Review Revue - Karaoke Machines

Episode Date: September 20, 2022

This week on Review Revue, size matters, Geoff and Reilly have another bad Christmas, and get kicked out of a Karaoke bar while reading reviews on Karaoke Machines!    Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjames Twitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardee <><> Produced by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fm  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. And participating restaurants for a limited time. This is a HeadGum Original. I am hanging in the bathroom

At the biggest party of the fall I could stay right here or disappear And nobody'd even notice at all. I'm a creeper in the bathroom cause blondes always have more fun. So instead of agonizing while I fail at socializing I'll just pretend that I have the runs everything feels chime when I hear my favorite pair though only through online it feels like they're really there there cause I am listening to podcasts, listening to podcasts at a party

and I'm feeling calm cause listening to podcasts at a party HeadGum is the bomb I should have stayed at home instead the only thing I need are the hosts and special guests, Valencia and Rasheed. My friends are Antwo, Carver, Riley, Larry, and Smiley.

You know that he's not bragging. Jeffrey has a wagon. I don't need no beer pong. The only friends I need are on the podcast called Review Review. On the podcast. On the podcast. I'm gonna party with me on the Zoom.

Monthly Zarty for Review Review. We've never had a plug for the Zarty in a theme song. Gun Ho Quok. Michael in the bathroom. Is that like a show tune? It's from a musical called Be More Chill, which I've never seen and only listened to half of the recording because I'm not crazy about it.

That was beautiful. That was beautiful. only listened to half of the recording because i'm not crazy about it um that was that was beautiful that was beautiful um god the landing too really stuck the landing really amazing um i love that the only two guests we've ever had are daniel and elizabeth um it's we love having a mom but also which is like we haven't had a guest in a while daniel get in here yeah what do you do you have like an hour um it was beautiful jeff have you ever listened to a podcast at a party no interesting have you no um yeah if you were gonna listen to a podcast at a party, what podcast would you listen to? I've been really into this watch podcast

called Theo and Harris recently. And that's the show that every week that comes out, I'm like, oh, well, no, no, everybody shut up. I have to go listen to this right now. But I also would never do that. But if it was going to gonna be it would be that one last night I listened to that podcast in front of someone who did not want to hear it

and I was just like this is what I'm gonna listen to so that's fine that's so fucking funny yeah but they eventually got into it what about you? I've been really binging

Sounds Like a um which is really really great i mean it's just fascinating um there was a really good one on disney adults um there was and i'm currently listening to cult of the bachelor i'm just going through the whole backlog it's really funny but you guys here's the thing you aren't listening to either of those podcasts right now are you are you you little fuck. You aren't listening to either of those podcasts right now, are you? Are you, you little fuckers? You're not listening to that. You're listening to Jeff chew ice, and you're listening to me verbally assault you. So, little fucks.

You're listening to Review Review. Jeff, what's new other than the ice chewing? Congrats on F1 being greenlit and the pants tailoring. Yeah, that's exciting. Congrats on F1 being greenlit and the pants tailoring Check out the pit wall if you're a casual fan of Formula 1 or just a casual Okay, so I've never watched F1 but I think I'm pretty casual

like, should I listen? You're perfect I've never watched it in my life and I actually have no interest in probably watching it Would it be for me? Okay. But I'm casual. Yeah, I misspoke.

I misspoke. You're going to hate it. A lot of names you won't know. A lot of terms you won't know. But I don't know. Maybe, you know, I don't think it should be anyone's first foray into Formula One, but maybe, I don't know maybe you know i don't think it should be anyone's first foray into formula one but maybe i don't know it might be just the thing might be just the thing um but you got pants tailored to fit that waggy

so the dumper is uh less frumper in uh all of my that was really good chinos and uh and that's what you asked for they're like so what do you how how much do you want to take it in or up yeah i just my dumpy is too frumpy in this sorry sense sorry we're both so sorry for that uh so i got like six pairs i might have already mentioned this and if i did i'm sorry if if i nothing's new so yeah no you haven't mentioned it I remember you getting pants but I don't I don't remember I thought it was my what shook me two weeks ago actually but maybe not maybe not uh what's new with you what's new with me um I guess it's just I don't know. Different vibes lately. No, I started acupuncture. That's great.

I went to an acupuncturist for the first time. Was this on, you know what? I can't remember. No, because we haven't recorded since I've started it. Since you started getting stabbed. Since I started getting stabbed. My acupuncturist is amazing um it's and he's also i mean it's like it's like acupuncture plus custom chinese herbs uh which is it's incredible he's amazing he literally you on my first i have

my second appointment ever with him today but my first one which was a week ago he you know like i was telling him what was going on because i'm going there for the thyroid stuff and um he was just like feeling around and he's korean and so english is second language and he's maybe like in his 60s and so it's like the communication between both of us is like very intentional and um so i was like explaining what was going on just kind of looking for more balance and he like asked to see my tongue and i showed him and then he just like immediately nodded as if he's like oh i know everything i need to fucking know about you and he just looked he goes you think too much and i'm like oh yeah he's like you got too much going on and i'm like you're right and he's like you have a lot of dreams and i'm like i do i dream really consistently like every

