Review Revue - Kinetic Sand

Episode Date: September 13, 2022

This week on Review Revue, Geoff and Reilly exercise their 2nd amendment rights and mix flavors, all while reading reviews on KINETIC SAND.  Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjames Twitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardee <><> Produced by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fm  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. And participating restaurants for a limited time. This is a HeadGum Original. Jeffrey James

A devil of head gun fame Who's lacking a sense of shame Or at least has none left Riley and Spa She's leaving me shocked and awed An angel, cause oh my god How does she put up with Jeff? I am so impressed

In heaven and hell we're two people on a podcast crew Personified as people you know who would be who Good versus evil Wholesome love and gross taboo They battle every Tuesday through and through Versus evil, wholesome love and gross taboo. They battle every Tuesday through and through.

To see it, tune in to Review Review. I loved it. Very good. The shins. I loved it. It's not the shins. It's Death Cab for cutity. Oh my God. That came in from Gun Ho ho quok it was beautiful and i'm honestly gung ho for quok it was it was i love that little falsetto i remember i have such

a visceral memory of of walking through my middle school listening to that song yeah headphones and being like oh my god this is love like they finally know they finally know this is like oh my god i'll follow you into someone someone's gonna follow me into the fucking dark i'll tell you that i'll tell you that much and then the dark is just like middle school drama yeah the dark is just kind of like, is the wings of my middle school theater experience, where you might think about sharing a kiss. And then do you? No, because I'm on stage. Because then I'm ultimately-

No, that's not why. It's my- Because you have so much time backstage. No, it's because I'm obviously the lead, and so I'm in every scene. And are you the lead? I don't have time to be in the wings smooching i need to be on stage smooching but fake right that's uh right and this is what this is what the this is actually an episode record i this is an intervention we've got

elizabeth's about to join the zoom um you need to have a kiss but okay no because now it's affecting like the people around you no no i've kissed it's like i've been in plays and musicals where i've kissed that's acting that's not kissing really yeah it's like choreography but my mouth touched on others right but like when you slow dance with someone you know and it's choreographed for a production you're not actually sharing a moment with each other i don't know i guess agree to disagree have you ever been in love i have been cast in things where i am like just say no if that's the answer just for me in the same way that harry styles is

discovering what acting is on this don't worry darling door i'm also discovering that acting isn't real uh yeah yours the second one's worse the second one is definitely more detrimental i think the difference is like music is personal and acting you're pretending to be someone else exactly harry styles that's one of my favorite things he's ever said that is true though it no that's the only smart thing he said he's not wrong i just love it's what what's what hi oh you mean him defining it him defining it in that it's guys i i know normally at the top of the show we're like what's new with you what's new with

you what's doing i can't stop thinking about the Don't Worry Darling press tour. It is fully consuming every waking thought. And obviously, we all know that my favorite part about the movie is that it feels like a movie. It's the kind of movie you go to the cinema, you sit down for its reason, you go to the movies kind of movie. Are you okay? That's incredible. But it's the fact that he was in Dunkirk. He's done press junkets before.

Yeah. For some reason, he is short-circuiting on this one. And it's really wild. Well, John George, we shot sketches yesterday. And John George was like, yeah, because he had two lines in Dunkirk. Right. But also, he's been media trained. Elizabeth made a good point. He's been One Direction, solo stuff.

He's been media trained for a long time. Yeah. I don't know. I just, incredible. My favorite part about the movie is that it feels like a movie. That's how I want to describe everything in my life. My favorite, I guess my favorite thing about this podcast is that it feels like a podcast. What do you mean?

It's the kind of podcast that you open up the podcast app for. It's like you're listening to a podcast. That's every podcast. Right. That's your favorite thing about it? My favorite thing about podcasts is that they are what they are. Right. What do you think about the phrase, it what it is that is link right that's it it is what it is and it is that's your family crest

it is what it is please design if you're a graphic designer even if you're not if you just do a shoddily drawn coat of arms with the with the quote it is what it is for the anspa family crest please just english i like old english text it is what it is. Please, I would lose my mind. Jeff, what's new with you? I'm saving it for my What Shook Me. Okay. Well, what have you done today? It's 1 p.m. on a Wednesday.

I woke up and got reviews for this show. Love that. Love that. I've been watching Yellow Jackets. I've been meaning to start that we're finishing um sex education for my like third rewatch daniel's first time but that's on the list how is it are you liking it it's so good i've heard nothing but great things you have to watch it what's new with you um other than my entire tiktok timeline being don't worry darling stuff.

