Review Revue - Haunted Houses 2 (w/ Ryan Gaul!)

Episode Date: October 26, 2021

Everyone's favorite uncle, Ryan Gaul, joins our two protagonists as they read reviews about HAUNTED HOUSES, fan over Two and a Half Men, and waste a cashier's time buying contraceptives.  ��   IG: @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjames Twitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardee   Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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This is a HeadGum Original. What do I feel like doing tonight? I know. I'm going to review. Review. Review. In song. Night when Amir is sleeping.

And Horowitz saws a wood with his snores. A single podcast is recording. Content to be slightly abhorred It's a snapshot of the average existence Of people who just want to help But the hosts on this show are so insistent On making fun of people on ELV Their voices stuck in my head ringing And I don't know what I listen for

But perhaps I should thank them for one little thing 10% off white purple ink Screw it, I'll leave one star for the guests that they feature And another for the goofy names they make A third for the scenes, a fourth just for Rodney And a fifth, cause I admit that it's true I love Reveal Reveal Ooh, yeah

Alright Oh! My God! Get out of the pool! Get out of the pool! Oh my god. Get out of the pool. Get out of the pool. What? That made my night. That was, who made that?

Who the fuck made that? That was from Jesse. That was from Jesse Bloodgood. I'm so happy I'm mad. I mean, people saw the episode title. We got Ryan Gall on the day. He's back, baby. I'm on the attack.

That song was amazing. That song was. That song was amazing. Have you ever seen Over the Garden Wall? Good night. Really? you should really watch it you leave it's a masterpiece it's it's it's a it's a mini it's like a cartoon network mini series like just one season event and it's it's phenomenal the age episode is 10 minutes long of what i would get i mean it sounds like an after party from the haunted mansion at Disneyland.

Yeah. That's what it is. It's spooky. It's fun. It's just like, it's pretty incredible storytelling. It's really beautiful. It's like the perfect Halloween watch. And you have kids, right?

It's fun for the whole family. It's funny. It's scary. It's smart. And you have kids, right? It's fun for the whole family. It's funny. It's scary. It's smart. The music's really good. It's fantastic. They're not very brave. It's unbelievable.

The kids are not very brave. I don't know. But it's a little scary. It's not that scary. No, listen, I'm also not brave. I watched it alone in my house. And there was like a... There's a part, one of the the characters it's like a dog with

like a big this isn't a rational fear that i have um it is it's like kids timber it is kids tim burton i have a fear speaking of like we're in spooky season one of my fears and let me know if you guys get this and if you don't that's fine then it doesn't matter and it's stupid and it's not real but if you guys do get it then it's very real um but okay of like something that scares me and let's go around the horn of like what's a what's a random thing that scares you that you feel like doesn't scare a lot of other people so for me a thing that scares me i am what we call in the industry a coward so a lot of things scare me but this specific thing is like when there's a bright light source in like pitch black. So it's like in this show, it's like these eyes out of the woods are like incredibly bright and neon.

And there's no other light source with it. That shit's terrifying. So like a dark ride at like Disneyland freaks me the hell out because it's just a light source from nowhere. And that's very eerie to me and do you does that make sense i know it sounds right but that's creepy as hell i mean if you think about what you just described that should be that that should be scary to any human being no light source and nothing's that great it's don't think so. It's shocking. It's a shocking, scary thing in the middle of pleasant blackness. Then pleasant blackness.

Pleasant blackness. And all of a sudden it's like, boom, something unknown is happening. Yes. Yeah, of course. Yes. Yeah. And so there's a shot of that. It's evolutionarily scary.

Yes. There's a shot of that in Over the Garden Wall. And I was alone in my house. I was making an old fashion for myself while i was watching and that thing popped up on screen and out loud just to myself i say oh no oh no and i run to the other room while the computer is still playing the show it wasn't even on a tv sure't, because that's too big. It's like a 13 inch face. Oh, God.

It's too scary. Before we go around the horn, I just want to give Jesse his plug. It's Jesse Bloodgood. He wants to plug his music. You can find him on all streaming services for music under his name, Jesse Bloodgood. So awesome, Jesse. And he says, when Riley mentioned

Over the Garden Wall, he was compelled to send in some kind of cover because it's been his family tradition to watch the series every October. I'm going to watch it. Since it came out. It's fantastic, Jesse. Yeah, Ryan, you'd love it. Ryan, what's a fear?

I'm going to watch it in his name, by the way. Yes. You're going to tell your family. They're going to be like, hey, man, who? I'll be like, it's for Jesse. Leave us alone. Jesse and I are trying to get something started uh no here's what scares me and it's recent yeah when i i've been hearing things in the middle of the night this is not a joke i've been hearing things in the middle of the night.

Like what? Like sounds. And then I will, it's only happened like three times, but I'll close my eyes and be like, you're not hearing anything, Ryan. And then I'm not kidding you. I'll see the face of what I can only describe

as a devil or demon in my closed eyes Ryan yep no and I'll usually and then I'll and then I will normally like not normally I've done it three times I get up and I'm like I gotta get a glass of water I'm not drunk I'm not and I'm like, I got to get a glass of water. I'm not drunk. I'm not high. I'm not any of that. I'll go and just sit on the toilet and like try to pretend nothing ever happened. Well, I've told you my ghost story in depth. So what if your house is haunted? I don't think my house is haunted. You're possessed.

You are clinically You're possessed. You are clinically and legally possessed. I think I may be legally possessed. I don't know about clinically. I think I am, well, I'm probably clinically possessed. Wait, so what, can you describe the sounds? It's so creepy. So creepy. He starts speaking in tongues.

It's nothing crazy, but it's like. No, it's children, like, it's children, like, screaming or giggling or somewhere in between. And somebody told me, like, oh, you can go through phases of your life where. Chef, your face. Where like you. It's not. And your ears like changes or depending on like you could have a mood swing and there you could hear things through black or white noise because I play white noise when I sleep. And then I'll shut off the white noise and I'll still hear it. Let's just say it's tinnitus.

Can we just all agree that it's tinnitus? I don't know, but I'll tell you that. Oh, that's really good. It's the one thing in my life that really, it has frightened me because I was like, I don't know how to define it. I don't know how to define it. I don't know how to put it in a box. I don't know how to, I don't know what to do with the information.

That's terrifying. Jeffrey, you know, I'm like, I'm sort of a skeptic. People tell me ghost stories all the time and i'm like yeah probably that's not real it's just something that's coming out of your head this i i'm like i don't know i don't know what's happening maybe i'm going insane but maybe i'm hearing something maybe i'm hearing something or maybe it's anything in between you know so that scares me no

and you're not easily scared yeah you're not easily scared so we've got my fear of a light in the darkness Ryan's possessed and Jeff you're scared of scorpions the little stingers I don't really want them in my flesh there we go

yours was easier. Mine was. Don't want them in my flesh. No, I really, that's like my biggest tangible fear. I'm trying to think of like the spookiest fear, but I don't want to take up all the time. But like in horror movies or in horror experiences, I'm trying to think of like what the,

you know, the archetype is. Yeah. It really bothers me. Um, I think it's demons. I watched insidious by myself for the first time in my little basement, uh,

which is my bedroom. And, uh, it was fine. You okay? Now I'll be okay. Does it, does it scare you because it's when you say demon

is that like a religious thing? I'm not a religious person and maybe that's why it scares me is that if demons exist it would challenge my beliefs but just the idea that there's something you can't see or feel that is pure evil

and I don't think I believe in that because I don't think that anything's pure evil but like if there is that's obvious that's terrifying yeah yeah yeah you could say it's scary

speaking of scary we're here to talk about haunted houses haunted houses part 2 you sure are come on yeah we told no it was gonna be wash and folds but it's actually haunted houses before we do that can i ask you riley you say you don't watch yes uh horror movies you don't have you watched any no I do not know. No. I have seen a couple. You know, I've seen like, I watched Insidious. When I say watched, I listened to Insidious because I had my eyes closed the whole time.

