Review Revue - Laundromats

Episode Date: March 29, 2022

This week on Review Revue; Geoff and Reilly read reviews on LAUNDROMATS and publish a book, never let go of their youth, and try to get through Ellis Island.   Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjames Twitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardee <><> Produced by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. And participating restaurants for a limited time. This is a HeadGum Original.

I just can't get out. I can't get out. I can't get out. Where is the humor that I needed the most? You took an ad break and the magic is ghost They tell me the niche joke's gone mainstream They tell me comedy's all out of steam And I don't need no new podcast You listen to old ups just to hit a new low You're faking a chortle the joke's been retold I'll tell you

my life's been really sad I'm holding it in but it's really bad but look there's a new podcast cause you took a bad review, made some new jokes, subverted a genre just to make it your own You took a bad review. The Reddit don't lie.

You made something new and I really don't mind. You took a bad review. This is Review Review. You took a bad review. This is Review Review. Did he say you chortle at an old joke or something? Yeah, I was like, you make a chortle for a joke that's been retold. That's poetry. That was beautiful and dark and twisted and...

Holy shit, I'm in love. What? I'm in love. Who wrote that? Who made that? That was Kevin Williams. He said, enjoy and be joy. Well, that's...

God, he would say that. That's so Kevin. It's so Kevin. Well, you don't know Kevin. Well, no. Okay. No, you don't know Kevin. Like I know Kevin. Like that was so, I've never met him, but I've never met him. No, I actually, I don't know what his face is, but I know what his face looks like. What did I say?'t know what his face is but i know what his face looks like what did i say you said what his face is yes it's a face thank you kevin i don't even know what it is i don't know anything it could it could be a face but i wouldn't know i've never met him like i said but i do know him very well okay name one thing about kevin he sent in a theme song. Damn it.

God, she knows him like the back of her fucking hand. But my God, I do know him. But Jeffrey, like what's new? You're a mogul. And by you're a mogul, I mean, did you ski any moguls when you were away this weekend? I avoided the moguls like the plague.

I get scared by the little bumps. But I was skiing and i uh oh i was skiing and i was seeing the beauty the natural wonders of colorado gorgeous the rocky mountains yeah what else yeah that's it yeah okay well that sounds really wonderful. Yeah. You're a little ski bunny. You grew up in Utah for a while. For five years. Okay. For the first five years of my life. I was going to ask if you got on the slopes, but.

I did. When I was little, I remember like being in ski school, like baby ski school and like going from like the wedge to parallel. But when I was little, it would be going from pizza to french fry. Even when you're an adult, it's pizza french fry. It's pizza french fry, for sure. But yeah, I mean, my God, I barely remember anything. But I do remember just like me and like four other kids like looking like Christmas story, like Ralphie.

And like the amount of snow clothes we have on. But me, what did I do while you were doing that? St. Patrick's Day happened. It happened. And I was reborn in a way. What's that? It was the first time that I kind of like threw a St. Patrick's thing. And it was only for like 10 total people, 12.

Because it was also Jaylee's birthday. So it was St. Patty's Jay. I'm so sad you missed it. I made my first ever shepherd's pie. Was it good? And it was a team effort, but it was also Jaylee's birthday so it was St. Paddy's Jay I'm so sad you missed it I made my first ever shepherd's pie was it good and it was a team effort but it was good it turned out Daniel boiled cabbage and there's no good way to do it um but it was like there's only one way to do it yeah no I'm saying it's like no matter how you do it it just tastes like boiled cabbage um yeah but it was very fun and I think it's just like in my mind just because growing up with it i'm like oh i'm gonna make shepherd's pie the majority of the people at

this event did not know what that was um yeah and i in my mind i think it's just i'm just like oh when you grow up with it it's like everyone knows what this is and that wasn't the case but it was very very fun. You weren't there. You weren't there. So I wonder what the variable is. It's like we all had a great time, but it was sans you. So it was like I wonder if that would have changed had you had been there. Does that make sense? Well, it sounds like it was a good time either way,

and maybe I would have added something to the table. Well, we won't know because you weren't there. So it's like we actually won't know if it would have been more fun if you had been there or if it would have just been like very different night very different vibe okay you think you think one per so i became a fraction of 11 at that point and that's enough to at least change it and you would assume you're assuming negative that's my assumption that's the hypothesis no we wouldn't have to, because now I don't want to come to the party.

Now I don't want to come to the future party, because you're seeing it as a test. And that's what's hurtful. Speaking of party, well, this will have already happened by the time this comes out, but we're going to be in person for Azardi, for the second time ever. Azardi,

a Zoom party. In person for Azardi. Yeah. I'm very excited. I'm very exarted. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of party.

Speaking of. How are you going to make this transition? Speaking of a place and a time where people can get together. Okay. And be in community with one another. Share stories. Share. Not really.

Laughs. Share tears. It's a chore. It's a chore to do. We were talking laundromats. Laundromats. What about Laundromat Hasty? Laundromat Hasty is really good.

