Review Revue - Face Painting Kits

Episode Date: July 2, 2024

Reilly and Alf find money behind eachothers ears and perform a piano concerto on this weeks episode of Review Revue. >>>>><<<<<Follow at:IG: @reillyanspaugh @alfredinnitTwitter: @reilecoyote Join the discord here!Produced by Daniel Ramos @SchubirdsAdvertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. And participating restaurants for a limited time.

This is a HeadGum Original. Riley and Alf. Riley and Alf. That's the tune of Something in the Way. Oh, Christ. We are so back. We are back. We are so back.

And would you believe, I know you picked the best one. Ryan. The title of the email is theme somb. S-O-N-B. Ryan goes, hey, you two. I've been working on this one for a few days. It's a parody of Something in the Way by Nirvana,

but I'm pretty sure it'll get by the copyright censors. You may be asking, in reference to the subject of this email, didn't you care enough to check that the word song was spelled correctly? The answer is it was a typo that I then fixed. Oh, wait. The answer is it was a typo that i then fixed oh wait the answer it was the answer is it was a typo that i fixed then decided to change back because i thought maybe you would say something like boy this guy sure didn't care enough to check that the word song was spelled correctly and i thought it might be a little giggle worthy bye um i don't know if it's gonna get past copyright like that was kind of he put more effort into the body of

that email than he did into the song i don't know here's the going to get past copyright. Like that was kind of like. He put more effort into the body of that email than he did into the song. I don't know. Here's the thing. I think the copy. I think copyright is going to be like that was exactly note for note. Something in the way by Nirvana. Look. Can't play it.

I'll say it. Fuck the copyright. I think that song is worth it. Alfred stop it. No fuck the copyright. Alfred you can't say that. All those guys who work in the copyright department are assholes anyway. Don't do that, my darling.

I just want everyone to know that when I say that, I am referencing Laura Linney from Love Actually when her brother in the hospital tries to hit her. Oh, my God. You said that before, and I didn't even know that that's what you were referencing. Don't do that, my darling. Do you know that moment I'm talking about? Yeah, of course I know that moment.

Don't do that, my darling. That's like a weirdly... I wouldn't have thought that Laura Linney was like a person whom there could be a good impression of, but I think you did a good job there. Don't do that, my darling. Don't worry, darling. Don't worry, darling.

She would have been fire in that. As who? Chris Pratt. Alf, what's new with you, bitch? It's been three months since I saw your face. Yeah. Yeah, it's been a minute. I don't even remember when the last one we did was.

The last one we recorded was, oh, peek behind the curtain. If you couldn't tell, We banked a shit ton. I think they could tell. But we're so back. We're so back, actually. We're actually so back. I think people probably noticed. That was in May.

Moon. We were recording still in April. We were recording still at the end of April. So, Alf, what is new with you? Well, it's summer um hot damn it is summer oh you're talking about weather some things never change some things never change um suffering fuck attach no i uh yeah is summer, and I have had to turn my air conditioning off for this record. And I'm already so sweaty that I think.

Nothing like summer in the city. Who was that? Whose voice was that? That was Hamilton. Oh, that was Hamilton. Yap less, goon more. That was a parody video that i came across on my instagram and it was a ai cover of lynn manuel miranda and um singing yapp less goon more

and it wasn't just like the chorus it was like all the verses he was like but my yappin's been you know it, it was like really, it was high quality. Anyway, I deleted Instagram. No, you didn't. Not after that, but a few days later, I reached a critical point with reels mainly where I was like, I just don't think poisoning my brain like this, you know, and this isn't. Well, it's because you're on reels. It's because you're not on TikTok. Yeah, totally. That's the kind of poison that seeps in it's like it's already it's

already gotten into every one of my pores well and and i think like the algorithm right you got to train it oh my god the way that i have built my for you page brick by fucking brick i think that my algorithm and i don't i'm not you know trying to make a joke out of it but that my algorithm, and I don't, I'm not, you know, trying to make a joke out of it, but if my algorithm was a dog that you were trying to train, you would put it down. Which is why I deleted Instagram. It was untrainable. I mean, and it's my fault. I was a bad owner of my algorithm. Did you actually delete your Instagram?

I did. Not the account, but the app off my phone. I still look at it, like, on my computer. On your web browser. On my blouser. I go on Safari.com and I search Instagram. No, but I genuinely, like, it had gotten to the point, it didn't matter what I liked, what I didn't like, what I said.

Please don't show me this. It was like, you want more Tradwife content. You want more Tradwife content. And so it was pretty much all tradwife content and then that one yap les goon more no so but it's not i'm i'm not surprised on the slightest that would show you tradwife stuff because that's the kind of shit you would send to me i know i mean i did engage i encouraged the bad behavior and then after years of encouraging no totally no but i'm still gonna put it down because after years of encouraging the bad behavior and then after years of encouraging no totally no but i'm still gonna put it down

because after years of encouraging the bad behavior i was like please stop you were too big to be jumping on you know guests and going trad wife trad wife but it was you know and so i made the choice yeah um to put put put old old yeller to bed once and for all um i but what's new with you man sorry how was how have you been i'm good um i am by the time this comes out i will be hopefully within the next month uh or maybe at the end of the month pregnant getting a tattoo oh wait you're getting a tattoo i'm getting a tattoo are you actually yeah what is it it's a guy getting hit in the head with an axe which is not a joke but people are gonna um be like is it the guy from nightmare before christmas it's not the guy it's like the guy. It's from, it's an artist here in Chicago's Flash,

but it's like a, it's like medieval looking, kind of like cute. It's cute. I like it. I want to see a photo. With the axe. I also, like how iconic would it be if you had a Nightmare Before Christmas tattoo?

I don't, I think my personal brand. It would really put, like, it would be such a like 180 degree turn on your brand. But but also, again, I think I've done such damage to my personal brand. Trag wife. Oh, I love that. Are you getting it in color? I love that.

Yeah, full color. That's so fucked up. Are you actually getting that, though? I am actually getting that. That's so exciting. I put the deposit down. I committed. When are you getting that. That's so exciting. I put the deposit down. I committed. When are you getting it?

11 days from now. Holy shit. So by the time this podcast. Because 11 days from now is one day after my birthday. It was a birthday present for myself. Oh my God. Where is it going to be? Forehead.

No. I'm going to put it on my arm. That's so exciting. Above the elbow. Putting it on the scar on your face. Can you imagine? You're like, can you notice it? Is it it noticeable do you think it draws attention to it that's so exciting oh my god we'll be tat sisters and what are you getting i'm getting a little crescent moon trad wife tiny just a little tiny guy on the ankle um yeah i'm very excited it's for my mommy

and then also for me, it's like stuff. It's like personal things with me and my mom. I'm like a little like girlina bestie mommy and me moment. But then also the other half is it's so nerdy. And I promise I'll stop after. No, never mind. It's too. No, what is it?

No, I don't want to do it anymore. It's just only a public platform. OK, then after this, we'll get into our topic. OK, I don't want to do it anymore Come on It's just only a public platform Okay, then after this we'll get into our topic Okay I promise So my favorite musical of all time is Natasha Peer and the Great Comet of 1812 Of course And there are two songs in that show that are like two of my favorite songs probably of all time of anything ever

Sit down, you're rocking a boat, luck be a lady One of them is called Nowhere Else Favorite song of all time, No One Else. One of them is called Nowhere Else. Favorite song of all time, No One Else. And the other one is called Dust and Ashes. And basically, two, there's, like, they sing about the moon a lot in both of those songs. And it's, like, it ties in the lyrics. There's specifically a lyric in Dust and Ashes.

