Review Revue - LEGOLAND

Episode Date: July 13, 2021

Reilly and Geoff read reviews about LEGOLAND and discuss a grandfather's delusioned regaling, being passionate about water, and wasp-based litigation!Follow Reilly and Geoff:IG: @reillya...nspaugh & @geoffreyjamesTwitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardeeAdvertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Original. Get that Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. I'm participating in restaurants for a limited time. What I'm loving about kind of, you know,
Starting point is 00:00:25 seeing these theme songs progress is that at the end of the day, we're just, we just have, we own, we now officially own the melody of But You by Paul McCartney. I think we really do. I think we've not only taken it on as our own, but it's become more ours than it ever was. It's more our, like,
Starting point is 00:00:44 he couldn't even fathom having it as much as we now have this is really good i want to dance to this at the fuckin' shortstop. Hi, Jimmy! Hi. Hi, Jimmy! Hi. Hi, Jimmy! Hi. Hi, Jimmy!
Starting point is 00:01:22 Hi. Hi, Jimmy! Jimmy! Hi. Hi, Jeffy! Jeffy! Hi. That song was Jeff's worst nightmare. I liked it so much, and then I hated it so much, and then I liked it again. I loved that. Obviously.
Starting point is 00:01:47 That slapped and then it went to another dimension. I literally want a DJ to mix Stronger and Fahyoo. It went so well together. Do you think, imagine if Sir Paul sat down with us and we just shared all of these with him. Like, do you think he'd be honored or offended? I think he'd be indifferent. Like, he doesn't think about us. Because it's like, we're like, look at all of these.
Starting point is 00:02:19 Yeah. You didn't do those. These fucking rock and you didn't make it. How do you feel? Well, I mean he's a one of the most famous musicians of all time so it's like it's not the novel part wouldn't be that people are remixing his music because they've been doing that for 50 years oh yeah well that was amazing who was that from that was so fucking good that was from abstract shine uh they want to plug uh
Starting point is 00:02:41 their tiktok and instagram at abstract Shine. They make comedy and basketball content. And Amir follows them on TikTok. So shout out Abstract Shine. Go give them a follow. That was fantastic. What I also loved, like, you know, of course, the Hi, Jeffrey is fantastic, but also Jeff's little reluctant hi. Hi.
Starting point is 00:03:02 So hi, Jeffrey. Hi. Hi. How are you i am a 10 out of 10 i feel like i haven't talked to you in a long time yeah we have well we haven't recorded since last tuesday and that's longer than it usually is usually it's like yeah it's every tuesday or every wednesday and we see each other at least once a week and it's been over how the fuck are you really good yeah really fucking good holy shit you crazy bitch what's happening you crazy you crazy little you. What's going on, you bastard? Come on, we're having fun. No, you're yelling obscenities at me. What's going on, B?
