Review Revue - Ghost Tours (w/ Betsy Sodaro & Marcy Jarreau!)

Episode Date: March 28, 2023

This week Alf and Reilly are joined by Betsy Sodaro and Marcy Jarreau as they share their family history, submit a formal complaint, and communicate with the other side, all while reading reviews on Ghost Tours! Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh @alfredinnit Twitter: @reilecoyote  Join the discord here! <><> Produced by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fm This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/REVIEWREVUE and get on your way to being your best self.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. And participating restaurants for a limited time. This is a HeadGum Original. When a man picks up an axe

His men tone it carefully Half in advance It's not that kind of man He was outside chopping wood logs When the axe bounced up Unfortunately for Alfred, chopped off half his face When a man posts on Insta And then his post pulls up You would think that he would get followers

But our friend bought well and fizz Well, he really missed out. Too bad he didn't miss when he chopped off half his face. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That was from Lorne Mintz from Toronto, Canada. Lorne says that they've submitted several theme songs in the past. So sorry about including the 100 episode theme.

Sorry about that. Had a theme that hasn't been used yet. It's meant for both Riley and Jeff. That's fair. So you asked and I delivered in the meantime. Here's a theme song specifically for Alfred Broadwell Evans, a parody of when a man loves a woman called when a man picks up an axe

and that was a beautiful moment for moment I would say Alf what do you think pretty accurate retelling of when you hit yourself in the face with an axe so for our guests what's that referencing is I did like two years ago hit myself in the face with an axe the sharp

side was a whole thing whole thing um and i was i was chopping wood and it just as you do backwards flipped around like a lacrosse stick and just like boom right in the side of my head um and so that's what that was referencing and then then I did, uh, come when I first came on the show as a guest and I told that story, people would go to my Instagram, like the post that I made like two years ago, announcing that I'd been hit with an ax and not follow me. And I got pretty mad about it. To be fair, they were going there for a specific content.

If you weren't delivering it consistently. Yeah, you gotta keep hitting yourself. That's a good point. Yeah. specific content if you weren't delivering it consistently yeah or you just gotta keep posting that same photo at least like weekly just to remind people our stages of the healing process yes yeah it's true i did i realized like after the fact that i made that post and then i didn't really post on instagram again for like a year and I think that was a bad sign for people who were worried about me maybe also feels like you weren't trying to

get followers so like you know you get what you ask for right? you're right that was my way of finding out I remember that it's like it was like you posting because you had nerve damage in your face and you couldn't lift one eyebrow and so then it was a photo of him in the hospital,

his head bandaged, and then like a bunch of characters, like photos of TV characters who have, like a lot of Eugene Levy, like his eyebrows, and Alf being like, wish I could do that, but I can't.

Whoa. Guys, if you're like, oh, who, the dulcet tones that aren't Riley and Alfred, who the hell? And if you haven't looked at the episode title when you clicked it, that's a weird thing to not do. But we're here with, these are the hosts of our fellow, our little HeadGum community podcast, Funny Feeling with Marcy Giroux and Betsy Sedaro. Apart from also, they do so much other shit.

If you've not heard of them, you're living under a rock We're so happy to have you guys here Thank you Woo, we're pumped to be here How's your morning? What's new? What's happened between you waking up and now? Anything crazy?

I had pizza for breakfast Oh, yeah Hot, cold? What's the vibe? Cold, dude. I was in just a cold mood. I had a cold slice of pizza before I knew this.

Yes, yes, yes. I was checking in with my coven to see how everyone was feeling after our Bridget rituals last night. Love it. What does that mean? Our friend's sister aunt she's just like an aunt who's a month younger than her but so they were raised like sisters um she is a celtic witch and

sick and so we had met in person for the first time like a few weeks ago and she was like i heard you're a coven and so that is not how she speaks um and so she was like uh the goddess bridget her i forget the i don't know the day of the what was it embolic embolic or something like that uh i only i paid as much attention as i had to get too many candles involved anyway we were just seeing how we were feeling after, you know, doing a ritual for Bridget. Nice. Love it. Nice.

That's wonderful. It did help. I slept for the first time all week. So, you know. Weirdly enough, I slept last night all the way through for the first time all week as well. I think something's going on. Obviously, we're very into the woo, woo, woo, woo, woo of it all. I love it.

Alfred, how'd you sleep? Like shit. But I always sleep terribly. Did you give any offerings to any god or goddesses? Maybe that's your problem. That's your problem, dude. I can already tell he didn't. I can already tell he didn't. I think I had coffee at like 7 p.m.,

which I think might have had something to do with it. After the age of 27, you can't do that anymore it's a vicious cycle whereby i um don't sleep well and then i have stuff to do in the evening so like last night there was a show and so i drank coffee before the show so that i was awake enough to do the show and then I couldn't sleep because I had coffee you know and then I wake up and I feel like shit and so tonight I'm gonna have to drink coffee you know so I don't do it I don't take care of myself I guess is what we're learning

be tired for one thing break the cycle be tired for one thing I'm tired for everything I'm always giving unsolicited advice but my psychiatrist said when i was having a bout of insomnia she was like go if you're awake before sunrise or whatever go outside and face east let the sun hit your bare eyes um so maybe even you are I see a glasses wearer, maybe even go outside without glasses and let it truly like non-refracted, that blue morning light hit your eyes.

Or even like I've heard people say, like, take a 10 minute walk at dawn or dusk, you know, like get that sun on you because we're creatures of the sun. That's very true. Just set our circadian rhythm. That's a big jet lag thing, right? Yes. Yeah. If you have jet lag, do that. I feel like my boyfriend, I use this quote against him a lot because it doesn't mean how he sounds,

but he did say to me once, I don't believe in jet lag. And I think he meant it in like a two-hour time difference thing, or like if I'm coming back from like visiting my dad in the Midwest, and I'm like, oh, it's two hours later and he's like shut the fuck up but like and I'm like no like and so now if we're doing like an international trip and he's really tired and I'm like I'm such a

I'm like oh I don't believe in time oh he's not going to sleep but that's just me being awful it's a beautiful relationship i always heard that you could only adjust like an hour a day like that like like so if you were traveling from the midwest back to california it's two hours you're gonna be a little bit off for like the first 48 and then you're gonna be back so yeah and so probably it was probably like four or five days in. I'm like, but I can't go to, I can't wake up.

I am going to Tokyo. You're going to be fine. I think since it's almost like a full day, right? Or half a day at least. That's so exciting. Maybe it'll just be like, well, I don't know. Nothing happened. I like mentally prepare myself to be like,

because you're landing at like what? Five 30 or something. I'm landing in, I'm leaving at midnight and landing a day later at five 30 AM. Yeah. I like mentally like treat it like, okay, I'm going to try to get tomorrow morning.

Yeah. Yeah. It's tomorrow morning. Maybe I got kind of a crappy night of sleep. I'm going to go through it. Yeah. You got to trick yourself into being like, morning yeah yeah it's tomorrow morning maybe i got kind of a crappy night of sleep i'm gonna go through it yeah you gotta trick yourself into just being like let me have a whole day and then sleep hard and then you're ready yeah i'm gonna be ready i'm gonna be ready that's awesome um speaking of uh creatures of the day this is elf's favorite's favorite part of it. It's when Riley does the most indelicate transition

you've ever heard. Speaking of creatures of the day. Speaking of being creatures of the day, I think we should talk more about some creatures of the night. Honestly, really good. Thank you so much. That's honestly one of my smoothest ones. No one should take issue with that.

That was great. No. My bad. Yeah, how dare you? How dare you, Alfred. That was great. No. My bad. Yeah, how dare you? How dare you, Alfred? That was a perfect transition. Yeah, take off your glasses and go outside so you can fucking sleep.

Yeah, go stare at the sun with your glasses off. Come on. Put on your eyeballs. Wait, I already said the F word. Am I not allowed? No, you're good. You're good. You can say it.

Which F word did you say? The one that's going to get me canceled. Because it doesn't. It's okay. Riley says that one every week. Oh, I don't. Just personally to me. A lot of editing that out, huh?

Yeah. We're talking about ghost tours because we have our spooky podcast friends here with us. Guys, talk to me. We gave you a list of some paranormal shit and y'all picked ghost tours. What drew you to it? Do you have any experience with ghost tours? Or no, do you wish you had experience with ghost tours? Talk to

us about it. You're talking to some intermediate ghost tours. Intermediate. Yeah, intermediate. Not extreme, but not beginner. It's a fun yeah oh go ahead i mean i was so curious because i want to hear like some bad reviews yeah and they're out there let me tell you they're out there they're they're out there it's a fun thing when you go to any city to see if there's a ghost tour because it's also a historical tour as well so yeah yeah it's a fun thing when you go to any city to see if there's a ghost tour, because it's also a historical tour as well.