night like really intentionally he's like that's not good and so he was like putting needles in and is it not i guess he's like it just with with as much like anxiety as i've going on and i have really um overactive blood flow apparently so he's just like we need to calm your whole system down and i'm like interesting and so he put the points in and then he put one in my forehead of the top of my head and as he put the four one he goes stop thinking I'm like I'm trying I promise I'm trying um so and then he goes like you get anxious usually I'm like dude you are reading me like a fucking book um anyway action monster is amazing that's great yeah that's really good for thyroid shit I've heard it is it is and and I's great. Yeah, that's really good for thyroid shit. I've heard. It is. It is.

And I feel like I'm in good hands. Yeah. You got to get Jake to go to that thing. That thing. Yeah. I still can't remember if he has the same thing you have or the opposite. Right. Because they're both bad.

And I think acupuncture just brings you back to the middle. Yes. I'm really excited about it i'm excited to just like see where it goes but he's he's so kind and he's so wonderful and i feel very safe um but fuck that what sorry that's not what i meant i meant fuck what we're talking about still holy shit okay i guess that's not right. It doesn't matter. Nothing we're saying matters compared to what we're talking

about today because why say it when we could sing it? Why say it when we could sing it? We're talking karaoke machines! Karaoke machines. We've done karaoke bars. This is different. This is karaoke machines. We've done karaoke bars. This is different.

This is karaoke machines. You can make a karaoke bar in your own home. Ever heard of it? Which I also think has so much more room for error. Say more. Just like, at least if the vibe is bad at karaoke, you're out. You know, if you have friends over and someone fucks it up, sings a bad song or sings a good song poorly,

and not in a fun way, you can't go anywhere. You can't leave. It can't be like, oh, I gotta go home and feed the dog. The dog's already been fed. The dog's on your lap. Already home. Already home. So what do you do then?

If it's like vibes are off karaoke machine, you're like, Oh, is this thing on? I just think I'd never get one or rent one or use one. Here's my thing. Different karaoke songs. If you're out or you're at home,

I think if I'm out, it's I write sins, not tragedies. Very good. If I'm in, it's, I'm sorry, but New York, New York. If I'm in.

What about you? My karaoke songs or just karaoke machine experience? Both. I remember getting a karaoke machine when I was maybe like 10 or 11. I forget exactly what age because it was high school musical was the big thing. Like the first one had just come out. let me tell you i was obsessed let me tell you that the only songs i was playing on that karaoke machine was the entire cd of high school musical and my like when i turned however old i was when that was big um my birthday party like theme was high school

musical and it was a karaoke party so truly all i was doing for the better part of a couple months was just high school musical musical on karaoke um but i don't like karaoke i don't like doing i mean i like doing it with a group of friends i don't know it's not my first choice for a night out um and the idea of doing it at home sounds even worse to me. Yeah, it's, I think, this sounds so stupid. I think it's just like sometimes when I think about, when I think about the idea of karaoke,

I'm like, so we're all just singing and that's fine. So I guess. There is that, I mean, we've talked, i think we talked about this on the last episode but like you can't sing to the best of your ability because that's not fun but also if you're not trying a little bit it's also not yeah so i feel like there's this weird like you have to be right down the middle about it is that it's like what's ideal are you trying to actually like sound good or is it just for fun? Because I like, I think like a talk song, like I write since not tragedies, like that's

a perfect karaoke song because it's like, I don't need to try and sing. It's like, you're just talking and then screaming a little bit. But also if you can put on the pop punk emo affectation, it's everyone gets into it because it's a little tongue in cheek. And then, you know, screaming out like, oh, the pork room's fried was, huh? And then the whole room says whore. Yeah. No, that's very good.

But it's like for someone who's putting on like Celine Dion or like Mariah or something like that. It's like, are you? Because then it's like if someone knows that they're not a good singer, then that's the bit. Then it's like, I'm going to put on these amazing singers and try and do it. Yeah. So I guess it's just like. But you're a good singer. And then if you then it's like i'm gonna put on these amazing singers and try and do it yeah so i guess it's just like you're a good singer and then if you sing well you're an asshole well because it's like i remember being in high school or like you know all my friends who i grew up like doing musical theater with and so it's like when we'd all sing together

there was always a little bit like a nightmare there was always a little air of like well who's gonna sound the best like who's actually trying to sound the best but like no one's saying it but it's like oh that was really like you'd be trying it's like i think it's like karaoke brings up an anxiety in me because it's like well i want to try and sound good but then it's like that's not the point of karaoke but then if if you sound bad that's the thing i can never it begs the question what is the point of karaoke what don't say fun don't say to have fun no because that's not the point because i could be in my car playing music with my friends and we're all singing that to me is more fun than karaoke yeah i agree so i agree i love like my family my my mom got a a karaoke a karaoke mic

recently for her for a birthday. Yeah. And it was just my family at her birthday party just passing her. It was just like, it wasn't the full setup. It was just the microphone that had the Bluetooth coming out of it. And so it was just like the five of us sitting there passing it around. Like, so I'm just like, what are we doing? It's like a talking stick. Yes.

