Review Revue - Egg Nog 2

Episode Date: December 14, 2021

Geoff and Reilly start blasting in an EPIC 1v1 Macy's Christmas Rap Battle™, get kicked out for alcoholism, and discover what it means to really feel something all while reading reviews about EGG NOG... again!    Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjames Twitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardee <><> Edited by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. And participating restaurants for a limited time. Ho, ho, ho.

It's that time of year again. Time to vote on your favorite Review Review episodes from this year. So go to the Review Review Instagram page. That's at Review Review on Instagram. And click on the link in bio. That'll take you to a Google form where you can vote on eight of your favorite episodes from the year. And the top eight will make it into our best of episodes for the last two episodes of 2021. So if you want your voice to be heard, if you want to have a say, go check it out or don't. Happy holidays from Review Review.

This is a HeadGum Original. Review View. Carry that wagon like Choo Choo. I salute you. Read the Trico ads, not Hulu. Lemon tattoos. Keep dating your wife, you're true blue Keep strong, Jersey Mike's with the juice juice One star review I could ask for a break like Marty Hands in these babies already, ooh Wax and vax like a heartthrob, Nola can't keep just one job, ooh Taking classes and expert on wine

On the pod, keep it good and plenty In the comments, feel and shine Boom boom bye like Valenti Me and that Beatle, shutting down theme song In the tuxedo Into the mist yo Hollyweird babes And I'm sitting in that smoocho Wearing my T-so

Car antlers Boosting my Camino She looking dead but nair Hoodie on her words Or even dare And that one shook me Won't be long Till we get a high Jeffrey

Keep my stack Cause I'm Ryan Gall Home in the hills Of Sugar and Falls Review view Carry that wagon like choo choo I salute you be the trico ads not hulu lemon tattoos keep dating your wife your true blue keep strong juicy

mics with the juice juice one star review Bob Buell sent an email that was amazing he said yet another banger from well Buell that was

Bob that was fucking awesome boom boom by like Valenti Christ so good that was incredible

got a house in the hills of sugar and falls you got those don't exist by the way it's a very mike's juice juice that was that was amazing that was amazing i looked at jeff two seconds in and i just mouthed this bob bob that was incredible what that was buell that was the buelluell. That was the Buell I needed. That was the Buell I needed to get through the day, absolutely. Buell I needed, like Diesel. And then there would be some kind of rhyme with Diesel.

One star review. Yeah. Jeffrey, welcome to New York. It's been waiting for you. Welcome to New York. Taylor's new version. Welcome to New York. What the hell is this?

Welcome to New York. Sounds like a music box song a wind-up toy that spews out nonsense and taylor sounds like a mouse yeah jeffrey you are a new york shitty okay so yeah no I love it. I've been here for two weeks. It's unbelievable. I'm walking everywhere. I'm walking on sunshine. Yeah, let's try and focus on the New York of it all.

Yeah. No, I love it. It's great. It's been fun. I'm seeing all my New York friends. Lifting and climbing at the gym. My favorite place in the world. Seeing a lot of life. I mean, on one city block in New York, in the world. Seen a lot of life.

I mean, on one city block in New York, you see more life. Seeing a lot of life? Huh? Got it. No, you keep going. No, I was saying like on just one city block of New York, you see so much life. You see more than you'd see anywhere else in the world. Sorry, you see more in one block of New York than you see anywhere else in the world

You can see every other place in the world It wouldn't be as much as one city block in Bushwick I really don't think that's true Okay Then I'm learning Then I'm learning Okay Yeah, I love it here

I want to move here and probably won't. Good. Unless I do. Unless you do, which you will. And then if you don't, then you also might not. But you can maybe do it. Unless you choose to do the opposite. Well, not.

Well, not. I think what I've learned in being here so far is that I can truly do everything that I do in LA here, but that doesn't make it easier. Like, it's worse to have a choice. It's better to just be like, I want to live here.

I can't. You got to be in LA. That's not true. And that sucks to learn because that means that I have to make a choice. And either way, it's what if.

Either way, you're wondering if you made the right choice versus... Well, you're there for a couple of months, so you don't have to decide anything. That either way it's what if either way you're wondering if you made the right choice versus well you're there for a couple months so you don't have to decide that's what everybody keeps saying but i can't again i can't help but anxiety project because the future is the same thing yeah no the unknown is uh the worst thing that could possibly be into the unknown how's uh are you holding down the angels for me are you keeping it warm like a seat in a classroom okay let's break that down okay um so holding down the and i already regret it and i already

regret it but let's yeah holding down the angels good so far bad no and but i do think what's worse is like keeping it warm for you like a seat in a classroom i'm not gonna go into a classroom save you a seat in the seat that I'm sitting in. I would like put my bag on a seat next to me and be like, oh, Jeff's going to sit here. But I'm not going to like warm up your chair with my ass and then sit in a cold chair next to me so that you can have the warm seat. No, it's. Does that make sense? I get it.

