Review Revue - Licorice

Episode Date: March 23, 2021

Reilly and Geoff read reviews about Licorice and discuss eating tires, minotaur men, and bad commercial auditions!Thank you to My Bookie for sponsoring this episode. Follow the link below for more!https://bit.ly/ReviewRevueFollow Reilly and Geoff:IG: @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjamesTwitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardeeAdvertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Get that Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. At participating restaurants for a limited time.

You really want to know how I feel Honestly, it's been a whole fucking hell of a year But at least we've got reviews about the tower I fell Little rascals on the street like we're a pie myself Yo, yo, get that sad stuff out of here, man. Play that good stuff. Play that real good Holy shit. Review, review

Review, review Review, review Review, review Review, review Nanpod, High and mighty, Riley and Jeff. What? NADPOD, Michelle Obama's podcast review, review. A review, review theme song sung in the style of the If I Were You theme song featuring NADPOD and high and mighty.

This is the Daily Review Review. That was great. Shout out to Will Phillips and Jackie Cruz, two VI podcasts who have been to many of VIP's Zoom parties. That was my favorite review.

So that's a little bit of my favorite murder thrown in there. That was fantastic. Little Rascals everywhere. That was marvelous. That was awesome. Thanks for sending that in, guys.

And if you also have, we're still in between theme songs right now. So if you guys also have a theme song that you'd like to submit, email in to reviewreviewshow at gmail.com. We have, I think think four more left so we have four weeks of a safety cushion here but i loved about the beginning of that one they've all been fantastic what i'd love about the beginning of that one is that it felt like a funeral for for you um in a way it felt like the you know the pallbearers are going down the aisle and that's what plays.

Hi, Jeffrey. You what? Now you question it? No, I just, it's what made you start doing that is my question. Because I think I know what your reaction was gonna be and it's the same every time. Let me think of one then. And spa? It's the same every time. Let me think of one then. Anspa?

God. So like imagine I do that like seven weeks in a row. Right? Anspa? I hate that. The voice is like if you're on paint, like Microsoft's paint. It's like, uh-oh. Oops.

Oh, no. It's clippy. It's the fucking paper clip that pops up. And spot. That's horrible. It's if Jabba the Hutt could speak English. Ba-da-ba-ba-da-ba. And spot.

Oh, God. What's new with you? We're back again after after a bonus friday episode we will have had into the mist yeah by this time with jorma rockefeller no way no relation to the actual rockefellers no relation um but jorma rockefeller matchmaker of the stars and jeff we haven't obviously done it is thursday march 18th yeah the show is tomorrow so we haven't done it but how do you think it will have gone i think it it's not going march 18th yeah the show is tomorrow so we haven't done it but how do you think it will have gone i think it it's not going to be called into the mist anymore it's going to be into the tryst because i took what was called by the chicago tribune as the

best way to spend a friday night and i soiled it i froze i didn't know how to be i didn't know what was there for me so you're downplaying it right now so that when tomorrow is like a success you're gonna be like oh i guess i guess it went well and you wish it was that i truly think that i'm now getting in this mind state where it's like i'm gonna sabotage myself because i think i'm gonna do so poorly and then the prophecy will be fulfilled. The prophecy? Like your... Got it. What about your... Same thing.

Into the mist. We had a Zoom party on Saturday. It was a big weekend for us, actually. Big weekend. Huge. Nothing much new. Nothing much new at all. I wish I had more to report.

I can't wait until life is back to normal and we can actually be like, oh, I did this interesting thing this weekend. I know. I know. And we're almost there. We're almost there. That's what you sound like.

It just is. It really just is. Holy shit. Oh, last night, I was woken up in the middle of the night. I heard a sound and it was like, and it was really weird and it woke me up. You walk out, Elizabeth is playing the didgeridoo. What the fuck?

I couldn't sleep. She doesn't say anything. She just keeps doing it. So in my half awake half asleep the first thought i had was oh god i don't want to be abducted by aliens and i'm like gripping the bed being like please no i don't like not now i'm too tired i'll just make it on a Friday, man. That's literally what I thought. I'm like, I have too much work to do.

