Review Revue - Escape Rooms 2 (w/ Geoffrey James!)

Episode Date: February 21, 2023

Former Review Revue host Geoffrey James interrupts Reilly and Alf's recording session to practice before his Harold audition on this special live taped episode of Review Revue!  Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh @alfredinnit Twitter: @reilecoyote  Join the discord here! <><> Produced by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. And participating restaurants for a limited time. This is a HeadGum Original. Every time I hear that noise, I go tap.

Every time I hear that noise, I go tap. Every time I hear that noise, I go tap. Every time I hear that noise, I go you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I love you. I love you. I love you. In the morning I play the pod And that shrill voice Makes my heart skip a beat Every time I hear that noise I go tap

Riley once made that noise And I swear my coffee mug Will get you I think that Ronnie's streak Is of so much unique For my dog Whistle I got you! Woo-hoo! I can't hear you. I can't hear you.

I can't hear you. I can't hear you. I can't hear you. I can't hear you. I can't hear you. I can't hear you. I can't hear you. I can't hear you. I can't hear you. I can't hear that.

I can't hear that. that was fantastic um oh my god hold on one second i i just because i just emailed this song to anya i lost the person who sent the email and that song give me one second daniel leave this in because i'm mortified and we're also live. Oh, I'm so sorry. Actually, Daniel, cut this out when you're doing it. Alves pissed. Alves pissed. That's fine. Well, I have a confession to make, which is that I didn't hear shit. Really? Yeah, so I did just watch you guys jam out

for a couple minutes there. So that was a long one. I don't know if that was how long they normally are, but it felt long to me. But I was fine. I was hanging out out enjoying a biscuit or two oh i'm so glad you know um hi alfred hold on while i'm i can vamp a little bit um yeah vamp vamp um today i had to unlock a padlock uh that had frozen in the chicago winter so i had to use a lighter to try and thaw the name thaw the padlock well you'll never know how that story

ends who was that from Lauren M Lauren uh said that they made the 100th episode theme song and the last one poked a lot of fun at Jeff's this time decided to poke fun at Riley sad to see Jeff leave the pod but I'm looking forward to see what Alf has to bring however if you're to use this song feel like it'd only be appropriate to play on an episode with Jeff as the guest host well oh damn we actually are here right now. If you're listening, we have just experienced the surprise 24-hour live stream hosted by Jeffrey James that Jeff didn't know about. I didn't know about it either. I thought we were just recording a normal episode.

And then all of a sudden, this guy is here. So what were you saying? What's new with you? You broke into a building? Yeah, I was breaking and entering. And the padlock was frozen and so I had to take a cigarette lighter and the wind was whipping through my hair and

it was quite an ordeal. But I got one of them open. Couldn't get through that second one though, could I? So what'd you do? Okay. Sorry, man, if you wouldn't mind. Sorry. Yeah, just push the mic a little bit. It's okay, you don't have to cut it out.

No, sorry, I lost my train of thought a little bit. It's okay. You don't have to cut it out. No, I'm sorry. I lost my train of thought a little bit. I guess I was trying to... Sorry? I heard like a really loud exhale. I don't know. Did you hear that? Like a big sigh from...

You know what? I think it was actually our guest on today's episode. Oh, our guest. Do you want to bring him... Jeffrey James is here in the studio. Oh, my God. Hey, Jeff. How are you, man? Oh, breaking shit. Do you want to bring him? Jeffrey James is here in the studio. Oh, my God. Hey, Jeff. How are you, man?

Oh, breaking shit. 180 of how you, yeah, treated me in terms of, like, making. Are you sucking on a Madeline? No, they're not Madelines. They're just Bickies. But it's interesting. Do you feel any kind of level of discomfort knowing that the roles have been reversed um you know and then when i was initially just a guest on review review you weren't hospitable i'll say that um is that true

i feel like i've made you feel more than well no he jeff was jeff was good it was more just like the how many people have you fucked yeah no he asked me within 30 seconds to tell the story of how I lost my virginity. I meant to say religion, but yeah. And I was saying, same difference, man. Jeff, what's new with you? Break in anywhere today? I really wonder if anyone is going to miss this whole thing. Like if any HeadGum fans are going to miss that this whole thing happened.

And then listen to this episode on Tuesday. So we are currently in our what? Well, this isn't even going to come out for like months. No, this is coming out on Tuesday. Oh, okay. That's cool. We bumped a lot of cool people for this. We did bump.

Yeah. But it is topical, I guess. We are in hour eight of you being on a 24 hour stream that you are hosting right now how are you feeling right now i feel great well i felt better 30 minutes ago because i thought the next hour was going to be me this is what riley and alfred said they said you can be you can be in the room but you can't be on the episode i'm like okay that's then i'm probably gonna just you know go for a walk or go get something to drink or eat and you're like well no you have to be in the room i was like so different than being that can be in the room yeah

uh and so now i feel like shaken you know what i mean jeff i'll say one thing for you that harold auditions looking pretty good i really hate that that's become lore i wanted to quietly try to do something for fun can we do a quick scene just I just want to warm you up for that. Oh, that's good. A quick scene. That's what the entire show is. Let's do it. I'll do something. Yeah.

I want to see a scene. Alf, you're Jeff's dad. Okay. I love it already. And Jeff just skinned his knee on the sidewalk. Why do you love it from that? Because I'm the power position. And go.

Dad? Yes, son? I skinned my knee trying to get ice cream almost aw shucks and seen no that wasn't anything you definitely didn't let it breathe are you open for notes

me yeah would you do you care if I give you a note? No, neither of us should give each other a note. Okay. We didn't even get time. No, that's fine. No, if you don't want to grow, you don't want to grow.

