Review Revue - Fanny Packs

Episode Date: June 18, 2024

Alf and Reilly need someone to take their side as they fail to make it on broadway. >>>>><<<<<Follow at:IG: @reillyanspaugh @alfredinnitTwitter: @reilecoyote Join the discord here!Produced by Daniel Ramos @SchubirdsAdvertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Just a one-star review. Living in the podcast. and participating restaurants for a limited time. Just a one-star review. Living in the podcast. She took the improv bit way too far. Just a head gum pod. Recording on a Sunday Sunday moon it's Saturday he took too many drugs he doesn't know what day it is

yeah reviews reviews okay living just to find reviews strangers searching for a pod ooh Living just to find reviews. Strangers. Searching for a path.

Ooh. Yeah. There you go. And that's when you would fade it out and you'd be like, Oh, that was so good, but I don't want to hear any more of that shit. Thank you so much for submitting that, Elf. I think my favorite part of that song

was how I didn't know whose point of view we were singing from. I didn't know. Well, they were both Rachel. i didn't know whose point of view we were singing from i didn't know well they were both rachel's point of view is they were both rachel what's new with you this one goes out to the boys with a booming system drop down ac with the boom we were talking about glee before we started recording the thing i was waiting to say is okay we're going over kind of like cursed songs on glee um i will say let's have a kiki slash turkey lurkey time that's so good it's pretty iconic um i think a cursed one for me is gonna go ahead if you guys haven't watched glee grow up go watch it go watch it fucking

just grow up it's 2010 already here's a question i have for you do you want to hear my curse oh yes no i do i'm so sorry it's will schuster singing the thong song yes thong thong yes here's the thing that a lot of people forget it makes you want to tear off let's see if you remember it let's see if you remember this okay quick pop quiz glee pop quiz yes what was will schuster's job spanish teacher right how many times did that man sing a song wearing a poncho and a sombrero i more than two i would argue two's too many was it one it was one still too bad what was it for it's too many for sure i genuinely believe he sang la cucaracha mr shoe in i remember and again if you have never watched glee then skip ahead slash grow up and watch it but i remember just like i re-watched the pilot maybe like a year or two ago

because I'm like oh I need just like a show to have on while I'm doing chores right now it has become as I said last week Sex and the City

I'm rewatching Sex and the City I'm having a blast but at one point my contender was am I just going to rewatch Glee because I did fall off I was a huge Glee stan because it came out

right at the perfect time for me and my life and age and tweendom for my little geeky theater nerd heart. I know. But then I fell off

near the end. But I rewatched the pilot and that man really goes into his student, like goes into the locker room and spies on his student while he's naked and showering. naked,

seeing candle in the wind, I think. And then plants weed on him to then force his hand to join the Glee Club. I always said this. The first season of Glee is genuinely good. It is satire. Oh, no, it is. The first season of Glee is great.

It is self-aware. It is really fucking funny. I agree. And I think it holds up like first season does the first season i think is very from the minute season two begins it's a downhill fucking like i did also just send you the link in the chat it is like hukaracha um that's so you can watch that later no i don't want to and it's to be clear it's not just mr shu that's in a poncho uh with a sombrero and an accordion. I feel like it's like some of the students, too. It's also Finn and Puck.

Now, can I ask what the context was? They were in Spanish. I believe it is from season one, episode six, maybe, The Spanish Teacher. Right after we're saying saying the show holds up which is the one where rachel thinks she's in love with mr shoe oh yeah that was a big old subplot um but what's new with you i don't want to hear about mr shoe i want to hear about you what's new with mr shoe i mean i said excuse me you're a hell of a guy i mean my my my you're still thinking about it you're still thinking about um what's new with me

is i people will remember i quit coffee i started drinking coffee again well how are we feeling i have been limiting my coffee intake some days i don't have any still brave brave brave brave thank you thank you thank you everybody some may say dangerous some may say impossible um and i'm drinking an iced americano right now see that sounds fucking disgusting i know i know people hate on iced americanos but here's the thing no the coffee shop there is a coffee shop where i don't like anything they have except an iced americano is bland enough that like it just you know they always taste like ass so it's fine then drink something else my darling but i don't like their drip and i don't and i like don't like their cold brew and i don't like my darling their espresso is not good enough that i want an espresso drink darling that's the sequel florence pew get it get it get a cappuccino i

don't here's the thing with cappuccino is like i have to like the espresso right like i get that with the nice americano it's like we're fucking all it's just caffeine water like and i feel like they're hydrating this is not about the what we're talking about no it's definitely not hydrating yeah i can understand so it's probably fine it's okay um i have never tried a celsius what's new with me is that i was really close to trying one did you not no because there's 200 milligrams of caffeine. It's not that much. That's so much caffeine.

No, that's less than a cup of drip. I don't think that's true. Yes, yes. I don't think that's true. No, that is true. Let me Google it. How many milligrams of caffeine in a cup of drip? Cup of droopy the dog okay yeah no that is more than a cup of trip yes oh no that's an eight ounce strip okay so an eight

ounce strip has like 100 milligrams so 16 ounce drip boom 200 milligrams still but the thing about celsius is it has it has what is that it has other naturally occurring stimulants and like other than caffeine it's got that guarine it's got that theanine it's got all those fucking other names speaking of knees we're talking about fan knee i'm not sure I'm ready. I'm not sure I'm ready for this. I think mentally I'm still in the intro thing ugly. I will kick us off. I love a fanny pack. I love it. I really, I started using them in my daily life last year.

So late to the game. So late to the game because I have this one purse that's the size of guam that i carry around everywhere and like it's just um it's too big it carries too much i don't got in there what's like taking up all that room why do you need a thing that big my giant ass hydro flask and my planner and while it's like too much too much but um i got a fanny pack when i when i uh working last year like um i i wear it on while i work and it's like easy to clip a radio and a mic pack too and like i'm like oh but i can also fit other things in here a little chapstick i just haven't stopped chapstick sunglasses, sunglasses, tiny, tiny notebook.

Granola bar. Granola bar. Pack of toothpicks. Really? Yes. You use toothpicks? When I'm on location. Why?

I'll tell you off the air. What the fuck? I love fanny packs. I rarely now use them as around my fanny i do wear like a cross body moment um and so i love this is gonna have to be this is the moment where we have to talk about it because it's like the thing you just said it like is a fanny pack i know so we do have british listeners and australian listeners and kiwi listeners and listeners generally for whom the word fanny means pussy oh i thought that fanny was just solely ass so in the u.s it is no i don't

wear the fanny pack on my vagina there i don't are many parts of the world in which it is called a bum bag because fanny pack means pussy bag and i'm not trying to be crass here no no i know you're not and i also would like to clarify that that's not uh well that's not where i'm wearing it well i've seen videos you wear the crossbody bag, but it's like strapped like around your entire body, like between your legs and over your shoulder. Yes.

