Review Revue - Joke Books

Episode Date: April 4, 2023

Alf and Reilly return this week to post porn, perform crowd work, break two-party laws, and read reviews on JOKE BOOKS.  Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh @alfredinnit Twitter: @reilecoyote  Join the discord here! <><> Produced by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fm  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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This is a HeadGum Original. I hear the podcast coming Downloading on my phone The cover art looks different I wonder what's going on But I hear a brand new voice So charming and kind is better than Jeffrey James

this is Alfred's time he's doing all the improv with Riley Espar she thinks the mouse from Flushed Away is hard. Oh, how bizarre. At least we all have Alfred.

Oh, please, man, set us free. Because we'll listen to the podcast for Alfred and not Riley Okay, so I got some thoughts. So that was from... As far as it's been said, I think we can all agree. That was from Jamie. Jamie says, Howdy from a stepdad,

Alfred's motherland. Nothing to plug, just a song to welcome Alf to the pod. Thanks, fuck the Tories. Amen to that. Here's the thing. Was it beautiful the voice great music great of course was the voice like metaphorically like not metaphorically metaphysically like the voice of the song like the the message of the song good no it wasn't no it wasn't it wasn't oh, what would you quibble with? I guess saying that we'll listen to the podcast for Alpha, not Riley.

Sure. Simply because I think the rat from Flushed Away is hot. I mean, you chose to share that? But it's like, listen, if you've been with the show for three years now. Right. And you know that I'm into some freaky shit. Yeah. And that one thing, that one thing is the

straw that broke the camel's back i don't know what to tell you then you're fake fans you're fake listeners well they're very real listeners thankfully um i think that you uh it has soured me today no it has soured me i think you you need to acknowledge your own part in this, I guess. You brought this on yourself. You should have kept that to yourself. You never should have put that on public forum. No, because I wear my heart on my sleeve, Alfred. I wear my heart on my sleeve.

Oh, sorry. Sorry, I like to share. Sorry, I care. And sorry, I have great hair. That was because you said share. What's new Elfreeny teeny I did that because you said share What is new with you Bitch

I don't know pussycat Because you said what's new Tom Jones anybody I know What's new is that song made by freaking day I've got a roast chicken in the oven right now not to brag I do is that a euphemism yes I haven't shit in three days no I oh come on you love that stuff you're always making those kind of jokes you're awful today no no no that's you

you've got me fucked up with you actually you. You're mistaken. You're thinking about yourself and you're saying me. Stop cursing, actually. I know. I'm doing a lot of swarring on this one. Yeah, I guess I got that roast chicken in. I can smell it all the way over here in my room, which is lovely. And it smells like burning. Wait, I got to. Oh, I have to go. So, so yeah i'm excited to eat that um other than that it's a balmy 50 degrees here in chicago illinois which is a not a usual thing for this time of year so i'm living large how about you is it i bet it's ice ice cold where you are it's icy here actually today's today's nice today's like in the 70s. It's going to be raining this week, which I'm excited about. What is new?

What is new? Oh, no. I'm saving that for my What Shook Me. I bet I know what it was. No, you don't. You don't. But Alpha and I, I guess what's new with me is I can't, I have a phrase stuck in my head.

This isn't what's shaking me. I mean, it is, but I have a different What Shook Me. But I'll lead with you um what i haven't been able to get out of my head alf and i love elton john and we were we were doing a bit on the phone the other day we were talking about elton john songs and alf noted that like in a lot of his songs he kind of has an american accent when he sings except for there's one line in goodbye yellow brick road that we've just been doing non-stop

and you hear his British accent it'll take you a couple of vodka and tonics except he doesn't say it like that he says it'll take you a couple of vodka and tonics and so now we can't stop doing that so every phone call I've had with Al just starts

with me going it'll take you a couple of vodka and tonics and the other thing about Elton John that we've been making fun of or no I'm sorry reveling in how it's beauty admiring that's the word is I've seen Elton John twice live in concert and the second time I saw

him he had the flu which exacerbated the already glaring thing about Elton John's music which is that his voice has dropped about three octaves in the last 30 years. Every 10 years, his voice drops another octave and the flu concert. Hey kids,

hey, you're losing. Been there, been there, been in the gym. Shadow been lying all right for a while. So that has been tickling me buddy hey uh later on man if you're not busy um like i have to refinish the recording yeah um do you want to like i don't know meet at my place then we can go hunt the horny back toad what why are you laughing i'm just asking if you want to emphasis on back do you want

to that's literally how he says it he's no he's the horny back toad you just put the emphasis on back he goes no but it's a horny back toad that's literally it's the horny back toad you wish i was hitting horny harder that's your complaint hunting the horny back toad no because you're doing back again i can't not emphasize actor who can't take a note but the one the note is please stop emphasizing back the horny back toad oh god but we're not here to talk about horny backtoad. Oh, God. But we're not here to talk about horny backtoads. I wish we were. Well, unless. Yeah. But we are here to talk about something that tickles us, gives us a bit of a giggle.

Bit of a chuckle. Might be my new favorite topic and favorite reviews. Pitched by Alfred, shockingly. Okay, I'm not sure why that's a shock. I'm actually the creative genius behind the show. I came up with the idea for a review review. Today we are talking joke books. Alfred, tell me about it. I owned a joke book. It was called The 8-Year-Old's Guide to Podcasting. And everything that I've been doing in the last several months has been ripped directly

from its pages no i did own a joke book i remember very very uh specifically owning purchasing a joke book from barnes and noble uh in probably the year of our lord 2004 that checks out that feels like a prime time for joke right elementary school i was in sue me i'm young um and uh yeah i i try to think about i the only joke i think i remember from that was there was something like um everybody's picking their nose and eating it because they think it's candy, but it's not. Oh my God. But it's not. But it's. See what they did there?

See what they did there? And I think Shakespeare never died. I think Shakespeare's alive and well, and he is somewhere trapped. He's writing joke books. In a garage writing joke books. Here's the thing. I love a joke book. Some of them are really clever and silly and corny, and I love a joke book. Like there are some really like clever and silly and corny.