My friend just told me a story this morning about how someone broke into her house recently. Oh my God. Didn't take anything. Didn't, and this is not my story to tell, so I won't go into detail, but basically, yeah. Were they home? Yeah, this was like middle of the night somebody like broke in like just just

terrify them i guess like it was as a prank didn't take anything didn't say anything didn't say anything which is the weirdest fucking part yeah i'm still thinking about horrifying yeah great well now when i hear that sound again i'll know what's happening yeah yeah yeah this this prankster this this this kevin mccallister type is running around willy-nilly hither than thither all throughout los angeles county i don't think so but we're not talking about abductions we're talking about something even worse even worse even more alien to me even more alien than an abduction we're talking licorice licorice jeff licorice you bitch i took this in the direction of black licorice like traditional licorice in a way um red licorice like twizzlers and red vines they're all right they're always

the snack that's just in an office break room that you end up having too many of. Yeah. It's always the big thing of Red Vines, like that big kind of cylinder of stale Red Vines. But I don't enjoy them. I'll take it, but I don't like it. No, no, no. I'll take it. Red Vines, because I don't like Twizzlers.

Twizzlers are way too sweet for me. Yeah. I like a Red Vine. It's fine. Like, I told Elizabeth that I prefer... That's exactly why people got it. Red vines is that food that's like, I have nothing better to do,

so I guess I'll eat a red vine. Yeah. Like, what else am I doing? That's a corner of the market. It is. There's a reason why they don't have commercials, Riley. It's plastic, but I'll eat it. So is my brain.

Lots for mine. I don't care. But I think black licorice, like original licorice, I think it is absolutely revolting. I think it is just disgusting. There's no two ways about it. I think it's bad. And if you like it, you're bad. Yeah. And yeah, it's like everyone's i think it's bad and if you like it you're bad you're bad yeah um and yeah it's like everyone's entitled to their own opinion everyone has different tastes everyone

has different palates um and taste is subjective but no you are objectively terrible and you live bad so basically not only are you bad but it's like you are what you eat you are what you do in this case it's both you are what you eat your liquor red black licorice bad so that means you're bad and then what you do even if it's positive to the world is bad so how would you describe the taste of black licorice how would you describe the taste anise okay star anise right and uh it tastes like oil it's not a nicey that's good come on what about you is it yeah it's it's somehow too sweet it's too intense it's just so overwhelming yeah it's really it's like it it's very fragrant it's like a too sweet perfume that it's like you take a little bit of a bite and it's really it's like it it's very fragrant it's like a too sweet perfume that it's like you take a little bit of a bite and it's just it's really overwhelming there's this greek um drink

called uozo my friend harry was just telling me about this it's and it tastes it is licorice like it tastes the flavor is licorice and um i've had it before i just it's not for me i did learn recently i saw clips that like everyone on the set of mamma mia that they were just all blasted on wozo the whole time and i think that's incredible i was running through the grease with my wozo do you want to kick us off with your first review all right this is a two-star review from denise no last name you want to give her last name richards denise richards of rj's licorice soft eating natural black licorice two stars two stars two stars yeah like you and i

the title is one big clump which is a great band name uh i purchased two packages and both came stuck together in one big clump also the black licorice flavor was not very prominent. So she ate a tire. Right? Like, this wasn't black licorice. It all came together in one cylindrical fucking wheel. And the flavor was rubber. The flavor was... I don't want to say it was as much licorice as it was Goodyear.

