Review Revue - Erewhon

Episode Date: September 27, 2022

This week Geoff and Reilly get blacklisted, become sketch artists, and return an ice cream, all while reading reviews on EREWHON.    Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjames Twitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardee <><> Produced by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fm  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. And participating restaurants for a limited time. This is a HeadGum Original.

A new review review is coming right to you. It'll pop up right in your podcast feed. I see you laughing too. Jeff and Riley know what to do. I think, right? They do? Yeah, yeah, they're the best at improv. He's back into the song.

I think, fuck, I don't know how he goes. All right, here we go, here we go, here we go Don't look back They may find another review Watch out for Jeff's wagon New episodes will be waiting here for you A new review review is coming right to you It'll pop up right in your podcast feed

I see you laughing too. So let's start the show right fucking now. 96 Club, let's go Riley. Sorry, Jess. Let's start right fucking now. Justin Goncalves style. He wants to shout out his YouTube channel, Drunk Ghost Explorers, where we ghost hunt haunted places while drunk i love that i would love to join that well it's public drunkenness and it's breaking and entering right so that's the thing that justin has to understand is that you can't just

have hooch and then be on someone under someone else's roof but if you just call it drunken ghost hunting then like it's fine you think you think any authority figure will be like oh hey whoa whoa whoa hands up hands up drunken disorderly breaking and entering no we're just drunk ghost oh we're oh shit well now that's fun no that i know well i knew you could have a good time but be safe um that was a really that theme song made me feel so many things oh it was a Scooby Doo theme song of course I would not have known that

if I didn't see the email it was just because of the like all of the you know those I thought it was Scooby Dooby Doo where are you I'm drunk and hunting polters. I'm drunk in some stranger's house.

What? Today is the first. Can I just say I'm happy girl today because today it's not. September 22nd. No. It's the 22nd. I thought it was the 21st. Hold on. I need to know. No. If it. Holdnd. I thought it was the 21st. Hold on.

I need to... No. No. Hold on one second. Daniel, cut this out. Or just cut out this dead space. No. Keep in the dead space.

No. No. That's not good podcasting, right? I want everyone to sit in this moment with you as you figure out that the false solstice is September 22nd. We're both wrong. It's tomorrow. What?

Are you kidding? Wait, no, no, no. Sorry. Two hours ago, ABC7 said it's today. You were right. But the equinox is tomorrow. So today is the first day of fall, which means I am here. I'm fully here.

We are getting another heat wave coming this next week. So it's going to be in the nineties, but I don't care. Yeah. Also Mercury's in retrograde. It's not a good, it's been a bad week for me. Oh, same for sure.

Yeah. Well you, you're you more so. Cause you fractured your toe. I did break a bone. I did hit it against a coffee table. I know what for everyone who's like, Oh,

Oh, is this going to be her? What shook me? No, I'm leading with it to surprise you. Now you don't know what it for everyone who's like, oh, oh, is this going to be her what shook me? No, I'm leading with it to surprise you. Now you don't know what it's going to be. I did fracture my left pinky toe. Oh, I thought it was your big toe.

No, even more asinine. It's like, it's so small and it's like, but it affects everything. No, I just mean like, it's such, ew, it's just a pinky. Just pinky toes are disgusting, actually, when you really think about it. Like, you do not need it. Yeah, ew, it's just a pinky. Just pinky toes are disgusting actually when you really think about it. Like you do not need it. Yeah, ew, I'm feeling mine right now. But just the fact that it's like it's a tiny fracture on a pinky toe, but it's affecting everything.

It's just annoying. It's just annoying. I feel that. When I moved from my old place, the guy, I, the guy let me keep the gate key because I had to move my camper shell for my truck. And so a couple of days later, I like went to do it

and I left the key at my new place. So I just scaled the fence and the fence was this old rickety wood thing. Oh my God. And in scaling it, like, you can kind of see it still. It's healed now for the most part,

but I like pushed down on the gate to get up and like the gate went into my it just pressed into the flesh of my thumb and made a dent and it started bleeding a lot and uh it was fine it didn't hurt that much but it was like annoying that's awful yeah um i do love in your text to me this week in like us scheduling things that every other text has been like it's just sorry Mercury isn't retrograde and so it's just kind of fucking everything it's killing me

everything's wrong editing's taking twice as long because my computer keeps crashing I'm not on the same page as anyone not even myself like I wake up in the morning I'm like oh the same page as anyone. Not even myself. Like I wake up in the morning. I'm like, oh, I got to do this, this and this.