Yeah. It's a good way to, yeah. Do you guys have a ghost tour that you've been on that sticks out in your mind? It's like that is what I will be comparing ghost tours to for the rest of my life, is like this experience. We went on a fun one together in Austin. Yeah, and there was someone with us in our party had an experience and yes then i was on one in jerome uh arizona oh i bet that one was fucking wild there was a really wild experience on jerome's haunted as shit yeah wow that's crazy i feel like whenever i've gone on any, I haven't gone on one in a while. I remember being in North Carolina and going on one. And it was, I feel like it was just, it was a lot, it was more history than it was like a ghost tour. Like it was at night, so it was inherently a little spooky.

Right. is mostly just kind of like, this is where the first bakery was. And I'm like, all right. And it wasn't anything to write home about, but I want to have a ghost tour experience that gets the bones. It was just a production of our town. It wasn't... Not a very good ghost tour. Rover's Corner is bullshit. It was a location-specific production of our town.

Alf, ghost tours? Never in my life have I been on a ghost tour. No desire or? I think when I was younger, I was too afraid. I was like, I'm going to get freaked out. It doesn't sound fun. And I think now, I don't know. And this is something I noticed when I was looking at reviews.

They're expensive a lot of the time. Like, a lot of the reviews were, like, can't believe I paid $90 for this. What? That is nuts. I was like, Jesus. Especially because it's, like, they can't guarantee you're going to see anything. Like, that's the thing. If I'm paying $90, I better get choked by a ghoul.

Exactly. Like, guaranteed. There better be an exorcism on me if I'm paying $90 I better get choked by a ghoul there better be an exorcism on me if I'm paying $90 a little kid better pull my shorts down at least a Q&A with a ghost and I think honestly I've like

slept on tours generally like I don't like I've owned like I you know I last summer I went on the chicago boat architecture tour which i heard that's dope actually have to recommend it was a blast and it's like i i just think i forget about tours as like an activity and then every time i do one i'm like wait these are fun so maybe you should do a ghost tour at some point the tip is always do a tour as soon as you get to a city. That way they'll tell you about

stuff that you should possibly see. Don't do it at the end. Too late. Because then you'll be like, oh shit, I should have gone. Yeah, I should have done that. I should have been haunted there. Yeah. Or just any tour, like, about the city. That's a really good tip. I know, I'm from LA and I've lived here for a long time

and I always, I think like I had a running bit with my dad that's like, what if we just like did one of the red bus tours? Yeah. Even though we are locals in LA. And I haven't done it yet. But now it's like, I think whenever I drive, I'll see like, I wouldn't want to do like the TMZ tour because that feels problematic.

That feels icky. Icky. But like just the red bus tour I think would be fun. But I don't know why. It's funny to think about tours in your own hometown. I looked up some LA ghost tours. At first I was like, how silly? But I'm like, oh no, LA is haunted as shit for sure.

But yeah, I want to do a really good one. Also, Alf, I wonder if it was $90 because a lot of them are also like booze tours as well. It's like they get you boozed up when they talk about the ghosts. Yeah. Or like they'll do, oh, there's a squirrel right outside.

Sorry. It's, no. Very rare for LA. Yeah, yeah. You're looking out the window with like the fear as though it might come in. It's because I cannot stress enough how close the tree is to the window right but there's glass right it's not just gonna like harry potter its

way through the glass sometimes there's two and they fight oh there's what yep it's gonna happen there's two and they fight right outside the window and it's loud and it gets it's like a tuckus wow so you're just worried about the recording. You're just like. No, I'm worried that one was going to hit the window. Anyway, should we get into some reviews? Yeah. Yeah. Can we place bets on the squirrels, though? If they're going to fight or if they're going to hit the window?

No, and who's going to win? Oh, okay. I mean, they both are red squirrels. So if you want to do red squirrel one or two. They're both red squirrels? I lied. Their bellies look kind of red. It doesn't matter. Let's talk about ghost squirrels. Sorry. I really red squirrels i lied their bellies look kind of right it doesn't matter let's talk about ghosts i really like squirrels do you want to go first you want me to go first

what do you want to do um i'd love to go first go for it uh here we go ghost for um the savannah walking tour by genteel and bard um and my, if you're listening, Daniel shot a couple episodes of a TV show in Savannah and he almost did a walking tour, but he was there for a couple weeks and apparently, fun fact, Savannah is said to be the most haunted city in America. So they have a lot of ghost tours.

This was the biggest, this was the most reviewed ghost tour. And all of the, like 90% of them were five stars, so I'm like, give me the bad ones. Yeah. Give me like the mediocre ones. So this is three stars from Paul B.

Betsy or Marcy, can we get a last name for Paul B. Bronte. Paul Bronte. Three stars. And yes, related to

those ladies who wrote stuff. He's a Bronte. He has no idea who they are. He's a Bronte. He has no idea who they are. Charlotte and Emily. He's just at a Barbie and like, yeah, it's those ladies. You know those ladies.

Come on. Three stars from Paul Bronte. As far as ghost tours go, this one was nice, but not amazing. I've experienced with a few across the United States. I did like walking. It's more intimate and accessible. I enjoyed the personal listening device, a great tool for large groups.

Our guide was very energetic. We did learn a lot about the local folklore, but lots more of paranormal speculation and speculative gory details than history. I prefer intriguing history rather than personal stories from the tour guide. Too many personal testimonies that sounded made up. The perpetual high fives got old real quick. Funny. He was trying to create emotional responses instead of letting the material do it for him. His style was more suited to a younger, more intoxicated crowd.

Nice, but not amazing. Wow. Wow. That's a personal, a personal, you really went personal with that review. Really went personal. And it's just like, I love, I love one, obviously the high fives, the perpetual,

that he has to do it enough for them to be like, yeah, that's enough, man. We get it, we get it. All right, we get it. And that it's like, that he has to do it enough for them to be like yeah that's enough man all right we get it and that it's like now he's probably like ready for like a bunch of like 22 year olds who are like getting drunk and excited to be out and about and like people just laugh at anything he says and it's just a group of like it's like a family reunion like yep also um paul gotta say want a history tour? Take a history tour.

There you go. Because Savannah's got a big party section, too. Really? They have, like, a whole street that is like, you're allowed to, like, they sell it, like, St. Patrick's Day there is gigantic. Really? Yeah, and they have a whole street where people just,

I was there in, like, I think a July, and it was, like, a Monday night, and they have a whole street where people just – I was there in like I think July, and it was like a Monday night, and it was – like people were like passed out and puking and stuff. It's like a bourbon street. Yeah, it's like a bourbon street. Oh, wow. In Georgia. Yeah. Oh, I see. I see.

I see. Yeah, yeah. So this tour guide was prepped for that. He was ready for that. They were ready for that. He was ready for that. They were ready for that. And all the personal, that's what really got me is that it's just like, he's like,

maybe I saw a ghost in my house. But I don't know. I could, I don't know for sure. And they're like, yep, I don't know. That's cool.

Hey, are you guys, you guys here for the tour? Yeah. Oh, awesome. Awesome. My name's Brian. I'm going to be your guide today. Do you see the Mini Cooper out back?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. With the British flag on it? Yes. I'm somewhat of an Anglophile myself. Oh, that's cool. You guys Downton Heads? Abby?

Downton Abbey? I've seen a couple episodes here or there. Nice. I understand what it is. Cool. Nice. And you? I bailed once Matthew died. Spoiler alert.

I'm sorry. No, it's been long enough. It's been long enough. That's fair. Can I get some high fives? Can I get some high fives? Yeah, quit getting mad at me. Okay. Can I get some high fives? Sure.

All right. Your hand's wet. So, like, sopping. Let's get in the Cooper, I guess. Oh, we're all getting in the mini-coop? Yeah, that's like, you know, it's an intimate tour. It's, you know, we can just go around the city city and i can show you some spots this isn't the walking tour uh i mean we can walk it's pretty far i think you guys this has happened before where people

are like oh can we just walk and then halfway through they're begging for the cooper so let's just okay yeah let's get the chase uh sure let's get in the Cooper. Shotgun. Am I driving? Wait, am I driving? Do you have a license? I do. I do. I mean, Sarah, you've also gotten a lot of DUIs. But not in the past five years.

Why don't you mind your business? Because you are always spouting out my business. Okay, so mind mine. We can do this later. I gave two kids up for adoption. And after five years of owning them. Oh can do this. We can do this later. Kids up for adoption. And after five years of owning them. Oh, come on.

Come on. Sorry, Brian. I did. I did. We're we, us three sisters. We haven't gotten together in better part of 10 years.