I couldn't really get it out of my mouth. Sorry, again, you called customer service we want to help you out rj's licorice customer service you're saying that it was all stuck together do you think maybe heat kind of melded it together was it a bunch of strands oh gosh i mean it certainly could have been heat um there were strands like kind of poking out of the ends of it all the way around okay um but there was it was like somehow it came together there was a big hole in the middle which i felt like if it was heat it would have all kind of just been like one big ball but it wasn't that and it tasted of rubber yeah okay i'm taking i'm looking at my nose here i don't want to

accuse you of anything or you know say anything i did pull up your tracking information and that package has not gotten to you yet i'm wondering did you make any other purchases recently that might have come in the mail that might have maybe looked like licorice well no it couldn't have been like a new phone case couldn't have been that yeah probably not let me see i ordered some groceries that came but i didn't order any candy in there i ordered this specific from you from your website because you're guys you're the guys who do it best we really do do. Thank you for saying that. And, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

Well, obviously couldn't have been that. So we don't have to even talk about that one. Well, what was it? Just to be safe. Oh, it's so silly. I went on a camping trip with a girlfriend of mine, and we went to the desert, and my tire popped going in. We ran over a really sharp rock,

and so I had to get that fixed or a new tire. But it might have been uh gosh that well that's weird i haven't bought anything else in the last couple weeks it was the tire um i think you ate bf goodrich in a way or good year well you don't have to talk about your own product like that like i'm calling you telling you that it tastes a certain way but i don't want you like you know getting upset with yourself i'm not upset with myself like sometimes you just have a bad batch no no the batch is great and it hasn't gotten to you yet and you'll see how good it is when it comes i really fear that you should get to some kind of er at the very least and at the most in or when did you consume

this licorice in air quotes the licorice that you sent to me, I consumed it about an hour ago. Can I call you an ambulance? No, my name is Denise. You can't call me an ambulance. My name is Denise. Cut to her in the ER. So we're going to need to perform emergency surgery. You will die in the next 45 minutes. Okay, no, I really, guys, I don't want to make this a big deal.

I don't want you to embarrass this licorice company. Sometimes they just don't hit it on the mark. And I don't want this to be a whole press thing. It's not going to hit the press. And if it does, the licorice will not be included in the articles. You will die in the next 45 minutes is what I'm telling you. Yeah, we promise. I promise you.

I need to save your life. Can I get that in writing? I need to save your life. I just really, I would hate for them to be mad at me. She's good to go. She's good to go. I'm waking up. They have bits

of the tire on like a little table next to me hey how are you feeling oh you brought some snacks oh the licorice was finally delivered she wakes up again all right there's nothing even resembling licorice in the room that was was a pretty potent batch, huh? That was another tire. There's like a little jar of like decorative marbles next to her. I just want you to take it easy. I just want you to hydrate. Jelly beans!

No, no, no, no, no! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! All right. Should we take a break? Give me a break. Give me a break. Break me off a piece of that Goodyear tire. Marty.

And we're back. And we're back. we're back okay here we go this is five stars for wiley wallaby australian gourmet licorice um so it's a bag of black licorice um it's five stars um give this person a name because they don't really have a... Let's go. I just tweeted this. So here's a little plug for my Twitter. Michael Jordan Almond. Michael Jordan Almond.

Five stars. And the title is, We could easily use 10 pounds at a time. I got these for my husband and he went nuts over it. He ran through a whole bag in one day. Definitely on my order more list. I wish they offered bigger sizes or in bulk prices. At the rate my husband ate these,

we could easily use 10 pounds at a time and then a colon parentheses smiley face. Oh my God. I don't know why the image I have when I read this was like this tiny, timid woman and like a Greek mythological beast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the little smiley face of like,

we need more to satisfy the hunger. Therapist takes his glasses off. Look, Rachel, you've been coming here. Satisfy the hunger. Therapist takes his glasses off. Look, Rachel, you've been coming here. We've been doing work for over a year now. And you know that I care about you and that I want to see you continue to make great progress like you have. Thank you, Dr. Rich. That means a lot.

