Review Revue - Delis (w/ Jon Gabrus!)

Episode Date: October 6, 2020

Comedian Jon Gabrus (host of High & Mighty) joins Reilly and Geoff to read reviews about Delis and to discuss clamatos, ideal deli fare, and the Lindbergh baby!Follow Gabrus, Reilly, and ...Geoff:IG: @gabrus, @reillyanspaugh, & @iamgeoffreyjamesTwitter: @gabrus, @reilecoyote, & @dontplaynojamesAdvertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Original. Get that Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. At participating restaurants for a limited time.
Starting point is 00:00:22 I just wanna know how you feel. for a limited time. The first thing they hear is Okay You know I actually have to go babysit You guys see the name on the fucking description It's not just Riley and I today We have a podcasting Lothario really You guys see the name on the fucking description. It's not just Riley and I today. We have a podcasting Lothario, really, a Casanova when it comes to all things audio laughs.
Starting point is 00:01:15 We have John Gabrus on the show. Hi. Thanks for coming on. Guy Code, raised by TV, high and mighty. Action Boys. What was the one? You were in What We Do in the Shadows. I caught you on that. You can just plug podcasts because when you plug TV,
Starting point is 00:01:33 it scares me because of how long ago it was. I'm waiting for season three to come out, and then you're just suddenly back as a series regular on that show. I haven't been DMing Jermaine clement who does not know me at all saying like i think they should go to the dock again it's humiliating i was literally a pilot of what we do in the shadows which means a pilot is filmed even earlier than the rest of the season so i filmed that like four years ago. So you bringing that up reminds me that I've done maybe two things since then.
Starting point is 00:02:10 We love it. You know what's funny is that on High and Mighty, you're always talking about how you don't consider yourself, like you're not where you want to be. But I consider yourself, I would be so happy to be where you're at. I know. And that's the fucking realization that we all need to have is that there's people out there who would be killed to be where you are at.
Starting point is 00:02:30 You guys would love to be where I'm at. I'd love to be where this person standing just off camera, Jason Segel. Can he talk? Seth Rogen is on this. Can he talk on the show or are they just going to hang out? Neither of them. I asked them. They don't even want to guest on my podcast.
Starting point is 00:02:48 Okay. Okay. That's fair. I think they're both listening to Dough of them i asked them uh they don't even want to guest on my podcast okay they just want to that's fair i think they're both listening to dough boys off camera to be honest so i don't blame them did i miss anything is there anything you want to plug up top no no no podcast is where it's at because i also think it might be the only thing going on in the next couple of years so i'm gonna stick with it and let's love podcasts. Let's love podcasts. Hi, Mighty Action Boys, the Gino Lombardo show, Raised by TV. Four podcasts, arguably. One is at least defunct, thank God. My most popular successful one is now. Thank God that one's over and I'm just busting my ass on three more. Thank God I distanced myself from Laurenuren lapkus the uh proven talent and success
Starting point is 00:03:26 finally i'm out on my own yeah we tried to get her for this episode too and she said god no no she said is gabriel's doing it and you were like yeah i think that would be a selling point she sprayed herself with pepper spray and said i can't do it women hey tell me about it right god i know seriously right you know you're a woman i fucking know women jeff is like learning about them we're all set jeff's heard of them i just don't like i keep rubbing them the wrong way and i'm just like i don't know don't rub them at all dude that's the trick right you gotta wait until they uh specifically request to be rubbed. And that never happens for me. That's the fucking issue. And Jeffrey, it's not just women. It's just kind of... That's the rub.
Starting point is 00:04:09 It's everyone. It's the rub. The rub is there is no rub. Therein lies the rub. The lack of rub rubs you the wrong way. And that's the thing too is I just moved into this new place. Like I said, living in a basement. My roommates are all upstairs. Separate entrance for me. They had to build
Starting point is 00:04:26 it out just so that I don't have to walk through the house to see them. Oh, hell yeah. The house didn't come that way. Normally a plus, but they didn't give me a key to the main house, right? So I'm trying to jiggle the lock and they're like, no way, man. We don't want to see you. They're like, climb into the storm drain like we left for you, bro.
Starting point is 00:04:42 He's like, that door at the door. Covered in dry rainwater. It's like, you gotta go in the same way all the cave crickets do, Jeff. I think it was maybe last week, this week, I don't know, but we talked about how the entrance to Jeff's part of the house is
Starting point is 00:05:00 very treacherous and spooky. A skinny alleyway. When Jeff brings a lady over, she will absolutely think she's going to be murdered. Well, at least that's not something you have to worry about. Yeah. Oh, thank God we don't have to be stressed about that, though. Right.
Starting point is 00:05:18 Oh, my God. Isn't it so cool? It's all fun and games on the show, but when I hang up, I just cry myself to sleep every night on these little gentle ribbings that you guys think is a lot of fun actually i think it's like really really cool to like be in a relationship during this time and it's like it's just like such a special thing like i mean it's like you know gabriel obviously you're with your wife and with
Starting point is 00:05:36 i'm with daniel and it's just like it's so it's just so nice to like not sleep alone does that make sense i can't even lie on the grass is greener on every side i will i will say you know i'm 200 days into quarantine sharing a apartment with a working from home wife who has a real job that involves calls all day and video chats uh i'm not gonna lie i'm maybe too fat for the aforementioned alley but i'd love to try it you'd love to try the entrance I'd love to try an alley I'm at the level of quarantine the time into the quarantine where Jeff's like I live
Starting point is 00:06:11 in a basement by myself and it's impossible to get in and out of I'm like appealing that sounds by yourself you say like to confirm no one else no one else sounds great to me i guarantee if you had my wife on the pod she would agree tell me more about your fucking basement solo apartment i might need a fucking separate entrance into a crawl space in my house she's gonna build one for me get into
Starting point is 00:06:39 the room through a fucking air duct yeah i enter I enter through the half-bath toilet somehow. But we can all agree that you're never alone when you're with the Holy Spirit. Let's really get into it. Thank God. God damn it. What kind of transition? No, I'm just saying delis are sort of the second coming of Christ,
Starting point is 00:06:58 which maybe doesn't make a lot of sense because oftentimes they're Jewish. Famously Jewish delis are the second coming of Christ. I will say this is where I will stand up for the other people that own delis. Italian deli. The Italians, we own some delis. We own some delis.
Starting point is 00:07:12 And they're very into Jesus. Sorry, I've ribbed white tank top crucifix. A-frame t-shirt. Oh, no. I like to put on an A-frame t-shirt and slap my wife around. Holy shit. Have you ever worn it? It's fucked up.
Starting point is 00:07:31 Call it an A-frame shirt, but I still wear it when I tee off on my wife. God. It's T-ball to you. Have you ever worn an A-frame tank in an A-frame house? No, because the A-frame shirt was a part of my East Coast life. And so A-frame houses became part of my west coast life so the two have never met though i think i might have mac weldon a-frame tank tops somewhere in one of this the visible drawers behind me also i'm realizing now that you do record the zoom and i took it in a cut off t-shirt
Starting point is 00:08:02 it just came to me i was like oh i'm like looking at my messy ass apartment in the Zoom and I took it in a cut off t-shirt. It just came to me. I was like, oh, I'm like looking at my messy ass apartment in the background and then just remembered that you filmed this and I'm like, well, well, in too deep.
Starting point is 00:08:13 Visible pit sweat. Let's just kind of redeem the shirt though because what is the logo? What does it say? This has been in my life for a very long time. Oh my God. It's a dare t-shirt resist.