Seriously, like, no, I don't do it. I get scared of everything. I also have very high levels of anxiety generally, so like horror movies is not a good idea for me. Yeah, why make it worse? Like, I can't as I was even looking up reviews

again, and I remember having the same thoughts last year when we did this I was like, what? Just for me personally, I'm like, this doesn't sound like, why would i pay money to be more anxious than i already am i pay my therapist to feel less this way um there's even like there's a house speaking of haunted houses there's a house in my neighborhood um that has halloween decorations up year round but they change it depending on the holiday.

So they'll have like spooky Christmas, spooky New Year's, spooky Valentine's, spooky St. Patrick's, like everything. They run the gamut of spooky things. And it is, I get scared walking by it and the things don't even move. I am so like, there's something about like fake. I'm scared of a lot of shit.

That's probably better. I always think people who are scared of a lot of things are probably better people than people who are like, yeah, I love seeing people tortured through these mazes. I'll be walking with Daniel and we'll be walking by the house and if it's like I'm on his right side like closer to the lawn when I know we're approaching the house I will like not so subtly move to his other side and he'll be like you scared? Skeleton? Yeah of course Skeleton

I think I'm in the middle of the Venn diagram between you and Gall in terms of fear I like it but I'm not gonna do the waver ones I'm not gonna do the waver ones. I'm not gonna do Bane. Blackout House. But I do like it.

Yeah. Oh, that was what it was. That was the one, yeah. I think I like it in the way that I like comedy, where it's like, it scratches the same itch. No, it's like, yeah, it's like,

I'm not laughing at anything right now, so let me watch a show, because that's gonna make me laugh. And it's like, same yeah, it's like I'm not laughing at anything right now, so let me watch a show because that's going to make me laugh. And it's like, same thing. It's like I'm feeling at a stasis, and I just want to feel anything in any direction a strong emotion. So you watch horror and feel something. Yes. Oh, you're talking to me, right?

Yes. Yes, I do. Yeah. So, Gull, you said that you just went to Halloween Horror Nights twice in this Halloween season already. Yeah, and I, you know that you just went to Halloween Horror Nights twice in this Halloween season already and I you know I just enjoy the spectacle of it all

were there any mazes you particularly liked this year and I also love that movie so I don't know if you have seen the movie I assume oh you have seen the movie i have the older ones those are fine with me like yeah exorcist i can totally get down with exorcist that's so interesting like movies like that get to me much more than a movie like a slasher.

Something like, you know, a Friday the 13th or a Halloween where you're watching somebody's head get bashed in. I'm like, ugh, woof. Sure. But also I'm like, eh, it's just, that's just graphics and, you know, somebody designed that and that's not real. But then when you get to

the religious stuff with the exorcist i'm like oh what if that's real that that could yeah when i when you talk about demonic infestation and like people who are like, I don't know. Um, my house has, my house has a feeling in it and things are happening to my children and things are happening to my wife in bed and she's waking up in the middle of the night with scratches on her, her back. I'm like, that's that, that creeps me out much more than watching somebody get their head sliced off. Yeah. Gory stuff, I'm just not a fan of that. But yeah, slasher stuff is less scary to me than demonic stuff.

And it's so wild because it's like I am much more likely to get killed by an axe murder than I am by a demon probably. But again, who knows the demon stuff is like oh that could also well it's scary like an insidious the the it's a thing they they and I think that's probably why the movie got made and like why it was a hit at the time was like oh it's not just this house is haunted yeah people are haunted creepy and I'm like that's unbelievably unsettling because then it's like you can't escape it no earthbound authority or specialists can help you can't move

you're literally yeah yeah red fin will do nothing for you it doesn't does not matter how much you can make on your house you're screwed yeah no yeah just but with with ghost movies it's like okay just don't live in a victorian or move i i've often said that i'm like if something happened where i was truly felt threatened i'd be gone so fast so fast i'd be like yeah i saw something in the corner i'm done i'm gone I'm gone we're out of here you're kind of experiencing that now so yeah it sounds like you're haunted though it sounds like you are haunted potentially let's get to our first review who wants to kick us off I may be I may be haunted okay uh I'll kick us off because I've been really excited about this for four days.

This is a one-star review from three weeks ago of the Jekyll and Hyde Haunted Asylum in New York. Okay. Usually we come up with a name, but I'm not going to for this one because it's so perfect and a name we would come up with anyways. This is one star from Michelle F***. Wait, is that her real name? I mean, there's a chance it's a screen name. You gotta pick a different name because you can't. That's Michelle F***.

She posted it. Anonymity doesn't exist when you already posted the review. Michelle Fong. Michelle Fong. Jeff and I saw a tweet the other day that was written by claire penis and i think that's one of the funniest things i've ever seen the tweet that was funnier than the tweet the tweet was also pretty good it was like i like doing doing your mom but but it was written by claire penis and that was the cherry on top all right so michelle thong five stars you said

one star never mind it's's opposite of what you said. Save your money. Went last year and waited over two hours. They don't go by reservation time, but whenever you get in line. The whole walkthrough was five minutes, and at the end, they push you out to the dumpsters, and that's it. Absolute scam. What? It's just like, all right, how do we get rich quick?

A Halloween horror experience. That's amazing. Yeah, man, I don't know. I mean, like, we could do a Halloween horror experience. I was also experience I've been baking a lot recently and I feel like my cupcakes Are kind of getting off the chain So I was thinking like small bakery business And we could start up from there Okay I was thinking

Halloween horror experience And let's start there Right that's a good foundation We don't even have to Make it that long people just want to leave spooked i i don't know if you guys have heard this before but people won't remember what you say to them or how long you spend with them people only remember how you make them feel right so let's scare someone once and get them out the door and charge 40 at the door at the door and that's that's

to me that's as long as, that's the easiest way. As long as we make enough money to take our spring break trip, like, listen, man, I just, as long as it's quick and no one gets hurt, that's all I care about, all right, man? Cut to the opening. Is this where we, is this where I enter? Okay. Yes, it is.

Ooh! Happy Halloween! Is this seriously the line? I've paid a lot of money. Is this really the line? Yeah, it's reverse first come first serve. Reverse! No, I get it.

We try to prioritize walk-ins, so walk-ins get to go first and appointment people who clearly want to be here. Wait, did you say reverse? We kind of make it cute. It's part of the experience! Reverse first... we try to prioritize walk-ins. So walk-ins get to go first and appointment people who clearly want to be here. Wait, did you say reverse? We kind of make it cute. It's part of the experience.