But it was a singing stick outside. And so I just didn't, I don't know the point of it and i know you're gonna come for us and be like it's fun and it's not for me it's and i know you're gonna say it's fun it it ain't it ain't like it just ain't it ain't um I agree. I agree wholeheartedly. But should we get into this? Should we explore this thoroughly? I guess we should. I mean, it's like, again, there's going to be a bunch of reviews being like, it's so fun. I'm having so much fun.

And I'll be like, you're not. But it's fine. Yeah. Do you want to kick us off? Sure. I mean, again, what's the point? What's the point of this podcast? Is this even fun?

You're embracing nihilism because of your hypothyroidism. How long have you been sitting on that? It's not even really a rhyme. Okay, here we go. First review. This is for the Mookie Subwoofer Portable Bluetooth Microphone Karaoke Machine. Five stars. From...

Oh, my God. Did I accidentally cut out their name? karaoke machine. Five stars. From. Oh my god. Did I accidentally cut out their name? Hold on. I can give them a first and last. Just give them first and last because I accidentally fully cut their name out when I did the screenshot. Zany Malik. Zany Malik. Okay, Zany Malik. Five stars.

The title is Showstopper. Amazing hit at our family holiday barbecue. It was so great. The adults got upset at the kids because we were having more fun with it. Are you mad? Christmas morning. All right. Now it's time for the kids' presents.

All right. You know, Peter, do you want to go first? Oh, yeah. I'd love to go. Dad, I'm so shaking the box. Oh, my God. I really hope it is what I think it is. Yeah, open it.

No way! Oh my god, these are the G.I. Joes that I've wanted forever! Well, don't be that excited. Steven, you gifted him the G.I. Joes. Why? You wanted him to be excited. I'm so excited! I know!

Just chill. Because it's making me feel like maybe I wasn't as excited. Dad, I'm so excited. I know. Just chill. Because it's making me feel like maybe I wasn't as excited as I thought I was about the robe your mother gave me. Steven, you said that you've been eyeing that robe for months. So you seemed very excited. I've been ogling it and I really wanted it. It was exactly what I wanted. Great gift. Great gift.

I didn't react like that. So now I'm second guessing myself. But he's a child. He's eight years old and he got a toy.'re 45 and you got a robe yeah well all right it's fine it's fine just all right am i in trouble because i'm excited about open the next one kiddo open the next one just be oh there's a kinder way open the next one we're merry christmas honey this is yes santa came on time this year no way this one's from santa There's a kinder way. Open the next one. Merry Christmas, honey. Merry Christmas. Yes. Santa came on time this year. No way. This one's from Santa?

Oh, my God. Kinetic sand. Oh, my God. I've always wanted this. Oh, my God. Santa read your list. Oh, I'm looking at the robe again. Oh, I've always wanted this.

Was this from Santa or you, sweetie? Steven, I gave you that robe before the kids woke up. Because Christmas morning, we're going to make it about them. So remember, I gave that to you two hours ago in our room. I know, but I'm like, I didn't react as happy as that. So if I react now, maybe I'll be joyer. Hey, Peter, why don't you go? I think there's maybe some more hot cocoa in the kitchen.

Okay, I'll go get it. Steven, what is going on? I don't care. You are happy enough with the robe. You had a very appropriate reaction to a gift that you've been wanting to get as an adult. I'm scared of growing up. You're 45. I know.

And to see the kids, they really do have children's Christmas joy. They are children. I know, but I want to be a kid at heart. You are a kid. Here's the thing. I wish I knew where this was coming from because this feels very sudden, very out of the blue. Oh, wow. Honey, I'm looking at the watch you gave me for my birthday

this year uh-huh i'm feeling utter joy it's you know what can i give you some feedback honey because i love you and remembering counseling we were talking about just like bringing up problems as they arise we don't feel resentment has it out for me but yeah nope um i it actually is more offensive to me and more uncomfortable if you pretend to be joyful because when i gave you that watch you i'm doing it for me the gifts are for me the joy is for me and i feel like i didn't really let myself feel it then and now and so i'm trying to make up for it oh okay where i'm i'm so sorry i didn't mean like i'm back with hot cocoa and daddy i i actually have a beautiful baby boy i'm so happy peter's looking around me yes look at him oh honey he has your eyes. Yes.

I think you're really... You don't need to work backwards. I think this feeling, you can move it. You can bring it into the rest of your life. I don't think you need to retroactively go back to the joyful moments in your life. Okay. Is it my birthday? No, honey.

It's Christmas. Daddy's a little confused. Points at his degree at the wall. Holy fuck! Steven! I went to Yale? Yes! I got into Yale!