And so this is, we have a lot to catch up on and we're, we're excited just to have a fun day out with you. So we're going to be on our best behavior today. You may have noticed that Natalie is toxic positivity. That's what they say. It's not toxic positivity. It's just like you get what you put out there.

And so that's what I believe. And so it's like if you want to receive high fives and smiles from Brian, then that's what you're going to be putting out there. Okay, I'll get in the back. I'll get in the back. I'll get in the back. Dude. Oh my God, it's so tight back here. Sorry, the seat, you know, the bar broke.

He can just move the seat up. No, I can't. Oh my God, my fucking hips. Oh shit. I'm sorry. Get out for a second and wait till he moves the seat up. No, the bar broke. Just get out for a second.

It won't, it won't go up and down. My ankle. Oh my God. Would you rather? Okay, I'm in. Okay, I'm in. Okay, I'm in. I feel like an asshole.

Do you want shotgun? No, it's not your fault. Do you want shotgun? Oh, she'll just hurt herself more getting out. Sarah! She's already in. It's going to be another production. She's going to try and get out again.

Okay, so if you just want to pull out here, make a right. Okay, making a right. This is a one-way. Oh, shit, my bad. Did I say right? I meant left. Oh, God. Sarah, are you kidding me?

It's the Anglophile stuff. It's not my fault. The steering wheel is on the other side. I got confused. Yeah, that is really crazy that you're able to have one of those cars down here. Oh, I moonlight as a postman, so it's like they let me do it. You know what I mean? Because then I have to be on the driver's side to put it in the... It doesn't matter.

So, yeah, just make a U-turn and let's go back the right way uh real quick oh my god that was fast that was really scary oh we forgot to mention that is duis and also a lot of speeding tickets that's really cool i mean they're pretty much coupled but whatever right like they pulled you over for a reason you know yeah i mean i get i get i'm get what I call a brave driver. Don't use air quotes, put your hands on the wheel. Don't stop driving to use air quotes. Fine, fine, all right. Where am I going now?

Okay, just make a left. Make a left, left, left, make a left. Okay, so we're on our second left now. And what part of the city are we driving through right now? Oh yeah, so this is where I grew up. Yes, it's just like suburban Atlanta. You know, it's a pretty chill place. Oh, it's like Atlanta? Or did we

already get there? Sorry, no, it's like Atlanta. Oh my god, I was like, how long have I been in this car? I black out a lot. No, sorry. The sprawl, you know what I mean? The Savannah sprawl and the Atlanta sprawl, they're kind of joining in the middle now. It's kind of urban, you know, sprawl. So is this area where you grew up, is it

pretty haunted? Were there a lot of ghosts in the area? Yeah, I was bullied pretty hard as a kid. So when I come back here, it definitely triggers a lot of memories that are pretty scary. Oh. Yeah. You're holding my arm really tight. Sorry, yeah.

No, it's just, you know, you see that vending machine there? Whoa, yeah, in the middle of the sidewalk. Yeah, that is rare. It's so weird. That is a rare occurrence. That's kind of like what our neighborhood's known for is like that.

It's kind of like an art installation or something. It's known for just the one? Yeah, just one. I guess like a guy, like an artist who used to live here did it. But one time when I- Pull over. Can I get a soda? Yeah, absolutely.

Let's get a soda. Yes. God, parallel parking. It's a mini Cooper. It's the easiest car to parallel park. It is the easiest car to parallel park. It is the easiest car to parallel park. You have to remember where the steering wheel is. All right.

It's true. It takes some getting used to. So this vending machine actually, fun fact, I was, oh, shit. I think you, let's not look at the back of the car. Let's not look at the back of the car. This vending machine actually, when I was like 12, someone put my underwear in there. Ooh, was it like a ghost like you just were like oh what where did my underwear

go they're not they're not on me and it's in the in the vending machine is that how it happened yeah it was tobias um oh that's a spooky ghost name spooky old timey yeah i don't know yeah i don't know what his deal, what his parents deal was. He was he was in sixth grade with me. We were in the same language arts class. And yeah, I guess he one time he like he like punched me really hard and he took my gym bag and there was like my underwear in there. Wait, are you OK to talk about this? Because you're crying quite a bit.

No, no, I know you're not OK to talk about this because you're crying quite a bit no no i i know you're not okay to talk about it no i'm i hmm this is really shaking i oh um i thought we were gonna be talking about like ghosts yeah i i did too that is why we booked the ghost tour i could see how you are haunted by things from your past right what this is right i mean i think i think i have a lot of guilt um associated with you know this particular spot um what'd you do you just said you were bullied right well tobias you know he got he got what was coming to him you know let's get back in the cooper right let's take this baby for a jolly old spin hey come on that's uh hold on hold on let me get a coke zero yeah i'm gonna just chug this um celsius real fast nice good

choice do you have any of the animal cookies like the circus animal the pink and white look oh yeah they do let me get you some. Awesome. Thank you. So it's no longer art. It's just functioning now, right? Yeah, I think it's kind of like his, you know, combination. Like art can be functional kind of public art thing.

Cool. He was a cool guy. He died in a really scary accident. His house just like the floor fell wait what it wasn't actually that cool was it like on a cliff no it was just like flat ground and then like the second story collapsed and so the whole house was like you know talk about vaulted ceilings uh um you're laughing about that yeah you were just like oh it's really sad to talk about it's really hard and you're like oh haha vaulted ceilings i just was trying

to like lighten them lighten the mood i felt like my crying earlier had kind of got people upset or weirded out even um you're right you're right that's fair. Yeah. Did the guy, the artist, haunt this house that collapsed on him? I'd rather not talk about this. I mean, you can't withhold that kind of information if we're on a tour. It is what we're paying for. Not to get vulgar and talk about money, but it is what we're paying for. Natalie. That's disgusting.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Always talking about money. I mean, I would rather. I'm always. I'm sorry. Always talking about money. I mean, I would rather. I'm always talking about it. Angie, some people actually have to work for a living. They didn't all get disability from the state for getting hit by a bus. That I'm not sure was an accident.

Are you saying I stepped out in front of that city bus? I'm saying that it's not not saying. Are you saying that I was like, hey, I think I could survive this. And I stepped out in front of it. Are you saying that it's not not saying that. Are you saying that I was like, hey, I think I could survive this, and I stepped out in front of it? Are you saying that? Well, you did say that moments before stepping out in front of it, so I don't know. I'm suspicious of you.

Stop it, Sarah. Stop it. As you can tell, we are fraternal twins. Right. Triplets. Fraternal triplets. No, she was born the next day. Oh, right.

You were born, yeah, Natalie was born the next day. So we don't consider her to be part of us. But we're like all still a trio in many ways. And that's why we're here. Because it's the three of us and it always has been. Hasn't been for a while because of the accident. And that is what drove us apart for a little bit. Accident.

I use that quite liberally. It doesn't matter. Again, we're just here to have a good time. Smiling through it. And I want to hear more about this horrible thing that happened to your bully. Oh, look. Angie got into the back seat this time. I guess all of her bones are broken again. Oh, my God your bully. Oh, look. Angie got into the back seat this time. I guess all of her bones are broken again.

Oh, my God. No, Angie, no. You weren't making any noise until we pointed it out. You got in there so easily. It's because the Coke Zero helped me. The Coke Zero helped me. How? Because it made me feel good and fine

and my bones feeling really good. God. Okay, let's talk about you murdering your friend Tobias. He was not my friend. But you did murder him? He was not my friend. Well, there was another question asked. Yeah.

Yeah, he was a really... Because she said you murdered your friend Tobias and the thing you took issue with. Oh, he's not my friend. Yeah, he was a really mean kid. High fives all around. Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah. Why are you, you got sticky now. Sorry, my fresco, I think I was holding it too hard

and it kind of went everywhere. I don't know. Do you guys want to go see where I put him? Do, uh, uh. Whoa. Uh, sissies? This is a bit. No, this is like, oh, now we're really, this is the tour.

I think this is the tour. You are a very good, have you trod the boards? Tread the boards. You know how they say. No one knows what that means. Is that from Downton Abbey? It's not from Downton Abbey. It was just like a British thing. maybe that it's like he likes it.

That's not a British thing. I can like have fun too. We're all having fun. I can also have fun. Okay. If that made you feel good. Sarah. You always do this thing.

You always do this like passive aggressive like, oh, like, oh, that makes you feel like I know you don't mean it. And so it actually really hurts when you say that. I actually want to take issue with the passive aggressive thing. I'm being aggressive okay fine fine you are you are being very aggressive thank you can i ask you guys a question and i hope it doesn't come off bad like mean or anything um why do you feel like you have to maintain a relationship with each other? Because we're

family! Family! Because we're the family! We barely touch each other's arms. We're family! Gently patting shoulders. And family has to

stick together, whether you like it or not. Because no one else will help you in this world. It's been proven. Yeah. And you've always said that. And that's something I've taken issue with, is regardless of any situation, where anyone's kind to you, you're always like,

no one else will help you in this world except for family. Show me evidence to the contrary. I mean, I don't have an exact example right now. Exactly. Oh, my God. Busted. My don't have an exact example right now. Exactly. Oh my god. Busted. My family helped me. Stay out of this. Your family helped you with what? When I put him away.