It's 2 p.m. I'm like, shit, there's four other things I needed to do. I thought I was on top of shit. Not even myself. And I have to edit the sketch this weekend and I have more work to do on Sunday. So it's fine. It's awesome. Um, but tonight, well, it doesn't matter if you're listening to this. Tonight is HeadGum.

It's the first is the inaugural HeadGum hour at head studios los angeles um and i'm very excited to attend see all the head gum pals see pals in la who come out see comedy pals and i guess i think like i don't know when we listen back to this i think tonight will have been the night of our lives. Why? I just have a feeling. It's an hour-long show on a Thursday. It's more than that. A lot of stuff's probably going to go wrong.

It's going to be unforgettable. Is anybody hanging out after the show, or do you imagine that everybody goes home right after? I imagine that we stay there till 2 a.m. Not even necessarily partying, but just like all like sitting together and just having deep talks and like having a lot of breakthroughs. You want to have a breakthrough with Joel Mandruff? Yes, dude. It's not going to happen. I want Daniel and Amir to have a 30 second long hug. That's, I wish it was longer. The 30 seconds is sort of the direct middle ground of discomfort. That's perfect. But we're not here to talk about hugging.

We're here to talk about fucking groceries. I love fucking groceries. You like fucking groceries no ew what the fuck's wrong that's what you said i thought no i said i love fucking groceries is what is fucking you tell me we're here to talk about air one air one this is an idea a theme that i feel like we've talked lobbed up like for a year and haven't done yes um air one for those of you who don't know or who don't live in los angeles um air one is yeah people are gonna be mad yeah air one is look it up look it up on instagram tiktok whatever it's a fancy Foods, and Whole Foods is already fancy. Whole Foods is already fancy, and Air One is just like on another level of shit you don't need.

Raw chocolate bars. Priced at an insane amount. Coconut keto bites. Like, I've been in there one time when I was, like, 20 because a friend of mine wanted to get a snack. And I just, like, I haven't stepped foot in one since because I just haven't felt the need to. So I don't even know what they offer. Other than, like, I feel like I see a lot of smoothies. They do have a good smoothie bar. And a lot of celebrity smoothies.

Yeah. They have the Hailey Bieber smoothie. I've seen the cloud smoothie went viral on TikTok. than like i feel like i see a lot of smoothies they do have a celebrity smoothies yeah they have the hayley bieber smoothie i've seen the cloud smoothie went viral on tiktok what was that it was like it was like the blue and white like it looked like a cloudy sky um but have you what are your experiences with arowan uh i've been to a couple times, um, but never to get, like, a full haul of groceries. It's always, like, their prepackaged food section is good. And their smoothie bar is... Sorry. You okay?

No, yeah, it's just, like, there's, like, a chocolate peanut butter thang that they do, and it's... A chocolate... Sorry, a what? No, it's, um, just this no it's um just this like thick thing and a thick thing yeah a chocolate peanut butter thing that they do it's like a shake but you know you fuck this really i ended up yeah frenching it yeah and ew sort of spread it open. Ew. Everywhere. It got everywhere. You cut the cup open? Took it. No.

It was mine that day, as it will be forever. Terrible. I, yeah. But limited experiences with it, but I've experienced it enough to know what it is. I almost went there last weekend, because I was like, what if we just get a couple things? What if we just get a couple things? I think they have a good meat section. I've never bought meat there.

I was curious. I think I was under the impression that it was a vegan or vegetarian vegan based grocery store, but that's not the case. I think they have all of those options and more. So you can get veal or

dates. Also, the energy of which you're explaining it to me right now is like you just come fresh off of fucking Erewhon and you're like, no, listen. I'm wearing like a silk robe.

Cigarette hanging out your mouth. I am so dehydrated. I got to get back anyways, but good seeing you. What? We're going back for round four. Into the store. Do you want to start us off? Let me see.