And I love it. I love like when I was looking up, it's like different age range, but really specific. It's almost like for kids clothing. It's like joke books for kids four to eight, eight to twelve, twelve to sixteen. I saw there was a series that was literally like jokes every eight year old should know. And then like also suggested jokes every seven year old should know. Jokes every nine year old. And I'm like like they really got like a little cottage industry there but i'm not sure that the sense of it i think age ranges is better because i'm not sure a joke book for

eight-year-olds is going to be materially that different than a joke yeah how different for seven to nine um it's it's amazing i remember having a joke book um i don't remember any of the jokes from it unfortunately tragic mine was such a killer but i mean like did you get it like it makes me want to cry of like thinking about like tiny alf like memorizing them and like telling them in school or like was it just to read no no absolutely here's what I did. I memorized them. That makes me want to cry. I told them in school. Oh, bless him. Somebody says, oh my God, what a great joke.

I say, I know. Came up with it myself. No, you didn't. I absolutely did try and pass those jokes off as my own. And I have a very distinct memory of coming to school, being in the elementary school cafeteria, and seeing a girl at the table next to me with the book and thinking like oh no fuck she's she's in on it she's she's it wasn't even so much like she i'm gonna be found out because i don't think i was even aware that i shouldn't have been doing it yeah like but um it was more like fuck she's gonna she's gonna get all the

laughs now um that was your feet yeah which i guess what's revealing about that is i think it explains why i don't know how to read or do basic arithmetic because i was much more focused on who's gonna get the laugh today that is so sad there's there's it's not a joke book but one of my favorite scenes from anything ever so famously my favorite tv show of all time is hello ladies and there's a bit in one of the episodes it's the dinner party episode and steven merchant goes and it's like there's one guy in this dinner party and he's meeting all these people for the first time and steven merchant meets this guy who is like very funny and like very blue sense of humor and like gets everyone

laughing like during the toast and throughout dinner and steven merchant's like trying to keep up and he's realizing that nothing he's saying is landing and so he sneaks off to the bathroom and like googles jokes on his phone and you see him like rehearsing the joke in the bathroom like under his breath and then he goes out and then he starts telling him but then he realizes that it's like the jokes are really problematic and everyone everyone's like that's not funny and then he's trying to explain why the joke is it's it's incredible and they kick him out wow um and that just reminded you a lot of like of you and like all the problematic shit you say i was gonna

say it reminded me you telling the story it was like you were telling a story from your own life and you were like making no no no um can we start you're so excited i am so excited because i i mean guys whether you like it or not i think we're gonna have to do joke books two three four like the reviews it's so ripe for incredible reviews like already people buying joke books and then writing a review there they are some of my favorite reviews. It's like it attracts a reviewer who thinks they're funny. It's amazing. A very specific. And I'm just really upset that you weren't this excited for the Dice episode personally.

Listen, the Dice were, it's Dice. The Dice were, well, it's Dice. Well, Dice. This is for reviews. Okay, so i have a lot okay this is for grandpa's naughty joke book no it's not i also i have to just read the description of grandpa's naughty joke book first there are no dirty jokes or porno in this book. Oh my god. But most are very risque and very funny. We poke fun at everything and everyone.

No exceptions. Black, white, boy, girl, other, democrat or republican. We don't care. They're gonna get it. The author believes a joke a day keeps the doctor away. So, just with that in mind. I'm terrified. This is the review.

You're going to get the show cut from the network. Leah V. Leah Ventriloquist. Leah Ventriloquist. Five stars. Ha ha ha. Ew. Is the subject line. five stars ha ha ha eww is the subject line

oh I thought that was the review I bought this at a bookstore took it to work real shame I never got it back had to order another one the jokes in it are great that book was the most reading

my co-workers have done since I brought an erotic XXX novel to work. Oh my god. Leah? Leah, could you come in my office, please? Yeah, for sure. Awesome. Hey, Leah. First of all, how's your day going

so far? Oh, pretty good. Pretty good. You know, Brad, my husband, he was laid off last week, so he's still. Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. It's a tough time right now. Yeah, absolutely. But, you know, I'm still, you know, I'm still here and the kids are doing great in school, you know, so we're feeling good. That's good. Well, you still being here, that's actually something that I wanted to. It's fine. It's fine.

Yeah. Nothing. No, nothing right home about. Listen, I'm just going to cut. We're taking a few people to the lake this weekend. We're going to do like a little barbecue or something. Oh, that's so nice. Brad's sister and her, my brother-in-law, they have a lake over there.

If you wanted. Lovely. If I, you know what? I, I have plans, but thank you um wanted standing invitation then uh that's very kind of elia yeah um but i guess today unfortunately uh it's a little bit of a might be a little bit of a downer um this meeting because it certainly is for me. Numbers not looking good? Nope.

Numbers are actually, we're doing really, really well. It's our best quarter yet. Oh, congrats. Yes. If you could let me talk, please. I'm sorry. This is just a little bit of a sensitive subject matter. Sorry. My bad.

It's okay. I think you know, you must know what, why i brought you in today um is it about the i don't know is it about the charity whip around i've been doing i'm asking everyone to donate to my my brother has a has a charity rescues cats and dogs and it's not like strictly religious in nature but there is kind of a christian bent so is it like about that like it's not a no And it's not like strictly religious in nature, but there is kind of a Christian bent. So is it like about that? Like it's not a, no, no,

it's not about that. You really don't know. If I'm being honest here, I feel right now I feel pretty confused. The whole, like the office, the entire office, every room is just like plastered,

printed out photos of porn like the entire office like crudely put up like with duct tape is it the christmas you really have no idea is it the christmas tree i put up again it's like i i don't see christmas as a christian holiday i really don't leah it has nothing to do with religion um you are free to practice whatever you like. Obviously, it's about the porn. The porn? The porn, yes. Oh, you mean my sketches? If that's what you want to... I didn't know you drew those.

You're very talented at hyper-realism. No, yeah, no. I mean, some of them are reference images that i leave up so you can compare like i don't need to know that i don't need to know that uh leah obviously this is probably the most egregious thing i've ever seen in this workplace and highly inappropriate so obviously i'm gonna have to fire you but i think before i do i just need to know what went went through your mind when posting really NSFW, you know, photos and drawings around the office?

NSFW is not safe for work. I've seen it on my kids' computers. I don't know if you know what that is. I didn't know. I was really confused. Okay. Yeah, I guess I thought it might cheer folks up i mean you thought porn would cheer people no offense here but ever since you took over um ever since stanley left and you

you took over it's been kind of like bad vibes around here everyone's been really sad and like gloomy and like i guess i thought maybe the porn and my drawings and my naked porn drawings would help you know it's porn so you know it's when i was i'm using that word because you used it i'm using that word because you used it i'm trying to speak to you in a language that you understand um yeah i'm just, I'm sorry. I don't want to lose my temper, but I'm losing my flipping temper right now. Cause you said at the beginning of this meeting that the numbers had never been better. True or false. True. But that's not what we're talking about.