Starting point is 00:08:23 What is it? Drugs and violence? Yeah, dare to resist drugs and violence. I dare you.shirt resist what is it drugs and violence yeah dare to resist drugs and violence I dare you I dare you to resist drugs and violence I literally triple dog dare you
Starting point is 00:08:30 I'm not even kidding I dare you to resist it fuck I can't I lose consequences I'll buy you a coke I don't even know the rules Gabus what are your
Starting point is 00:08:38 what is your experience with delis it was really fun I have to say it was really fun coming up with things for you because you have a whole brand yeah I'm pretty i pretty much wear my personality on my sleeve not very or not about me or not i just wear it right there on the fucking tricep brother uh
Starting point is 00:08:54 yeah i uh i have a strong i have a strong brand it helps if you have 250 episodes of a podcast where you play yourself and just talk constantly over all your guests you guys will learn all about that shortly um yes uh you guys list for both what you wanted to do for review review and for what you wanted to do for high and mighty when you sent me the high and mighty topic ideas i it was cupid shot me in the fucking heart dude shot through the heart um and like you didn't give love a bad name you gave it a great name and that name was like spoiler i don't even know when these episodes are airing but spoilers you guys are also on my pot whatever i fucking love delis i ate breakfast at them like all the time and i i've lived in very deli heavy uh cultures which is cultures or areas long island for my entire upbringing and then uh York City for 10 years after
Starting point is 00:09:46 college before moving out here. I have tons of deli experience. I ate breakfast at a deli every morning when I was a lifeguard because you just want bacon, egg, and cheese. Pre-coffee, you just get bacon, egg, and cheese and Gatorade. Then when you get to be a real man and start drinking coffee, you get bacon, egg, and cheese and coffee. Sausage, egg, and
Starting point is 00:10:02 cheese. I'm a grown man now. I upgraded. Bacon's for babies. I'm a grown man now. I upgraded. Bacon's for babies. Yelling at the counter guy? Yeah, I don't know, man. I'll have a sausage, egg, and cheese and a Bloody Mary because I'm 19 now. We don't have that. I'm a man.
Starting point is 00:10:15 All right. I'll take a Clamato then. I brought my own vodka. When I was in a fraternity for a semester in college, they forced me to drink a Clamato because I accidentally. Well, this isn't a good story for the show. No, we can leave it out. I pissed on one of the seniors' beds. Can y'all remind me what's in a Clamato, please?
Starting point is 00:10:39 Just to remind you, because you'll remember. I used to drink it all the time. It'll all come back to drink it all the time i'm positive you used to drink it all the time because it's a perfect blend of tomato juice and clam juice that's absolutely right bud light makes one that's a combination of clam juice tomato juice and bud lights in case you needed one more thing to make it absolutely disgusting thank you it's all coming back to me now oh my god my God. My youth. Everything. Everything. Oh, I remember when I was a child dock worker drinking a Clamato as the ships would come in.
Starting point is 00:11:11 We used to make our own Clamatos with our own two hands and our own clams. I used to bring clams. My wife back in the day had a tomato garden and we would just combine the two. The old life when I was a married Sicilian fucking longshoreman. The worst couple in the fucking world. Ten years old and like yellow wellies up to my thighs.
Starting point is 00:11:35 Cracking an egg into a Clamato beverage. What the fuck? Rise and shine bitches. Ancient dog worker child. Come here son, it's time for your first drink Just shaving Instead of salt in the rim it's just pubes
Starting point is 00:11:52 Why? Why? Wrong word Wine Let's get some rosé in the bitch Okay I just put a magnum of red wine in my fridge for a little chilled red
Starting point is 00:12:09 later on my porch that's not a bit either big Thursday night plans for Uncle Gabrus you just said wine and I was like yes I'll be drinking that soon enough you even moved the recording of this up a half hour.
Starting point is 00:12:25 I'm like, well, I actually am done now. If we recorded three, I could drink soon. It was like literally in my brain. It's the motherfucking quarantine. I pissed my bed this year. Because you were drunk? I was fucking wasted and I pissed. My wife woke up to what she thought was a pipe leaking
Starting point is 00:12:41 because I was laying on my side at the edge of my bed. It wasn't. It was technically a pipe had burst. I was taking a full on 300 pound man piss like leaning on my side on the side of the bed. My wife woke up to it. It was landing
Starting point is 00:13:01 in like an inch deep puddle of my completely clear because I had been drinking so much tequila and soda and so much water. She woke up to it it was landing in like an inch deep puddle of my completely clear because i had been drinking so much tequila and soda and so much water she woke up at like the end of it and it still had 30 seconds left i hadn't i haven't even got i haven't even gotten that fucked up since then because i was like truly like that's just not supposed to happen to you once you're like 40 it's the old cameron hey ma where he like, and you know I can lay the pipe. So for you, that's what it means.
Starting point is 00:13:28 That guy was incorrect. I can lay the pipe, but it was mostly for sewage reasons, not any pipe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Runoff style. So breakfast at deli's,
Starting point is 00:13:39 what else? Breakfast at deli's, deli lunch, and then when I moved to New York City, when I moved to Brooklyn, I had four delis on thei lunch and then when i moved to new york city when i moved to brooklyn uh like i had four delis on like the three corners i lived in i lived like at every single intersection i like
Starting point is 00:13:51 and i had went to different delis for different reasons like mrs kim had the better price on beers but the colombian guys on the corner um they were called columbia foods and so i'm not just like racially labeling them though i guess saying m. Kim is weirdly a racial relation too. But whatever, you know what I'm saying. This Asian broad sold me beer. These Colombian guys sold me breakfast.
Starting point is 00:14:12 Iced coffee at one of the two of them. New York melting pot of the world, bro. It's all a melting pot. We got fucking Puerto Ricans running around. We got fucking Italians over here. Jews doing their thing.
Starting point is 00:14:24 See you all in the corner thing just yelling all racially charged but no no slurs no labeling of anyone just describing it hey italians used to be discriminated against here too and then there was a like you had to know which delis would still serve iced coffee in the winter and then when you got a new job at like uh for me like as a freelancer it'd be like where am me, like as a freelancer, it'd be like, where am I working? There's a deli by UCB where you can get beer and late night food.
Starting point is 00:14:50 There's a, like, I just knew where everything that I, oh, there's four delis on this intersection. Well, the Northwest Deli, it makes the best chicken cutlet sandwiches. But if you want an Italian combo, I'm back around the Southeast corner. Like you just eventually learn that. Those guys have scratch-offs, but no sandwiches.
Starting point is 00:15:05 These guys have sandwiches, but no scratch-offs. You eventually learn it all. And for those of you who don't live in the tri-state area, New York and Long Island are fucking deli rampant. In my hometown of Belmore, New York, which is X amount of square feet, it's like four minutes to drive across uh has like 11 delis and then once you take that four minute drive into any other town in any direction they have 11 to 15 days they're everywhere dude where do you guys have were delis a big part of your lives growing up i mean so i'm from la and so growing up like i mean not really like the big one would just be like i don't know like canters like that would be like the only like look one of the local one,
Starting point is 00:15:46 at least like one that I knew that I'm like, Oh yes, that is, that is a deli that I can go to. LA is more like LA is more like burger and donuts than like a day and pizza. Like New York is sort of leans towards deli pizza, that world and LA. Cause that's what the main,
Starting point is 00:16:02 my main complaint about LA is I'm having a hard time finding like New York had so many delis that like LA has some delis but if you go to it it's like
Starting point is 00:16:10 it's $41 the sandwich takes an hour and a half and in like New York it's like it's four bucks and I throw it in the dumpster and you gotta get it yourself
Starting point is 00:16:18 and you have to catch it on the way out yeah yeah and we're putting out 40 in the next half hour because there's tons of people waiting and like
Starting point is 00:16:24 it's just a different vibe and so like it doesn't that isn't really the culture Yeah, yeah. And we're putting out 40 in the next half hour because there's tons of people waiting in line. It's just a different vibe. Yeah. And so that isn't really the culture. No, it's not the same. Also, it's not really a walking culture. So you're not really like, I need to grab a coffee and a sandwich for my walk or I need to grab it outside my office.