Just unpacking in a heat wave. It is, this is the first episode recording from the new apartment. Yeah. We're in. And I love it so much. Our neighbors, everyone so far we've met in this building has been amazing. One of our neighbors dropped off a pie last night. She and her boyfriend made like a chocolate pudding pie,

homemade graham cracker crust. It's unbelievable. Yes. It's incredible. It's incredible. Everyone's just been so welcoming and this building's great. It's an old building and we're in a heat wave. So like the amount of surges,

power surges that we have is just kind of non-stop yeah last night our bedside lamps were on and they were flickering just so and so long that my eyes were starting to hurt of course but other than that it's great it's just it's we're in a sea of boxes the the office living room and bedroom are all like livable. Like there's boxes everywhere, but we know where things are. We can get around. The kitchen is, it gives me anxiety. Yeah. So that's kind of the project of the week.

Organizing when the size of your space is different is tough. I'm still figuring that out. Different size space and also just like in a heat wave. It's just been so demoralizing. Because we have so much to do and move in the space. And I just don't want to get off the couch. It's just so fucking hot. And we have window units.

I've also been claustrophobic and shit. Just kind of generally. Or look at the boxes. with the heat i feel like everything is impossible and i want everyone to like not get too close to me because i feel like i'm gonna have a panic attack we went to the movies last night which was amazing but of course as we were going there like we went to the movies last night, which was amazing. Just because the AC. We walked into the theater and we're like, oh, oh.

Oh, normally I bring like a sweatshirt to the theater. I'm rocking out and like my crop top and linen pants just fully living my best life. I'm like, I don't care what movie they put on.

I'm happy to sit here forever. And then we walk outside afterwards and i was upset um we saw bodies bodies bodies rachel senate is a star she's fucking great yeah um but again we're not here to talk about bodies bodies bodies um we're not here to talk about the heat even though this heat wave has been fucking ding. This is going to be like a 10 day heat wave or something. But climate change does not exist. Because it still smells places. Kinetic sand. That exists and climate change is fake.

Yes. Kinetic sand. So as Jeff and I want to do, we were texting back and forth about what things to talk about i also love that like 11 30 an hour and a half before we're set to record we're like what should we do so texting back and forth sending ideas jeff says i'm just gonna read these texts right now jeff suggested like he was sending different things he goes kinetic sand was one of them i said i love kinetic sand like playing with it he goes lol i said it's so good he goes right that's what i was worried about and then he suggests something else he suggested refrigerators

i said no i mean let's do kinetic sand because of my experience i fucking love kinetic sand i knew you would how i knew you would because you love shit like that say more speak on that like things that you can like play with so i love toys you love I love kinetic sand. You love anything that adults can use to feel like a kid. I think that's true. Yeah. I think that's true. Never lose your childlike state, baby. Elizabeth did a video on her YouTube channel about a year ago where we did different like ASMR things.

So it's like we crushed floral foam. We played with kinetic sand. We did all these different kinds of things. And that was my first time playing with kinetic sand yeah and i get it like i fully it's amazing you don't know unless you've touched it do you know like you're like yeah yeah have you ever played with kinetic sand yes i've played with kinetic sand okay so you do know yes you're getting aggressive you're getting tell me about it what did you think about it i uh i think it's fine yeah it's like a stress ball

no you don't get it right i knew that if i didn't give you like a 10 out of 10 reaction you'd be like no you don't because it's not like a stress ball it is kind of like a stress ball it's it has the same effect you're like doing something kinetic um but maybe i haven't had the right kinetic sand because from my reviews it's you gotta get the right one you gotta get the right one it's when you're just letting it fall through your hand the way it drips down almost which sand shouldn't do sand shouldn't drip right i mean like what are we saying what are we doing here but what are we saying what do you mean like and the sand just drips down it almost has like this goopy consistency that is just divine and you're

just letting it run through your fingies and give it a little squeeze a little squish here and there and that'll do me fine that'll do me sand uh do you want to start us off i would love nothing more than to start us off um as i'm pulling it up one thing i noticed uh about kinetic sand at least on amazon is that so i didn't realize they're packaging it in in a way that like i've seen play-doh packaged of like different you can get different kinds of packets like you can get different colors smells stuff like that but you can also get like one i have is like for an ice cream shop kind of kinetic sand or different things it's the new play-doh i guess um and also it's gendered a lot of gendered sand a lot of the reviews be like there's like one that's like a

construction site and it's like this is a great boy gift i'm like okay here we go okay this is for kinetic sand scents ice cream treats play set with three colors of all-natural scented play sand and six serving tools. Sensory toys for kids ages three and up. And you have a pink sand that smells like strawberry, apparently. Ew. White sand vanilla. Brown sand chocolate. I just want to say right off the bat, I don't know if I've said this on the pod before, but I hate artificial chocolate smell.