No, I think, no, I think I let you talk. I let you talk. I let you talk. I let you talk. No, I let you talk. I let you the boss i let you talk no leah leah leah leah leah leah leah leah leah leah i let you talk i did i not or let i let you talk did i not or did i not let you talk this is crazy leah i am your boss i am your boss so you are going to let me talk okay you just went zero to 60 do i get to talk do i get you do in a second i'm not done sure i didn't want the energy i know leah you are acting like a child you're fired and i want things out of your office by the end of the day i'm the child okay thank you so much if you you

could go i'm sure things out with uh with mary down in hr with a woman's body is a child not i'm a woman i am comfortable with my body I do not want porn put up in the workplace. Leah, you have to understand that's inappropriate. Yes or no? Do you understand it's inappropriate? Yes or no? No. Frankly.

That doesn't make any sense to me. I think you're insecure about your body. And I think these big ta-tas and these honking. What? You look at the picture. They've all got massive ta-tas. Well, exactly. And the massive ta-tas. That's exactly. And the massive ta-tas.

That's why. That's why. You can't even say it. And you're the baby. Because we're at work. No, I am not the baby. Leah, I need you to pack up your. I'm sorry.

Sorry for what? I'm sorry. Which part? I'm sorry that you were upset by the ta-tas. That's not an apology. No. No, I'm not done. I'm sorry you felt that way.

I let you talk. I let that way. I let you talk. I let you talk. I let you talk. Can I talk now? Can I talk now? Can I say my piece? Can I say my piece? Leah.

Leah. Leah. Fine. Numbers have never been better. Has nothing to do with this. You can poll the office. Everybody will tell you they love the porn. Everybody.

Leah. Can I fucking finish? You said flipping earlier. Yeah, but now I've really lost my rag. Finish it. Everybody except you is comfortable with the porn. I think you're insecure about your body and the porn makes you uncomfortable. here's what i'll tell you fine i'll quit i'll i quit you can't fire me you've already been fired i found you get severance you dumb ass great

leah what of course people are happy with porn around the office everyone loves porn and the issue is it's not professional and i do not want it happening in the office. Wearing Crocs to work isn't professional either. And that didn't stop your ass. Get your things. Okay. Get out of this building. That was definitely across the line.

Take the porn down. No. And go. No. No? You may take my job. But you will never take my porno. Fine. Let's

pull the office. And if they agree that they want it taken down, then you have to take every single piece down yourself by the end of the day. Okay. Open store. Everybody? Everybody? Can I get you to stop working for a second? I'll turn. Yeah, what's up?

So obviously you all know about the situation points the walls going on. The porn. Yeah, the porn. You're talking about the porn. Yep, talking about the porn. Thank you, Brad. Of course. I've just fired Leah. I want you to all hear it from me.

No! What? No, yep, yes. She puts up the porn. Exactly. That's exactly right, Brad. That's why I fired her not leah we love porn leah andy she's being fired so what i porn leah you guys call her porn leah just firing her because you don't like there being another powerful woman in the office nope that is very offensive you say that i need to pull you guys The porn's coming down one way or another Whether I'm taking it down or she's taking it down Boo

No, not boo I know you all love the big taut eyes In the office But I need to show of hands right now Who wants the porn taken down? Who feels like it is disturbing their work and distracting them? Show of hands Nobody's hand goes up

Nobody's hand goes up Who Nobody's hand goes up. Who wants the porn to stay up? Every hand shoots up. Okay. Okay. Cut to. You're still fired. Cut to the boss's interview with their boss.

So, I just wanted to call you in here you probably know what this is about um yeah the porn yeah that whole porn fiasco that went down in you guys's uh office you know the other day i'm so sorry about that it was unbelievably unprofessional and i took care of it she's fired she well no okay so i think we're getting our wires crossed here. What I'm struggling to understand is your branch had the highest numbers of any branch. Not only last quarter, but historically you broke a record. Thank you. We are very proud of that. And I gave them a pizza party to celebrate.

But I feel like that is besides the point i don't think that has anything to do with the porn that was in the office put up by porn leah they called her if you can believe it i think that you should put the back up stewart come on you're pulling my leg um in fact we've instructed the regional managers in all the other branches to poll the offices and see if people are okay with it. And if they are, put the porn up. Sir, trust me, in my experience, people love porn. But it should not be in the workplace. It's very inappropriate. It crosses so many HR violations I cannot even begin to describe. People love porn, but it should not be in the workplace. It's very inappropriate.

It crosses so many HR violations I cannot even begin to describe. Of course, they're not going to say no to porn. But as a leader in the workplace, I think it is up to us to enforce the rules and make sure that no one feels uncomfortable. Here's the thing. At the end of the day, we're a company that sells porn. It's not crazy to have porn up at a company that sells porn. Yes, if we were selling staplers, it would be weird to have porn everywhere. But at the end of the day, we sell porn, ma'am.

I used to be in porn. You used to be in porn. I hear you. I hear you. I'm not ashamed of that. We all used to do porn, and now we work for a company that sells porn. So I don't understand why it's so weird to have porn everywhere. Because we are in an office space. And so there's the limits, there's the boundaries between work and a different kind of work.