That's where we met. Oh! Steven, I don't think this is going to help you. I think you think it is, but I don't think it's going to help you. Can we just focus on Christmas? Come on, the kids have been so excited for weeks. Looks at his front facing camera on his phone. My teeth are so straight. God, those braces were worth it. All right, Peter. How about you just take the rest of the presents and you can go open them. You can go open them in the other room and I'll be in in

a second. Okay, but I really wanted to. Daddy just seems like he's in a good mood, and I had a present that I made for him at school. Oh, well, that's so... Isn't that great, Steven? You can experience this new moment of Peter giving you a very special present? The dad kind of, like, stands up and, like, walks like a baby, walking.

Steven, what are you doing? I can walk! Steven, sit down. My first steps were amazing and I can still do it. I know you can. Celebrate. I'm trying, you are taking the joy away from your son right now, who is trying to give you a gift. You being this weird man baby is not helping

be present to your child he has a christmas present for you that he made does daddy not want my gift no he does he and he's gonna be just as excited about it as he was with remembering walking which i don't even think you remember when you learn to walk but anyway give him your gift honey it's gonna be amazing now let's see it okay um I made it for you and arts and crafts class and and I did it for Christmas so here you go Oh Wow spaghetti on paper Steven. This sucks. Steven, do you not like it? No, he loves it.

He loves it, honey. Tell him how much you love it. Don't lose your joy. Don't become like me. Don't lose your joy. Keep the joy. Find the joy. Have the joy. Then you be joyful.

You were excited about being the... Oh, I can walk. Be excited. I'm trying to force excitement, but what is this? I'm sorry, but like I can it's somehow easier for me By the way to fake remember walking getting excited about it then to look at this Construction paper with rigatoni attached to it. This isn't anything. This is an art. This isn't good It was a portrait of you made out of pasta

That really hurts my feelings alright, and my experience is valid in all of this It was a portrait of you made out of pasta. That really hurts my feelings, all right? And my experience is valid in all of this. You think this is what I look like? He's eight. That's old to be doing spaghetti art. It's not spaghetti, it's rigatoni. See, if he knows the difference between the two pastas, he shouldn't be using it for art.

Also, he still talks like he's four. That's fucked up. Cut to Peter's family Christmas 40 years from now. All right, and okay, I am ready to open my presents. As you all know, dear family, I have had a not a great track record of Christmases. So hopefully this one's going to change the game. His wife puts her hand on his forearm. Sweetie, it's okay. Oh, I remember our first kiss.

Wow, that was something. Don't do this again. Kid comes in. Daddy? Yes, honey. I have a present. Don't tell me you made me anything. I don't want to see it.

All I'm going to do is disappoint you. All I'm going to do is disappoint you. And then you're not going to want to make me anything for the rest of your life, right? Remember how Daddy gave up art? Remember how daddy made a rigatoni man when he was eight? And then grandpa didn't like it very much. He said it was nothing. He said it wasn't art and that it was bad and offensive to him.

Yeah. Remember how I said that that's why I'm only going to involve myself in STEM and not in the humanities at all? Because if you just are dealing with science and math and numbers and there's no way you can get hurt. Sweetie, sweetie, sweetie. That's why we were able to afford this house, honey, because daddy's an engineer. It's not even affecting our son anymore because you make this speech like once a month. I'm just saying it's like look at how we can afford these things because I don't involve myself in art.

I don't involve myself in literature or any kind of thing like that. I work at NASA. I'm an engineer and that's how we can afford the life we do because no one gets hurt emotionally. Physically, sure, you're in art. I don't involve myself in literature or any kind of thing like that. I work at NASA. I'm an engineer and that's how we can afford the life we do because no one gets hurt emotionally. Physically, sure, you're in space, but no one gets hurt. I remember when I was a baby. No! You can't just say that shit

and then go back into remembering yourself in diapers. Alright, should we take a quick break? Yeah. No! No! uh all right should we take a quick break yeah no no and we're back uh this is four star review okay from reina uh or sorry five star review uh of the massingo 2022 new bluetooth karaoke machine uh do you want to have a last name no why don't you give her one reina shine reina shine re or shine. Five stars. For its size, it works great.

I love everything about it. It doesn't disappoint. We're not talking about the karaoke machine. We're not talking about the karaoke machine. Sweetie, if you have a comment you'd like to make about my body, why don't you fucking say it to my face? I don't use the karaoke machine as some kind of stand-in for my dick. No, God. I don't know what you're talking about. Also, we're at a karaoke bar.

Could you just keep it down a minute? I don't think everyone wants to hear it. I think it's average. And I think I'm good at it. I am not at all talking about any part of your body. I love you. I love your body. I'm just saying.

I'm actually, I'm not even saying anything bad. I'm saying for this karaoke machine's size, it's smaller than what I've seen before. You know, I've been to some karaoke bars in my time. And I've seen some that are, like, huge. Like, you wouldn't believe. It's like, whoa, why does it even need to be that big? Yeah, but like I feel like those karaoke machines like hurt probably even. Because then they can't, that karaoke machine can't like operate fast.