I think it's one of my least favorite smells ever. I remember being little and like, maybe I was like in like 11 or 12 and I asked for like this chocolate scented body wash or something. And I was like begging for it. I finally got it. And I'm, and I tried it out.

I'm like, that smells like shit. Okay, here we go. Three stars from ADR. You get to pick the name for automatic dialogue replacement here we go automatic dialogue replacement the title is definitely not parent or toddler friendly just throw your cash in the trash instead and it came with a bunch of photos i've bought the regular kinetic sand for a while now because i loved how it wasn't a huge mess.

This was the first colored set we tried and it's definitely a huge gross mess. It crumbles and sticks to everything and after 10 minutes of play, we lost most of the sand and it had hair all over it. You can see a hairy cone from one of my pics. A tiny bit of the white got into the pink, and once the colors touch, there's no going back.

I didn't even bother with getting out brown because I could only imagine how gross that would look all mixed together. The topping pieces are a huge choking hazard with any child that likes to put stuff in their mouth, and it's the first thing my kid did. The stuff sticks to your hand, doesn't come off easy at all. The set should be more for

teens or adults and i can see it being fun hence any stars at all but even then it wouldn't last long trying to keep the colors separated this is definitely not toddler or parent friendly a waste of money because you won't get much play out of it if you're looking for a younger child sand set and stick to the regular brown sand sets. They're the same brand as this one. All of the photos of like the multiple color sand kits make it look like you can, like it's fun.

It's like they're making rainbows. They're doing all these things, but it's like, that's a one and done. As soon as you put that together, they're grains of sand. You're not going to be separating that shit. I also like the idea of it being for teens and adults.

Hi, can I get one scoop of vanilla and one scoop of mint chocolate chip? Yes, absolutely. Do you want that regular cone kids cone uh just a cup would be great or a bowl all right here we go and there's a cup no no no don't let them touch oh my god i i was were they supposed to be separate orders? No, they're just not... Sorry. Forget it. No, I want to help you. I just want to understand.

You wanted a scoop of vanilla and a scoop of mint chocolate chip. Once they touch, it's all over. I am so sorry. I can get you separate cups. I can give you one cup of vanilla one cup of mint chip i don't want i don't want them to be separate either just like keep them keep the scoops separate in the same fucking bowl please excuse me sir this is a family establishment don't have family that's funny how is that funny family's also supposed to stay together but have

you know be in the same cup but instead of two different cups to spend christmas with one of them oh um well i'm actually a child of divorced parents as well so i no you don't get it okay i think i do but um i'm just gonna get you a new order i'm gonna put the the ice cream in separate containers and then um because if i put them both in the same cup it's ice cream they're gonna melt and they're going to melt into each other uh it's a good flavor combination vanilla and chocolate chip it's actually nice if it's what i thought too my dad says that when you lose your sense of individuality the relationship's dead and so i feel like i don't want to lose my sense of ice cream in a bowl if they touch become one

and then they can't really separate unless they're in different cups different houses um this is 575 we do have a line forming. Um, I'm sorry that your parents are going through a divorce. They're not going through it. They already did it. They already did it. Yeah. Okay.

Hey, get your ice cream and go. It's a hot day. We've got a long way. I know. I know. I'm sorry. Um, sir, I would ask if you could please just pay and step to the side because if we're it's a hot day and a lot of people want ice cream oh i'm sorry i'm sorry that i'm getting my sadness all over this ice cream i'm sorry you should be sorry about that man we're all sure we all just want to get a scoop

all right it's not your fucking therapy session. Please, if I could just calm down with the language. What? Show me your fingers. Show you my fingers? Yes, see there, you have a wedding ring. So you don't get it. I'm not divorced. No. I got married two years ago and she's the light of my life. Exactly. Flavors are still separate.

