Review Revue - Highlighters (w/ Billy Scafuri & Adam Lustick!)

Episode Date: May 2, 2023

Alf and Reilly are joined by No Joke Podcast's own Billy Scafuri and Adam Lustick as they get hot dogs and commit the f-word.  Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh @alfredinnit Twitter: @reilecoyote  Join the discord here! <><> Produced by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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No. Just hair has gotten quite long. Riley knows how to sing a great song. Review, review, review. It's a podcast inside of this world. Hey, Mom, close the door. Okay, will you close it, Mom? It's still ajar! Close the fucking door, you bitch! This is the last time I'm gonna ask politely! Mom, I really want it shut! I'm recording something!

Just shut it and FORGUT IT! Now, Jeff says he has long dong, but like a horsey That just sounds so wrong Review, review, review It's a podcast It's out of this world Now I'm getting Yes, I believe I believe we talked about Old Navy

That's what we We talked about Old Navy reviews Yes, we certainly did talk about Old Navy. It was a rip-roaring good time. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Shall we hit record as well? Yeah.

A little slate. Cool. Testing, testing. Yeah, I'm good. And me and me. I think I'm right in the pocket here, Riley. Three, two, one. Beautiful.

All right. We'll do a little theme song and then away we go. Okay. Where did it and then away we go okay where'd it go here we go alfie 100 right this will be a jeff thing yeah they always are his ghost it haunts us just hair has gotten quite long r Riley knows how to sing a great song Review, review, review It's a podcast inside of this world

Hey, Mom, close the door! Okay, will you close it, Mom? It's still ajar! Close the fucking door, you bitch! This is the last time I'm gonna ask politely! Mom, I really want it shut! I'm recording something! Just shut it and forget it! Now, Jeff says he has long

dong, but hung like a horsey that just sounds so wrong. Review, review, review. It's a podcast that's out of this world. Now I'm getting! Wow. you it's a podcast it's out of this world that one kevin wow wow wow wow that one sounded familiar we might have played it before but the attempt number you know it was because it was send attempt number three that was from shan shan to the bone

brooks uh they have no plugs besides their twitter which is history matters with two y's in history okay that was beautiful you don't usually hear someone angrily say the word ajar the door is a jar wow nice also i think i might start using shut it and forget it that felt shut it and forgot it was really that's important yeah. I also really did forget that on this podcast, Jeff coined the phrase, I'm hung like a horsey. And that's tough on the ears and on the psyche. It is tough. The diminutive sort of babifying of horsey makes it wrong. Makes it wrong.

Every time I appear on the HeadGum podcast, I'm usually like one foot out the door. It's like, just say the wrong thing once, Jeff, and you and you lose me. That's just kind of the new reality that he said. And with him not even on this show anymore, I find myself one foot out the door by hearing that he's still hung like a horsey and he's not even here. And I see. Yeah. We. Yeah.

We were on the HeadGum podcast last week and it was it was it was i felt like i was participating some kind of gotcha journalism thing it was really unpleasant um by last week alph means probably like two months ago oh yeah he went to therapy for a couple months after that and just kind of had to do some stuff yes for those of you listening if you're like oh oh these voices sound like home they sound familiar they sound like special it's because it's because billy and adam are here we're home and you don't know who they are then you've never listened to a podcast guys welcome back it's been so long the last time we had you on was one with the old regime and two for old navy for old navy yeah thank you for having us we're thrilled to be back

um riley i was telling i was telling adam on the podcast on no joke our podcast that we host on head gum that um after that episode came out old Old Navy came out. My wife, her family owns a cafe in Los Angeles. And I was there talking to somebody at the cafe. I should plug it. It's called Paper or Plastic. And someone came up to me and said, were you just on a podcast talking about Old Navy? And I was like, I don't get noticed on the street for face reasons, but apparently for voice recognition. Yeah. So talking about like a black coffee somehow got me recognized in Los Angeles. That is amazing.

You weren't even talking about Old Navy. You're just like, I love black coffee. Maybe you could just get like a side of oat milk so I can decide how much I want so you don't pour it for me. Part of me was like, Jeff is done enough. So I can put it in my carpenter jeans.

Yeah. Jeff is awkward enough to like hire somebody to follow me for the day and then strike at most people. I'd do that though. So yeah. So part of me was like, this can't be real. But enough time passed. Enough time passed.

So kudos on a review, review, review being so popular that people are hearing it. That's amazing. No one's ever said that to me. Every, anywhere, anywhere. But weirdly, people are like outside Alfred's apartment even now. That's why you have the blackout shades, right? It's true. I mean, and Riley does this thing where she like will go around coffee shops like playing the podcast from her phone.

Don't tell people that. In the hopes that someone will be like, wait, is that you on your podcast? Oh my God, yeah. And then she hopes that they don't follow up with, why are you playing you on your phone? You're already out loud in the Starbucks. I'll do some quality control to make sure the edit is yeah yeah genuine question for for you host riley and alfred do you um where in the spectrum of uh enjoying to neutral to detesting do you do you experience the sound of your own

voice when you're listening back to these podcasts and hearing the sound of your own voice do you have any feeling strong i want you guys to answer afterwards. Yes. How do you feel about it? I will say I used to hate it. It used to be like the bane of my existence. If I was in the background of a Snapchat or something and I heard it, I'd be like, delete it.

Delete the phone. Throw the phone away. Delete the phone. Delete reality. And I don't know if it's just like my growing egotism but i really i don't mind it now i like or it's just exposure therapy but it's like yeah i just like i i don't listen to the podcast i just listen to my my track it's just like 30 seconds of silence and then me saying something funny uh so i don't know but no i i genuinely i'm not as really bothered by it at

all now it's just like great I'm just used to it which is a blessing because this would be really hard to do yeah if it wasn't what about you Riley I think I kind of well that's true but I think I kind of went the opposite direction in which like when I started podcasting

I was like um am I a nightingale like am I a little lark like I i loved i loved it and now i just well also i'd never listened to our episodes anymore because i just it's like it's been so long that i'm like i know what it was and i i trust our editor and i trust us and so then when i do hear it i'm like oh that's what i fucking sound like and i can't what i fucking sound like what the fuck you hear

you play back and I suddenly just become a union guy in Queens like bro Joe Pesci what the fuck happened to my voice

yeah I mean literally even the other day I was listening back to a scene only to make like just to be like I wonder how this came out

yeah and I was shocked I shocked myself I'm like I'm that nasally I'm like 13 years old it was it was crazy so i hate it now let us answer you let us answer that question you are that nasally and yes you are 13. and you are 13 years old correct back in time back what about you guys do you guys yeah do you guys bother by it adam i i i historically am yeah i i the i don't know it's

just like anything that makes me even the least bit self-conscious i try to avoid but um but when i sometimes scrub back and listen to billy in my podcast and sometimes and i'll do it on like um time and a half or like 1.25 speed or whatever for sure and often billy and my voices i think just because we've been so close for so long, they do actually blend into each other. And sometimes I literally can't tell whether it's me or Billy talking. So that's almost a relief. Sure. So that's almost a relief to me.

What do you think about my voice? Because if you think that we sound alike and you like my voice, then by osmosis, you like your own. So thoughts on mine? And that is exactly what's happening. It's like, oh, I like it's like I don't I don't I don't particularly like my voice, but I like our voice. There you go. I like building my collective, like where the center where the Venn diagram overlaps. I like that when I can't tell if it's mine or Billy's. I like that. So actually it's sort of helped my, I think it's maybe helped my confidence a little bit. Yeah. I'm always impressed by people who do

solo podcasts. They just like no guests. That's no guests amazing it's like you really need to just of course you do your own research and make it interesting and do all the editing all whatever but like that's a lot of you that's a lot of you that's a lot of you told me that he was leaving this show yeah we were like coming up with options of next steps yeah he. He's like, you know, you could either, he's like, I want you to keep doing the show if you want to do it. I'm like, yeah,

of course. Like I, I love the show. I do want to keep doing it. And he's like, you could either do it alone or you could have a co-host. And I'm like, there is literally no reality in which I would ever host an improv show on my own.