Well, guys, we're not talking. We're not here to talk about Herald Editions. We're not. Sorry. Sorry. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Are you serious?

I got reviews for UCB Franklin. All of my reviews are for UCB Franklin. We're not here to talk about that. We're not here to talk about that. We're not here to talk about a 24-hour stream. None of us were talking about that. We're not here to talk about that shit. Well, we're here to talk about something. What is Parsi's deal?

We're here to talk about Parsi's deal. Let's get Parsi in here, man. We're here to talk about something that is familiar. We're here to talk about something a little spooky sometimes. We're here to talk about Escape Rooms 2. We did Escape Rooms. Sorry. We did Escape Rooms.

We're not here to talk about Escape Rooms 2. We're here to talk about escape rooms again we're here to talk about escape rooms 2 yes what is that because i am the sequel to escape rooms all right um alfred riley you chose this topic it's pretty topical i had no idea i had no idea that we were going to be in this situation it was just a random poll um no way that you guys scheduled this for what is it 11 10 p.m 10 20 p.m chicago time um i'm a night owl what are your experiences with escape rooms no when we were scheduling this you're like a hard out okay when we were scheduling this you're like i have a hard out at this time because anya was like how late can we do this what are you doing after this um yeah what plans could you possibly have a little thing called

betty buys ever fucking heard of it your heart out a little thing called betty boop i don't know it's one of those making someone dress up as betty boop to have sex with them no that's not cool it's like you ever panic before you ever panic before someone's asked you a question? Of course. We're not talking about panic rooms. We're talking about escape rooms. So, Alf, what are your experiences with escape rooms? Are you a fan?

Have you done them before? Don't look at me. Have you done them before? Are you a fan? I've done one. Just the one? Really? I did one escape room.

Are you mad? I did one escape room. I did one. And that's why I am the way I am today. I did one escape room. Why are you mad? I did one escape room. I did one. And that's why I am the way I am today. I did two. Escape rooms two. I did one escape rooms two. Meaning?

I love an escape room. I have done a handful or more of escape rooms. Give it a number. Give it a number. i've done probably upwards of nine or ten be specific i love them um daniel elizabeth and avi avi who's our dp for all the headcount sketches he is the escape room king yeah so he has like we we as a group go to a lot of escape rooms and this is like somewhat less, but he's also the escape room K. He's the escape room K too.

Obviously. So I love him. Jeff, you're in a way, you're in an escape room situation right now. Well, the only way to do it is to stay until your time runs out, really. That's what you think. I really wanted to have sex tonight. I really did want to have all kinds of weird sex tonight. And it's not going to happen now.

Remember how you were like, I want to keep my private life private yeah that i was blown up out of nowhere and then you were now you're like i want to have all kinds of weird sex oh well i'll say that doesn't matter who it's right right listen here's the thong right i i'm here i cannot sleep my parents are in town this weekend that sucks so they landed like two hours ago they're here and I'm in here doing this

instead of hanging out with them makes you wonder tomorrow when I do hang out with them sorry excuse me you're gonna be exhausted no right right right yeah no

you're saying right but it's in a way that it's not active listening no no no no no yeah for sure Jeff have you done an escape room other than you being in here for 24 hours and can't leave

yeah did you like it? No. Really? No, I didn't really like it. No, you didn't. Oh, no. No, I didn't really like it.

I didn't really like it. Come on, man. We're just having fun. You're messing around. I'm messing up, man. I was having fun before Alfred got on the stream. I'm sorry. I'm sorry i'm sorry whoa i'm sorry man i feel like we got off on the wrong foot or something you they slid the zoom in i wish you could have seen it and you were like

it looked like a villain being wheeled into the sorry um I'm sorry. Um. It wasn't even that. It was more sincere. It was, I'm sorry. You're not. You don't fucking know me. You don't know if I'm sorry or not. Should we start? Jeff, give us a review. Jeff, do you want me to start? I didn't

know this was happening. Alf, do you want to start or should I? You should start. Sit on my throne as the king of bel-air you should start what was no no what was that what was that what was jeff doing oh i was i was you should start singing that was not singing first of all you were just talking um what what was that okay here we go i have a review not to brag this is for this is for uh from sorry this is for Escape Artistry. I had the same one. You didn't bring any.

The Rail Car in Chicago, Illinois. Woo! It's five stars from Nicole F. Jeff, can we get a last name for Nicole F? Nicole Fairdy. Nicole Fairdy. Five stars. Had a great time.

Such a great setup And they were so kind and encouraging Even if the kiddos didn't want it Would Def come back again? Sorry, can you say it again? Because I just looked at the chat for some reason And it said, Alf, tell us about your milk Yep

Had a great time Such a great setup And they were so kind and encouraging Parentheses Even if the kiddos didn't want it. Would Def come back again? The kids hate being encouraged. They're like, stop, it's patronizing.

No, I'm just saying, like, you know, maybe look in the corner. Sorry, what is that look on your face? I'd say 50% disdain. For what? I didn't let me finish what the other 50 was! 50% envy. For? Both of you.

50% disdain and 50% envy. And this is triggered by rereading a review I think so why I guess uh there's something visceral about like you know I just you guys seem like you're having a lot of fun there you know in that room you want to be here I think so I think so I think so he's shocked weirdly yeah I think so um do you shocked. Weirdly, yeah. I think so. Do you want me to read the review again? No, I heard it. I heard it.