Starting point is 00:03:53 Oh, that's good. I'm really, no, it's been a good, it's been a good like two weeks, weirdly. Just like a lot of socialization. I think you should leave season two came out. Fucking awesome. Seen the first two episodes. Have you you seen it at all you're gonna wait like a year well daniel and i have been catching up on season one of pen 15 so that's kind of where we're at right season one of pen so that's three years ago absolutely it is um got it um it's so fucking funny i'm not gonna spoil it
Starting point is 00:04:23 for anybody but the uh i'm not gonna spoil it for anybody there is a part where marika sent me a clip from one of them where he's like i just want to know if any of these fuckers and she was like 20 seconds in this is the way you would deliver this line and i was like yeah i just love everything about everything Zach Keenan, I don't know how you pronounce his name, Keenan, Tim Robinson, and Sam Richardson do. I want to be Sam Richardson. Speaking of Sam Richardson, Werewolves Within,
Starting point is 00:04:56 Sam Richardson, Josh Rubin, Milana Vayntrubin. That's not her last name. I was just kind of fitting it to the in. When she goes about life, that's not how that's not her last name I was just kind of fitting it to the in when she goes about life she's Weintraub in how are you I'm great
Starting point is 00:05:13 um god um yeah I'm great uh SNL tape submitted
Starting point is 00:05:24 um so that feels good to be done with that would you say it's sign sealed delivered? I'm so sorry to interrupt but would you say it's sign sealed delivered? sign sealed delivered I'm Lauren's hopefully that's really good so second try is the charm yeah so let's just say I got this in the bag um they have not called me
Starting point is 00:05:47 yeah thousands of submissions they have not called me um so that so that's been good uh that that was fun to do this weekend or i guess this will come out after the fact so let me just do it let me just uh let me think about it so this weekend daniel and i are going to viva las vegas um for our anniversary trip and we're going for meow wolf for omega mart uh which is if you haven't heard of it it is meow wolf's latest immersive art installation uh that's at area 15 or 51 um in vegas um we're very excited and we decided because it's like we have two hours free we're like uh let's just we have two hours free on a saturday yeah and it's gonna be so fucking hot and so we're like let's just we'll gamble a little bit um we're gonna look like such little dweebs and like our n95s like sitting at a slot machine um but you know what if we win big and so
Starting point is 00:06:50 now looking back on the weekend so today is uh it is thursday the 8th at the time of recording and so this comes out uh the 13th yeah um looking back i think we won it all. I think we absolutely, we hit every jackpot we could. We played blackjack and we honestly, we like, we wiped the house clean. We really did. I mean, it sounds crazy to say, but it's in the past and true, a trillion dollars. But it's in the past and true. That's exactly right. We made a trillion dollars on Saturday at noon in Caesar's Palace.
Starting point is 00:07:30 Is that the one you're going to go to or you haven't decided? I don't know. We haven't decided. We've been looking up cheapest blackjack tables to buy into. Yeah. I think you gotta go all in on the hundred. So put the hundred down, win that, cash.
Starting point is 00:07:45 Or lose it immediately and that's our whole gambling. Okay. Yeah. So, yeah. So we'll see. But I'm excited. It's a little four-hour drive. It'll be very fun.
Starting point is 00:07:56 Listen to some music. Also, Elizabeth, who's been in New Jersey for about a month, she gets back the day we get back from vegas and so our daughter will be home a family reunited at last her little lil bites brownies in the pantry are looking pretty lonely oh those are so concentrate um so i'm good it can only make me think of one thing at the end of the day it's like everything we're doing is nice, but it can't beat... The brick. The brick, the build, the lifestyle.
Starting point is 00:08:32 To be honest. Lego land. Carlsbad, California. We're talking about, you know, they say Rome wasn't built in a day. Legoland was also not built in a day but it was brick by brick it was brick by brick absolutely jeff have you ever been to legoland i have for the better you have yeah that's great why is that shock have you been no really i have not and i was the one who suggested it was so i thought that you'd been that uh for the better part of my child
Starting point is 00:09:02 that i had a legoland driving school license certificate in my kid wallet that I brought around that didn't have a lot of money in at all. A kid wallet? Brought it to school, though, and I bragged about having a Legoland driver's license. Basically, they teach you how to ride these little go karts. And if you follow the course correctly, you get a you get a driver's license. Did you get is your photo on it it was i don't have it anymore but yeah at the time my photo was on it that's really cute how old were you to be able to go back to school and be like i got my driver's license this would have
Starting point is 00:09:38 been god when do you when do you take the psat is that 10th grade i think so yeah so it would have been it would have been sophomore year so we're like are the rides fun are they lego they're lego yeah are they fun i can't speak to it because i the only part that i remembered was the driver's school i was very seminal for you there's jeffrey before his lego land driver's license and there's jeffrey after um but there was the one other thing that i vividly remember is there's like a legooland driver's license and there's Jeffrey after. But there was the one other thing that I vividly remember is there's like a Lego town. There's like you can walk through and there's a bunch of like things built by, you know, of Legos. And it's at the time it was my favorite toy was like building Lego sets. So it was a fucking awesome. What's your what I guess what what's your lack of experience like with Legoland?