It's about, like, wanting to live. It's so earnest. It's about like wanting to live it's so earnest it's like did i it's like how the character it's basically if you guys are the musical why would you it's an operatic retelling of war and peace um and if you're falling asleep now just wait until you see it um and it's about how the character pierre he like he's suddenly realizing that he's wasted his Whole life by not really participating In his own life and he says did I Did I look up and see the moon and the stars in the sky Oh why have I been sleeping

And so it's just it's so good They say we are asleep until we fall in love We are children of dust and ashes When we fall in love we wake up We are a god and angels weep And if I die here tonight I die in my sleep Are you fucking kidding actually That musical lost a dear Evan Hansen

Anyway should we get into it I know I know Going through a window Kind of thing I'd get on my Instagram So but we're not here to talk about the moon We're not here to talk about Alf getting hit in the head with an axe Although we could I mean listen we could go on and on

What if we rebranded the show in 2024 uh as an earnest musical theater podcast i listen no don't threaten me with a good time i was gonna say fuck it up let's do it um we are here to talk about something childlike we're here to talk about something whimsical which is like musical yes you don't agree yes i'll be honest with you uh-huh i have reviews okay i don't remember the topic we're talking about face painting that's right genuinely i had screenshots we only decided the topic about an hour ago um if that hour and a half and i took i went immediately found reviews i forgot what the topic was until you just said it yes talk to me about face painting kits i was a big fan of getting my face painted yes

as a kid same um i think anyone who had that what is that you know i think it's theater i think it's imagination i think it's performance and play i think it's exploration i think what was your go-to like what would you love to get painted on your face um animal tiger lion bear Tiger, lion, bear. Oh my. Oh my. I think, yeah, I think at the end of the day, I saw face painting primarily as a way of sort of enhancing. What was already there. The theater of the mind, yes. Enhancing kind of like, you know, I think I was one of those kids, of those normal kids um that uh did a lot of like now i'm gonna turn into a lion you know what i mean that kind of shit a hundred percent like my go-go gadget lion boy type yeah um and so i think it was a way of sort of in hand like yes now my lion form is truly on display. Professor R strikes again.

Stop, stop, stop. We'll get into that later. But yeah, I think it was really, I don't think I ever really went in for the more abstract, you know? When you just sort of get a pattern, get a design. You know, I grew up in a very gendered society and I think I was probably not encouraged to get the butterfly or the mermaid. The mermaid. Yes. Or any of that stuff, you know, which, of course. I probably would have liked, but what about you? What did you? So as a kid, I listen, I think I was very much the same in that it's like you know

would often want to pretend to be an animal but true to form it was always dog um so really how would yeah shocking that's interesting i know so it would be like dog face paint i've i but then also kind of like the fairy kind of sparkles, like all that. But I have one visceral memory. I think I've told the story on the pod before. If I haven't, it's been a while. But just I feel like it's important to really hammer home that at a friend's birthday party in the backyard, they had a face paint artist come. Okay. Sounds lit. it was great bounce

house it was it was a great time um and probably like snacks and i was probably like absolutely i was probably like nine years old okay and i go prime face paint territory of course and they're like what would you like and at the time I had recently for the first time seen the movie uh The Mask

with Jim Carrey and I know what you're thinking oh did you ask I know what you're thinking oh did you ask them to paint the mask on you

and no I did not ask for that Oh did you ask them to paint the mask on you And no I did not ask for that What did you Instead I thought I would be a little different Subversive Yeah cause all the other kids You want to be different from all the other kids That were like please paint me as Jim carries the mask So I ultimately asked

For this artist Yes To write out the line I'm smoking along my forehead and cheek and I asked for smoking

to be like smoking and like for the rest of kind of like my forehead and stuff to be green and I thought that I was the most subversive coolest smartest that's the funniest deepest kid at this party and i remember my dad picked me up and he was like bowled over of course i mean how could you imagine being the like you know 23 year old who's like just one more face painting gig, and then

my screenplay is going to hit big. And you're there, and you're like, yes, what would you like? Oh, you want to be a dog? Okay, cool, cool, cool. And they go, remember that movie from 10 years ago? The one from before I was born, where Jim Carrey is a cartoon sex guy? Can I have his... Can have his oh you want them you want his catchphrases you want to look like him from the movie no I want to kind of look like

him a little bit because there's green but mainly I want the words like yeah so that's that was my type of beat um but as for the kits I didn't the, I never had the full face painting kit. Okay. But I did get like the kind of smaller Halloween equivalent that you'd find at your CVS. Yes. Your grocery store even. It's like orange for the pumpkin costume. Or like just white for ghost slash mummy slash vampire. Yes.

So that would, I had the the smaller one but the ones that i've looked up i mean it's like also the ones i would get back then what when i was buying them at the prime age of probably like six or seven so like in the early aughts that shit was toxic as hell getting that from the grocery store but now they have all these like really like for sense i have very sensitive i know i was amazed all the sensitive paint come off with soap and water the ones that i got back in my day you had to use turpentine no but literally the like the one i remember using and having used on me when i was a kid is it was basically just house paint yes it was like what you would paint your deck with paint and they were putting it on your face yeah Yeah, 100%.

But there was also, like, you remember the, you remember the kind of, like, I don't even know, like, the marker, they weren't markers, but it was like a pen and it's like,

almost like a pastel. Yes. I've been seeing those too. And just grinding it into your face. Like, it's not really marking. So you have to, it's like trying to paint

your face with a crayon. You're just like, if I scratch, trying to get a candle onto your face. Smash face but now they look very nice there's a lot of glitter there's a lot of metallic stuff i mean i would go kind of crazy and they have the books with them of like step by step right how to do it um i it's very fun face painting is fun it's so cute it's so cute so this, we have to set an intention. This feels really like pure.

Pure of heart. This episode's going to be the most pure of heart. My spirit is free and unbounded. I feel fantastic. Finally, we have a pure of heart episode. Oh my God. Do you feel fantastic right now? I feel fantastic.

I feel so light. I feel so light. Yes. I feel so light. I feel so light. Yes. I feel so pure of heart if that makes sense. No, of course. The sun is shining. It's actually quite overcast here today. Yes, yes. Of course, the sun's out and the birds are chirping.

Let's take a quick break and we come back. We will get into our pure of heart reviews for face paint kits do you want to start or should i um Dealer's choice. I can go. No, I got it. No, you go. You go.

I'm just fucking with you. Huh. I'm just fucking around. I'm smoking. Here we go. I'm smoking. Really? It's like such a core.

That's such a core memory for me. And it really explains a lot. It's so funny, too, because it's like you and i it's like parallel lives like the way i was obsessed with the mask when i was that age no i know we found each other we found each other a movie way too young way too young to have seen it and too young to have seen it in the sense that it came out before we were born. Like, we should not. That was not a movie for us. And yet, it was. And I must have seen that film.

So many times. I would say it's up there in terms of, like, probably the films I've seen the most times in my life. It's, like, really. We've really found each other. This is four. Face painting kit for kids party. 20 non-toxic water-based paints. Three glitters.