I have a couple that I really enjoy. Hold on. I've got a good one if you want me to start us off? Let me see. I have a couple that I really enjoy. Hold on. I've got a good one if you want me to start. Go for it, because I need to pick between mine. So you kick us off. All right. So this is five stars from Ant M. Mant.

Ant Mant. This is of the one by the Grove. Five stars. All of mine are of the one by the Grove, too. I think that's the original. Erewhon is the epitome of what I consider to be cool Is cool still a cool word to use? It's the same word Hip, trendy, Los Angeles lifestyle

A celebrity haven I once saw James Bond here one day I was tempted to yell, hey 007 But quickly realized I'm supposed to just pretend he's Craig Daniels. I have the same one. Shut up, man. Shut up. Just, it's fine.

Yeah. By the way, it's Daniel Craig, not Craig Daniels. Second of all, just be cool. All right, man. You're visiting me here in Los Angeles. There's going to be celebrities. You don't have to say anything to them. And definitely don't like approach them about their character. I'm so sorry. It's just like, there's going to be celebrities. You don't have to say anything to them and definitely don't like approach them about their character.

I'm so sorry. It's just like, I'm new to the city. I mean, we're in Hollywood. This is crazy. I mean, like my baby brother living in, living in big, big town, Hollywood, Hollywood. I mean, it's just like, thank you for, thank you for keeping me here. You know, I've just been going through a time. And so just to like, see you in your glamorous life is just like you're awesome you know you're awesome do you have to say cool here what's like the cool i guess what's the cool cool here it's cool or you know it's still cool okay because i said that in the store today and and i couldn't tell people were looking at me because i said that or for something else. Look, man, I don't have a glamorous life.

I'm an assistant in the office at a development company. That's not glamorous. That is dredging through. Are you hearing yourself when you talk? Nine hour days. Are you hearing yourself when you talk? You work at a development

office? That sounds boring. Not for me. That sounds boring. What do you think a development office does? I think you are in there. You're telling them what green lights go, red lights stop. I think you're the one who's sending out those deadline articles. I think you're the one who's making...

You're the smoke and mirrors, man. You're the one who's making it all go the smoke and mirrors, man. You're the one who's making it all go. So you think I do special effects, you think I'm a journalist for the trades, and you think I'm fully saying yes or no to movie pitches? Listen, I stayed in our hometown. I'm a fourth grade social studies teacher. We're from the Bay Area. And I love my job, okay? But then I see you, and my whole life I'm like, oh, I'm the big brother You know Jared's gonna be looking up to me. But like Look at how look at look where we are now. I think you're the coolest. I think you're the coolest and

So I'm just here for a weekend to like what's a day in the life of Jared like? Alright, well, I actually have some script coverage to do Mostly what I do is just reading a lot and giving notes. And they don't really even listen to it. Spoiler alert. How are you not just flapping your lips all over the Internet? Well, I don't work at like Marvel. It's like a small indie film company.

So, you know, A24? No, that's like the biggest indie film company. This one, it's owned by a producer who has a first look deal at Universal. So, you know, I could, I mean, it would be avoiding my NDA, but nobody cares about the story until the movie's out or they cast someone interesting in it.

So, you know, I guess that's what keeps me from flapping my gams. That's just to answer your question. Nothing you said landed with me. Can we go to your office? Like, would that be crazy? No, I mean, I have a key, but we're really not supposed to go to it on weekends, and you're already

in the car. Go to the office. So, just don't touch anything. It looks really bland. Everything? Wow. Oh my god. Sorry, I didn't expect to get emotional in here. Are you? You're smiling, I think.

I think it's just like when you imagine Hollywood, you know, it's like you have all these images that float through your head. Walk of Fame. Marilyn Monroe. The Hollywood sign. These are city landmarks and dead celebrities, which all have nothing to do with this office space. But then you come in here. You come into a place like this. This is where

the magic happens. And you are the magician. I don't do a lot. I do office work and I read these things. I just, like, what what can I do to be like you? I guess just stop being so impressed by everything.

Like, I don't get impressed by things easily anymore, I guess. Key card, you hear a door open. Oh, sorry. No one's usually in here on weekends. I'm just cleaning. Yes, I, um, sorry, I left something, left a script in my desk. Oh, my God. Are you part of the custodial staff?