Starting point is 00:10:24 I was never really a Lego kid. I wasn't. I played with dolls. I played with Littlest Pet Shop. I played Game Boy. I played Bratz. I played Barbies. But I was never a Lego girl, really.
Starting point is 00:10:45 I guess you just didn't have the architect's eye. No, I didn't have the architect's eye. I had more of a, I was a storyteller. I really was. So, you know, of course, my littlest pet shops would date each other. There was always the hot one. Is that? Yeah. Sorry. There was always the hot one. Is that?
Starting point is 00:11:05 Yeah. Sorry. There was always the hot one? You're under arrest. But I would be interested in Legoland only to walk around. I think people who can make giant scale Legos in Legoland, I think that's fucking incredible. They're engineers. Yeah, they are engineers.
Starting point is 00:11:26 And so I would go to just walk around the land itself. Yeah. The Lego, it doesn't even have to be Legoland. I would go to walk around land. Jesus Christ. I want to go on a hike. You're a merman. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:42 Do you want to start us off with our first review? I will say too, we were like brainstorming back and forth and then i went to sleep very early last night which is also very unlike me and so we were i was shocked to get a text from you at 8 30 in the morning i wake up at like 8 30 i just don't text anybody till 10 that's like 8 30 to 10 is my um for lack of a better term me time what were you saying oh i was searching in your eyes for validation and acceptance i know but what were you saying before that oh just that we settled on legal land like a couple like four hours ago and then within 10 minutes riley said i have mine and i which i was so shocked because you also, the text right before that was that you wouldn't, you wouldn't get to find them until like noon.
Starting point is 00:12:27 I know. And then you found them within like 30 seconds. Well, I didn't expect to stumble upon these, but they really just made me giggle. But now that I've found it, I'm going to marry it. I'm going to marry these reviews from TripAdvisor. Is that crazy to say? That's, yeah, that's bonkers. Okay.
Starting point is 00:12:44 This first review is from Corey Svisor. Is that crazy to say? Yeah, that's bonkers. Okay. This first review is from Corey S. Salter. No, let's go Samson. Samson went Corey Legoland. He took a slice of Lego bricks and went right back to land. It's from cordy samson um of uh the lego land and carls by california
Starting point is 00:13:10 this is five stars uh there's also a response from lego land of course it's five stars the title is amazing renata is the lego queen and showed us a side of lego we never knew existed could not recommend her tours more 10 out of 10 legoland california response hello cory renata is truly an asset to our team as she truly wants each guest to feel welcome and have a wonderful visit. So? She showed us a side of Lego we didn't dream possible. I mean, God, it's just like when I, you know, kids on my deathbed, thank you so much for, you know, being here. I'm so grateful to have you all as my family.
Starting point is 00:14:03 And I know you asked me, like, Grandpa Jim, Grandpa Jim know, what, what were some of the best times of your life? Of course, Grandpa Jim. Yeah. And I really appreciate you asking me that because when you get to be my age, it means a lot to be able to share stories of what really changed you. And, you know, meeting your grandmother, that was certainly one um being there for for your guy's birth that was huge you know of course that was a life-changing event but i guess above all and don't let don't let your grandmother hear this oh no did you have like a fling long ago as a kid yeah tell us grandpa oh gosh well now i'm blushing i mean it i don't know fling is the right word more than it was um my god sorry it's this it's just hard to talk about um my heart was opened in a way i didn't
Starting point is 00:14:55 think possible i was shown brilliance in the flesh that i still remember to this day i know it's not around anymore but lego land um is a place you think you know what you're you think you know what you're getting into and i took your mom there when she was little we went on a tour and our tour guide renata l she said hey jim would you like to see the real lego land and i said of course So we left my wife and your mother to their own devices. They were getting their licenses and little go-karts. And she opened those doors, all right. What do you, I'm so sorry, what do you mean?