Reverse first serve? Reverse serve? Reverse first come first serve. Come first serve. Halloween. All right, back of the line, serve. The sooner you come, you go to the, like if I was first here. The longer you wait.

That's what I'm curious about because I feel like I was one of the first people here. And that police officer, I think, but that may be a costume, pushed me to the back of the line. And he kept saying, RVS. RVS, yes. Reverse first come, first serve. And we nailed the acronym. Why wouldn't you call it

RFS? Or RFC? It would be, wouldn't it? It would be RFC. Why are you watching us workshop this right now wait just get to the back line this is part sorry to drop the act this is part we're doing

like a whole psychological thriller thing just like what's getting this is right this is good what you're feeling now is what you're meant to be feeling just okay sorry this is just like i'm not used to this much people moving i'm sorry stressed? I'm sorry, no, I'm sorry. I came alone to this. I am stressed. I'm very, I'm very stressed. Two hours later. Two hours later.

Cut to the back of the line. I'm sorry. I've been here three and a half hours. Oh yeah, I've been like 315. It's not looking good for us, is it? Hey, five what? Five hours? Oh, then you should be...

How are you ahead of me? I've been here for five hours. Yeah. You gotta get behind them. And they said something that was like RRC... Wait, RFC... RKRKFC?

I think that's what it said. RKRV... R-C-V-S-K-F-C I think that's what it said R-K-R-C-V-S R-C-V-S-K-F-C We see they're finally trickling towards the front. People have stopped coming Oh finally Thank god, here we go Okay, welcome I'm back

I'm ready to go Wait, did you Sorry, did you leave and come back?'m ready to go. Wait, did you, sorry. No, no, no, no, no. You have to go to the back of the line. I did not leave and come back. I've been, I went to the back of the line and I am ready to go through this house, which by the way, looks like a trailer.

Oh, sorry, I'm late. I have my ticket. I know my reservation was for earlier, but I just got here. Is there any way, I'm more than happy to go to the back of the line. I know my reservation was for earlier, but I just got here. Is there any way? I'm more than happy to go to the back of the line. No. Wait a minute.

Oh my God. Oh, thank you. I'm so excited. You guys are the best. Thank you so much. Ooh, have fun or don't. It's both are scary. So I have to wait till she makes it all the way through

before I can go? Yes. Yes. Yes, you do. Yes, you do. Yes, you do. It's kind of a liability issue. We don't want you to step on anybody's toes. It's like a people moving thing.

It's a crowding thing. But it's so worth it. It's so worth it. You're not even going to believe it. It's so worth it. And luckily, you won't have anyone on your heels. Yeah, there's nobody behind me. You're going to be totally alone in there.

So don't even worry. It's like you are going to have the spookiest experience of all going through it alone. No one even to kind of like look at and be like, Ooh, this is scary. Right? Like,

I mean, I wouldn't, I wouldn't have paid for VIP if I thought this was what that meant. And, and, and wait, how long? Yeah.

I paid me extra $450. What time did you say? I mean, at this point it's gotta be over three, three and a half, four hours. The VIP pass is a two hour pass. Wait, what do you mean? I'm so sorry. Oh my God.

Oh my God. You paid for the VIP pass, which is only two hours admission. That's only two hours admission. And you were here for almost four hours. That was a two hour admission pass. Not only are we going to have to charge you for the last two hours you've been here, but also by the time you get in, you might need to pay another one. Wait, so I don't get to go in?

No, you do get to go. No, you do. You absolutely do. We would never turn anyone away. Oh, my God. That's false advertising. We're not that kind of business. That's false advertising.

You will absolutely go in, but you will have to pay for, at least right now, the price of an additional ticket. And depending on how long you wait, you might have to pay for at least right now the price of an additional ticket and depending on how long you literally paid the price of a mountain bike to get into this a quality mountain bike to get into the you're telling me now because you made me wait in line for over two hours i can't i can't go in what do i owe you guys right now we didn't make you so i'm I'm just sorry. I just want to just for legality reasons. I'm sorry. We did not force you to wait in line.

You waited here by your own volition. And if you want to keep waiting, please be our guest. We want you to experience this. I'm the only one in line. For anyone listening here, I'm in.

We did not force you to wait in line. I'm in. Yeah, so you're next. I'm next. So you're next. But you need to pay again to go in.

So that's all we're saying i know but the sign over here it says after 11 o'clock at night prices may change what do i owe i'm get do i owe something different than i normally would owe because i i've already paid the 169 plus the 450 for the vip pass and now you're asking me to pay more to go through? And thank you for reading the fine print. Like not everyone reads that. So we do want to say thank you because you are paying attention. And that cannot be said for everybody else.

I guess. Thank you. On that subject, you kind of actually shot yourself in the foot because I actually forgot. I hadn't checked the time. That is true. Prices do change after 11 since it's darker. That's a 1.5x. That's a 1.5x. So it's going to be for the time. That is true. Prices do change after 11 since it's darker. That's a 1.5x. That's a 1.5x,

so it's going to be for the next. With daylight savings, it is a 1.5. It's always daylight savings. What do you mean daylight savings? Unless it's on the day that daylight savings is happening, what are you talking about?

And what? Wait, so you want me to pay 1.5 times 169 or 1.5? Plus the 450. No, I don't need the VIP anymore. The whole point of the VIP was so that I could get in earlier. Did I miss a line? Which you did. Which you did.

You did. As they're talking, we've slightly been corralling you toward a dumpster. Wait, where? Which you did. Which you did. You did. As they're talking, we've slightly been corralling you toward a dumpster. Which you did. You did get into the experience earlier. Take your hands off me, please. You did. First of all, you're pushing me right now. I don't know. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. You want me to pay one and a half times $600 to even go on the thing that I paid for. Yes, but you are up next. You have to understand this is very frustrating. This is very frustrating for me,

but I will do it. I will do it. Of course. We really don't want to make you upset. Can I pay with a credit card? That will be, you will have a transaction fee

if you do pay with a credit card. You will have a transaction fee if you do pay with a credit card. That's going to be another fee. Push it to you into the dumpster. Thank you so much for coming. That was the experience. Thank you. If you have a photo booth down the street, if you want it.

Everybody who had been in line comes out. They've all been actors. And that's a wrap. Oh, my God. That was amazing. That was amazing. That was actually, that was very horrifying. That was horrifying.

I'm not sure why I paid the horrifying $450 VIP charge, but honestly, worth it. Worth it. Thank you, guys. Here's a... Nothing scarier than dipping into your savings. Financial security. Do you guys take tips? Do you take tips? We would never. We would never. Okay. Who do you think we are?

We do it for the passion and the money. Alright, let's take a quick break and thank some sponsors, and we'll be right back with more Haunted Houses Reviews with Rygall himself. This new year, why not let Audible expand your life by listening? Audible CA contains over 890,000 total titles within its current library,

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i'm trying out what is your vampires what's that it's not vampires it's vampires I might go to Transylvania next year what did you just think of this right now probably I wouldn't put it past him though last night I literally was planning

I didn't book anything but like put together an itinerary of going to Romania. You're moving to Romania, I was just going to say. Not moving, but it's so cheap. You just got drunk and went to Potwire. Don't bow for that. Well, that's vampires bow. That's nothing. That would be amazing, though. That's fair. You did that. Well, that's Vampire's Vow. I don't know. That would be amazing. That's fair.