Because I can never do the show on my own, or I'd have to book a guest for every single episode and that would do that's a lot that's a lot is so much that's a lot and so then we got off but like they're in some universe and some multiverse reality I host the show alone alone solo improv style Amir actually Amir gave me great advice before No Joke, and No Joke just released our 340th episode. So we've been, we've like, yeah. So when I say Amir gave me advice before No Joke,

this is literally pushing seven years ago. 1,000 years ago. We were rock climbing one day, and they had like eight podcasts on the night. Yeah, sorry. That is, we climb rock. Amir can rock climb with those arms? Let me just get ahead of it now.

You might hear me say it again. At times, Billy climbs rock. bam dude thank you and and amir was like yeah would you ever want to post a podcast and i was like i would yeah it sounds fun and interesting and he was like if i can give you a piece of advice have a co-host with somebody who you don't even need guests for certain episodes where it's like you like each other's company so well. He's like, cause at some point attrition will set in and you'd be like, I don't want to look for more guests. I just kind of like want to be hung over and angry this episode,

you know? Right. And so a good call Riley on finding the right podcast host. Well, if that's the litmus, then I'm still looking. I know. I wish Amir had given me that advice.

You've got to climb rock, Alfred. Just get on the rock. Get on the rock. Well, speaking of like finding clarity. This is going to be really smooth. Oh, I can already tell. Finding clarity. Yeah, keep going.

Keep going. Finding clarity. Making sure you get exactly what you need. Right. Yeah. We're talking highlighters today, baby. Folks. Just seamless.

That's my favorite part of every episode. Seamless. Highlighters today, baby. Guys, if you chose highlighters, tell us why. Well, you guys gave us like four options. We also didn't get to pick anything. We were generally late on the reply we were generally late on the reply and so when it was like oh shit we got a reply i i said that highlighter sounds good

and that's and here we are today so why out of that list so give me give me your experiences with highlighters your thoughts your your gripes i'm a i gotta tell you something again i'm only like 30 kidding i'm a bit of a highlighter freak. I love a highlighter. I actually genuinely have some strong feelings about highlighters. So even though we sort of chose the topic like fairly arbitrarily, I do. It does. I have some strong feelings about highlighter and highlighter culture, I guess, more broadly. And like a subgenre of episodes you can find on No Joke are bracket episodes where it's like March Madness style, like brackets. And we take items that have a lot of subcategories.

And one was once a school supply bracket. Ooh, that's really good. Adam, I'm curious. Do you remember potentially where highlighters landed with all of that per chance? Did that make it into the eight? Was highlighters one of the contestants? I think it was almost like-

Because I just, when you said, oh, really? It didn't even make it? Because when you said, I'm like a bit't even make it. Cause when you said, I'm like a bit of a highlighter freak. I'm like, I've heard him say that combination of words. I feel like I've heard him say that before. Well,

let me put it this way. I'll just start. And again, we can get into this and, you know, our opinions and can all sort of unfold and evolve organically over the course of this chat, obviously.

But I just want to say right away, right off the bat, I have very complicated feeling about the thick, the sort of the thick tip obviously. But I just want to say right away, right off the bat, I have very complicated feelings about the thick, sort of the thick-tipped highlighter. Oh, really? Yeah. I feel like that's the starting point for most highlighters. I was going to say, to me, that's the default.

That's exactly my point. That's exactly my point. That is absolutely the cultural default for highlighter, is the sort of, what do you want to call it, sort of hefty tip? Yeah. I'm holding one on the screen right now. So, like, this kind of, like, sharp, yellow uh sharpie brand you know it is a hefty tip but i feel like the heft of the container of like the shape of the highlighter is actually making you

think the tip is heftier than it actually is because it's a very unique shape in the pen community i feel like it's it's medium. I am like influencer style, like makeup influencer holding the hand behind the tip. Exactly. But that's true. It's like no other writing implement has that angle, has that angle sort of cuts at that sort of diagonal where the thickness sort of tight traits down.

That's a thorn in your side. It's a bit of a thorn. It's a bit of a thorn. Why? You were raised on it. You were trained with it. Exactly. Here's my point. When I'm highlighting, I don't have the... This is my own...

This is a judgment of myself more than highlighters and the highlighter manufacturers. Thank you for acknowledging me. Because I need... I like precision. And if I can't... And if I accidentally hold it at the wrong angle and I go thick tip down as opposed to... It's a you thing. It's a you thing. This is a me thing. This is an absolute me thing. Then I can't and if I accidentally hold it at the wrong angle and I go thick tip down this is a me thing this is an absolute me thing then I can I frequently sort of highlight the

like I missed the word entirely because I've misjudged the angle completely so I imagine you like that cartoon fireman who's holding like the water hose and just getting sprayed around like I just have never been taught how to use this tool. You highlight every word except the one word you would want. It's like, Adam, it's a little marker. I mean, like how could you not reign it in? It's tough. It's tough.

So I tend to now in my highlighting life, I tend to opt for just the skinny, not thick Sharpie brand, thinner shape, thinner point, much more like your standard pen or pencil. That's where I'm at in my highlighting journey as of now. to say that i can't evolve i'll grow it um i'll get i'll get one gripe out of the way as well so adam's gripe is with shape and size i'll say that my gripe is that we should have just left it at yellow there was no i agree wrong i was just gonna ask what's your go-to color so it's yellow for you it's not even i would go so far as to say it's the only color i see some

people say i don't see color i only see yellow when it comes to i find i find specifically the green highlighter to be next to useless because it's like redacting things i feel that with the blue is like quite dark blue no there's no need for blue that is just pure capitalism at work yeah i um exactly so in my in looking for reviews like you know there's so need for blue that is just pure capitalism at work yeah i am exactly so in my in looking for reviews like you know there's so so many colors um i know that i just love it i love like a thick yellow highlighter i'm also happy with the skinny yellow highlighter um sharpie brand for sure i found that sharpie brand is the best one um but i know that there was a phase in college where i was like an aesthetic highlighter girly, like pastel highlighters, which now looking back, don't do fucking anything.

Right. It's just like slightly like lighter. Was that chalk? Were you holding chalk? Might as well have been. Yeah. Alf? Yeah. yeah i mean see i was saying my like main exposure to highlighters was when i was in uh when i was

like a kid was like highlighting lines in the school play that was like such a big totally huge and it was like such a thrill and there was there was like two different like approaches there were the people who would highlight their name oh yeah in the script like their character's name and then there were the people who would have like a page and a half monologue and just go, amazing. And just highlight the entire thing. Which one were you, Alfred? I think we all know the answer. I was absolutely painting the page.

Painting a highlight or a minute. It would make it damp. The page would have residual. That's only if you were a lead. Correct. Your pages aren't damp if you're just like Farmer Joe walking on stage for a line.

That is true, though. There is this residue from highlighters that doesn't exactly come from markers. And it might be to Adam's complaint, where so much ink is flowing out that the page is holding on for dear life. It gets heavy. It dips.