Okay, we have to see this place. Okay, we see you clearly murdered this year. Show us his grave. Okay, um, do you want to just, yeah, just follow the signs to I-90? I-90? Jesus Christ. i how am i gonna merge with this steering wheel on this side there's mirrors i can't look over my shoulder

be careful my legs three lanes at once. Oh my god sir. Wow okay so yeah we're just gonna go about a quarter mile. Oh god I gotta go over all three again now. Oh no. And then Oh god. Let's do one lane at a time. One lane at a time. Oh god. Okay there's gonna be

yeah we're gonna see a little like a bandana tied to a tree and you're just gonna pull off on the shoulder. Whoa. Did you leave that there so you could buy this? Sometimes we like to visit. We? Who's we?

Me and my family. They helped. We're really close. They helped me. See? Anyway, time to get out High five High five, yeah Their hands are hot

Really hot Also I don't want to, I shouldn't say this Ladies, sisters He has an erection Right now That's what that is That's what that is Ladies, sisters. Yeah. What? He has an erection right now. That's what that is. That's what that is.

Angie, you have to get out more. I don't want to get out. You know I'm afraid of marketplaces. We have to find a way to get you over that. No way. I'm having a good time in my one bedroom. Also, do you think marketplaces are where you're going to see the most boners?

Yeah. Yeah. Don't you get horny while you're shopping? I get fucking crazy horny when I'm at the grocery store. And when was the last time you were at a grocery store? Oh, man. 97. She's not allowed back. I'm not allowed back

at Albertsons. She was only 12 years old and she is not allowed back. You can go other places when you go out. It doesn't have to just be market home. Albertsons has the best deals. They had to do an age progression photo lineup to keep her out for that many decades. Yeah.

It must have been so humiliating for you to go back to Albertsons only to have your photo taken and be told you can't enter the store. It was terribly humiliating. Anyway, where's the body? Would you guys want to grab some stuff from the trunk?

Okay. And on these things, the trunk's in the front, right? Yeah, the bonnet, we call it, back in jolly old. Okay, okay. Is your family British at all, or is this just kind of like you're really into it? No, got it. That's what I thought.

That's what I figured. Pop the bonnet. Oh, wow, look at that. A lot of duct tape. You look like a shovel girl. Why don't you carry this? She is a shovel girl. Yeah, I shovel shit for a living.

That's actually not the first time that someone's called her that. Yeah, I am a shovel girl. Rope for you. All right. I shovel stuff. Okay. Is this, just making sure, like, I go to you privately. This is still part of the tour.

Like, yeah, I'm just trying to show my sisters a good time. So just making sure that it's like, we're not all committing a crime or like aiding and abetting. Like, this is very much part of the tour, right? Are you scared? I'm a little spooked i'm a little i but i know it's part of the fun right um yeah natalie yes yeah don't ask questions we shouldn't know the answers to this is i'm just don't ask questions if we don't know we don't know yeah listen to Sarah. She went to law school for a semester.

For a semester, that's right. I did. I did get kicked out. And I will never tell you why I plead the fifth. Because we don't answer questions. The one thing you learned from law school is pleading the fifth. The one thing I learned is keep your mouth shut. You guys are cool, right?

Oh, my God. we're high right now. Yeah, we're fucked up. Cool. Nice. I was worried. You guys did it without me again? Are you fucking kidding me? Angie and I are on shrooms. Yeah. Why didn't you include me? You never include me in these things. Oh, do you want a shroom right now,

Natalie? Well, no, because you're using that voice. No, I don't want it because you're being like a mean. I don't want to do it. No, stop. You can't do it, too. No, we can't help it. This is what the shrooms make us do. Stop. It's not funny. It's like, I know you're trying

to be funny, but it's actually not funny. It's not funny. You know, in England, they call mushrooms toadstools. Let's kill this guy. Yeah, let's kill this guy. Let's kill this guy. Yeah, let's kill this guy. Let's kill this guy. Get your shovel. Hit him with the shovel.

Hit him. Do it. My erection. My erection. I hit his wiener. Right in my erection. I'm going to tie this rope around his wiener. Not my erection.

Now drive with it. Oh, my God. This is just what I did to Tobias tie it to the bonnet floor it Sarah three ways yeah cut to a year later at that same spot

someone giving another ghost tour and this is where the Carlson sisters all horrendously, viciously murdered our old tour guide, Brian. Wow. Does anyone have any questions? Angie, do you have any questions?

Yeah. Where's the wiener? You know, that's actually, it's so funny you ask that. That's our most asked question on this tour and the wiener is, nobody knows. Nobody knows. So the wiener could still be out there in and around the greater Atlanta area.

So once you leave this tour, be aware because that tour guide's wiener just might surprise you somewhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got merch back at the front if anyone wants it we do actually have weiner merch it's kind of like the pasta that's shaped like dicks in Italy but it's we kind of we just repackaged it for this tour nice that's the only pasta I like to eat

what's that dick pasta is the only kind of pasta I like to eat right Sarah what's that a dick pasta is the only kind of pasta i like to eat oh that's great sarah we should what names were we what names did we say we were gonna use i can't remember i don't know so i just went right back to your real name i know i did it to you too i feel like this is you're doing this maliciously to get me back so we can get caught what no way i love you thought it would be fun to see like you know

like how serial killers have no i that's exactly what i know we you don't have to explain what we are actually doing i know okay okay okay sanji and i uh love touring things yeah and and pasta And pasta dicks. That's right. Cop pulls up on the shoulder. Hey, you ladies okay? Yeah, yeah. You know you're not allowed to just park here. Is there trouble with your motor vehicle? No, no, no. This is the ghost tour.

This is one of the Savannah ghost tours. We are all good, officer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, I didn't recognize you. What happened to Brian? Oh, well, that's exactly. If you want to pull up, officer, we're just finishing the tour. No, we don't talk to cops.

Oh, yeah. No. Oh, I'm sorry. No, that's sorry. I should be sorry. I'm sorry, officer. I'm leading the tour. It's okay.

Look at them. Like, what the fuck? It's okay. It's okay. You can come join the tour. What does your t-shirt say? ACAB. ACAB?

And then it has a picture of a bloody dick, and it says, I went to Atlanta, and all I got was I ripped a guy's dick off? Yeah. Some people say it's too many messages on one shirt. It's a little crowded. It's a little like the eye doesn't know where to go. Especially since it's a crop top.

Yeah, it is. Really limited real estate to put that much text on and the graphic is graphic. Well, you should see the back. Oh, there's a back. You should see the back. Turn around. You gotta show them the rest of it.

It's the entire Bible. You ever seen a Dr. Bronner's, like, you know, the soaps? There's like an entire copy of War and Peace, essentially, on the side of it. That's what this shirt is. Yeah. Wow. Well, this all seems pretty normal. I'm gonna head out.

You should be able to see. What? Wait, what? It is weird. Oh, my flaccid. My flaccidness. Ah. That is a bonnet.

No, not the bonnet of my cop car. Stand away. Bonnet of life. I really love how that's what brought just the two twins together. Yeah, it makes you wonder what happened to the third one. Natalie did one. We set her up. She's in jail.

She's in jail. She's rotting in prison. Oh, that was beautiful. Should we take a break? Let's take a break. We're going to take a break. We're all going to eat some Italian penis pasta. We'll be right back.

Yum, yum, yum. And we're back in. I've brought us back in and here we are. And now I'm going to do a review. This is from Ghost Tours in Park City, Utah. Kind of a spooky mountain. It's all the real housewives of Salt Lake City. In their spectral form.

Yeah, we have Lisa Barlow with her Vita tequila. Who's the one who married her grandpa or something? Mary Cosby. Oh, Mary M. Cos Cosby she's coming back as a friend of her grandpa I'm sure he'll be around yeah they're still married wow I wonder if

she'll still smell like hospital she doesn't smell like hospital she smells hospital she got't smell like hospital she sends Jen Shaw that's right she was the one who smelled the hospital I guess it just depends on when Jen goes to federal

prison free Jen Shaw that's all I'm saying and you've always said that weirdly enough from even before she was indicted this is if you want to protect elderly people, take all their technology and phones away. Michelle G.