And so in this kind of work, we're in the office space. We are running numbers. We're running data. And so that is outside of the set it is outside of the lines that has determined reality and fantasy and this is reality and we're doing work i mean like hell we have we have casual fridays but we also have to come dressed appropriately throughout the week look i hear you i really do i hear you i hear where you're coming from okay i don't know if you do i'm sorry that no i do if it was up to me

i would let all of you regional managers run things how you want to run them you know what i mean thank you thank you it is up to you because you are the ceo well tragically the board board gave me an ultimatum and they said either you get them to put the porn up or they're gone and you're gone who's gone any regional manager who refuses to put the porn up i if i can be honest would never ask for anything else I feel a bit torn about the porn well get with the porn gram girl

I don't know what the problem is I love my job and I want to make sure I'm running a respectful workplace where people understand the boundaries and feel safe sure again, that's why I said we poll them and we make sure everybody's

okay with the porn i uh will i be fired if i don't agree to this definitely okay let's pull about the porn I'm really glad to hear you say that every single office wall to wall covering the ceilings

covering the desks there is not an inch that hasn't been covered up by some kind of porn. And it's all Leah's drawings. I come back into the office. Hey, Leah, can I see you in my office again, please? Sure. I can see by the look on your face and hear by your tone that you

are still holding a grudge and I can't say I blame you and thank you for coming into my office because I know you are the new regional manager and we could have met in your office but I really appreciate you taking the time to meet in mine and I just wanted to say I'm sorry I didn't hear you

come on Leah this is already really hard for me to just say that I didn't hear you sorry yes that's it that's what I am you're sorry yes yes you want to say that one more time for me i'm sorry leah i'm sorry that i fired you for putting up drawings of huge humongous

tatas all around the office and bright big old rumps covering the floors i'm sorry that i got mad at that in the workplace. But you know what? Look, I guess you got what you wanted. Your porn is adorned and adored. And now I am in the office facing the door. So I am not doing well

and now you're the queen of the office. What? Is that what you wanted to hear? Look, you see me as the villain in your story and that's fine and that's fine cause to hundreds of others

I'm their fucking queen you're fucking fired fine fine I don't want to work here anyway You're fucking fired. Fine. Fine. I don't want to work here anyway.

So you quit? No. I'll take that severance. And I'll start my own porn business. No way. You'll never make it in the porn business. And I'll call it... A Mighty Good Time, Inc. Say something.

That's a bad name. I know. Should we take a break? Yes. I need a shower after that one. And we're back. And we're back. And we're back.

And we're back. I'm sorry. And we're back. I'm sorry. And we're back. We're back. We're back. I'm sorry. We're back. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that last one. I feel like every episode now after it ends, you and I are calling and we go, that was the bluest one yet.

I know. It's because you started on the show. All right. This is from the Silly Kids Jokebook. 500 plus hilarious jokes that will make you laugh out loud. on the show. All right, this is from the Silly Kids Jokebook. Okay. 500 plus hilarious jokes that will make you laugh out loud. Parentheses, books for smart kids.

This is from Frama L. Frama Lama. I knew you were going to say that. Frama Lama, five stars. The title is Fun Little Jokebook for Kids. We gave this jokebook

to our grandson for his ninth birthday. He has loved it. He has entertained the entire family and given us all many laughs. And a fun book like this makes kids read. All caps. Finally get the kids to get off their damn phones. Family's having a dinner party. Little kid comes down the stairs. Mom? Dad? It's so loud. I didn't realize you guys were still having a party. Oh, I'm...

I'm sorry, baby doll. We're just... We're just wrapping up. I'm sorry. All the other guests are like, aww. I'm wearing a pink onesie and so cute, rubbing my eye. You guys woke me up with all the fun and I felt like I was missing out. Aw.

So you got a cute one on your hands, you guys. You have like an old timey Ebeneezer Scrooge like nightcap on. You're holding a little candle. Oh, baby doll. You guys let her have fire? She's very responsible. She's a very, very, very, very, very. She's a smart kid.

Walter Escura. She uses knives. Smart kid. Smart kid. Well, I just wanted to say that I love you both so much. Oh. Oh. And I love you guys more than

anything in the world. Oh! What do I gotta do to get my kid to be like that? My kid hates my guts. Waldorf School. You gotta send him to Waldorf School. Yep, Waldorf. Plays in nature. Holds knives. Um, well, since I'm up, can I tell you guys a bit

about a book I've been reading? She's reading. Oh, my God. Waldorf. Waldorf School. I bet it's going to be something like Shakespeare or something. She's so frigging smart. Oh, I bet it's Moby Dick.

It's something that has been, if I can be honest, I've been a little bad. And I've been up reading with a flashlight and in addition to the candle. Now. Oh, sweetie. You know our rule about reading after bed. You have to go to sleep. Oh my god, what I would get for my kids to

read. What I would get for my kids to read a book. Can't get them off their Nintendo Switch. Waldorf School. It's the Waldorf School. Waldorf School. Just even know what a Switch Just didn't even know what a Nintendo Switch is. She lives like an Amish girl. Look at her. We haven't told her about TV yet. Can't believe she has a flashlight, to be honest.

Nobody mentioned TV. Nobody mentioned TV, okay? We still haven't told her. Um, it's something. It's not Shakespeare. It's not Moby Dick. It's the joke book for smart kids. Uh-oh.

And I figured that since everyone was still here, maybe you'd like to hear a joke? I'd like to hear a joke. Oh, Grandpa, I'm so happy. I'm happy to see you carrying on the family tradition. This family tells jokes to each other? No, sorry, we all went to Waldorf

School. Oh, Waldorf School. We teach them about tradition in Waldorf School. What's the joke, little one? I have a few. If everyone would please gather around in the living room. Sure. Okay.

A performance! That's so sweet! People are on sofas, like sitting on the arms of sofas. Staring at their watches like, we've only got this sitter for another 25 minutes. I was really trying to make my exit when that girl came down the stairs. Pads my way over to, like, the fireplace, standing right in front of it.

Lights the fireplace. A little bit of ambiance. Oh, she knows what ambiance is. Reminds me of when I was a boy. Waldorf, Waldorf, we teach her about ambiance and creating setting a mood. Waldorf, Waldorf, is it Waldorf's going to Waldorf? Waldorf, Waldorf, Waldorf, Waldorf. May ambience and creating, setting a mood. Is it Waldorf's going to Waldorf? Waldorf, Waldorf, Waldorf, Waldorf. May I have your attention, please, ladies and germs?

Did she just call us germs? Ladies and germs. I haven't heard that one in a minute. Okay. For my first joke, I will start thusly. For my first joke? Was she a magician now? Waldorf, Waldorf, they teach her a lot of magic my first joke, was she a magician now? Waldorf, Waldorf, they teach you a lot of magic.

Waldorf, they do a lot of magic at Waldorf. A lot of close-up magic. Yeah, they do a lot of close-up, little sleight of hand stuff, street magic. Really impressive, really impressive. She can be a pickpocket if she wanted to, but she's too good for that. She's like a white hat hacker. You know what a white hat hacker is? She's like that, but with magic.

I teach white hacking at Waldorf. They teach white hacking hacker is? She's like that, but with magic. Hacking at Waldorf. They teach white hacker. In addition to knives. In addition to knife skills. Yeah, yeah. Knock, knock. Who's there?