And God forbid it's double-sided, the thing that you're doing. God forbid. No, no, no, no. And then you look at the front page and you're like, oh, perfect. It looks wonderful. And then you flip it over

and you're like, what have I done? So wait, Adam's a theater actor as well. So Adam, what was your go-to? How did you do it? So this is a great question. So Alfred, I'm totally with you. And in my Te tevye nicely nicely johnson high school musical days oh my god uh i was doing every word bingo bango every

single word dampening the page giving it literal weight now as i've matured into an old old man uh i'm more of a minimalist and i'm just the character name so i've i've had a bit of an evolution in my process. Oh yeah. And that was the evolution just from like, I think it changed from like freshman, sophomore year of high school to junior, senior year of high school. And then I reverted back freshman,

sophomore year of college and then went back again because it was like starting to be in plays and musicals. And I was like, oh, well the more lines I have, I want everyone to know when they open my script. So just like when they're peering over my shoulder on the bus she has to memorize so much thank god she highlighted it but then like when i was an upperclassman in high school i was just like no i don't need that kind of validation anymore yeah

and yeah i just do my name and then college it was like well now i'm in college and so it was just kind of the same cycle. It's that freshman year, senior year. Time is a flat circle. Time is a flat circle. I actually had a question about your, you were saying that it was in college that you experimented with the sort of the full array of the full color spectrum of highlighter, right?

Is that what you're saying? Yeah. So did the different colors serve, was it purely aesthetic or was it different functionalities? Like yellow is a passage to remember. Purple relates to the final. Blue is for the midterm. Was it purely aesthetic or was it different functionalities? It was like yellow is a passage to remember purple. It relates to the final blue is for the midterm. Was it like that? That's a good question. It was purely arbitrary and just for the colors alone.

It was a mood ring. It's a mood ring. It was a mood ring. Mood ring situation. Situation. Absolutely. I still have them. Like they're kind of just like pastels.

And I tried one a couple of months ago. I was gonna say the other day. That's pastels and I tried one a couple months ago I was gonna say the other day that's a lie um I tried a couple months ago and it's just home let me do it on piece of paper it's it's this purple one this is perfect for an audio medium no yeah yes yes and it's it's barely there hold on yeah right light so light yeah yeah so yeah so very much just sticking to the to the yellow now the yellow the neon you want the black text to pop against the neon that's sort of the color that's the point of it a little bit yeah

I feel like I'm sorry you go first Alfred no I was gonna say something so dumb and so unhelpful to the conversation I was just gonna say I think this is revealing a certain something about my background and my upbringing but there was a thing when i was a kid especially when i was a teenager where people had bibles and they would do like close readings of the bible yeah and they would highlight and annotate and they would like and it was it was just like what like how riley is

where it was like a bragging thing and it was was like, they would, you know, take the Bible out of the bag to be like, look how I've highlighted every word. What circumstance just take us to a circumstance where someone has this Bible. Cause I don't really understand. Like you're saying people had Bibles. Who? I guess,

I guess it is specifically in like a religion class. Okay. Kind of like context. But, but, but where it was like this and was like and I have a particularly cursed Instagram reels algorithm where I

get a lot of this content highlighting Bible content? Yes, genuinely just like people like young Christian influencers bragging about how much they read their Bible I would watch that reality show it's just this horrible like sick fascination I bragging about how much they read their Bible. Oh my God. I would watch that reality show. Young Christian Influencers.

It's just this horrible, like sick fascination I have with the, like, like the whole like Christian influencer subculture is out of this world. I feel like, I feel like early two thousands, like IFC would have some like Paul Scheer type show that was called Young Christian Influencers.

Yeah. You know, just like some parody of like reality shows like that. We're coming up like crazy. Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm so sorry. No, I didn't mean to. We're all very.

Let's just get this out of the way. We're all very sorry. Everyone's very sorry. Deeply apologetic for my whole existence. You first. So, Alfred, as a non-Christian person and someone who's fairly unfamiliar with sort of a bible etiquette uh it's not sacrilegious to take a highlighter to thine bible it's actually a sign of respect yeah great question and like i you know my childhood was was strange i also was

not christian i was not sort of actively participating i was just kind of around the like culture of it totally and it definitely was cool to do and like good to do and and not seen as being sacrilegious in any sense and it was like physical proof of how much you were reading it and like my equivalent of that was I wonder if I even have one on the shelf

somewhere pulls out his bible when I was in high school and college and doing plays and stuff the the amount of beat up that the play would get you know what i mean like looks like someone who dropped it in the bath and then wrung it out and torn it was like i would kind of walk around with it to be like yeah this is how much i fucking read the play i'm in i'm committed i'm invested you know you might drink coffee because there's a coffee staying on it. And I'm a junior in high school. I'm the man.

I think, you know, that's like my closest thing to getting into that kind of Bible highlighting mindset is like it's a way of telegraphing to people like, yeah, I read. It's a virtue signal. It's a virtue. It's a virtue signal. It's a virtue signal. It's a virtue signal for sure. You're seeing how dedicated I am to XYZ, to the Bible, to our town, to, you know, whatever. Really just those two things. Speaking of, so we'll transition to the reviews because that's so crazy that like I was, as I was looking up reviews, I was very much expecting like a lot of students or people in college, high school, grad school, whatever. A lot of people being like, this is perfect to highlight my Bible. It didn't see through or like, don't use like a lot of Bible reviewers.

It was very surprising to me. YCI, YCI, Young Christian Influencers. Young Christian Influencers. YCI on IFC. Like one of the, one of the highlights I found, which was like, I don't know if one of the, I don't think the review, the reviews that I pulled from this, but they were from like,

it's, it's called like aesthetic, cute highlighters, mild assorted colors. And the color, the title of the color pack was youth. There's youth and happiness are the two color packs. And it's also advertised as like a fast,

easy to hold for journal bible planner notes like bible's in there notes really so interesting that the highlighter um like the highlighter industry is sort of leaning into the they're sort of embracing the bible and these colors which you know you guys can see these are very much like, yes, those colors that you'd highlight a Bible with. Who wants to start it? Alfred, do you want to go or should I? I can absolutely go. Crazy.

I'm just going to get wild with it. This one is for a very specific kind of highlighter. This is the Sanford Mr. Sketch watercolor markers scented. Oh, sure. A sourced colors set of 12. Tyler P. Perry. Perry.

Tyler Perry. Thank you. One star. Okay. One star. World's best smelling markers. The one star rating is not for the markers. It's for my mom.

No, he's cost six bucks and you wouldn't buy them for me in 1991. This is complete and utter bull. The one thing that kept second grade Tyler Perry from not being happy was the fact that he didn't have Mr. Sketch nice smelly markers and had to smell other people's. We all know that second graders are greedy and nobody would let me smell them for long. The blue one was my favorite.

No. And blue was blueberry. It's unhinged. Blueberry. So I previously said that no one usually says the word ajar angrily. Yeah. But just hearing the first half of

bullshit angrily. Bull. This is bull. This is bull. It's like, I also imagine that it's like he either is still in contact with his mom or like his mom's still alive or still lives there. Where it's like he can't fully he can't say bullshit. He's right.

Mom, it's it's it's such bull. Right. He wrote this for his mom to see, but he also knows that mom doesn't let him curse. Right. Spoken like a true young Christian. He like knows he's like, I'm mad. I'm really effing mad right now. He's also definitely a huffer.

I just want to get ahead of that. He definitely huffs. I didn't smell him for too long. They didn't let me smell him for long. You could feel the unfinished business in his review. He was a second grader who wanted to get high in class, clearly.

That is really amazing. It's like he comes home from school. He's like, hey, comes home from school he's like hey mom hey tyler how was school it's fine it doesn't look so fine what are you upset about nothing nothing it's not a big deal i'm just like some stuff happened at school it's not a big deal well come on pull up a chair i just made some cookies you can have some talk to. I'm always an open ear. Your dad will be home from work soon.

So just, you know, if you want to want to have a deep talk, maybe do it now before dad gets home. That's true. That's good. We should probably

get that out of the way before dad gets home. Because, you know, dad hates that kind of stuff. Emotional depth. Yes. Yeah. I mean, you didn't

have a chance to look at I forgot my keys. Someone open up. I forgot my keys. Oh, it's cold. I forgot my keys. Someone open up. I forgot my keys. Oh. It's cold. I forgot my keys. Carly, the door's open.