It reminds me. Then what is the problem? It reminds me of Jeff, to be honest, that review. How so? Because those children sound bratty. How am I bratty? Well, a lot of work went into setting all this shit up for you. And all you've been doing for hours is whine wine my parents were here i wish you know and it's like we made

an escape room for you there was a way for you to get out hours ago but you didn't find it i'll just say i'll say you weren't involved in the planning yeah you didn't heavily heavily you don't even have to leave your house you don't i don't know what you don't even have to leave your house I don't know what you're talking about I was on a Zoom for this months ago This is fun Me and Anya have been talking about this for months I'm going to start a scene Because that's what we're fucking here to do I tried to start a scene

Fine, give me I don't want to start it now No, initiate, Jeff You're never going to get your Harold team with that Alf is mad. And I don't know why. I want you to do as much initiating as you're doing supporting in these scenes. Okay, Jeff?

I want you to show your range. I want you to show your range. Is that enough to ask? All right. Is that enough to ask? Hello. Hi. Here.

Sorry. Checking in late. I had to wrangle a bunch of kids. It's my son's seventh birthday party, the big zero seven. And we're really excited. I got like 20 kids in the group right now. So it's a little crazy, but we are very excited for the railway escape room. I can help you with whatever you need help with today at this escape room.

Why'd you add a zero before the seven? It's just seven. Well, you know how it's like you know it's like oh the big one three like double digits it's you know he's he's the big zero seven so what if you reach a hundred i'm just trying to say that like age isn't just a double digit you know what i mean well sammy you tell him you tell him you tell him what it's like to be zero seven well i'm zero seven7 years old right now. I guess if I was 100, you should call me 007, like James Bond.

Yes, yes, Sammy, that's exactly right. You heard it from the horse's mouth. So should we get going? We've got a bunch of little rascals who are ready to get in a room and then get out of it. Oh, yeah, we can do that. What's your name it's it's alfred nice to meet you alfred i'm laurie it's so nice to meet you that's a really sexy name is it you said double what's your name double seven you could call me double oh seven sammy what did you just say i said that alfred is a really sexy name what um you guys are gonna be in what makes you say

that do you guys have to do this in the hallway sorry no we can get you set up is what i was gonna say you are paying by the hour so i'm just 19 other kids just running around all they're like the little um sammy cool why don't we why don't we just get set up um all right and i am gonna wait in the lobby i have a couple emails emails to do oh mommy you're always on your email well someone's got to provide for this family you're not paying rent you're not paying rent i've never done this is your husband british or is your partner british my husband is uh he is from raleigh so what's yeah it's just kind of pepper pig it's just he loves pepper pig watch a lot of pepper pig he watches a lot of pepper pig okay and so that's

just kind of we actually have no british lineage in our family at all really yes all right none nice you remind me of daddy pig what is that he's peppa pig's daddy is that a real character in that show yes yes okay i trust you okay i'm gonna be in the i'm gonna be in the lobby why don't you get all these little rascals situated and all right right in here guys They're like climbing the walls Not up the wall, just in here In here Alright, so you guys have selected Our bank vault escape room So you have The name of the story is

Just quiet down guys You don't have to touch me, that's actually illegal So the name of the game is the bank vault escape room And basically you guys Just got gold bars. And you have to escape. If we could just have quiet for five minutes. Woo!

Woo! I can't wait to rob this place. Fucking blind. I'm going to escape with you. I'm going to take you with me. Are you talking to me? Yeah, sexy. Knock, knock. Sorry, me again. I just wanted to i know you guys are starting i know you guys are starting uh sorry to interrupt sorry can i talk to

you in the hallway oh um is there yeah yeah absolutely um sammy kids why don't you just entertain yourselves for a minute easy enough um and i'll be right back um yeah what's up uh i just i don't know your your son said he's gonna leave with me and then called me sexy again at first he called my name sexy which was like was he doing like oh take you with me sexy is that what he kind of did yeah oh because he said well he said the name alfred is sexy yeah i did hear that and that bumped you that bothered you seemed like yeah and then now you're being like oh he does that sometimes sometimes he says i'm gonna leave with you sexy which by the way is way more aggressive than just saying a name is sexy the first thing it seemed like oh he just learned what the name is what the word sex that

the word sexy is he says that all the time that's the part that wasn't bumping it was more that it's like alfred you think the name alfred sexy. That was what was weird. Okay, that hurts my feelings. No offense. You don't look like an Alfred. What do I look like? A Dave. Wait, so, well, now my feelings in Eagle are hurt. Are you saying that the name Alfred doesn't sound sexy?

No, that's not what I said. Or that a sexy name shouldn't apply to me? That's not what I said. I said neither. I just said, oh, whoa, weird that he thinks the name Alfred's sexy. Mummy. Yes, Sammy. Sorry, I couldn't help but eavesdrop.

You heard the whole thing? You don't think the name Alfred is sexy? Um, not, I mean, not. What do you think? It doesn't do it for me. You said he doesn't look like an Alfred. What does an Alfred look like, if not that? Mummy, what does an Alfred look like an Alfred? What does an Alfred look like, if not that? Mummy, what does an Alfred

look like? If not him or if not sexy? I'll take either. Sammy, why are you so upset about this? It's your big double, it's your big zero seven day. I finally hit double digits. Yes. You didn't at all.