Who's there? Who's there? Or banana. Or banana who? Or banana who? No, it's banana. Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. No, it's Banana Knock Knock. Who's there, though? Banana.

Banana Who. Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange, you glad I didn't say Banana? Orange, you glad I didn't say Banana Who? That's the joke. What? She said it was a joke for smart kids.

This is the dumbest kid joke I ever heard. Wait, wait, wait. I have another. Don't let the haters get you. Don't let the haters get you. Tell another one. Um, why did the disco dancer blow his nose into a handkerchief? Why?

Why? Because he had to put a little boogie in it. A little boogie? Oh, like dancing. That reminds me of when I was a boy. Waldorf, Waldorf, they teach you disco at Waldorf. They do a lot of disco at Wald was a boy. Waldorf, Waldorf. They do a lot of disco at Waldorf. A lot of disco at Waldorf.

They don't do PE. They do Saturday Night Fever. Right? Reenactments. A lot of disco at Waldorf. They do a G-rated version of the reenactment of Saturday Night Fever. Snort a lot of Funda. Funda. I feel like I'm losing the crowd a little bit Maybe just cause

Like big puppy dog is Maybe just cause I'm so nervous Do some crowd work That'll win them back Grandpa there's no crowd work in the joke book Well I don't know just riff Ask people what they do for a living Make jokes about it

You sir In the beret in the front Just riff. Ask people what they do for a living. Make jokes about it. You, sir. In the beret in the front. What can I do for you, little girl? What do you do for work? I am a hypnotist. You know I help people with smoking cessation and I helped a woman stop eating chocolate. She was allergic, but she kept eating it.

Okay, okay. Everyone's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, that's really funny. Okay, why not a grandpa? That's so funny. Maybe you could hypnotize yourself to getting better clothes. Oh! Everyone's like,

uh, you got it, girl. You got it, though. That was funny as hell. Um, um, Dad, Dad? Yeah, baby doll. What do you do for work? Well, you know,

I'm a professor at the university. I teach American literature. Don't you have to be smart to be a professor? The room is silent, and she's like, and everyone bursts out laughing. Holy shit, she fucking dunked on your ass. You look so stupid, Brad.

Dad, Dad, because you're just not smart. No, right. Yeah. Hey, Dad. Oh, me again? I figured we'd do one. I figured we'd do one for each, but okay. Where'd you get that tie? The ugly tie store?

No, it was a gift from your mother, I think, or maybe. More silence. And then they erupted laughter. Oh, my God. You look so fucking dumb in that tie, dude. I take off my, like, Ebenezer Scrooge hat. I start twirling it around like a mic. Let's see.

What else? What else? All right. Yeah, somebody else. Let's get somebody else. Hey, Dad. Are you kidding me? At least your grandpa. Look at him. He looks like he's old. Oh, you, somebody else. Let's get somebody else. Hey, Dad. Are you kidding me?

At least your grandpa. Look at him. He looks like he's old. Oh, you look so old or something. Hey, my dad is so old. No, what? No, I meant for grandpa. How old is he?

How old am I? His first car was the, you know the one from the Flintstones where they have to run with their feet and there's no engine because it's all rocks? That was his car because he's that old. That was a little wordy, but I got what she was going for. Took me a second to work it out, but once I did, I frigging loved it. My dad's prehistoric. Cut to the parents at meeting with the school principal at the Waldorf school.

Hey, thanks for meeting with us. We just wanted to talk about some stuff that we like happened with Babydoll. That is of course her given name.

At home last night we had a dinner party um and she just said some stuff that made me like kind of wonder about some of the stuff that was going on here at school so thank you for meeting us absolutely absolutely you know baby doll is one of our brightest and most gifted students she is a pleasure to have in class and she is friends with everybody and her reading comprehension is through the roof. So you two should be very proud. Thank you. And we are, and we are,

we are, we love, we love her. We wish we could take the credit, but I mean, she is precocious, you know? Yeah.

She gets that from my side of the family. Certainly does. Not mine. But you know, we're not mine uh but you know we're we're you know i'm third generation waldorf school legacy i yes i love the waldorf mentality methodology but i'm so glad to hear that you know when i was in school granted it was the 90s things were a little different crowd work was um well crowd work was like an elective um sorry how old were you sorry i'm so sorry how old are you if you were in waldorf school in the 90s um i guess i'm probably 36 jeez I can't remember my own freaking birthday. Yeah, I'm 36.

Sorry, you looked a little bit older. But that's all right. What? I don't think I look that old. You know what's so funny? Your baby doll. Sure. She told me the funniest joke the other day.

Oh, yeah? She's always doing that. It was about you, actually. And that's why I thought of your age. Oh, really? You know the car from the Flintstones? Like the yeah she said that she said let me guess what she said she said my dad's so old that when he first car he ever had was you remember the one from the flintstones that we had to running on the yeah a little wordy don't you think couldn't

you help her cut down on the wordiness of some of her jokes i think think. Sir, she is only five. So you do have to have a little bit of a gentleness with that. I'm just saying when I was at the Waldorf School, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just saying when I was at the Waldorf School, we did a whole unit on punching down. We did a whole unit about how it's not cool to make fun of people who are already having a hard time. And I think we can all agree I look like a guy who's having a hard time. And I think we can all agree, I look like a guy who's having a hard time. So I just think it's kind of,

it reflects badly on you guys that you would teach a little girl to make fun of someone like me who's so clearly going through it. Mr. Smith, you know, it's been a minute since you've been in waldorf school um and i don't know what baby doll has been telling you but we don't teach any comedy classes here we teach you know them being out in nature and some abcs and knife work knife skills especially but baby doll has taken an interest in comedy

all on her own. I see her reading a joke book for smart kids out in the yard, and she's gotten a little bit of a fan club, I must say. So again, you should be very proud she's doing an interest in comedy, which you know, it takes a lot of time and effort to improve upon.

I'm sorry. Waldorf schools aren't teaching crowd work anymore? I don't think they've taught crowd work at Waldorf since, what,

2001? I want to take... I think I got a homes... I think we got a home... Babe, I think we got a homeschooler. I'm sorry, this is crazy that you're just telling me this now.

This is crazy. I feel insane. I've just told you that Babydoll is... Knock, knock. Mom and Dad are here. Oh, hi, Babydoll. Oh, Babydoll, hello. We were just talking about you.