My fear is that your husband is half man, half beast. Okay. Dr. Rich, listen. husband is half man half beast okay um dr rich listen yeah he grew out his beard right it's really long but he's a little sensitive about it and i know he's not here but it's just like i feel weird going home like of us talking about behind his back about that kind of thing no and again and you know complete confidentiality nothing leaves this room it's not the beard you've described his body to me in certain ways and i think he might be some kind of cerberus a three-headed beast of some kind because you said that you've kissed him on three each pair of his lips before you went to bed yeah well whenever we go to sleep i do it's it's kiss kiss kiss time so i give kiss and then i do the second head and i do kiss and i do the third head and i do kiss and you don't mean like you're not being sexually like

no i'm not no dr rich no i'm talking about the three faces and you don't mean gemini like he you know the two heads like and then you're kind of well you know he can be a little he can be a little two-faced i'll give him that but i But I love him. He's my big guy. And I wrote that because you said two-faced. That's not the first time you've mentioned that. I do want to come back to that another time. Right now, I'm focused solely on the physics of it all. You said that he touched something and it turned to stone.

Well, I know that we adopted a dog a couple months ago. Little Nemo. And Nemo was just such, it was just like the sweetest little thing um and i carried him around with me everywhere it was really good for me um robert did pet him yes and yeah he he did crumble he did crumble uh that very day crumble i'm i'm really trying to understand just the dog ended up you know being a little like whimpering kind of like became small near your husband um became small in that like pebbles are small um whimpering in that i was crying but listen i don't want any of this i don't

again it's yeah all marriages have their issues right. We all have things we need to work out. And sure, you know, and I have my own issues too. That's why I'm here. I'm not perfect either. I know. And we've talked about your, you know, working through some of your insecurities or anxieties. You're doing a great job at that.

I fear that your husband's rump is that of a horse, that he's a minotaur creature with a Medusa hair and three heads from how you've described him because you said that his he wakes you up in the middle of the night but he's still asleep which a lot of couples you know sharing the bed is a big issue with you it was that a snake had kind of nabbed your ear and that snake was attached to his hair yeah so at first i thought it was like you know him trying to get a little cheeky. Oh, yeah. A little nibble on the ear. And so I swatted away.

I said, Robert, stop it. Come on. You know, like I have to get up early. And I did turn around and it was a serpent and it was attached to his head. And as soon as I kind of tried to shift away, the horse hoof did kick me in the ass. And so that was what actually caused me to fall out of bed, not the snake. I just want to be clear that it was like, and that was just his response to me moving.

It's like, you never want to get behind a horse because they will kick you. My husband is a man, horse, beast. What was the second two you said? Cut to her at brunch. Everybody's talking like, oh my God, Rachel, tell us about his dick oh my god you guys said it was a horse cock how big was it well um have you ever seen a horse yeah then

you've seen it what i don't know what i mean that's literally are you okay you've hardly touched your huevos rancheros i feel uncomfortable discussing the intimate life between me and my husband in this way is it because we just really want to get down to this because your therapist did call us is it because you're just like don't want to share personal info about his body because that makes sense or is it because he's half man half some kind of greek mythological animal when you put those options out like that it's pretty clear so what do you think second one i don't think so she gets up in a huff. How are we in the wrong? My husband.

I'm like, well, he's picking you up any second. What car does he drive? Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck. Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck. All right. That's one of my favorite bits we've ever done. All right. This is a five-star review from JLP.

Those are the initials. Do you want to give them a full name? J. J. J. This is you on the first page of your feature trying to write a script. Just placeholder name. Just give him a name.

You can change it later. Come on. Jay Lee, please. Shout out to Jay Lee. All right. Five stars from Jay Lee, please. This is just Red Vines Black Licorice. Red Vines Black Licorice has been one of my favorite candies my whole life.

Fresh as rain, soft and delicious. I wholeheartedly recommend this brand of licorice and this company for licorice supplies. It's a great snack and is considered a staple in my house. I believe licorice is good for medicinal purposes as well. Low fat and keeps me regular. Gotta keep a stash on hand in the cupboard for any time the licorice herbs hits me. Red vines, black licorice is the best. Yum.