The door is open. You didn't need your keys. The door's open. Just come inside. Sorry, I'm in a bad mood. What were you guys talking about? Okay. Oh.

Tyler had a kind of rough day at school. No, rough is the wrong word. Rough, rough, like, i meant rough like dog uh like a dog goes rough you meant rough like dog yeah yeah yeah don't worry about it dad it was a good day there was a puppy and i made friends with him and everybody said i was really cool for having a puppy for a friend so you go you go up to your office or do whatever you were gonna do dad it's not a big deal i actually have a buddy of mine who's in a real bad mood right now and he's coming over and the last thing he wants to talk about is dogs so oh i'm sorry dogs so uh if the knock on the door comes anytime

soon like in three two wait what should we talk knock knock knock i'm pissed off. Oh, my God. Why do you keep bringing all of your angry friends over from work, Charlie? It's open. It's open. It's open. I'm in a bad mood, too, now. Now I'm in a bad mood. Last thing I need is an unlocked door. Here I am. Hello, everyone. Hi. It's your dad's friend. Hey, how are you? What's your name? My name's Tyler, T-H-Y. The H is silent. Oh, that's so funny. I'm marion and this is actually our son tyler t-y-l-e-r nice to meet you mr tyler oh great another guy with my name just pisses me off

literally the last thing i need right now hey what's up man oh i had a good day at school good oh tell me about it i'm really curious oh uh um it started off really good Because there were no dogs around And nobody was barking like a dog either Honey, didn't you just say that your rough day Was like, oh, rough, rough like dog Oh, God Tyler hates that Don't talk about it

Tyler hates that kind of stuff Sorry, I just Tyler hates that kind of stuff I don't know this, Tyler But I know our Tyler wants to talk about our day Honey, will you just come over here for a second? Tyler, Tyler, we'll be right back.

Oh, no problem, man. I'll just talk to Tyler here. Honey, honey. Yes. I don't know if I mentioned this, but I'm in a pissed off mood. I can tell. It's going to become your default lately,

not going to lie. And my buddy's here, Tyler, and he's pissed. Is he staying for dinner? Why is he here? I don't know why he's here he said can I come over I'm super pissed can we not talk about dogs and I said I promise we won't talk about dogs so throw the rough rough stuff out the window and let's just get okay okay well before we go back

over there I just want to let you know that you're prioritizing this mad man over your son right now so that's what that's what you Okay. As long as you're aware that that's happening. Yes. He's my pissed off buddy and I love him. Great. Tyler. Tyler. I know that we've never met before. This is our first time meeting, but I'm going to confess something actually really serious to you right now. I'm not actually pissed off. I act pissed off to be close to your dad. I'm super happy-go-lucky. I'm carefree as hell dude and i want to hear all about your day rough rough like dog meow meow like cat whatever hey tyler we're done talking in the corner oh great because i was kidding i'm still pissed off i was just telling your son how pissed i am all

the time well i really appreciate you not talking to my son about how angry you are tyler my tyler not you i want to hear about your day at school and we all want to my son about how angry you are tyler my tyler not you i want to hear about your day at school and we all want to know yeah right i mean you could say it if you want but i'll only half listen well it was it was wrong with you it was it was rough rough like dog but not like dog that goes bark like a hot dog who's this case is rough on it it's a rough rough hot dog casing kind of day hot dogs yeah the teacher can't be healthy the creature i mean teacher what do you mean a creature gave you a rough hot dog sorry that's my history teacher her name is mrs creature and she microwaves a teacher named creature yes have a teacher named Creature? Pisses me off.

I'm pissed too. Now I'm pissed. She's really sweet. She microwaves the hot dogs too long so all the water comes out and they get really rough and wrinkled and they're really good though with cats up. Speaking of cats, do you guys have any pets?

Mr. Tyler? Do I have pets? Yeah, I got pets. I got three kids. I call them my pets. They act like animals, all right? They piss me off each worse than the last. Charlie, can I talk to you for a second? I'm so sorry, Tyler and Tyler. Yeah, no problem. Can I talk to you for a second?

Yeah, sure. I'm pissed, but sure. I'm pissed now, too. We're all mad. Great, finally. No, what do you mean finally? We're all mad. I'm trying to have a nice afternoon with our son A nice normal day And now fucking Tyler is in here He's saying oh I'm gonna half listen

I'm gonna half listen to your fucking kid I don't have kids I have fucking animals Why are you friends with him what is his deal I'm not friends with him I hired Tyler Our son doesn't talk about how he actually feels And it's driving me crazy. I brought a pissed off guy over here to try and get the pissed off energy out of our Tyler.

Well, it seems like you're the one with the pissed off energy. It seems like you're the one coming home from work with the pissed off energy. And that's why I'm pissed off. I want joy in the household. It doesn't seem like it. And it hasn't seemed like that for the past seven years. I'll tell you that much. Will you stop being so pissed off for once?

For once. i just want tyler to say it like it is i don't want to hear about teacher creature i don't want to hear about rough hot dogs or social studies class if tyler can't get the real emotions out of tyler i don't know if anyone can so tyler i have a second massive confession oh no and i'm sorry to lay this all on you i know you're just a kid but honestly um so i know okay cool uh first of all your teacher creature sounds rad and second of all i love dry hot yeah i love dry hot dogs and if you have extra next time swing by dude drop them off i'd love to have one but here's the thing i'm not really your dad's i'm not really your dad's friend your dad hired me to get to sort of hopefully in the hopes of

sort of opening you up emotionally. And he was hoping that my pissed off energy would sort of bring out in you whatever you're pissed off about and be the sort of cathartic experience. But your dad doesn't know I'm not really pissed off i'm actually happy go lucky as fuck he doesn't know that though so please don't tell him i wouldn't i would never okay cool so that's just our little secret okay hey what's up tyler still pissed still pissed pissed off talking to your kid and pissed yeah yeah hear that what were you guys talking about oh nothing just basically what pisses us off uh tyler you were just about to tell me what pisses you off. Why don't you tell the group?

I don't like this energy. Tell us, Tyler. I would actually love to hear what pisses you off. Okay. Let it rip, big guy. Okay. I guess what really You can say it. Please, me-o. You can say it.

Say piss, son. Say piss say it. Say piss, son. Say piss, buddy. Say piss, buddy. I guess what really pisses me off. Say it normal. Say it normal. Say it normal like you've said it before.

It's normal to be pissed. But I've never said it before. Okay. What really pisses me off that was like a z you said like this pisses yeah it's not cool to put a z in it it's not cool imagine you're pissing imagine you're pissing son what sound does piss make charlie your lips are moving but nothing's coming out yeah right that's what it sounds like alright we may have gotten off track

what pisses you off um what pisses me off is when my parents don't have the same expectations of me oh god here we go forget it

I'm out I'm out I. Tyler, you can go home. Tyler, you can go home. I don't have time for this bullshit. What? No. Come on. Tyler, I'll Venmo you. Shocker. Tyler, you have Venmo? You have Cash App? Sell. Of course he has Sell. No one fucking uses Sell. I'll sell you. I'll sell you. I'm going to bed.

I'm going to bed. It's four o'clock. Anyway, so your dad's going upstairs. I guess he's going to bed. And it's four o'clock. Anyway, so your dad's going upstairs. I guess he's going to bed. And it's been really, frankly, shitty meeting you both. And really awful to say, please,

Marion. Thank you. I'm putting in quotes for having me in your home. You suck. You really suck. And I would love for you to not be here anymore. I wish I could tell you how I really feel about that, but I'm just going to say that.

What do you mean to Mr. Tyler? Can I talk to you in the corner? Yeah, let's talk in the corner. Mr. Tyler, can I give you a big, big secret? Yeah, of course. I actually had the most boring day of school ever. Nothing happened. I made all that Miss Creature shit up.