That's better than gray. Yeah, so that's, well, it'd be gray and he's sort of doing his like grays, which nobody does. Nobody does a load of grays. Sorry. Do you have your whites in there?

Oh, no, this is grays. Those are my, these are just my grays. Oh, so these are these are your darks i haven't done the darks yet what do you mean darks by the way i do i do reds i do my yellows i do so you do every color so you color code i'm here all day yeah yeah that's the issue i mean talk to me about them wax mats i so i don't i in college we had in-unit laundry in this uh ramshackle house but it barely worked so much so especially the dryer that you put in the dryer and it came out as wet if not somehow more wet than the washing machine did you ever change out the lint screen

it was not that it was that they were from like the 70s and just did not work so i would sometimes go down the street and do the laundromat but it was it was close enough that it was a more of a hassle than if i because i can't you can't drive it if it's a block away yeah so you're you're lugging baskets of your favorite clothes. But I would say that my most experience per capita with a laundromat was in New York, wash and fold. And it was a revelation. And you might start using them here. You just drop it off and you pick them up, fold it, and done. Love that.

Yeah. What about you? Today is laundry fold it and done. Love that. Yeah. What about you? Today is laundry day for me for sure. Our laundry basket, we have in-unit laundry now, but our basket in our room is overflowing. It is like we are precariously putting clothes on top of each other in a mountain that we hope will not come tumbling down. Yes, in college, I too had in-unit laundry that i remember when we moved in the person who lived there before had never cleaned the lint screen and so my roommates

mom my mom were like helping us move in they checked the lint screen and they're like holy shit we're so glad you guys didn't run anything this place would have burned down yeah right but there's something very i i love the sounds of laundry like there's for me it's like so being at a laundromat is really comforting like yeah the sounds of it going and the smells like i love the smells the smell it's freshly laundered linen it's so good it's so good um a little stressful you know and there's like they have to time it out just so you have to time it out just so of like right there are going to be drivers available when your washing is done and um you know i can get a little tense tense i got you got in a fight no i didn't get it's always been fine timing uh but no i fight. It's always been fine timing. But no, I find that it's just like,

it's short of it. It's definitely only if you only have like one or two loads. It's bring a book. Bring a book. So you stay. You stay at the laundromat. Sometimes. I haven't gone probably since college,

maybe a little bit after college, but I would bring a book if it's short enough. But now with COVID, I probably wouldn't because just I wouldn't want to be inside that whole time. maybe a little bit after college but i would bring a book if it's short enough uh but now with covid i probably wouldn't because just i wouldn't want to be inside that whole time but god on i forget what app i had that um it would help like play sounds like just white noise me to go to sleep and i like listening to rain if i'm not sleeping with daniel it's falling asleep i listen to stuff and so i like right but they also have like laundromat not laundromat but just like laundry yeah it's good white noise it's good white noise

so in a way a laundromat is kind of heaven we should get into it what the fuck that's how you know you make it to heaven? I just, I'm in a laundromat with a half full vending machine and a book. All right, do you want to start us off with our first review? This is from Launderland Laundromat in Los Angeles. This is one star from Nettie H. Nettie Hot. I knew you were going to say that because that's also the name i would have given her okay one star once upon a time there was a family that went to laundryland coin op laundry

the family was very happy to go wash but suddenly there was a thief a thief in disguise the mom decided to throw in five dollars for quarters. She waited patiently for her quarters, but nothing ever came out. She freaked out and told her husband and the husband went bananas. That was the only money they had the end. Fix your damn machines. Sorry, let me re-read that last sentence because machines is all caps with like five exclamation marks. So that was the, this is, this is all one sentence and then starting fix your damn machines the next sentence that was the only money they had the end fix your damn machines um no i mean wendy the this is we can't print this you're a children's book author

right so you can't so you can't say damn. That's my first note. The second one is kids don't- I feel like that one was on the cusp. I feel like it's like, obviously I wouldn't put like S-H-I-T like shit in there, but like I feel like damn is like right on-

Don't spell it out if you're gonna say it right after. I feel like damn is like right on the, it's like some kids' parents let them say it and other ones don't, so I feel like that one's, but you know, happy to change that one. If that's the least of your worries,

happy to change it. That is the least of my worries. Okay. The most is that the subject matter just isn't interesting to children. They don't know what a laundry machine is. And if they do, they don't want to hear about it.

Um, are you sure about that? I mean, like I'm just saying my kids love sitting down, like sitting and watching the machines. Like they just have so much fun, like watching the clothes go like around and around and

around, you know? So I feel like that's a very universal experience for children. And I feel like them getting to learn about like the world of laundry and kind of how it affects people. It's just, it's like, you know, kids books are about like, how do we make them the ordinary extraordinary? And I feel like that's kind of what this book is accomplishing. Okay.