Can I get a last name for Michelle G? Michelle G. Okay. Michelle Gingerbread. Michelle Gingerbread. And Park City says... says wait how many stars? one sorry one nice here we go

just the one sadly I live where I can overhear the ghost story several times a day that is funny it is sub par which is forgivable however the behavior from the tour guides It is subpar, which is forgivable.

However, the behavior from the tour guides is frightening to tolerate. Would be great if they could stay off private property and please stop loitering in front of the main street businesses. I've been on ghost tours in Paris and Rome. Those were stupendous. The guides were polite, very considerate to residences and business owners, unlike Park City ghost tours. They delight in being offensive. And no matter how polite you are in asking them to hold it down at 11 p.m., it's guaranteed that they will not. Wow. Whoa.

What an insane comparison. Whoa. It's like compared to, it's like, you know, well, like, oh, well, the food in France, whatever. Well, the ghost tours in Rome are nothing like the ones in Park City. Yeah, it feels like this lady went on one trip and brings it up every chance she can.

I do love being like, no, don't get me wrong. I love a ghost tour. That's not what I'm taking issue with. Not some kind of narc. It's the legal ramifications, yes. Okay, we'll bring this Park City City Council meeting to a start.

We have a lot on the docket today. And I had a really long night. New baby, not sleeping very well. So if we could just make this. Yeah, you get it. Oh, yeah. I hear that. I hear that.

That's like. So our first, I see here, first measure is from Cindy M. Talking about the local Park City Ghost Tours. Oh, that's so fun. First, I see here, first measure is from Cindy M. Talking about the local Park City Ghost Tours. Oh, that's so fun. I know, my niece loves going on that. So, yes, whenever. Well, she's part of the problem then, isn't she?

Oh, hello, Cindy. Hello. Hi. Hi. Thank you so much for coming. I see a couple bullet points of your concern that there's a noise issue, too loud. I know you're, unfortunately and fortunately, right along the path

for the ghost tour. Also, the story keeps changing a little bit at a time. First, it's a little boy crying at night. Then it's footsteps from a little boy. Also, how can you

gender footsteps? I don't get it. Yeah, you know what? That is a really good point. You cannot gender footsteps. So, thank you. And thanks so much for coming. I won't make you know that. Oh, really good point you cannot gender footstep so I thank you and thanks so much for coming I won't make you know that and I won't get it

I didn't even get started yet I'm gonna be doing this in character if you don't mind in character? uh long ago oh I was on uh August 2nd you see.

Oh, we took care of flying a sky. But they respected all the neighbors in the neighborhood. Yes, in fact, they even made them agree to the timing of the ghost tours. And everything was ended at 8 p.m., especially in the winter months where the sun sets so early over the mountains. See? Excuse me. Excuse me. I run the Park City Ghost Tours.

Yeah, I know. Yeah. And I was wondering, like, I mean, would you want to give one? Would you want to give one? Oh, that is a wonderful solution. Thank you so much, Marsha. I think that would be pretty agreeable, Cindy, don't you think? You think I can be bought?

You think I can be bought? I was just thinking, that was incredible. I felt like I was right there in Paris, France. A hundred percent. Getting told all about how good their tours are. And I thought we could bring that energy to Park City Ghost Tours. Well, I mean, it would be an improvement for sure. And you could keep the stories as consistent as you like.

Sometimes, I don't know, we get a little bored, so we change it up just a little bit, you know? Hey, no harm done there. No harm done there. They're fun ghost stories. Counselor Wilson here, 3rd District. Um, I have a question. Uh, I've been on the Park City Ghost Tour several times, and one of the things that I always enjoyed was the offensiveness. Uh, and I'm just, I'm curious if you're able to bring the kind of offensive content that tourists are looking for in our city. Are you qualified to be that offensive on the tour?

Me? Me? Am I qualified? Yeah, your French accent was a little offensive, but I don't think it went far enough. Well, as you know, the French people can be pretty uncouth, you know, so I could do that. There's quite a lot of xenophobia in Europe. Whoa, I'm going to put a stop to that right there.

I actually really... You know who's really haunting this city? Oh, no, no, no. We're not going there. This is no Cedric if you're waiting. Oh my God. This is actually not the direction I was hoping this meeting would go. So thank you so much.

I think we can leave that to you guys, the matter of whether or not Cindy will join as a tour guide. At this point, I do not think she should. One, I don't think she's qualified. And two, I think she is more offensive than, I guess, whatever it was you're doing. Now that it's been brought up to my attention. Just one last thing.

Everyone here has children, so you make such a big deal about it every week. Just wanted to say that goodbye. Sorry. Wait, come back up here to see me. Even I was a little unsure about that. Can you elaborate a little bit on that? Every week it's like, oh, I didn't get any sleep. I have a kid.

It's like, yeah, we all have them. Do you know how many Mormon people here have so many kids? Okay, just saying. Cindy, we've got to get you on our tours. Well, actually, I don't know if Cindy should go on the tour. And yes, I'm a new mom, so that was just my way of connecting with everybody here because I know there's a lot of people with children on this council. I have nine.

You have nine kids? Nice. Thank you. That's wonderful. You have nine kids? Nice. Thank you. That's wonderful. Congratulations. Light of my life. Seven for me. How about you in the front row?

Childless by choice. Okay. Okay. So you said we all have kids. I'm in the royal we. Okay. Listen, Cindy, I want to respect the opinion of everyone who comes in and

brings up an issue in this council. I guess it's unclear to me whether you want to be part of the ghost tour. It sounds like you really do, or if you want it to stop being what it is. You want it to stop. Okay.

Then I can open my own. Okay. And that's what I was afraid of. Wait a second. Yeah. So the ghost tours, there's a big part of the local business here. Obviously, Marsha is an amazing ghost tour leader. Thank you.

Thank you. Of course. Thank you. Thank you. Thank poo. Thank poo. Oh, oh, oh. You got me again. You you. Thank boo. Thank boo. Oh, oh, oh. You got me again.

You get me every time. So I guess, Cindy, thank you for raising your concerns. We will be keeping the ghost tours going. If you want to apply to be a tour guide there, that is on you. It's none of your business. That's what I said. It's none of my business. I said that is on you and has nothing to do with me.

So we are agreeing. I don't want it to get hostile we are agreeing what else do you do today what else happens here is this a Cindy party now nope it's not a Cindy party no one said it's a Cindy party I will say though

Cindy you come here every week takes one to know one what Cindy stop it you come here every week. Takes one to know one. What? Cindy, stop it. You come here every week and you start complaining. And then everybody's like, well, what do we do for Cindy? Cindy, what do we do?

And then you're like, don't ask me. And you started it. I'm sorry. I don't have nine kids, four kids. I am childless by choice. No, but not mine. My God's choice. My God's choice. Maybe if someone would hug me at the end of a meeting, I would feel better.

Is that all you want is a hug? Is that it? Just a little human touch, some skin to skin. That's all. We could have saved so much time and funds if you had just said you wanted off. Yeah, it's been like 30 years of this. Yes, I'll take my shirt off. I will also.

I'll take my shirt off. I'll touch you with my boobs. Wait, wait, hold on, hold on. Yeah, you put your boobs next to my boobs. Yeah, let's all take our shirts off. Shit, let's get freaky. Yeah, everybody take your shirt off. Councilman, you need to leave.

What? How did I do? You know, city council, more like. Yeah, everybody take your shirt off. Councilman, you need to leave. What? How did I do? You know? City council, more like Cindy council. Am I right? Let's do this thing. Let's all take our clothes off. This is making me feel better.

You like this? You like this skin-on-skin contact? Like a newborn baby. I mean, hey, I have seven kids, so. Whoa, this is getting a little too rich For my blood I'm gonna back out I don't like this stuff this is a little too freaky Weird I have a motion

To slash the city council The milk budget for the children in school Can we all just get a quick vote on that Can we get a quick vote on that Okay good no more milk no more milk no more milk yay you want the door to be more offensive and for kids to have not good lunches at school yeah no lunches is preferable okay more like cindy council cindy becomes the council chairs every meeting is just naked just everyone piling on my body it makes me feel better my voice went all over the place i could not love it it was

it was perfect do we have time for one more review sure Sure. Yeah. Okay, here we go. This one, it's a little long, but it's a journey. Oh, great. This is for Linda Ghost Hunter. It's a tour in LA. And so this is not just a ghost tour. It's like you have all of the equipment. You're listening for stuff.