Yeah. This is crazy. It really takes a village to, like, make a movie. Yeah, I don't know. No, it's okay. I guess you're right. That's nice of you to say. This is just any office building has custodial staff.

No, I mean, it's just like they wouldn't be able to do their jobs if you weren't here making everything stick and span. Well, that's true. You never get impressed by the custodians. Thank you for acknowledging that. Yeah, I work really hard. I beg you to. Everyone has a part to play in this business. Everyone has a part to play. He doesn't really work that hard if he's the guy who does it every day because we come

back on Mondays a lot and things are like disorganized and there's crumbs. Alright, well, I'm going to go tend to the other production floors, but it was really nice to meet you. What'd you say your name was? I didn't.

It's Arnold. Ugh. Jared, is this your brother? Yep. Big bro. He's really cool. Maybe they do use cool differently.

What? I said maybe they do. Maybe we do use cool differently. If you think he's cool, what do you think cool means? Because this guy, he sucks. Sorry. Sorry.

No, I actually think he's really nice. I mean, you know what? You've been working here for three years. This is the most you've ever spoken to me. That's true, but I'm always busy and stressed, and he's not helping, I guess. I'm sorry that I called you not cool, but it's a busy week for me, and you came here, you drove down and gave me two hours notice,

and now I'm having to entertain you for the whole weekend, and that's hard. People are always visiting. I'm sorry, man. No, it's fine. I feel like an asshole. No, I feel like the rump. I just wanted to come down here and see what my little brother's big Hollywood life was like.

You're a public school teacher. I mean, that's amazing. Honestly, your job is cooler than mine, all right? And I'm jealous. What? You inspire the youth, and I get trampled on like a doormat here for $32,000 a year our parents still pay half my rent it's

I'm a loser all right so to hear you being like oh your life so glamorous life school it's really not you live above an air one dude like i you say all the stuff i'm inspiring whatever but you live above an air one that's not cool if you actually lived here you'd know that that's really dumb well call me stupid i guess but i don't know maybe the grass is greener, but I think every part in the machine that is this bright, light, big city

makes it work. And you're a pretty important piece of machinery. Now, who are these people who are trampling on you? Because no one's going to step on my little brother like that Please don't defend me There's like eight people lined up to have my job And if I say one thing out of line, I'm gone

Not only gone, but blacklisted This guy is friends with everybody Cut to like the president's office of the company Knock knock Arnold, don't go in there Don't go in there, he goes in Hello! I'm sorry I didn't read the slate on the door So I'm not sure what your name is

Who the hell are you? Um, I'm Jared's big brother, Arnold And he's been telling me that you have been treating him Like kind of a doormat around here And any little brother of mine who's treated that way, that's not worth anyone's time. So I'm here to tell you to be nice. Jared, come in here.

Jared, get in here. Yes, sir. Arnold, you fucking idiot. I'm helping you. You gotta stand up for yourself. Jared, you're fired with no severance. And Arnold, what did you say you do? Where did your accent go?

I'm so sorry. I just, I, maybe I misheard, but I walked in. When I get angry, I go American. I've never heard of that before. What do you do for work, Arnold? I'm a teacher. I stand up for the youth. What city do you work in?

I work in Monterey. All right. I know somebody on the Board of Education in either Monterey County or San Francisco County, and they all know each other. So I'm going to give one call in there, and you're also shitcanned. Thanks so much, guys. Nice going, Arnold. How's this for cool? You want to be cool so much? I just got blacklisted by a big hollywood producer so

yeah not you could say that i'm having a pretty amazing is my life a movie uh all right let's take a quick break we'll thank some sponsors and be back with more heroin reviews how do you have the authority to fire a teacher? I know somebody on the Board of Education. And we're back! I have a review of that very same Erewhon by The Grove from Christina Z.

Christina Zendrix. Christina Zendrix, five stars. We tried the Hailey Bieber smoothie, and I was like, for $18, this better be all cabs good, dot, dot, dot. And it was frowny face. Smoothie was very flavorful and yummy also got the lavender lemonade and it was very good but very sour so beware if you don't like tart drinks lavender flavor was surprisingly strong the way i like it always be asking for extra lavender we'll definitely be back to try more i love that she's's just so descriptive of everything else. But it was...