I'm just saying, I wonder if you keep LA warm for me like a chair. Right. No, that's... I know that's what you're saying, and I'm saying that. No, I'm hearing you. I'm going to save you a seat, but I'm not going to keep it warm for you. All right. All right.

Daniel got his wisdom teeth out yesterday. Today is December 11th. He got all four out yesterday morning, and it's tough to see. It's tough. I don't know, though. It's kind of nice to play nurse with someone you're in love with. I love bringing soup to a lass. Oh, no.

I'm very grateful I can be here to take care of him, and I enjoy it. Imagine if I was just so unhelpful. I'd come in in a sexy plastic nurse outfit with like with like fake doctor and he's like i actually really needed to change my gauze that i'm bleeding in the mouth on i'm doing his belt buckle just bleeding on your hair what if we took your temperature no it has nothing to do with temperature my temperature is normal i'm in a lot of pain in my mouth. I need my prescription painkillers because I have four holes in my mouth. Let's see what that mouth do.

It's drooling blood. And then you get mad at him. You know what? That's not sexy. I'm just trying. We're trying something. I'm being vulnerable. I'm putting myself out there. We're trying something.

Do you want me to not try anything? Okay, yeah. I'll spread my legs. We'll do vanilla sex for the rest of our lives. How about that? Because I'm bleeding from the mouth and I'm in an incredible amount of pain. Then I bet you didn't want this gift card to the pleasure chest. You throw it at him.

Forget it. Go to my room. Your room's my room. Go to my room. I'm going to my room too. Well, we can't both be here. But we're not here to talk about sexy blood. We're not.

Oh my God. Unfortunately. Well, in a way we are. No, I refuse. It's a different viscous liquid that I love sexually. It's equally sexy. Yes. We're back.

We're back. It's been an entire year yearning waiting for this moment. And it's not like we just came up with this idea yesterday afternoon. It's definitely not like we came up with it yesterday. We have been thinking about it every waking moment since this moment passed.

Last year. We're back with eggnog two. We're talking about a creamy egg-based nog. Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly it. That's exactly right.

Jeff, since then, last year to this year, have you had any eggnog? No. I do think the last time I had the nog was during the episode last year, which I should have gotten some for this, but it's so again it was a last minute decision it's so thick well no the thing about new york is like there's a bodega on every street so i could have gotten like that's the beauty is that you can get anything at any moment you don't have to ship shit um yeah i wouldn't have to ship eggnog i could have gone to a grocery i would have had to drive but i um actually no i wouldn't even have to i could walk okay um okay so la sounding pretty good actually

you've lived here for years you know exactly what it's like um i haven't had any of that that sweet that's sweet that viscous stuff um my god um and I don't plan on it. Because you don't like it. It's too thick. Also, I don't drink milk anymore. Yeah, that's a no. I knew you were going to say that. I don't drink milk anymore.

So it's different for me now. But last year's eggnog was the birth of nog spurt mouth feel. Correct. Sort of a living legend. sort of a living legend sort of a living legend kind of a sommelier of nog yeah i wonder what he's up to these days maybe we'll find out maybe or maybe not maybe he needs a break um he works so much drink um do you want to kick us off with our first review? Yeah, let's do it.

So this is a review of a recipe from allrecipes.com. Ooh. Ooh. I don't think we've ever done one of these before. Never. This is amazingly good eggnog from allrecipes.com. This comes from Tracy Licky H. Tracy Licky H. I, Tracy Licky Hickey.

Nice. One star. Also, really quick, I just want to explain that Tracy Licky Hickey got her name because it's like, instead of giving a hickey from like a sucking motion, she kind of erodes the skin off of the neck by just kind of constant licking. A Medusa style tragedy. It's a licky hickey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, go on. Okay, one star.

I am so, so sorry, but I nor my family that I had over for Christmas dinner liked this eggnog. It was too strong in the liquor taste. We couldn't drink at all, and believe me, we are not a family of angels that don't drink.

I went exactly by the recipe and even managed not to scorch the milk. I enjoyed making it, but threw it all out this morning. Is there an actual light rum like there is light beer? I used the clear-colored rum that I would consider light and hoped that it wouldn't mess it up. If I ever

get the nerve to make it again, I'll use less rum. Please let me know what I did wrong. You used too much rum. No, you didn't measure it correctly, but yeah. You didn't measure it. You think you did, but you probably didn't. I mean, there's so much. There's so much there.