Why are you so upset? I guess I feel like you're minimizing my sexual awakening. Is this right now what it is? I mean, if the shoe fits, love. She hasn't said anything to you about your sexuality. I was talking to her a little bit concerned because you were kind of flirting with me. The sprites are all just like leaving the room, going over the floor. And yeah, now all these other kids, which by the way, I think they seem to be dust mites, of flirting with me the sprites are all just like leaving the room going over the floor and yeah now

all these other kids which by the way i think they seem to be dust mites uh are kind of going everywhere is this part of the puzzle i don't know honey i don't think it should be this isn't this doesn't feel like the you know runaway train whatever we're doing i'm getting a headache oh honey maybe we should just do you want to just go home or do you want to do the room? No, I want to stay and do the room I want to stay and do the room Okay, well it looks like all your friends did just kind of Leave the building from under the door But could he do the room alone?

Or could you do it with him? Would that be okay? They weren't my real friends anyway No, if they would leave you like that, they are not your real friends Fair weather friends, that's what I call them Fair weather friends You learned's what I call them. Fair weather friends. You learned that one from Peppa. Would you mind doing the room with him?

I can't not do that. I am on the clock. But, oh, God. Yeah, fine, fine. I can do it for... Oh, yay! Thank you so much. Oh, he's going to be so thrilled.

Look at him. Look at him. He's running around. This is the best double digit day I've ever had. Can you also be in there with me, though? I don't understand what you need to be doing in the lobby Alright Alfred, let's go into the room Alright honey, I'll be out here if you need anything

Okay, I'll be in the lobby It's just hard because I already know how to I won't need anything I already know how to do this I already know how to escape this room Well then let me lead Alright Yes, let him lead

Really quick, really quick Make sure he feels like he's really getting the experience of doing it for himself. Whoa, you just rolled your eyes. Sorry. Your seven-year-old's hitting on me. He has dust mites for a friend. Just please give him a good birthday.

I'm trying really hard. It's just, yeah, he's not normal. Please just go into the room and give him a great experience for his birthday. All right. Thank you. Come on, Alfred. This place charges by the hour.

We've got to get going. I'm the one charging you. Right. So I see a window. And out the window, there's a train track. And there's a body on the train tracks and if we switch this lever the train gets diverted and it hits the one body but it doesn't hit the 10 bodies does that make sense what i'm describing the trolley problem yes right the trolley problem ah kind of do you know

what that is or are you just repeating what i said because if you know what that is? Or are you just repeating what I said? Because if you know what that is, you're pretty smart. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know what it is. Do you know what that is or are you just saying yeah, yeah, yeah? Yeah, I know what it is now. So, I think we flip the lever and then we see what happens. Okay, well, just so you know, if you flip the lever now, it will kill 10 people.

I mean, c'est la vie, non? I guess it would be c'est la vie, mort. Oh. Enchanté. Parlez-vous français, Alfred? How do you know that I speak French? Oh. Hey, you.

Yeah. We should... No, no, no, no, no. I'm just saying, this escape room... Bursts through the door. Honey, I'm so sorry to have to interrupt again. I know you're in the throes of the birthday party, but

your dad is in the hospital and I think we need to go. Again? Again. Cut to the hospital. Hi, Daddy. Oh, George, how are you doing, honey? Hey, son. It's his birthday.

It's Sam. It's Sammy's... Milady. Oh, George How are you feeling? Not good Not good at all What? Was it a fall? Something you ate

Something you ate It's what's been going on for a while now Which is neither of the things you two said Is it the affair dude sammy what what did you say i said i said it's my chronic bronchitis oh sorry no he said it is it the affair and you said something i'm stricken with lung disease oh daddy that sucks that sucks yeah daddy i think it's i think it's time you come clean deathbed confession and that you should tell mumsy about the affair dude

i may dude I may no no I've had sex with most of your friends I'm laughing I laugh when I get uncomfortable it's just tough because like they're so hot your voice is so normal now sorry so are you just in

the hospital do you is this because i've been thinking the whole time that you've had like a chronic illness and that's why you keep being in the hospital are you there you can no stop it are you in the hospital all the time because whenever you think you're maybe gonna get found out you come to the hospital and check yourself in yeah that's what's happening. Um, right. Nope. Nope. I, yeah, there was Ellie. There was, um,

Angie and there was Madison. And then there, yeah, there was also Angie. The second Angie, a different Angie. And Mary. There was,

dude, I'm just saying, if you're going to confess, right. So I'll come into the room, start filling your lungs. Oh, no. Yeah.

Yeah. Angie. Yeah. Yeah. A second Angie. I want her to help. You're dying and you want your mistress to help when your wife is right there. Angie comes in.

George. No, the other Angie. Oh, okay. I'll go get her. She's outside. is right there. And she comes in. George! No, the other Angie! Oh, okay, I'll go get her. She's outside. They're all here. How did they know? I evade your assumptions at the hospital. And they also come for moral support because we talk.

We text. Do they know Sammy? Yes! Sammy? Yes. It's not on him to tell you about my extramarital no it's nine i've been calling them i've been calling them step mummy for practice all of them yeah daddy told me to practice because he said i told you i took i didn't i never said that i said one of them's gonna do it mary and i said to do it. Mary, and I said to practice on Ellie. I didn't say to practice on the first Angie. But still three out of five of them, sure.

All of them together. We love you, Sammy. Happy zero seven. That felt really, really mean. All of them together. Why was that mean? We love you, stepson. I feel like you guys are losing sight of something here. All of them together? Why was that mean? We love you, stepson.

I feel like you guys are losing sight of something here. What? It's my birthday. That's what we just said. Happy birthday, happy zero seven. All of them together in unison the entire time. Ladies, enough. What?

Back to your rooms. In the hospital? Yeah. ladies enough back to your rooms yeah what oh me now yes well maybe Angie the second one first got it I'm out I take all the things off. Wait. He dies. Falls over. Happy birthday, Sammy. This is the shittest escape room I ever did. Oh, for the podcast sake, let's take a break. but what about for our sake and we're back um this episode is brought to you by my my auto parts one my wife alf do you want to um do the next review okay holy. What am I on trial here? Is Miles back? I looked at the program. Okay. It's a normal part of your guys' show.