And there's no space in between those last words. Fresh as rain. Soft and delicious. Keeps me regular. You get a call from your agent. You're being sent in for this commercial audition and all you have is the copy and you're like oh they'll tell you more about it when you get there um hello thank you so much oh yeah yeah don't worry about it it's super easy they just sent over this copy so get acquainted with it and you can ask more about the product once you're in the room all right cut to the office hey hey. Hey. Thanks so much for having me. Trevor, thank you so much for coming in today. Of course.

So I think we should just get right to it. How do you feel? I feel great. Unless you have any questions. I don't have any questions. Well, I guess I have one question. I kind of made some changes to the script. Oh, okay. Do you mind if I do my take first?

I think you guys are going to really like it. Sure, okay. We like the confidence. Yeah, go for it. All right. And whenever you're ready. Black licorice. Fresh as rain. soft and delicious i wholeheartedly recommend this brand to you who's listening and yes i mean you

eat or chew this candy for you it's also good if you're backed up i'm talking constipation all right trevor we're gonna stop you right there okay um wow wow you spent some time on this huh yeah i have a couple versions do you mind if i do the second one actually we have a couple people still waiting so that was great we'll keep that as a take for sure and so let's have you just just just do the copy that we sent you oh just do the copy you know the one that's like, Red Vines Black Licorice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, you know,

it's the best tasting candy this side of the equator. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, sorry. It's okay. Take your time. Sorry, I cough when I get inauthentic. Oh.

All right, here we go. Red Vines Black Licorice. It's the best candy on the West Coast, and people seem to love it. I'm sorry. That didn't feel good. It didn't feel good to us either. I kind of want to do it on my terms or no terms. Like, that's kind of how I act in my life.

Do you mind if I do the second one? Could you, for us, just so we have something to send, could you just try that again, but like, try it again? That was me trying it. Like, I'm not going to do that. I'm so sorry, but I. Could you just try that again, but like try it again? That was me trying it. Like, I'm not going to do that. I'm so sorry, but I'm not going to do that again. I can do my second take,

which I think you guys are going to really love. What will be, I think it's pretty clear. I think it's a happy middle ground between what you want and what I want. Okay, just, yeah, yeah. I feel like it'll be easier if you, yeah, read it.

Red Vines Black Licorice. Fresh as rain, soft and delicious. Have you ever had a candy so good that you wanted to buy a ton of it at once? I have. And that was because I tried Red Vines Black Licorice. You can take it from me. Roger. Black Licorice from Red Vines is the only product you'll ever need to buy.

And I mean that. No Gas-X, no Pepto-Bismol. This thing keeps me regular regular i've tried it many a time and it really gets me going gas station pumps no need just have black licorice you won't need to go anywhere i'm gonna make a deal with you trevor a deal memo I got it I can't believe I'm saying this everything up until you talking about how our product keeps you regular yeah was amazing okay so everything after that is completely not usable all right we'd like to buy the rights to that copy okay but unfortunately you will not be a part of it it's no deal because it has to be on my terms.

That's the whole thing about me. And I said that already. So the fact that you even brought that up, I think we're done here, actually. Thanks so much for having me. Okay. Fine. Then we'll use you. But only the first half.

Please do not talk about how regular you are on the day. All right. Okay? Yep. You want me to do it then? Just get it clean? Get it clean. All right.

Red Vines Black Licorice. Fresh as rain soft and delicious the only candy you'll ever need on the west coast or any other coast for that matter i've had candies a lot in my life but the only one that's ever meant a damn to me was red vine black licorice buy it or else in large quantities no less also and then this one's just like a pickup from the last one. You don't have to use this one in this take. It's like medicine that gets your GI tract in check.

All right. Thank you so much, Trevor. Thank you so much. All right. Thanks so much. Buy it or else. It's also not the same coffee. You changed it.

Don't say get it clean if you're going to do an entirely new option. Gas pumps, no need. Because you don't need to go anywhere. All right, do you want to do your last review? Here we go. This is for chocolate Twizzlers. What's that? It's Hershey's chocolate flavored Twizzlers.