I love a fanny pack, dude. I wear one pretty much like in the summer. If I'm leaving the house, I got that thing on me. Okay. You're strapped. I famously,

my keys are so fucking many. My keys are numerous. My keys are so fucking many my keys are numerous my keys are so fucking many i have so many keys my wallet is thick with two fucking c's i have every piece of plastic i've ever owned in there and so when i'm wearing shorts in the summer it looks like i have some sort of like you're smuggling something exactly like either a packet of drug or perhaps a secret microphone from the 70s. Like it's giving deep throat. Huh. Like Nixon.

Not like, you know. I've seen videos. That's good. That's good, man. I'll take that. Hey, come on. Hey, come on. It goes with.

And I. It goes with. i it cooks with when we were young obviously that's from beauty the beast but just for a little bit of lore that is specifically from the live action beauty of the beast you and you and regreger you and regreger that that that's what alfred i quote it cooks with it cooks with it cooks with it cooks with because he's what lumiere yes crazy casting by the way it cooks worth oh insane guess it goes sorry i didn't mean to cut you off it cooks with it cooks with um god this show is good useful it cooks with or when is it. Suddenly those good old days are gone. Oh, I think it is that. A. Cooksworth.

It could be anywhere. It could be anywhere. It's like, that's what's so fantastic. It's like, beauty and the beast. A. Cooksworth. A. Cooksworth. There was a cabaret. A. Cooksworth. A. Cooksworth. there was sorry so a cabaret I it could be anywhere it doesn't even have to be

in Beauty and the Beast but that's the beauty of it but I love a fanny pack every day in the summer I'm wearing one so that I don't look like I have too many things in my pockets

and also so I don't lose stuff like a music festival okay fanny pack a hike fanny pack a train journey fanny pack i i went to disneyland with elizabeth valenti last year and coming from someone who who wears an obscenely capriciously

ludicrous bag uh i think that's the line from succession if it's not i'm gonna go make some calls i was gonna say that sounded crazy to me because I did not remember that was a line from succession um I feel like I'm messing it up fuck it doesn't matter you guys get the you guys get what I'm saying come on um next to yourself from bringing a giant bag everywhere with me to then suddenly I'm like oh I'm just wearing maybe I had a backpack on but still like a fanny pack slash backpack situation keep hands free oh my god i felt so i felt like i felt free it is incredibly freeing to be like it is amazing i have everything i need on my body but i can i can jump i can clap like i can i can jump i could probably do a somersault like i need to do most

are jumping and clapping and so now that's like i have the freedom to that without being like did you wear one when you went to universal recently uh i wore a backpack because which is in many ways just a big fanny pack um i guess because it was raining and but it was also sunny and so i had a raincoat rain jacket I had sunscreen I had bottled water I had umbrella and so that's where fanny pack you can't um it's not gonna cut it but had it not been that kind of day I would have been rocking the fanny pack of course yeah I often what I'll do right if I'm in a situation where it's like I have too much stuff and I can't fit it in the fanny pack I'll do the fanny pack and the bagu. The crossbody. The crossbody and the fanny pack at the same time.

Can you believe? You're crazy. That's fucking bonkers. But I do it. Should we get into it? Well, I think you're forgetting something. Oh, my God. Then you have to set it because you remembered Acoogsworth.

Acoogsworth? I think this one is going to be Acoogswith. I think it's going to be our most, I feel like we've done Nostalgic 15 times and Wistful even more. But I want to say Acoogswith. Acoogswith. Always broken. Acoogswith. Acoogswith.

I think it's going to be our most. Gleeful? No. You you're always yours are so violent remma said gleeful oh i thought you said i thought you said lethal no but gleeful is pretty violent honestly gleeful but like capital g gleeful like yes as in pertaining to the program yes gleeful gleeful most gleeful episode yet most glee filled we'll take a break we'll come back with fanny pack reviews and we're back this is to go ahead and be for large crossbody fanny pack with four zipper pocket gifts for enjoy sports festival workout traveling,

running casual hands, free wallets, waist pack, phone bag, fits all phones. SEO goes crazy on that one. This is for Cliff B. Cliff Bar. Cliff Bar. What flavor? cliff b cliff bar cliff bar what flavor chocky chip just kidding oatmeal raisin oatmeal raisin really okay uh from cliff bar how many stars one star oh shit crap i bought this to carry lots of money to buy a car out of state. The buckle came loose.

It fell off my body, and I almost lost all my money. All right. Thank you for coming down to the station today, Mr. Barr. We really appreciate it. I know you got a lot of stuff going on. Obviously, we're going to cut right to the chase. You know why you're here. We saw your Amazon reviews and that mixed with the various emails that we were able to obtain.

Yes. I'm glad we're getting to the bottom of this. Yeah. It does feel like we caught you on the brink of some illegal activity. You do have a history of petty theft, but also veering on white collar crime. You have started to launder some funds from multiple businesses. Don't know how you did that. You look surprised, Mr. Bones.

I'm shocked. Sorry, I thought when you did that. You look surprised, Mr. Barber. I'm shocked. Sorry, I thought... When you asked me to come down here, I thought it was because we were going to get to the bottom of this bag situation. The bag... Oh, well, that's...

I mean, it is the bag situation. Right, like the facts. We are talking about the same thing. I mean, criminally poor quality. You can agree. Mr. Barber, please do not right a buckle has what one job and that's to stay buckled and mr barb please do not no funny business with me all right we're here to get to the bottom of this listen do not deflect from the situation at hand

do you have any evidence i did something illegal you I do have some evidence of the money laundering that you'd been doing in the fall of 22. Okay. Just kind of statute of limitations. I think I'm good on that. And you have left a kind of paper trail, as it were, on the internet saying that you were going to go buy a car in cash out of state. Is that a crime? With a lot of cash. Is that a crime?

No, it's not a crime. Okay, so I don't see what the issue is. But it does feel like you are running from certain crimes and that's why we brought you in today. Okay. Am I under arrest? I guess technically no,

you're not under arrest. Am I free to leave? I guess if technically you can... We'd like to ask you some more questions. Okay, I'm sorry, but I only know one word. And that word is lawyer. Cut to a meeting with his lawyer. Thanks for coming on short notice.

Cliff, buddy, of course course anything for my main man no what's the trouble cliffy baby so they brought me in for voluntary questioning about um you know the money laundering and the car thing really hung up on the car i thought statute of limitations on that was uh so did i but turns out statute of limitations on that was uh so did i but turns out statute of limitations on money laundering is more than two years um i know i didn't realize that so apparently we're still in the uh yeah no kind of your job i thought to know anyway uh and uh but the car thing they're really hung up on the car thing which is like obviously um kind of no bueno for me because um obviously you know the the car was, I was planning to use it, you know, for my.

