stuff, but proper proper arugula I didn't realize how spicy arugula is actually not the spots
up but proper proper arugula is icy damn um I'm obsessed with that and like my
own compost pile and like taking all the stuff my coffee grinds at all food and
building that up but really exciting I made like a little uh what do you call it bed yeah yeah yeah yeah that's awesome
that a little bit that's awesome yeah yeah cool it's really nice to just i i tell you to get my
hands really dirty live off the land yeah this is bullshit this feels good this is complete
bullshit this is bullshit let me tell you why it's bullshit, Billy. Why? You mean to tell me you
now have time to have a fucking green thumb?
You're out here building up
rainforest and shit on top of big
cowboy, a
bowling enthusiast,
a road tripper, a golf club.
A fucking
way. A poker
hustler. I gotta get my life together.
How many hours a week do you you get billy i go for eight
what
all right guys that's awesome
um jeffrey yeah so what's been shaking me uh billy i wasn't sure if i was gonna do this or
not but while we have you here it kind of relates to you
oh my god
so recently can you guys see this I'm sharing my screen
so
and we'll post this to the Instagram
Billy
recently I was trying to find a cheap pull out
couch because my roommates and I have like a small
den room and we want to be able to host
people
and I found this a small den room and we want to be able to host people.
And I found this photo on Ikea of a guy sitting very
poorly, very awkwardly.
He's trying to do a number two at David Buster's.
He just shat himself
at David Buster's.
But one of our co-workers at HeadGum,
Marika, couldn't help but notice that it
looked like Tony nominee Billy Magnuson.
Care to comment? Oh my to comment oh my gosh oh my god that's actually just so you know in my college days i did do some of
these still no fucking way yeah no can you please blow it up and put it in your bedroom
i'll send it into frame bridge we'll get it uh we'll get it framed it'll be a whole thing
i'll ship it to you oh my god thank you oh my god that well it looks a lot like i'm just i'm
bugging out that photo yeah um but that's what's been shaking me good man riley what about you um
well jeff thanks for asking um i've been been rewatching old seasons of Survivor, like from like 2006, actually maybe like even
2003, 2006, whatever the first All-Stars season was.
And in watching that, just like really thinking about how shit I would be on that show.
Because I'd love to be on Amazing. I think you would
crush it. Oh, I'm
too trusting, Billy. It's like
there's a thing. It's like I've been talking with, I live with
my boyfriend and our
roommate, our friend, and like
my roommate Elizabeth, she
is like obsessed with Big Brother. She'd be
incredible at any of these kinds of games. My boyfriend
Daniel would be amazing
at like he's so be incredible at any of these kinds of games my boyfriend daniel would be amazing um at
like he's he's so he's competitive but he's also very charismatic so everyone would love him they'd
either vote him out first or keep or he'd win and me i just kind of get there i wouldn't be great at
challenges i'd be too trusting of everyone so everyone just be like we'll be in alliance like
i got you i'm like oh fuck yeah jeff's got me like i'm set and then jillian come be like hey hey you like you mean the more and
we're all the way to the end i'm like hell yeah i'm set and they bought you off that day yeah
wasn't it like the original guy and nudist that one or something like that oh yeah
yeah oh that's also wild about watching like old apps i'm like it is so 2003 man it is wild um but then also
which 2003 was only like four years ago right no man no yeah hey billy billy we're old bruh
we're older bruh all the time um but also i've been begging jeff to go i think jeff and i would
uh be excellent on Amazing Race together.
I don't think so.
I will do it.
I'll say that the day I die.
I would sign up for that in a heartbeat.
I want to do Amazing Race so bad.
Of course you would do it.
Have you ever heard of the rickshaw race in India?
No.
No.
It's the rickshaw race.
You can Google it.
I think it's 3 000 kilometers you got uh two
weeks 150 kilometers a day they give you a rickshaw they have point a to point b you got
two weeks to get there billy's training for that once he's done pruning his garden billy what are
the what are the nomad games billy the nomad games it's like The Nomad Games, it's like the Olympics
for like the
I don't want to say Middle East, but
it's centered there. I went to Kyrgyzstan
and was on the first ever American
Coke-Baru team. Holy shit.