I really don't think so. I don't think it is. Really? Artificial chocolate is the worst. I think that's foul to me. Artemis or otherwise. Yeah. Okay.

It's two stars from Amazon customer. So makeup initials for AC or makeup names for AC. Let's go Adelpho Cesaria. Adelpho Cesaria. Two stars. The title is I Should Have Listened. Other reviews have mentioned it, but I refuse

to believe. I am unhappy with Amazon for leaving the image up for the old version of this product. Back then, these things were wonderful. This new version, boasting quote-unquote real Hershey's chocolate, has a taste pretty similar to the old style. The texture and density are very different. They are soft, limp, and a little spongy. If you close your eyes and chew fast and hard, you can pretend it's the good kind i imagine just this is this might be too sad or too dark but

like you're in high school and it's like you really want to date like the popular kid but like it's like it's like well they'd never they'd never date me but then there's like you so you go on a date with like the kind of like in the movie it's like well this is the person you should be with but then it's just like you're looking across the table and like the popular kids are like on a date and you're with like like a pretty nice cool person it's like so uh jason will you uh you play the cello yeah yeah um i'm actually really into it I kind of like there was a point where it stopped being this thing that I just did as an extracurricular to

like something I'm actually really passionate about oh man that's cool you know uh do you know god sorry do you know Jeremy on the football team he's the quarterback I mean everyone knows Jeremy how could you not know Jeremy right oh you know Jeremy I don't really know him that well um well he's over there ah yeah he's still yeah he's sitting with Kylie um no but Jeremy like I don't know if it's like just speaking of hobbies and like passions Jeremy's like really passionate about um about football god it's sorry it's like I spend so much time learning about football to talk to Jeremy but I guess I could if we just get through like tell me about the cello really quick and then I can and we can talk about it that's okay

I mean I like football too um what did you learn about football whoa what did I I mean god it's like well I know Jeremy's number is 27 and I know that he's so you didn't even mean the NFL or college football you meant just Jeremy I did but also I could learn i can i can learn to love you is what i'm saying we don't we don't have to go to like the prom like i we don't have to do this i can find somebody else there was actually somebody i turned down because i really like you man that's really sweet uh no i i want to go i want to go and so when we dance i can just kind of like we can slow dance i can slow dance your perfume is like really strong what's why'd you choose to wear that i don't mean to be rude

it's just like oh this one yeah well it's i saw kylie putting it on at her locker the other day yeah and so i got it but knowing that like i'm not gonna be sitting with jeremy tonight i kind of just sprayed it a little extra so it's like like a cartoon he would kind of catch the waft on the air and be like oh who's that but and you're not worried that he is just gonna think it's kylie because she is sitting next to him wearing the exact same perfume i didn't think about but you know what no again i'm not thinking about them. Tonight is about, it's about us. It's about us. Jeremy is nothing to me anymore.

He never has been. And so what if we kissed with our eyes closed right now? Why did you say with our eyes closed? Because I feel like that's kind of like the, when you do go in for a kiss, you generally close your eyes. And if you had just said, why don't we kiss, you could have gotten what you wanted

and it wouldn't have hurt my feelings. But now I know that you're just gonna why don't we kiss you could have gotten what you wanted and it wouldn't have hurt my feelings but now i know that you're just going to be thinking about jeremy why what no i want to i want to kiss you i want to kiss you i want to kiss you i think maybe we shouldn't kiss right now i'm like feeling a little uncomfortable oh is you don't want to kiss me i do not like this um it just doesn't sound like, like you don't sound like yourself. Are you sure you're okay? Because like we're friends, we've been friends for a while

through a lot of our shared interests. You know, we were in science lab together. I know your family pretty well. It's just like, you've kind of recently, this our junior year here, become obsessed with Jeremy and kind of changed. But I've always had a secret crush on you, if I'm being honest.