Didn't they say it was good? No, it better be good, but it was... Listen, we really need your help on this case. What did the culprit look like? You said you saw him? I did, I did. Clear as day, sir. Where was case. What did the culprit look like? You said you saw him? I did. I did. Clear as day, sir. Where was this and what did the person look like?

Describe the surroundings so we know you can match it and then describe the person. Okay, this was in Venice Beach. And so it was pretty crowded. It was at, I mean, it was noon. So I got a very clear look at the suspect. So let me tell you that. Great. What'd they look like?

They kind of looked like, ooh. But then I got a closer look at them, and as soon as I saw the look in their eyes, oh my God, sir. I mean, I don't like to use this kind of language, but it was like, ooh. Okay, so you're describing them

in terms of how you felt when you saw them and the emotions they were feeling. So physical descriptions. Absolutely. Well, physical, sorry. I'm just, they made me a little nervous. You know, it's like, this is one of the biggest serial killer cases

we've seen in the state in the past 25 years. And so, you know, emotions are high. But if I had to describe them physically. Yes. In terms of height, it was like, huh. Okay, so an average height. I'm trying to, sorry, I'm trying to just, my colleagues are there behind a one-way glass.

I'm just trying to translate. Average height. And in terms of, I don't know, their gait, I think sometimes it can be helpful to see. It's like, oh, how do they walk? Like, how do they move around? Not really, but all right. It's kind of like, oh.

Okay, so they walked. Somebody wanted to write down, not going to be helpful, but sensual gait. I just kind of wrote down, I just kind of tried to write verbatim of like, ooh. No, because there's inflections that she has. There's inflections that she has, and they're not coming through. I'm going to play hardball. Listen, sweetheart, if you don't want to get charged with a, what is it? Obstruction of justice.

Yeah, that's right. Yes, obstruction of justice. You're going to go ahead and tell us actual, easy to understand, transcriptable physical descriptors. I'm so sorry. No, I am fully, fully playing into this. Not playing into this. I'm fully, I'm trying to help as best I can.

What clothes were they wearing? Okay, well, their outfit, this is like ingrained into my mind, like fully burned into my mind. Let's hear it. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is that, stripes? I had it kind of written down like Paisley.

That kind of gave me a Paisley vibe, but can you confirm? This is all subjective. Objective descriptors. Objective descriptors. A shirt, a jacket, pants. Oh, whoa. Oh. Is anybody, sketch artist, what does this look like?

Shows it to them. Yes, that's him. How the Shows it to them. Yes! That's him! How the fuck? I'm sorry. That's him! There's no way. Fine.

This is good enough. We'll go out and warrant for their arrest. This is crazy. They go out and see someone who walks normal, wearing a polka dot paisley shirt who has like a sexy air about them. That's him! This is, well thank you, this is I've this is, this is

this is good. I mean listen, I'm looking for work, so if you need another person to join your detective squad You were only helpful because you were at the scene of a crime, you can't just be on staff. Yeah, but sir, to her point, we don't have anyone like this on our team. I mean, our sketch artist

has not drawn a drawing that good. There's a reason for that. No police outfit has someone who purposefully positions themselves at the scene of the crime so that they can then describe esoterically how the person looked to a sketch artist that just somehow understands

and then we get the guy as soon as we walk outside. That's not a rule. And if the sketch artist and this pedestrian have this insane working relationship, I think this could be really useful to our team. They caught lightning in a bottle

it seems like, but I don't think it would happen again. Cut to the second time. Well, thank you for having me back. I'm sorry. It's, again, under such grave circumstances.

I don't know why I was excited about that. What did the suspect fucking look like? Fast. This person is still out there. Okay, okay. I'll do it fast.

Eew eew! Whoa! Eew eew fast sketch artist turns full like shaded in colored it's the David of sketch art this belongs in a museum but let's get this culprit first

walks outside there he is you're hired I hate this cool um I guess I'm gonna need a job title don't ask any follow up questions you just just take the job I'm gonna go drink so much we have to come up with a title for it

I am going to go slam my head against my desk at least four times I like the, I like Officer of Biddley Bop. Sir, I know that name is absolutely ridiculous, but you cannot fire her. No, we need you.