I would agree with that. I mean, that'd be great to take on everyday thing but especially if there's a lesson involved this one is just you yelling at a the owner of a laundromat which is maybe a bad lesson to teach kids that the reason the way to deal with it is to say stuff like damn and to yell machines i would argue that the lesson is actually maintenance repair and it's like proactivity and productivity. And it's like, get ahead of the problem before it arises, get ahead of fixing things before they break down. I feel like that's, you know what? I actually feel like you might've missed the message of the book and that's okay. That's okay. That's why we talk about it. I think it's great that it's fostered discussion. I don't know if a children's book should foster discussion. I think that the lesson should be crystal clear if there's going

to be one. And it definitely shouldn't be, you know, mechanic, mechanical in nature, in terms of teaching a kid how to fix a lawnmower machine, which also is a skill that most kids won't ever have to learn. Okay, but just last month month one of your most popular books that you published here was i can fix cars so can you and it did show a bunch of four-year-olds like learning what it was like it's like oh here's how a race car works here's how a fire truck because kids love cars because kids love cars okay machines cars cars race cars these are things that kids traditionally love no they don't like laundry machines coin op that's crazy that it still even exists can you just by the time they're an adult and they're doing their own laundry those won't exist i'd like to make a bargain with you steven

a bargain i've been with you for a long time yes you are this is your last book on the deal by the way so it kind of matters whether it's good or not, whether you renew the contract. I agree. It absolutely matters. We are not on different pages about that. We are not on different pages, no pun intended. I know we both want to make a good book. in change machines and coin-op laundry, then I'll eat my hat. Then I'll change the book and I'll make it about a farm. I'll make it about

what it's like to run a farm and take care of the animals on the farm. Because it will not work out the way you think it will. And then we'll do the farm book. That sounds awesome. Okay, great.

To finish up, that was the only money we had the end. Fix your damn machines! All right. Let's just take some questions or comments or any initial yeah yeah what's your name honey griffin hi griffin so what did what were your first thoughts about about um wash my clothes i really need to see these in the flesh now. You need to see the people. You put a dollar bill. Oh, the coin machine.

And coins come out? Yes. That's awesome. I couldn't agree more, Griffin. Well, let's hear from someone else because that guy seems a little strange. Okay, let's write that down, though. So, Griffin, what age are you, honey?

You're five? Five, right? I'm five and a half. Griffin, five and a half. Yes, you are. Wants to see coin machines in person. That kid's crazy. Let's get a couple more questions if we could just kind of.

No, not really. Let's hear from the other ones. Hello? Yeah. Yes, honey. What's your name? Hi. I'm Lily.

And I'm almost four. Oh, that's so sweet. That's so sweet, Lily. Now, what did you think of the book? Really young to, Lelina. What did you think of the book? Really young to be in a focus group. What did you think of the book? I feel like I should have done five and up. Well, my parents say that I'm really precocious.

Wow, that you are. How do you know that word? This is not a normal focus group. What were your thoughts about Wash My Clothes? I have a feeling like I know what the lesson was about but i don't know if i'm right or not no there's no wrong answers here all right this will be interesting what did you think the lesson of the book was about well at first i thought the lesson was like to be kind to other people and like to not like yell at them and and i was but But then as the book went on,

okay, yeah, as the book went on, I realized that it really is about fixing problems before they arise. Arise? If you own a coin-op laundromat, you should make sure your machines are working properly so that no one's money gets given. I'm sorry to interrupt.

That's so specific. How many, raise your hand if you, how about this? Kids, raise your hand if you think you're going to own a coin-op laundromat in the next 15 years. They all raised their hands. How? This book was really inspiring to me. Oh my goodness.

This is fantastic. I couldn't be more thrilled. steven what do you say these kids really you go now kids now raise your hands if you want to see the whole book maybe a series for wash my clothes going up going up going Stephen, are you going to disappoint these kids and discontent? You know, mean Mr. Stephen Brown, he doesn't want to make this book. Boo! Boo! Boo!

Publish the book, damn it! See? Publish the book, damn it, and fix your machines! I don't have machines! I have authors! The kids want what the kids want i think we ultimately have to publish wash my clothes i'm so sorry and then we have to like write a new contract to make it a series maybe a movie i'm so sorry fine fine yay Cut to him at home that night. So, honey, how was work today? What's wrong?

You, what happened? I know that face. You pinch your cheek. I know that face. We did this focus group with a bunch of five-year-olds, and they all are into coin-op laundry, so we have to publish at least one book about laundry and i just i this isn't why i got into the children's publishing business i'm just i'm upset if the kids are happy and they're excited about what they're reading why else would you have gotten into the children's book publishing business because i wanted to do what i wanted to do well then you mr you need to reg

sorry you just make me laugh i didn't do anything our marriage is so healthy you mr man you need to write your own book all right got to the next focus group. And it sort of plays off my love of floral arrangement and gardening by myself for a little peace and quiet, which I think is relatable. So, kids, what do you think about the idea? Any questions? Just a lot of mouth sounds. Come on. Kids? Okay, kids. questions or just a lot of mouth sounds come on kids okay kids we will hand out the little mini bags of of uh goldfish if one of you gives a comment yeah you in the front um hi i'm jackson um and i think it just like it doesn't sound fun because it sounds like doing it alone is really boring okay let me just start to write that down before we go to the next one

boring book not fun well i you know i know that you're just doing shorthand notes but uh maybe maybe there's a different way to write that down. Nope, that's exactly what he said. I feel like that was the clearest way to write that down. Does anyone else have anything to say? That's okay. We don't have to do another one. That's us.