You know. You actually, well, now that you think about it, you'd think that. But there are some that have just been like, whoa, like a monster of a karaoke machine. And you think like this is going to be slow. It's going to be painful to listen to. But the quality was crazy. Like just the vibrations from the speaker. Yeah, but I feel like, no, but, you know, it's like

then the rest of the karaoke bar is not interesting. Because it doesn't have to be. But they're interested. Everyone's interested in that giant machine. Because it's like, whoa, what's... What are they doing over there? What if I tried that karaoke machine? And then, you know, you have to let other people have a turn.

But it's not important. The big karaoke machines aren't important right now. We're in this room. And it's a really awesome compact machine. Not compact. I feel like it's a good sign. It's when you think of a karaoke machine, you picture this. I'm sorry. I guess I meant just compact, like comparatively.

Can we just sing? Honey, I mean, you stopped your own song. You were doing such a great rendition of I Write Sins, Not Tragedies. I don't care about that anymore. What's fucked up? I don't care about that anymore. What's fucked up is that now what I'm gonna

have to do is buy an experimental pill. What? Nothing. Let's just, yeah, you're up. An experiment? Okay. Listen, I, yeah, you're up. An exp- okay, um, listen. I'm just trying to have a fun night with you. We haven't been out in forever and I feel like this was, I don't know what happened. We were having so much fun with the singing and okay, what, what, I guess I'll just, I'll

sing. Okay, how was that? Yeah, please just sing. Hopefully the song has nothing to do with what we were just talking about and we can move on. Anaconda starts playing. Yeah. Oh.

Whoa. Oh, sorry. Paul, I might need to start it over. It's just the size of machine, I feel like I can't really hear as well this song. It doesn't make that much sense, actually, now that I think about it, coming out of this machine. I might need to. What do you mean? Hmm?

What do you mean? Oh, I just, it's just that the speakers on this machine, I feel like it's like I want more bass. Like, I really want, like, more bass for this big song. I feel like I need a big machine to really get me there. Yeah, but it's like I'm saying you can have the same song, you know, from that machine. It can be, you know, you can hear what it's singing. Yeah. And, you know, maybe that could get you there because you're hearing stuff.

Oh, no, no, no. Absolutely. That's the thing. This machine works, right? No, I don't. That's the thing. This machine works, right? No, I don't. It's playing a song and I can hear it and you can sing the song, but it's like the speakers on the other one.

That's what I'm saying is that it's like, whoa, it's a different experience. It's like when you get the full bass and just like that fucking, you feel it in your guts, in your bones. Like it's really deep in there and this one it's like oh you hear it oh that's that that's the song that's anaconda but the other one's like oh that's a anaconda you know what i mean like that is a anaconda i am gonna kill myself

honey come on i love you just let's just sing I don't know why you're getting this worked up about a dick karaoke machine so it is about cock I don't want you to love me for me I want you to love me for these does it make any sense if not yes fine

just I yeah knock on the door um so i think this is the oh oh i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i didn't realize this room was already wow you guys got the biggest karaoke machine in this bar see some people right oh you think this one's big you haven't did you try have you tried the bar on on third and main what do you mean no that one's like that one's that machine is huge her partner well i mean i don't know if we need to try that one uh you know this one seems uh this one seems pretty big so uh i think that's gonna be um well no i mean like if there's a bigger one out there. Oh, there's a bigger one out. You know, but don't get greedy, right? You know, it's like, you know, it's. So this is fucked up.

Can barely contain. No, it's fucked up. I don't know about that. This sucks. This really sucks. This sucks. barely contained is it no it's fucked up this sucks this sucks oh my god fuck I knew that that was what that scene was gonna be that was incredible

that was incredible alright do you want to do our last review I do I do this one's for singing machine sml a bunch of letters and numbers bluetooth karaoke imagine if like someone who was like a karaoke machine aficionado was just listening out there being like oh i know that model yeah yeah yeah you know that there's no way oh the singing machine i'd love no, that's a really good one. Yeah, what's like the audiophile of karaoke machines? Yeah.

This is five stars from Doc B. Doc Barton. Doc Barton, five stars. The title is easy to take with you. Take it to a quote unquote sing-along party, especially for children having a birthday, with lots of songs for all caps, them to sing on karaoke CDs.

People filing to a party? Hey man, yeah, thanks for having me. Quick question, just because I got a karaoke machine in my car. Is this a sing-along party or just regular? Well, it is my girlfriend's birthday party. So it is a sing-along party. Um, I mean I guess, you know, there'll be music playing

if people want to sing along. Great, alright, I'll go get the karaoke machine. Uh, karaoke, I don't know if that's Cut to in the party. Um, alright. And I cut to in the party um alright I will always love you pointing at his girl

you will always love you thank you I'm sorry we're just trying to have a conversation over here and so it's just like it's just so loud if you could turn it down a little bit we're really just we're just trying to have a conversation over here and so i'm it's just like it's just so loud if you could turn it down a little bit we're really just like i'm trying to hear anthony got a promotion and so i would turn it down it's just like when you play when you sing

karaoke when the music's lower it's just like kind of awkward you gotta have it blasting then maybe we take a break from the karaoke and just kind of like let everyone catch up for a bit like when's the last time we all got together like this right everyone's like yeah yeah that's true that's true we haven't i feel like we haven't gotten together like this for like two three months but we haven't done karaoke in like a year so i feel like you know should see it should be seeded to like what we haven't done more recently? You know what? If you really want to do karaoke, I guess you could do it maybe in the backyard or in the garage.