You feel like your own person. Sorry, I just... I really need... need no what do you mean by that no we can keep the line moving no so what do you wait hold on actually this guy's got a good point let me get this straight so you're saying that like we shouldn't just be codependent in each other like we shouldn't fully blend like we could stay in the same relationship but be two separate stay in the cups two separate flavors that's great i you know what we are at our busiest time of day right now so i would it would be really really helpful if you guys could pay and then take this conversation outside we have a wonderful seating area outside that you two could sorry am i am I hearing you correctly?

Because I've always felt like, oh, my God, this is from, like, way far back in the line. Oh, my God. No, let's hear her out. I've always felt that, like, if I'm fully independent in my relationship, then that leaves no room for me or my partner to lean on each other for anything. You're still having the same flavors. You can have them both in one bite whenever you feel like it, but you don't have to like mix them up.

You don't have to mix them up, but I am, I'm going to be mixing, mixing some flavors. All right. Who else wants ice cream? We really need to keep this moving because I want it to. So, sir, could you please step to the side?

I will give you this ice cream for free. Can I just stay at the counter? Your head has been in your hand, like on the counter sometimes. Can I just stay here? I cannot order or whatever, but I just need to be here. We have plenty of tables inside if you want to stay in the air conditioning. I don't want the tables. I want to stand here

just they can get their ice cream stand there what difference does it make yes it's it's like honestly it's loitering like i hate to say it but it's loitering oh my god oh my god are you really gonna get on him for that for loitering or you see come on that's really not cool it's a hot look at him he's crying he's crying he's crying now you are getting your sadness all over the ice cream remember how you apologize for that now you are what what can i do to get you to move free ice cream. Fine. Ding-a-ling-ding-ding.

Two free ice creams, then. Sam? Sam, finally. Lisa, come here. We found him. Sam, we have something we've been meaning to tell you. Oh, my God. What is going on?

Save it, Dad. You don't know what I'm... Honey, you don't know what we're going to say. No, you're going to... I don't care what you have to say't honey you don't know what we're gonna say you know you're gonna i don't care what you have to say you guys have ruined love for me that's like the biggest thing for eight years but you you parent trapped us and it worked we decided that we want to get back together and make it work okay great wonderful let's get this family reunion and take it outside why the hell not because it's all gonna happen over and over again you guys don't have any

boundaries i'm 24 i whatever i gotta go to work cut to him at the conference room alright guys um you know some big news wanted to call the whole team um we uh got an offer uh

to be acquired by uh official and we're going to begin a merger that's huge oh my god boss congrats

congratulations that's a Sam what keep them separate Huge. Oh my god. Boss, congratulations. No. Sam, what? Keep them separate. This is huge. We're all gonna get a major payday out of this. No. We're gonna merge and then it's gonna be too much. The companies

aren't gonna know where one stops and one ends. That's the point of a merger. And then it's all gonna go under. And then we're all gonna be unemployed you guys wanna be unemployed that's what's gonna happen i've seen it with marriage i sorry sir i don't mean to speak out of line but like i feel like sam comparing this incredible acquisition and merger that's gonna give us all a giant payday to his parents' marriage feels like really unprofessional.

Why does it feel unprofessional to you? You think emotions aren't involved? Is that the difference? Well, I really thought you were going to be on my side. No, it doesn't. I don't think emotionality is unprofessional. I just feel like his parents' divorce has nothing to do with the sex position. If you don't think that emotion is a part of business, you're naive.

I never said that. I never said that. I'm sorry for laughing. I just think this conversation is ridiculous. My wife and I sleep in separate beds, and it's to further our intimacy. I'm sorry to hear that. No, it's good. Okay, then that's i'm

happy for you i don't this has nothing to do with anything let's all right well now here's what's gonna happen oh mergers over you're exactly right tyler whatever your name is but and guess who's who me you peter why because i'm setting a boundary i don't want to have to make that call is this a promotion no we're not gonna get the merger so you guys are all getting pay cuts but at least you're gonna have a steady employment tyler thank you so much it's fine so you're still unhappy either way i just it's sad too because it's like okay that could have been a good union but it just knows i know that it was doomed and you know you know you don't know you don't know did you even read the report the the numbers look incredible the report the report that they sent of the projected numbers. I even checked my email today.

Oh, my God. I was getting ice cream, dude. It took three hours? Yeah, it actually did because I started talking to a bunch of people in line. Also, my parents are getting back together. So then why are you still sad it's just been exhausting today

fine if we want to talk about the let's put it to a vote we're the only two people left in the room yes exactly but my vote carries a little bit more than yours I think because I have the power of youth. That's nothing. All those in favor of the merger.