It did that. I mean. It's beautiful. It's the flight's not cheap, but everything else is cheap. These Airbnbs are like gorgeous brick apartments. How much is a flight

to Romania? Round trip is 800. I got it for you. I'm Venmoing you right now. No, I'm going to Venmo him. Holy shit. He doesn't deserve it. No way.

He doesn't deserve it. No, I kind of earned it. No, for what? You didn't do anything. You said vampire. I thought you were going to say like 8,000. $800 does not seem like a lot to go to Romania. For a round trip to Romania?

International? No. Yeah, that's wild. I mean, it's not nothing, but you know. You gotta upgrade to that, you know, semi-comfort area where you get like a cushy seat and they're bringing you mimosas and rum and Cokes the whole way.

Semi-comfort medium economy plus minus. Minus. So that seems normal if it's plus minus. It's added leg room that they took away. You're just in an exit role. Yeah. All right, so we're gonna do our next review of Haunted Houses.

Why not? Riley, do you wanna to take it away? Friend of life and the pod, Elizabeth Valenti, found out that we were doing this episode. She's from New Jersey, and so immediately she's like, look up Brighton Asylum, which is like the haunted house you go to in New Jersey. And so she's like, or you can do whatever one you want.

I'm like, no, girl, I don't know anything about haunted houses. I'll literally do whatever you tell me to do. No, girl. So this is two stars for Brighton Asylum from Desiree D. Ryan, can we get a last name for Desiree D?

Dickington. Desiree. Desiree Dickington. Okay. Not scary. Well, okay. Cartoonishly Edwardian. Two stars for Desiree Dickington. Well, okay. Cartoonishly Edwardian. Two stars for Desert Dickington.

Okay, sorry. Two stars for Brighton Asylum from Desert Dickington. Finally went after all these years. First off, I think it's overrated. I appreciate the amount of work all these artists and actors put into this, but for the same price or less, smaller lines, I've seen more interesting houses. Yeah, I can name drop. 13th hour, check them out.

The line at this place is way too long. I waited almost two hours on a Saturday night during COVID, which is supposed to be limited. It was not. There were hundreds of people. Also, chose a time for my ticket. That's pretty much useless. I came at the time of my ticket,

didn't get in for almost two hours, so keep that in mind. Bring something to keep you warm on the long lines, be it a blankie or liquor. Choose Worsley. So you go into one building, which took about 22 minutes. Then you walk outside around the building. Then they tell you to enter another building and go up some stairs. It's one floor.

Then you leave the same way as the first building. This took about 10 minutes. It was fun overall, but I was not impressed, and the lines were ridiculous. Oh, wow. Do you guys have, do you guys sell nips, liquor, like liquor? Do you sell nips here? Yeah, sure do.

We got a couple. We got bourbon, we got tequila, we got vodka. Which kind are you looking for uh just anything in a plastic i'm actually i'm going on a a little i have a tour a little spooky tour and i'm trying to i want to make sure it's something plasticky so nobody can detect it if you know what i mean sorry so nobody it? Yeah, I don't want it to be glass because it could fall. So whatever it is, it doesn't matter if it's brown or clear, whatever you have. Yeah.

And cheap, whatever's cheapest, I guess. Whatever's cheapest. Cheapest and clear or brown. Okay, so like I said, we do have an array of tequilas and bourbons and whiskeys and vodkas so you can pick whatever one you want but i will give you the cheapest version of whatever that is yeah okay give me just a second and i will look through excuse me sir do you mind i know you're behind me do you mind if i take no it's just you're taking a long time i know no you're not being rude at all i That's why I turned around to you.

I'm going to, maybe I'll throw one your way once I buy them. I'm good. I'm really good. But you are good. I appreciate that. Give me just like, give me a couple of minutes. Give me a couple of minutes and I'll. Sir, if you don't mind, gentlemen in front.

Sir, behind. I'm happy if you only have one or two items, I can bag you up. Sorry. Yes, yes. Do you mind if I finish my transaction? No, absolutely. I'm trying to get plan B.

It's kind of an emergency. So if you could just... Sir, do you mind if we just ring up his plan B? You said you'd take a couple minutes. I need one second, because it looks like you only have one plan b left and i was gonna get that as well you just said you were going on the spooky tour well when i mean think of it this way when do you know if you know you're gonna need a plan b you know in the condom bricks and that's what

happened to me so i need it now because we didn't yeah you popped she really you popped a condom i didn't pop it it happened i don't know why you would feel that it's appropriate to tell this story at a liquor store while i'm trying to buy nips it's appropriate because i've been standing behind you for 15 minutes and i and i it's an emergency and i'm sex positive okay i'm gonna i'll finish up my purchase and then i will move on i'm gonna finish up right now i didn't mean to cause any problem i'll take two can i have two captain morgan nips there you go absolutely two smirnoff vodka nips yes um can i have two what is that Old Pumpy Johnson Bourbons

Yes Old Pumpy Old Pumpies You know what Throw in a Gold Slip Gold Slip

I'm almost I'm sorry I just now Because I'm like Kind of getting frustrated Because it keeps going on Yes Those last two

Definitely don't exist And I'll have the plan B Weirdly enough We do have Old Pumpies But gold Gold Sorry Slip or ship, did you say? Ship or slip? Gold slip or ship? I thought it was in the middle of those two

in a word that he just coined. I thought so too, but I just want to make sure. Gold slip? Slip, yeah. But I'll take any of those three that you have. And again, can you please not get the last plan B? Because it is behind the counter and you said it was the last one.

We have gold, I'm so sorry i gold schlip i could you what kind of alcohol is that what kind of spirit is that i actually don't think i've ever i don't i've only had it a couple times it's a generic spirit it's generic gold schlager i believe i believe because it has Goldschlager has the gold flakes in it yes but Goldschlip just has sort of a a golden mucus but I

I think it tastes the same it's sort of cinnamony and fun I'm really getting frustrated are you thinking of fireball? a cinnamon flavor are you thinking are you I know you said Goldschlip

oh my god do you have fireball? we do we have so many Fireball nips. I'm getting so frustrated because you said any nips that are clear or brown, which is all of them. And now you're getting really specific with brands. Last time I had Fireball was a crazy night. It doesn't matter.

So I'm a little worried about getting Fireball. I had sex with a coworker. We were both really into it and realized it was a mistake. Worried about getting fireball. I had sex with a coworker. We were both really into it and realized it was a mistake. And now she might be carrying my child. Sir, sir, sir, sir. I'm sorry. I really, I, I, I, I'm not your therapist.

I don't need that kind of information. Can I throw a cherry Coke in there too? As a chaser? Absolutely. You can. Would you like, would you like a 12 ounce or an 18 ounce? You have 18 ounce cherry coats? It's not shocking. I mean

I've never seen an 18 ounce cherry coat. That's like a tall boy cherry coat. Yes we do have those if you're interested. I know that those kind of spooky tours can be long walks so we do have plenty of those. What is the spooky tour by the way? I would love to hear about it. I love Halloween. I'm sorry. I'm freaking out

sir you're not freaking out enough to not get into my business you mentioned the spooky tour inserting it almost like you're begging us to ask the only person that's been inserting things where they shouldn't is you, sir.