Just so it's like we can do all of it then. So it's like people who want to mingle can mingle. And then if anyone here wants to do karaoke, we can set up like a separate room that isn't just kind of like the main room. Does that make sense? I get it. Great.

Y'all are jealous that I own a karaoke machine and you got... Yeah, what even is in these gifts, huh? Let me see if it opens one of the gifts. Oh my god. Wow, this is... Oh, this is a pretty expensive vase. Okay, thanks for spoiling that. Who was that from? Whoever that was from.

That's beautiful. Thank you. Oh, it was from me. Thank you, Anthony. You got that promotion money? Yeah, it was from the promotion money. Oh, that's really... Sorry I didn't get to open it.

Yeah, but, you know, a vase you don't really get to use. A karaoke machine you get to use. She buys flowers all the time. She's always talking about how she doesn't have enough vases. You know what, Anthony? He kind of gestures with the vase in one hand. Oh! This is unbelievable.

Go. No, that wouldn't have happened. No. that wouldn't have happened if you just let me sing fine okay fine anthony i'm so sorry i will reimburse you no don't worry about it my promotion i'm getting paid so much money that's great you know what listen man sing fine we will all watch you hey hey samantha turn off the ambient music let's all watch this who the fuck even are you anyway who invited you i'm your boyfriend's work uh inferior i guess you're nathan's work in fear yeah i i don't he just seemed pretty lonely and he was talking non-stop about this karaoke machine that he got.

And so, just fine. Then sing. Then sing for everybody. If you want to be heard singing and you haven't done karaoke in a year, I guess, sing. He's in the middle of a circle. Everyone's just standing around and just shaking their heads. I'm still going to do it. It's just this is really intimidating because I don't really know anyone except your boyfriend.

Oh, well, isn't this what you wanted? You wanted everyone to be listening to you? No, I wanted everyone to be taking part. We are taking part. Isn't that the point of karaoke is that everyone's watching you sing can i are you a good singer song can you sing no we'll sing we'll choose a song for you we'll choose a song for you no start playing okay wow this is what a choice um amazing grace he starts crying. Looking around, really scared.

How sweet the sound. I'm scared. That's not the lyrics. It shows you the lyrics on the screen. The wretch like me. Boo! Come on, man. I once was lost.

You suck! I know, but now am found. Wrap it up. That saved the... Those aren't the lyrics! I can't read fast. It takes me like two years to finish a novella. You've made your point.

Great. So you can either stay and put the character machine away, or you can go home and take it with you. I'm gonna go home, but would you at least open my gift? You got me a gift? Yeah. Okay, that was very nice of you. Thank you. Opens it. It's lingerie. Get the fuck out of my house. What the hell is wrong with you, man?

I thought you would like this. I don't... You don't know her. What an inappropriate gift to give to my girlfriend. Well, I know you, though. And I was like, what's a gift that would be for her, but also kind of for him? Nah, that's for me to decide at the end of the day. That's not for you to decide what's a gift for both of us. That's like a sexy thing she'll wear that I'll get to look at.

That's up to me. That's not up to you. I know. I can recognize. That's up to me. That's not up to you. I know. I can recognize that that was weird as shit, but I, I'm sorry. Can I just ask, what was your thought process? Like why this one? Like why this little bright orange lacy number? I've not even seen orange lingerie.

What was your thought process? Exactly. I was like, oh, she probably won't have this. And how would you know? You don't know her. You seem like a sexy guy. You know, maybe. I was like, oh, she probably won't have this. You seem like a sexy guy. I seem like a sexy guy? Maybe you got her lingerie a lot or something. I don't even know how long you guys have been dating, but you probably have a

green set. You probably have a red set. You probably have a black set. You probably have a blue set. So I was like, pink is tacky, a little gauche. Orange, man. Do you think about me and my girlfriend fucking? I have. I didn't before I bought it, and then I thought about it a little bit just to know that I would get the right garter. Get the fuck out of here.