I'm raising my hand high. All right. All those opposed. Me. And I ed you out because I'm young. I fucking quit. I'm going to go work for the company that was going to buy us. Are they going to offer you a job?

I hope so. Grass is always greener mentality never gets anyone anywhere other than divorce. Not everything is about divorce. I've shaped my entire worldview based on divorce. Right. I've shaped my entire worldview. Yes, because I was 16 when my parents got divorced that's pretty young not that young comparatively really yes this is your entire personality

no i'm trying to figure it out because love doesn't exist in me. Your entire worldview is about divorce. Your entire personality. We can't talk about anything that you don't tie back to your parents' divorce. I don't book connecting flights. I don't book connecting flights because I don't believe, frankly, that there's any connection. I don't know what will make you happy. Hmm. It's interesting to think about hmm

hmm what what's going on up there no I'm just trying to figure out like what's perfectly separate yet still together magnets got it Still together. Magnets. Got it.

Magnets make you happy. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. We should buy a magnet company. Let's take a quick break and we'll get back with my review. Tiny. break and we'll get back with my review. Tiny! And we're back! This is a three star review of Kinetic Sand

by Kinetic Sand from Vanya E. Vanya Ethernet. Vanya Ethernet. Vanya Ethernet. Three stars. The title is Not Sure What This Is. I know technically

this is sand, but it doesn't act like sand. Maybe it's good for certain situations. I guess it never dries out, but I'm not sure why that's important. If you're a professional

sand carver, or whatever they're called, sorry, then this might be awesome. I got it for my grandson and he wanted to add water to it because sand. Let's just say it was a mess. I know sand is messy, but this was a different kind of messy. Probably good for certain situations. Right.

So thank you so much, everyone everyone for coming to this focus group so i think i should have been more clear about the kind of feedback that we're looking for um with this kinetic sand that we're launching obviously it's not you're not going to get this kind of sand from the beach right everybody this isn't the kind of stuff that you find why is that funny what why is that funny oh i just i just thought we were having a laugh it's like you know that kind of sand doesn't work in the way that kinetic sand does no we don't know what this is and frankly we're scared you said it was sand i i it is it's kinetic sand but it's not the sand you get from the beach so what is it it's um i'm just leading the focus group it's it's kinetic sand so it's kind of like a sensory toy um stress relief fun uh it's sand it doesn't

dry out um so anyway i'm gonna pass some around and just to help us with some marketing i would love to get your thoughts of the feel of it less kind of questions and more experiences if that makes sense i don't even know what it is how am i supposed to give you a pull quote i don't know i'm holding and i'm holding it right we are confused we're scared doesn't make much sense, does it? Okay, confused and scared. I guess that's, I mean, I guess those notes could be helpful. Obviously, I don't think the higher-ups want this sand confusing or scaring anybody. You want children to use this stuff?

That's the ideal demographic, yes, in terms of marketing. Listen, lady, I used to be in the witness protection program all right i've seen a lot of stuff right this is the scariest thing i've ever seen now i i would love to know more about the fear factor of this said because at least when when i've touched it you know i'm touching it now oh the feel of the sensation is quite nice uh it's it you know, it's squishy. It feels good in the hand. You're lying to yourself, love. Sorry? You're lying to yourself, love.

I'm lying to myself? No, that's just my own experience. This stuff is honestly bad. Can I pry a little bit more about just the bad nature and the scary nature of it? The answer's in the title. Kinetic sand? Sand shouldn't move.

Sand shouldn't move. So why is this drooping all over my fingers? I would actually argue that all sand does is move. It is moved by erosion and waves and wind. It is moved. It's moved by something else. Right. It doesn't move on's moved by something else. Right. It doesn't move on its own.

And neither does this. How would we know? Because it's on the table. If you just look at it right now. How do we know you didn't train the sand to not move on command? This is a product. It is not a living creature.

It is not a plant, or human being you really should have made that clearer i don't know how much clearer it could have been i guess i can think about um i mean i guess when you think of sand if i'm just saying sand like beach sand would you consider that to be a living thing because i don't think anyone would right so what are you talking about right right and then love You're insulting our intelligence. I don't think I am because you collectively all thought that I would be training the sand to not move just based on the fact that it's kinetic. Listen, you want a poor quote. Here goes. I don't think anyone younger than an adult or teen should be using this.