Oh, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. I don't want to hear it. But I think it might be easier if I tell you. No, because no, because then if I know, then I'm an accomplice. Because some lawyers want to know the whole story. You're not an accomplice, you're my lawyer. You have immunity. If you tell me, then I'll no and then i'll have to lie and that's my whole thing i'm doing illegal monster

truck shows the car is going to be crushed in an illegal monster truck show i'm sorry but i just feel like you need to know the whole story if you're gonna fucking like represent me so honestly right now is voluntary questioning i think we're okay but i wanted you to know that like that's a possibility that like they actually get the evidence to arrest me okay well the thing is cliff i really wish you hadn't told me you're because they want me to meet with the chief of police right now. Are you under arrest? No, they brought me in for questions. You don't have to say anything. But now I, I know I don't have to, but my conscience,

oh God, this is gonna be bad. Cut to the meeting. Hey, thank you so much for coming in. Take a seat. Oh, yeah. The hot seat, more like. I mean, no, I'm happy to sit.

I'm sorry. Sorry, Mr. Johnson. This is a purely, this is an informal meeting. You know, nothing. This is not, you are not being compelled to be here. You know, you don't have to say anything you don't want to say. We just want to take your temperature on a couple things. Okay. Okay. I don't have to say anything you don't want to say. We just want to take your temperature on a couple things. Okay. I don't have to say anything I don't want?

No, absolutely not. This is totally informal, and if you would, I mean, I know you're a lawyer, but if you would like representation yourself, you're more than welcome to, you know, procure that. That being said, my first question for you is, your client, Mr. Barr,

says here, has he said anything to you about what that car yeah he has yeah about what that car was gonna be for he said it he said okay i know you're not again this isn't i don't want to like this is being recorded but you are not compelled to answer this next question okay okay? You are totally within your right to remain silent. Wait, before you ask, this is really hard for me, Chief, because I want to do right by you, but I also want to do right by my guy. Honestly, Mr. Johnson, I would say your first responsibility is to your client. If I were you, I would not answer these questions.

Really? So it's okay? Yeah, I would keep your mouth shut tight. Fantastic. Can do. Okay, so what did he buy the car for? I don't know. Now, is that true? No. What was it for?

Well, you just... I feel like you're putting me in an impossible position. You just don't answer if you don't want to. But you said it's okay if I don't. Right, but it would help me a lot if you did don't want to but you said it's okay if i don't right but it would help me a lot if you did i know but you said that my my number one concern that i should be most loyal to okay okay you don't have to answer if you don't want to here's let's do a little exercise i'm gonna say some things he might have bought the car for okay and if one of them sounds right or close to right, you just, you know, maybe you say yes.

But I don't have to and that's okay if I don't. But you don't, obviously you don't have to. Obviously you don't have to. And you think it's better if I don't. Yes. For Cliff. For Cliff. I mean, your primary response, like, if this whole thing goes down, you could get disbarred.

I mean, that's a serious, like, that could certainly happen. This is, you're violating attorney-client privilege in a way that's totally unnecessary okay okay so was it for smuggling drugs okay was it for smuggling guns no so the drugs was closer but the guns is a no oh i, I thought you said trucks. Trucks. Okay. So it was for something to do with trucks. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I just, I misheard.

It definitely is not drugs. Okay, great. Or guns. But it is trucks. Was he going to use it to, I don't know, steal trucks? To do a crime with trucks? No. God, no.

He would never. I'm, like, honestly offended that you think I would even associate with anyone who would do something like that. I'm struggling to think what he could have been doing with trucks that was illegal. Can I go? Can you give me a hint? Oh, monster. it would really help. Monster. Was he going to steal a bunch of energy drinks?

No, definitely not. He doesn't. He's never even touched caffeine. He's very Mormon. Oh, I didn't know that about him. Um, was it for, I don't know, know was he gonna sell it like to like a monster truck rally and not pay the like sales tax on like was he not gonna list it as an asset come on dick johnson you're better than this come on it was for illegal monster trucks. I never said that. God, we would never have gotten there without you.

That is so far off what we thought it was. But I never. No, but you could have gotten there without me because I didn't say shit. It's barely illegal, but I'm sure we'll find a way to charge him. I didn't say shit. And you can't prove that in court. And you knew about this? No, of course.

You didn't tell anybody? I didn't want to. I didn't want to. I didn't want to tell anybody. He told me and I covered my ears and my fingies. I said, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. I didn't want him to tell me. You didn't ask for immunity. This could really come back on you, buddy.

Wait, he's just thrashing. But you said I had immunity. Mr. Johnson, Mr. Johnson, please settle down. I don't want to be disbarred. You're not going to be disbarred. You said. had immunity. Mr. Johnson, Mr. Johnson, please settle down. I don't want to be disbarred. You're not going to be disbarred. You said. How about this?

Obviously, you've gotten yourself in quite a predicament. You just tell me everything he told you. Write it down, even, if that's easier. It's not for me. Okay, yeah, that makes sense. I pinky promise that nothing will happen to you. You won't get disbarred.

You won't go to jail. Nothing will happen. Okay? You pinky promise double swear. If it will make you more comfortable, I can have somebody else

come into the room and you can tell them because I feel like I'm kind of scary. Okay. You know what? Maybe it'd be nice to have someone in the room so then they can make sure you're not crossing any yeah office officer jessica you want to come in here you can use my last name everyone else goes by their last name like officer pike

officer you know john uh brown you can say o'leary it's okay i just okay um yeah i can do that sorry it's just an adjustment for an old timer like me uh officer lear o'leary yes would you come in here please i'm already in but thank you yes all right so just to catch you up um now mr johnson that's i'll have none of that please yeah would you please um this nice this nice young lady is gonna be here and she's gonna make sure that nothing happens the way it shouldn't right absolutely that is my job very seriously officer o'leary is not on my side or your side she's totally she's totally totally like but i want someone to be on my side okay i thought you said that she was coming in to be on my side sure officer brown officer brown can you come in here yeah are you gonna, would you please be on Mr. Johnson's side for this?

Oh, yeah, I can be on Mr. Johnson's side. Okay, fantastic. Oh, thank God, we're even Stevens now. Well, it doesn't feel like it, does it? Because Officer Brown's on your side, and Officer O'Leary's in the middle, but who's on my side, right? You don't need anyone. You've got the law on your side. Oh, well, that's very flattering, but

I think... Officer Pike! Will you come in here? Yeah! Okay, Officer Pike, will you be on my team? Always, honey. Alright. I love that all of my officers are women of different

ages. Yes. Us too. It feels like one happy family. It does feel like I'm the dad and these are all my kids. Sorry, so absurd. Mr. Johnson, will you please, now that we've got everybody... I actually, sorry, I really don't like you

I didn't like it, I didn't like it either I couldn't decide I don't want to say Mr. Officer Pike sent me up for that, but it felt like I anyway, Mr. Johnson we're just having fun here, you can see everybody's laughing, we're having a good time

you be the daddy, I be the mommy Mr. Johnson, we're just having fun here. You can see everybody's laughing. We're having a good time. What did you know? You be the daddy. I be the mommy. That was the part that bothered me the most. What did you know and when did you know it? Okay. Just want to make sure. Do an Italian.