Do you know of it, Marcy? Full disclosure that Betsy and I share a profile and that is our burner account. Linda Ghost Hunter. Oh, Linda Ghost Hunter. I also love that there's no last name. It's not like Lara Croft. Linda

Ghost Hunter. So this is five stars from David I. Can we get a last name for David I? Iceberg lettuce. David Iceberg

lettuce. Oh my god, here we go. So he's a repeat customer. This was his first review. Linda's ghost hunting tour was a huge success. Before we even got started, we were experiencing activity. Upstairs at the Rainbow Bar and Grill was possibly the best validation ever. I was using the Mel Meter, which is affected by electromagnetic activity. It was giving me normal readings of 0.06 to 1.0 with the occasional spikes of 5 at times. But in a loft above the dance floor,

something quite miraculous occurred I kept feeling a strange connection with a certain spot in that loft and the readings went way up to 11 and 12 I kept leaving and going downstairs with everyone else, but kept feeling I needed to be upstairs I went down and I would tell Linda something was upstairs and staying there like I asked it to The rest of the group and Linda soon joined me What happened next was truly unexplainable or was it? and staying there like I asked it to. The rest of the group and Linda soon joined me. What happened next was truly unexplainable. Or was it?

With a friend holding dowsing rods, Linda asked a potential spirit who was with us. Clearly the name was Chris, heard by all on the EVP, a device that spirits manipulate FM frequency waves to form words. Linda prompted us with the question, who is Chris? My deceased mother's name was Chris, something nobody in the group even knew. Linda asked, is this David's mom?

And clearly a southern lady's voice could be heard by all saying, yes, and cross. At the very moment, the rods crossed before all of us to form a cross. I asked, mom, are you wanting to tell me how proud you are of me? Yes! I hadn't shared with Linda that I was a recovering alcoholic that spiraled out of control by my mother's passing. I came to L.A. to get help,

a choice I'm certain my mother would be proud of. And here I received validation that I was in the right place and doing the right thing. Freaking amazing! No doubt about it. I'm from Arkansas

and my mom was a southern lady we all heard a southern lady's voice we all concurred it had to have been my mom for the money there's no better thing you can do in la i assure i can't assure you're getting to speak with deceased family members but definitely wouldn't rule it out the tour had all the verifiable evidence evidence any skeptic would ever need. Wow. That made me happy. Yes. I'm so happy that this dude got the validation. I also love that it was just, it wasn't like I heard my mom's voice.

It was a Southern lady. It had to have been my mom. It was my mom. Very suspicious that that was Linda writing that review. Speaking of burner accounts accounts that's very funny I would like you to click on David's name to see what else David has reviewed because then he comes back

nice I love that it was like that the woman like the voice was it's like yes and cross that she's telling them to cross, which I feel is more like when they're like, oh, are you here? And if you cross the rods, you're here, but not like cross.

She was a dance instructor while she was alive. Step, ball, change. And the very specific leading question, if she can only do yes or cross it's like are oh are you here

is it you you're here because you're telling me that you're proud of me and validating my choices to come get sober in LA yes cross

wow we gotta do this ghost hunting oh absolutely that sounds good we gotta do it and we don't run it personally yeah we don't we have to try it and we don't run it, personally.

Yeah, we don't. We have to try it and we definitely aren't part of it. No. And anyone who says different is sexist. Yeah. So, be careful. I also love that, like, it's it's like, what is his

connection to the place? You know what I mean? What's the, like, just a random spot in the loft of this random building in LA. Of a bar, and he went to get sober, and mom's showing up at a bar. That's why mom was so proud, because of all the temptations around.

There you go, there you go. That's it. Cross, cross. I love Linda, I love Linda. Everyone cross. You're at a seance. You're like. Are you with us, Spirit?

Ouija board? It's like, yes. Oh my God, it's here. Oh my God, you guys, it's here. It's here. It's here. It has to be my dad. It has to be your dad.

I knew it. I knew it. Knock, knock. I'm late. Is it talking about how pretty I am? Get in. Sit down. Sit down. Sit down. Sit down. Sit down. Sit down. Mom, it's dad. It's dad. I know you've been wanting to talk to him, and he's here.

He's here. I swear to God, it's literally dad. Okay. Okay. Oh, God. Ask him why did he talk to the neighbor so much? Were they having an affair? Oh, ask him that. Please, please. Okay.

Okay. Let me hook in my, let me hook in my, my, my machine that converts ghost into FM waves. Uh, and it makes a voice come. Um. You have one of those? Yes. Oh my God. Mom, this is the best birthday present ever.

I can't believe we're talking to Daddy right now. Okay. Yeah. Let me get my dousing rods out. Spirit. Go ahead. Were you having an affair with the neighbor? Hey, everybody.

Dad? Dad, is that you? Randall? Randall. Is that you, Randall? Are you with us? Randall's here. That's him. That's what he would say every day when he would come home. He'd say, oh, Randall's here. Oh, my God.

That's my dad. Play those dowsing sticks like the drums. Yes, Randall. Yeah. Again, he's deflecting. This is so like him. This is confirmation. No, mom, stop.

Deflecting, deflecting, deflecting. This is dad. He wants to hear music. He might not have music in whatever realm he's in. This is confirmation. No, Mom, stop. Deflecting, deflecting, deflecting. This is Dad. He wants to hear music. He might not have music in whatever realm he's in. Hell. I'm in hell. Okay, that does go to my theories about him. Okay, okay.

Dad, are you sure you don't mean like, oh, hell yeah, that music's so rockin'. Nope, I'm burnin' in hell. It does exist. Spirit, why did you go to hell? Was it the affair? Is it because you slept with the neighbor? Um, nope. War crime.

I swear not sleeping with the neighbor. I knew about the war crime. He was just friends with Tiffany, Mom. He was just friends with her. And they both love to bake. and he was just borrowing a lot of baking supplies. I know I've said this before, but do you think women with the name of Tiffany are just platonic

friends with any man? Mom, we've talked about your wave of feminism is not where we are right now. And so just because someone's name is Tiffany? I don't know one woman's name that starts with a t that is not a hussy mom can we talk about your rampant internal misogyny later and can we focus where dad is in the room with us right now oh being a feminist

means you have to like every woman whatever no that's not oh my god mom that's not what we're doing right now holy shit this is an incredible moment dad just confirmed that hell exists and you're talking about feminism oh i knew hell exists i lived it okay i lived right oh chill out baby that's so dad that's so dad whenever'd get in a fight He would just say that And it would just kind of end it It melts me every time He'd go Oh chill out babe

I could hear it from upstairs They'd be screaming They'd be screaming They'd be like Well I'm gonna leave this house This is the last time And he'd go Chill out baby

And then they'd be quiet And they'd just be kissing Kissing all night Spirit Is there kissing in hell? and then they'd be quiet and they'd just be kissing, kissing all night. Spira, is there kissing in hell? Yeah, but it's not good. Only bad. Writes it down in a journal.

Only bad kissing in hell. Yeah, when you kiss, you actually just suck up fire and you burn your mouth. Ooh, ouch. Excuse me me simon is this new do you get this kind of level of communication with spirits often very rare this is a powerful this is clearly a very powerful entity your father clearly had some very serious connection uh to you and to this world and he's paying for his crimes and I'm sure his crimes were severe to be this level of sort of demonic presence

I mean to be fair he was just a collector of Nazi paraphernalia but it's not that's illegal hmm hmm spirit yeah were you just a collector hey just a you just a collector?

Hey, just a collector. Just a collector. You're in hell now. You don't need to lie. I am just a collector. Just a collector. Did I think their ideas? Randall, don't get started.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Bad reception. He liked the economics of it. That was his big thing. You see, there's bad service in hell. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's part of hell. That's part of hell.

Just a collector. Just a collector. I miss you. Oh, that's the daddy I know. I miss you so much. He's talking to me. He can also be talking to me. What the fuck?

Spirit, were you talking to your wife or daughter? Yeah. Okay. Takes up my journal. Nazis go to hell. Thank God. Underline, underline, underline. Thank God. Spirit. What? line underline underline spirit but are you busy or something i mean i have like stuff i should be

doing what what are you supposed to be doing in hell that we're distracting you from spirit oh god i gotta go i gotta go eat a bunch of hot coals this afternoon i have to i have a i have to eat 10 000 of them they schedule it for you yeah or else i'll get like dunked into lava and that hurts so i eat 10,000 hot coals today by the end of four, like by four o'clock. I gotta do that. What else do I gotta do? Oh, one of the things is you just gotta go wait in line at the post office. Hell, I gotta go do that for a couple hours. Spirit.

What? Again, I feel bad like I'm interrupting you. Do you have company in hell or are you forced to live out these punishments in solitude? No, you're surrounded by a bunch of everybody else in hell. Guess who's here?

Who do you think's here that you wouldn't think should be? Tiffany. Tiffany died? Cool it about Tiffany. And yes, she died. And yes, she's here. Tiffany, are you with us? Tiffany, spirit, are you here?

What? Did you have an affair with Randall in life? Okay. Oh, Randall? Oh, yes. I knew it. I knew it. Is that Christine?