Okay, that's not... I mean, anyone can use it. We have ages, you know, 3 to 99. Definitely not 3. Definitely not 3. This should be 17 and up. 17. That's like the rating of an R-rated or NC-17 rated film,

which I definitely don't think this is. Would you give a child a puppy dog? Say, take care of this? No, I would not. Because that is a living animal that you need to take care of and there are bills involved and it's another life. Would you give a 14-year-old the keys to a car? I would not.

So, this sand, which moves, much like a dog or a truck. No, the sand does not move like a dog or a truck. Of three-year-olds. And also, the dog is a living thing, so that is moving on its own. The car, you have to drive a car. You have to move the sand.

Right. The sand isn't moving on its own, so you just move by point. And you wouldn sand isn't moving on its own. Give us the car. And you wouldn't give a car to a three-year-old. I can't sign off on this product, but if you need the pull quote,

there's my answer. Teens, adults only. Cut to parents, parents like trying to buy sand, like connect sand towards the rest. All right. and can i just

see uh your driver's license can i say some form of id or car registration please i'm sorry why i don't feel comfortable giving that information out so if i can just buy this that's fine then we are gonna have to put this uh product behind the shelf and you are more than welcome to browse any why sorry why is that Oh, for the kinetic sand. The sand that moves. You do need a license to operate it because it's a moving thing. You need a driver's license to operate it? Yeah, in the same way that you need a driver's

license to operate a car. No. That doesn't make any sense. I don't treat the messenger but if you do want this sand, and a lot of people do. You're the gatekeeper though. You're not just the messenger. But if you do want this, you're not the gatekeeper though. You're not just the messenger. You're the reason.

I didn't put, I didn't decide it. I actually decided it. The, the higher ups at kinetic sand, Inc. Cut back. Let's go 17.

And then I will talk to the state legislator. I don't know what else to say. Okay. This is very uncommon for the focus group to decide the laws of sales around. Are we sure we want to do 17? Because we could do 21. I mean, you know,

if you can't buy cigarettes, I don't know if you should be able to. That's for people of legal drinking age. I don't think that's the same thing as the sand. This is definitely a kid's toy. So I don't think it's the same. I don't know.

I mean, you're also, you are representing the company though, right? And like cigarette companies used to advertise to kids all the time. But that's different. Cigarettes actively cause lung cancer. Right. Cigarettes actively cause damage. And I would say that the anger in the room right now is commensurate damage.

I think the anger in the room is more of just a general lack of understanding of the physics of sand and less about the product itself if that makes sense why are you guys trying to make this product what is it for it's for people it's a stress reliever and it's fun for kids for a sensory toy clearly it's having the opposite effect in this room because i don't think anyone here knows maybe just what kinetic means i guess a lot of people might not know what that means movement right and this sand is a movable thing correct not on its own i i i don't know how we can get out of this loop that we're in people drive cars every day yes drive trains people we're not comparing airplanes to airplanes none of them none of them disagree when they learn

that they are driving a weapon they are operating a vehicle that so now we're saying the sand is a weapon i don't know what it's capable of. We've been here for 30 minutes. All right, I'm going to take a fistful of this sand and I'm going to throw it at your thigh. And you need to tell me if it hurts you because it shouldn't. It should just be kind of like splat and just kind of like fall together really easily.

It might even fall apart at midair. Guys, I'm scared. Ah! Ah! Ah! Okay, all right. Enough of the dramatics. I'm sure it did. He passes out.

Did you kill him? The bone is popping through the thigh. You killed him, man. Oh, my God. No, no. So we call 911. No, no, no. No one call anyone.

No one call anyone. I think he's fine. I think he's fine. That had nothing to do with the sand. That was not the sand. He must have tripped or fallen I think he's fine that had nothing to do with the sand that was not the sand that he must have tripped or fallen or did something else that had nothing to do with the sand cut to the packaging line of kinetic sand you kind of just see the sand

like move up into frame bag gets put on it close up on ages 17 and up legally binding cut to someone's 21st birthday all right here we go oh my god my first legal tequila shot and honey we got you one more gift no no you didn't no you didn't opens it up kinetic sand no way your dad said it was too dangerous but i thought that could be fun to try right honey i don't like having kinetic sand in this house if you're gonna have it it needs to be in a safe

and all of us need to take a course on how to um handle it yeah yeah that's fine that's fine i'm just so excited thank you so much all. We'll sign up for the kinetic sand course. That's fine. If that'll appease you, honey, we can stop shaking your head. It's fun. I don't like kinetic sand. I do not like them. Sam, I am.