20. Two hair chalks. Combs. Three brushes. 40 stencils. Two tattoo sheets. Professional face paint makeup kit for sensitive skin. I mean, this has got it all.

This has got it all. Too much, I'd say. This is five stars. Oh, wow. From Siatch. No last name. Sea-atch. I'm on a Sea-atch diet.

I Sea-atch and I eat them. I'm sorry. I'm on a Sea-atch diet. I Sea-atch and I eat them. Five stars. I know the joke. I'm on a Sea-food diet. It's like the seafood. I see itch and I eat them. Five stars. I know the joke. I'm on a sea-ech diet. Like Garfield would maybe say that kind of stuff.

Yeah. Lasagna. I'm on a sea-etch diet. I see itch and I eat it. Five stars. The title is, We had a blast at a family reunion. I picked about 10 images for the quote-unquote menu I offered for the kids.

At first, they were shy. Oh, my God. But after I wrangled one kid as my first canvas, the others came in droves. I was busy for the entire family reunion. Super easy to use. I did minimal practice on myself and grandboy, didn't use the stencils,

and did bring a couple of my own brushes. The hair paint could have been a bit brighter, but it was fun. The glitter was a huge hit. Oh, there is something so kind of Hannibal Lecter about referring to a human person as my canvas. Once I wrangled my first canvas. I thought you were going to say about referring to myself and grandboy. Myself and grandboy.

My primary canvas for the day. Like, fucking jail arrested today. That is bizarre. Also, in droves, how many kids are at the family reunion? That you were busy for the entire time. It's like, pop pop, you want to come get some food? I think the buffet's getting cold. Afraid not.

I have too many canvases. This is too... Hey, Richard, can you meet me in the kitchen for a second, please? Sorry, guys. Sorry. We got more Tostitas coming out soon. Just give me one second. Hey, Richard, can you see me in the kitchen for a second please sorry guys sorry we got we got more we got more tostitos coming out soon just give me give me one second hey richard can you get you see in the kitchen totally totally yeah anyway so um long story short we got the car yes yes all right you've told that story three times come on i i don't dave hadn't heard it okay

well and wait till i wait till i tell you about the warranty all right uh okay more tostitos on the way okay we'll see yeah i'm just gonna give her a hand for a sec what's up um i think it's going great no it is it's so much fun i love your family so much i can't believe your mom said oh never mind we're doing so good no what did she say no i just it was a comment she made a brunch last week where she was like. Last week? Why are you just bringing it up now?

Oh, I thought I'd already told you. She's just like, you know how your mom does. She was just kind of like, oh, you're hosting the family reunion? Like, it was just that. Well, she's just like, you know, she's very blunt. Like, that's just who she is. Yeah. Did you have a problem with that? No, I didn't have a problem with it.

But I'm just saying, like. But you've held onto it for a week and you're just bringing it up now. If she could see us now, like, we're hosting the family reunion and things are looking pretty good. It is. No, it didn't have a problem with it. But I'm just saying, like... But you've held onto it for a week, and you're just bringing it back. If she could see us now, like, we're hosting the family reunion, and things are looking pretty good. It is. No, it is looking good. What's up? You mean to do an ice run? No, honey.

We have so much ice. I can get some more ice, though. I know you want to keep showing how much room there is in the Volvo trunk, but no. There's... We have... The Volvo is filled with ice. Okay. Your father won't leave the kids' playhouse in the backyard.

He won't come out. Oh. How do you... Like, he's playing with the kids in there? I think he was playing with Tina for a second, but then she came inside to get some Otter Pops. And now he won't leave because he thinks that, you know, they're going to come back and everyone's going to want to. He has like a couple of magic tricks he wants to show the kids. Oh, Christ.

But the other kids want to play in there, but not with him. He said magic tricks. He said magic tricks. He said, well, he said, well, I have a few few tricks up my sleeve and then he goes the magic kind christ your mom was right okay i went outside i tried to get him and then no i know no no no they'll come back they'll come back i know i i i just damn okay it's gonna be barb's birthday all over again if we're not careful so um what happened oh no no you remember i told a couple years ago he said he was gonna cut her in half one thing led to another he would do that to his

own grandchildren no but i'm saying i would say even if it was 10 of that we're having a bad party you know what i mean okay well i tried getting him out and he won't he said he said no i don't want to talk to the girl he said that that? I want to talk to the boy. Oh, Christ. And he's not normally like this. It's really out of character. No, well, and I also want to. Like, I don't know what mood he gets into.

And I want to make it also. Like, he had a great relationship. Yes, and I want to make it abundantly clear to you as well that he is not, like, suffering from dementia or any other kind of cognitive decline. That's not what this is. No, that's why it's very confusing. He feels great.

This is just his personality. Exactly. Right. So now that we got that. I need you to. Sorry, I got a little defensive there. I just, he's my dad, you know. No, absolutely.

And actually really quick before you go out there. It's like, I just want to. No, sorry before you go out there it's like i just want to yeah hey no sorry yeah no it's like i just i i i i i just want to our song oh i know i know stop don't butter me up right now god i love you i love you but i'd like to butter you like i just want to circle back to what you were saying about my mom. I feel like you're really, you're like, oh, I'm not mad. But then why would you bring up a comment she made a week ago? No, I wasn't. It's like, if you could defend your dad, I could defend my mom.

It's like, she's just, you know, there's a reason why she's such a successful businesswoman. She's sold a lot of Avon kits because she's direct. She's sold them. She's sold a lot of Avon kits because she is beautiful and strong and intelligent. There we go. Okay, you're always leading with, you know, oh, she sold a lot of kits

because she's beautiful. Yes. She sold a lot of kits because she's a fucking bitch in the best way. Yes, she is a gorgeous boss babe. And she... Go get your weird dad.

He's... Hey. Don't talk about him like that peep p jaw p jaw the grandkids are getting nervous p jaw oh it's you oh it's my boy come on in come on in the water's fine hey dad oh we're doing a pirate thing, I guess. No, there's a little stagnant water in one of the toy cups in here. There was a couple mosquitoes buzzing around, but I got those fuckers with my bare hands. Okay.

Your old man's still got it. Yeah, you said, um, so I was talking, um, in the kitchen and, um. With the girl? Stephanie. Yes, with Steph. And she was, um, saying you had some magic tricks you wanted to show everybody. Oh, God, yes. I have a silver dollar that I'm dying to make disappear behind Brendan's ear.

Yeah, I think Brendan, um, you you know he's probably still has some he might be harboring some feelings from the last trick still so i think maybe we should maybe pick a different um he picked the wrong card what was i supposed to do i had to teach him a lesson right right well i didn't hit him no nobody thought nobody would think you i certainly didn't think you hit him i didn't even touch him you clearly did something right that like crossed a line in some way but wasn't yeah right but wasn't bad um i think bad enough you know is that when kids are reprimanded by someone other than their parent. Totally. It's very embarrassing for them. I think that's true.

And he's getting older. He's nine. He doesn't want his pea jaw coming around and embarrassing him in front of his friends, his cousins, being, oh, you picked the wrong card. You said I'm the bad magician. Well, I would have looked a better magician

if you'd picked the right damn card. You know, that kind of stuff. Well, it's because I could tell he's getting one of those streaks where it's like you know some kids really are into the mat like abigail oh sweet abby that's one of the girls that i love and she's so interested in the magic and the whimsy but then you have kids like brendan who i can tell the path he's taking is me one of those kids it's like well that's not even real that's i could pick a different path. I know, but we, dad, we've had this conversation.