Officer O'Leary's on my side. No. Middle. Middle. Oh, God. That's right. Brown is on your side. Pike is on my side. Okay. Officer Brown's on your side pike is on my side okay officer brown's on my side yes officer o'leary

is the middle media i don't know if i believe that because you guys are all wearing the same thing oh officer o'leary do you mind changing is that weird that's weird okay okay i knew oh fuck uh i'll change would it help if i changed mr johnson yeah okay i have a sweatsuit everybody close your eyes no no you have to do it in another room so far okay fine i'll go do it in the bathroom two minutes later it's just back okay sweatsuit time okay mr johnson what did you know and when did you know it okay hold on really quick tally again oh leary's in the middle correct like malcolm just brown is on my side like do we pike is the mommy like lois and you're the daddy how okay and nothing bad's gonna happen to me at all nothing's gonna happen at all nothing bad's gonna happen to me at all nothing

bad is gonna happen to you at all cliff told me that he was gonna use the money for illegal monster truck racing i think he was gonna buy a car drop it off there i don't know what he was planning to do with the rest of the money that's ultimately all i know i do know about the money laundering from 22 i thought the statute of limitations was fully done by now, but apparently it lasts more than two years. And I asked him not to tell me about this. And he said, no, you're my lawyer. You should know. And I was covering my ears going, but he told me anyway. And that's all I know. And when I knew, and he did tell me about an hour ago. All righty. Thank you so much for your honesty.

Officer Leary, would you like to do the honors and arrest this man? Wait, but she's not. She's in the middle. We're allowed to lie. Why am I in trouble? Because that's our job. To find ways to get everybody in trouble. And you're the bad baby.

Yeah. You, I don't really like that phrasing of it, but yeah, you did a crime, so. But yeah, you're the bad baby. I mean, ultimately, you are the bad baby. Okay, this is for ikendo fanny pack for men women crossbody waist bag belt bag for travel walking running hiking cycling easy carry any phone wallet black so it's the it's the black one okay thank you for telling me that really helps my it actually it actually is helps for this review i'm a visual learner so uh you only get a first name so you get to make up the last name the first name is bufador um bufador uh-huh okay um bufa bufadors are bufa door bufa doors lead to the outside

bufa doors bufa these doors bufa nope no because it has to be bufa door i'll get it i have a better one i have a better one um bufa doors lead outside no i know this one's better this one's better okay so it's like it's gonna be to be last name, comma, first name. What color is your hat? Bufador. What? Bufadora. Bufadora.

I think I shouldn't have had all that fucking coffee, man. Bufador, comma, what color is your hat? Jesus Christ. Five stars. Superstar. The title is A Traveler's Must Have. You can pack practically all your home essentials. The black color makes it like a shadow on you.

Wait, that's beautiful. That's it. Wait wait that's fucking beautiful the black color makes it a shadow what the fuck are you talking about i guess so if you're wearing all black people don't notice you even have a bag because it's like a shadow i don't think so i think it's like if you're wearing clothes that aren't black. If you're wearing like cult, like. Yes, the black makes it look like a shadow. Like it's just a shadow. I don't know if that would work.

I've never heard of anyone describing like black anything on you being like, well, it looks like a shadow's on you. I've never even heard the phrase. It looks like a shadow on you. That is, I've never even heard the phrase it looks like a shadow on you that is i've never heard that who looks in the mirror and they don't realize that it's like another that it's their reflection they think it's another cat you know what i mean it's just like what's that i don't know if it's that what is that a shadow what a shadow is that a shadow i don't understand i don't understand your um analogy i guess it's fair yeah i guess it

didn't really make sense no walk no no i don't feel comfortable on you it's like a cat looking in a mirror well i guess it's like i guess like the only real link there is like okay she's drinking a bottle of wine straight out of the bottle um what is that sparkling water it's just water oh sparkling or still bottled still okay it's like i'm at a restaurant in europe um no but i think generally the thing with the cat that i was saying is it's like oh fuck how do i get there um it's a disconnect in perception right like you see one thing and you don't realize that it's another do i get there um it's a disconnect in perception right like you see one thing and you don't realize that it's another no i get that right like that feels but that feels different than oh you have a shadow on you okay how about i gave another one it's like

peter pan vibes because like he has the shadow that follows him that is the most analogous one to one versus it's like a cat looking in a mirror. I think it was. I think listeners at home, you know what I meant by the cat thing, right? It's like you being the cool. Sound off. But that feels different. That feels like, whoa, is that me?

That's like, that feels different than. Whoa, is that a shadow? Yeah. I can see how you would think that. It's a high school. it's a high school theater department doing a production of peter pan having a production meeting so yeah um thank you guys for meeting with me during your study hall period um so um basically we pretty much are all set for the show. I just was wondering if anyone had some good ideas for how we might do Peter's shadow. Oh, oh my God.

I, well, sorry. I just chiming in. I know you guys didn't necessarily invite me to this, but I feel like as Peter Pan, like I feel like I know this is like a design and production meeting um but i feel like no one knows peter better than well peter no and i think that's that's valuable insight to have you here you're right you weren't invited and and and i'm not sure you got permission to be here um from your teacher but either way you're here now and i think you're the one who's going to ultimately whatever you know contraption or solution we come up with for the shadow you're going to be the one who's engaging with it so i think it is important to have you here exactly

thank you so much mrs k for saying no no no you go yeah and i was just wondering like um brian you're going to be running lights do you have any idea you know shadow feels very light you know that's kind of your world do you have any ideas um yeah uh my whole thing was i actually had a um i have a stencil cut out of aaron's body and so i was going to use that to cast shadow like from a lighting perspective so it would literally be like your full makeup your your measurements and everything how How did you get that? Oh, Aaron, he offered it voluntarily. Okay.

He kind of did the, yeah, no, honestly. And thank you so much for saying that, Brian. And again, I know that you didn't ask for that. I know you didn't say, hey, can I have your measurements? But I, and I didn't even know it was going to be for the light thing. I just, and actually Mrs. K, you should have my measurements in your inbox. It might have gone to spam from the student email, but I did send my full measurements, a full traced outline. Okay, well, I think that's a really good idea, Brian. Since we're talking about measurements, Casey, do you have any thoughts on costume?