Starting point is 00:16:37 Yeah. That was the big adjustment when I moved to Los Angeles was the sort of, you don't do things on the way to other things. It's not an on-the-go friendly place at all. Yeah, in New York it would be like, oh, we'll grab, we're going to Jeff's basement for a party, super depressing.
Starting point is 00:16:52 Yeah, thank you. Let's bring him some white wine, and it's like, okay, well we'll grab white wine on the walk to the subway, or the walk from the subway to Jeff. Here in LA it's like, do we have white wine at the house? No, it's like, I'm not trying to find parking twice.
Starting point is 00:17:03 Jeff gets nothing. I'm jealous of people who did because I love an on-the-go kind of thing. Yeah, and also people think delis and think exclusively sandwiches, which is the highlight. But part of the fun of delis, especially in New York City when you get into deli bodega territory, it's like, all right, it's 2.30 in the morning. I'm going to get two gatorades an ice coffee for the morning a sandwich to eat right now something to eat in the morning a bag of chips two rolls of toilet paper like yeah i'll get nyquil like you can like get like 11 errands done
Starting point is 00:17:35 and just spend a half hour figuring out the atm machine to pay or whatever but then it's fucking and fucking ruled that's the main thing i miss about yeah east coast yeah fuck bagels fuck pizza i love it but i don't need to eat that shit all the time the main thing i miss is like deli culture and it just wouldn't work here because it would need to have such parking that people can come in and out you know what i mean to be like grove size parking lot for it to be worth it for people here yeah there's and it makes, there's not a place where that could pop up and make sense for anyone. Or if it is,
Starting point is 00:18:07 it's at a place like the Grove and you're not gonna go get locks at fucking the Americana. Right, right, right. But Riley, you just had locks the other day. You used your, correct me if I'm wrong, your laptop as a plate. No, I will correct you
Starting point is 00:18:21 because no, I did not use, I did not use my laptop as a plate. I had locks and then typed and so that's why I said my keyboard is fish because I absolutely get it right get it right it wasn't get it right Jeff it was the napkin essentially so um it's more oil my mom um she was just like my mom is an online shopping fiend and um well she was just like my mom is an online shopping fiend and while she was just online she just texted me one day she goes I ordered some stuff
Starting point is 00:18:50 from Zabar's for you I'm like beautiful thank you because I love a bagel I love some cream cheese love some lox and give me all the above
Starting point is 00:19:00 and then throw even white fish salad on top and I'm there for it beautiful sliced thin red onion. No capers for Uncle Capers. Oh, you don't like capers? I need those capers. I don't mind capers, but if I'm
Starting point is 00:19:12 building, if someone serves me with capers, I'm eating it, not saying anything. If I'm making my own, skipping capers. Skipping capers. I'm doing veggie cream cheese or scallion cream cheese with lox, white fish, and then thin sliced red onion. I want to have fucking whole wheat and then thin sliced red onion. And that fucking whole wheat everything. Oh, daddy.
Starting point is 00:19:30 I fucking love bagel. I'm going to order Zabar's on Gold Belly for myself to deliver to this house. It was such a treat. So we got, it was like, so she got for me, my roommate, and my boyfriend, which is so nice. And so it was like one pack of sesame bagels, one pack of plain, two things of just plain
Starting point is 00:19:49 cream cheese, two things of lox, and then a bag of cinnamon ruggala. Oh, my God. It has been the joy of my life. Did she get you the gift one that came with like the pound of coffee and the dish towel too? Not that the dish towel wasn't there, but the coffee was certain. I know. It didn't come with it.
Starting point is 00:20:04 Fuck. I sent it back. I'm going to have to ball her out. dish towel wasn't there but the coffee was certain i know she cheaped the fuck out on this one um but yeah so every morning i have been having scrambled eggs on the side of uh baked cream cheese lox and immediately of course type to jeff probably usually while i'm eating it and then i i never learn from my mistakes is the thing so i then either call like i use my phone to call someone call my dad or something and like my phone probably usually while I'm eating it. And then I never learn from my mistakes is the thing. So I then either call, like I use my phone to call someone, call my dad or something. And like my phone absolutely smells like salmon and so does my computer.
Starting point is 00:20:32 Isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing twice and expecting a different result? Absolutely. Yeah, I feel you, Riley. I'm on like my fifth Bluetooth keyboard of the quarantine. Not cheap, not cheap.
Starting point is 00:20:44 Not cheap. Just keep charging it to High and Mighty Productions and eventually just run out of my Mack Weldon money. Jeffrey, any deli experience? Ever heard of a little deli contestant called Corky and Lenny's? No. Why have I heard of that? I don't think you have.
Starting point is 00:21:04 This name sounds really familiar. Well, because it's two famous TV and movie character names of people who were developmentally disabled. I did not know that. Corky from Mice Goes On and Lenny from Of Mice and Men. That's where my brain went, and I don't know why, and I apologize. Yeah, no, it's Richard Forkey and Kenny Lenny
Starting point is 00:21:25 but yeah that was our local daily in Sugar and Falls Ohio but Gabrus I mean I think I've told you this before but my mom is from Amityville right oh hell yeah the horror house baby yeah thank you not to bring it up again actually because she was the exact fucking one that's her house
Starting point is 00:21:44 she but yeah so that's we would sometimes get corky after the dentist because it was right by my dentist's office okay brag the locks thick you never want a thick locks you know that they're not doing it right if it's a thick slice you want a thin slice so you can layer and you want a thin like you said thin slice of red onion and then you i do capers. I do light on the cream cheese. But I also might be a fucking idiot. I do light cream cheese if I'm getting some white fish salad in there, too, because I just don't need that much cream. Open-faced or do you sandwich?
Starting point is 00:22:14 I do sandwich, but I'm not opposed to open-faced if I want to make it last. I do open-faced to have double the amount of lox. Oh, yeah. For me, lox is the best Sunday morning hangover cure yes i agree hell yeah because it's not as like i don't feel as bad as if i have like a bacon egg and cheese or like a breakfast burger or something crazy but i still get that fat i still get that salt i still get that fish it feels more fresh and you get and that the cheese and bread help too the bagel and cream cheese part. Yes. If you woke up truly hungover and just fucking toss locks in your mouth like a fucking brown bear. Like a seal.