Where should I go? Home. I don't give a fuck where you go all right I got it I'll go to like a diner anybody care to everyone hates the shit out of me cut to that night huh would it be just stupid if I tried it on i mean like it's awful right like yeah no i mean it's like just put it on as a joke put it on as a joke i love it uh i'm gonna i'm yeah now i want to get daniel lingerie for his birthday uh all right should we do our last segment for me to see him in

i don't know and your card to him is just like you seem like a sexy guy i also love that it's like it's not like oh you're hot you're a sexy guy well you seem you seem like a sexy guy you seem like a sexy guy i don't know but you seem you seem you seem sexy like in terms of how i look no it's not bad exactly i haven't i didn't think about it through that lens more just like you seem like you have sex you seem like you you are sexy like you are you surround yourself with sex weird thing to say weird thing to think man get out of my house i think uh true to our last segment yes i'm trying to be quiet on that one because what i'm realizing in this new apartment is that um

last time we recorded daniel was like you could hear you on the first floor and we're on the I'm trying to be quiet on that one because what I'm realizing in this new apartment is that, um, last time we recorded, Daniel was like, you could hear you on the first floor and we're on the second floor. Um, so I'm just trying to figure out the acoustics in here, you know, just trying to like be respectful, but also like not feel like I have to hold myself back. That's not what's shaking me. Just, uh, that's what that was. Anyway, what's been shaking you? Um, what has been shaking me? I'm'm gonna try and come up with it fast uh um oh you know what this is not that interesting so my drink of choice for the past year has been a boulevardier which is a bourbon negroni

um i'm a whiskey guy i usually was was whiskey straight, but then I was like, what if I do want a cocktail? What if I want something bright that's red? It looks interesting with a garnish. George introduced me to the Boulevardier. Last night, I was like, maybe I'll just, for the sake of

novelty, give a Negroni, a classic Negroni another shot. Did it. Love it. But every time I've ever been drunk off gin, something insane

has happened. And I don't, I know that that's also not that interesting. But, like, the weirdest nights I've ever had have been on gin. One time I pulled a towel rack off the wall. Not out of anger, just out of, like, I was drunk enough to, like, throw a towel onto the rack and, like, kind of lassoed it off the wall by accident. And some other stuff that I won't get into.

But last night I had two Negronis. I was at a nine i like it was 10 30 p.m and i'm suddenly like i have so much to do tomorrow i am performing for most of the day i need to drink eight glasses of water before i go to sleep and i need to have a second dinner. Off of two Negronis? Yes. I don't think I've ever seen you that drunk. You have, but like five years ago. Not a long time.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't get that drunk that often anymore. But anyway, so what's shaking me is that I do like normal Negronis and so I can stop being like a pretentious asshole being like, can I get a Boulevardier? Which just sounds awful to order.

I can be like, can I get a Negroni? And you know, people know what that is. You can drink whatever you want to drink. It doesn't matter how it sounds. If you want a Boulevardier, just order a Boulevardier. But be chill about it. I do, but I think saying the word boulevardier, especially when they are like, what is that?

It makes me feel like shit. What if you just did it like, what if you did it like, like you're ordering it, but you're just like, hey man, I'm one of you. I'm just like, can I have a boulevardier? That's what I do do and that doesn't help and they're like what stupid

i'll do a negroni forget what i said i'll just normal negroni um but yeah how strong they are how hard it hit me last night and uh and then I just online shopped didn't buy anything but browsed for an hour online shopped yes I was looking at bracelets I love that I love you home alone just having two Negronis and like getting fucking wild I was that I was home alone

oh hey oh hey um what's been shaking you okay so we're back i think it's maybe it's been a while i can't keep track um since we've had a what celebrity does riley want it's been like three weeks okay so i feel like it's enough time for me to come back and be like, absolutely not. For me, that's a long time for me.

That's a long time. Yeah. So Daniel and I started severance. So good. If I know we're a little late, I think everyone was really talking about like a couple of months ago. But we're, we have only watched three episodes.

We're loving it. It's so good. This is a plug and play riley anspa what shook me all week long because it's you watching a show like a year after everyone else did and then having the same celebrity crush everyone had but a year later go on is it adam scott because if it is i'm gonna be pissed it's adam Scott. He's really okay. All right, let's hear why. I don't want to do it anymore. I love it's a plug and play Riley Hasbaugh. We could release a Mad Libs. I think people should change their Patreon name to what show Riley got too late and what basic crush that everyone else has she has.

I'm fucking crying. Okay. I literally... I want to hear your reason. I know. I'm going to tell you. I'm just saying. Fuck. In the first episode... So, last week we watched

episodes one and two. Last night we watched episode three. But in the first episode, maybe it wasn watched episodes one and two last night we watched episode three but in the first episode it was like the first 10 minutes i look over at daniel i'm like adam scott in severance could get it he's like what that's also so rude to say to him when you get mad at him for the same stuff no i don't get mad at him for the same stuff i get mad at him when it happens in my dreams. Yes, that's also not fair. If he's watching something and he's like, oh my god, she's gorgeous, I'll be like, yeah, she is. That feels more hurtful than it being cheated on in a dream.

It's because also Daniel's in on the bit of just any show I'll be like, hmm. And so I'm like, Adam Scott could get it. And normally he'll try and kind of see where I'm coming from. With Adam Scott, it took him a minute. He's like,'s watching he just goes why though and i'm like do you see it and he's like um i he has a concave face he's like uh it wouldn't be my my choice but um he's like i get it for you i get why you would say that um it's truly it's like you know what it is if you haven't seen if you have i don't know if you've

seen severance or if anyone's listening has seen it not probably because um i'm really late to the hype but um when adam scott is in the workplace, his workplace self, not his like Audi self, but workplace Adam Scott, there's that confidence. He's a manager and he's

managing. He could manage me. I don't know. I haven't seen it. Here, hold on hold on i'm gonna i'm gonna pull it up hold on that's nothing that's just a guy no you don't fucking get it man i don't really marika i hope you listen to this episode because I need you to come to my aid on this one. You have to.