Like, what, what, like, because of course, there's sort of probably a costume element to this. Yeah, thank you for saying that, Mrs. K. So, Brian, I love that idea of the, like, working with shadow and working with light. I will say, sometimes it's not going to look the best in every, you know, every scene has a different lighting design. And so I wanted to, from a costuming perspective, we actually, so funny enough,

Aaron sent me his measurements as well, which I already had because I'm in costumers. That probably makes the most sense yeah that's a lot more normal um and so i was thinking that we could have like um almost like kind of like a mesh uh stencil of his body of shadow and that can kind of maybe be attached with magnets or something so we could put it at the bottom of his feet we could put it on the back of his clothes. I love, I mean, that seems really, you know, if it worked, it sounds really fantastic. You know, I do wonder logistically how doable that is, but I think it's a really wonderful idea. And I also want to say, Casey, I want to say, I know that I've been trying to teach you guys, you know, like how production meetings work in the real world, in the equity theater. Yeah.

I want to say that pandering to the actor's ego is a really important part of being any designer. And you did a wonderful job there of really, well, really making it seem like you thought his idea was good. And so I just want to say, really good job on that. I just wanted to highlight that. Now- Well, that was my idea. No, I, I don't, sorry, can I chime in again?

And this is Aaron talking. This isn't Petereter talking uh thank you for clarifying that i um i have a lot of ideas that's great for this that's great now rebecca um a set design do you um do you have any thoughts because again i, the shadow project, you know, I can see so many solutions. No, it can, there can be a lot of solutions to this. Mrs. K, I don't know necessarily if it's going to be in the set design. Okay, that's interesting. So that is, and, but that's, that's where, you know,

I feel like it's going to be more, you know what? I will say, I'm going to backtrack. I'm going to backtrack, Mrs. K, because I will say, I wonder if there's something that lighting and I can do together in a collab of making sure that we have the kind of design for set that the shadow will be able to appear better

on a flat surface versus seeing how that translates along the space. That's really interesting because I was having maybe a thought, just hearing you guys talk about this made me hearing you guys talk about this is so inspiring made me think of an idea um which is sort of combine all of these ideas where like maybe we have like a a shiv a skim or a scrim and it's like a thing it's a scrim mrs k i know and it's a thin piece of fabric

it's just you didn't say it at first it's a thin piece of fabric. Well, it's just you didn't say it at first. It's a thin piece of fabric. And then we backlight it. Right? And then we have another actor back there mirroring, you know, Peter's movements. I'm just going to chime in here. Right? And so then it's like, and it's a great way to get somebody else involved.

Hey, Mrs. K, could you please stop talking? I'm actually going to chime in. And Matthew actually has a very similar body. Hey, no, no, no, no, no. Mrs please stop talking i'm actually gonna chime in hey no no no mrs k um i'm gonna chime in and this is again this is aaron it's not peter talking um we don't need that we don't need that and by we i actually do mean aaron and peter it's both of us talking right now we don't need that because i i'm enough right now I do want to say Aaron I want to say we all sat here and listened very

patiently to your ideas very open minded to any of my ideas well you weren't invited to this meeting to begin with and I you know just want to say that maybe hold space like before you deny an idea out of hand maybe think about it for a second but i take

what you're saying to heart um i love that idea mrs k i think that could be really fun because it could incorporate everyone i mean it's like there's literally no way that that could not be good thank you and i think matthew has been doing such a good job in the ensemble and i just think you know well he's one of the lost boys but i think he would be really good for this and he's getting lost on stage i'll tell you he's got no presence he is a lie honestly i disagree i forget he's a lost boy because he's such a lost boy okay feels like you're reaching um i um he's getting lost on stage he doesn't have the gravitas that you need to be a lost boy or

on stage at all for that matter I I I I hear you and I happen to disagree um and I do think that you know we don't we don't tear other actors down Aaron that's no oh my god no but no I completely agree we do not tear other actors down but matthew is not an actor so it's not actually even like i'm tearing another actor down because it's like i wouldn't quantify what he's doing is acting he's just kind of standing no i know he's a singer first and this is his first time and he's barely doing that i happen to disagree and and and so does mr wilson um the choir teacher so i think i meant he's barely standing okay i think he actually i don't know if you knew this but he used to be a dancer as well

he has a background in dance um and so i think he would actually be a wonderful fit for the movement requirement of peter shadow so i i put a measurement uh mrs k and this is not even me just like well study hall is wrapping up here. So I think we've all discussed some really good ideas going forward. I think these ideas are awesome, Mrs. K. And I think we could maybe today at rehearsal, we can bring Matthew in and maybe do some mirroring exercises with Aaron to see if we can get the ball rolling. It is so complex and advanced. I happen to disagree.

You, Mrs. K, I know you and I disagree about a lot, but you cannot. You really struggled during our Le Bon unit last semester. You know, I think when I was telling you to do, like, indirect, you know, you really didn't seem to get the concept. So, you know, I just think. Mrs. get the concept um so you know i just think can i have a moment alone with you please of course can we have the room thank you designers

what is it aaron am i in trouble i'm just disappointed in you that's all from what what did I do? I've done nothing but a stellar job as the lead of the show. Can I be transparent with you, Erin? Yes. I've never had an actor like you in the program. Thank you. You are incredibly talented.

Thank you so much. It means the world to hear you say that. I think you genuinely are Broadway talent. Oh my God. Mrs. K, thank you. I know. I think you genuinely are Broadway talent. Oh my God. Mrs. K, thank you. I know. But I think because of your attitude,

you will never get any work. I think if you take this seriously and you really want to make a career out of this, you can. You take it seriously. Okay. You do take it seriously. Okay, I hear you that.

But you are, and I've been doing this a long time. I've seen a lot of kids come through here i it has been a long time since i've seen an actor as hated as matthew as you your wendy physically recoils from your touch that's acting nope wendy's supposed to like peter remember we went over that no but it's like she's trying something out. Well, she's been trying it out every rehearsal since we started. So something tells me she's not just trying it out, okay?

She's not that good of an actor. Well, you don't have to tell me twice. No, I know. And I told you before we chose this show that, you know, it was going to be a struggle to find you a Wendy. But I don't feel like you're holding your side of the bargain. What are you talking about? I'm at rehearsal on time every day.

All my lines are memorized. Yes, but you are so- And like you said, I'm Broadway talent. Aaron, you are so, so annoying. But that's not, but that's not not me holding up my part of the deal. Aaron, I think I've taught you everything I can about acting. Well, it's because I'm so good. Obviously, the movement piece.

There's nothing more for me to learn. The movement piece, right? There's a lack of coordination there. But that's, you can't teach that. No, and I think it's your age, right? You're still getting used to your puberty. Your body is growing. And I think what I can teach you is how to be a better person and how to have more grace.