That's fine. No, it doesn't fucking matter. Do we have time for one more? Two more? Yes. I got time. This is from jeffrey j jeffrey james you wrote this i didn't look at the name it's jeffrey with a j and then j it's but yeah it's your alias and you just changed one letter this is of the Venice Erewhon. Two stars. My review is

solely based on the nitro cold brew they sell here. Again, you wrote this. There's nothing nitro about their cold brew. It's dispensed from a tap, sure, but it has no cascading effect and doesn't have the frothy texture that you'd expect.

I'm really not sure what's happening here. It could be that they don't use nitrogen, so the coffee essentially is just being dispensed from a tap, or it could be that they dunk ice into the drink and that kills the nitro. Really puzzled, but if you do want to order this, just set your expectations to a regular cold brew and you won't be displeased. This should be a one-star rating, but I'm adding a star because I clearly messed up ordering a nitro from a grocery store. Excuse me. I'm so sorry. I know this Ben & Jerry's is quite busy, but I had a complication with my order that I would need to be rectified.

Uh, yeah. What was wrong with it? I ordered the super chunky, chunky, chocolatey, chippy, happy-go-lucky chocolate chip ice cream in a cone. And I received ice cream, vanilla-based, with some chocolate chips in it. Did you say in a cone or in a cove? In a cone. Why would I order it in a cove? I don't know. I just, I, wait, so what was wrong with it?

Well, the issue is that it wasn't as advertised. I got chocolate chip ice cream, but what I ordered was what I said before. But, I wanted, no, please. No, we don't have have we don't have a flavor that's named exactly that so i was just wondering like did you add a couple chunks in there or well i'm sorry if i didn't get your long name right what it says here on the menu is super chunky, happy-go-lucky. Oh, super chunky, happy-go-lucky. Yeah, yeah, sorry. You said chunkalicious or something.

Well, sorry. You see how there could be some confusion if you didn't order it exactly as worded? I know it's a long title, but I don't know. Maybe you ended up getting just started. Oh, no. I see. I see.

So if I had just said super chunky chunky happy-go-lucky chocolate chip would that would have been much yeah that would have been much easier to understand oh no i if you want we can swap your order off but i just need you to know it was your fault no i i understand i take the blame it is completely my. And thank you for being so patient with an old girl like me. Is there anything else I can get you? Well, yes. Now that you mention it, my ice cream's gotten a little runny, so I might come back for a top up. Let me see something I haven't tried. Ooh, I would love the bright and bubbly pie in the sky lemon sorbet. Please, in a cone. Do you mean the lemon pie over the moon sorbet?

Oh, I did it again, didn't I? I just want to make sure we get your order right. No, what you said, that's what I want. And this is in a cone or in a cove? Again, it is in a cove. Well, what is the cove? Is the cove an option? Well, Ben and Jerry's really cares about

charitable causes, equity, social equity, and environmental initiatives. So if you order something in a cove, we basically toss a scoop down for some sea lions in Pacific Beach. Well, then let's do that. And you want it in a cone or in a cove? I would like in a cone. I would like the lemon over the moon in the sky. The lemon pie over the moon sorbet in the sky. Lemon pie over the moon sorbet in the sky in a cone cove cone.

Sorry. This is kind of a complicated order. So you want it in a cone, tossed down into the cove, then retrieved, still in the cone, handed to you. No. Don't retrieve it. I thought you said that if I order in the cove, then you get to give the sea lions a scoop separately. It's like Tom's. You buy a pair of shoes and you just know that another pair is being delivered somewhere else.

Exactly. It is like Tom's, right. But no, we could just do the cove, but that's where we just fling the scoop. Or do you want it in a cone in a cove, is put in a cone tossed into a cove i just but not because you complained about the first one and i don't want to have to do it again so like how do we make sure it's exactly what you want and then you also want to top off no i i'm sorry what i meant was you know my my chocolate chip moment is kind of melted now. And so I figured, oh, well, I want a fresh order.