It's actually a very natural part of childhood development. You know, the questioning phase, the kind of like, they're just figuring out, you know, what's real. And, you know, I think it's totally normal for him to be questioning the tricks. I think, I don't think that's behavior that we should punish. You know, maybe. I don't think that's behavior that we should punish. I'm not saying to punish. I'm saying I want to make it up to him by taking a coin out of his hand. Trust me, the kids,

they said they're getting a snack and then they'd be right on back. Can I just tell you how much it means to me, a man my age, being seen and cared for by kids. I just want to clear that up too. You're 63.

You're not that old. You don't have any health issues. This is not a cognitive. You're cognitively, I believe you had a cognitive test. I'm the brightest I've ever been. A few days ago. So you're totally fine on that front. Cool.

It's just nice to feel, you know, when your mother died. Yes. Well, I have to quibble. Was what? The passive voice there. When mom died. I would say, you know, when I think about that, when I talk about it, like with Dr. Wilson, my psychiatrist. I sort of tend to frame it as when mom

was sawed in half by dad that's kind of like how I see it when you sawed mom in half can you see how that's tough for me when you say when mom died as if there was like it was a random act of God and not you sawing her in half at Aunt Barb's birthday

party I can see that I'll give that to you. I loved your mother more than anything in this entire world. Nobody doubted that. She was begging for you to do the trick. She's as culpable in her own death as you. I mean, that's what the court ruled. Oh, so you're saying she was asking for it.

No, no, of course not. But I'm saying that's why you only got three years, you know, versus, you know. That's true. Yeah. got three years you know versus that's true yeah um listen when your mother underwent a terrible tragedy from your saw i lost sight of things a little bit i put the magic away totally and i felt like i think some of us were hoping that was a permanent put in a way. You know? Oh, I see what's happening here.

The girl's trying to get me to come out of the playhouse. Stephanie, my wife, yes. I think Steph would feel more comfortable if you left the playhouse. I mean, Dad, it's 90 degrees out today. You're sweating bullets in here. It can't be good for anybody. I wanted to meet the kids where they're at. It seemed like they were interested in the playhouse,

and I thought, I'll meet them at their level. It's actually really helpful to engage with kids in a way that's like, hey, I'm coming to you. Hey, I'm coming to you. And you were a fantastic fantastic parent and i wouldn't ever criticize that um but you know time to change a little bit and kind of something king has maybe evolved a little bit and i think um look i'll talk to brendan but if he comes over here and you pull a silver dollar from behind his ear,

will you promise me no more magic for the rest of the day? That that will put the magic away for the rest of the day. Well, you're putting me in a very impossible position. I don't, I think it's incredibly, if he loves it and he will, the other kids,

what am I going to do? Deny the other kids the experience of an act of God magic? Totally. Yes, yes, yes. And I know that in prison you found Christ, and that that has been an important part of your healing journey with Mom. And I'm not here. People think that you can't be a practicing christian and also into

magic and that's just not true yeah i think that is a narrow worldview i think you certainly can and i'm not here to disagree or question your faith or anything but i do think that it's interesting when you frame all magic tricks as acts of god, I cannot help but think about mom. Well, that was, to be fair, that was before I found my faith. I know, but it almost feels like you've come up with that worldview as a way of justifying to yourself mom's manslaughter. If God wouldn't have wanted me

to find the silver dollar behind Brendan's ear, he won't. That'll prove it. But if God didn't want your mother to die in a horrible accident. Not to quibble, but going back to when you yelled at Brendan for picking the wrong card. Wasn't that God telling you your magic trick wasn't going to fucking work and it was shit? No, that was a different thing. That was actually Brendan just being kind of a little shit about it.

Why don't you go get him? This will be not only a test of me putting my magic away but it's all if god wants me to stop practicing magic i will not find the silver dollar behind brendan's ear how about that okay you know and i know that the way that trick works is the silver dollars already in your hand we'll have to wait and see. Okay. Hey, Brendo? Brendan.

Hey, Dad, I'm just going to talk to him one-on-one for a sec, if that's all right. That's okay. Hey, Brendo. Hey, Uncle Steven. Or, sorry, this is, oh, no, that's Uncle Steven. Or, sorry. Oh, no, that's Uncle Richard. Robert? Which one are you?

All the triplets look the same to me. Just call me Unkjaw. Hey, Unkjaw. Pjaw, Unkjaw. Me, Jay. What do you want, Unkjaw? Pee-pee. All your grandparents.

Unkjaw, what is it? Yeah, your grandpa, or sorry, your P-Jaw really wants to do a magic trick for you. Do you think that would be okay? Well, he yelled at me a little bit ago for messing one up but i i just i picked the card that i wanted to pick and he said it was wrong i know and he said pick a card any card you picked any card and then he yelled at you and clear as day i i say that's that's a shit that's a bad magician right there. Thanks. But sometimes we have to do things for family that we don't want to do.

But we kind of... Well, not enable or coddle. I just don't want him to yell at me. He won't yell. I'll be right there. He won't yell. If he starts yelling at you. You promise?

If he starts yelling at you, I promise I will step in between and you can run back to the house and I'll give him a piece of my mind. I want the whole family to watch just in case. I think he'd be incredibly into that. So, yeah, sure. Cut to the background The entire It's like 80 people The entire family Alright, Brendan You wanna step up and

Grandpappy Peepy Jaw's gonna show you his trick Step right up Welcome, welcome Ladies and germs To the grand finale or maybe just the beginning, of the Stevenson-Wilkerson Family Reunion 2024 Magic Hour featuring Pija. That's me. Blessings to everybody here today.

Brendan, why don't you step on up, son? Hey, I'm sorry that you picked the wrong card earlier. I'm sorry for giving you a hard time. No, that's okay. But I want to make it up to you. Because I hear that today there's been a very special silver dollar that's been flying around the house. Whoa, I wonder where it came from, you guys. silver dollar that's been flying around the house. Whoa, I wonder where it came from, you guys.

Now, Little Birdie told me that you're kind of a rich man, Brendan. I hear that your piggy bank is getting pretty heavy. Oh, yeah, I save. You know, I save kind of like 20% of every paycheck I make down at Baskin Robbins. Brendan's working at Baskin Robbins? Brendan is nine years old. What is he doing working at Baskin Robbins? Well, that's a smart boy. Smart investment.

That's weird. Saving for the future. That's weird. saving for the future now i heard from another little birdie that you want to go buy yourself a nice big ice cream with that savings um actually i kind of am sick of the ice cream just because i work around it probably he can probably get ice cream for free get it for free i don't also why why is he have a job he's not even 10 all right well none of that matters the point is everyone stop it everyone's just take a second let's all take a second richard your father is going off the rails what else is now okay brendan just come you're gonna stand right over here okay yeah go who's

being a brave contestant i'm trying to cheer him on but it doesn't feel like Who's being a brave contestant? I'm trying to cheer him on, but it doesn't feel like it. It's not a dog. Okay. You wouldn't call a dog a brave contestant either. This is about to be, or not, an act of God magic. Okay. And we said we were going to keep our faith to ourselves today.

That's never what we said. Okay. Oh, well, if they said that I didn't agree to it, why hide your light under a bushel? Okay. Because it makes people uncomfortable. That's why. That's why you would hide it.