Oh, I swore. I must be growing up. Yeah, I think you are. That's okay. Anyway, I have to pretend to be pissed off for mom because she likes when she can console me. It gives her a purpose. And then I have to pretend not to be pissed off for dad

because he's so grumpy, angry all the time. It doesn't work. So I'm constantly playing this two-faced game like Mr. Harvey Dent. Anyway, I'm getting all scattered. Can we go somewhere, just you and me, to like, I don't know, hang out, eat a hot dog even? You know, there's a hot dog restaurant that's right around the block. Why don't I pretend to be pissed off? I'll scare your mom away, maybe show her upstairs upstairs and then you and I can go grab a dog

and we'll put some cats up on it or mustard or relish or whatever you'd like yes scare my mom really bad okay hey Marion sorry for that little corner chat but I'm even more pissed than I've ever been before this is basically the pissedest I've

ever been in my whole life so I'm gonna go blow off some steam and. I'm going to go blow off some steam and Tyler and I are going to go blow off some steam together. We're both pretty pissed. No, no, no. This angry man, you are not taking my son to go be angry somewhere. All you've done is come in here.

Ruff, ruff. He's going dog mode. Ruff, ruff. I'm feral. You better get out of here. No, Marion, you get to your room No, I gotta go out the front Yeah, you go out the front And Marion, you get out of here Charlie! Charlie!

The door's locked I can't get out of here I hate locked doors Okay, Tyler, the coast is clear Let's go eat they get rough hot dogs just the way we like them cooked exactly oh let's take a break Anyone need anything on this little break? Just a transcript of that five-act play that we did.

And we're back and we're all eating rough hot dogs provided by Creature Teacher. Teacher Creature. Rough, rough, like dog. Few foods are described as rough. In general. But do you know what I'm talking about, though? Like, if you have- 100%.

Orally prepared hot dogs. Leathering, like, sat on the- Just, like, shrinks. Yeah. Yeah. It's like you open up the barbecue three days later, and you're like, oh, there's still a hot dog on there. Oh. Yeah.

I have a review, if that's crazy. Sweet. Read it away this is for big bright liner highlighters chisel tip 24 count pack of highlighters assorted colors assorted colors let's remember that ideal highlighter set for organizing and coloring so the box um just looks like it has you know five colors in it it has uh little pink orange green blue and it's all assorted so and it's the thin tip this is two stars from California oh we get a last name for California oh O'Brien there you go California O'Brien the title all caps I felt so cheated the one color I did not want when I ordered these was yellow, but I figured with five colors in the box,

I'd just have to live with four or five yellow ones. But boy was I surprised when I opened the box and found 14 yellow highlighters! 14 out of 24! The least they could do is warn you that their idea of quote-un unquote assorted colors means three pink, three orange, two blue, two green, and 14 yellow. Grr.

I get it. I mean, it's been established. It's been established. I get it. It should have been fair review. Nothing but sympathy for California O'Brien. I get it. Do you think that has Starburst rules?

Where it's like you don't know what you get until you unpack it? What do you think? Because I mean, we've all had those packs where we get like 80% the color we hate. And we're like, oh, this sucks. It's going to be a long Starburst session. I mean, I can understand because it's like what we were talking about before. Yellow is the best color of highlighter. I guess not for everybody, but it's the highlighter that makes most sense.

So like, oh, it's assorted, but we're not going to give you even blue. I don't need as many blue highlighters as I do yellow. But I guess not everyone feels that way. You're also buying 24 highlighters. What's going on in your life? You need 24 highlighters. Ultimately,

you're buying five highlighters. And then you're buying backups for a couple of them. That's really what you're buying. Alf, you're shaking your your head how many bibles can one person have exactly seriously even if you have three bibles and you're you're the lead in the play you're not going through 24 highlighters there's no way so billy are you proposing sorry just to circle back to your previous comment are you proposing that maybe bick is doing a thing where it's like each it's not standard that maybe not every uh variety pack is yellow, that it's just sort of a grab bag. And it's questioning Starburst rules.

Yeah, I'm questioning whether that's the case, because I have to imagine that there is just like a bigger pool for yellow ink. Like if there's like a pool for yellow ink and blue and whatever else, like the yellow one has to have more behind it. Right. It's just the most popular one. So I can see a world in which they do that. But I mean, I don't know. What do you think? Do you think that there's a, that they always give you 14 out of 24 yellow? To me, that feels right.

Yeah. Yeah. To me, it feels like the appropriate ratio. It's 60% or so, you know, I'm surprised it's not 50. 12 feels right to me personally. Yeah. Half and half. Half yellow. And the rest are, You know, I'm surprised it's not 50. 12 feels right to me, personally. Yeah, half and half. Half yellow. And the rest are, you know, specialty treats.

Excuse me, Tony, can you come into my office? Shut the door. Shut the door. Behind you, please. Yeah, no problem. Shut. I like to say shut when I shut the door. No, I appreciate that.

Clears things up. I'm going to tell you something in confidence, okay? And I need you to not share it with the rest of the team yet. Okay, boss. There was a slip up at the factory. Oh, gosh. Someone slipped. Someone slipped real bad. They bumped into the machine.

They flipped the dial. The last batch, 80% brown highlighters. Stop it. Yes. No. And that went, that, that, those brown, those brown highlighters. Stop it. Yes. No. And that went that that those brown those brownies were already in circulation out to the public. It was a specialty deal. We were doing it, you know, for a limited runs smelled like cinnamon roll.

And now it's it's the majority of the next year's worth of highlighters is going to be brown. And I brought you in here because you're our marketing guy. You know, you're the genius. So. Right. Thank you. I figure you maybe had a plan. How do we shift these?

How do we get rid of them? What do we do? No, I think you're right. I think something is a problem, as you know, only if you frame it as such. But every problem, as we've talked about a lot, is also an opportunity. So I like to think of this,

which between you and I, absolute motherfucking disaster disaster yeah to try to reframe this as how it could be an opportunity for the big corporation right um so um hi hi uh uh mr wister white i'm so sorry to interrupt um hi uh hello hi tony um i'm sorry hey there um i just wanted to flag something for you i saw one of these on the ground i know you're in a meeting but it's a brown highlighter and i know it's probably a fluke but thank god that we don't make these because what an abomination these would be our whole company would tank isn't that crazy did you tell anyone else about this i tell any um no i just tell anyone shut the door shut the door shut the door please oh my god i'm okay

did i do something wrong no bethany you're you're in the inner sanctum now okay we're gonna bring you into something there was a welcome to the sanctum wait before you tell me before before you tell me is this like a should i know kind of thing or should i just leave right now it's the kind of thing where you already know and now we just need to clarify something okay because highlighters are all about clarification so here we are we're going to highlight the problem with the highlighters uh take it away mr white somebody slipped to the factory he changed a dial 80 of the next year's worth of highlighters are brown we've got stop i'm not that's not funny mr white you're such a prankster. This is so funny.

Bethany, take it from me. Tony, the marketing guy. This is not a joke. Mr. White is not goofing. He's not razzing you. This is serious. 80% of the next year's supply of big highlighters are Doody Brown. Knock, knock.

Knock, knock. And guess what? It's bad news. Bethany, Tony, Mr. White, it's me, Stephen, the social media intern. Someone tweeted it. Someone tweeted what? Someone tweeted it. I don't know. Someone just tweeted. Someone slipped, landed on the dial. Next year's 80% of highlighters are going to be brown and I've got worse news. What's worse than that? They already got shipped out's they're in people's offices as we speak and it's viral people are complaining willy nilly well tony you have to fix this there has got to be a way you can spin it right tony come on absolutely okay i'm going to give you two options right now

okay and this is just uh first thing that comes to mind these are just jump off points uh number one we take our least favorite person who works in the factory and we throw them right under the bus. That classic scapegoat. I love that idea. It wasn't our fault. It was Jerry in construction. We just toss them under the bus and we just let it. We fire.