It's just, what's the next review? It's not trial. Huh? I'm just saying, like, you were like, what's the next review? And then he was like, am I on trial here? It's like, it was pretty soft-spoken and, like, normal. This is from Trapped Escape Room, Middleburg Heights. Why? I like Middleburg Heights. Yeah, I know Middleburg Heights. trapped escape room middleburg heights why yeah i know do you know weird yes weird very weird poll right i picked somewhere near where you're from okay this is from christine s Christine S. Christine Sistine.

Christine Sistine Chapel. Hyphenated? No. Also, before I read this review, I'm going to let you guys in on a little secret. Riley, Jeff, every time in that last scene that you pitched your voice high.

Couldn't hear it. Completely cut out. So I was, I was flying blind. So a half of the chunks of that scene yeah that's perfect especially the latter half um i love it so yeah so let's just keep that in mind you know when we pick character voices that's mainly a note for jeff because i know he needs to work on this stuff before tomorrow and i never never do. I never pitch my voice high for voices. No, I've never known you to do that.

I never do that. Well, and I've never done a British accent and just hoped that does all of the work for me of needing to do anything to establish a character or anything. Read your review from Christine Sistine Chapel. This is from Christine Sistine Chapel. One star. We were here from Arizona for our mother's 90th birthday,

and I thought it would be a fun night for our family, some of which had never been to an escape room before. I mean, this was my seventh one. We were met by an employee with some kind of dragon, iguana on her shoulder and she spoke in a weird voice for the iguana which if i'm honest threw me to say the least she began reading the most confusing directions i had ever heard from a book when we we entered the room, we were met with one malfunction after another and the girl kept coming in to try and help

and then would just say, let me give you a clue because I can't fix this. After the third one, she said we should try a different room. That room was worse. At one point, she said we needed to take something apart to fix it and would rather just give us the clues.

At that point, we were over it. We had been in two rooms over an hour and a half and nothing worked. All right. Welcome to the crazy carnival room. I am Leanne and I'm here to help you guys through the room. And don't mind me. I brought my iguana to work because my boyfriend couldn't watch it today because he's doing a boys' night, and he couldn't bring Charlie. So, hello, I'm Charlie.

Oh, sorry. There he goes again. Oh, can I help you with the room today? He's so funny. Why is that funny? Hmm? You said, hi, I'm Charlie.lie i'm gonna help you with the room today yeah it's not a joke that sounded pretty normal iguana charlie what sounded normal no i mean the

voice you were doing was kind of intense but like the content was just like something that a person would like there wasn't much about that oh it's funny because it's just like he's just a little he's just a little guy on my shoulder and and he just likes to have a chat sometimes. I'm going to help you guys through the room. That's what you would say right now. It's definitely surprising. I don't know if it's funny, but it surprises me when you do it. That's something you would say as the guy.

If your iguana wasn't here, you'd probably just say that in a normal voice, and it wouldn't be funny. I don't know. I guess you'll, hey, you don't know what I'd say or wouldn't say. That's so what he would say. You sound like Donald Duck's nephews. I'll be honest, hey, you don't know what I'd say I wouldn't say. That's so what he would say. You sound like Donald Duck's. I'll be honest, man. I love Charlie.

I do wish his voice was deeper, though. Should we? Yeah, if you guys just want to sign these forms really quick, so that it's like, you know, if you're injured, you're not going to sue the company. If Charlie gives you a little bite, we won't be in the room with you. Then you're not going to sue the company. Sorry, if Charlie gives us a bite bite, we won't be in the room with you. Then you're not going to see the company. Sorry, if Charlie gives us a bite?

I'd never do that. Hey, what if he was like, I'd never do that. As you do at that time, he kind of hisses and he has really sharp teeth. He looks like he might bite. No, he wouldn't. He's a little sweetie. He's a little sweetie. But again, let's start the room.

I'm confused. Why would he bite us? He's going to be in the room with us? No, I said he's not. See, look at it. Look, I'm like moving his little arms. Oh, good. I wish I could be in the room.

He clearly doesn't like that you're moving his arms and he's starting to get angry. Stop. He doesn't like that. He does not like that. Oh, come on, guys. I think I know my guy. No. I think I know my little guy.

I'm serious. You're hurting him. Oh, like you know Iguanas? I know when guy. No, I'm serious. You're hurting him. Oh, like you know Iguanas? I know when an animal's in pain. Yeah, his spine is sticking up. I'm feeling great. I'm fit as a fiddle. I've never been better.

That's what he's saying. That's what he's saying. That thing looks sick, dude. He looks sick? Yeah, like ill Dude And not in a skater sense Like in like a

You come in here I'm trying to give you guys a good experience This is my pet And you're acting like you know everything about iguanas I don't want to get into this I just think you have to recognize It's different than bringing like a dog to work Right

Where the dog's like in the corner Yeah And that honestly I cannot believe you said that Because that's honestly One of my biggest gripes Can you Sorry can you put You just move your arm to your face?

Can you push it down? Because you almost made him fall off your back. He's fine. He's not. He's slipping. This is the issue. Everyone's like, oh, if you had a dog, it'd be so easy. Because you could sleep on the thing.

Or you walk him with the thing, take him out. My iguana does the same shit. He's sleeping on my arm. I'm moving around. He's like holding on for dear life. He's holding on for dear life. He's wide awake. Look at him.