Now, Brendan, I'm just going to lay it to you straight. Because you killed their mom and you used the light to explain how it wasn't your fault. That's why you'd keep it under a bushel. If I pull a silver dollar out from behind your ear right now,

then God is real and he wants you to keep doing magic. And if it doesn't work, then I have a lot to think about, and the magic's going away. Can we all agree to that? Yeah, I think we all wish the coin wouldn't come out. All right. I'm a little nervous, Brendan. If this doesn't work, everything is going to need to be re-evaluated.

Getting nervous. Drum roll, please. No one does it. Fantastic. All right. In the name of the Father. Oh, my God. And of the Son.

This is new. And of the Holy Spirit, he pulls out half of a silver dollar. No way. Brendan, something's up with you. No, don't blame Brent. No, no, no. The point is that there's still a lot of mystery in this world. Ladies and germs, my sweet, sweet family.

Stop saying that. The magic will go on. God may be real. And I feel that this is a sign for me to keep pursuing magic until I get definite proof. Because God is not done with me yet. As proven by this half silver dollar. Brendan, thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen. What an amazing, amazing, amazing volunteer. All right. And that's going to be enough magic here for us today, guys. Let's

go back inside. Time for cake. Okay. Son, son, come here. Yeah. Hey, dad. Did you see that? See that you've managed to mess up the simplest trick imaginable? No, I didn't mess up. I didn't touch it. Look at that. It looks like it was broken in half. Probably by you. I saw you furiously straining in the tent, or in the playhouse. I didn't know what that was, but... Why didn't you just let yourself be open open your mind and your heart there's some things in this world that's bigger than us sure and i'm and i'm not disputing that but i think i've i think i've made it pretty clear that's a conversation i don't want to have with you um again i know you're still upset dead horse but the way that you engage with religion seems to be primarily to avoid confronting the fact that you murdered your wife.

I'm going to go to a magic store. Okay. I'm going to buy them out. Okay, good. And then I'll see you on Sunday. You will not be seeing me on Sunday at church, no matter how many times you offer. And you will not be welcome here going forward. I don't think.

I think this was a test. Like your Christian God is so fond of. It was a test and I think you did not pass. I think you failed it. Could you be normal for one family event? And I think we all realize now that the answer is no. So. I pull out a full silver coin from behind your ear.

He's not finished with you. I don't think that's the mic drop that you think it is staff your mom was right we fucking suck at this my family's weird oh i love starting with a normal one yeah that was really interesting i think it's interesting how interesting that was it wasn't it interesting or Would you like me to do it or should you? I have one. Hit me with your rhythm stick. What's that?

You can jury in the blockheads. Hit me with your rhythm stick. Hit me. Hit me. I have one. Hit me with your rhythm stick. This is for face painting kit for kids. 28 colors.

Professional face paint kit. Non-toxic. Hypoallergenic. for kids. 28 colors. Professional face paint kit. Non-toxic. Hypoallergenic. Stencils. Book. Halloween makeup kit. Safe and easy to use face paint kit for all kids. Wow, they really give you everything in there. They really give you everything in there. Five stars from Caroline.

No last name. Caroline or change. Caroline or Change. Caroline or Change. Deep cut. I told you. I told you we were going to make this a musical theater show. After attending a birthday party where a mom did face painting, I thought I could do that too.

I got the kit the same day. I think I tried. Sorry. I got the kit the same day, I think, and tried it immediately on my daughter. She absolutely loved it. And it looked great. The next day, we had a park play date with our friends, and I painted all the children's faces. The other moms asked if I'd practiced a lot.

LOL. Other parents came up to me and asked if it was free. We had a blast. I love how she added got it the same day, I think, as if she didn't go out straight that next day and was like, that same day was like, I'm going to get it. I'm going to paint my fucking kid's face and send that. I'm going to be the most popular mom at the park.

I'm going to be the most popular mom at the park. I mean, I think I got it the same day. If my memory serves, I think that was the same day. Is there anything in there about the kids enjoying it? Apparently the kids had a... Let me double check. Like, it just feels like... No, it just says that she practiced on her daughter.

Daughter absolutely loved it and it looked great. Daughter absolutely... It just feels like so like... And then they painted all the kids' faces at the park and then she said, we had a blast. But all the random kids at the park, she did not say if the kids enjoyed that or not i just feel like she's really centering her own experience you know what i mean absolutely

she's really like this kit was for me you know what i mean i feel like she's probably pitching it as though it was for the kids but really it was for her amanda i didn't know that you're an artist look at that you've got the most a beautiful butterfly in my little girl's face. Stop, stop, stop. I'm not. I am nothing. I am certainly no artist.

Let's put it that way. Come on. You're not nothing. No, I just, I actually didn't know that we were supposed to bring activities to Sarah's birthday party. Oh, no. I just brought cupcakes. I wasn't sure.

No, cupcakes are delightful. I spoke to Sarah's mom and I said, hey, I have all these old paints lying around. They're going to expire soon. I should, oh, let me use them up. And I thought it'd be a fun thing to do. You know, Bobby's birthday is not for another 18 months. And I thought, you know, it might be nice to. Another 18 months?

We only celebrate on the leap year. He was a leap baby. Oh, interesting. Oh, well, I just wish I'd known. I could have brought something. What would you have brought? Oh, well, I have a sewing kit at home. I could have fixed some

buttons on the kids. Oh, how fun. Oh, well, I'm sorry i i um i just i uh i i feel a bit embarrassed now what for well you know it's just when you have kids you always dream about oh i'm gonna be the cool mom and um well i uh i'm not saying i'm not that but you are i mean you are just so uh you are such a cool mom you are such a you're such a cool mom oh stop that stop that i um you know i i did i did dream as as a kid of being an artist you know i i i actually did a few years at school. But you work in tech now, don't you? Yes, well... Bobby's father, also an artist, and, you know, time came.

One of us had to be practical-minded, right? And it certainly wasn't going to be David. So we decided I would be pursuing the breadwinning role, as it were, and that he would continue with his ceramics. And he's been very successful. He's extremely successful. I'm so sorry to interrupt, but I just saw a child run across with what looks like to be a portion of the art of the Sistine Chapel on his face. Was that you? Yes, yes.

I think that's Damien. Odd boy. Odd, odd boy. He asked me to paint. Was that you? Yes, yes. I think that's Damien. Odd boy. Odd, odd boy. He asked me to paint. Yes, he said do a Michelangelo. So that was my interpretation of the prompt. Hey, Lauren, we're going home.

Hey, Lauren, honey. Why are you leaving? Why are you leaving the party? Sarah's mom has barely just started. I know, but we have other plans. We have another birthday party, honey, don't we? Whose? Lauren? Somebody else from the Academy?

From Wilshire Academy? It's actually one of her cousins, my sister's boy. They live in town? They live so far outside of town that no one you know will be there. Whereabouts? It's farther. You know Bakersfield? Oh, absolutely.

I have a sister there. It's way farther away than that. So far. So we actually should get going. Lauren, get in the car now. Lauren, we have to go. Lauren, honey. I'm delightfully connected to the area.