We're not a family of angels who don't drink. No, Mom, I'm just saying, like, maybe you guys could cut loose a little bit. Like, you guys seem stressed and, um, you know, I just, like, it could be fun to, like, you know, maybe we all split a bottle of wine or something. Maybe we all get a little crazy. We're all adults now. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, you're

right. We are all adults, and I think we should make the adult decision to let's just temper, let's just temper the energy let's just bring it down a notch we don't have to drink to have a good time i agree i mean the energy is great i'm just saying like i made this eggnog really like from the bottom of my heart and in my kitchen i brought it over and you guys took one sip and you're like no no no no no no rum you said that basically in unison to different shades. And I just, Dad, you're not going to say anything?

Listen to your mother, son. That's all you ever say. Well, because he knows, he knows, he knows, Adam, that, you know, I feel like I'm the one who's steering the ship with this family. It's like, you know, in my big fat, have you seen my big fat Greek wedding? It's like in my big fat Greek wedding. It's like the man is the head. The woman is the neck. Wherever the neck goes, the head follows. Nice. And so that's kind of where I am. And so, yes, we did all say no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm just saying like it's a little bit of a bummer because I put so much time into it. And you guys, I feel like you guys don't ever let loose.

It's all. That's all I'm saying. What are you talking about? We let loose all the time. We stayed up to, what was it, honey? 8.19. 8.19 the other night. That's 19 minutes past our usual bedtime.

And it was a crazy night. It was crazy. Tell them what you got up to, honey, in those 19 minutes. I had to brush my teeth twice because I had a little cup, a crazy night. It was crazy. Tell him what you got up to, honey, in those 19 minutes. I had to brush my teeth twice because I had a little cup, a little chocolate. I had a little chocolate. Oh, my goodness. And it was after I brushed it the first time. Oh, my goodness.

I was a little mad about that. I'm not going to lie. You know, it's like we have our routine. You were angry at that? Who cares? Well, we have our routine. We have our routine. And so I was already getting into bed.

So the reason we stayed up late is because I was already getting into bed. And your father, your father had a piece of that stuff. How big was it, Dad? Just with your fingers. Just show me. It was about, it was like a square. It was a Ghirardelli square. It was a Ghirardelli square.

That's nothing. Well, no, it's not nothing. It's that he actually had to go into the bathroom, turn the light on, which of course woke me up. You were already asleep. It disrupted my circadian rhythm. No, it didn't. You still got a lot of REM cycles. It disrupted my rhythm because then I heard the toothbrush going.

I heard the faucet. I heard the spit. Okay. So that was our wild night. That was our wild night. And now I think we've had enough. Excuse me? You didn't do anything. That's not a wild night. That was our wild night. And now I think we've had enough. Excuse me? You didn't do anything.

That's not a wild night. He brushed his teeth twice. Steven, did you hear the tone that our son just used? Son, you got to respect your mother. I do respect her. That's kind of why I'm bringing this up too. It's like you have to have the self-respect too, I think. It is Christmas Eve, Adam.

It's Christmas Eve. Exactly. It's a holiday. It's a holiday. So let loose. Have one cup of my eggnog it's not even that strong i used light rum light rum oh are you naive little punk you naive little punk little stain on our family you you are a naive skid mark you absolute you absolute graffiti kid. You are a graffiti kid.

You are an ashtray boy. You're an ashtray boy, graffiti child. You are trying to put a stain on us. Honey, when we decided to conceive, did we think we'd end up with human detritus? You know what, honey? A garbage person. We did not think we would end up with human detritus? You know what, honey? A garbage person. What? We did not think we would end up with a little trash boy. That's not what I am. I made you

eggnog for Christmas. You've seen our family crest. Right, yes. You've seen. I was really hoping you wouldn't bring it up. You've seen. Look at it. It's huge over the mantle. Look at this crest. Bring it down. Look at this crest. It is one lily crest It is one lily It is one lily flower

And now you The motto also is never let loose Which is kind of what I wanted to like In Latin Let loose Now let's all say it together The Latin phrase that we know Never let loose

Never Lucius The Latin phrase that we know, never let loose. Never let loose. That's also not correct Latin, but yeah. You guys think it's in Latin, but that's fine. Now, if you think you're going to tear up our lily and drag our family motto through the mud, then I don't think you should come around here anymore, Adam. Yeah. I work in public health. So, you know,

trying to get correct information about COVID and the vaccines to people who might not have access to it. And then administering vaccines, like unhoused people, lower income people, people who might have a distrust in the government and large big pharma. So, you know, the stain on the family crest doesn't really track because i'm doing such good work and dad you own like a string of strip clubs and i just feel like that's kind of exploitative in terms of the female form and the male gaze what's really i think the hardest thing

you see what you're done to your mother now what's the hardest thing is that, yes, you are doing all of this incredible work. And I couldn't be more proud. But then you erase all of it. None of that matters now. With a mug of eggnog? Because of the rum. The rum specifically. Right.