Starting point is 00:15:41 Yeah, Grandpa, what do you mean she opened the, like your ass? I'll get to that. I'll get to that. That was later. That was a little later. Holy shit. Imagine, if you will, we were walking through the park.
Starting point is 00:15:56 She opens some real doors before the ass. She opened the real doors. And it was a real city. It was a real town. And she she said would you believe me if i told you this is all made out of legos and was it i'm so excited enough to get was it legos or did she open the door to the outside and show you california and you believed her at face value we walked along the we walked along the ramp of the carlsbad freeway right and she said everything that like touches is lego and i said oh my god you people are how did you do this you
Starting point is 00:16:37 said oh my god how did you do this she said we're engineers and I blew my mind and I gave my heart to her that day. No woman had ever shown me that level of brilliance before. Grandpa, the Carlsbad Freeway goes right by the beach. That's exactly right. So you saw moving ocean water and thought it was made out of Lego bricks? So you bring me to my next point. We went down to the beach and I waded in the water. The it was made out of lego bricks so you you bring me to my next point we went down to the beach and i i waded in the water the sun was setting i look at renata and she's sitting
Starting point is 00:17:10 on the beach smiling at me shaking her head i shake my head but i said you made all this only the brilliance of god right could could make something with this unbelievable natural splendor i let the water and the sand fall through my fingers and i said lego she she looked at me and she slowly unbuttoned her her blouse and she said lego and then we um we made passionate love that afternoon and i said lego and she took a chunk out of herself and it was a brick and she said lego um so many things that I take issue with. How tall was she? Because you said she took a brick out of her.
Starting point is 00:18:11 And what was already a pretty concerning story about a person telling you the ocean was made out of Legos and you believing them. It now has me worried that it was not a real person. And you just made a, you're holding up your fingers. Charlie, my God. I mean, she was yay high, right? But Charlie, I'm telling you this to share this with you so that one day you can tell all your friends, my grandpa lived a life. He lived, he saw things no one else has seen. I mean, I'm giving you these.
Starting point is 00:18:41 I'm not writing a memoir. You guys are my living memoir. So I want you to, I want you to hold this with you these. I'm not writing a memoir. You guys are my living memoir. So I want you to, I want you to hold this with you forever. You're great. Is this disappointing to you? Your grandfather fought in the war and I think got a purple heart. You were lied to by a brick
Starting point is 00:18:54 and I think you put a Lego in your ass. I don't understand. Yes, I did forget to mention that as she opened the doors, I did, I did put the, the Lego in my ass. You, she opened the doors. I did put the Lego in my ass. You seem disappointed by the story.
Starting point is 00:19:08 I am. I should never have told you this. This is embarrassing. I can't believe I have a grandson who doesn't give a shit about the most beautiful thing I have ever seen created in the flesh. You swam in an ocean with a Lego person, and that's the most beautiful thing you have ever seen created in the flesh. You swam in an ocean with a Lego person. And that's the most beautiful thing you've ever... I'm sorry, but did we sign
Starting point is 00:19:30 the life support thing? Or did you sign it? Because I'd love to know where we stand on that. I'm not signing that shit. Yeah, so you're gonna be alive on a respirator spewing bullshit. I'll go when I let go. Die. I unplug go when I let go. Die.
Starting point is 00:19:45 I unplug. Renato. Renato. I'm coming. Cut to your funeral. I mean, I don't mean this as a compliment. He died the way he lived. You see a little Lego woman come down the aisle.