That's so wonderful. But Lauren and I do have to be leaving Hey Lauren I hate to brag but I doubt there's a single party Happening anywhere in the tri-state area Where I don't know somebody in attendance Oh no well it's my family So it's just a family thing

What was your maiden name again? Lauren we need to go My maiden name Is Steppy steppy oh my word the bakersfield steppies i didn't realize there were any of you still rattling around no but we weren't actually um you miss you miss you mistake me uh for a bakersfield Steppy. Like I said, we are far out of Bakersfield. Oh my, a Montgomery Steppy?

This far from home? Remarkable. Yes. Lauren, I need you to come here and get in the godforsaken car. You seem like you're getting other work to other people. Angela, it has been so wonderful to see you, but I actually, we have to,

Lauren, we need, I will see you next time I see you. Why don't, why don't you go and run along, do whatever it is you need to do, and, and, and, well, Lauren can stay with us tonight. Her and Bobby are very close. I, no, but Lauren, it's, the point is that it's for her little cousin's birthday. Oh, but she's having such a, how, how old is the cousin turning? He's turning one.

Oh, he won't even remember. Let her stay. She's having a blast. The Steppies, we have very good memories. Lauren, Lauren, honey, come here. Hey, sweetie.

Sweetie, we need to get, thank you for finally coming when mommy calls. But we just got here. I know, but we have such a busy day, my darling. And you have such a,

such a great little mermaid on your face. But we do need to wash that off and then we need to go home um oh lauren would you like to stay with us today would you like to have a sleepover at barbie's oh well lauren i lauren i actually didn't give permission oh no angela angela's stepping out of turn please mommy oh my god i would have loved that more for anything i know you would honey but you know who would love you more than anything? It's little John, little baby John John. Who's little John?

Little John is your little cousin who's turning one today. Oh. No, that's Lil John. This is little John. Shut, shut. So, Lauren, we're going to need to get in the car. I know. I'm so sorry, but we actually have to.

Who's little John? I don't know him. I just told you that he's the cousin who you love so much. You remember you held him as a baby. And you said, oh, this is my baby now. And I said, no, that's your auntie Carol's baby. Well, he's still a baby if you ask me, one-year-old. Auntie Carol doesn't have any kids, I didn't think.

Lauren, I. Uh-oh. Oh, your father's calling. I think he wants to talk to you. Um, let's, yes, look,

I see it on my Apple watch, which none of you can see. I see it on the watch face right now. It says a hubby hubby incoming. Um, so why don't, why don't you take my cricket phone, which is the one I have for you,

and you go take it into the other room and you talk to your father. Okay. Is he okay? Is everything okay? Well, why don't you go check on him? What? Okay. Hello?

Hello? So I should collect my cupboards. Is everything all right with your husband? Oh, yes. He just wanted to talk to his little princess. Sorry, collect your cupcakes? You're taking the cupcakes? Oh, I meant the tins that I brought them in.

The cupcakes obviously, obviously can be left here. The tins? What do you mean the tins? I brought a tin of cupcakes. What do you mean a tin? The tin, the baking tin. Like the tray? Yes.

Oh, okay. Are you like Welsh or something? That tin, I've never heard that. No, of course you're not Welsh. You're a steppy. I'm a steppy. Look, Angela, can I be honest with you? Oh, this is the first time for everything.

I've always felt even even more so today... Erotic. What? What? I was going to say, I've always felt a little bit intimidated by you. The charge, yes. I have that effect on women. I'm not attracted to you, Angela.

Lie to yourself all you like. I've always felt intimidated by you. Right. You know, I came to Westchester hoping to be the cool mom. Oh, that was never going to be you. Okay, well, don't have to be rude about it. No, well, it was never going to be me either. Well, it is you.

Oh, you're being ridiculous. Lucas' mom. No, of course it's you. It's Lucas's mom. Lucas's mom is a hag and a hack. You know how to paint Michelangelos on children's faces. You are dressed head to toe in the

Yeezy collection from 2018. Oh, I know. I'm so dated. No, come on. It's chic. And I just. I'm so dated. No, come on. It's chic. And I just... I wish that the kids got as excited about me as they do you.

There's only one kid who needs to be excited about you and not your own. Well, I... My Bobby could care if I lived or died. I swear. Oh, don't say that. Your Bobby loves you. I did. You know what happened earlier on? I said, Bobby, what would you like Mommy to paint on your face? And you know what Bobby said?

What? Your obituary. No. Yes. No. Yes. Bobby did not say that. Bobby asked me to paint my own obituary.

Well, did you? I did my best, said you know that's what the newspaper i thought it was just bobby wanted the the news on about a thousand words a little generous maybe i probably could have done 500 and could they read it? I should hope so. My penmanship is anything but, but it is. What it isn't. Bobby loves you. Oh. Okay? I have no doubt about that. But no child ever thinks their

parent is cool. That's just the way it is. Well, I think I remember always thinking my mom was the coolest. And who was your mother? She was my best friend. Who was your mother? And she was my best friend. Who was your mother? You wouldn't know her. Oh, try me.

Penelope Steppe? You're lying. I have no reason to. She's just my mother. Penny Steppe. My word. You know Penny Steppe? She was my piano teacher. Oh, gosh. Well, what a small world indeed. She really was the first one who taught me to love art and bring

joy to the world. Oh, well, I'm happy to hear that. But anyway, she's my best friend. And I just want my little girl to see me like that. And, you know, I lied. My sister doesn't have a little boy. Little John doesn't exist. That was obvious, yeah. I was going to go out and get a face painting kit and practice. It's sad. I know.

I mean, I'm not thrilled. I'm ashamed. You should be. I am. I just don't have a thing you're the cool artsy mom and mommy just daddy didn't pick up i tried three times and he didn't pick up any time oh he's at work he's just in a meeting he's trying to call us he you know what i think it was a butt dial my love love. He's okay. He's perfectly fine. How do you butt dial an iPhone?

It's very weird, but it happens a lot. I've never butt dialed on my cricket. Exactly. Now look, Lauren, you can have a sleepover at Bobby's tonight. Sick. But can I ask you something before I go? You're leaving?

I'm gonna leave, yeah, and I'll leave you with the... Oh, wait, Lauren, Lauren. Bye, Mommy. Lauren, I'm not leaving yet. Bye, Mommy. I have a question for you, my love. What is it? What do you think about me? Um, you're my mom. Well, obviously, What is it? What do you think about me?

You're my mom. Well, obviously. But what do you... Am I your bestie girl? Am I what? Am I the cool mom? Am I... Like, what do you... When your friends ask about me, what do you say?

I don't know. Stuff. Oh, this is a stupid question i'm gonna angela this was a this was a waste i'm gonna go i guess i say my mommy my mommy could have been a concert pianist but oh no you froze oh no am i Am I back? Wait, hello, sorry. Oh, you're freezing. You're freezing. Oh, I am freezing. You guess you say what? Oh no.

Now you've frozen. Hello? There we go. You guess you say... I guess I say... My mommy could have been a concert pianist, but... She gave it up for me. Does that not make you feel so loved?

No. It's a lot of burden. The guilt, I feel. It's not fair. Bye, Mommy. Oh, my God. Um, I... That's very normal.

Very normal. I'm so sorry. She's long gone, girl. She's long gone. Just go home. See Steppy. Okay. I go home. See Steppy. Okay. I go home.

I cut to house. Cut to house. Cut to house. I see a grand piano covered by an old bed sheet. Hello, old friend. Take the bed sheet.