All good things, I hope. God, she's good. She's so fucking good. Yes, all good things. I was just telling your parents how much we love... Eyes to them. God, she's good. She's so fucking good. Yes, all good things. I was just telling your parents how much we love, eyes to them, how much we love having you in this school and how many friends you've made. I've made so many friends.

And actually, Miss Appletree, I have a new set for you that I'd like to perform at the next talent show. Oh, well, that that's fantastic baby doll. Can I share one of them for you right now? Of course you can, of course you can. Please. My dad is so old.

How old is he? How old is he? You remember when black and white TVs changed to color TVs and like everyone was really excited about it? He, that was when he was 10, so

he was already a bit older than that. And so he really mostly remembers watching things in black and white at his friend's house because his family didn't have a black and white TV. They waited a while because they were still listening to radio shows. Oh, baby doll! Baby doll! That has to be the closer.

You have to leave him with that. That is incredible, baby doll. Thank you. I killed. You did kill. Daddy, you didn't laugh. No, you did kill, baby. You did kill.

Doll. What? You didn't think? Big puppy dog eyes. You didn't think it was funny? No, I'm, you know... I don't know, I... Are you laughing on the inside like your grumpy mug from Disney World?

Yeah, just like my grumpy mug that says... Oh, I swear I'm laughing on the inside. That's me. Always the butt of the joke. You mad at me, daddy? No. I could never be mad at you. I'm mad at myself

for being such an easy target. No! No! No, it's true. If I didn't look so goddamn old. I'm 36 36 I look 79 And I can't help that and it's not your fault For laughing at that That's my fault for looking old

You're right I'm gonna go I'm gonna leave you and mom What? I'm gonna leave you and mom I think you and mom deserve To not have such an old-looking but young at heart

and biologically young. But I love you, Dad! And I love you too, baby doll, but I can tell the most good I can do for your comedy career is to let you keep bullying me and I just can't stick around for that.

So I gotta go. Cut to 20 years later. Baby doll is on her looking old but biologically young tour. Every show she gets up there. Hello. Hello, Springfield, Missouri. Thank you. We love you, baby doll.

Thank you, guys. I love you. Twirling the mic Wow Wow Wow Look at all these Gorgeous Old but young faces

It's me The French guy From the party I still come to the shows Yes God You know Scanning the crowd

Every Every single show My entire life I'm always scanning the crowd Looking for my my entire life. I'm always scanning the crowd looking for my dad. Because as you all know, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have the career that I do without my dad.

God, you know, it's like every time I'm like, maybe it's this time. Maybe he's here. And he just... I see at the back of the theater him standing by the door. He looks cherry-eyed. He's only like

56. He looks like he's falling apart. No way. Everyone turns, looks at him. Oh my god. Wow, guys, this is a really special show. Thank you. Thanks for clapping, Dad.

He reaches out his hand. Somebody puts a mic in it. Oh. My... My daughter... Looks so fucking young. You crowd shocked her. How fucking young does she look? You remember, um, you remember when the first, like, I guess the iPhone came out for the first time?

She was a, like an actual, like baby I guess the iPhone came out for the first time. She was a like an actual baby when that happened. She was so young. They all burst out laughing. They, Reese Crowsworth falls apart and dies.

Oh, my heart. My heart. Oh. I guess he wasn't as biologically young as he thought. Do we have time for one more short one? Fuck it. Why not? Okay.

This is from Anita M. Anita Minestrone. Anita Minestrone. Oh, also this is awesome jokes that every eight-year-old should know. Anita Minestrone, one star. It's very British humor. Only buy this if you understand British humor. I'm British,

and my eight-year-old daughter still can barely understand many of the jokes. It feels like a weird brag somehow. Absolutely. Like, it feels like someone who just got, like, a British citizenship from, like, their great-great-grandfather's heritage to be like, you wouldn't get it. It's kind of a British thing. Oh, no. I'm actually a quarter British, so I'm actually really sorry that you don't understand this.

It's like if you were British, you would get it that it's really funny. I'm sorry that you didn't like my joke book, but that's just because you're American. So I'm sorry that that happened to you. Walking into a British pub. Oh, hello, hello. Hello, gents. Happy to see you today. I'll take a pint for the lady.

Since that's the bar. Excuse me. Excuse me. Pint of what? Oh, just classic British ale, please. Right. The one that we all love. Sure, I'll just pick one then, eh?

I slapped down my British passport. It was, like, issued today. Nice bit of kit. Sorry? So that's a nice bit of kit. Um, yeah, yeah, thank you. I know, right? a nice bit of kit um yeah yeah thank you i know right um i'm i'm jessica and um just another british person in the pub today yeah uh what's your name darryl

darryl i love how we say that i love how we brits say that daryl um daryl uh what what where are you from daryl i'm from here i but wait okay ha yeah sorry i'm from swansea i don't know what you want me to say no i just i guess it was curious because it's like, you know, being a fellow British person, it's just I'd like to know where we're all from. Sure. I'm from Swansea and you're from? Well, I am from Camden by way of San Diego. California. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. But I figured I'd move here to get back in touch with my roots.

Sure. I bet you get a lot of, you know, British people coming in. Just a classic little tavern, little pub. We get a lot of, you're right, we do get a lot of British people coming into the pub that you've just come into. Yes. In Swansea. Yes, yes.

I just feel like such a connection with everybody now that I'm here. Does that make sense? Do you feel that too? Can you read my mind? Can I read your mind? Yeah, try and read my mind if you've got such a connection, I hear. You're saying, Oh, she's

quite fit. Oh, she's quite fit. Spot on. Wow. You are talented. That is eerie how good you are at reading minds. Wow. Thank you.

Cut back to like a friend's house in San Diego. I'm showing them. I recorded the whole conversation playing it at a friend's place. Guys, I found my people. I found my people. Did you like ask him if you could record? Sorry? Did you like ask before you started recording?

Tyler, it's 2023. Not everyone. It's like everything's online all the time. Why are you mad? Well, the angle is like really fucked up. It looks like you're like taking it from like in your bag. Like you're trying to hide that you're recording him. I'm not trying to hide it

it's just it's like I was I was being a bit sneaky you know back me up here it literally looked like he did not want to be filmed at all yeah I think that's um Jessica I think that's a crime I'm not exactly sure how but I think it is no you guys just

don't understand it's like such a classic bit of a bit of cheeky British humor that you guys just wouldn't understand I really I don't I seriously don't think it is. No, you guys just don't understand. It's like such a classic bit of cheeky British humor that you guys just wouldn't understand. I really, I don't, I seriously don't think it's cheeky. I seriously don't think it's cheeky. Okay, well, you don't think it's cheeky because what?