He's like this. He's like, I'm doing great. I don't know what you guys are talking about he just fell he's on the ground but he's he's hardy he can he's not he looks really small he's fine picking it back up he's fine he are you crying right now are you for real this is like this just reminds me a lot of something you're really striking a nerve yeah this is like a lot of what happened when i worked at when i worked at the zoo um oh here we go you're one of those why don't you let animals just be free man you have a wild animal strapped he's a rescue From where? From the reptile rescue What are you talking about from where? Where do you get a dog?

Where do you rescue a cat? Those are domesticated animals I don't think iguanas are supposed to be domesticated I'll give you $300 Picking him off, he's on his hind legs I could never fend for myself I'll give you $300 I will give you $300

No way I only have $60 cash But I'll add that on top of it If you just take him back to the shelter This is all fun He's my little fun buddy I've never seen this It looks like he's crying

He looks like puppy dog sag No I pick him up Hold him right in front of my face Buddy He doesn't even look angry anymore. He looks disappointed. Buddy.

No, guys, I don't want you. What's Charlie saying now, jerk? Oh, I hear him. Oh, I hear him. No, you don't hear me. No, I do, I do, I hear him. I hear him, I hear him. No, what is he saying?

He's going, oh, oh, no. No, what is he saying? No, that's not, you don't hear him. You are very bad. You don't hear him. You don't hear him. You don't hear him. You're hurting me. You don't hear him. You're hurting me. No, what he's saying right now is,

sometimes when we roughhouse, it gets a little too much, but it's okay because I still love you, and so I know we're just having a good time, and I want these guys to know that you treat me very well. No, I hear what he's actually saying. He's going, you don't know what love is you're a beast he literally would never say that he just did so i don't know what the fuck you're talking about 360 cash you look like you need the money just take the fucking money give us the

dragon what does that mean you look like you need the money he didn't mean it like that but what did you know well what did you what did you mean by didn't mean it like that. What did you mean by that? He didn't mean it like that, but you do look like you need the money. What the fuck does that mean? You just don't have a lot of nice clothes on. You look... I'm in my uniform for work. Obviously, these aren't nice.

It looks unwashed. You think I wear a carnival barker outfit from 1947 as like every day because I have an iguana? Frankly, dude, yes. Yeah, a little bit, yes. i have an iguana frankly dude yes yeah a little bit yes you took an iguana to work that feels like exactly the kind of person who would wear a carnival barker outfit to work no you know what charlie's saying right he's saying he's like you guys are passing a lot of snap judgments on our land right now and i don't i don't like what i'm hearing oh that's funny you're really angry no i hear him he's going take the money take the fucking money that's not he would never cuss one thing about charlie why wouldn't he say right now he would never draw the line he would never

so that's how i on the floor earlier whoa dude i that he just wriggled out he's limping for sure he's saying oh i'm so sorry he's not saying anything he's limping for sure. He's saying, oh, I'm so sorry. He's not saying anything. He's limping and he's hurt because of you. Yeah. $360 cash. And I'll Venmo you a little bit more. I can't just like, well, how much more? So it is about the cash.

No, it's not about the cash, but how much are you willing to Venmo? Five? Yeah, I would add another ten or five. $500 or like $500? $100. $500 another ten or five. Five dollars or like five hundred dollars? Five hundred dollars. Five hundred dollars? I meant dollars. So like $860 total.

No, no, not adding them. No, no. Just $500. He said $360 and then he said, and I'll throw you some more. Yeah, $140 more for total. Charlie's like, if you don't give her $860 for me, then what is this?

What's the point? That's interesting. That is a dewy duck voice. Because what I hear him say is Charlie's like, if you don't give her $860 for me, then what is this? What's the point? Oh, that's interesting. That is a dewy duck voice. Because what I hear him say is he's going, you know you need any money you can get. You're doing Yoda. No, he goes, money you need. Very badly you do. That's what Charlie's saying.

That's probably what he's saying. Like, I don't know for sure. And I could throw him what I think Charlie sounds like into the ring, but I do think it's Yoda for sure. Or whatever you just did. That't yoda that was charlie charlie that's what i meant to say sorry it's just charlie kind of looks like yoda yoda celebrity look like um well listen i mean it's like obviously this sucks and i'm not happy you're smiling i'm smiling because i'm uncomfortable because i'm being

bought out for my most bestest buddy in the world. It doesn't seem like you even have much affection. When did you get him? I mean like my boyfriend and I, we were like oh we want a pet but a dog is too big a responsibility and he's allergic to cats.

Cut to her at home with her boyfriend. There was no boys night. Well, how much did you get? $860. We're going to be rich. We keep doing this. We're going to be fucking rich. We keep adopting iguanas,

trading them, flipping iguanas. Are you mad that I didn't get more? I'm proud that you even put yourself out there. More than I did. I sat here at home waiting for you to get back. Small tap at the window. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. It's Charlie.

I'm back, guys. I ran away so you can flip me again. Just give me my cut and we're square. Oh. Honey, he has a gun. I got a fucking gun. It's like 17 times the size of him. He's like this big.

The gun is like comically. Usually people have like a pistol That is a flamethrower man That is not even a gun This is from No Escape Also in Chicago, Illinois Woo! Five stars from Leslie N

Anya, can we get a last name for Leslie N? Nunya Leslie Nunya. Leslie Nunya, five stars. At first, I was a little hesitant about this escape room because it didn't look so appealing. Going inside, I was like, what the fuck? This is a doctor's office. I was confused.