Smooth old bed sheet. Hello, old friend. Take the bed sheet. Smooth as the last day I played. Not a scratch on you. Took good care of you after all these years. I bet I'm terrible. You know, I could never practice as a child. It always bored me to tears. I sit down, plunk out like hot cross buns. I'm so stupid. What a waste. Try me. What? Try me again. Oh my god, no.

I thought you'd left. I thought you'd left me when I was a child. No, I'm the muse, the spirit of the piano, and I'm here to tell you to play the, play me. Oh, I will if you, if you insist. Does this mean I, oh, the gift is coming back to me. Yes, it never left. Maybe it never

left. It never left, exactly. Oh my word, we're on the same page. I play, it's perfect. It's gorgeous. It's the most incredible concerto piano anyone's ever played. Angela crawls out from under the piano. I told you you could do it! I was the voice of the piano.

Angela, what are you doing here? Well, originally I just came over because I saw you'd left your keys behind at the party. And I thought, you know, I'd give you your keys, and I saw you, and I thought I'd crawl onto the piano and pretend to be the spirit of it. Angela, I don't want to sleep with you. Yet. Ever. Never say.

Angela, I'm taking a page out of your book, and I'm following my passion, and even though you are not the real muse of the piano spirit, I am... I feel complete again. Now maybe my daughter will like me. Oh, you've missed the point so terribly. Do we have time for one more? Are you sure?

Do we like the grandpa using God and magic scene? Was that the first one? Mm-hmm. What was the second one? Oh, the weird blue boy. I like the first one more than the second one. More than the second one? Okay, so then we did this one.

We need one more than the second one. More than the second one? Okay, so then we did this one. We need one more. Fuck. Okay. So we'll cut second blue boy. It's so hot in here. Grandpa God magic. We'll do this one, competitive moms. And then we need one more. Okay.

Do you have another one? Yeah, of course. Do we have time for one more yeah sure do this is from angela g one star for blue squid fake paint kit for kid 22 color 160 piece ultimate face paint kit stencil book safe for sensitive skin non-toxic face paint kit angela garfield angela garfield she hates mondays one star do not buy we used it for my daughter's first birthday and all the kids and their parents got their faces painted and went home with more than a favor box they went home with a tattoo this paint stains your face and now i feel bad they all have to go to work and school like that there's a couple things here that stand out to me the first of course is um why the fuck

are you painting faces at a first birthday party that's crazy um the only the only thing that those one-year-olds are thinking is get this shit off me um and also all the adults got their face paints too now i feel bad now i feel one star because i because it made me feel bad um jackson come on in my office, please. What's going on? Boss man. Hey, man. Oh, hello, hello, hello.

Happy Monday. I'm just going to cut right to the chase. Looks like you had a pretty good weekend. We cannot have this kind of behavior in the office. We just can't. It's distracting distracting and especially we have such a big project right now i mean we have the we have the gerber package right now we have the gerber client and this what are you doing what are you doing with your hands i'm just like this

is coming out of nowhere i'm i'm i'm sorry you're gonna have to slow down here i'm not keeping up what's it's just what's the problem problem. Was it the package from Friday? Was the package wrong that I sent you? The ad package? Was that wrong? No, no, no. That was great. That's the thing is that your work has consistently been like B plus.

Like it's been good enough to get by. It's not been like top of the grade. Yeah, no, no. It's been pretty solid. I'm not trying to be CEO. Right. But you are trying to be seen in a way that just feels like they're the gerber client is coming in today right i have a whole slide i you are not going to

be giving the presentation why not why not come on man don't do that i'm too stressed today to be playing these kind of games right now are you fucking with me like i don't understand what's going on man i don't have the i don't have the bandwidth to fuck with anyone right now okay then what the fuck are you what why why the hell are you taking me off the pitch like you fucking i wouldn't i stayed up i'm still i'm serious man i'm your college roommate but i'm still your boss i stayed up like all night finishing this fucking slide show and now you're coming in here and telling me that i can't i can't i can't pitch did you Have you seen your face? When you wake up, do you have any fucking mirrors in your house?

What kind of question? Yeah, I think, yes, I have mirrors in my house. What the fuck are you talking about? And so nothing about this morning, nothing about your appearance today made you second guess anything? I was going to trim my beard at lunch or something. I don't know. No, the beard is, no matter how much you trim it you cannot grow a beard dude what's your damage what's wrong you have pennywise full pennywise face paint on what the hell are you talking your full face is pennywise the clown face paint what and you then also have

the title of the movie it on your forehead which is a hat on a hat we all know what that face paint is oh my god and then under your jaw it says you'll float too which you can only see if you tilt your head up well yes and then it and then it says down'll float too which you can only see if you tilt your head up well yes and then it and then it says down here on my chest but you can't see that part so you know what you look like i didn't realize this was going to be an issue you didn't think it was going to be an issue i know i know what this is really about it couldn't be about anything other than this you're jealous i promise i'm not

you're jealous of what the fact that nick invited me to his bachelor party in Vegas last weekend, right? We went on Friday night. We had a little party. Oh, you think Nick didn't invite me? And you weren't invited. Oh, you think you're not as close with Nick as you think because I actually was invited, but I was busy because I was proposing to Melissa that weekend. You did not.

No way. Of course I did. Yes. Seriously, man. Yes. Hey. Congrats. you did not know that no way you of course i did yes seriously man yes hey congrats you just cost me 50 bucks you asshole uh jackson you either need to wash that shit off of your face and neck you think i haven't tried i think you haven't tried because all this this entire conversation you've been acting like i'm crazy for thinking that you i went to vegas with nick and the guys

i fell asleep first that was a mistake they pulled a prank they thought it would wash off it won't wash off it's been three fucking days. I was up all night finishing the fucking pitch because I spent the better half of the day running around town with a fucking ski mask on, buying every makeup remover product out of every goddamn Walgreens in the city. I see.

So, yeah, I know that I look like fucking Pennywise and I've got quotes for the movie I don't know where I'd love to meet the asshole whose idea that was but none of them would cop to it they're like oh it was kind of a group decision like I think Nick might have said and then I said and I don't buy it

one of those freaks was like we're gonna do like it doesn't matter but now Nick's saying I can't even be in the wedding party. Because I'm going to ruin the photos. Look, I'm sorry. And now I'm hurrying him. I'm getting fucked at work.

By the guy who's supposed to be my best friend. I am your best friend. But also, this is a professional. But you cannot keep pulling out that card. I'll wear the ski mask. No, that's worse. Somehow. In the out that card. I'll wear the ski mask. No, that's worse somehow. In the Gerber meeting, I'll wear the ski mask. No, that's terrifying.

Okay, I will talk on a speaker in your lip sync. Pretend you're me. You're not doing the pitch. Are you serious? I'll AI. I'll do it AI. I'm fully serious. I'll do it in the metaverse.