Starting point is 00:22:52 You would definitely regret that. It would not make you feel as good as you think. Oh, I should have done the sturgeon. I got Dover soul for breakfast. Let's dive in. Like a cartoon cat bones out the mouth this is a good division of uh religion here in that we're talking delis and both of you mentioned bagels and locks as like your go-to deli options even though i'm from long island arguably a highly jewish uh uh island um
Starting point is 00:23:21 one of the more jewish islands up there with manhattan uh is uh there's still tons of italian delis where you wouldn't even get bagels or lox at them and it would just be like the places with the fucking super sot and the gabagool hanging but i like the idea that both delis exist that i can go get a bagel and cream cheese and lox for one but we used like and this is probably uh you know goy culture or you know this is the gentile in me we called those bagel stores like even like even though long island bagel cafe is ostensibly a deli you can get a hero you can get coffee you can get all that stuff here we still call it a bagel store or a bagel like i guess we call that maybe long island or bagel town we call them by their
Starting point is 00:24:02 names but they're not delis in our head for some reason. Yeah, sorry. I'm re-watching the Bagel Boss video, and this is you. Yeah, I kicked that fucking guy's ass. I've been in a bagel store with a dude having a fucking conniption in my life. That's how New York, that's how Long Island that video is. I've never seen a dude get fucking murked like that, which is exciting. But I've seen people have absolute meltdowns in bagel stores yeah you're watching
Starting point is 00:24:28 the video you're like why is this viral this is a thursday yeah i wish somebody would deck that guy do you not have unfilmed fucking bagel bagel shop parking lot fights there are in life plenty i just had the ultimate long hiccup throughout an entire 40 minutes and for the listener i cut it down but it wasn't half an hour yeah yeah sorry dude so i don't know why i insisted on reading my spec scripts while having the hiccup all right well we should take a break but we will be right back oh thank god with uh jonathan gabers himself and some reviews of delicatessens. Thanks, Mark. Hell fucking yeah, bro.
Starting point is 00:25:17 And we're back. We're back. Sorry, I wanted to. Fuck me. I want. You always say it. No, let's take it again let's take it again let's take it i don't know i don't want to i don't want to i don't want to anymore i don't
Starting point is 00:25:29 want anymore two one you're an actor action go and we're back god damn it let's just use that one that one sounded good to me that one is good yeah can we get an alt where you say something that could be like just cancel yourself oh okay and we're back we're talking eugenics in a fun way all right uh gabriel would you like to start us off with the first review maybe one of you guys started off yeah riley uh do you want to go first yes i'll go um so because really the only deli that i have had um like extensive experience with not extensive but like the one that i know really is canter's i found a couple i'm only gonna read one but it was amazing that the amount of reviews for canter's uh it's been around for a while and all the reviews
Starting point is 00:26:25 say something along the lines of the fact that it's like, you want a nostalgic experience, go to Cantor's. But the only thing they talk about being nostalgic is just the attitude of the people who work there
Starting point is 00:26:36 and that they're kind of curmudgeon-y. And they're like, oh, it brings me right back. To where? To when? Here we go. This one's from wally p gabrus you got a last name for wally p uh peanut okay great wally peanut five stars walnut peanut wally p five stars it's like entering a time warp at canor's short line to get in check in with the brus coastis adjust to the oddly dank lighting but then be rewarded with some of the best diner food in
Starting point is 00:27:12 socal you can imagine that diners have been repeat customers here for years and that this comfort food has such special meaning in this city of course i had to ask for the biggest pastrami sandwich available. The Fairfax with all pastrami. The spices. The bark. The fat. Piled high on rye with nothing else. Heaven. Topped off my
Starting point is 00:27:38 growing food baby with the most delicious strawberry cheesecake served outside New York. Moist. Fresh, sweet strawberries. Served perfectly cold. I couldn't have asked for a better meal. Can't wait to return for more pastrami heaven.
Starting point is 00:27:53 Why am I turned on? I'm sorry. I know you didn't ask me to get cancelled this time around, but I'm sorry, Riley. I don't know if it was the content, your performance, the combination of the two thank you so much my face is warm
Starting point is 00:28:08 oh my god we're all so hot just thinking the description of like whenever I think of like deli food I'm like all these flavors all these things done right
Starting point is 00:28:16 but just this description of like meat stacked high on bread and that's it and that's it perfect that is a sandwich hard to argue with you there.
Starting point is 00:28:25 Two friends are out to brunch at Cantor's. Dude, last night was like fucking incredible. I was so drunk. I just need to get some dry meat on rye right now. Oh, I'm looking to get some moist cheesecake. So I need something that'll make my mouth absolutely plastered. Excuse me, ma'am? Yeah, hey, welcome to Cantor's.
Starting point is 00:28:45 What can I get for you? My buddy and I, I mean, we did some crazy shit last night. We were crazy last night. Are you familiar with Clamato? With Clamato? Oh, that's like the fucking clam, sorry, that's the clam juice thing, or the clam... No, you can curse. You can curse. We curse all the time, the two of us. Okay, cool.
Starting point is 00:29:02 I'll say the worst words you'll ever imagine. Okay, you don't have to do it here. Imagine a fucking insane word in your head right now. Imagine an awful worst word. Okay. Okay? My man Boney here will say it. Boney?
Starting point is 00:29:14 All right, I'm going to kind of guess what kind of words she'd be thinking about. There's so many kids around here. It's a Sunday brunch. We really like it. We'd actually prefer if we didn't do this right here. I'm just here to take your order. Oh, yeah. It wasn't that for the here. I'm just here to take your order. Oh, yeah. It wasn't that, for the record.
Starting point is 00:29:27 It was... All right. You can try again. My man here, he wants... If you can take some pastrami, throw it on a paper towel, fold it up, and squeeze it. Okay. Squeeze it so the paper towel gets...
Starting point is 00:29:41 Okay. Ring it out so the paper towel gets drenched and then put that dry ass meat on toasted, blackened marble rye. Boney loves it like that. Then take the sopping wet towel and wring it into a pint glass and that'll be my meal for now. I might add some more later. Yeah, yeah. And for me, let's give you the whole order first. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 00:30:03 I can remember it. I don't even need to write it down. You sure you don't want to write it down whole order first. Yeah, okay. I can remember it. I don't even need to write it down. You sure you don't want to write it down? No, it's so specific. I can remember it. Now, I totally get that you can write it down, and you don't need to write it down. I appreciate that.
Starting point is 00:30:13 I always think that's cool when a server does that. But do you see how much stress and pressure it's putting on Boney and I that you're not writing it down? It's almost selfish, I find, when servers insist on not writing it down because it's almost selfish, I find, when servers insist on not writing it down because it's like, okay, cool, you can memorize it, but clearly I want you to write it down because I don't want to blow up at you
Starting point is 00:30:31 if you fuck this up. You won't need to blow up at me. And he will blow up at you. Even if you get it right, he might blow up at you. I can tell. I am boiling over. Do you know what Clamato is? Yeah, we talked about it. Oh, yeah, right, right. Sorry, sorry.
Starting point is 00:30:45 Sorry, we're getting more and more orders in. I'm being flagged on my multiple tables. Well, you got one more order before you go in there. Here's what I need. Here's what I need, okay? So you got Boney's order? You got the pint glasses, all that? I got the pint glasses, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:30:57 Impossible to forget. I would like a strawberry cheesecake. And I'm from New York York so I am very familiar with moist cakes so I need you to give me something I want something that'll knock my
Starting point is 00:31:09 fucking socks off and I'm wearing three pairs each because I got hyperhidrosis of the feet okay his extremities are bulges
Starting point is 00:31:16 I have to wear three pairs of gloves like Curly from Of Mice and Men these are not baseball gloves this is not a baseball that's great
Starting point is 00:31:22 we're lucky for you we have like specialty like New York authentic cheesecake. So I don't think you have anything to worry about with that. I need it to be as fucking dry as possible, though. Here's the thing. I need you to take the cheesecake and wrap it up in a paper towel and just squeeze. Do you understand?