No way. When this comes out, I'm going to direct her to this part of the episode because I need her to back me up on this. I think it's minute 47 or something. Yeah. Holy shit. Oh, my God. That's so funny.

God. Well, I really, y'all, if you want to make your patreon names i would i would i would absolutely fucking love that i would love to see what shows i'm just late to and who i would fuck uh and before we get to the patreon names for this week you can follow riley anspa on twitter at riley coyote on instagram at rileypa. And the show on Instagram at Review Review on Reddit r slash Review Review. You can find Jeffrey on Instagram at Jeffrey James and on Twitter at literally it's Jeff Boyardee. But before then, let's thank some patrons, some VI patrons, some VI podcasts. Absolutely.

Thank you to underscore christian side hugs so he can hug two people simultaneously a funny patreon named bit for the next already would be about how cool and strong connor finnegan is agent michael scarn a coal cut you a fucking deal fall to your trembling needs and demand her mercy and in return she will hand you a peppercorn. Austin's been feeling like he's a cute little boy now that he's been dieting and he loves his beautiful wife, so chill out, actually. Buell. I just go by one name now, like Madonna or The Rock.

Cam has roid rage, but it's hemorrhoids. Chahuck. Dakota stole fizzy lifting drinks, so you get nothing. You lose. Dr. Kerbelcher, MD. Fancy Octopus is, according to Echo, submissive and readable. Jeff and Riley. That's right.

We subscribed to our own Patreon, and no, that's not weird. Jeff tried to roast Damien Kirk at the last Zardy for not being a virgin, but he was wrong. The tuck won't return my DMs. Or the tooch. Stanley Tucci, maybe? Oh, the tooch. Fuck me. Guilt Johnick has never once heard a woman say that they want it that way. Tell me why. Oh, I say that

they want it that way. Tell me why. Grey is and has always been the real Jeffrey James. Absolutely not, by the way. Hey Jeff, it's James. Can you do me a quick favor and say, of course I'm the real Jeffrey James. Why would I catfish you? Thanks Hugh Janus oh I eat spaghetti and heat balls it's like spaghetti and meatballs but instead of noodles I eat the sun I Jeffily and Spam say with sound mind and body that I think Brendan Lee Mulligan has a thick shock like a cock but it makes you it's fucking

terrible imagine a small mouse in a field it is nib makes you... It's fucking terrible. Imagine a small mouse in a field. It is nibbling on a dewberry and watching the sky for hawks. After a moment, there is a rustle. Jake Ullman. Jay is actually in the U.S. for a bit now, and this whole time zone thing might work out this week. Jesse Tipton.

Joe, and for lack of a better term, well, Malasov. JP again. Y'all know you did a A head gum sketch with kinetic sand The way it went The way it went ignored Feels like a slap in the ass to us day ones I actually did not remember that

Was it the ASMR Oh yeah Jewel Embid Caleb is too busy to come to the phone right now Please leave a message after the beep Beep Casper Vobasper

Lord Hunter the Ordained. Lucas Heinzel. Michael Begel. Money, money, money. I'm flushed with cash from these Patreon simps. We're, sorry, we're famous and we're more important than you. My name has been the same for

months. It's time for a change. Nah. Happy birthday, Jeff. You can vote Jeff for 20% off your Baldo purchase. Nate Portis has a birthday soon and can cry if he wants Nah. Happy birthday, Jeff. You can go Jeff for 20% off your Baldo purchase. Nate Portis has a birthday soon and can cry if he wants to. Happy birthday, Nate, new patron. No, you're not. You've been a patron for two years. Nolan Murphy is bread.

Nolan Murphy. Nolan. Wherefore art thou, Nolan? Hopefully at the bottom of a lake wearing cement shoes. Oh, hi, Mark. Well, priest. Oh, so it's lame to advertise your business through your Patreon name Come sit to my face at smoke and time on main island

Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater Puff Riley Raven Schmaven Scene is Jeff getting ankles waxed Smooth Pete and his new jazz band The Corbin Bowl Players TJ Michael And Tom Vergnon

So it's Tom Vergnon Tom Verginon So it's Tom Vergnon. So it's Tom Ver- Oh my god. Sorry. Tom Verginon. So it's Tom Bergeron, but he's never been in another, nor has another been in him. That's so funny to me. Thank you guys for subscribing at the Heist here. Patreon.com forward slash Riley and Jeff if you want to be at the Zardi which is this Friday I think oh

my god yes that's right Friday the 23rd yeah so we'll have to come up with a theme on the Q&A maybe and we'll see you guys again next week thanks for listening to this episode that was a hit gum original