Starting point is 00:19:58 No fucking way. and we're back and we're brick this is a four-star review from okay asher g asher Asher G My god Alright Asher G This is the most down the middle review I've ever heard Ready? Okay Yes
Starting point is 00:20:40 Four stars We visited where the main park was closed, but they had portions open for Thanksgiving, and the highlight was visiting Miniland. The kids enjoyed it. We were there for two hours, roughly. I mean... Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:02 So, Asher Guh, thanks so much for for meeting with me uh i'm obviously you know the admissions counselor here at elon uh we'd love to hear we loved your application um thank you the only thing that i wanted to know um this is just something that i'm asking everyone that we're interviewing what's something you're the most passionate about in the world god i mean that's that's really that's a great question um i should have i should i i should have prepared for this um no you don't have to prepare just like you know off the top sorry i'm nervous no don't be nervous like you're basically in this is your admission to lose just anything you're the thing you're most passionate about everybody has one i something that i'm, really passionate about is that feeling, you know, that feeling
Starting point is 00:21:50 when you wake up and you get out of bed and you have, you have a glass of water. Oh, that's it. Um, like when you're really thirsty. No, it's like, you know, I'm, it's like when you're sati no it's like you know i'm it's like when you're satiated but it's like oh i know i should if i'm gonna have a coffee i know i should have another glass of water to hydrate my system before before i make some coffee okay um you know that feeling right like i know it i let's i i you said you were nervous i think that maybe that got to you like let's let's just, just any hobby, right?
Starting point is 00:22:25 And anything that's not, you know, drinking water. Oh, I never said drinking water was a hobby. You asked what I was passionate about, but totally hobby, hobby, hobby. My God, I mean, there's so many to choose from, right? It doesn't have to be a hobby. I'm just saying something a little bit more involved and passionate.
Starting point is 00:22:42 Like, it's hard to be passionate about water. Well, you asked. Sorry, it's- You answered it bad like i don't know what else to no absolutely um god some something that really just lights my fire passion that brings me joy that lights me up that that gets me going there you go now you're feeling it oh Oh my God. I feel really excited to answer this one. My God. Okay. You know, when you go through a car wash and it's not the car wash itself, but at the end you're sitting, you're driving
Starting point is 00:23:14 and it's like, you know that my car is clean. Like people are looking at me like I have a clean car. That feels really nice to know that my car has all the dirty stuff off of it. Thanks so much for coming in. Additionally, my other answer is when I kiss. All right. I guess we can hear more about that.
Starting point is 00:23:36 But when you kiss, do you have a girlfriend? I would love to one day. Have you kissed? Well, so I was going to expand on that. Thank you for asking. It's when you, it's like when others kiss, when you kiss. Like, I love, I get the feeling of like, oh man, I would love to do that. It's so nice.
Starting point is 00:23:57 I'm so happy other people get to have that. I had a meeting come up. I had a meeting or something. Well, what are your hobby? I just want to get to know about at least something about you before I go. You just lost admission. I'm so sorry.
Starting point is 00:24:11 Is there anything I could say to change your mind? Well, maybe. What about, I love the feeling of being a fucking man. I love waking up in the morning and knowing that
Starting point is 00:24:21 I'm a rough and tumble guy. I drink my water. I imagine guy. I drink my water. I imagine kissing. I get my car washed. And then I fucking rule the world. That's what gives me energy. That's what gives me... I'm so happy.
Starting point is 00:24:39 Am I in? No. That was a horrible answer. That was very toxic masculinity boiling up. You're yelling at me. I love being sensitive. I don't know how to be. I've been trying to be the perfect kid my whole life,
Starting point is 00:24:55 and now I don't know who I am. That's why I want to go to college to kiss, to have a dirty car, to maybe not drink as much water as I should in the morning. Fine. You're in. I lean in for a kiss.
Starting point is 00:25:11 No. Okay, okay, okay. You gotta know when someone's into you. That's probably the first thing. Like, I can teach you how to kiss, I guess. No, I can't do that. No, that's against a lot of rules. Get out of my office.
Starting point is 00:25:23 I can teach you how to kiss, I guess. Your next review. Okay. This is from Jen H. Jen Harsh. Jen Harsh, one star. The title is traumatizing. We have the same one.
Starting point is 00:25:39 Really? Yeah. It's amazing. Okay. No, no. yeah it's amazing okay no no to start a review with no no no no please be safe and watch your children my son got stung by a okay sorry i also just want to preface this by saying there's no punctuation. None.