Starting point is 00:31:39 Boney, just like what you're doing with Boney's Patrons. It's the same process, different food. It's the same exact process, different food. Right. That's the easy way to explain it same process different food i see you keep looking at other tables and the big long line over by the host stand i'm just worried you're gonna get my order wrong if you know it is impossible for me so you know what i'll triple check with you guys double check triple check bony you said bony You want your meat squeezed in paper towel.
Starting point is 00:32:05 Then you want blackened, toasted marble rye. I want it so toasted that it gets smaller in circumference. So you want dry, small... I can tell you're getting upset. I can tell you're getting upset. I'm actually not. I'm pretty grounded for a Sunday. You guys are really heightened.
Starting point is 00:32:20 Listen, I'm just trying to get all these orders in. I'm fine. I have your orders. If you want me to go... Ask us why we moved from New york to la ask us why you moved from new york to la if i ask if i ask you this in answer will you let me go get your food so i can just you know give you a check and be done i don't before we get to this whole new york versus la debate that you want to have with us uh margo you read bony's order back but you didn't read back my order you want m not bony l's order bony m you're both named bony yeah we have different last names it's bony lindberg and then it's uh i'm bony
Starting point is 00:32:50 mindberg yeah mindberg see that's so in that's so crazy to me i don't know why we're getting into this it was serendipity it really was no not wild that bony you're both your parents named you guys. Is that a nickname? No, those are our nicknames. Those are our nicknames. See, both have the same nickname. Yes. You wouldn't judge it based on how his hands and feet look now, but when we were growing up, he just was an absolute skeleton. So that's why people named him Boney.
Starting point is 00:33:18 And then I couldn't, it was like every morning I took too many Viagra. Okay, I got it. I get why that's you. You ever pitch the tent in selvedge denim? Because it is painful. I know your order. I haven't been hard in a long time. I'm going to get a different server to come to your table.
Starting point is 00:33:37 This is wildly inappropriate. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Margo, my bad, my bad. We're ready whenever you are. Did you ask us why we moved from New York to LA? I don't want to. I can't believe I'm doing this, but I feel like you guys won't let me leave. New York.
Starting point is 00:33:48 Wrap it in a paper towel. That is the arid desert. Squeeze it out. What is this? Get all the water and moisture out. You got Los Angeles. What is with the paper towel? What's with the squeezing?
Starting point is 00:33:58 I know your order, Boney L, Boney M. I don't know which point at this point who you are, but I know you want cheesecake squished in a paper towel. What the fuck is wrong with you? Are our nicknames confusing you? Should we just go by our real names? Because we're both named, that's Jeff Lindbergh and I'm Jeff Mindberg. Is that easier?
Starting point is 00:34:15 My God. He's J-E-F-F-E-R-Y and I'm R-E-Y, if that helps. It doesn't help. I don't need it. I'm gonna go get your food. I'm gonna bring it back. One of you or both of you can go Dutch. It's two of you.
Starting point is 00:34:26 It's really easy. You'll pay. And then we'll never see each other again. None of this matters to me. Yeah, it says me. I'll make sure of that. I'll make sure that I won't see either of you two ever again because I have so many customers to deal with today.
Starting point is 00:34:37 I don't need Jeffrey Lindbergh and Jeffrey Minberg. Ooh, Jeffrey fucking Hindenburg is going to come through the door any fucking second. We got to a manager talking to Margo. Is everything okay over there with table six? You, uh, you've been over there for 40 minutes and you've been pounding the table. You've twice,
Starting point is 00:34:51 you've wiped all the drinks off in like a fit of ecstasy or agony. I couldn't tell. It was a little bit of everything. Okay. Yeah. Listen, Tina, I,
Starting point is 00:35:00 do you know who those guys are? I, unfortunately I know I'm a little too well. Let's just say that. Um, I'm really sorry if I was causing a scene Unfortunately, I know them a little too well. Let's just say that. I'm really sorry if I was causing a scene, but these guys were really making it hard on me. Jeff Lindbergh and Jeff Minbergh,
Starting point is 00:35:11 they're both named Boney. That's Charles Lindbergh and Charles Minbergh's sons sitting over there. Who? Charles Lindbergh, the famous person, and then Charles Minbergh. Oh my God. How could I not remember their last names oh my god those are those two like really really famous rich men yes charles lindbergh is the
Starting point is 00:35:34 famous person who stole a baby or was a baby and charles mindberg is the person who rescued yeah was the baby that's what it was the mindberg baby the what it was. The Mindberg baby. The Mindberg baby and the Limberg. Oh, my God. I have to go apologize right now. I'll deal with this. I'm so sorry about this. Sure. Come back to the table.
Starting point is 00:35:51 No, it's like I don't understand why people think it's weird to wear an entire Mets outfit, the entire jersey. Yeah, I tell you, you either look like a Mets baseball player or an undercover cop. I don't know which one. Excuse me, gentlemen. Hey, we wanted to say something to you, Margo. No, no, no, please. Me first.
Starting point is 00:36:08 Me first. I am so sorry for, you know, if I had a short fuse earlier. It's, you know, it's a Sunday. Things are really crazy. And, you know, I'm just we're just trying to make it all work here in the city. And and I had no idea who you guys were. And so I am deeply, deeply sorry if I made this experience anything less than pleasurable. And I really hope you two enjoyed your time here
Starting point is 00:36:33 and we'll come back to Cadres again soon. I mean, I had an amazing time. I thought we connected on a level that people haven't connected on before. I saw it. I was there and i saw bony you and me i'm talking i'm talking about the three of us i'm i'm saying like i saw the sparks flying and i felt it internally they're flying all across every direction here every direction and i'm not even i'm not it's not sexual because as i said earlier i haven't i haven't been able to get hard
Starting point is 00:37:01 in 20 years i remember that i fucking fell asleep next to a microwave at a sleepover party that someone had set for 99 minutes yeah and it fucking roasted my toasted when you're stolen as a five-year-old oftentimes that'll lead to some trauma that you have have to work through and never will be able to so he can't sexual block there well that's what i mean yes sorry you uh. But I do, I eat pussy, I suck dick, and I eat ass. I should say I do all three of those. I just can't get myself hard, but I'm a giver. Heads are turning across the room. Also.
Starting point is 00:37:39 Got to another table. I think that's the Minberg tactic. Did you hear that? No, that's the Minberg tactic. Did you hear that? No, that's definitely him. That's definitely him. That's definitely him. Oh, my God. That's definitely him.
Starting point is 00:37:53 He sucks dick. I knew it. I knew it. Remember? Well, we all knew that he eats pussy and eats ass, but he absolutely sucks dick. I couldn't believe he sucks dick. I can't even believe he didn't mention that he can bottom for people, even though he can't get erect.
Starting point is 00:38:05 He can clearly use his ass as a receptacle for pleasure. Cut back to the other table. And of course, Margo, you could also, my asshole is up for grabs. You know, like anyone can do whatever they want. Two Clamatos get put down on the table by an observer. From the table over there. Margo, are you familiar with this? Oh my god!
Starting point is 00:38:28 Flip the table! Get out! Get out! Margo, you flipped the table for the third time with the Lindbergh and Minbergh baby. I'm sorry, but you're fired from this deli. That's fine! That's fine! You know what? I'm done with deli. There's no good delis in LA
Starting point is 00:38:44 anyway. I'm fucking out of here. Everybody gasps. I take the paper towels. All the kids. I can't believe she cursed. Are you kidding me? You overhear just the tail end of Minberg and Lindbergh's conversation.