He does have a point. No, he doesn't. Having sex is fine. It's good. It's nice. It's nice? I haven't had a lot of it. That's why I was excited and why I might have put the condom on wrong. Wait, how'd you put it on?

And that's none of my business. It is none of our business, but how did you do it? I did it, you know, to the twist technique, the one where you get a little extra safe. It's a little extra safe. You twisted it on? It was, it's like, bop it, twist it. And then I like.

Okay. Well, I just wanted to make sure you were doing it the right way. Of course you twisted it on. I'm so scared. I'm really scared. And it worked and it didn't work. Of course you're twisted on. I'm so scared. I'm really scared. And it didn't work. Alright, listen. Here. He can have the last plan B.

I think that makes a lot of sense. In fact, I'll buy it. I'll buy it for him. No, you don't. Oh, that's very nice of you. Okay, so you're getting the two of just about everything. I'm sorry we don't have the gold schlip, but I will give you an extra fireball for your trouble.

The 18-ounce cherry Coke and the plan B for the gentleman behind you. Is that correct? Plan B is kind of expensive. Are you sure? The plan B for the gentleman behind me. Pay it forward. And I hope you buy something for the person behind you. All right.

I'll do that. I appreciate it. Technically, I don't need to do the transaction at this point, but I'll get something. Can you guys move it along, please? I'm trying to. I need something, too. I need a bunch of plan Bs.

There's actually only one, and I'm actually getting it. Yes, the gentleman in the front bought the last one for the gentleman behind him. So we are a lot of plan Bs. I bought the last one for him. Yeah, but I do have to pay it forward weirdly. So is there anything else you want? You could give me the one he got you. Is there an emergency or are you, again, I'm just getting it to have.

I popped a condom. During sex? Well, pretty bad. That's all I can tell you. I popped it real. I popped it hard. You just broke one? Like just without sex, just kind of took one and ripped it?

Well, you know, you call it what you want, but it popped it and somebody's in trouble. Somebody's in trouble. You can take a balloon, fill it full of peanut butter, throw it inside a

cooler, heat it up enough so that thing pops. Sooner or later, the inside of the cooler, that's going to be puffed. Did you say put it in a cooler and heat it up? Yep. Puffed full of peanut butter spit all over the place. Peanut butter spit?

Yep. So sooner or later, you know the deal. I'm sorry. This is such a small thing, but you're wearing an entire Dodgers baseball jersey like the pants and socks and cleats and you so clearly I'm coming straight from the game.

Yeah, I'm not on the team. No, I am not on the team, but I I aim to be someday. I aim to be aim to be a first base coach. I'll do whatever I gotta do. So not on base coach. I'll do whatever I got to do. So not on the team.

I'm actually a coach. Nope. I got my, they, uh, no, you know what? Take the plan B because you should not have,

this is so mean, but you should not have children. Wait a minute. You're going to give the, you're going to give the plan B that I gave to you to somebody else. Pay it forward. Can someone just pay me something? I'm sorry. My shift ended 15 minutes ago and this is all nice. This is

about peanut butter pregnancies. I don't care. I'd like to go home. I'd like to can someone pay the piper and can we just end whatever the fuck this is? Sorry for my, excuse my French. Cut to her at home. You're home late. Yeah, I'm home late Yeah I'm home late

I'm sorry about that Are the kids down? Yeah They've been down Oh Jesus Hi Hi Freddy They wait up for you

Hi sweetheart Mommy Daddy gave me pop tarts Oh my god Gene Pop tarts Seriously Can you

He's like a gremlin You don't feed him past like 11 You don't understand the toll That this is taking on me when you stay late. Taking on you. Taking on you. Taking on me. Because the kids don't go to sleep because they want to see you when you get home. You don't think I want to be here?

You don't think I want to be here every night? You don't think I want to tuck him into bed? You wouldn't believe the night I had. You would definitely, the night I had, Gene, you would not believe it. If you lived one day in my shoes. Yeah, really. Daddy made us watch The Shining. the night I had, Gene, you would not believe it. If you lived one day in my shoes... Really? Really? Daddy made us watch The Shining. Oh my god, Gene!

I didn't make them. He's three! No, they did the stacking thing where they look around a corner and it's one head at the bottom, one head in the middle, and one head at the top. You should have changed the film. Kubrick does really great things with the camera. Kubrick does good things with the camera Kubrick Does good things with the camera

Pop tarts Yum yum Yum yum yum yum yum yum Okay sweetie that's really nice Why don't you go up to bed And I'll come and tuck you in okay Okay do you want me to go up the stairs to bed Yes

Yes I would love for you to go upstairs to bed, honey. Thank you so much for listening. I love your listening ears. You get to be the good guy and you get to be the good guy. I get to be the good guy. Yes. You are always,

you are always the good guy. You are the good guy. Yeah, I want you to go to sleep. You're the good guy. You're the good guy. Daddy. Is daddy the good, daddy's the good guy too.

Thank you for the Pop-Tarts, daddy. And you love me? Bye. Where's the gold, where's the good guy? Daddy's the good guy too. Thank you for the Pop-Tarts, daddy. And you love me? Bye. Where's the gold? Where's the gold, Schlip? I need just like a shot of that immediately. Oh, that's very nice. That's very nice.

You get home at 1.30 in the goddamn morning and you go straight for the Schlip. I go straight for the Schlip. The mucusy gold. I need the mucusy gold stuff. I need that mucusy gold stuff. But you know what I need? What? A divorce.

Fine. Sorry. Sweetie, go back upstairs. I'll be with you in one second. We're just having a little talk. He's not really progressing in the way he needs to be in school. He loves sound effects. And that's kind of it.

Hello? Yeah. Hey. Hey. Hi. Hello? It's George. Who the hell is that?

From 7-Eleven. It's your boss. Are you kidding me? Oh, hi, George. I'm so sorry. It's been a long night, George. How are you? Just that note.

Shut up. Just shut the F up. Did you tell me you didn't sell the last plan B? The last... Don't call me at home for that. Don't call my house. An absolute HR violation. Shut the F up.

Don't tell me you sold the last plan. You can't not say fuck and call me at home about plan B. I don't fucking think so. So angry, but you don't say fuck. Shut the F up. Shut the F up right now. Oh my God. That's fantastic.

All right, should we do one more? Riley, do you want to do your little sentence guy? One more quick review. Unless, Gall, you got one that you would love to share. I have one, but if you have one that's not like time related, because I feel like everything we've done is about waiting in lines. Yeah. So if you have something, yeah, go for it.

It's really short. Okay. So this is, again, for Brighton Asylum. This is from Tanima M. Jeff, last name for Tanima M. Marlboro Cigarettes Air. Air? She's the air to the Marlboro Cigarettes Throne.

But, okay. Cigarettes. Air. Air? She's the heir to the Marlboro Cigarettes throne. But, okay. So, Tanima Marlboro Cigarettes. Three marriages, three hyphenations. So, she's not the heir, but her last name from her most recent husband is heir? She's the heir because she is part of the Marlboro family, but she was also, like, three generations down, Marlboro married cigarettes. You said three marriages, three hyphens. So, she's Marlboro, then married cigarettes.