Starting point is 00:26:07 It's one run-on sentence. I don't know if their keyboard was broken. No, no. Please be safe and watch your children. My son got stung by a bumblebee. Medic didn't even take him to a private area to be properly examined. The staff did not even offer us ice.
Starting point is 00:26:22 It's been three days and no one has even reached out to us. When I called today, they told me I have to wait to be emailed. My son is traumatized and does not even want to go outside. Also, I explained to the right operator that my son got sting on the ride and they did not even close it off, nor did they get the dead bumblebee out of the attraction. Yeah, that's right. My son had to pull a bumblebee out of his mouth
Starting point is 00:26:45 and step on it. He was still swollen three days later and Legoland could not care less. So disappointing. The situation was handled so poorly. We traveled all the way
Starting point is 00:26:53 from San Francisco. So you ate a bee and you're blaming it on fucking Legoland. And they didn't shut the ride down. It had nothing to do with the ride. He was in the wrong place the wrong moment and A to B.
Starting point is 00:27:11 Excuse me? Yeah. Is this where we lodge complaints? Oh, yes it is. Hello. May I sit? Absolutely you may. Sorry, let me just tidy up my desk a little bit. Hello, how can I help you? You can start by shutting down the Legoland the movie The Ride. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. Was there an accident? There absolutely was.
Starting point is 00:27:31 And you guys, I believe, are liable. If you could give me a detailed account of what went wrong in The Ride, I will be happy to contact maintenance and ask them to shut it down if I deem it necessary. The Ride is the reason why I'm having a rash.
Starting point is 00:27:48 Okay. The ride is the reason you're having a rash. Was the ride overheating? Was that affecting your body at all? I know that sometimes if the ride's on for a long time, it can maybe... No, it wasn't. I was stung.
Starting point is 00:28:04 I was stung by a bee. I was stung by a bee on the ride and so that's your fault you know what i am so terribly sorry that happened to you um the bee is not a part of the attraction um and so then explain to me why it stung me multiple times on the ride i couldn't tell you why that happened. I am very sorry. I've actually never heard of a bee stinging someone multiple times. I've also got a couple of complaints about your food. Because after
Starting point is 00:28:34 the ride, I tried to get myself a Lego ice cream bar. And it really hurt to eat. Was it maybe because you were experiencing swelling from the bee stings? It was. Okay. So, again, I am so terribly sorry.
Starting point is 00:28:48 We actually have a line forming outside. The bee sting, our park is outside, so that is a risk that you are willing to take. You know, bees live outside, and so it just seems like you were wrong place, wrong time, and I'm so sorry about that. By the way. But thank you so much for coming. The little photo booth near the entrance. I want my money back from that photo.
Starting point is 00:29:09 Because when I smiled, all I saw were bee stings on my gums. So the bee stung the inside of your mouth? Yes. My God, that must have been so painful. I'm so sorry to hear that. Well, it was tasty. I mean, it was hurt. I mean, it was, it was, it hurt. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:27 I cannot do anything for you. It seems like you liked eating a bee. And that's probably what was, why it was trying to sting its way out of your mouth as you tried to chew and potentially swallow it. Yes, you're not, you're not shaking your head no. So I'm guessing that's what's happening. This is not a complaint that has anything to do with our park or our management, so I will kindly ask you to leave as, like I said, we have a line forming outside.
Starting point is 00:29:50 I take out a scorpion. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's happening in your office. It's happening in your office. You're liable. You're liable. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:29:57 Put it out. Oh, no. Oh, Jesus. I tried prying it off. Are you okay? We need a medic. Where did you toss it? I grab it again, put it back in.
Starting point is 00:30:12 I haven't made rent in four months. I need cash fast. And I had a friend tell me that if something awful happens to me at an establishment with a lot of money behind them, I can sue. We're Legoland. We're broke. I can't help you. We are situated 30 miles away from Disneyland. You think we're making
Starting point is 00:30:32 any money? Damn it. I got my lips stung by a bee and a scorpion for nothing. Cut to me in a Disneyland complaint office. Knock, knock. Hi. Yeah. I take out a piranha. Give me $25,000 right now or I will tell the world
Starting point is 00:30:48 that this fish bit me on your property. Well played. I'll do $30,000 for that. There's actually, we have a budget for this. You from Legoland? Yeah, we got a code L.