Is that Christine up there? Yes, but do not call me Tina ever. Hi, Miss Tina. Hi, babe. How's it going up there? I'm here down, down, here down deep chilling with Randy. Well, I hope you burn for eternity. Great to hear from you.

Oh, babe, I will. You already know it. We all are. I'm down here with Randy, and it's getting hot as fuck down here. So don't even worry about it, bitch. Well, I just wanted you to know that anytime you- Cross! What?

Whoa! Sorry, what time you sit- What? Whoa. Whoa. Sorry, what were you saying, Tina? That your cookies were bad. They tasted too- You have been putting double the amount of baking soda when you were supposed to be putting baking powder. The way it works is if you don't have baking soda,

you put twice as much baking powder. But you didn't have- Oh. God, please. Forget about it. You were saying- The way it works is if you don't have baking soda, you put twice as much baking powder. But you didn't have. God, please. Forget about it. You were saying. Oh, I'm so sorry. You were too busy measuring out your baking soda being powdered. Meanwhile, I was fucking your husband next door.

So I guess look who's having the better life, sweetheart. And yeah, I'm in hell. But at least I'm having fun down here. What are you doing up there? Still cleaning your tablespoons? Still cleaning your measuring cups? Yes, but that is one of my greatest joys. So this doesn't hurt my feelings at all.

Tiffany, she loves cleaning that. It's like something that she really loves to do. I sing my song. Clean your cups. Clean your spoons. Clean everything for the clean, clean food. I will say you are good at that

cleaning. Yes. I miss that cleaning, because here in hell, nothing's clean. Look, everything's dirty, just like me. Okay, well, Randall is messy. Randall did have a Madonna whore complex, so you know, maybe I

would have slept with Randall if he ever tried, but no, he put me on a pedestal, so, you know, maybe I would have slept with Randall if he ever tried, but no, he put me on a pedestal, so that's why he had to go to the whore next door. The whore next door. Is that what you called me? Thank you so much. Also, Mom, clearly you and Dad slept together if you

had me. So it's not like, I'm sure the romance must have been there. Right, Dad? There must have been some sparks in there no he jerked it across the room and it landed in there i mean i wanted it don't i mean i don't want yeah we all wanted it everybody wanted it to happen but i was like there's got to be a better way than actually doing it and so it was tina tina was like hey tina don't call me tina spirit randall are you there still yeah i was talking about how i jerked off sorry my cum landed in her mom right all the crossing i think i torced my rotator cuff or so i'm in a lot of pain oh i think i dislocated oh no but randall spirit tiffany spirit i have what i have a loophole ah you should bring this to satan to lucifer to get out of hell because you never had

sex with your wife the marriage was never consummated so it wasn't cheating technically you never had sex outside of marriage with your wife. That is not why they're in hell. This is nice of you, but it's not what got me to hell, man. What about you, Tiffany? Spirit, what got you to hell? Oh, we collected together. Okay.

Yeah. Another underline. We went to a lot of rally collections. Rally collections. We loved those. lot of rally collections. Rally collections. We loved those. So that's why. No, there's a very clear reason I'm down here. But we bonded.

We got to do it together, didn't we, Randy? Yeah, yeah, we did. Yeah, we did. Now, if I could just excuse us. We're busy. We have some hot coals to eat. Yeah. And that's actually a lot less painful than talking to fucking Tina right now.

Christina. Christina! Christina! Don't you dare give me a nickname. We are not familiar in that way. Even if we shared Randy. Well, I guess we technically didn't share Randy because Randy was never... You never had Randy to begin with. At least

in you, Tina. You're acting like that bothered me. I just bring it up a lot because it's fine. Tina. You love bringing it up. Clearly. You love it so much.

I understand. Yeah, I could talk about it all day long because it doesn't bother me. Was that the only time it ever happened? It was just the once and it landed perfectly? Or was there any kind of practice he felt bad after that i did i felt bad after that because it landed well just because he felt it was degrading to me and i didn't mind but you know whatever yeah she you kept talking about it where i was like oh she must be so mad at me about doing that. And then you're like, no, I'm talking about it because I love it so much.

So I was like, I guess she loved it. So I did okay. So I wanted to play. Whoa. Yeah, rip his shoulder out of his pocket. What did I do? You got involved in married people's business. That's what you did.

It's my job. You hired me. Not not me also daughter there i i'm sorry but i have to say this there's no way you were faithful to him i don't buy that for a fucking second what are you saying about my mom right now are you kidding me i think your mom had a lot of affairs or at least a couple what are you a psychic? Are you really a psychic? Are you psychic? Mom, are you okay? Are you psychic? Mom, calm down. Mom. Sit in your chair. Sit back in your chair.

No, I need to hear. I'm grabbing him by the shoulders. I need to hear. Mom! Jesus! Mom, sit down. What the hell's wrong with you? I am a psychic. I have many abilities. I can read read minds i can talk to ghosts i also i also had a very active ashley madison account remember the cheating website

most of the women were bots right but not all of the women were they, Tina. That's true. My name is Christina, but if you weren't a bot, you could really clean up on there. Wait. You got to tell me the truth. Who did you sleep with? Who didn't I sleep with? Mother. Tell me.

Did you bob at the old hill? Oh, at the old hill and the new hill. I slept with every bob at every hill. How's hell now, Randy? Whoa. What about CJ? Absolutely. God, Mom.

CJ and C-Senior. Wait, what? I'm sorry. C-Senior? I'm just spitballing here. CJ and C Senior. Wait, what? I'm sorry. C Senior? I'm just spitballing here. If you were having all of these affairs, is it possible that your daughter is the result of one of those affairs

and not a random coming across the room? Absolutely, it seems more plausible that someone jerking off across the room and shooting it right into my uterus would be more, that's more possible. That's how it had to be.

That's the story, and that's a beautiful story. There's no way in which that's not my conception. And that's where she just, the red curly hair she has is a recessive gene from, goes back centuries in our family lineage. It's not Seamus O'Brien down the street, obviously.

And everyone talks about how it's not constantly. Everyone always says that it's not that and we don't have the same eyes and smile. Seamus, are you there, Seamus? Seamus Spirit. Oh, Toto. Oh, Toto hates ha. Ha ha ha. It's me.

Oh, yes. Seamus, Spirit, what did you do to go to hell? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Seamus, when did you die? I saw you this morning. Oh, shoot. Honestly, just like two hours ago. Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry.

Spirit, how did it happen? Oh, you know, I walked off a cliff. Not on the old hill. I did it. What's happening everybody?

We just wanted to check in and see if you slept with Christina. Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Huh. We slept together all the time. All the time?

There's no way in which you started maybe in the fall of 1995? What? I mean. We've been doing it for much longer than that. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. Oh, longer and harder.

Longer and there was a time when I was much harder. Come on, there's a line. That's a gross thing to say in front of your daughter, man. And that's a really, we've been, I'm fine with dad jerking across the room and it landing in you. That's misogyny. That's your internalized misogyny now, isn't it? Daddy can do whatever daddy wants to do. No, I'm saying you can talk about.

Mommy has to be perfect. That's not what I'm saying. That's not what I said. Please stop saying daddy and mommy. I would rather you said mom and dad. Just for my sake. Spirits. I have one last question.

Cross. Fuck! My arm comes off. What is it? I think I'm fading. I think I'm crossing over. Do you think I'll be with you guys or maybe hopefully in heaven? Oh, well, that is a good question.

Also, would you like me to call 911 or no? It's too late, Tina. It's too late. Too late. Please. I didn't know you could die from dislocated shoulder well no i mean it was the fact my arm got ripped off from all the process i can't see stuff because i'm on the other eye right all i'm seeing is fire and brimstone fire and brimstone that's it it. No windows. So, sorry.

I guess, like, what's the worst thing you've ever did when you're alive? Because if it's as bad as us collecting Nazi paraphernalia, then you're for sure coming here. But it's hard to say because I guess we don't know you. I stole a bunch of money from an old man. But he was super racist. What do we think? What's the math on that? He was a really bad guy, but I took advantage of his failing memory.

$300,000. It's how I can afford all the ghosting equipment. Did he have a family? Yeah, he had a son, one living son, who was also a piece of shit. I don't know. So I think I'm good, right? The math checks out.

He was very Robin Hood-y. I could still love someone who stole from a piece of shit. Mom, he's dying. This isn't about you finding a new suitor. If you want to get one less ride in before the end. No, she doesn't love you. That's not what this is. Yes, baby.

I love you. Oh, yes. Oh, my God. Do it with her. Well, if Seamus O'Brien Still a boyer As always When he dies

He just fully is in limbo There's nothing to see, nothing to hear It's just endless void It's kind of nice Which is very poetic Considering that he was talking to both sides His entire life Yeah, oh my god

Oh my god, think about it Oh my god Makes you think Makes you think Alph, should we do our last segment? Let's do it This Took me all week long.