Because of the rum specifically. Well, you know what? I'm going to have one. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have a cup. Or is it? Adam! Adam! Pulls it up to his lips.

Don't you dare let it touch your lips. Don't you dare let it touch your lips. Never let it touch your lips. Never let it touch your lips. Couple gulps finishes it all. Garbage son! Garbage person trash son! Graffiti boy!

Graffiti boy! Skater punk jerk! Rebel child graffiti boy stain. You tomfool. You absolute tomfool. I get a dry broom out of the closet. Get out of here with you. Get. Get. Mom.

I'm taking out the trash. Listen to your mother. Take out the trash. Get shoo. Away. Away with you. He gets pushed out onto the sidewalk. It's snowing. He doesn't have a jacket. Jesus. There's one other person He doesn't have a jacket. Jesus. There's one other person who's like sitting on a stoop across the street.

Hey. You too? Nog. Nog. Nog. Years of alcohol in it? Barely. No. Yeah. I just didn't like it. No. No, they just didn't like how thick it was no i wish it was too viscous uh in their words you want to go to a bar

no way another broom no way all right we should take a quick break thank some sponsors making our Christmas memories. All right, we should take a quick break. Thank some sponsors. Just a tiny one. Just the smallest break probably. A tiny little break. And we'll be back with some more Nog views. But only a tiny break. And we're back.

Riley, do you want to hit us with that revia? What was that? Oh, revia? No, after that. Oh, I burped, but I thought that it wasn't really nice. Wow. Nice. Calling it out makes it worse. Calling it wasn't really nice. Wow. Nice. Calling it out makes it worse.

Calling it out makes it worse. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Okay, here we go.

This is for the 365 Everyday Value, eggnog traditional. It's like the, here we go. It is one star. Mm-hmm. From Levia Menra. Can star from Levia Menra. Can you give Levia Menra? Levia Menra, the goose. Or it's Levi Amenra.

Levi Amenra, the River Thames. Levi Amenra, the River Thames drinking it. And that's their name. Levi Amenra, the River Thames drinking it. Levi and Monroe, The River Thames drinking it. And that's their name. Levi and Monroe, The River Thames drinking it. Not hyphenated. I figured. One star. The title is, ooh, nasty.

Bro, that's some thick, nasty nog. I don't know if it's cloves or nutmeg, but it's too much. If y'all put in half as much, it would be fine. Maybe you guys were trying to be different, but Borden has you guys beat, Klein Peter has you killed,

and Fresh Market cremated the remains. What? Are those different grocery stores? They're different brands. Oh my god. Gordon has you guys beat.

God, Peter has you killed. And Fresh Market cremated the remains. It's like the lamest rap battle I've ever heard or it's like it's like you know in um have you seen Pitch Perfect yeah you know when they do like the sing off or like the riff

off and it's like it's like they get a theme and then they get like a genre and it's like they have to keep going back and forth on song and it's it it's like they get a theme and then they get like a genre and it's like they have to keep going back and forth on song and it's it's just like it's just absurd but it's like if someone it's like ho ho ho everybody welcome to welcome to santa's song bash all. You guys know the rules. We've got our two opposing holiday teams. And tonight, we're going to wrap it out to see who slays Supreme. Barely anyone here. But let's do it.

We want to thank our sponsors, our local Macy's for clearing out the floor and letting us perform all right in the in the in our in our right corner closest to the men's shoe department we've got we've got the ho ho honeys and and and on the other corner, nearest the accessories, we've got the penguin powdery pipers. That's not the team name I gave you. The team name was supposed to be Santa's Naughty Elves. Santa's Naughty Elves? Oh, the way you wrote it looked like penguins, pipers, or something. All right, we got the, oh, honey, Santa's Naughty Elves.

Sorry about that miscommunication. No, I'm sorry I'm coming in with so much animosity. I just don't like the way you're hosting it. And also I'm upset because I tried to get this hosting gig and I didn't get it. It's good. It's good. I love the energy. I love the energy.

This whole time I'm dressed like an elf. I love it, man. This is some good stuff. All right. We're going to do a coin toss. But instead of a coin, we're using a little peppermint. And so one side has three of the red stripes. The other side has four.

So it's just holiday themed. All right. So who wants to call it? I'll call it. All right. What's your name, man? Yeah. My name's Lucas.

All right, Lucas. Lucas, you're going to call it. So Lucas, you're calling it for Santa's Naughty Elves. It's three stripes or four? Three. Oh, and he has it. All right, here we go. All right, calm down with those.