Her grandfather was Marlboro, so she is the heiress, and then that person married cigarettes, and then Marlboro cigarettes married the heir. That's just the name. They're not an heir to anything. I don't think so. Okay, so Geneva Marlborough's cigarettes

don't say her grandfather married cigarettes that's not anything okay so this is one star was was not

was not scary at all and I get scared of every single thing it was very weak actors also smell of BO

which I wish they could somehow conceal the escape room's five minutes long and not worth it there are so many better places than this very weak. Actors also smell of BO, which I wish they could somehow conceal. The escape room's five minutes long and not worth it. There are so many better places than this. My credit card balance scares me more than this place. What got me about this is the backhanded fucking thing of like, actors smell of BO,

and I wish there was some way they could do something about that. God, I wonder. Oh oh my god that's great it's like yeah i get it i get it i know deodorant i know um are you looking for a specific uh brand of deodorant um well it's not even for me, I hate to talk for you like this, but my fiance, yes, we're recently engaged. Congrats. Thank you so much. My fiance, Billy. You don't have to tell everybody. You don't have to tell everybody.

I'm excited. Are you not excited? Why aren't you excited? I am excited. It's just this guy doesn't fucking care. No, I care. What? Don't say that.

I totally care. So Tucker, Tucker, yes, thank you for helping us. So my fiance Billy here, he's what you'd call a man's man. He's got that musk. He's got that stinky stuff. And so we're just here. He's a little embarrassed. It's a little embarrassing.

He's a little embarrassed. Shouldn't be embarrassing. A lot of girls actually like that i find that yeah uh deodorant can sometimes mask uh mask masculinity mask masculinity yes yeah well no no no no no no no no no, no. Yeah, hey, man. Nice, dude. Men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men. Yes, I love men. I love men just as much as the next. Men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men. Yeah, dude, honestly.

Men, men, men. Yeah, I thought we were going to keep going. No, dude. Who cares? Billy, your voice just changed completely. You just went down like three octaves hey just i'm gonna tell you this if you ever get the feeling that it's not worth it to go through with this what there's people that will support you tucker i'm sorry you don't know him from a

fucking hole in the ground so sorry just get your manly nose out of this we're just looking for some old spice i think we're friends because he knows we're getting married just supporting my brother man just supporting my brother okay well could you please just recommend your strongest deodorant because Billy smells like ass there I'll say it he actually smells

like ass and that's not even exaggeration so I'm gonna need the like military grade shit that you have in this walgreens right now i'd go and live in the woods and they don't use any of this and i'm sort of that way yeah i get it i get it listen you guys gotta find your you guys gotta find the space where you can live i i love oh my god i thought you're gonna say find your beach no we live in culver city that's where we live we live in culver city we found it oh shit i love beer i would love to find your beach. No, we live in Culver City. That's where we live. We live in Culver City. We found it. Oh, shit, man.

I love beer. I would love to find my beach. And if you ever want to visit my beach, feel free to come by and visit. Your beach? What do you mean your beach? You own a beach? No.

Do you have a sandbox? I'd be, hell yeah, dude. I have a sandbox. What? I've been trying to get a sandbox, but she won't let me have one. We don't even have kids. You don't need a sandbox.

You can go need a sandbox. The moment somebody says you can't have something is the moment you turn around and you effing sprint in the opposite direction. You sprint. That's what I've always wanted to do. I don't think that's true. Again we just need the deodorant. Actually, because you've led us to the aisle, we don't even need your help anymore.

We are more than fine to pick out a deodorant that works for him. So Tucker, thank you so much for your help. I'm going to head back to the front. No, you know what? Fine. I figured out which deodorant I want. It's the fancy one that's locked.

You need an employee. Oh, you want speed sticks. You want speed sticks? So we do need Tucker. Yeah, the fancy speed sticks. Because you have the key to unlock it. I have the key, and if you want that, I need to be able to open it.

So you'll have to choose one, and then I will let you look at that one. He did. He said he wants a fancy speed stick, so can you please open the drawer? As soon as you pick a flavor. Flavor? I can't just give you a free-for-all. I can't just open it up and let you fiddle through that like a bucket of jelly beans.

No, you got to pick one. You like jelly beans? Dude, I love jelly beans. My dude. Hey. Man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man man man man man man man man man man man

I'm like taking the keys I'm like every single key on the chain give me my keys back that's attached to my belt you're hurting you're hurting me she opens it she grabs one of the speed sticks pulls up my shirt, applies it for me.

No. God. Deep ocean. That's deep ocean. That's a good one. Speed stick, deep ocean. I like that. Okay, we'll take it.

Yes. Can you ring us up? Or actually, do you have a self-checkout option that would be significantly preferred? No, those are closed today. You have to go through me. God damn it. Cut to the register. Hey, can I help you today?

Oh my God. We literally walked up here together. You went behind the register. Here's a 20. I know it doesn't cost as much. Keep the change. Nope. Hold on a second.

That's $22.49. $22.49 for a speed stick? It was the fancy one. I'm sorry. It's Canadian. Canadian dollars? Or it's a Canadian brand? No.

Canadian feet tall. Yeahadian dollars yeah man yeah come on man of course it's canadian dollars listen yeah not everything's if you want your guy to smell the way you want him to smell, you got to pay for it. It's $22.49 with tax. You know what, Billy? Sorry, Tucker, can I have a sidebar with my fiance for one goddamn second?

I honestly could care less what you guys do. I don't think that's true. So, Billy. Billy, stay strong. I get to stay out of this, Tucker. You got to come to my bachelor party. God damn So, Billy. Billy, stay strong. I get sick out of this dicker. You gotta come to my bachelor party. God damn it, Billy. I'm definitely coming.

I slam my engagement ring down on the table. I've had enough. You have been like this for months. It's all men, men, men with you. And you know what? I've had enough. If this is what you want, the bachelor life,

the musk, the woods, the everything about it, then you have it. But I don't want any part of it. So I'm going to go back to our duplex in Culver City. And if you want to chase after me. I'm sorry. God damn it, Tucker, what? I'm sorry.

There's a guy behind you. He's trying to buy something. I'm so sorry. But I used a condom in the most sacred of ways, and I need plan B. Are you an L.A. Dodger? I wear it because there's sort of a dugout in my neighborhood, and I want to look like I fit in.

And I'll maybe one day be a concession stand guy. Maybe you guys could step aside, let this guy buy his plan B. Yeah, this is just taking so long. It's not a problem, dude. Just step aside. I'm sorry. Charlie, I know your name. You, I'm just going to assume your name is Laura.

Yeah, it is Laura. How did you know that? Because you're, you have Laura written across the butt of your yoga pants. Oh, yeah. Looking at people's butts. Men, men,

men, men, men, men, men. Alright, should we do our last segment yes this shook me all week long so stupid the biggest two and a half men fans i guess their connection that's their connection

shorthorning in things that they might have in common what's shaking me is that ryan i want to move to New York. Oh, really? Yeah, I love it. Officially? Not officially. I want to sublet for like three months. Jeff wants to do the plot of The Holiday

where he kind of does a house and life swap. Yeah. Got it. Not life, but just house. Body swap. How did you think this? What made you reach this point? Well, I came in August to visit some friends,

and I just had a great time. And I was like, this is great. I'm not going to move, but I wish I could. And then now I'm here again for two weeks, and I'm like, it's still just as, if not better, just as good, if not better than August. So I guess this is what it's always like. And maybe that's like looking at the whole

city through rose-colored glasses. But also like, it's little things. It's like, I walk way more. Like, the whole idea of LA being healthier is a fallacy. I walked 13,000 steps today. Easy, easy, easy. Easy with that. Don't throw that

in our face. That's foul. How dare you. You want to walk more, get a dog, Jeffrey. No, because then it's not just walking. It's the responsibility of owning a dog. It's not that simple. I don't think so. I can't handle it.