But that's because I know the real you and I like you for you not for the perfume that you wear or trying to be like kylie i don't know i think you're i think you're more beautiful than kylie that's really nice but like can i be honest did you even hear what i just said that's really like that's kind of basic shit to say like jeremy would never say that jeremy wants me to not be me he wants me to be different and i think that's hot so you telling me that like you like me for me and you think i'm beautiful like that it's like god it's like yours really nice but it's like that's so like of course so, like, of course you'd say that. Of course you'd say that. I'm going to go.

I hope you find what you're looking for. No, no, no, don't go. I really do. Don't go. Don't go. Liza, can we talk? I'm going to go. Don't go. I'm going to take her to the prom.

No. We see you're just left at this lunch table all alone. Another really handsome guy sits down hey how's it going hey wanna kiss sure can we keep our eyes open can I well maybe let's see can I call you Jeremy yeah snips

yeah I've decided yeah uh should we do our last segment yes spin drift Oh! Spin drift. Yeah, man. Yeah. Yeah. What's your favorite flavor? Raspberry lime. Raspberry lime, mostly.

It happens to be better than LaCroix, in my humble opinion, in my honorable opinion. I couldn't agree more. It's made with, like, it's just real juice and sparkling water. And I think even LaCroix, I mean, I have one right here. It says like natural flavors, but that could be kind of anything. But it's my new thing. I'm, I'm, I'm really into it. I think it's a nice sub for like a beer. If you don't want to have a beer or if you're, you know, like I've read that when in the process of being vaccinated, you shouldn't really drink alcohol if you can help it to boost your immune system. So stocking up on Spindrift. Stocking it up. Stocking it up.

I like the lemon one. Stock me up a piece of that Spindrift can. I like the lemon one. Lemon's also good. When I went to school in Boston, there was a pizza place called Otto's. That was a mechanic. You drank oil. I did drink oil but then when I realized it was oil I'm like, ooh give me some of that Spindrift stuff

and I would go to the pizza place across the street and I would get a slice of pizza and then they had Spindrift and I would get pizza, a little bit of salad and some of the lemon Spindrift and it was really like, that's good shit. I gotta be honest, it's good shit. Spindrift, I dig. and it was really like that's good shit yeah i gotta be honest it's good shit um it's been drift i dig what about you what's been shaking you

fuck i thought i had one um the other day when i was procrastinating doing work um so i love i love cirque de soleil i really love it i think it's incredible i think what they do is amazing and we should go to vegas yeah we should yeah um that was a long pause so i know we're not gonna go i know we will i i found this doc on youtube okay here's how this happened because i the the album for the show oh by i think the music is beautiful and so sometimes i listen to that while i do work yeah and then i put i found on spotify there was like a search to lay playlist i'm like oh hell yeah and then i put i found on spotify there was like a search to lay playlist i'm like oh hell yeah and then there was one show called ka that i haven't seen and i'm like oh i want to see like a trailer for that show like of course you know now i'm just like procrastinating i'm like let me go

down a youtube rabbit hole yeah and then that led me to a 60 minute or not 60 minute no it was like it was like a it was like a full documentary that was made like 10 years ago about the audition process of getting into a Cirque troop. Yeah. And of course I watched the whole thing. And cause it, it, it went from like the athletes to clowns,

to dancers, to, and then they have this thing of just like, quote unquote, open sport. So people come and like do parkour. They do like jujitsu. They do like all these things with different kinds of knives, like anything that can't

be classified into like acrobatics or clowning or dance or music or anything. You go for that. Yeah. And it it's just mind blowing. And then it followed like these three people who were athletes. And then it's like, you go through rounds and rounds and rounds of auditions and callbacks. And then you gets down to like 20 people. And then you go and you're still not accepted yet. You still haven't got a contract yet. But you go to the headquarters and you do a six week training program with them.

And then you do a show like a like a kind of like showcase of everything. All these new things that you've learned. And then you maybe get a contract in the future. And then even for like clowning stuff, it's like you're not auditioning for them to be like, oh, and now you're cast in this show. You're going to then be get like put on their official list of like one day when we need a clown like you, we'll call you. Wow. And like that's, it's crazy to me. That's insane.