All right, this is serious. This is some serious holiday stuff. Santa's sitting on a throne, just slowly nodding. All right, we got we got we got our first round we got to impress the big man that is Jack Harlow by the way this is crazy that he's here for this on Christmas Eve but yeah you're a prize what is this because I just I was trying to host to get the payday and then it wasn't that so I just had to come by I'm getting paid $25,000 no way for one night and for the two

whoever whatever team wins they get presents and the other gets coal it's christmas okay all right so your first topic is spin the wheel big man santa deadpan spins a wheel eggnog nog. Alright, Santa's naughty elves. You start. Go for it, man. Slurping down that nog. Hard on the job. Turst my knob. Jerk me off. Get me off on Christmas Eve. My name's

Adam. Let me be your Eve. I'm gonna be Adam and Eve with the nog. I'm doing milk on the day that I mixed with eggs. I did sweet cream with a ton of sugar. And I did brown sugar with a ton of spices. Cumin, coriander, savory spices. That fucked up the nog. Nobody liked it. I don't know how to see which egg nog is right for me.

I'm talking dairyman's. I'm talking Whole Foods 365. I'm talking tons of Fresh Market. I'm talking tons of the type I made at home. And I was sad because I didn't make the right nog. I'm losing the thread. I want to win the cash. I want to get the gifts.

I don't want to be bad And get the coal No applause retreat please No applause we're treating this like an SNL callback No applause no laughter Alright That was me being serious What are you talking about

Alright alright That was kind of good I thought You know what we're gonna have no again we're treating this famously as we always do everyone all together treating you like an snl callback all right all right big man what do you think santa nods okay he's not gonna say anything that's kind of good again we're treating it like what like an snl callback but i thought that you were saying that you didn't think I was taking it seriously because I was like doing it for comedy and playing it up. No, no, no, no.

I meant we treat all of these. Oh, you mean no applause or any reaction. We mean no applause, no reaction. We treat all of these rap battles like an SNL callback. That's insane. That's so stupid. It's supposed to be the, whoa, it's supposed to be high energy. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

He slapped me. Oh. Is that high energy enough for you man i'm sorry let's take it over the ho ho honeys thank you so much we can't wait this is this is the opportunity of a lifetime all right all right don't worry about it i love your guys energy i love the energy of franklin macy's i love the energy that you have today this is unbelievable is this like a branded event? Because Jack Harlow is here.

Santa spin the wheel. Oh, and the ho-ho honeys have got presents! Yeah! Presents! We've got it! We've got this! These aren't Christmas themed at all. I'm sorry to keep interjecting.

Presents every time of year, not just on Christmas. I want them every single day of my life. On my birthday. On the 4th of July. Maybe give me one on Valentine's Day. But no. Today, we're talking the big one. That is Jesus' birthday.

It's Christmas. Keep the Christ in Christmas. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, cut the music cut the music cut the music oh honeys this is a non-denominate i mean i know it's christmas but this is this kind of like this is kind of like generic for macy's this can't be good and that's actually yes you this is a sponsored event um we're going to have to shut this down. What? Who won? Santa, it's up to you.

Jack, come on. Nods to your team. Nods to the Santa's not yelling. You can react because it's over now. Everyone's quiet. I'm still looking at you. Man, I don't know how many times I told you we're treating this like an SNL callback. What's the gift?

What's the fucking gift that we get? This is a waste of so much things. Energy, time, effort, branding, brand awareness, space. It's a giant Macy's gift card. So it looks huge, but how much is it for? Why don't you try and buy something? Ring it up, big man. All right. This sweater, it's $ buy something ring it up big man all right um this sweater it's 42 rings it up declined 25 yeah that's what i thought i was worried about

that um and you're getting 25 000 that's fine merry christmas merry christmas everybody next year everybody walks out in good spirits for some reason everyone's thrilled the fuck genuinely what was this all right should we do our next review you get you get uh no the whole thing is you get paid an exposure so i feel like that's what everyone because again there was like 30 people here that's not a lot i know all right this is a one star review of the old new england eggnog so it's blended whiskey and rum with natural eggnog base i never want to hear the phrase eggnog base this is from jazz neck do you want to give them a first and last? Jazz Neck Spyro. Jazz Neck, which is their first name, I guess.

Spyro. One star. The title is not the best I've had. Did not have a great or real eggnog taste. Describing something is not great or real. Not great or real. It wasn't great. And honestly real it wasn't great and honest honestly it wasn't even real so i guess that's how i would answer the question of how the first date went

so um what do you honey i'm so glad you feel like you can talk to your mom about this i know that since your breakup with uh christina things have been really hard um but i'm so happy putting yourself back out there uh and i can't help but i don't mean to pry and this is just you know this isn't just a mother prying this is i'm just genuinely curious what do you mean by it wasn't real no i said it wasn't great or real you said it yes so it wasn't great first dates sometimes aren't great you know my first date with your father sure wasn't great, but it did happen. So I know. But that's an argument for giving anyone a second chance, a second date. So maybe for the next date, it'll be better and it'll be a real person slash date. So were you stood up? Is that why it wasn't great and didn't happen? It wasn't real? I wasn't stood up because A, I don't want you to judge her,