I'll do it in the metaverse. I'll do it in the metaverse. You'll stream me in. I'll go in your office and I'll wear the headset and I'll do it in the metaverse I'll do it in the metaverse I'll do it in the metaverse you'll stream me in I'll go in your office and I'll wear the headset and I'll do it in the metaverse Jackson dude

are you serious if you imagine if the roles were reversed right now okay I'd give you a raise you're very important no

I'd give you honest to god I'd give you a raise man cause I if the roles are reversed I haven't been appreciating you for a long time you need to go take a day it's not gonna be off tomorrow nothing will be different tomorrow what will be different is that we won't have the client

coming into the office to hear the pitch for the new app campaign okay so i could come in the rest of the week like normal come into the rest of the week use one of the empty conference spaces to work okay um michael from accounts said that he has a bit of a clown phobia and so that was actually what alerted i hadn't seen you all day that's what alerted me to it's because we have some people who are very scared of what you if he's got clown phobia i don't know how he does this i don't know how he does meetings with you i am not i'm just razzing you man you are upset you nearly took it you nearly fell for it you nearly fell for it i am on a razor's fucking edge, Jackson, and this is the last thing I need today.

Remember in college? Remember what in college? Yeah, I remember. No. Tell the story and then go. When we used to, that game we used to play in the house. It was just, like, it wasn't a gay thing we were just kissing like what glamour boys we called it glamour boys where glamour boys kissed because it was a superpower you gain

superpowers from the kisses i'm feeling feeling like i could use a superpower right now that's all i'm saying i'm not gonna fucking kiss you dude okay which might might make you feel better boys got their power from within yeah i'm just saying like i don't know could be kind of uh nah whatever yeah yeah whatever i just like i know i'm engaged now also that was just drunk kids fucking around yeah but i don't know man in vegas this weekend like i just did a lot of thinking and like i don't know um i'm gonna i'm gonna quit the firm. Excellent. Seriously? It'll probably help our friendship if we are working together. No, you don't understand. I don't want to see you anymore.

Because I wouldn't let you do the pitch with Pennywise on your face? Because Glamour Boys. We haven't talked about the Glamour Boys for 10 years. But you knew immediately what I was talking about. You think about it too. Jackson. Be honest. You think about it.

And you have a little what if. No. You do. Be honest. I do think about it. But the Glamour Boys only use their power of glamour to give themselves confidence. Okay. And that's why we did it.

We thought like, oh, we need to pump ourselves up to get girls. And so that's why we need to like kiss each other a little bit to get that glamour back. And it worked, right? Yes, that's how I got Melissa. But it wasn't right. What wasn't right? Melissa, right? You were maybe thinking about the boys.

You are putting that on me. Yes. Yes. Just like how Nick and the guys put this face paint on me. Right. So you agree that you're projecting something onto me that they put onto you. All right. I don't think I can come to your wedding that hurts my heart i'm gonna start something there

okay well then definitely don't come i'll be a problem if i'm there okay great i'm glad you have the self-awareness to remove maybe call the situation. So maybe call it off? I'm not gonna do that. Damn. What a shame. I'm sorry if you felt like I was leading you on, but that was just, you know. You don't get it. It's fine. You do have the power of the Glamour Boys, and you

always don't need to kiss me. Shut the hell up. You don't even get to talk about the Glamour Boys and you always don't need to kiss me. You don't even get to talk about the Glamour Boys anymore. You're out. We can't be out of something that we created. No, it's literally just me and Patrick and Damien and Nick now. Not you. They're all going to be at the wedding. They're all some of my closest friends too.

Doubt it. Doubt they'll come. Do they know about the Glamour Boys? You think you were the only one I did the Glamour Boys with? Yeah, I know I was the only one you did the Glamour Boys? You think you were the only one I did the Glamour Boys with? Yeah, I know I was the only one you did the Glamour Boys with. I think they would beg to differ. Interesting how jealous you're getting, though. I'm not jealous.

I'm just confused. Why? Well, maybe lean into that confusion and see what's down there. Because you were bringing up, like, oh, Glamour Boys, the Glamour Boys. You haven't stopped thinking about it. So then you did Grobert Boys with everybody? Yes, I did. Is that a problem for you?

So then are you, then why are you bringing it up to just me? Because I, you were special and different. This feels weird. You're telling me. You're my boss. You're fired. I'll make it easier. Hell yeah.

Severance. With the Betty Mar yeah. Severance. With the Betty versus Severance. I got Severance. Goes out of the office. Fuck you. I'm getting the Severance package. Michael from accounts. Oh, Bob.

Boogity, boogity, boogity, boogity, boogity. You're the accountant who's going to fucking figure out my severance package, you dumb clown-ass bitch. Let's do our last segment. Bitch. Me all week long. I'll tell you what, Glamour Boys is going to be shaking me. Yeah, that was odd, man. I think I'm going to blame it on the heat in this apartment.

I think I have to blame it on the heat. More than on the boogie. What's been shaking me is the Amazon Prime series Fallout. Not the game, but the TV show. I knew this was going to be it. It is so good. It is one of my favorite TV shows in the past couple years.

It's so good. And by the time this comes out, it'll be old news. But thankfully there'll be a season two. I just thought it was done so well. By the time this comes out, there will be a season two. Everyone in the Discord and on the Reddit, if you thought, oh, Riley's going to want to fuck the ghoul. Yeah, of course.

Are you serious? Of course. Of course. In the ghoul outfit. Yeah. No nose. Here's the thing. It's so good.

What now? I had a blast. It's, I love all of, I miss the miss the like i've missed they they did so many practical effects practical like that it just it shows and it's really fun it's a fun world it's done really well i had a blast i was just geeking out about it i had a great time it's a blast um and i recommended it to alf alf started and i don't know how far along you are into it yet but it's so good, you guys. Look, once in a blue moon,

Riley has a recommendation that's worth its salt. Broken clock is right twice a day. And, you know, I think that stuff about the Google aside is really worth watching. What's been shaking your ass? I made cookies. I made... Gochujang caramel?

Yes, gochujang caramel cookies, and they were good as hell. What do they taste like? So, basically what they taste like is... So, the base is like a snickerdoodle. So, it's like a chewy kind of cinnamony, you know, sugar cookie thing. You know, they're big cookies that kind of really soft, thin but big like chewy cookie and then the gochujang you know it's like it's basically just the way that you make that part is it's brown sugar

gochujang which is like a korean chili paste red chili paste um and it's just kind of like sweet and spicy um and it just like cuts through the carrots but it's like it has that like caramel like chewiness cuts through it being overly sweet yeah i i it's hard to yes i mean i think the spiciness just like it just makes this it just balances out the kind of like snickerdoodle it's just it just all works so i can't describe i'm doing a poor job it's just it's like no it's like in the way that it's like mexican chocolate it's like you have the sweetness right but then like this but yeah right and it's like it just i couldn't i wouldn't eat a whole plate of snickerdoodles i would eat a whole plate of these

damn they're so fucking good love i made another batch just to give to people he's a huge selfless awesome friend he's a pillar of the community he's i want to try one they're really good and they're not that hard to make um well if you actually i was gonna say if you want to find out for an instagram but you can't no no still follow because i'll be back i'll be back by the time this episode comes up so often you're a fucker and I hate your ass. You can find Alf on Instagram at alfredinnit. You can find the show on Instagram at reviewreview. Reddit r slash reviewreview.

Review, review, discord. Hi. And you can find Riley on Instagram.com. Just a web browser, not the phone. App at Riley and Spot. And on Twitter.com for as long as it lasts which is surprisingly long now uh now known as xxxxx.com at Riley Coyote and as we say every single week of the show we're always saying it we're never ever not saying it glamour boy glamour boy Glamour Boys Glamour Boys

Glamour Boys well okay well us Glamour Boys we'll see you next week us Gwammer Boys Gwammer Boys bye that was a

Hiddem Original