Jerry's a good guy. Jerry. I wouldn't do that. Jerry. Not Jerry. I was using Jerry as an example. I liked Jerry. Okay.

So whoever it wants to be. But you understand the point. We just take the risk, shove off the responsibility completely and put it on one person, scapegoat style. Perfect. That's just option one. Option two is, and again, I'm just kind of coming up with this here on the fly, but I think there could be something here. So you know how highlighters are meant to make reading easier and you really want that black text to pop against the yellow ink. That's the point.

You know that? Well, what if we repositioned ourselves in the highlighter industry as the impossible to read highlighter? We make reading more difficult and we frame it as a way to sort of put your eyes through like an ultra, it's like an ultra marathon for your eyes.

I'm scrolling the web. I'm scrolling the web. I'm scrolling the web and people are tweeting. Where are my words? Where did my words go? You can make it a challenge. I bet this could go viral on TikTok. If it was like, if it was viral, use your eyes. Like hashtag use your eyes.

Mr. White, it's bleeding out by the minute, sir. We need to thing okay i have an idea i have an idea i have an idea uh tony i love what your head's at what is it that makes brown highlighters hard to read it's the fact that the text is black is also dark right what do we know to be true about highlighters? 90% of highlighters are used on Bibles. What if we did a limited run of Bibles, black pages, white font? Okay, then the brown highlighter doesn't seem so dumb, does it? Seems almost useful. Doesn't it make the letters brown?

It doesn't. It wouldn't make everything blend in on the page. Okay, shit. What if it's a green page and a no wait is this somebody get a color wheel in here i can't think straight listen i think you're onto something mr white and i'm not just saying this because i love to kiss the ass of the boss but you're brilliant and handsome and i i do love that very much yes what if it's a yellow yellow pages and then we make the yellow pages white letters take the brown highlighter and then make the make the letters.

That'll be easier to see on the yellow pages. So you can't read it until you've highlighted it. So then they'll have to buy so many brown highlighters. That's how we that's how we get through the backlog. Yes. So the highlighters reveal the text as opposed to illuminate. And the pages will be so heavy. It'll be such a wet book

but they'll have to they'll have to just keep buying them because i have to go through the whole thing highlight every single letter in the book we know for sure people love wet books people love it when their books get a little wet something damp to something and i also just again i'm not trying to hammer this idea home just because it was mine, but I do want to say, I think there's something in like kids these days have it so easy with their bright yellow highlighters. Everything's so easy to read back in my day. We play the generational card.

We are marketed to boomers. We say, this is like, this is your old school reading where you couldn't make out any of the letters and you have to squint real bad. And you had had a headache afterwards. Wasn't that when reading was was legit? You know what I mean? I like that idea.

But, Stephen, I don't know if you can speak to this as a social media guy. I'm nervous that we might alienate, you know, the YCI is the young Christian influencer audience. That's such a big percentage of our market. There's a lot of tweets coming in right now from the YCI. A lot of tweets. Have you YCI. A lot of tweets. Have you tweeted anything? A lot of tweets. What's your manager?

What's your disaster control? Like a lot of tweets. I've been searching, hitting the search tab. You're just kind of reading them. Right, but what if you send out? What if you put out? Just type in brown highlight disaster. And it's ugly.

The web is ugly right now. Don't remember the question. And you don't get paid. You are an intern. You web is ugly right now. Don't remember the question. And you don't get paid. You are an intern. You're an unpaid intern. Just show up when there's a problem and I tell people about it. And then, but the YCI is the YCI.

When you said somebody tweeted it. Yes. They did. They're guilty. Yep. Right. They, they sent it.

What account did that come from? As far as I know know there's only a few people who can nah nah i have a tweet i have a quick pitch or maybe we can just maybe it's a slogan issue do you remember the up at the brilliant ups slogan what can brown do for you do you remember we all remember that right yeah that's a tweet now that's a tweet now that's a tweet but i would say big turn that frown upside brown. And we just make it, we spin, we can maybe be transparent about, now here, I'm stumbling upon a new idea. Radical transparency. We say, we put out a press release.

Whoops, we browned up. We messed up. Someone slipped in the factory. It moved the dial. 80% of all the highlighters are brown. Whoopsie daisy. We're sorry. We browned out and suddenly we came to brown highlighters everywhere exactly i love it yeah i love it and just radical transparency and

we just say frankly deal with it um enjoy the brown while you have it and like i said turn that friend upside brown it'll be a collector's item one day and tony i love where your head's at i love it i love that love that just just going off of that idea that i love love that idea what if we did we doubled down and we tell a really big lie what if we say instead of being radically transparent it was radically opaque and we just say it was radically opaque and hidden in one of the brown highlighters is a golden ticket whoever gets that gets to come to the factory and be the new mr white and here's the twist we don't put a ticket in any of them so then they just keep buying them keep buying them i love that idea i love that idea that does feel like that does

feel like fraud no f word no f word no effort we don't like to say that we don't say it but that feels like what it is i think it was okay i'd also like to backtrack. We don't say it, but that feels like what it is. Not a crime if you didn't think it was, okay? I'd also like to backtrack. I love all these ideas. I do. There's something that I haven't, I haven't even stopped thinking about is when we did ask Stephen who tweeted it, all he said was no, no, no.

Nope, they sent it. And I feel like that wasn't. Someone clicked send. So you are online. Someone, yep, I saw it. So pull up the tweet, pull up the original tweet, and please, I do want to know. Yeah, exactly. So Mr. White, you have to see that. So clearly Stephen up the tweet pull up the original tweet and please i do want to know yeah exactly so mr right you have to see that so clearly steven said the tweet obviously i'm just

gonna go up the limit say steven said the tweet i am having a little bit of a occam's razor you know first idea best idea thing where it's like the original pitch was scapegoat tony said let's find a scapegoat i actually i i gotta i gotta. Let's find a scapegoat. I gotta go. You know how these days can be. Let's get Jerry from construction. Let's get Jerry in here. Jerry's a good guy. Jerry.

You know what? Knock, knock. Hey, Mr. What? It's Jerry. Sorry. I don't know if you know my face you just know me from uh uh sending me my checks um you guys see me i know exactly who you are i have a photographic memory i know the face and name oh that's really nice to hear yeah and you look down sadder than you looked in your id picture that's for sure well i mean i i know mr i i i know that brown gate is really trending right now and i'm really i'm really sorry it's just you know there was a rogue highlighter

on the floor i tripped i i twisted my ankle and then whoops there you go i hit the lever and now it's it's brown out across the nation and it just really sucks that like then stephen came over took a pic started laughing i got up on my twisted ankle. He tripped me on my good ankle. I fell back down again, twisted the second ankle. I thought that I had left. Oh, my God. I'm still here.

The closet and then just like shut the door. I mean, Jerry, he's he's right. He's wrong. I did trip Jerry and I did take a pick but I also said wait until the web gets a hold of this I forgot to mention that he did say

and that was kind of why I just want to at least have my why my why was wait until the web gets a hold of this so did you have a second stage to this plan or you were just like, brown highlighters, that'll be viral?

I thought it'd be viral. I thought it'd be good for the company. I was worried that was what you were going to say. I think there's only one course of action here. Oh, don't fire me, boss. Don't fire me, boss, please. No, Jerry, I would never. I think we have to.

Never, Jerry, never. Shut up, boss. Don't fire me, boss, please. No, Jerry, I would never. I would never. I think we have to. Nah, never, Jerry, never. Shut up, Steven. You suck. I love you, Jerry. We love you, Jerry. We love you, Jerry. We're obsessed with you, Jerry. I say we all just get out of here.

Maybe we all just get out of here. Okay, Bethany, you're being pretty fake right now because earlier you definitely were like, I think it's okay if we put Jerry under the bus. Steven, shut up. Yes, I agree. You're right, Mr. White. I think it's okay. Steven, shut up. Yes, I agree. You're right, Mr. White. I'm out of here.