especially if we do end up going on a second date because it wasn't her fault because I wasn't even talking to anybody. Yeah. Jonathan, I'm going to need to better... I want to be there for you. I want to be there for you. I've been reading a lot of parenting books about millennials. Yeah. Um, I, I don't understand. Okay. Let me walk you through

the play by play. I was really excited about this girl. I know you were, I know you were. Um, I felt like there is a connection between us. I thought that we had a lot in common. And so I was like, we should go on a date, right? And so I go to the Barnes & Noble Starbucks Cafe to get a coffee. You love it. You love that place. It's your favorite place. Eggnog Latte.

Yes. Oh, I think it sounds like everything was set up so wonderfully. It was, but she didn't show. So you worsted up. No, she didn't show. And, you know, on the third or fourth sip, I realized I wasn't even texting anybody. I just sort of felt this connection. And so I showed up to a date and there wasn't there was no one. There was not it was nothing.

Isn't that funny? So you imagined you'd been messaging someone and then you remembered that that wasn't so. I, and I wish it was that simple. It's almost more than that. It's like in my head, I had connected with someone on a deep level. Someone you had met? No, that's kind of like the whole thing is that I hadn't met her. I haven't met her.

Someone you connected with on an app? No. I thought that I had a connection with someone. A ghost? It felt that way. It felt that way, certainly. When I was sitting there, people kind of reading novels around me and me sipping on this eggnog latte. And I mean, there was just no one sitting across from me. I don't know what else to say. There was nothing. There was no connection. And that's something I'll have to deal with. But I know I can get through hard things. Jonathan, I never thought this day would come. This is all making a lot more sense to me now. There's something that I never told you, but I feel like now I feel safe to do so. May I share this with you? Do you feel like you can

open that space and that vulnerability to receive what I'm about to say? Yeah. Your father isn't. Isn't what? He doesn't, he isn't, he, he just is not. So I know exactly what you mean. This is, I never thought that, my God, I mean, and on Mother's Day of all days, this is, I've never felt more connected to my son. Um, this is so special. Eggnog this is so special eggnog latte in may just how i like it this is i incredible what about all those times that i thought i played catch with dad that's right no that's correct you did think that and in a way it was

but it wasn't so i think this this woman whoever you're talking about she might be it sounds like she's the one and she also now i'm sorry my entire childhood is shattering actually no because also you said i was a millennial which means i'm at least 25 26 yeah why did you wait this long to tell me that because my dad doesn't. Because no one understands these kinds of things. I don't understand. Well, in the same way that, you know, who else could you tell about your mom about this woman who you never met

and don't know who you connected with? It's the same thing. I just feel so stupid. Why do you feel stupid? This is a family gift. You know how many things dad was there for or that I thought he was? And people also thought we were crazy.

Cut to a parent-te teacher conference in sixth grade and um no i i think that you know because i i get i get what you're saying mr johnson but uh i just finished my work so early and then i like i want to talk i get bored so i talk to my classmates and they're not done with their i mean it's got dad you you do that that at work, he said. Dad, you're... Yeah. Yeah. Cut back. Cut back. Now I feel a fool. Why do you feel a fool? Your dad was

real for you. Hey, hey, you're here. How do you explain that? If your dad wasn't real, which he wasn't, how would you be here? Well, sperm, he was obviously a sperm donor, right? You, I mean, I guess you could call your dad your sperm donor, sure. It seems like a clinical way of describing him. Right, right? I mean, I guess you could call your dad your sperm donor. Sure. It seems like a clinical way of describing him.

Right, honey? Yeah. He's not here. I know. Then how am I? Then how am I? How do I be? How was I? You are.

Okay. If he isn't, how am I? I didn't think we have to go over this so many times. No way. When a mommy and a daddy Love each other No No No

Your father is a spirit So many times So that means Aside from this She's had to give him the talk At least twice Yes He's just a fucking idiot

Alright Should we do our last segment? Yes This All right, should we do our last segment? Yes. This should be all we want. Goodbye. Goodbye. Yeah.

Goodbye to where you've been. The Beatles documentary is unbelievable. I know it's been out for a while, but we haven't recorded since before it came out. Correct. Correct. It's so fucking good. My obsession is back. It never left, but it just was.