Where would you move? Well, the HeadGum Studio is in Williamsburg, and most of my friends live somewhere in that kind of Brooklyn area from Clinton Hill to Greenpoint. So anywhere in that area would be huge. And I might be talking to my friend Annika about doing a housing swap for one to three months. Hey, why not? So we'll see. But, yeah, it's also like I've been in L.A. for six years now.

Like, you know, a change of pace would be nice. Also, I just feel like everything's going to go right. I say go for it. Everything's going to, yeah. Everything will change. The way I feel, the way I look, the way I am, the way I enter a space, the way I sort of dominate the discourse in a tasteful way.

So Ryan was shaking you before me. No, no, no, no, no. Wait, but Riley, you're in LA, right? I'm very much in LA, and if Jeff moves to New York permanently, I will turn to dust. That's, I can, that's what would, that's what would make me sad about the whole thing.

And like, this is like, no, like not, like I would never pressure Jeff. Like this is not to pressure him at all. You do all the time. Anytime I talk about it, you say don't do it. But like literally if he moved, I'd never be happy again. But like, I don't want that to sway his opinion one bit. And it won't do it but like literally if he moved I'd never be happy again but like I don't want that

to sway his opinion one bit and it won't because like that literally doesn't matter but if he moved like I can't help but think that our friendship

would be jeopardized but like honestly at the end of the day that's not a big deal it is a big deal and it's not a reality I think it'll make you guys stronger

yeah than ever we'll be bloodbathed we'll do a blood pact before you go yeah it'll make you guys stronger Yeah We'll do a blood pact before you go Yeah it'll make you stronger I hate when you do that Stronger Men men men

Men men men No I The older I get The more anybody goes like I have something in my gut that tells me To try this I more than not I go like oh then absolutely follow

that instinct and even though I can feel the pain in Riley's eyes I really do you can't see shit I see the pain but I do I think like you know whatever's meant to happen

whatever relationship between you two is gonna stay strong no matter what i think it would be very exciting i think you would have a good time and also knowing you you're gonna be like you're gonna be like i love new york and then you're gonna go to london and be like am i moving to london i'm never moving to london Is he just moving further and further away from you? Transylvania. That's the end game of him being as far away from me as he physically can possibly

be. Is Transylvania directly across the world? What a stupid question. Where is Transylvania? It's in Romania. Okay, but is it on the coast?

Is it on the water? It's landlocked, I think. I should know because I am going to live there. None of us know. God bless you. God. The Christian God, I mean. Oh, you know what? It's on a coast. That coast God, I mean. Oh, you know what? So it's on a coast. See?

That coast being the Black Sea. Yeah, it's on the Black Sea. Yeah, but I want to go to Kluj Napoka. Of course, we all do. Yeah, I summered actually in Kluj Napoka. I've thought about that since I was a boy. Kluj Napoka. Of course, we all do. I put on for my city. On, on for my city on on Ryan I have nothing important that's really bothering me other than I went to um I I

I'm saying this I I feel so dumb saying, but I was looking through Instagram and I came across a company and I'm not going to mention it because I don't want to make it a commercial, but you know how there's like these clothing companies. This seamlessly transitions into an ad. Yeah. Men, men, men, men, men. No, I found one and I was like, God, god i don't i feel like i just want to try one of these shirts that yeah because it looked like fun and stretchy and wait is it tombolo

no okay i'm not gonna say it but it's not that but because i really don't want people to think like oh he might be being paid because I'm really not. But I did try it and I was so pleasantly surprised. I love this shirt. I immediately went back and bought two more. That's a great feeling. Can you please say what it is and we'll literally censor it. Can you?

Will you bleep it out? Yeah, we'll bleep it out. It's. Oh, I love them. Great. They were great. I love... The shirt was so pleasant. It wasn't cheap, but it was like...

I have a bikini from them that I love. Yeah, they're great. Take it easy, Riley. Come on, it's a weeknight. It's a weeknight. really was like so pleasantly surprised because you know you buy a shirt from like most companies and you're like maybe it'll last a couple of months and before it deforms and turns into a piece of garbage and this feels so uh it feels it feels like it has a quality that will last a while and wear well and i was i was pleasantly surprised and i did not expect it off an instagram ad yeah

and i thought that was like so if you ask me what's going on this week i was it's probably one of the few times in the last year I've been pleasantly surprised with something that has come out of social media. Yeah. And also, God bless them, their advertising works somehow. And I'm like, oh, now I want to do that. That's awesome. Hell yeah. You look like a model, by the way.

And Daniel Blee. I am. I am. No, trust me. I'm going to, by the way. And Daniel Blee. I am. I am. No, trust me. I'm going to, by the way, beep that as well. Yeah. And I definitely want to go to them and be like, dude, nothing would make me happier than to say, like, this is the best shirt I've worn. You should.

I bet they would be stoked. And I don't want free product that's not what i want but i'm like i'd so i think it would be worth much more to actually go to a company and be like i don't want free product i just want to tell you i think your product's fucking great yeah which will probably lead to getting you free products i hope so. That's great. Yeah. Riley, what's been shaking you?

Daniel's home. Daniel's been away for nigh on a month. Where was he? Filming various things. He was filming one thing for like he was doing something in Chicago. And then he came home for like three days. And then he was just gone for like 18 days in upstate New York and now he's home and so

like and even the three days he was home we were shooting a short together and so it's like it was all work and so effectively I haven't seen him for like a month it's the longest we've been apart from each other in three and a half years and so I'm really excited to have him home I picked him up from the airport today

and it's just really it's like such a very earnest what shook me and i'm just i'm really really happy to have him i love that i missed him a lot i love that i love that it's so weird to get used to living with somebody and have them go away for a little while yeah it's it's very uncomfortable so especially because we moved in together during a pandemic. So we were just like here all the time together. And so it's like we got so used to that. And then like that's the routine every day. And then tonight, yeah, so that was, it was wild.

But I got some great time with Simply My Friend from the Pod, not from anything else, Elizabeth Valenti. So yeah, yeah, yeah. It else, Elizabeth Valenti. So yeah. It was a nice two weeks hanging with her. I'm happy he's home. It's like our little family's back and now we're planning our Halloween costumes and Daniel and I are going to be Love Quinn and Joe Goldberg

from the Netflix show You. Oh, you officially decided. Yes. Wow, that's pretty great. Because it's a very low effort costume for us because we look like the B movie versions of them, which is very exciting. I'm very grateful that I've been told on numerous occasions. That's so weirdly accurate.