Sam, I am. It's not a joking matter. This is serious. Honey, I know that your best friend was killed in the kinetic sand trials of 2022. But you have to let that go. The past is in the past. We're moving on. Every other country has common sense kinetic sand laws.

And the fact that you were able to buy this for her honestly is scary because you're normal i am normal and i just wanted our kid to have a little fun live on the edge a little bit you know as long as we handle kinetic sand in this way, who cares? It's fine. I honestly think if you're not using it for fishing in the ocean, then I don't understand why you need kinetic sand. Like some people use it to like throw globs of it onto like clown fish in shallow water. I learned.

So. Well, what will you be? Would you be happy if you returned the kinetic sand? No, don't say that. No, I mean, I don't want this to come. Yes, I would. I would. Fine, then you go do it. You do it and show your daughter how you want to ruin her birthday.

Great. Takes it. Dad, are you kidding you're 21 go get drunk i wanted to get drunk off fun with the sand oh i texted all my friends already saying oh my god my parents want me kinetic sand and they're all so excited now it's gonna be so embarrassing if you return it i'll get you any alcohol you want i'll get you weed okay well that's taking it a step too far that's too far too far that's too far she's 21 this is unbelievable uh i think what's gonna happen is we're gonna get a divorce because i'm starting to feel no she can play with kinetic sand there's no way and especially not at the same time she can play with kinetic sand especially at the same time especially at the same time because i trust her why she's never used it before

well i tried at a friend's house once what my friend's parents had a bag of kinetic sand and i didn't want to tell you guys because I didn't want you to freak out. But look, I'm fine, aren't I? No, that's it. That's it, young lady. I'm going to spank your ass. No, don't spank her. That is so weird that you do that.

It is so inappropriate. And I'm 21. I'm 48. I'm 48. Nobody's safe from spankings by the way all right if I did something fucked up I'd expect you guys to also spank my you always do this you always ask for people to spank you I don't ask I just know when I did something wrong all right I don't like it I just I know that I need to be disciplined and shit whatever take the sand i'll just go to sarah's house and i'll play with the sand there well no if you're gonna if you're gonna play with sand i'd

rather you do it here if you're gonna play with sand i'd rather you do it in the safety of our own home if you're gonna play with sand i'd rather fine but i'm gonna have to spank your ass once no you can spank my ass, honey. That's like different. No. All right. Should we do our last segment? Yeah. Wow.

Those were long. This. Ship me on. Week long. I got an espresso machine people are gonna be pissed we only did two sorry they were long we had world building to do yeah I got an espresso machine

and are you happy finally um no but it is good in the morning i drink the coffee in mornings grind the beans like it's sand grind um caffeine out the wazoo experimenting with extraction you know ratios size, bean amount. Yeah. Doubles, singles, macchiatos, Americanos, right? Canyon coffee, obviously, the goat coffee bean, shout out.

But also anything else that strikes my fancy at the grocery store. Like what? So far, it's just been Intellig got it so yeah but that's exciting i plan on trying a bunch of different well beans that's very cool yeah what about you oh god me no one's asked me what struck me in a week um what has been taking me oh my god there's a 13 week old puppy in the building he's a tiny little guy stairs are too big for him he has to do like two paws and just kind of like shove himself up he his he has tiny little puppy teeth so when i see him in the hall or outside in the parking lot i, he'll take my knuckle in his mouth, one of my knuckles, and he'll just kind of gnaw on it a little bit. He gets excited to see me now where a couple of

times I've seen him, he gets a little nervous, but now he knows who I am. And it's the best thing ever. I ran into my neighbor who owns him and, and she was leaving as I was going inside and I was playing with puppy and she's like, all right, we got to go. And so like they were already heading outside. And as soon as I started heading inside, he started trailing after me a little bit. And because he's baby, it's just like his tail's too big.

His paws are too big and he's just running after me. And then he just like, just give a big puppy, just to be around a puppy, to be around like a bait. Like he's like, he's like he's so she started fostering him and they said that when the rescue was like oh he's 10 weeks old and then she took him to the vet and they're like no he was probably like seven or eight weeks old when you started fostering him so he is like they already lost track he is baby he is baby baby and um she told us that she's like whenever you want to visit him just like come by or text me and I'll bring him over.