Throwing Bethany under the bus about throwing Jerry under the bus. Prize fight. No, I love Jerry. I do love Jerry. Do you actually? No, it's just that it's like, he's just like, his personality is just like sad. It's just like he's crying all the time. And it makes me, it's not all the time.

It is. It's a lot of the time. It's a lot of the time. And it makes me, it's not all the time. It is. It's a lot of the time. It's a lot of the time. Most of the time, Jay. Most of the time. Shut up, Steven. Guy, why are you still here? Wait a minute.

Boss, this is giving me an amazing idea. Instead of the scapegoat, you know how sad and pathetic Jerry is all the time? I'm so sorry, Jerry, to talk about it this way, but let's just be honest. We're in a bit of a crisis here. Sad, sad. Sad, sad. Sad, sad. What's sad?

What's more pathetic and sad than Jerry? The only thing more pathetic and sad than Jerry is 80% brown highlighters. Let's rebrand ourselves as the sad sack highlighter brand. We're pathetic. We're downtrodden. We're all sad. I feel like that would sell really well in urban outfitters or something. Like a very much like an ironic highlighter.

And let's, why not? I know I'm just a social media guy with propensity towards tripping my employees and posting it on the web. Not an idea guy, not in the creative department. We know, we know. Wendy's has their crave case. What if we had our sad sack 24 browns in a sack Like a bindle sold Next to old train tracks Sad sack 24 brown Highlighters in a bindle Sold next to the train tracks

Next to the tracks Mr. White Jerry have you ever heard of a folk hero Oh what A folk hero it's somebody you know who appeared in the popular culture met you know 100 years ago and has achieved this kind of status as like a real man of the people type you know yeah i think you could be like the hamburglar just like that okay i was thinking more john henry but i guess the hamburglar is a good example. Maybe Ronald McDonald.

Sure. Okay. I think you might have a little bit of tunnel vision, Jerry, but what about we get you in front of a green screen, give you a bindle. Tony, can we do this?

A photo shoot? Absolutely. We got it. You're riding the rails. Johnny Appleseed. That's a great example. Okay. Not.

Okay. Okay. So, you know, Johnny Appleseed, but you a great example. Okay. Not. Okay. Okay. So, you know, Johnny Appleseed, but you don't. Okay. Of course. Who doesn't know Johnny Appleseed? I don't know. Okay.

So we just get you. You go across the country. You're throwing. You're throwing brown highlighters. I'm going across the country. Chalking them, Jerry. Sending them. By rail.

By rail. Not on a green screen or for real? Now I think it should be for real. Now that I've said for real now I think it should be for real now that I've said it I really think it should be real I don't think it works you're sending Jerry to go to be the face of sad well actually I'm saying that out loud

and you know what Bethany you're going with him no no choice I could be down for that yeah and if you guys fall in love you fall in love opposites attract opposites attract Beth if it happens it happens you guys will be browning out

if it happens it happens tweet it you know Kona nobody tell HR basically anything that happens nobody has ever said anything I got bad news someone tweeted the plan Someone tweeted the plan.

Somebody tweeted the plan. Stephen, did you tweet the plan? It's viral. Did you, Stephen? Oh, no, it's viral. Oh, no. Let me, hold on. I'm pulling out my button.

You keep saying, if he's just tweeted. All right, it has three likes. I think Stephen just wants to be fired. It just says, Jerry's going on the road with Bethany. Handful of sad sacks. Bring your bindle. Who tweeted it? Oh, no.

Who tweeted this? Ay, ay, ay. Steven seems to disassociate from his own tweets or something. It's like a psychological disorder, it almost seems like. You know what, Steven? I think you should go with him. Sign me up, boss. Live tweet the whole freaking journey, man.

Hashtag brown out. Let's get on the train. Hashtag brown the rails. Oh, God. Wow. Hashtag. Guys, let's all hashtag brown the rails. Let's get that going for real. It used to be packed the poles. Don't pack the poles anymore. Now brown the rails. Brown the rails. Let's get that going for real. Brown the rails. Let's get that going.

It used to be pack the poles. Don't pack the poles anymore. Now brown the rails. Bring your brown highlighters on a cross-country journey on the rails. Should we get to our last segment? Let's do it.

Yes! You shook me off! Oh my God! Billy and Adam, what has been shaking your asses, for better or for worse? What can't you stop thinking about? Anything good, bad, gripes, joys? Tell us about it. Whoa.

Good, bad, gripes, joys. Billy, I'll let you take the lead on this. Damn, let me. He's letting me. Like I'm born ready for this. I've been watching a Pez documentary. I'm four nights in. The candy? Yes yes the candy but it's about it's about how um it's a documentary it's a movie i usually make

it about 20 minutes per night on a movie before i fall asleep so four nights in is an interesting way of describing yeah i'm 80 minutes so i'm 80 minutes into a 90 minute movie so tonight is the anticipation the anticipated ending, but it's about a guy who is like a collector. And he found this like weird loophole where Pez never made this. Like you can only bring so much of a product cross country before it gets flagged by like, like if you brought like $10,000 worth of jewelry from Italy to America,

it's flagged at the border or whatever. He found this loophole where Pez like forgot their lawyers, forgot to put it in their contracts. Whereas like, you can't bring our ultra expensive, ultra rare, whatever, like you could bring as much as you want.

And he found out this funny way. And he just became this like black market Pez dealer for collectors. And he's like, it's like a G rated drug running story where it's just about Pez containers. But it has the like like intensity of like real danger and real crime and um i just i don't watch scary stuff at night i don't watch like uh like uh scary or sad stories it just like totally affects my subconscious so this is like the perfect like you can put hot sauce on like a healthy meal like it's like okay you can watch

this program because it's not going to scare you or make you angry but also it's a little dangerous so that's been called i think it's called the the the pez outlaw something like that maybe it's like one of those things where it's like oh netflix had 75 000 more dollars and they were like like what was that every minute what was a three minute video that we can stretch into 75 minutes? It's literally that. The entire Netflix documentary series that I did watch that was called Pepsi, Where's My Jet? Oh, yeah. I tried that.

I tried that. What was that? It was about a guy who basically Pepsi made this very ill-advised commercial where they said that you could get a harrier jet if you redeemed like a certain like 60 million pepsi points and they didn't put like this is fake in the disclaimer and so the guy like sued them and was like i got 60 000 pepsi points where where's my jet and it was all it was all but i have a question about the pez though it's like what is an ultra rare pez so is he bringing so there's two different pez production agencies one is in america and one is international and america has very specific licensing things that they can and cannot make

and they only exist in america but there are like these like pez production companies around the world where they have like a little bit more like leeway to just make what they want and like anything else supply and demand so like if five of these ultra rare type of Pez dispensers were made, they're suddenly worth the price of gold. So he goes out and searches for them and then brings them back to the States and sells them at an incredible markup. So it's like, it really is this very G rated item that they're selling.

Yeah. It's like, it's like fine art, but it's about Pez dispensers. Totally. But it goes down smooth. It's a really fun watch. It's like fine art, but it's about Pez dispensers. Sure. Pez, totally. But it goes down smooth. It's a really fun watch. It's like done in a really fun way.

And it's only 90 minutes. So if you're like me, it only takes like a week and a half to watch. That reminds me, Alfred, shockingly enough, I do have a watch with me that relates to watching scary things at night. So I'm clinically what's known as a weenie

and I don't like scary things. I get scared very easily. I'm such a little chicken. And I've been seeing on Twitter, I'm on a lot of film Twitter threads and I've been seeing, this is coming out probably in March so I don't know if the hype for this will die down. And by this I mean this episode. So at the time of recording, at the end of January, I've been seeing a lot of discourse about the new experimental horror film Skinnamorink. And I don't know anything. I didn't know anything about it.