It's back. It dwindled. It's back. It dwindled. It dwindled. It was a pilot light and now it's a hearth full of flames. Yeah. Yeah. It's so fucking cool seeing them just work like no talking heads like i love talking

head band documentaries but it's like like the the most i mean everybody's seen it on tiktok now but the moment where paul just out of nowhere comes up with create get back yeah it's so incredible and ringo and george just kind of yawning their way through it yeah but then like it hits for ringo first of like yeah oh shit this is really good yeah it's i love my dad i watched the first part with my dad and we were talking about it's like i love watching them struggle with something like i love watching them like come up again like hitting the wall creatively and watching them problem solve and watching them like figure things out because i think in my mind it's like oh well they just came up with these and then for just to see them

like oh my god george made me laugh and like i forget what song it was it might have been oh darling and he was like he's like it just sounds like the same old shit. Yeah. It just sounds like the same old shit. Oh, fuck. It's so good. And I mean, I'm not gonna, spoiler, I don't know, if you think this is a spoiler, move forward. If not, then don't.

But like how calmly at the end, George is just like, I think it's time for me to leave the band. All right, well, I think I'm gonna go. And they're like, when? He's like, now. No, I'm leaving the band. Now. Yeah. And then he wrote in his diary, like, went to rehearsal. Left the Beatles. Left the band. Alright, well I think I'm gonna go. And they're like, where are you going? No, I'm leaving the band. And then he wrote in his diary, like, went to rehearsal, left the Beatles,

came home. Yeah, how casually they took it, too, is so funny to me. But then, like, but there wasn't even, it's like, they just went into a meltdown. I also think the way Peter Jackson, like, cut together, like, directed that segment was brilliant. I don't know how they remastered it, because I don't know how they remastered it because I don't know

if you've seen the actual raw footage. I saw a clip of it on YouTube or something years ago or a while ago. And then I'm seeing this. It's like it looks fake almost. Like it's unbelievable quality. I don't know how the hell they did that.

It's just a cool thing. It's really long. If you like the Beatles, do it. If you don't, probably stay away because it's not interesting at all so the best parts are when they're like they're like fucking around and then they start to figure out a song that you know and love and have loved your it's incredible yeah if you love the beatles you'll love it if you don't it's eight hours of your life that you will waste um but someone tweeted because like at the intro of it is is very good but it's like a 10 minute history of their van and someone tweeted because like at the intro of it is very good, but it's like a 10 minute history of their band. And someone tweeted like,

no better way to start this eight hour documentary with a 10 minute history of a band that you probably already know, or else you wouldn't be watching this eight hour long documentary. Yeah. I had to do contact tracing because a friend of mine got COVID and they called me and they were like, cool, so we just want to run through a couple of things. I'm like, cool, yeah, I'm all for public health.

And then they were like, cool. So COVID-19 is a respiratory disease that is transmitted. And then I got angry. I was like, I know. Like, who doesn't know? Or ask someone, do you know about COVID-19? I know.

Because they talked about it for 10 minutes straight and then I was on the phone for 30 minutes total oh my god you're like I was like oh my god yeah I yeah I was like I had it I'm triple vaxxed and then they couldn't find my vax info in the system because I didn't get vaccinated in New York so they were like well because we don't have it here we have to act like you're not vaccinated so you have to isolate for 14 days I'm like well what would your advice be if I was vaccinated they were like oh you wouldn't have to i'm okay okay then i'll isolate for 14 days and then i'm not obviously right but that's wild um yeah but yeah go go public health people yes uh what's been shaking you ringo i mean me that um i wow i love ringo

star i have such a crush he is cool like he's cool in the thing where he's just like he walks in and he's like uh he's like oh wait what does he say morning Paul morning George morning camera I just love him he just wants to get along with everybody he just wants to make it all work also the fact that he wasn't really a song

like at least it seems like he didn't care if he had songs in the album or not it's amazing what more what a better drummer could you ask for and then the fact that they almost did all things must pass as a beatles song i know which i'm glad they didn't because that album is like just one of the best albums of all time and it wouldn't have worked as a beatles album i know john's like is this the harris song but then george was like oh i went home i wrote this last night he comes back with uh i'm in mind i'm in mind yeah and, Blue. And the fact that it was about...

Yes, the history, that was crazy. That pit waltz. Or that whatever convention about decorated veterans. Yeah, so cool. It's insane. So fucking cool. Yeah, so thanks everyone for just listening to us geek out about the Beatles for a little bit.

If you want to watch us geek out about the Beatles more, you can find Jeffrey on Instagram at Jeffrey James or on Twitter at uh JeffBoyRD and on you can find our show weirdly enough on Instagram at Review Review and on Twitter at Review Review Show and Reddit r slash Review Review which is crazy yeah and we should say too on our Instagram uh is the Google form to vote for your favorite bits and episodes from the year for our year-end best of episodes that are coming out on December 21st and 28th. Can't wait.

If you're listening to this on December 14th, I think you have until the 17th to vote. Go vote. Basically right now, go vote. Because we might record before the 17th. But do that, and it'll be a lot of fun to do. I can't wait to look back at some of the things from the past year. And that's just always fun. Because we do them, and then'll be a lot of fun to do. I can't wait to look back at some of the things from the past year. And that's just always fun because we do them and then it's like, for me, I don't know.