When's wash my clothes for wash your clothes coming out? Ball. Yay! It sucks! Coin up! Coin up! Coin up! Coin up! This is dumb!

I don't understand your generation. Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Every book it says damn it. Wash your clothes for wash my damn clothes. Weird subtitle. Almost the same as the title.

Why I need a subtitle. Let's take a quick break and get back with some laundromat reviews. Coin up. Coin up. Coin up. And we're back. Coin up, coin up, coin up. This is a one-star review of Desi's Coin Laundry in Los Angeles.

I might have one from Desi's as well, but mine's five stars. Go ahead. This is from Amanda C. Amanda C. Freed. Amanda C. Freed. Amanda C. Freed. This was the second time I had to play a game of parking musical chairs. The worst parking situation for a laundromat as the area around is also a parking disaster. Oh, and I must not forget to mention my load of whites that now look like a two-year-old did arts and crafts time on them.

Thank you to your dryer that ruined my favorite bedspread. Arts and crafts time. All right, guys, welcome to your senior thesis practicum in visual arts, you know, as you pursue your BFA. Or as I like to call it, arts and crafts time. Oh, come on. Stop. No, we're going to awaken our inner child. We're going to awaken our inner child because you can't create unless you tap into that.

That childlike curiosity. That's so true. So I don't want you guys to take it too seriously. Just have fun and create because that's what art should be. I'm ready. I mean, I don't know about you guys, but I'm because that's what art should be. I'm ready. I mean, I don't know about you guys, but I'm just ready to go all in and I'm excited. Hi, I'm Jennifer.

I'm really excited to be here. I'm 22. So, you know, I'm excited to go into the real world. And so like to have one final project is really exciting for me. But, and yes, we're going to keep going around the room,

but just Jennifer, it's not about getting into the real world because as an artist, you can never grow up. All right. Don't take it too seriously. Yeah, no, I totally agree. It's like the inner child is so important. And so what, what I am really focused on in my work is like how to marry the inner child with age and what it's like.

He's like plugging his ears ah i don't talk about marriage don't talk about marriage because no because it's not that's that's too adult that's too serious hey man don't interrupt her she was actually trying to talk about her project and what it means to her and so that was kind of what's your name me i'm i'm jack hey jack Jack. Hey, Jack. What did you want to be when you grew up? Jesus. I wanted to be a vet. And now here you are in art school. So that's what I'm talking about.

That's what I'm talking about. What are you talking about? Because if you were a vet, you wouldn't be having any fun. But here we are. And we're all smiling. Professor's the only one smiling. Sorry, what's your name again, Professor? What's your first name? Professor Maximus.

I changed my name when I was an adult because my family was really serious and I couldn't fucking cut it. Whoa. Sorry, I just dropped in for a second to that place. That's okay. I don't like creating art from real life because real life is too hard so let's be kids let's be kids today yeah let's be kids today what i think we're all

thinking right now um is that i think the vibe is or the lesson that you're trying to share is that it's like yes it's so important to create from a childlike place, process over product. But we are adults. We're young adults. And so I think it's important to keep that childlike spirit alive while we create. Is that what you're saying? I just want to be clear that we're all on the same page. I'm saying let's stay young forever. Peter Pan style.

Yeah, Peter Pan style. So that's why every, I actually, I looked into your work. And every piece is kind of a variation on Peter Pan. Um, quite literally every piece is called Peter Pan one, two, three, four, five, you know, so on and so on. And why do you think I have to teach here? Cause I can't get the rights to the iconography. I've never sold a piece, but you know, when I was a kid, I didn't think about money. Yeah. I don't kid, I didn't think about money. Yeah. I don't think a lot of kids think about money.

Great. Then neither should we. No, I think we should, because especially as artists. Listen, man, I am so excited to be here. I know we all. Yeah, I'm excited to be here, too. Can I talk about my thesis project? No, sorry, Jennifer. I'm actually going to talk over you as well. We all are really excited to be here. And I think let's just get to making art right you know why are we here talking we should be in here drawing we should be here sketching painting yeah yeah nice i don't know if we should draw just because like pencils are sharp and uh i wasn't allowed to use pencils when i was a kid so uh right we're gonna be using our thumbs 36 37 i'm 41 actually, actually. Thank you, though.

41, you look good. You are allowed to use pencils, though, no? Obviously you are. Sorry, let me rephrase that. You know that you're allowed to use a pencil. You're an artist. You're an art professor. Huh.

No one ever told me that until just now. I guess I could have guessed. So you wait to get permission for everything. Well, you know, when I was five, I had to ask. Now I'm 41. But with the spirit of that five-year-old, because guess what? Are you guys in therapy? Yes.