So please, for me, for the sake of the show, for the sake of your castmates, be a little bit less of a dick. Stop shitting on other people's ideas. You can't cuss to me mrs k aaron i'm three years to retirement i can do whatever the fuck i like the amount of goodwill i've built up at the school board over the years you know i don't get paid extra for doing the shows i teach all day long and then i'm in rehearsal all night i come in on the weekends i work my ass off for this department choose to do that of course i choose to do it i love it it's the one of the greatest joys of my life but you know i make 39k a year

i'm just doing different job this is exactly what i'm talking about aaron you i it is what i'm saying there are two kinds of reality right there are two kinds of gifted actor aaron there are those that are so incredibly empathetic right their imagination is so broad that they're able to put themselves in the shoes of anybody right that they can they can even the most evil character right they can play you know a nazi and they can and they can whoa i'm just saying no but that's a real role that people have to play and they can put themselves in that mindset and they can find the motivation there. And then there are actors who are sociopaths. And they spend their whole day and their whole life outside of a theater pretending to have emotions. And they become so convincing that that translates.

That's Matthew for sure. No, Aaron, it's you. I think it's Matthew to a T. You have no empathy, son. But I'm good. I never denied that. But I'm scared of you. And I'm scared for you.

Because I think if you don't make it on Broadway, you'll start killing women. Start? Aaron. Aaron. Do we have time for one more? Aaron, you're joking, right right i think you'll start killing women do you have time for one quick one yeah i can do a quick one this is from the same one love ass alfred love ass oh that's love ass sorry it's the same one that you did first? Yes, the same brand.

The fucking hands-free vote. Love sucks. You heard it here first. Love sucks. One star. Love sucks. Horrible smell. I ordered the black bag, and it smells absolutely revolting.

I have washed it three times, let it dry in the sun twice, and the smell is still there. It is a smell similar to cat urine. If it was not for the smell, I would give this bag five stars. Unfortunately, I cannot get the smell out, so I will not be able to use it in the future. Wish I could get a replacement to see if it has the same smell, but I do not want to risk it.

Listen, Ian, I really I think I'm falling in love with you. I do. I think I see myself beginning to fall in love with you as well. I think I see myself beginning to fall in love. You know what? Hell, I'll say it.

I'm in love with you, Ian. I really am. And I'm on the road to beginning to think that I could maybe one day be in love with you. And I appreciate that. And I get that. No, it's moving very fast. maybe one day be in love with you. And I appreciate that. And I get that. No, it's moving very fast. And we've only been dating, you know, a month or two. It's moving quickly.

But you are everything that I'm looking for. And then some. You are a pediatrician. You love dogs. You have a great relationship with your family. You're kind. You're smart. You're dogs. You have a great relationship with your family. You're kind. You're smart. You're funny.

You are crazy in the sack. Hung. And you're hung like a horse. Bigger than some horses. Yes. And, my God, did I mention pediatrician? Like, you're great with kids. You're a doctor.

And you are so rich. So much money. I barely know what to do with it all. I know. away to charity right yes you do i and i can see myself spending right off the side right now i can see myself spending oh that's so noble i can see myself spending the rest of my life with you growing old having kids grandkids wow and i see but that path is just starting out as well maybe thank you but there's one thing that's just stopping me from leaping into your arms and asking you to run away with me the fact i still live with my ex right no even that is fine because it shows that you care and that you care about her big stumbling block for a lot of people no that's

not even the thing that's upsetting me is it the is it the fact i smoke you know what alcohol the new cigarettes, weed's the new alcohol. So I don't even mind that. Okay, cool. You smell like shit. Yeah. So you know.

Yes. And I don't mean like, oh, you smell bad. No, I know. You smell like human shit. I know. And it's not because I'm a doctor. No, I know that. I know. Because you need to scrub up like doctors are clean incredible i and i am i mean you've seen every inch of my body i'm very i know you you i so i don't i don't

understand i don't understand i i don't expect you to um so you're aware keenly because i didn't know if it's like if you'd smell like that your whole life then it's like you wouldn't be able to smell not my whole life like that your whole life no march oh five can we get another um i'll take another iced americano thank you so much and i'll have a can i have that ham and cheese? Croissant. March of 5. What happened in March of 5? Look, I really... Is it a disease?

No, it's not. I'm perfectly healthy. Actually, extremely healthy. And I'm always running marathons. And I see myself on the road in the very early stages, the very first steps of seeing myself one day begin to imagine a life together. Thank you. And so you deserve to know the truth. Oh, thank you.

Croissant. Delicious. Oh, my gosh. It tastes like swamp water. Can't wait to fucking. I'm so hydrated, though. your p is clear um but i it's pretty vulnerable what i'm about to tell you no please listen you are the man i love i don't want to give you the wrong impression i've dated a lot and a lot of women and men

that's right i'm bi have i know that's fine and a lot of the people i've dated have got to this stage and either the shit smell is too much and they leave or i tell them the reason and that makes them leave well how about you just tell me now and we'll see which one it is because i love you i don't want to leave you but you do it's the reeking of human shit day and night is it's a lot for a gal or anybody to handle anybody because i get it you're bi yeah And I know like a lot of younger people, you know, they shy away from that word. They prefer pan. But for me. I know what you mean.

For me. Right. My generation. Bi feels right. It feels right to you because it's not like you're excluded. You know, it's like I. Obviously, I don't see gender as a binary. But.

Yes. So. But I do see the binary of either you smell like... And that is a binary. Or you smell like human shit. That's one of a few of God's... One of life's binaries. God's great binary. And I am Christian as well, which I know you love about me.

But not like crazy. You know what I mean? No, you're... Yeah. You love like the kind of christian i am and we don't need to drill into what that is but you i know that you love that about me i know like i said i love every single aspect of you except the human shit i know so i remember on our third date we were talking about our travels and yes i mentioned that i studied abroad in yeah quebec yes montreal well in 2005 while i was studying abroad i one day i met a girl at a bar um her name was jessica and we went home together and the rest you can

imagine fill in the blanks and she i don't want to i don't like imagining you with other people i know but i've been with many i know you have And I love that about you because you have such a seasoned past. She revealed something to me. She's a witch. Yes. Sorry, I don't know why I'm saying that. Wait, what? Yes, she's a witch.

You're the only one who's ever gotten that. That's crazy. And she said to me, she said to me, I see your true self. And I can cast a spell right now that will make you rich hung like a horse so you weren't like this before no i was a very average very average in looks skill intelligence girth length all of it and she said i can give you everything you've ever dreamed you can become the perfect man i was straight and she said i can give you everything you've dreamed i wanted to lower your religious beliefs beforehand oh i, super, like, did not believe.