But there was this, because the clowning is the stuff I'm most interested in. And I think something, clowns and Cirque are just fucking awesome. But there was, it was going through all these various clowns. I think like the auditions were in Montreal and there was this duo and they're just a comedy duo and they were scouted from the Montreal fringe

festival or Montreal or Toronto. I forget which one. Yeah. And like, they aren't clowns. They're just like this comedy duo. They're like, they're really funny.

We, I bet they have a good dynamic. We should bring them in to audition together.'s cool and i was watching it like and i was just imagining and then like ultimately one of them so out of like you know the hundreds of people who came to audition that day like five people got put on this list yeah and out of this duo one of the two guys was put on the list and the other one was not. Drama. But I just imagined if like someone from Cirque du Soleil saw us

do a show and they're like, well now that's interesting. You know that? Well now we gotta see them. It's us doing the fucking HeadGum Live at Lyric show. Some bullshit PowerPoint. Well now this is Cirque. Well that well that's circ at the very least it's

just so lay it's of the sun so that's so funny you and i are gonna be i wonder if they get paid well i doubt it i doubt they get paid well i don't know is it equity sorry is it i would imagine i would imagine that cirque du Soleil is equity. All right, all right, all right. Big leagues, big leagues. Well, now I'm interested. Now I'm interested. Oh, we should say that you can follow Riley on Instagram,

at Riley and Spa, on Twitter, at Riley Coyote, the show on Instagram, at Review Review, the show on Twitter, at Review Review Show, and the subreddit, r slash Review Review. And you can follow Mefri on Instagram, at Jeffrey James, and on Twitter, at don't fuck it's not that and on twitter at jeff boyard um let's thank some vi podcasts thank you to ah brendan metz aaron carrico adam shea agent michael scarn a co uh alex watts alex wit Agent Michael Scarn. Ako. Alex Watts. Alex Witt. Alton Brickholder. Alvar Wallstrom. God, I butchered it.

Alvar Wallstrom Lindell. Anthony Amadeo. Ari Rubin. Ari lives so close to me in LA. I don't mean to know that I know where he lives, but I sent him a hoodie and he lives so close to me. I don't mean that I don't know. Okay, here we go. Aus Tongue Twister.

Pad Kid Poured Curd Pulled Cod. Christ. Bagadoo. Bob Buell. Brad Hild. Brandon Raison. Brian Dobb. Brownlee's Druthers.

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Katie Ross. Kevin Sunt. Kinsey. I'm so sorry. I'm going to butcher this. Kinsey. O's. OAS.

WAS. OAS. OAS. Please DM us. I i'm so so sorry for butchering that but welcome a new vi podcast kirwin kobe holus lauren malang malik mark priest back 80 matthew lizama michael roland mikey mike and the funky bunch is that new Is that new? He's new. Oh, welcome. I think. Much to my sugar and. Nate Porteous. Nikolaj Viergaard.

God, Nolan Murphy got the first dose of the Waxy Vaxy. Hey, Nolan, too bad there's no vaccine for unemployment, you loser. So did you get it or not? I can't tell from this. I'd love to know. P. Phoenix McVernon. Sabrina.

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Xander Madsen and Yaro Bouchard so if you guys would also like access to comedy sketches VIP Zoom parties Q&A live streams etc.

other bonus content as well as exclusive merch you can subscribe at patreon.com forward slash Riley and Jeff. Thank you guys so much for listening to the show this week.

Thank you so much. We had a ball. And if you didn't catch last week's bonus Friday episode, go check that out. This was one of my favorite episodes. This was fun. And if you want to come see this coming Friday, the 26th, is our last show of march for into the mist and we'll be off on the second um so if you want to come come do that come check it out if you haven't been we got new rooms um so into the mist.net slash tickets for tickets uh in the meantime we'll

see you guys again next week arrivederci that was a hit gum original