And so I thought I'd get the lemon pie in the sky over the moon in a cone cove. That's not an order. It's in a cone in a cove, not in a cone cove. What's a cone cove? Listen, I'm 97 years old and I'm sorry. I know it can be tiring to deal with seniors like me being a little slow. You said it. All right. Well, I... Just please be patient with this old broad. I would like lemon pie in the sky over the moon in a cone with a cone of that same flavor tossed down into a separate cove to feed some sea lions.

So two different orders. Identical. One of them in a cone and a cove. I want one order for me. I'm not paying twice. One order for me. The line is like blocks long. I think I confused you with the Tom's thing.

It's not you order one and we for free toss the ice cream into the cove. You would have to order two cones, or sorry, two scoops separately of lemon pie in the sky over the moon sorbet. One for you, it seems like you want it in a cone. Yes. And then another one in a cove for sure, but it would have to be in a cone in a cove if you want it in a cone in a cove.

Also, we did just run out of that flavor. Ugh! Okay. Ugh! Give me strawberry cream dream in a beamer, I guess. What's in a beamer? It's the flavor. I guess it's in a BMW.

I don't know. Your flavor names are always so crazy. It's not a flavor. That is we toss it into the car of someone who's driving some kind of German-made sedan. Because again, we at Ben & Jerry's believe in social equity and nobody should be driving that. It's also bad for the environment. So we basically egg the car with the ice cream.

But again, it does not come with your order. That would be your order if you order that in a beamer. You could also do it in a beamer in a cove, which is highly illegal, but we do toss the ice cream in the car, then drive it off into a cove for the sea lines sort of giving back we're out of strawberries and cream and we're out of that flavor we are out of it I don't think this freezer is on it's all melting it is on my dockers uh should we do our last segment yeah

this took me all week long At least we're talking about something. We didn't say anything. Now we are. Aya Cash. What about Cash? Aya Cash. No, I don't know. I really don't have anything.

Just the fact that this week has been a nightmare. Why has it been a nightmare? Just overloaded with stuff and technical things and interpersonal relations. See, I can't communicate. I just can't communicate. That was it. No, I got it. I got it.

And I'm going to get a lot of flack from people saying Mercury Retrograde's not real. I don't care what you guys think, but that's what shakes me. Yeah. Yeah. Don't yuck his yum. If his yum is Mercury Retrograde. Trust me. I would actually appreciate my yum getting yucked. It would take my mind off the Mercury Retrograde. Ew.

Ew. I need my ass ate-ing stat. Ate-ing? Hmm? I need my ass Aiden stat Aiden I need my ass Aiden stat yeah Aiden shit what's been shaking you it is so hot in here

what has been shaking me I know that I was coming in all rear and ready to go being like oh my ankle my toe isn't gonna be my what shook me. And it really should have been because I'm casting me mind back. Oh, so last week,

I know that Adam Scott was my crush. This week, it's not so much a crush and more of just like Daniel and I finished Severance. And I know I'm so late to this but i need someone to talk about it with it's so fucking good um again and so now i guess what took me is like we're ready to start another series that we're going to be very late to i have a feeling it's going to be yellow jackets uh yellow jackets is so good so i'm really excited to oh and Survivor started last night so that's what's shaking us we do

a weekly Survivor night if you ever want to come for that you don't need to catch up on this one episode we do it Wednesday nights and people have been trying to get me into Survivor for like four years I tried I don't like reality TV that's fair that's fair

we're really digging this season so far. If any of y'all watch it, well, let's get Probst back on here. So then maybe he can try and convert you. Or not. He could eat my ass. Okay. Well, should we think so?

Should we think so? He's sort of saddy. Let's think some VIPodcasts. Thank you to underscore Christian Sidehug so he can hug two people simultaneously. A funny Patreon name bit for the next Zardy B about how cool and strong Connor Finnegan is. Agent Michael Skarn.

A call will cut you a fucking deal. Fall to your trembling knees and demand her mercy. And in return, she will hand you a peppercorn. At this point, I can't tell if Daddy chose Tuesdays or if Tuesdays chose Daddy. It's just... Well, me. Austin's a proud

member of the Lego VIP Club, which is like the Mile High Club except I've never had sex. Ben is reminiscing on the finale of Sleeper Hit, the comeback, starring Lisa Kudrow. If you know about this, please become... Buell. I just go by one name now, like Madonna or The Rock.