Really? At all, every single one. That was unanimous. We are all in therapy. Yeah. Okay. When you're a kid, you're probably not in therapy. A couple of us started young, but I don't think it's too common.

So I've avoided it. I drive a Flintstones car. Power with my feet. Kind of like the Fisher-Price toy car. It's the red one with the blue doors. It takes me a long time to get to work yeah i built wood bars around my queen size bed to make it a crib so it's a crib so you're a man baby not baby but let's say five so yeah because you keep you do keep saying five yeah and also i don't think five-year-olds five-year-olds definitely don't sleep in cribs anymore really yeah it's hard because when you're

five you don't really have that context right but you're 41 like you said that's true yeah i have never dated anyone because that's too young that seems no wait what's too young five would be 41 you are not five years old. Okay, listen, I tried the adult thing. When I was in art school and I was your guys' age, I wanted to take over the fucking world. I wanted to do Yoko Ono-style performance art. Then why didn't you? That sounds incredible.

I did, and it was scary. Well, sure, you try anything once, it's gonna be scary. Oh, really? Yes. Oh oh it's funny a table's turn you know students become the master i'm so interested in what you guys have to say jennifer this whole time has been sketching uh excuse me i i've been just working on a little something since we i mean i think we've been here about three hours now and i would just like to she turns it around it is professor maximus it. It's like, it's incredibly detailed. It's like one of those like hyper-realistic drawings,

but it's your face on like a baby's body. And so that's what I have today. I've never felt so seen. Yeah. I've never felt so seen. It's a satirical piece. It's, oh, meaning got it oh shit it's four o'clock if i want to get home before eight i have to leave now all right you guys just do whatever you want finger paint ideally but whatever you can draw

on the walls right i am noticing now that every peter Pan thing that you have made is all with finger paint. Yeah. Yeah. Because even brushes, you can get a little dicey. I wouldn't give them to a five-year-old. I'm 41. Right. And I'm being sued.

For? The rights to Peter Pan. The Walt Disney Company has legal counsel on every corner at every turn. I did a gallery showing at a daycare. I don't know if you don't know your age because you do keep saying I'm 41. I am fucking over the hill.

But then when we say you're 41 then you're like, huh. Huh. Really? Right. You guys, this is going to be a good semester. It's going to be a good semester.

Chex is rostered the next morning. Everyone's dropped to class. Huh. Huh. Wish I would have known that before I drove into work. Feet bleeding. A trail of blood. More paint for me.

Oh. All right, should we do our last review why not we're all kids we're all 41 and 5 at the same time we're all an age okay this is also for Desi's coin laundry this is 5

stars oh from Kalohe Kalohe Longbottom Kalohe Longbottom five stars great place to wash your laundry

I had to stop by here when I was in Los Angeles for work and pleasure great customer service and parking I'll come back here again alright welcome to New York Great customer service and parking. I'll come back here again. All right. Welcome to New York. Can I get a reason for your trip here?

Business, pleasure? Business and pleasure. Business and pleasure. Nice. Work and pleasure. Leisure. Pleasure? Yeah, that's pleasure and leisure. Pleasure and leisure.

That feels like it's just still filling out forms. It feels like it's the same thing. You can write both down though, just in case. I will like, you know. I'll probably just take boxes. One work, one pleasure. Can I ask where you're staying on this trip? There's not like an other box that you could add your own?

Because you could write, check the other box and then do leisure. There is a box that says other. You could check the other box and then write down. But I feel like it is pleasure. So I'm just gonna keep that box ticked um where are you staying during your trip i i'm staying at uh the yotel it's uh where is that it's in like midtown east i think and it has like you sleep in a pod basically but if we could just go back to the other box for a second i've just

i would disagree that pleasure and leisure are the same thing i feel like pleasure is like active and leisure is more passive does that make sense it does there's a huge line behind him that doesn't matter for this form and we do this today's a really busy travel day so we're gonna need to keep things moving um mr i would just so even if it doesn't matter for the form i'd like to just do it to the best of my ability i've always been like kind of an overachiever, a perfectionist. That's okay. You know what? This covers all of that.

That's why leisure is harder than pleasure for me. God, as you're saying at the Yotel. And what are the dates of your stay? It's like March 5th to 29th. But if we could just, yeah. Because like, how do you relax? Let's just ask that. Can I just see your passport really quick? I relax mean listen i'm so sorry we we have such a long line let me

just scan right so you have busy days your point so like that's work but what's leisure how do you relax uh you know good book we all have our own feet up we all have it and i'd love to know yours you are good to go uh we'll take the next person in line. Yep. Yep. Hello. Welcome to New York. What is the reason for your visit? It's going to be trading and also a little bit of sex. Got it.

So, okay. I don't need to know that. So just work or pleasure, basically. I guess, well, in that regard, it'd be both work and pleasure. Yeah. Work and pleasure. Where are you staying? What was he talking about, by the way?