Starting point is 00:31:03 Should we do our last segment? Yes. You from Legoland? Yeah, we got a code L. Should we do our last segment? Yes. This shook me in so long. Wait, what did you say? I can't feel my lungs. You're not supposed to be able to feel your lungs at any given time. Succession Season 3 trailer dropped the other day. And I can't fucking wait for that show to come out.
Starting point is 00:31:59 I'm so excited about Succession Season 3 and Ted Lasso. I mean, my God, I'm spoiled. It's a field year. It's a field year. And it'll yield fear. It will absolutely. Logan Roy will absolutely yield fear. I cannot wait.
Starting point is 00:32:18 The teaser looked incredible. They're all just fucking little monsters who i can't wait to watch oh i'm i am i am ashamed by how much of a high hearing the song gave me like and and seeing that oh god it was really i am happy now um flared jeans hell yeah yeah yeah this was my
Starting point is 00:32:59 staff recommendation for the head gum newsletter this week so if you're not on the head gum newsletter sign up somewhere on head gums website um but flared jeans are back they really are i wore bootleg corduroys to uh a fourth of july barbecue and it was absolutely freeing i mean my everybody knows about my thankles and the thing about flared jeans is that they make my thankles a thing of the past. And so are the jeans. But I do feel like fashion is cyclical and long hair is in.
Starting point is 00:33:36 And now I feel like bootlegs are there to follow. I'm all in. I ordered some flared jeans. They're not exactly the style that I wanted because they have this line down the middle of them that make them look pleated, which I hate. But you know what? You got to start somewhere. And I really scoured Etsy.
Starting point is 00:33:54 You got to start at some flare. Nice. That was so good. I scoured Etsy, and they just don't have shit. It's very hard to find jeans from the 60s and 70s like I want. I am thrilled for you that you have the height to pull off flare jeans. But you wear flare pants and they work. I don't wear flare pants.
Starting point is 00:34:15 You did that one time. I wear wide leg pants. I wear wide leg pants. So I don't wear them that are skinny until they flare out at the bottom. But what about that suit that you have? Those are not flare out at the bottom. But what about that suit that you have? Those are not a flare. Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:29 They're absolutely not flare. Uh, no, it's okay. I, I don't have the height to pull that off because it's like the flare at the bottom shortens the leg. Um,
Starting point is 00:34:41 really for me, for, for a five foot four and a half person um i could be wrong but they do not look good on me they make they i barely have any leg at all and so they make me look like i have even less so um so i'm thrilled for you i will live vicariously through you is that you sent me a photo of pants the other day is that the one that are those the ones that you bought so i'm going all in on flares that's actually the second flare got of many that's great and i told a friend of mine that i'm getting into flares and she said i like straight leg jeans so we'll see how it works out for me but i think you
Starting point is 00:35:22 can pull off flare i did that that uh pandemic at the disco halloween costume and those had flared pants and i just had so much fun wearing them uh and then they're just fun they're just cool wear whatever you like wear whatever makes you feel fucking confident no that's why i gotta fit in a box, my birthday party theme the past, well, couldn't really do one last year, but this past year, this year, and the year before that, my theme had just been wear whatever makes you feel fucking hot.
Starting point is 00:35:55 Like, that's my favorite. It's just like, it's like specifically asking people to be like, wear whatever makes you feel like a fucking gun. Was that the theme of your birthday? Because I just, I wore a pretty down the feel like. Was that the theme of your birthday? Because I just, I wore a pretty down the middle outfit. It was the theme of my birthday. You didn't tell me that.