You're what? You're from Minnesota? Yeah. And you moved here? So yeah, so you're not British, so you don't get it. Us Brits, like, we understand that that's kind of a bit of cheeky humor.

No, I'm not British, but I have, like, I can understand, like, basic body language. That man was reallyy. No, I'm not British, but I have like, I can understand like basic body language. That man was really uncomfortable. No, you guys don't get it. Like, I can totally see from an American point of view why you'd be like, oh, that's weird. You shouldn't do that. But I promise you, as a citizen of the UK, everyone does that.

It is so normal there. I cannot even begin to describe it. I'm sorry. I can't take this anymore. I cannot take this anymore. That passport looks so fake, dude. What part of it looks fake? I'm sorry.

Literally nobody here believes that that's a real British passport. First of all, it's like twice the size of an American passport. And that can't be right. I'm sorry. That's the British way. No, there's no way. Whoever sold that to you was absolutely lying to you, dude. You guys just don't get it.

You guys just don't get it. It's like they say everything's bigger in Texas. Everything's bigger in Swansea, which is where I was, which is why my passport is double the size. Why were you even in Swansea what were you there for I was there to see my people to interact with the people of my

land can I be honest fuck yeah why not I feel like you guys are just jealous and it's okay I understand that it's like because you guys are so American and so now to have a British friend it's like i can get what you understand you know you guys are a couple of anglophiles that you showed on your phone was the cringiest thing i have ever seen if i if i seriously steph back me up here steph back me up here if i ever am jealous

of that shoot me in the back of the head because that is i'll do it i'll shoot in the back of the head thank you steph because that is bizarre that you did that with your fake ass passport went to swansea of all places and i'm not even british but i don't know why you would that doesn't sound like a place you would go to for any reason you wouldn't go there if you're a tourist that's exactly right. You're a tourist. Oh, my God. No, I'm a British person.

And it's okay for you to be jealous. It's okay. You have a bit of green. You're turning green with envy, love. You're turning green with envy, pet. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We came over two and a half hours ago, and we haven't even started playing D&D yet.

Our entire apartment it's like union jacks everywhere like there's a she has like a red telephone box in her of the middle of the apartment like steph back me up here like yeah it's rare that all of us can get together and like do a session and like yeah i feel like you've spent this entire time that we were supposed to be playing poor steph worked for hours yeah coming up with this chapter of the campaign yeah and you've spent what the last two and a half hours ranting about your fake passport and showing us a clearly illegally taken video uh can i say something really quick um yeah um i was actually born in surrey and so um i show my british passport i guess it's like i've never felt the need to tell you guys

because it didn't seem like anything that was that important you see that is the size that a passport is supposed to be. Clearly, this is the fake. I mean, if you were really born in Surrey, then why don't you have an accent? Like how I'm, like, you know, I was raised in America. Well, I was raised in America, but I was born in Surrey. Oh, well, then why is your passport so tiny? Because it's a legal British passport. I'm a dual citizen of the US and England.

Breaks down sobbing. Oh, no. Now I feel like an asshole. No, don't feel like an asshole. It's just like... It's so beautiful to meet a fellow countryman. Oh, for fuck's sake. Can I read mine just for fun? Just because I love it.

Yeah, do it. It's again from the best joke book ever. Five stars. Elizabeth J. Elizabeth. Joke book. Title is A Fun Gift That Keeps Giving. Purchase this joke book for a quiet guy at work.

Now we get, quote unquote, curated jokes several times a week. The jokes are funny and we broke the ice. What an inappropriate gift. It's so funny. Hey, Stan. It's nice to have you in the office. Headphones can't hear you. Stan.

Hey, Stan. Stan, I said it's nice to have you. You talking to me? Yes. Oh, hi. Hey, man. I was just saying it's really nice to have you in the office. You've been a really cool member of the team. It's really great to have you in the office. You've been a really cool member of the team.

We really, it's really great to have you here. Thanks. We got you a little something. Headphones back on. No, sorry, Stan. Hey, Stan. Hey, sorry. Waving his hands in front of your monitor.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, Stan. Yeah, so I was just saying, we actually, we had like a little whip around and we got you something. Oh. We got you like a welcome to around and we got you something. Oh. We got you like a welcome to the office gift. You didn't have to do that. No, I know, but it's like, it felt like something. Oh, thank you.

That's really nice. Yeah. Do you want to, can I give it to you now? Sure. Cool. Reaches into his bag. Pulls out a book 512 jokes to get your shy boy to be a fly boy right right well yes and it was the quote on the back like the testimonial that really made me think that's the one for my man stan

which which one because there's a lot of testimonials on here uh it's the one for my man Stan. Which one? Because there's a lot of testimonials on here. It's the one that says, I got this for a guy at work who made people really uncomfortable because he never talked. And at least I've had one conversation now. And I thought, I know who I should get this book for my man stan oh um do you love it uh yeah it's great um i do i make you uncomfortable what no

what would make you say that well the review you pointed out to me is i bought it for a guy at work who makes everyone uncomfortable i just he never talks sure okay i put my headphones back on working again Hey, Stan. Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy. Buddy. Stan. Hello, Stanley. Yes. Hey.

Figured maybe after lunch you could give us a read. Of a joke from the book? Yeah, a joke or two might lighten the mood around here. Yeah, I mean, I guess it's like we write obituaries so i guess the mood is never like super super light but um no for sure i guess everyone in the office is like so annoyed with this guy hey rick be quiet we're working sorry sorry cut to lunch hey guys guys hey everybody guys everyone has their headphones on guys hey guys shut the fuck up rick you're so funny is that from the book i got you turns out he's about everyone in the office him and a dozen other people he's given every single other person who's just trying to do

their job a copy of this fucking book no guys no everybody hey no hey guys everybody take your headphones off what stan yes can you get everyone to take their headphones off they don't listen to me but i think i message is slack a very polite polite like hey guys it seems like Rick is going through a really tough time. I know we're all deeply entrenched in work but it seems like he's going to have a mental break

if we don't take off our headphones right now. Guys. Everyone takes off their headphones. Hey guys. Who wants to go first? Do we all have to read a joke? I thought it would be fun

if everybody picked a joke they liked. Stan you can go first i know is popping off i fucking hate this guy quote i know but he's the boss's son so he can never be fired guys what did my dad say about having slack channels that not everybody's in he said it wasn't right another slack has he even ever written an obituary? Another slack. I don't think he knows the concept of death. Guys, who wants to tell a joke? Stan, you can go first.