Leisure? I don't know. That was an option. Oh, it doesn't matter. I was asking that person, again, work and pleasure. Because I was going to try and get some R&R. That's okay. That's great.

So work and pleasure. Great. And where are you staying? Did you write leisure down? I didn't because that falls under pleasure. I don't know if it does though. Like I kind of, I couldn't help it over here. You know what? I don't actually need to check your passport.

I feel like you're good to go. So let's just get the next person in line. All right. Hello. Hello. Hi. Welcome to New York. What's the reason for your stay?

Leisure. Leisure. Okay. Wait, sorry. Say leisure or pleasure. Oh, well, okay I'm just gonna mark it down under pleasure because we don't have leisure on the form have you oh I just came from Indiana and I'm from Liverpool uh and really there they have hoosiers what does that factor? That is just kind of a cultural term. Okay.

So that doesn't... Do you mean the movie or like the sports team? The sports team. Everybody's saying, go Hoosiers. Well, I was trying to have leisure and I started to get the wires crossed. So now I sort of wonder if leisure and Hoosiers might be related. And if you put it on the form. No.

Can you put... Is there another box? on the form. No. Can you put, is there another box? Everyone keeps asking. Everybody, in line. You see the big screens. You see what's on the form. You're handed part of the form when you get off the plane. There's no,

I'm not going to just write in the specifics of what you're all here for. Work or pleasure. That's all we're going to do. Okay, thank you so much. I'll take the next person in line hey welcome to New York

what's the reason for your stay I'm trying to make it here I'm trying to make it in New York so I can make it anywhere okay so work or pleasure

honestly it's both at that point because I love what I do great work pleasure where are you staying I'm staying at my buddy

Travis's house okay what part of town is that in I don't know New York well enough to tell you Where are you staying? I'm staying at my buddy Travis's house. Okay. What part of town is that in? I don't know New York well enough to tell you. I know it's in New York. All right. I'll leave that blank. Can I just get your password, please?

I do music. Can you check other and just say, maybe you just plug my album? I'm not writing bios for people. All right. Next in line. Do you need my autograph, my signature? I don't need well actually can i get your signature there not an autograph just a signature autograph i'm already sending

i'm already making it in new york next step please good eye hello welcome to new york what is the reason for your say it can only be business or pleasure you can only say one of those two things well i'm trying to bring a little bit of arsey culture into into the upside of the earth aka new york side of the earth down under but up over new york city the upside of the earth upside over up over so you can write that down under what I can only assume is an other box. Put on the loudspeaker. I... This lane is closed for the rest of the day.

Lanes one through three and lanes five through seven will be open. Lane four is out of commission for today. I hope everyone enjoys their stay in the Big Apple Thank you so much We'll wait Everybody sits down No there aren't Lines 1, 2, 3 and 5, 6, 7

Are open We have officers Transportation officers at every one of those lines. but those are moving way too fast. Right. Don't you want to get into the city?

I want to get all my stuff on the form. You don't have to. The form is so minimal. I just need to scan your passport and get the reason for your visit.

I see what's happening. Everyone, please just I see what's happening. What? What's happened? I'm packing up my stuff for the day. What's happening I'm packing up my stuff What's happening You're xenophobic No I'm not

You don't want to know about immigrants You don't want to know about foreigners I'm not xenophobic Because you're afraid of us Guess what We're here and we're here to stay I'm going to be here for a year No you said you're

On the forum You said you're here for two weeks. Try it out, but I'll probably love it. Great. I hope you have a wonderful time, and I hope you move here. All right. Tessie, you know that they can't stay for a year without a visa. I'm sorry, but I just overheard what just happened, and you're fired.

It's me, your superior. You're fired. You're shit, Ken. Are you kidding me? Honestly, I saw it coming from a mile away. No! She's been really shit in her job. And you know what?

The line was a mile long because everyone has been taking so fucking long today. I don't think anybody, you know, cares about that. Do you guys like waiting in line for this? Yeah! Yeah! All right. All right.

Great. I'm fired, so have fun with the next clerk here. All right. Great. I'm fired. So have fun with the next clerk here. Next clerk comes up. All right. And you're good to go. I saw you checking with her. Next in line.

Hi, I'm here from, I was actually, I was studying abroad in London. Oh my God! Yeah! How was London? He starts transcribing everything. It was, it was incredible. No,

you've got to be kidding. We have to move. What did you do? Let's go. Rosebud Thorn. I met someone. Oh, Rosebud Thorn.

Okay. Rose. Well, I met someone. Oh my God. Name? Oh, his name is E.

E. Is E. The thorn is that I miss him no yeah well you know what you can always go back well the butt is that he's actually gonna come visit next month are you kidding me yes he's gonna come oh my god where are you gonna put this information sorry where is this going who is this for it's for the form it's on the back of the form right but this doesn't matter to anyone well it's nice to be listened to yeah it's nice to have someone care thank you yeah fine whatever i'm out do you need a ride by the way i know sometimes your boyfriend picks you up yeah it'd be great are you sure oh well we know there he is flintstone's car comes up

get in the car i'm 41 41. Customs asks you Rosebud Thorne of your trip. And everybody's happy to wait. They're waiting for their turn. Who likes waiting in line?