Starting point is 00:36:11 I absolutely did tell you that. Well, you might've told me, but I didn't know if that was the theme. If that was the theme, I would have worn the sweater that I was going to wear, but didn't because it was very flashy and I didn't want to take away from your night. Listen, Jeff, if you think a sweater can take away from your night listen Jeff if you think a sweater can take away from me being the birthday girl then what the fuck does that say about me
Starting point is 00:36:31 if I I did see the sweater but if I can be upstaged by you in a sweater on my birthday I think anyone would have been upstaged by me and that a sweater on my birthday? I think anyone would have been upstaged by me and that Cardi.
Starting point is 00:36:50 That Cardi G. That Cardi Jeff. That's good. What if I did Vegas for my birthday this year? How would you do it? Well, it would be called VEGF. Let's get that straight. That's not answering my, that doesn't answer my question.
Starting point is 00:37:12 Um, I would just like get, get a suite. I don't know. Cause aren't hotel rooms in Vegas like cheap because they want you to spend more money at the casino? I don't, that's the thing, Jeff. I don't know anything about it. Okay. Well, I'll look into it. Um, if not there, then well, Tahoe.
Starting point is 00:37:29 If not there, then well, somewhere. Then well, Flagstaff. You can follow Riley on Instagram at RileyAnspa on Twitter at RileyCoyote and the show on Instagram at ReviewReview and the show on Reddit are slash ReviewReview. You can follow Jeffrey on Twitter at Riley Coyote and the show on Instagram at Review Review and the show on
Starting point is 00:37:45 Reddit r slash Review Review. You can follow Jeffrey on Instagram at Jeffrey James and on Twitter at JeffBoyRD. Should we thank some cats? Let's do it. Thank you to Aaron Carrico. Aaron, I can tell the future see I knew you'd say that Coogan. New patron I think.
Starting point is 00:38:01 New patron. Unless it just was Aaron before. Anyway, Adam Newushatron. God damn it. Agent Michael somebody once told me the world is going to roll me. Ako and the Key of... Wow. Gee. Alan.
Starting point is 00:38:19 My potty humor isn't crack. Nice. Alex Witt. Anthony Amadeo. Bitch, I'm a Madonna. Bob, use promo code Buell on Manscaped for 20% off. Don't use that. It won't actually do anything.
Starting point is 00:38:35 Brad Hild. Brian Dodd. Chuck. Chase and Bales. Christian Side Hugs for purity. Connor Finnegan. Kerbic Trico smart set wiper blades. Damian Kirk, my all-time least favorite nephew.
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Starting point is 00:39:05 VI podcast. Every week I stare at the profile name box and I freeze. I'm not funny or creative enough to come up with a good name. I don't, and that just cuts off. I don't know. Fancy Octopus. Gabriel Castaneda. Gray Sarpo.
Starting point is 00:39:20 Yeah, I'm married. It must suck to be alone, Jeff. Holy shit. Greg Berg with a bunch of crazy characters. I hope I'm pronouncing it right. Hallie, hashtag I stand with my
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Starting point is 00:40:30 the good things Mr. Tuesday Night can bring. So. Maggie Anderson. Malik. Mark Priest. Matthew Olizawa. Michael Beggle. Nate Bordias.
Starting point is 00:40:46 New page. Nolan Murphy is now Matthew Hasty Murphy Figured I'd take this new name Since Gray isn't using it anymore Signed, well Me Nothing sometimes will be the next host Of the HeadGum Podcast. Like, soon.
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Starting point is 00:41:28 patreon.com forward slash Riley and Jeff if not we'll see you guys next Tuesday I will have won a jackpot Riley will be a millionaire I will I will have counted cards and broken hearts
Starting point is 00:41:43 broken hearts I Broken hearts. Yeah. I will break the hearts of the casino managers at various casinos down the strip. One by one, you keep hitting the jackpot. They're like, we got to get her out of here. It is funny that counting cards is not illegal, but you can get kicked out. That doesn't seem fair. Because that's just playing well.
Starting point is 00:42:04 That's literally just doing well at the game yeah yeah anyway uh arrivederci that was a hit gum original

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