I black out when we record. Yep, me too. Usually there's the vibe of like, oh, that was a really fun episode. But I don't remember the specifics until we listen back to the vids, I think. Yeah, so it'll be fun. Go vote. Yeah, so it's at ReviewReview on Instagram, the title of the show. And you can follow Riley on Instagram, at RileyAnspa, on Twitter, at RileyCoyote.

Let's thank some VI podcats. Big thank you to underscore Christian Sidehugs for chastity. Got it. A penny saved is a penny spurned. Aaron. Agent Michael Santa says dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars and see yourself running with them. Catalina Irons.

That's really good. What the fuck are you talking about? Aggie. Akoa's fucking backslid on her path to becoming a better Purin. This shit is making her wanna snap. Alex Witt. And now a patron who needs no introduction, so moving on. Austin, it is my birthday month, and for a gift to, well, me,

I slid Jeffrey and RyRy a cold Lewis Hamilton. You know, the big 2-0. Don't know what that means. Bill Cater. So it's Bill Hater, but he's serving sandwiches. Brad Donaldson. Brad Hild. Brian Dodd.

By the way, we finally sent our cameo video to Connor Finn again. It was xenophobic and fucked. Chuck. Cullen. Curvature. Danny. Daniel Don. Daniel Danny Phantom Club.

DTZ. That's down to Zardy. And daddy's looking to get sick nasty tonight. Fancy Octopus. Fine, I give up. You won't say the full alphabet, but at least you can do is say, Hi, my name is Jeffrey Aaron James, and I have... Flirty Fletch. Christ.

For lack of a better beef, corned. Frito Pray Love. Gabriel Castaneda. Gray Handstand Karate Champion. Donito Prey love. Gabriel Castaneda. Gray handstand karate champion. Don't mess with him. Gregberg 5. Rogue Nation. Means nothing.

Hey, Jeff, could you please have anyone from Hey Riddle Riddle on the HeadGum podcast, please? Holly! I literally only subscribe to force Jeff and Riley to say trans rights XOXO. In a very real sense, TR. Jackson Hansel. Jackson Hansel meow plus ratio plus L plus double ratio plus silly kitty cat plus you fell off ratio. Jake Oldman. Jameson Ponzi's first happy memory post-Riley being 11 was that, was Jeff saying my dick would do in my cameo video. Jay.

Jesse Tipton. Jive Gosley. John Daniels. Oh, yeah. I remember him from... Sorry. He was really cool, smart, and funny. John Quinones.

JP again. No, but real talk. Where do I send this theme song thingamabob? ReviewReviewShow at gmail.com. Caleb is pondering whether the luster is just a social construct used to enforce the patriarchy. Casper.

New patron. New patron. Lauren Malang. Lord Hunter the Ord the patriarchy. Casper. New patron. New patron. Lauren Malang. Lord Hunter the Ordained. Maggie. Malik. Mark Priest. Marshall Mathers got a sex change.

Now he's feminine. Michael Begel. Mo, give me your... Sorry. Mo, give me your miles, Riley. Pete. That bit that he did on the Zardy last month was so funny. No, just give me your miles.

No, just give me your miles. That's fine. I think I got them. Yeah, it's okay. Give me your miles. Mona Morakel is shamelessly promoting her art on Etsy. You want the link? Well, sorry, fucker.

You'll have to guess. Mushu Lasagna knows what Jeff did and he's going to tell the world. My hoodie has finally arrived. I can forego my plans to kidnap Jeff and chain him in my basement Nate Porteous is the patron saint of, well, me Meaning what? No, it's Rory and Davy or Zooey Landon Nolan Murphy tried to off himself on Christmas And his guardian angel couldn't think of a single reason for him not to

Jesus Christ Oh, I want a dance with somebody. Oh my god. Arrivederci with somebody. That's so good. Yeah. Orange you glad it isn't Bob Buell. Orange you glad it isn't Hallie. Phoebe! Kwok.

Kwok 3, now taller. Sarah Kildiff. So let me get this straight. I pay $30 a month and you say whatever I want? Now that's interesting. 20, but yeah. TJ Michael. Whittle Wevin Whittle Wevin walk Wemlo

www.jeffreyjames.com was taken.com was taken.com. Yara Bouchard Yasmin Davis Zoops, fell asleep and forgot to thank Damien Kirk. Oh well, he probably doesn't deserve it anyway. So thank you guys all for subscribing at the highest tier.

If you guys want to be a part of our December Zardy, feel free to subscribe. Which we will plan. Which we have to plan. But we'll see you guys again on Friday with a

bonus episode. Happy early holidays, everybody. And Arrivederci! That was a Hiddem Original.