Us! Us! Pick it up and toss it! Toss it! Us! All right, should we do our last segment? Yeah!

This is the video we do! What's been shaking you, Riley?

I'm an ambivert you're a what ambivert meaning i'm not i'm not fully an introvert and i'm not fully an extrovert okay i am very much both last weekend daniel and e were shooting the short film and i was home alone for the weekend because i'm like oh i'm gonna get so much work done and so i didn't make any plans for that weekend. I'm going to do so much. Ended up not doing anything. And then because I was so fucking bored and lonely, I was so, I was just like,

it was just horrible. And so I'm like, fuck, I need to be around. I need to be around people. And then I had a wonderful week. Um, Robert Rasheed,

Daniel's brother was in town with his wonderful girlfriend, Lauren. And like, we had a fucking ball. We had plans like every single night yeah and i'm like oh my god i'm so rejuvenated by that like i absolutely love it and but then i just really go back and forth because then it's like i i i'm just learning more and more about myself and it's like there are days when i'm like oh i'm fully an extrovert and then i will, I think I lean more towards extrovert than I do introvert. Yeah.

But I really do, because it's like, you know, it's like extroverts, Elizabeth Valenti is a pure extrovert. Yeah. It's like she gets energy. She gets, she's revived from being around people all the time. Yeah. And like, I feel like if I'm at a gathering or like hanging out or whatever, I'll be fully on and fully in it.

And then I'll just hit my limit and it'll come out of nowhere where I will just hit a wall and be like, I'm done. Everyone needs to leave or I need to leave. Yeah. And it can be either of those two things. But it's like, then I suddenly just like fully turn off.

Right. And I am down for the count. And so I just think that's i just think it's wild and so because it's like there then that's why i realized that i'm not fully an extrovert because it's like with the same patch it's like that was so much fun yeah but i remember hitting a time where i'm just like get out of my fucking house it's time for bed it's time for you guys to fuck off it's time for me to have a drink alone and play some Pokemon or read a book. Yeah.

I get that. I feel like you're a mix of that, too. I might be an ambivert, but I think, yeah, I mean, I don't know. I'm definitely leaning introvert, which always surprises people. Like, I was just telling you this off air. Like, I've seen people and done something every day since I think like February 20th or something. And I'm fucking exhausted. But that's also an extreme example.

That hasn't happened to me in a long time. So maybe, maybe like recently I've been feeling more and more like an extrovert because I'm like, when the hell am I going to get a day where I don't have to see anybody? And it's still not going to come for another couple days but um that could also be ambivertness because uh that's just not having any introverted time to recharge um but i think i'm more of an introvert if you have to choose yeah i feel like if i if i lean towards one it's extrovert for sure but it is just wild and like daniel notices it too because it's usually when we're at events together or at something together or party whatever and i'll just be like i'll fully just he notices the time that you're like ready to go oh yeah well not even that i'm ready to go but then i'm just like i'm done like i'm done talking i'm done i'm done being in conversation

i'm just done and i'm just like i'm just like fully depleted and like i can stay like quote unquote on but it's like it that takes a lot of energy out of me to do that yeah um there was there was a like there was a day the other week where it was like we did a podcast or we did something together we did a live stream and then we did a podcast and then i had my acting class and so it was like it was a really fun day and i love doing all those things but i was just like so spent because i've been on yeah and that was the day robert got it yes yeah um that's a lot but but i really but yeah so in those moments where daniel consents me being like nope i'm done he like is a champ and like fully carries like

every conversation that's nice what's daniel is he an extrovert what do you think he's a mix as well um but i think he just has a wider threshold than i do for when he's like done um but it's like i've just found that elizabeth is always like my measuring point because she is pure extrovert yeah there's no part of her that ever wants to be alone um which is fine uh but i it's like i find you know uh i think like thursday night or friday night it's like a night that i don't have anything planned yeah and oh after this already but it's like and after a week of like a lot of craziness it's like oh that sounds really nice yeah so yeah that's what's been shaking me is people are complex people aren't just one thing and why put ourselves in any kind of binary when you know it's just like i'm both i'm an ambivert i mean fuck me

i'm an ambivert fuck what's you what about you what's you uh skied a black diamond twice when i was in colorado that's baller um and like didn't just fall down the mountain. So that was cool. And it's cool that every time, I feel like every time I go skiing, I level up a little bit. And this one was like the biggest jump other than the first time I skied and got it. So that was exciting. Like I'm solidly doing blues

and will dabble in a black if it's not too steep. So really excited for next year's ski season. Gonna try and go twice. gonna try and try out at least two new resorts that's the other thing i kind of want to like i don't want to go back to another resort until i've tried a lot of them because i've been to um someplace outside of oregon or someplace outside of portland i forget the name of it um big sky in montana um steamboat springs and now crested butte so i want to try like sun valley or whitefish or one of the tahoe ones um next year so that looking forward to that already but until until then it's surfing time baby it's been hard. Should we thank some patrons?