I didn't even know it was a horror movie. I've just been seeing like amazing things online. And I just like based on the time, like sounds like probably like a cool new indie film. Yeah. And so I Googled Skinnamorink trailer last night at like 10 PM as I was getting out of bed. Uh-oh. Mistake. It is the most disturbing trailer I've ever seen.

And like nothing even happens. It's, Billy, you know of it, you know? It is horrifying. But what makes it, I didn't watch the trailer. If you didn't really see much, what actually horrified you? It is just every the visuals i mean it's like people described it it's like it is like it is like watching a nightmare because it's like it's nothing like too jarring it's just like it's like a kid's pov of like a

house at night like a dark house at night there you go and it's horrifying yeah yeah that's it i'm already chilled yeah and so then so what i do because it's like i watched the trailer and immediately after i'm like oh i don't want to see that and what i do with scary movies that i know i'm not going to watch but i still want to be involved in like knowing about it is i'll look up i'll go to wikipedia i'll be like skinnamarink plot so i can be like okay here's because i'm not going to see it i can spoil it for myself that's a type that's a real that's there's like a subculture i did it with barbarian like all that i'm very much like i'm not going to see these horror movies.

I believe they're good. I did it with Hereditary. Anyway, so I did it with Skidamarink and just reading about it. Again, nothing even really happens in this movie, but reading the plot,

I was so upset. I like, I felt so gross and so scared. And I look over at Daniel. I'm like, why did I do that? So she right before bed. Right. That was so stupid. Right. And so I'm like why did I do that especially right before bed that was so stupid and so I'm like I gotta

have a palate cleanser and so the Taylor Swift Lavender Haze music came out last night I did watch that and then I'm like that wasn't enough that was only three and a half minutes I need a bigger hit of something nice so I famously love watching ride throughs of amusement park rides

on YouTube and so the new Super Nintendo World So I famously love watching ride throughs of amusement park rides on YouTube. Great. Great. And so that's cool. The new super, super Nintendo world. Uh, you know,

I want to go so bad. We're going to go to like probably next month. I'm so excited. Um, and I did watch the ride through of the Mario cart ride and that did help me. Good. When you watch the ride throughs of these roller coasters,

is it meditative and calming to you or is it exhilarating? Is, is it like, that's an amazing question, Adam. Thank you so much. You crushed. That was a great question.

Thank you guys. Thank you guys. It's, it's a little bit of both. It's a little bit, cause it's like, I hate roller coasters, but it's like,

I'm fine with the rides because I'm like, oh, this is so awesome because I'm never going to do this. And I kind of get the vibe of what it is. And it's almost confirming for me that it feels meditative because I'm like, ah, I am right to know that this, I would shit myself.

It's interesting because it's basically the, it's, it's that his, it's the same thing as reading the Wikipedia. That's right. Yes. Literally. It is the same thing.

It's just like, I'm not ever going to actually participate in this, but it's like, but I want to know. I'm getting an understanding of it. Yep. Yes. Absolutely.

Yes. That's what shook me. So Skinnamarie ring apparently it's doing really well good and now skin and ringy dinky dink skin and ringy do i love you i'm like such a cutesy song is that is that where the the title of the song i would imagine so right oh no i imagine the title of the song comes from the movie no sorry the title of the movie comes from the song i would imagine so okay because that song what was that from was that from um i just remember it was like generally sesame street adjacent maybe maybe like pbs show one of those lamb chop type shows yeah but that theme song um is like ripe for a really scary jordan jordan pool remix or yes exactly i got five but i yeah i something about kid whenever it's a horror movie

with like kids in it i get very stressed um unless it's megan in which case i was loving it was it so fun i have yet to see it is it so awesome it's a blast it's a riot time okay great the movie theater in chicago i think i already talked about this on an episode but the movie theater in chicago that's nearest to me is like on a college campus basically so it was like me and a bunch of like gen z kids amazing last because they were cool they were losing it well that sort of dovetails into what sort of shook me all week long because i know that the um actor comedian brian jordan alvarez is in that movie movie. And I'm sure you guys are familiar. His Instagram, is like the funniest thing basically

on the internet these days. And I keep returning to his dumb characters in videos. So I mean, did you go to college with Brian Jordan Alvarez? No, I don't think so. I don't think so. He may have also went to the same school.

I'm not sure though. I didn't really know him. I don't really know him that well. I don't know him at all. Frankly, we've crossed paths a handful of times, but that he is brutally hilarious. So, so, so, so funny. I'm going to start saying that to people who I've never met.

Be like, oh, I don't really know them that well, which isn't a lie. I don't know them that well. Michelle Obama. I don't know Michelle Obama that well. Michelle. Michelle. Michelle. Michelle.

Michelle. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, I don't know her that well. Yeah. I mean, I know of Michelle Obama. Of course yeah no I don't know her that well yeah no I mean I know of Michelle Obama of course just I don't know oh my god and and first name's too and I don't know and that well not that well not that well but I love her work yeah no no and it's great and it's great close yeah yeah we're not close Meryl we're not close and I'll leave it at that yeah we're not close. We're not close, and I'll leave it at that. We're not close, and I'll leave it at that. I love that. Brian Giornova, his videos, TJ Mac,

I got a cameo of TJ Mac for my birthday last year. Oh, did you? It was amazing. He's just a demented genius. But I want to see Megan, so thank you for reminding me to see that movie. Alfredo. And that transitions really cleanly into why what shook me. Megan is sort of a little demon thing, just like my cat.

And our cat has decided that she doesn't like to piss in the litter box anymore. Now you can say piss! She just doesn't like to piss in corners. And so we have got this really like just sort of losing game going where we have to put a piece of furniture in every single corner of the apartment. Because she was like pissing in one corner. We were like, perfect. We'll just put a side table there. That'll stop it. It did.

She was using the litter box for like a week. And then boom, new corner. We're like, great. That doesn't matter. We'll just move the, we'll just move a different side table to that. And it's like every my god every single corner table in it can i it's like can i suggest a solution potentially please cover the entire floor in uh litter box make just just make the whole floor if you can't win join them

just make the whole thing a litter box and then everyone can piss and shit wherever to their hearts alone why don't they make the whole plane out of the black box that's what i'm saying it's a great point and i think now that you've said that i'm realizing that a lot of my frustration is just jealousy i see her piss in the corner and i'm like that lucky little shit i wish i was allowed to piss in the corner i just love that your cat is your D is, has become your interior decorator against you. Yeah. She's like,

this is how the living room will look. Yeah. The feng shui is horrible. Exactly. But at least there's no P in the corner. Well, God, really not.

Thank you so much for joining us. A pleasure as always plugs. Where can people find you? Lusta, where can they find you? No Joke Podcast at No Joke Pod on Twitter. New episodes come out on the Headcum Podcast Network every Friday. Please, please

download or upload, sideload, however you want to load that. Just load it up. Just load it up and subscribe. No Joke Podcast. No Joke Podcast, yep. Adam's at Adam Lustick. I joke podcast. No joke podcast. Yep. Adam's at Adam Lustig.

I'm at Billy Scafuri. And you know where to find us. We've done enough of these. Yes. You can find Alfred on Instagram and Alfred in it. You can find the show on Instagram at review, review, Reddit,

our slash review, review and head gum discord review, review. And you can find Riley on Instagram.com at Riley and spa web browser only not the app. And you can find her on twitter.com for as long it lasts at Riley. And our catchphrase that we do every week, every week, every week, and we all know it. You guys know it too. So we all say it with it so we're all going to say it at the same time okay countdown countdown

3, 2, 1 so school school until tomorrow until tomorrow school folks until tomorrow that's it the classic sign off

bye bye that was a Hiddem original school folks till tomorrow. That's it. The classic sign off. Bye. Bye. That was a Hiddem original.