So I did forget to tell you guys about this segment at the beginning, but basically it's what shook you all week long. So Marcy and Betsy, what has been shaking your asses for better or for worse? What can't you stop thinking about? It could be positive. It could be a bone you got to pick. Any, truly, literally anything. What shook me all week long?

This is hard. We needed a heads up. You didn't need a heads up. I can start. I can start. What's been shaking me? So I go through breakfast phases. If I'm digging something, that will be like a meal I'm fixating on for the better part of two weeks.

And so it has, I go back and forth between either an egg dish or blueberry oatmeal. And so the past two weeks it's been oatmeal with some blueberries and some nut butter and some peanut, some maple syrup. And it's been incredible. But now, holy shit. I look,

when I go to bed, I think about this breakfast. I'm like, I can't wait to have it in the morning. And it's two fried eggs cooked in like Trader Joe's crunchy chili oil crisp. Yum. Fried with that. And then so I have that with half of a buttered English muffin.

And then after I have that savory little spicy, then I have the other half of the English muffin with butter and a little bit of raspberry jam. Whoa. And then that with a cup of coffee. Gourmet. That's good. It is amazing.

Wow. And it was, I had it today. I had it before we recorded. And even just like the smell of like the chili, it burned. I got some oil flash in my hand, but it was worth it when I was flipping it. You okay?

Yeah. I'm fine. I'm fully damaged, which I'm good. But it was so yummy. It was worth it when I was flipping it. You okay? Yeah. I'm fine. I'm fully damaged. I'm good. But it was so yummy. It was so scrummy. So that's what's been shaking me is chile oil eggs. That's fun.

And savory and sweet English muffin. Ooh, baby. That's good. I love an English muffin. I've been like, they kind kind of my now go-to bread. Because like sandwiches are fun on them. Like, oh. And just truly as a snack,

just being like, I'm going to just butter an English muffin and it's going to taste so good. I sometimes forget about them. I'll be on a toast kick and then I'll have an English muffin and I'll be like, oh shit. And then I'll forget about them.

And I do the same thing with bagels. Anyway, so that's what's been shaking me. Okay, what's been shaking me? I can go, I can go. Give you guys some more time. Also, this is a rare episode because normally we know the segment's coming every week, we think about it and we have nothing.

We have all day, so this is like par for the course. This is just shocking for us And usually every week I go Think of something positive Think of a positive And then the only things I can come up with are You know what pisses me off

And so speaking of what pisses me off I moved in October I used to take the Chicago red line A lot And now I take the brown line a lot because of where I moved. The red line has a pretty bad reputation. It's one of the train lines that runs all night. It gets a little rough sometimes.

I've had some very stressful experiences on the red line. One time, two men got into a fight in my lap because I was just sitting and out of nowhere, a guy tackled another guy into me and I was like suddenly involved um and i was like and i i'm always defending the red line because i took it for so many years like

every day like i you know it it gets a bad rap you know and people like fear monger about it and and i took it for the first time this week in like three months since i moved and i literally i stepped onto the train car and a guy starts throwing punches at another guy like the literal second i get on the train for the first time in months there is just an active fight breaking out oh my god they fight one of them gets off at the next stop and i'm'm like, thank God that's over. And then the guy who had been in the fight, who stayed on the train, picks me for some reason to be the guy that he's going to vent to about the fight. And he's like, man, that was such bullshit. Like, you wouldn't believe what that guy said about.

And I'm just like sitting there having to be like, okay. And I was taking it like 20 stops. I was going so fucking far um so that shook me and i just i wish that uh you know i wish that that wouldn't happen because it's when it's convenient the red line is convenient and when it's not it's just oh yeah oh that's what shook me this week that's what shook you damn that sucks yesterday's what shook you. Damn. That sucks. Yesterday, I was going to a little local coffee shop called Starbucks. Thank you for supporting small business, by the way.

And I had ordered a head on the app. You got to redeem your stars. Don't let them waste, guys. No way. Big lesson. Big lesson. So I had ordered ahead on the app. But as I was walking in, an unhoused man asked me if I could buy him a coffee with cream and sugar. He made it very clear he needed a lot of sugar, probably because he might have been going through some withdrawals, you know, that helps with that. So I was like, okay, let me, I had to go back to my car to get my phone because I'd already ordered a head and I was just going to run in and grab it. So I had to go get my phone so I could pay for it on my app.

Got to redeem those stars again. Got to redeem them. So I get him like a, a venti hot coffee with a bunch of sugars. And I just like walked over cause I was, I wasn't like engaging with him too much cause I was running late. So, uh, so I think he just thought I was ignoring him. Um, but I gave him the coffee and the sugars and then, uh, and he was thanking me, but he,

it was kind of hard to understand. Like he just had like, maybe was missing a lot of teeth. So it was a little harder to understand him. Uh, and he was thanking me and I was like, yeah, yeah, great. Have a good day. Uh, and i got in my car and then he comes over and taps on my window and i roll it down and he was like i would never hurt a woman i would i love women are queens my mama used to beat my and this is all that i could understand so i'm just gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna just truncateate it and give you the highs that I understand. He's like, my mama would whoop my ass. But I love women.

They are queens. They do so much for everything, everyone. And then he said something about Nancy Pelosi that I wish I could have understood. And then he just kept going back to his mama whooping his ass but how much he loved women and i just started laughing and he started laughing and i was like you have the best day and he was and it was like a very funny but uh nice exchange that um that i i don't know i was like that's great yeah i wish you could have heard the Nancy Pelosi thing. I wonder if it was positive or negative. You're leaving me like,

that was such a positive experience. Also, don't care. Maybe Nancy Pelosi was his mom, and he was like, Nancy Pelosi used to beat my ass. My mommy. But guess what? He's like, they need to know.

I feel like, ah. The truth needs to get out. That's wonderful. That's a very good what shook me. I am. I went to I went to Lake Arrowhead for a couple of days. Fun. And on our first day there, it was snowing.

And it was just the most fun, like just standing out on a giant deck, looking out over Lake Arrowhead with the biggest snowflakes falling down. And it was just so wonderful being up in the mountains. I love, that's like a movie. It was really, really great. It was fun. That's so awesome.

Leppy snowflakes, I love them. Big, huge, huge snowflakes. It was fun. That's so awesome. Leppy snowflakes. I love them. Big, huge, huge snowflakes. It was awesome. Hell yeah. I'm so jealous. Thank you guys so much. This was such a blast. Plugs, where can people find you? You guys have a million shows

and projects and everything going on. That is true. A funny feeling, we're on the HeadGum Network. We're talking about spooky stuff every week. Betsy and I are on a team at UCB called Search History. And the third Friday of every month, we have a show and it has some of the funniest people around, not including us.

Betsy and I are bad. Everyone else is very funny. Thank you for saying that. I was gonna, yeah. And then personally, I have two other podcasts. One's called 90 Day Babe with Nicole Byer.

It's on Patreon and the other is called, obviously we talk about 90 Day Fiance. And then the other is called L is for Losers with Jessica Jardin. We talk about all the Bravo shows.

Also on Patreon. Betsy! I have a Patreon with Mano Agapian called We Love Trash and we just celebrate everything that's trashy. Yeah.

I love it. Yeah. Check it out. Check it out. Hell. Yes. I love it. You can find Alfred

on Instagram at AlfredInIt. You can find the show on Instagram at ReviewReview. Reddit, r slash ReviewReview. And guys,

don't sleep on that. ReviewReview Discord on the HeadGum Discord. It gets real fun in there. show on instagram at review review reddit r slash review review and guys don't sleep on that review review discord on the head gum discord um it gets real fun in there and i forget to say this every single week so i'm going to say it this week please leave a rating on apple podcasts or for alf's sake for my sake just you know it warms my heart to see those ratings. Just the most desperate, earnest plea. That was awful. I hated that.

I love that we've gone from Alf being like, please send a theme song to, oh God, rate the show. It's like, now that there's a theme song, I have to move on to my next kind of desperate groveling. He'll never be satisfied. Nope.

Not until we're the number one, not until we, we unseat the daily you know that's all the goal you hear that michael babarro we're coming for you do you think michael babarro can do improv probably um we'll get him as a guest uh and you can find riley on instagram.com only the browser not the app at riley and spa and on twitter.com. Only the browser, not the app. At Riley and Spa. And on Twitter.com, for as long as it lasts. At Riley Coyote.

And like we say every week, our catchphrase that we all know it. We all say it together. We can all say it together at the same time. Because we all know it. Yep. We love you. Yeah. we are in yellow see you guys next week bye that was a hit gum original