And she said, I know you wish you were bi. I know you wish you were hung like a horse. I know you wish you were a Christian, but, like, the kind that, you know, a girl would like. And she said, I can give you all this if you want it, but there's a trade-off. There's always a price. Magic always has a price. And I thought, firstborn, son,

or maybe I die young, or something. Yeah. She said none of that. She said, you'll only have daughters, because she knows I want to be a girl dad. She said, you'll live to 88, because she knows that wait this is the price no this is part of the good

stuff still oh okay she said you'll live to 88 years old because i know that's like the sweet spot for you of death and i said you don't want to be in your 90s no it seems a little desperate and she said i can give you all this and the price you're gonna smell like really nasty human shit every day for the rest of your life and it doesn't matter how much you shower how much cologne you put on every person you meet will be like holy shit you're incredible but why do you smell like that so and there was another caveat too um because immediately you know what i'm thinking yeah find a girl with long covid right can't smell of course no of course and this is 2005 she gave me advanced knowledge of covid she also yeah i can see like the future not super

clearly kind of like that's a raven um so i did know the pandemic just kind of flashes right and so i did know the pandemic would happen and i did know a symptom would be loss of smell but i didn't know when it was gonna happen so that was i see i see so kind of like it almost didn't even count useless but i knew that there would be a section of the population that would permanently lose their sense of smell yeah um or for whom everything would smell like shit regardless so either way that's a win for me she said i wasn't allowed to date those people and it's proved true um they can't actually see me um i've met several women with anosmia and they just they don't hear me they don't see me it's it's a strange experience but it's a rare enough occurrence it doesn't really bother me

but so that's the truth and a lot of people have heard that and they, well, they leave. They think I'm joking. They think it's too much. It threatens their belief system. Like, how can you be a Christian and also believe in a witch? And it's like, I can. I have a contained multitude. And that's part of what I love about you.

Sitting here, just a beautiful bi man, hung like a horse, rich as hell, a Christian marathon runner. Pediatrician. Pediatrician, lest we forget. Who lives with his ex. Always give money to charity, and yet I still have more of it. And I live with my ex. And you live with your ex. Because I really care about her as a person.

And? more of it. And I live with my ex because I really care about her as a person. And I'm asking you You smell like human shit. As that person, will you be the one who sees through

this shit? Ian, I have a question for you in return i will answer your question with another question shoot you know throughout this whole conversation i'll take another ice americano please thank you more croissant she also said i have to eat way more than like a normal person would have to eat to sustain themselves. Like 14,000 calories a day. Like a crazy amount. That's why I drink butter every morning. That's a lot. And yet, look at you. You are... I know, that's crazy.

And I will live to 88. Throughout this whole conversation, and hearing about the witch, and the shit, and hung, and being bi and Christian. What you have continued to say that's putting me off more than the shit is that, well, I am in love with you

fully and truly. All caps. I'll scream it from the rooftops. I love Ian Waters. I do, and I'm not afraid to say it. But the man, the beautiful, hung-by Christian doctor who's sitting across from me, who does smell like human shit. Rich.

Says that, and he's so rich, says that he's maybe on the way to potentially thinking about one day kind of falling in love with me. Yeah. And that's what's tripping me up. So. Well. Wait, please. Okay. Ian.

I said my piece. I'll let you speak. You've asked, you've asked me. That's another thing the witch gave me was the ability to listen to women. I couldn I said my piece. I'll let you speak. You've asked me. That's another thing the witch gave me was the ability to listen to women. I couldn't do that before. Yes. Because I was just a normal man.

You've asked me if I'm the one who could see through all of the smell of shit. And I'm asking you, am I your one? Because if you can answer me right now, if you tell me that I am the love of your life,

if you can see into the future and see us together, if you see that I am the one, then yes, I can smell past the human shit. I can see past that. I can smell past that. I'll figure it out. But if you don't feel that way about me, then what are we doing here? I'll be honest.

You know, when I first met you, I thought she's poor. She's straight. She certainly doesn't run marathons. She doesn't live with her ex she fucking hates all her exes yes she has well a really bad job that like pays poorly and seems evil and i'm not i'm buddhist and you're buddhist which is i don't know why you want a christian boyfriend so bad but it's not just about that apparently not and i thought maybe you weren't the one for me but okay then maybe i should i love you

i've always loved you what since the before conversation. Before I knew that you would be okay with the shit thing. Please. Then why were you... Because I wouldn't want you to feel obligated to be with me. Because of the shit? No, because I said I love you. Oh. Thank you.

Another croissant would be excellent. Another Americano, not iced. Thank you. Ha? Yes. Weird. Ian. Mysterious. Thank you you i love that so you do think i'm the one yes

then ian i i am your one i will smell past the human shit oh my god i will smell past the human shit I will smell past it On everything It's you and me Together Witch You can come out now I did it I finally got one I finally got someone

So you can get rid of the curse now Oh no no no You said you said if I can ever convince someone to be with me despite the shit smell, that the shit smell would go away. You said that was a part of the deal. And she just said, you heard her. She just said. What's happening? Shut up.

What's happening? Shut up. She said you heard her say that, right, witch? Jessica, I'm serious. You forgot one part of the curse no fucking way I forgot is that you're not allowed to curse

you said fuck a couple times and that was you can't curse on the curse and that means our job is done okay I'll fucking re-download tinder I'll find another one.

Wait, what's happening? What the fuck? I'm sorry. You did so good. It's literally my fault. It's literally my fault. But I love you. I know, but you suck.

You're not a good fit for me. We're like so incompatible. Why would I be with you? Yeah, honey. You better cut your losses and get out of here bitch you want like 30k sure there you go your tinder bio is doctor by christian does not smell like shit if i say smells like shit in the bio they never show up they never show up let's do our last segment

this shook me all week long all week long boop boop boop boop boop I want to be on Amazing Race so bad really I've never watched I love it I want to be on it

and I think you and I would actually be great is that true yes can you give me like a rundown like what is it why would we be good at it so amazing race is um i think there's like 10 i forget how many duos there are but it's like okay um however many pairs maybe 10 to 12 pairs of people and it's a race around the world so it's like for this current season they start in la and then it's just a bunch of series of um challenges where it's like okay you have x amount of your backpacking and it's like okay you have x amount of money now you have to go from you know you have to uh you have to do this challenge and then the first four groups to get through that challenge they they get the earlier flight from LAX to Singapore. And then the other four are two hours behind and

you get to Singapore. And then it's like, there's roadblock. You have to do one of two challenges. And it's like, one may seem easier or harder, whatever. One, it could be like, you know, you have to learn this cultural dance, but you have to do it perfectly in rhythm. And then you have a judge doing it. And then the other one is like an endurance thing. Like you have to get a really intense massage. That's very painful painful and you have to do the whole thing like it's just a bunch of different all the challenges are like um based in kind of like where you are or like the culture where you are or like the goings on where you are like they'll go to uh the swiss alps and they'll have to like do some kind of hiking thing