Yes, I've been told like, you vaguely look like Victoria Petretti. I'm like, you really mean that? That sounds hurtful. I would be upset. No, I'm fucking stoked. I'm like, you think I look kind of like her, but not enough to be like,

oh my God, you look just like her. Yeah. So yeah, so we're doing that. Elizabeth is going to be one of the people in the pink jumpsuits from Squid Game. And so she's getting she's still waiting for her mask with a shape on it um yeah and we are very excited because it's like you know since us three have lived together this will be our first halloween being able to like

pass out candy in our neighborhood because of covid because halloween wasn't really a thing last year and so we're planning of like what kinds of candy to get for the we're so excited we're gonna be like we're like three like people like our mid- candy to get. We're so excited. We're going to be like, we're like three, like people like our mid twenties be like, we're going to stay home and hang out with our neighborhood kids. Yeah. Hell yeah. Why the heck not?

Yeah. Where are you going to be Jeffrey? I'm going to be the dude. It's kind of cliche, but it's the, this is the first time I have like long hair now. So I'm going to take advantage of that. You can pull it off.

And I already had the sweater. So. I love that costume. What about you? Do you have a costume in mind? Do you dress up? I don't dress up normally, but I,

I, my kids are really like, what are you going to be? Yeah. This year. So it should be the mask. I was thinking. Prosthetic makeup artist.

You should do Heidi Klum level of breath. Yeah. I was thinking being the third Shining twin, triplet. That's amazing. Oh, that's really good. And just be, because if I could find somebody to be a twin with me,

I'd do that. Otherwise I'd be like, oh, I'm the third uh shining triplet that's even better i think i'm just like that's really good to be like oh they i was always i always fell behind i never made it to the elevators i was playing on the wrong 20 minutes after them and they never let me hear that i was always in room 26 i'd say meet meet at the elevators at 325 to meet the tricycle and i was always late i love that yeah that's really good um well we'll see gall thank you what do you have do you have anything to plug thank you for doing the show no I love doing this show you guys are the best I love you both

the only thing I have to plug is The Last OG season 4 that comes out October 26 which that's when this episode comes out so go watch The Last OG listen to this and go tune in and watch The Last OG

where can people watch it live what channel? on TBS I think it's like 9pm and then it's you know whatever I think most people watch it on streaming services or the TBS streaming app

for now yeah and this is the season this is a series premiere right this is the season 4 premiere, right? This is the season four premiere. Yeah, right. Yeah. I was thinking British Turkish. Yeah.

If anybody watches it and is like, oh, I kind of like that, I think Netflix has all the previous seasons on it. That's so exciting. Hell yeah. Congratulations. Hell yeah. But you guys are always a joy, and I will drop everything and join you

anytime you guys want. Oh my God, you are the best. Way too generous. We love you so much. Uncle Ryan. You're part of the entire show's DNA. Uncle Ryan's always here for you guys. Uncle Ryan is Harvey Fierstein as Ryan's doll.

Hey, let's play a game. Let's all take our shirts off. Come on, guys. You can follow Jeffrey James on Instagram at Jeffrey James and on Twitter

at Jeff Ware D and you can follow the show on on Instagram at Review Review

on Twitter at Review Review Show and on Reddit r slash Review Review and you can follow Riley on Instagram at Riley Anspa on Twitter

at Riley Coyote. And that's Halloween. Well, we're going to thank some patrons, some Patreon patrons. Such a good... Some Patreon patrons. Yeah, it's electronic.

That's really good. You know what? I'm done reading these. Fuck, well, me. Underscore Christian side hugs for chastity. A penny saved is a penny earned. Aaron. Aaron Coogan.

Adam Shea. Aggie. A code derives a sick slash twisted sense of satisfaction from making Jeff and Waiwi say things from their mouth for her to hear. Alex Witt. And now a patron who needs no introduction. So moving on.

Anthony Amadeo. Autumn Michael Scar is fall ready with his new Review Review hoodie. Woo, Bob Buell. Brad Donaldson. New patron. Actually, yeah. Brad Hill promises to sneak a review review reference into Survivor When he makes it on the show

That would be amazing Brian Dodd Chuck Chasten Bales Cullen Damien Kirk has heard good things but is hesitant Devin misses Fiona so damn much Fancy Octopus

Frito Prey love Gabriel Castaneda Oh my gosh Gray Rider Volt Pretty cool name Volt is in all caps by the way Volt. Pretty cool name. Volt is in all caps, by the way. None of it is. Your name's Matt

Hasty. Yeah, that's a pretty cool name. It's not yours. Greg Berg. GrahamStopGME, new patron. Hey, Jeff, could you have anyone from HeyRiddleRiddle on the HeadGum Podcast, please? Holly!

I literally only subscribe to force Jeffrey and Riley to say trans rights. XOXO. I love it when you call me Big Flop. In a very real sense. TR. Jack Kwan. Jake the Snake Radish. Jake Ullman

Jameson Ponce's last memory Is that of the time Oh my god Jameson Ponce's last happy memory Is that of the time When this is Why did you write it this way? I'll do it

Jameson Ponce's last happy memory Is that of the time that Riley was a lemon on Jeff's live. Jeff is a skeevy little dude whose dad has been on Price is Right not once, not twice, but two times. New patron. New patron. Jesse Tipton. Jive Gosley. John Quinonez.

Josh, just kind of a cool guy, and please don't say otherwise or it'll be sad, Pike. JP again. Y'all check your Patreon message box Just curious, no reason Yeah, and he sent us a virus My entire laptop's on fire Justin Goncalves Caleb losing his luster without a hoodie Keelan Shelton New patron

Or maybe we already read that, whatever Lauren Millang Lord Hunter the Gray. Maggie Anderson. Malik. Mark Priest. Michael Begel. Moe P2.

Jeffrey Strikes Back. Mona Mauer Raquel has changed her life for the better. Scratch that. She's churned her life for the butter. Big if true. Every part of that was awful. Mushu lasagna. My hoodie has finally arrived.

I can forego my plans to kidnap Jeff and chain him in my basement. Hey, don't threaten me with a good time. Nate Porteous ate a Gornish game Ken and is just as confused as you are. No, it's Rory and Davy or Zooey Landle. Nolan Murphy is back, baby. That's right. He's again a little unemployed worm who'll never find a job or succeed in anything. So not back, right?

Oh, that's interesting. It's curvature. Okay, this one is just the entire B movie script. I'm not gonna read that. Orange you glad it isn't Hallie. Happy Tuesday night. Time to get spooky but in a hot way.

Phoebe. Quack. Rooster Williams. Sarah Kilduff. Sean Seguenza. Shan to the bone has what's that a boner. Slickety do da rickety day. Why oh why hasn't Bugle paid my stack?

Soap. Thank you for using my theme song in the Chapstick episode, although I think I got in by default. TJ Michael. To be cluff or not to be cluff, that's the question. Tyler, our least funny and ugliest podcast. Every Zardy he's in is more than a chore. It's a punishment for seasons of past life. Hey, come on. Don't talk about

Tyler like that. What about Warm Beef? New patron. Yaro Bouchard. Yasmin David. Z Isaac Puff, new patron. No, he's not. Gaming the system. So thank you guys all for subscribing. It's the highest tier. If you guys also want access to bonus content

and all the perks on our Patreon, you can subscribe at patreon.com forward slash Riley and Jeff. Thank you for listening to this Halloween episode of Review Review. And we'll catch you guys again next Tuesday. Arrivederci. Get spooky. Cheat. What was that?

That was a HitGum original.