Yeah. Do the tears. Let me pull it up. Yeah, do the tears. Hold on. Big thank you to underscore Christian Sidehugs Dogs and Cats 2. Aaron, technically not an arsonist, Kiriko. Agent Michael Gunch.

A co-fucking trembles with suppressed rage for all the vitriol spewed her way But she's actually been really chill about it There's not a dear nut Alex Witt And now a patron who needs no introduction So moving on Austin not like Texas TV aka Buttbutt McFart May get a little nasty and go to the gym finally So in a way he's kind of a fit guy

Bob Buell And I'm sorry to put mef on a Tuesday morning blast, but it's actually pronounced Freya, not Freya. Like, come on. Cam needs to be publicly shamed for not taking down his Christmas tree yet or else it'll never get done. So have at it. Charlie Kirkland.

Oh my God. Charlie Kirkland brand vodka. Chahook. Cluff. Connor Finnegan. Great. Now all my energy from the break is gone. You've revitalized me.

Oh my God, guys. Again, we loved it. We loved it. It was such a nice break. It was such a nice break. We came back revitalized. Kerber Turtle. Daddy Tuesday Night is dishing out diaper changes.

Come and get it, Buell. Damien Kirk, Elizabeth Valente's Berea Elbro. Fancy Octopus. Freya. Frito Prey Love. Garf, enemy of the pod, is having a bit of a meltdown in the Denny's bathroom as we speak. Love that for you. Gail D. Soil, aka Sandy Loam.

Jeff Puff. Gilk Jonic. Gray is still a stout nerd. He's just taller about it. Hallie the Horribly Awesome is Gray's twin. Hey Jeff, could you please have anyone from Hey Riddle Riddle on the HeadGum Podcast, please? I just realized that my name is still That's How Moe Pete Do, but you know what? That's How Moe Pete Do.

I literally only subscribe to Force, Jeff, and Riley to say trans rights, XOXO. Jake Ullman. James Stanko. So it's James Franco, but he hasn't showered after a four-day camping trip. James Wagner's real... No. No way. James Wagner's real home address is, and then gives us the address, and his number is, gives us the number, and you better bleep that out.

Just don't post it. Just don't post it. Jesse Tipton. JP again. Anyway, I work the number, and you better bleep that out. Just don't post it. Just don't post it. Jesse Tipton. JP again. Anyway, I work at Disneyland, quitting soon. So if you two want to get in for free, message me. Wait, if this is real, huge if true. If we could go for free.

This is huge if true. When does he quit? JP, okay. We'll talk. We'll message him. We'll talk. Jeff. You? JP, okay. We'll talk. We'll message him. We'll talk. Jeff.

You and me, Disneyland? That would be very fun. That would be very fun. Caleb is now 21 and very ready to get absolutely zoinked at the Zardy. Casper. Lauren Malang. Les Pete. Lord Hunter the Ordained.

Maggie. Malik. Mark Priest. Michael Begel. Moe Pete Davidson. Moe Pete has taken a sabbatical from interacting with people online, but will still passively listen to live streams and Zardes. My name is Jeffrey James. Nope, we're not

doing that again. Jackson Hansel, we're not doing that. My name is Jeffrey James and... Oh, oh my god. Nope, this one is worse than the last one. But that's actually what they wrote. Nate Portingus thinks this has to be a Riley renameame Jeff can't be silly Nolan Murphy swallowed A quarter when he was five and leads

With that one on Every first date just kidding that bum Can't get a date Oh so it's lame to advertise your business through your Patreon Name come say that to my face It's smoking time on Bane Island Bessamasaurus Phoebe Oh is Bess pessimosaurus noop no nevermind

nope quark raven funny joke name so what is this like a job now you're telling me that i have to update my name more than once a year terms and conditions apply that one guy that everyone hates the dulcet tones of jeffrey's sleep I haven't been moaning in my sleep recently. Oh, the episode, this episode of review review is sponsored by cow milk, cow milk. If you drink almond milk, you're a fucking loser.

TJ Michael and Yaro Bouchard. So thank you all for subscribing at the highest tier. Um, and I'm excited for this already on Friday. I don't know about you. Me too. Um, and if you want more hashtag content,

go to patreon.com slash Riley and Jeff and if you want to find Jeff you can do that on Instagram at Jeffrey James on Twitter at Jeff Boyardee you can find the show on Instagram at Review Review

Twitter Review Review Show right at r slash Review Review and you can follow Riley on Instagram at Riley Anspa on Twitter at Riley Coyote and thanks so much for listening to this episode

of the show we'll see you guys again next Tuesday Arrivederci and JP we're gonna talk about Disneyland Arrivederci. And JP, we're going to talk about Disneyland. Arrivederci. Yeah. Chee!

Chee! That was a Hiddem Original.