Someone messages Stan, tell one joke so we can end this and go back to work. I can't wait to hear this one. Guys, I think we're all going to be pretty excited to hear what Stan's joke is going to be. I know I am. Okay. Alright, sorry. There's so many. There's 500 and what, 12? 17?

A lot of jokes. Some of these are pretty crude, actually. Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't actually read them. I just looked at the blurb on the back and it made me think of you guys. Right, the one about make you uncomfortable. Right.

Okay. Here's a joke. Here we go. Interrupting cow. Or knock, knock. Sorry. Knock, knock. Who could be there?

Interrupting cow. Interrupting moo. knock knock sorry knock knock who could be there interrupting cow interrupting the guy did you like that one everyone puts their headphones on all right oh my god oh my god no seriously that was so that was so good you don't even have a computer in your cubicle. It's just a bunch of porn tacked up to the walls with your cubicle. You know, guys, I'm really glad that we all got to share those jokes earlier. No one can hear him. Yeah, headphones on. Yeah, no, I mean, I know that i'm like super positive around the office and stuff but actually sometimes i feel like my dad put me here to say get rid of me um and i know you guys think

like i don't know what an obituary is or like i don't even know about death um like firsthand so um i i've written a lot of obituaries and let me say not all of them were pretty so cut cut to an old man reading an op-ed in his home about his dead mary mary mary farnsworth lived 89 beautiful years in springfield county minnesota before before her ugly old ass husband sneezed too hard, farted too dang noisy, gave the poor bitty a heart attack. What? I never sneezed so loud and farted and I gave my dang wife no heart attack. I'm calling the editor. The coroner's report comes in. It seems that

her husband sneezed too hard and farted too hard that it gave her a heart attack and that was the cause of her passing. I swear, those are coming more and more common. I don't know what. It's an epidemic or something. Oh, Jesus. Well, coroner's office

taped up with porn. By the way, i love what you've done with the place thank you i use i actually used i used to work at an office that did this all the time oh no way it yep really helps me it helps you focus yes it helps me focus that's exactly right i don't look anywhere else except my computer to uncover funny should we do our last segment let's do it anywhere else except my computer. Do you want to come? Yeah. Funny. Should we do our last segment? Let's do it. This should drive me all the way to hell.

I've tweeted about this before, but it shook me. It's shaking me because I pounded one right before recording. Yellow Gatorade. Guys, Yellow Gatorade will cure what ails you. It is my lifeblood now. The way that people have like a thing about Diet Coke. I love me some Diet Coke, but my God.

Headache? Gatorade. Yellow Gatorade. Anxiety? Yellow Gatorade. Upset tummy? Yellow Gatorade. Feel a little tired? Yellow Gatorade. Parents getting divorced? Yellow Gatorade. It is, to me, what Windex is in the My Big Fat Greek Wedding universe. It is a cure-all. And what Riley's not revealing here is that when she says yellow gatorade uh she usually takes a thing of yellow gatorade pours half of it out and then pours half a bottle of gin in it no no um yellow gatorade shakes me i don't do that nobody said that i don't do that i think yellow gatorade is the third best gatorade and that's not to say i don't like it that's not

to say i don't like it it is elite it is say I don't like it. It is elite. It is the top Gatorade. And if you think anything else, you're kidding yourself. I'm sorry. It goes red. No. Blue. No. What are you, a 12-year-old boy? Leah, I let you talk. I let you talk. It goes red. Blue. No, it doesn't. Yellow.

No. Everything else. The weird white one that looks like cum it goes red blue yellow no it doesn't no it doesn't weird one that looks like cum it's yellow white one that looks like cum you're blue crazy for that you are crazy you are crazy to have weird red stained post-soccer practice lips on the red one. The red one tastes like cough syrup. No, no, no. Here it is. Sorry.

I lied. I lied. Yellow, orange, white one that looks like cum. No! Blue, and then all the way at the bottom is red. I will give you that you don't like the red one, but what's shaking me is that you're suggesting that the white one that looks like cum is in any universe, like, even drinkable, let alone good. No, it's so good.

It sucks. It sucks. Dude, you suck. I can't believe the red one's your top. The red one's good. I'm sorry. No, it's not. It makes you feel like a sticky little snotty boy.

I'm young at heart. What can I say? What's been shaking your ass? What's been shaking your ass what's been shaking my ass um i know i'm late to the party on this i know everybody else especially by the time this comes out in may 2029 but i think the last of us is awesome uh i think that the last of us is awesome. Uh, I think that the last of us TV show is great.

It's scratching the same itch that the game scratched. It's super fun. It's super grim. It's the saddest story that they decided to make into a show. Um, I loved station 11. And so I guess that's my rec is if you like the last of us if you like the last of us you will like station 11 and nobody watched it i felt like um i've heard

the book is wonderful the book i obviously don't know how to read so i did not look at the book um or the anything uh but the show is awesome. So that shook me and you know what? I just remembered. I got a You look like a clicker. You look like one of the What do you mean I look like a clicker? Oh, from The Last of Us. I look like a frigging zombie whose

head been split open. A frigging crap zombie. Holy freaking crap. I wish the clickers were back. Holy freaking crap, Lois. The clickers are back. Holy freaking crap. I didn't mean to summon him. Brian, I got a quick question for you. No. Do you think that the Fireflies are going to meet tonight?

Oh, my God. We got to start a revolution, Brian. I'm serious. Are you done? Eh, maybe. Let's go down to the drunken clam and you can find alfred on instagram at alfred in it you can find the show on instagram at review review you can find the show on reddit r slash review review and the review review head gum discord and you can find riley on twitter

i can't i can't keep it you can find riley on instagram.. Just the web browser, not the app. At Riley and Spa. And on Twitter.com for as long as it lasts. At Riley Coyote. And just like we say every week. Just like we say every freaking week. Stay along with us because you know what it is. Porn.

Bye. As we say every week porn bye bye that was a Hiddem original