Starting point is 00:38:59 I mean, I guess I could technically bend my arm and someone could fuck that, too. Ever had an eargasm there's a deli that's my favorite deli in the world uh it's my favorite restaurant in the world it's called my hero on jerusalem avenue in merrick which is my hometown deli growing up and i talk about it a lot on a lot of different podcasts and it's it's gained a little bit of popularity solely because of me i think oh and i just i mean this is somewhat related I was home once and uh this was like two years ago it was like we had just we did that head gum live where you did stand up at
Starting point is 00:39:32 uh dynasty oh yeah yeah and so I was talking about that show because something had happened backstage or after or something I was with my family in Ohio I was like yeah and like well we had like Gabrus and then we had this other person and this other whoever was on the lineup and then like the waiter comes around he's like did you say Gabrus and I was like yeah he's like like Gabrus and then we had this other person and this other whoever was on the lineup. And then like the waiter comes around. He's like, did you say Gabrus? And I was like, yeah. He's like, John Gabrus. I was like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:49 And then he was like your biggest fan. And he talked my ear off for like five minutes about how he like about my hero and like or whatever it is. And their comedy bang bang appearances. So that was kind of cool. Oh, that's awesome. Along the same lines, I went I ate at the Eiffel tower restaurant in vegas with my mom and one of her friends um and the server came over and was just like uh server came over was like our uh sommelier wants to talk to you for a second oh my god comes over he goes i just want to say i'm a huge fan of you i'm from long island i went to blah blah blah and i'm a huge fan of all your podcasts
Starting point is 00:40:25 i want to buy this bottle of wine for you guys i picked it i was like oh this is so nice all this my mom's there my mom's like you're from long island and the guy's like yeah and then she goes where'd you go to school or whatever and he mentions where he went to high school my mom's like my mom knows one of the teachers that he had and it's like that's so and then the rest of the night is going isn't that crazy that i knew that somalia's teacher and i'm like my wife my wife is with us and she's like joanne it's crazier that your son was recognized you fucking lump like she just couldn't even get around to like she could not wrap her head around like anything positive for me it just had to be like it's crazy funny i knew his teacher fuck you you wouldn't even talk to him if you didn't know that um this is uh three stars of
Starting point is 00:41:18 dick corkey and kenny lenny's uh delicatessen in woodmere, Ohio, I think. This is from Madeline B., three stars, last June. Gabrus, name, B., Madeline B. Boo-berry. Madeline Boo-berry writes, three stars. This is a tough one. I love a good deli experience, but I was a bit underwhelmed. The ambiance, great. Classic deli-looking staff, and that was a plus.
Starting point is 00:41:44 As for the food, I was the best orderer at the table. I got a tuna sandwich on an everything bagel with onions and Munster, and it hit the spot. But my husband and his friend ordered poorly. They got the lox and egg breakfast on a bagel, and overall, their orders just looked sad. The eggs looked weak weak kind of dry and like they'd been out for a while i'd go back but i'd stick to the more deli items including the sandwich and locks on a bagel as those items all looked awesome and then there's two photos one is of her sandwich which looks great and then yeah it's a burnt almost burnt like two darkly toasted half
Starting point is 00:42:26 bagel and then dry uh eggs that look like they've had a couple bites taken out of it but just the idea of being proud of being the best orderer yeah this review is of me we're at the deli mr jacobson uh thank you so much for taking taking Aaron and I out to breakfast I'm just so excited to marry your son and be part of the family and we're excited we're excited to grow our family oh my god
Starting point is 00:42:51 it's very exciting thank you so much I can't wait my son loves you my son loves you and that's enough for me but I'm glad you took this time to meet me before the wedding
Starting point is 00:43:00 this is so exciting of course of course I'm just I can't wait I would hate to meet you for the first time stuffed into a monkey suit why not take you to my favorite bagel store for breakfast oh i
Starting point is 00:43:10 really can't wait and aaron aaron you tell me that you and your dad have the best taste in bagel sandwiches here so i'm excited to learn a thing or two from you guys let's just say that yeah we do let's just say i do a little better than him. Well, let's not get too excited too fast. Okay, well. I've been ordering here for 58 years, so I'm pretty sure
Starting point is 00:43:31 I know what the fuck I'm doing. Easy to order right when you order the same thing every time. You don't branch out. You don't branch out. If it ain't broke,
Starting point is 00:43:41 you don't fix it. There's no point in reinventing the wheel. The wheel rolls perfectly. When was the last time you left the state? When was the last time you left the state? When was the last time you traveled? Well, it was when I fought in Vietnam.
Starting point is 00:43:49 Oh, here we go. Oh, it's with the Vietnam. And also, don't say you fought in Vietnam. You didn't fight in the war. You got in an argument with dad in Phnom Penh. All right? So that's not fighting in Vietnam. That's right.
Starting point is 00:44:02 I beat your father, my husband's ass in Vietnam. We were there on vacation and we got in a fist fight. You know what? That's not the point. When's the last time you left the state, pal? I mean, besides to move to New York City to start your fucking surgery for kids who need cleft palate surgery. Fuck Operation Smile bullshit.
Starting point is 00:44:20 Yeah, it was exactly then. Sorry. It was exactly then. You got me all worked up. I'm supposed to be excited to be meeting debbie debbie wonderful to have you it's about debbie yeah well no i mean it's about it's about all of us and so i just i want to make sure you know it's it's the it's the weekend of the wedding you know i don't want things to be you know too high i'm sorry rich couldn't be i'm sorry my husband rich uh couldn't be here he's getting spray tan down for the big day. Oh, I don't blame him.
Starting point is 00:44:46 I wish I could. I'm looking so pasty lately. Aaron, Aaron never, Aaron says that. Well, you know, it doesn't matter, actually. No, what do I say? No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. I shouldn't have brought it up.
Starting point is 00:44:58 You already have. Good luck trying to get the beans back in the can. Let's talk about it. Aaron. This is what our family does. We talk about it. We're raw. No, I think that's great. Yeah, can. Let's talk about it. Aaron's... This is what our family does. We talk about it. We're raw. No, I think that's great.
Starting point is 00:45:07 Yeah, yeah. We're all family now. Aaron says that Rich looks like a pretentious little valley bitch boy with a spray tan. And anyone who does looks the exact same. I'm sorry. That's what you say about your father, my partner. He looks like a little bitch boy. He looks like a little valley bitch boy.
Starting point is 00:45:24 Holy shit shit that is not how you should talk about it okay you know what I'm sorry I'm sorry Debbie but you were right you shouldn't have said that
Starting point is 00:45:31 but I didn't say that Aaron said that and you you kind of forced my hand to to tell you about it why did you even start to say it well it looks like
Starting point is 00:45:41 we have a lively bunch here what's everyone getting for did I interrupt something I'm sorry what's everybody want oh no um you you guys please go first i'd love to learn from the masters of this bagel store you know why don't you go first you absolute fucking psychopath oh oh trish loves to dish that's her she likes we like to roast each other a little bit that's how she rolls. And I'll be going last. Of course you will, you fucking sick pervert freak.