I was confused until I was met with a worker and she led me into the escape room lounge. A little iffy about it we checked in and uh they received us and explained what we had to do using a fluke a few clues to find the picture of a person that incriminates him the mystery was solved it was a fun experience and turned out to be first time doing an escape room i'll be sure to try other escape rooms in vr rooms that they showed us the fuck there's a doctor's office they're just in a lobby um james james is there a james yeah could you just confirm your date of birth for me january 1st 2001 january 1st 2001 all right mr james uh if you want to come on back the doctor i'll just take a couple measurements the doctor's gonna be right with you okay

i'm excited sorry i'm excited okay number three it's the first door on the right. I like the sound of that. First door, I like the sound of that. Right. Okay. If you could step up on that scale. Fingers crossed. He's real thin. 111 pounds.

Oh, hell yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's pretty normal for your height. What brings you in today, huh? Glad you asked. Just a quick question. Got here right at 8 a.m. Am I your first patient?

Sorry? I got here right when you opened up. Simple question. Am I your first patient of the day? Yes, you are. Right, and so what brought you in was you wanted to be the first. Like, what's your symptoms? What's your primary concern that you wanted?

Ah, yes. Well, the first symptom I had was I started to feel a little bit tired. Okay, fatigue. Okay. Is it? Yeah. Do you feel it right when you wake up? Does it last all day?

Paint me a picture uh yeah i i pretty much said it all i cared to the first symptom i had was fatigue oh oh knock knock hello um hello uh thank you thank you so much tyler sorry doctor taking care was i taking too long no no it's okay you know what i since this is the first actually you're the first patient of the day i don't know if tyler mentioned that to you um and so i'm familiar i uh yeah so i just i had the time i just finished a quick cup of coffee it's gonna be long day but um sorry remind me of your name again my name is uh yeah james yeah j. James. It is James, right?

You have that on the... Yeah, James. Okay, James. Date of birth is January 1st, 2001. Is that correct? Yeah. Great. Okay, well, Tyler, if you wouldn't mind staying,

just to kind of... If you could help me take some notes, that'd be amazing. I would maybe prefer if there was only one person in the room. Sorry? I would maybe prefer... Okay. I would prefer if there was only one person in the room. Sorry? I would maybe prefer. Okay. I would prefer if there was only one person in the room. Okay.

No, I can go. I just had a couple more history kind of general questions, but I can let them. One question is good for me. Tyler, why don't you ask one more and then I can sort of suss it out after you go. Actually, why don't you take one photo for my photo journal and then you can go. No, we're not going to do that. Nope.

Oh, it's the one. Don't do that. Don't do that. Hey, sorry. I was just trying to look. Tyler,

Tyler, I think you should, I think you should, um, at least just wait in the hall or, uh, go, go see,

uh, Anna at the reception. I can do that. Yes, we're getting your levels down a little bit. So Tyler, I saw him write down that, James, you were feeling a little bit of fatigue. What else are you feeling? What else brought you in? Do you want to take the blood pressure?

Oh. The number over the number? Sure. You know, that actually is Tyler's job, but it's been a minute. I guess I can do it. It's been a minute? What? It's been one minute. No, not literally. Not been a minute. I guess I can do it. It's been a minute? What? It's been one minute.

No, not literally. Not literally a minute. No, don't be scared. Hasn't been a minute. It's just been, it's like, okay, doing it. All right. Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

All right. And, oh, your numbers are perfect. Your numbers are looking fantastic. What are they? Your pulse is nice resting at like nice 70 beats per minute. Okay. And your blood pressure is looking really good. And is it what? 70? Is the blood pressure 70?

Is it 70 over 70? Yeah. It's I mean it's good. If you tell me if it's 140 over 70. It's 70 over 70. Is that what you want to hear? Yes. Okay.

But what is it actually? Is it 140 over 70? No. Doc? It's 100 over 70. Sorry. So at 1.33, do you round down? Tyler, Tyler, can you come in and just kind of write down what's going on in here?

Because I don't have a pen. Yeah, I can sneak in. Okay. Yeah, I'll just. Thank you so much. If you just sneak in, just sneak in. Yeah, I'll just hide behind the bed thing. Thank you so much.

Yes. Do you round down in this office? Honestly. Your little charts. It's. Listen, James, I'm happy to see you and see what's going on with you. But I really am going to need you to respect myself and my colleague in this office when you're here. All right.

You can do that? I can do that. I just am worried we're not going to figure out on this visit what's wrong. Well, that's why I want to know. It's perfect. So Tyler's just going to write down some notes. Okay. You're feeling fatigued.

What else is going on? That's the only one I feel comfortable sharing. I also don't feel comfortable with two people in the room. And I, by the way, I'm not going to come back for a second visit. Okay. Well, if you're feeling good, then that's wonderful. I'm not feeling good. Okay.

I just, let's nail it on the first try. We're trying to. And it's, it's more, I understand that you feel uncomfortable. Tyler, what if you just kind of like turned around? Is it the eye contact with more than one person? It's the quantity. Guess what my favorite letter is. I don't know.

Tyler? I. You want to know why? Because it's one in Roman numerals. I. Because it's the way. I is an A-Y-E. Yes.

Okay. I think I know what's wrong i think i i talk do you mind if i take the lead on this one please please um it's because you don't know us you feel like we're asking you intrusive questions and you're you know we're not returning the favor is that what's going on here buddy uh no it's it's that i like the number one a lot that's why you're upset yeah oh i thought it was oh okay um what can we do to make you more comfortable with your with your liking of the number one a lot well one at a time would be good okay one of you can stand in the hallway um i'd prefer if I only have one diagnosis today Okay

I will not be coming back That's fine You know what? I think I'm just gonna I'm just gonna nip this in the bud right now I think you're just lack of sleep I think you need some fluids And I think you need to sleep a little bit more

I'm sleeping more than enough Exactly the amount I want to be sleeping But you're feeling tired Yes Is it one hour a night? Have you had water? Is it one hour a night? Okay It's the one hour a night Okay, there it is more than enough. Exactly the amount I want to be sleeping. But you're feeling tired. Yes. Is it one hour a night? Have you had water? Is it one hour a night?