You can't do that. Camera's roid rage, but it's hemorrhoids. Shahak. Curbature. That's it? I didn't think of a funny... I'd think of a funny name, but that's like Shahak. Damien Kirk's been in a roll with his names, but he drew a blank this week.

Being hilarious is hard, thankless work, man. Drew Carrymore. So it's Drew Barrymore, but she's got a pair of cargo pants on and they're stuffed to the back. That's really good. Fancy Octopus is, according to a co, submissive and breedable. So on the last Zardy, everybody said that I was looking submissive and breedable because I was wearing an oversized knit sweater with the sleeves past my hands.

I didn't know what that meant. I was at a party later that night, and I was like, yeah, somebody told me I look submissive and breedable. And they were like, that means that they want to fuck you in the ass. And I was like, got it. I should have Googled it. Shouldn't have told this to a stranger. Great thanks, Riley

finally watched Suits and has a crush on Gabriel Mact. Bad last name, by the way. Hold on, I've never watched Suits, but let me see who this person is. Um, no. That's a no for me. Wait.

Hold on. Um, you know what? Maybe if I see it in context. But just like right now, not my type. Not really for me. But I appreciate the... It doesn't matter. I eat spaghetti and meatballs It's like spaghetti and meatballs But instead of noodles I eat the sun I hate to be the one to say this

But I actually like Seth Rogen's sausage party Jay Coleman Jay's actually in the US for a bit now And this whole time zone thing might work out this week Jesse Tipton Joe, and for lack of a bit now, and this whole time zone thing might work out this week. Jesse Tipton. Joe, and for lack of a better term, well, Malazov. John Daniels. I feel like it's a trap, but that's just his real name.

JP again. So Riley just started watching Euphoria and is realizing Zendaya is her woman crush any day. Of course, obviously. Jewel Embed. Caleb is too busy to come to the phone right now. Please leave a message after the beep. Beep.

Casper Boat Basper. Lord Hunter the Ordained. Lucas Heinzel. Michael Beggle. Money, money, money. I'm flush with cash from these Patreon simps. We're famous and we're more important than you. My name has been the same for months.

It's time for a chain. Nah. Happy birthday, Jeff. Use code Jeff for 20% off your Baldo purchase. Nate Porteous has a birthday soon and can cry if change. Nah. Happy birthday, Jeff. Use code Jeff for 20% off your Balto purchase. Nate Porteous has a birthday soon and can cry if he wants to. Happy birthday, Nate. New patron. I feel like that's been your name for forever.

A lot of these need to change. I'm sorry to even say it. Nolan Murphy is like a panda in captivity, and I don't think I need to elaborate. Oh, great. Now they're telling us what to make our Patreon names. What's next? Are they going to come late to the Zardy and leave early? Oh, hi, Mark. Well, great. Now they're telling us what to make our Patreon names. What's next? Are they going to come late to the Zardy and leave early? Oh, hi, Mark.

Well, priest. Oh, so it's lame to advertise your business through your Patreon name? Come say that to my face at Smokin' Time on Main Island. Peaky Blinders. That guy could get silly in my Murphy bed, that is. Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater. Puff Riley. Raven Schmaven.

Riley just started listening to Review Review, and she would take... And she would take special guest Daniel Rashid to the bone zone. Review Ritu. So it's like this podcast, but a sequel. What would the sequel be? Just us doing another episode? Smooth Pete and his new jazz band, the Corbin Bowl Players.

It would be reviews of reviews. I see. TJ Michael. Patreon.com forward slash Riley and Jeff. And if you want to follow Jeffrey for some reason on social media, on Instagram he's at Jeffrey James. Oh, because I'm gorgeous.

And on Twitter it's at Jeff Boyardee. And if you want to follow Riley's white ass, at RileyAnts on Instagram, at RileyCoyote on the Twitter. What if I just tweeted, follow my white ass? That's a really funny tweet. They already follow you if they're seeing it. And we'll see you guys again next week.

Arrivederci. That was a hit gum original