And I think she has him alone. So she's going to like she's like help out whenever you want. And I'm like, we absolutely fucking will. Yeah, that's exciting. I haven't been around a puppy that young in like ages. So it's very fun. He has a little pink puppy belly and it just smells like puppy and he's so cute i love him oh yeah um so that's i guess shaking me sometimes i'll just ask

daniel i'm like what do you think he's doing right now and daniel's like puppy i'm like yeah like what is he up to do we think and he's like sleeping I'm like hmm I guess probably you can follow Riley on Instagram at Riley Anspa on Twitter at Riley Coyote and the show on Instagram at Review Review

and on Reddit r slash Review Review you can follow Jeff on Instagram at Jeffrey James on instagram at jeffrey james on twitter at jeff boyardee thank you to underscore christian side hug so he can hug two people simultaneously agent michael scarn a co doesn't have it in her this week to suffer another round of lies hate and slander from snake tons arrest them. Austin's been feeling like he's a cute little boy now that he's been dieting and he loves his beautiful wife, so chill out, actually. Ben built

a computer and he feels like a go- Ben built a computer and he feels like a god, parents. Fairly odd parents. Just don't understand. I will always love youth. Bobby B. In the Rocket Bules.

Cam has roid rage, but it's hemorrhoids. Chuck. Connor Finnegan is the lucky charm leprechaun without the luck or the charm. Dakota Bud, you gotta get laser removal for that tattoo of our names on your ass. Well, face, but you know, your ass. Dr. Kerb- Dr. Kerbulture, MD. Fancy Octopus is, according to a co, submissive and breedable.

Jeff tried to roast Damien Kirk at the last Zardy for not being a virgin, but he was wrong. The tuck won't return my DMs. Gilk Jonak has never once heard a woman say that they want it that way. Tell me why. Gray was climbing the social ladder, but then he got rejected again

and is back down at the bottom among the toddlers. Hey Jeff, it's James. Can you do me a quick favor and say, of course I'm the real Jeffrey James. Why would I catfish you? Thanks. I eat spaghetti and heat balls. It's like spaghetti and meatballs, but instead of noodles, I eat the sun. I, Jeffily, and James, say with sound mind and body that I think Brennan Lee Mulligan has a thick shock, like a cock, but it makes you. I Venmo'd Jeff for my rent money to pay for the subscription, and I would really appreciate it if he could send it back. Thanks. Insomniacs in Idaho.

So it's Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks eating several potato-based dishes at 2 a.m. Jake Ullman. Jay is actually in the U.S. for a bit now, and the whole time zone thing might work out this week. Jesse Tipton Joe and for lack of a better term well Malazov Julen Bede Caleb is too busy to come to the phone right now Please leave a message after the beep

Casper Bopasper Lord Hunter the Ordained Lucas Heinzel Marco Rubio Michael Beggle Money money money I'm flush with cash from these Patreon simps Marco Rubio, but he's got a thick bush. Oh my god. Michael Beggle. Money, money, money. I'm flush with cash from these Patreon simps. We're famous and more important

than you. My name has been the same for months. Is it time for a change? Nah. Happy birthday, Jeff. Use code Jeff for 20% off your Baldo purchase. This is crazy. Nate Porteus has a birthday soon and can cry if he wants to. Happy birthday, Nate. New patron. Nolan Murphy, but rage roid.

But it's rouge raid. Nolan Murphy deserves to be a combat medic, fall in love with a nurse, and have her die in his arms delivering their baby. Nolan Murphy is bread. Oh, hi, Mark. Well, priest. Oh, so it's lame to advertise your business name through your Patreon? Come say that to

my face at Smokin' Time on Main Island. Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater. Puff Riley. through your patreon come say that to my face at smoking time on main island peter peter pumpkin eater puff riley scene is jeff getting ankles waxed oh poo smooth pete and his new jazz band the corbin bowl players it's not new that's the same name this isn't a patreon name but i feel like john daniels gets a ton of well ass and tj michael so that's patreon.com forward slash Riley and Jeff. That was really beautiful. That was really beautiful. It was hard.

I loved hearing you read every single one. It was kind of exhausting. Yeah. It sounded like it. Yeah. But well, thank you guys for listening to this episode of review review. We'll see you guys again next week.

Arrivederci. Chee! That was a Hiddem original.