Okay. It's the one hour a night. Okay, there it is. You do need to be... For some reason, everything only in ones. Is it one hour a night? Yeah. That's what the issue is.

How many glasses of water a day? One. Why? One cup of water a day. That's nowhere near enough. Nowhere near enough. Should we do our last segment? Let's fucking do it.

This shook me all week long. What's been shaking you? Sand bitters. Not you being trapped in a room? Actually, no. I'm more interested in sand bitters, which is San Pellegrino bitter sodas. Oh, I don't know what that is.

Not oh. Say that's awesome. I don't know what it is, so I can't judge it yet. Just fucking tell us what it is. Don't make such a fucking meal out of it! Christ! What are the fucking sandpipers or whatever the fuck, man? Sandbitters!

What the hell is that? I've never seen him this angry. He's this angry every time I talk to him. I've never seen him this angry. He's this angry every time I talk to him. I've never seen him this angry. I guess, but it's not like out of line with what he would bring to the table. He's still slurping down Madelines. They're not Madelines. They're fucking just regular ass biscuits.

Sand bitters is a San Pellegrino. No, don't be like, don't like make yourself shocked and like small there are these little red sodas in these i didn't do anything there are these little red no jeff you are scaring her she is scared she's confused because you're yelling into her ear and i'm the only physical body here. She's in shock. She's in shock because you're yelling and she thinks that I'm going to hurt her because I'm next to her.

Then move! Where? There's only two hot mics. There's two other chairs there. There are these little eight ounce bottles of red non-alcoholic bitter soda from San Pellegrino. They're really good to have.

What? Alf, what's been shaking you? You look so annoyed that I asked you. I am, because I was going to ask you first, so I had a minute to think. Oh, don't make such a fucking meal out of it. Say it fast. I said mine fast. Okay, well, yeah. Okay, you know what's been shaking me?

Shaking knees? Fucking Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam. No, do a real one. Do a real one. And I'm not going to explain what it is. I'm just going to sit there and keep fucking saying it. Do a real one. He explained what it is.

Do a real one. Took him long enough. Do a real one. Okay. fucking saying what it is took him long enough do a real one okay um let's see the leather in my car my car has leather seats and i love them so and uh it's it's an old car don't want to dox myself give my license plate out on a live stream but it's an old car 20 plus years you do oh my god i felt that was a real moment of that shock was real there was a cord that like caught on my foot and i really thought it was a mouse or a rat um but my car has leather seats um and the leather is cracked in a couple places it's that hot chicago sun it out. And so I bought leather repair stuff on Amazon and I diligently repaired the leather on the leather seats in my car. Good man.

Thank you. And it feels good. Feels like. Nice. Feels like I'm taking I'm taking I'm taking care of something. Oh, you know what I mean? You ever take care of anything, Jeff? Yeah, I know what's shaking? You ever take care of anything, Jeff? Yeah.

I know what's shaking me. Doubtful. You think I've never taken care of anything? New celebrity crush alert! No, not this. Sam Bankman-Fried. What? Sam Bankman-Fried.

Taryn mother-freaking Edgerton. I mean... I slept on him for far too long. He was right in front of my face the whole time jeffrey he really was at least you've been really on a not what no you go you go i've said enough on an elton thing on an elton kick it's because i've watched rocket man twice in a week alpha how many times twice be honest man in a week but Alf. How many times? Twice. Be honest, man.

In a week, but total. Right. Total recently. Just the twice this one week. Because I watched it recently, and then my friend hadn't seen it. This was last night. I'm like, oh, we should watch it. So three times. My friend.

Just the twice. Sad. Sad. You're cracking up next to a mirror on a couch. You've never seen this? Taryn Edgerton, baby. That jawline could cut me in half. It's insane.

Anyway, Jeff, thanks for coming on because you literally had to because you are trapped in here. You walked in here. You said we're doing an episode. You said you can't leave. You can't participate. This was a blast. This was a blast? You were angry the whole time.

No, I was so happy to be here. Alf, do we want to? Do we want to? You are so mad at him every time you do something. I never did anything to you. It's like you just have this aura, you know? I've been told that. Should we close out?

Oh, actually, sorry. God, you can find anything to plug? Not really. When does this come out? This comes out on Tuesday? No. Right. let's should we close out oh actually sorry god you can find anything to plug not really when does this come out this comes out on tuesday no right this is happening now so there's nothing to plug like i got something to plug at jeffrey james on instagram jeff has a harold team audition tomorrow let's go out and support him just go outside the theater and just go cast jeff you can find alfred on instagram at alfred in it and you can find Alfred on Instagram at AlfredInIt and you can find the show on Instagram at ReviewReview and

Reddit r slash ReviewReview and Discord we have ReviewReview Discord don't sleep on the Discord come on everybody and you can find Riley on Instagram.com only the web browser not the phone app at Riley

and on Twitter.com for as long as it lasts at riley coyote and jeff and you know this jeff you know what we say every you know what we say every week how we sign off every week we sign i'm gonna say it all together all three of us mm-hmm hi Bye Bye Bye Bye We'll see you next time Bye That was a Hiddem Original