or sometimes they'll have to bungee jump which i would not want to do and and you could decide which of the pairs has to do okay well that's where you and i would that's where that would be really tricky for us um but anyway the couples it can be estranged father and daughter who were brought together by the show it can be newlyweds it can be twins twins. It can be childhood best friends. It's like all of these different kinds of pairs doing the race. And whoever gets, it's like, you know, let's say there's 10 couples in the race. It's like if you arrive at the mat last, wherever it's like the next meeting point is, then you're out of the race. Oh, shit. And it's fun because you can detour people. Basically, it's like, or I'all you can like you can um detour people basically

it's like or i forget if it's a roadblock or detour people but anyway it's like you know if you get to a certain part of the race first you can choose so you don't have to be you can choose to be like oh i'm gonna like this couple is by big competition i'm gonna make them do both of the challenges instead of just doing one it's a u-turn that's what it is you can u-turn people um so anyway i think you'd like it it's it's more of just like adventure travel cultural show than it is like um strictly competition yeah yeah uh because it's like you're really competing against yourself and other people you are actually doing having to like beat them in time and certain things um but do you think we would need to like lie and say that we were like an estranged father daughter or like um do you think just like friends would cut it i think friends would cut it i feel

like we may i think we could either make it to like the top five or we'd go out pretty quickly but we'd make for some fun tv do you think there's a world where if i shaved my head people could think you were my kid no you don't think there's any world where i could look old enough and you could look young enough no no i think we could do it i do not think so i think how funny would it be if we showed it's the race? It's like production everyone knows. And even like our backstory package is like, these two best friends who met in college, like improv together.

But we are telling everyone, like we're calling each other father and daughter. I like very clearly have like some spirit gum. Like old person in a high school play makeup. All of our interviews is like, I think we're fooling them. And they're like, what about the race? Oh, fuck fuck that i think people actually think that we are we're gonna get away with it we're gonna we're gonna make people think i think that would be so great

you're pretending to be like 13 it's like i don't know why they're going for such why is he pretending to be 60 and she's pretending to be 13 that's so unnecessary she could just be her normal age if he's 60 and if she's 13 he could be like 40 i have like a high school musical backpack on there like that wasn't that's that was when you were 13 that's when like a 27 year old was 13 is when ice musical was popular that is so fucking funny anyway what's been shaking you this one goes out actually hold on i have a challenge for you okay watch an episode of amazing race by the next time we record like when we're recording on tuesday no monday bitch oh fuck really yes are we doing

monday and tuesday yes oh so many episodes watch an episode by then and let me know i want to hear if what you think we would be like okay and it can't be dad daughter estranged to someone necessary to make them estranged i keep being like so when you were in high school and I wasn't around and I'm like dad I'm still in middle school you don't even know how old I am that's right I'm sweating so much

during the challenge it looks like a face is melting there's also challenges where it's like someone will have to drive and the person in the back has to give directions And you're like you drive my eyes Are not what they used to be and I'm like but I don't even have a license I keep pretending like my body is I'm like oh my knees I can't do this

You have to do this one because you're so much younger My knees would break If I tried to do this challenge What's been shaking your ass On the way to class What's been shaking my ass on the way to class what's been shaking my ass on the way to class through all the grass with a little bit of sass oh yeah he's spitting bars yeah he's he's my hall pass oh come on do i think of something else that rhymed with

ass this one is the boys in the movement system I think that what has been shaking me is my allergies. It is springtime in Chicago and my allergies are... And boy are my arms tired. Fucking hell. I can't do anything without fucking sneezing and like wheezing and my eyes are itchy and it's fucking sucks. Teasing and pleasing oh honey and i you know that growing up i really didn't have allergies i really didn't know what i'm the same and like i don't know if it's because like the plants in the midwest are different than the

plants on the east coast but like plants what i say like plants plants and the plants on the east because our bodies are full our full physical makeup changes every seven years our cells fully regenerate every seven years i'm not wearing any makeup what you said my full physical makeup oh my god i will be wearing makeup on amazing race not right now keep up but yeah it's been really fucking irritating and i'm true i'm taking like four or five allergy pills a day not true not true just so clear um but but but eight nine benadryl i'm like right before bed i'm taking like 15 16 clarinet and i just i just want for whatever reason they're really bad this year um that sucks and yeah global warming bitch you really think so i do think so i'm talking about the ass i believe

that cells regenerate every seven years and i also believe that it's allergenic i do think what if on the amazing race what if on the amazing race i pretend to be like a climate denier like i'm like we're estranged and like i'm kind of conservative and you're like dad you can't say i'm like i'm like slightly insensitive things about the countries that we're in and you're like dad you can't say i'm like i'm like slightly insensitive things about the countries that we're in and you're like jesus dad i'm like sorry i'm old i don't know what you can say anymore in all our confessionals it's just us we're completely normal and i'm like obviously i don't think that but i think it helps our game we're like we're having a blast i think it's bringing us closer together.

It's revealing a lot about ourselves and each other. And we're just, it's like, there's no one I'd rather be on this crazy journey with. This is so funny. The host is like, so you guys met in college, right? No. No. I'm her father. I met when she came out of her mother's womb but in a hospital but then i

kind of disappeared for a couple years on and off that's why we're estranged fucking the other players are like you have to be 18 or older to be on the show well maybe i fuck i'm like i it's because i'm really mature they made an exception for her because she's so mature no we didn't you can find alph on instagram at alfred in it you can find the show on instagram at review review reddit r slash review review discord review review holy shit jeffrey james and i have a patreon where you can come hang out with us in our monthly zoom parties at patreon.com slash riley and jeff and you could find my daughter that i don't really speak to at instagram.com just the web browser not the phone app at riley and spot and on twitter.com now known as xxxxxx.com for as long

as it lasts at riley coyote and as we say every single week on the show we're always saying it we're never not saying it this one goes out to the boys with the booming system drop tank top ac with the booming system we'll see you next time. Bye. Bye now. Party girls, don't get hit. Can't feel anything. I push it down. I push it down. Phones blowing up. For a good time, Paul.

Peter Griffin. I'm the one. I'm the one 1, 2, 3 1, 2, 3, drink 1, 2, 3 1, 2, 3, drink 1, 2, 3 I throw him back

till I lose count I'm Peter Griffin from the lowest man From the lowest man From the lowest man And I'm Peter Griff Like Quagmire doesn't exist Like he doesn't exist

I'm Gunner Bryan Like a Stewie through the crisp Feel my Meg, is I Lois I'm Gunner Cleveland From the

May Adam West From the May Adam West From the May Adam West But I'm holding on for dear Meg Won't look down, won't open my Chris Keep my Brian Till I stewie Cause I'm Oh. Cause I'm. Oh fuck I'm running out of names.

Bonnie. Till I joe. Anyway. That's just like a little something. Daniel feel free to leave that in. Double it. You know. Do whatever you want with it.

Cause. While Riley's. in the bathroom and I guess I'm just supposed to entertain myself, you know. Come on! That was a Hiddem Original.