Starting point is 00:46:09 Let's go to your son. Aaron, do you know what you want? Do you know what you want this time around? Yeah, that was weird. I'll just do the special. I'll do the special. Well, your father's been coming in here for fucking 50 years, and just he's a goddamn psychopath lunatic what do you what did you say
Starting point is 00:46:26 what do you mean like what has he done that's exhibited that behavior oh i don't know wrote blink 182 and fecal matter in the bathroom oh multiple times that is pretty bad okay it was one time and then after that it was someone else trying to frame me okay oh you're getting framed for fecal matter? Okay, let's move on from fucking psycho nuts over here. Aaron, what were you saying you wanted? Let me write that down. I'll do the special, whatever it is.
Starting point is 00:46:53 I don't even have to know what it is. I'm an adventurous eater. I'm going to branch out. Oh, wow. I love that. I really love that about you. Okay, one turkey sandwich. That's it? That's the special?
Starting point is 00:47:04 And what about you, Pops? Rolling pops rolling your eyes over you know what i want trish you fucking dumpy little tart i the use give me the use all right you fucking psychopath she turns around and rings a bell and what about for you what about for you sweetheart what's your name over here um uh this is debbie this is gonna be my future daughter-in-law oh hi debbie nice to meet you good luck good luck with this fucking bag of fucking problems um and what can i get you we got one special and one uh the one usual one special and what would you like i think i'll just go with a classic i'll just do uh bacon, egg, and cheese on an everything bagel. You got it.
Starting point is 00:47:45 Bacon, egg, and cheese. You okay, Aaron? I saw your face drop a little bit. No, it's just the special was a turkey sandwich, so that's not always on the menu. It's special today, okay, sweetheart? All right, so this is, all right, we got the turkey sandwich special. We got a turkey sandwich usual for the dad, and then a bacon, egg, and cheese, no turkey, for Debbie. Got it. Cut to the table. And then a bacon, egg, and cheese, no turkey, for Debbie.
Starting point is 00:48:05 Got it. Cut to the table. Their food is getting put down. Here you go, you gaggle of fucking freaks. The usual is a slice of turkey on a fully roasted pig, suckling and all. Wow, I didn't know they served things like that here. Yep, I've been eating this every weekday since 1971. Every weekday?
Starting point is 00:48:23 What do you mean? What do you mean on weekends? Exactly right. I hold the turkey, just go full suck. I go huge minus the turkey. You do less food on the weekends? Because I'm saving room for a big dinner. I don't know how he fucking goes back to work after eating a whole
Starting point is 00:48:37 fucking suckling pig, but he does. And I'm a cross-country runner for a living. Alright, on three we all take a bus. I'm a professional cross country runner. So for me to stop down and eat a full roasted pig, suckling pig with a slice of turkey on its back is a lot. But again, I guess that's maybe why Trish insists that I'm a fucking psychopath. All right.
Starting point is 00:49:00 On three, we all take bites of each other's food. And then we see who is the best orderer. One, two, three. You guys were right. This place is phenomenal. I have never had such a good bacon, egg, and cheese. Is everything okay? There's no way.
Starting point is 00:49:21 This is the worst turkey sandwich I've ever had. This is the worst usual I've ever had. Looking down now, I realize, Aaron, I have your plate in front of me. I can't believe I didn't see this. I was wondering why this tasted so much like bread. Here, let's flip it and reverse it like Mr. Meaner Elliott says. All right, here we go. All right, let's do it again on three, okay?
Starting point is 00:49:43 One, two, three. It happened again. Yeah, I don't know. We must have switched it twice. We we go. Let's do it again on three. One, two, three. It happened again. We must have switched it twice. Let's just one of us switch meals. We switch with Debbie. Wait, no. I wanted to continue eating mine. Okay, one, two, three.
Starting point is 00:49:59 Debbie, I had a handful of your hair in between two slices of white bread somehow. I apologize. I just got mayonnaise. This was just sauce two slices of white bread somehow. I apologize. I just got mayonnaise. This was just sauce. This must have been a condiment packet. Okay, let's switch this.
Starting point is 00:50:11 Yeah, you just ate a condiment. All right, let's switch it around. Okay. Let's close our eyes. Let's face away. Where did my sandwich go? I would like to continue eating my sandwich. Close your eyes, face away, and spin them. Debbie, this is, hey, we have two hours until your wedding.
Starting point is 00:50:23 Let's get this done. Let's get this done. Let's get this done? I'm starving. I just want to eat my sandwich. I don't know what's happening. Don't spill any of the bacon, egg, and cheese on your white dress, lovely. Make sure you put on a pinball. I can't believe I wore my dress to this deli.
Starting point is 00:50:39 I can't believe my partner's getting a fucking spray tan like a little bitch right now before we're supposed to go to a wedding. It's going to be running down his eyes when he starts crying and shit. It always happens with him. What? They turn. Rich is there. What did you just say? I was talking about a different person who has tears make their spray tan run.
Starting point is 00:51:00 Why doesn't Debbie or Aaron tell you how they feel about your spray tan it's offensive lee brown the dad dives head straight upwards into the vents and you hear him scurry away loudly he's a little too big to be doing but he's climbing through the vents to get happy welcome to the family debbie welcome to the family, Debbie. Welcome to the family. A circle transition goes in right on Debbie's face. She's like, what? And pull out to the wedding photo. And in the wedding photo, Debbie's got visible egg yolk on her wedding dress.
Starting point is 00:51:40 Everyone's got different sandwiches. It's like a weird, like everyone's shrugging. I don't know. Half of them are doing the jump in the air for the photo thing the other ones didn't quite make it half of them are like loading loading up loading up to stuff and then on the pig instead is just one slice of turkey fucking insane all right let's do our last segment Hell yeah Yes Shaky Whoa
Starting point is 00:52:13 Jesus It's okay Gabrus what's been shaking you? Anything on the dome? Well two TV programs have been really getting my goat but I've been screaming about Ted Lasso on enough I love Ted Lasso
Starting point is 00:52:32 it's so good it's so touching it's for non sports heads too I think sports maybe turned a lot of people off but I watched five episodes by myself fell in love with it and then rewatched the five with my wife and are now watching it together. She's obsessed.
Starting point is 00:52:45 Love that show. But the newest show, and episodes eight and nine just came out today, the day we're recording, is Raised by Wolves on HBO Max. What is that even about? It's unadulterated, pure, crystallized Ridley Scott. It's like everything that,
Starting point is 00:53:03 if you're not a fan of Ridley Scott, run. Do not watch the show. If you're remotely a fan of Ridley Scott. It's like everything that if you are a fan if you're not a fan of Ridley Scott run. Do not watch the show. If you're remotely a fan of Ridley Scott it's got fucking everything. It's got androids religion, atheism weird body suits funny hats characters flipping sides, androids
Starting point is 00:53:20 who start to feel like humans. This is a Stefan club. I was just gonna say this is about funny hats, atheism. The hottest club is raised by wolves on this show, Max. It's just a very good,
Starting point is 00:53:32 very interesting show. It's got funny moments. It's got, it's very, it's very cool and it looks good as hell for a fucking TV sci-fi, especially.
Starting point is 00:53:40 I'm loving it. I'm gonna watch episode nine as soon as we're done here. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. What about you? What shook you guys all week? Did you ever see the sketch that Ted Lasso the series is based off
Starting point is 00:53:54 of the NBC sports thing? No, I never even watched it. I don't know why I saw it, but I was on YouTube back in the day, 2014 and I thought it was the funniest fucking thing. I just love dumb shit. An American football coach back in the day, 2014. And I was like, I thought it was the funniest fucking thing. I mean, I just love dumb shit.