Coke-Baru is a, it's basically
like hockey.
It's like hockey,
but it's on horseback and the ball is a dead goat carcass and you have to lean off your horse and pick up an 80 pound dead goat carcass and throw it in the other team's goal.
I was part of the first ever American Kokoro team that went over.
And Lamorne, what did you do with your summer?
I traded baseball cards with myself.
I tried to write a script. It didn't work out.
But speaking
of scripts, bringing it all back to
Unwanted, we know you guys have more shit to do
today. Just one last time, plug the show
or anything else you guys want to point people
to, social media, the floor is yours, go.
This show, Unwanted,
quite frankly, is the greatest show
of all time i think when it's all said and done tears will tear babies will born babies will born
babies will born and life will live and i just think that we all need to come together,
sit around our iPhones,
our Samsung galaxies,
our laptops,
our car speakers,
or whatever our listening device may be,
our Apple home pods,
our Google listening devices,
whatever it is.
And just live,
listen to something unwanted.
I think it tells the tale of our favorite genre of 80s action movies,
but set in a modern day. And with the voiceover actors that we have,
it'll fucking crush your panties, man.
And I think that we should all just just binge out.
That's what my uncle used to say.
It's like,
crush the panties! And I was like, why?
But, yeah.
He's in jail.
I was worried about that.
Also, not my real uncle. He was just a dude
who showed up at our house all the time.
Did your parents know he was around?
Is this all one tall quote?
No, no. Parents had no idea he was around? This is all one poll quote. No, no.
Parents had no idea he was there.
Oh my God.
Billy, do you want to plug what it made for love,
social media, anything?
No, I would love to plug your podcast
and I wish you guys the best of luck
in continuing down this journey.
It's really a wonderful platform
that our program that you set up
and I hope it continues to grow
and I wish you all the best
of luck that's so nice um that's so nice thank you for saying that and thank you guys so much
for we know you're so busy with press and everything we really appreciate it uh our
listeners are gonna love this episode yeah thank you guys so much no yeah thank you guys so much
thank you all i appreciate it we'll let you guys go all All right. Love y'all. You too. No, you don't.
Well, you know, for the show.
Peace.
Bye.
We should mention that this episode and our show is taking part in Comedy Week on Stitcher.
April Fool's.
That's good.
Yeah.
Because it's not real, right?
No.
Well, that's, yeah.
This week is Stitcher Comedy Week because it's April Fool's, which is just like a joking holiday.
I feel like I'm losing you.
Your face is like so confused.
Wait, we're actually,
we actually are part of Comedy Week on Stitcher. We actually are part of Comedy Week at Stitcher, yeah.
Oh, hell yeah.
Wait, you're talking about the one
where they celebrate our show
plus some other hilarious podcasts for April Fool's?
Absolutely, all right?
It's no tricks,
just the treat of listening to Review Review
and many other comedy shows that you might not be aware of all for free on Stitcher.
Check out their curated homepage to find your next comedy pod obsession.
And if you're listening on your phone, you can download Stitcher in your app store or go to Stitcher app dot com slash comedy to learn more.
So thank you so much to Stitcher for including us.
Thank you, Stitcher.
We're really proud and really appreciative that you guys are featuring featuring the show so go check that out should we thank some
vi podcasts i guess thank you to aaron carico adam shea agent michael well scarn a co alex
watts alex witt alton burkholder olivar wallstrom lindell anna live welcome to anna new podcast anthony amadeo ari rubin
oh no fuck me ostung twister pad kid poured curd pulled cod
avery anderson the third fan account oh bag of dew bob gainfully employed nolan oh sorry bob gainfully employ nolan in 2021
buell awful nickname brad hilde brandon razon breg my god megs brian dodd brownlee's brothers
chuck cameron bradley chaston bales Christian Basketball. Connor Finnegan.
Curbature.
Hello.
Welcome.
Welcome, Curbature.
Damian the Christachemian Kirk.
Daniel Bonney.