Starting point is 00:54:11 So like an American football coach coaching in England. And it was like a promo for the fact that the Premier League was now on NBC Sports or something. It's really weird that when you watch Ted Lasso in the credits, it's like, based on NBC Sports promo. Not a selling point for a lot of people. But they fucking made it. Like you said, there's a lot of heart with it. people. But they fucking made it. Like you said, there's a lot of heart with it. Riley, you would absolutely love it.
Starting point is 00:54:29 Riley, I'm telling you, there's not a lot of shows written like it. It's very funny. I've never even heard of it. Sudeikis is the main character, and the premise is everyone wants to hate him, but he's wildly likable. And it's just something. He's so positive that people who all are set up to hate him and it just,
Starting point is 00:54:48 the premise is like they can't bring themselves to hate him. And it's just so pure and it's got like a new thing that I love that I've seen better versions of on TV is male friendship played like adults. Like I think Ted Lasso is a good example of it and then the show uh little dicky
Starting point is 00:55:05 uh what's that show called dave dave has got a great like this is how men do actually talk to each other these days like sort of the masculinity without any toxicity which is not a thing you see all too often yeah yeah we love to see it um but highly recommend both those programs uh if you're a sci-fi head definitely watch raised by wolves but if you're gonna take one of these recos riley ted lasso cool it's like and it's like whenever i watch a comedy that's that good like that search party or i think you should leave and i say to myself or pen 15 those are like for the best most the thing i like most about them is that i could never and i think i'm very good and very funny, and I could never do that.
Starting point is 00:55:45 And that's what I like about those shows. That's good shit. It's just like outside of my wheelhouse, outside of my skill set, just fucking rules. Oh, yeah. I love that. That's a great one. Riley, what about you?
Starting point is 00:55:54 Aaron and Lauren Paul's Architectural Digest walkthrough video of their Idaho mansion cabin. And the reason- Wait, whose mansion cabin? And the reason... Wait, who's mansion cabin? Aaron Paul and his wife Lauren Paul. Yes, Jesse Pinkman. Okay, yes. God.
Starting point is 00:56:11 So we are watching... We're catching up on Westworld season three. We have two episodes left and we're going to finish it tonight. So fucking good. And Aaron Paul's in season three. And so that's how we started thinking about Aaron Paul, obviously.
Starting point is 00:56:24 And so Elizabeth sent this architectural digest video she's like i've already watched this multiple times and she's like it's 15 minutes we can skip through it i just want to show you like the house i just want it like it's just so beautiful you're gonna love it and we watched she gave the phone to daniel my boyfriend he's like holding it in the middle and like holding the pop socket. We could have easily put it like on the Apple TV or on a computer or something, but we thought we were going to skip through it. And we're just sitting there
Starting point is 00:56:48 looking at this tiny little phone. We play the whole thing because I can't take my eyes away. The house is beautiful. This couple, Aaron and Lauren Paul, if ever you listen to this episode of Review Review, which you won't, but I want to spend a weekend with you guys i i love your whiskey
Starting point is 00:57:10 lounge i i love the pool table i love the home theater i'm sure he's i'm sure i'm sure he's turning it into a mezcal lounge though i know so he made and during it he's like i'm gonna make a little drink for lauren and i that's cool and like the camera kind of like nods and then he makes like an oxaken old-fashioned with his dos hermanos mezcal but then smokes it too and so immediately i'm thinking okay if you're already putting mezcal in a drink that's liquid smoke already and then you're gonna smoke that on top of it seems insane to me but that's fine um so basically it just it led me to now now i'm in the market looking for a smoker to smoke my drinks um and today i played out a whole fantasy of what like a weekend like night it's like the dinner party would be so much fun and they have like
Starting point is 00:57:57 all these oh my god they're like and here's like a bunk bedroom usually our nieces and nephews stay here but sometimes drunk adults too and i just imagine like we have an awesome night and we have dinner and then we go down to their movie theater play some pool play some cards drink some whiskey we all get a little too drunk we all do a talent show for each other on the balcony in the house are we gonna have to bleep any of your as this goes on are we gonna maybe things a little crazy and and we all you And we all fall asleep in the bunk beds. They're meant for the kids. But we're like, who cares?
Starting point is 00:58:28 It's just adults here this weekend. And we wake up. It's a little late. We're a little groggy. But it's still 11. So we're like, let's do brunch. And we make eggs. We make pancakes.
Starting point is 00:58:37 Some waffles, if you're crazy. We have French press coffee. We have a backgammon round robin tournament, obviously. And then we're like, you know what? It's such a beautiful day a round robin what a nightmare and then they these this couple is like remind me to never invite you over for a drink it's like you wake up the next morning we gotta do a what it's like hold on here are the rules to, we're going to play Yahtzee. Of course, it's tournament rules. So that's all I've been thinking about. Obviously.
Starting point is 00:59:13 I want to be in that relationship, but I also just want to double date with them. And I was telling my boyfriend, I'm like, oh man, I want a smoker. And Daniel was just like, I was thinking about getting you a smoker for Christmas, but then I figured that you'll probably just buy one for yourself in the coming week. So there you go. So that's what really struck me. Smokers and,
Starting point is 00:59:35 uh, Aaron and Lauren Paul's home and life. So bitch, still white. Yeah. Do you think when they were like negotiating in the real estate process, they were like, yeah,
Starting point is 00:59:44 we're going to come in at 4.7 bitch oh yeah yeah breaking bad i love that i love that i love that i love that no he actually won't accept anything less than five okay no we can do five one we can do five one what's been shaking me all week long is that i i got a portable projector and it is nectar uh so basically this what's that why is it nectar it's nectar because i don't i didn't have any art for this wall and also like again i have to go outside and around the house to get to the main house which is where our tv is but uh i got this little mini nebula projector right you plug it in so i guess it's not portable but uh it's it's light and you don't need a screen and it projects right onto that wall there and uh i can watch movies in bed and so
Starting point is 01:00:30 that's pretty nice oh fucking yeah um and that's it it's not very interesting short and sweet we got another whole podcast to do so i think we're out gabrus plugs what do you got going on the floor is yours i'm at gabrus on all social media uh check out my podcast high and mighty uh and if you're a fan of review review which i'm assuming you are if you're listening to this check uh start with uh these guys guesting on high and mighty um i also have a patreon podcast called action boys um that costs money and isn't for everyone most likely is not for you but i got some free episodes on the website so if you go to actionboys.biz you can give it a listen and see if it is for you um and you don't have to tell me if it isn't but if it is love to
Starting point is 01:01:09 make five dollars a month off you in perpetuity so rock on brother and then the gino the gino lombardo show on stitcher premium season two coming soon oh yeah uh use promo code gino for one free month he's a pro that was so succinct and fast you can follow riley on instagram at riley and spa on twitter at riley coyote you can follow riley on instagram at riley and spa on twitter at riley coyote you can follow the show on instagram at review review on twitter at review review show and on reddit r slash review review and jeffrey james on instagram at i am jeffrey james and on twitter at don't play no james um this has been a treat a dream and a half thanks for coming on this was so fun thanks for having me thank you to gabrus for coming on. This was so fun. Thanks for having me. Thank you to Gabrus for coming on. And yeah, check
Starting point is 01:01:46 out our episode of High and Mighty. Funny ass show. Always interesting too which is what I like about it. And we're done. We'll see you guys next week. Arrivederci. That was a HitGum Original.

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