Eric Crust.
Fancy Octopus.
Felicity Britton.
Another movie I podcast.
This is huge for us.
Feeve Stara.
Garrett Glasbergen.
Greg Berg.
Hallie.
Hot Dog.
Holly.
Isaac Puff. Jake the Snake Raddiff. Hallie. Hot Dog. Holly. Isaac Puff.
Jake the Snake Radiff.
Jake Knight.
Jake Ullman.
Jamie Poncia.
Jared.
Jesse Tipton.
Oh, I'm so sorry if I butcher this.
Jibe Gosley.
Welcome.
Jibe Gosley.
I hope I'm saying that right.
DM me on Instagram if it's wrong.
Jimmy Songlaf.
Another new.
Oh my God, so exciting.
Christ. John Phelps. Another new. Oh my God. So exciting.
John Phelps.
Another new.
Welcome.
This is new.
Yeah, this is new too.
This is insane. Thank you guys for the support.
Jonah Sanchez.
Jub FPV.
Caleb Lester.
Katie Ross.
Kevin Sunt.
Kinsey Wass.
Kerwin.
Kobe Holus.
Lauren Malang.
Malik.
Mark Priest.
Matt Yeasty.
Matthew Luzava.
Michael Rowland.
Mikey Mike and the Funky Bunch.
Much to my sugar and, so.
Nate Porteus.
Here we go.
No, God.
Nolan Murphy is 23 years old.
He has two TikTok accounts and thus zero job prospects.
Like who would hire such a man?
Just have one TikTok, right?
Obviously.
You don't need a fic foc like a Finsta TikTok.
God. P. Phoenix McVernonoc like a finsta TikTok. God.
P.
Phoenix McVernon.
Rooster Williams.
Another new DI podcast.
Sabrina.
Sam Adams.
Sam Armstrong.
Sarah Kilduff.
Slick Ricky.
Space Ant.
Spencer.
Stefan.
Stephanie Cass.
Theodore Giesen.
TR, aka Ghoulia Bui-Dreyfus.
Tyler Ray Hawkins.
Wilbany Tez. Xander Madsen. And Yaro Bouchard.R. aka Ghoulia Bui-Dreyfus. Tyler Ray Hawkins. Wilbany Tez.
Xander Madsen.
And Yaro Bouchard.
Wow.
Thank you to all our new VI podcasts.
Oh, thank you so much for your support.
And if you guys also want to sign up at this tier or the normal tier at $3.99
for access to bonus content, comedy sketches, Q&A live streams,
and VIP Zoom parties at the higher tier,
you can subscribe
at patreon.com
forward slash Riley and Jeff
you can find
Jeffrey on Instagram
at Jeffrey James
and on Twitter
at Jeff Boyardee
and the show
on Instagram
at Review Review
and on Twitter
at Review Review Show
and on Reddit
r slash Review Review
and you can follow Riley
on Instagram
at Riley and Spa
and on Twitter
at Riley Coyote
thank you guys so much
for listening to this week's episode of review review.
If you're new,
if stitcher comedy sent you here,
welcome.
Uh,
we have a backlog of episodes to listen to and we release episodes every
Tuesday and sometimes on Friday.
Um,
we have,
uh,
we've had guests like Caleb Heron,
Shelby Woolstein,
uh,
Kylie,
Lauren,
Ryan,
Kylie,
Jeff, Jake, uh, Finn Wolfhard, et cetera, et cetera. So go, maybe go check those out. uh kylie laurin laurin laurin laurin ryan gall kylie brakeman jeff probst jake namir uh finn
wolfhard etc etc so go maybe go check those out if you like those people as well john gabrus yeah
yeah gabrus too if you're a comedy nerd which i assume you are because you're coming from stitcher
fucking dork ass easy no i'm serious let's just i don't want nerds no come on we do we want anyone
right we're nerds we're comedy nerds yeah i get that on. We do. We want anyone, right? We're nerds. We're comedy nerds.
Yeah, I get that.
I get that for sure.
We'll catch you next time.
Arrivederci.
That was a Hiddem Original.