Review Revue - Margaritavilles (w/ Georges Saba!)

Episode Date: September 29, 2020

Comedian/roommate Georges Saba joins Reilly and Geoff to read reviews about Jimmy Buffett's Margaritavilles and to discuss Kenyan food, hot astronauts, and murder mysteries!Listen to Wild Wild Tech!Follow Georges, Reilly, and Geoff:IG: @secretgeorgessaba, @reillyanspaugh, & @iamgeoffreyjamesTwitter: @georgessaba, @reilecoyote, & @dontplaynojamesAdvertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Get that Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. At participating restaurants for a limited time. Peter George Sava, dude.

That's me. Little boy George. That's a really fun theme song you guys have. Do you pay the Beatles estate? Sorry, do you think mccartney is dead he did a little bit a little bit he did aren't there other songs about it what like you play that like the ball is dead yeah paul's dead i saw paul in concert last summer with you wait you and i saw paul m I saw Paul in concert last summer with you.

Wait, you and I saw Paul McCartney in concert? No, it was with my ex-girlfriend, but it just is a good story and good for the bit. I'll cut this all out, but just laugh like you were at the concert with me. Oh my God, keep this in, keep this in. Wow. No, we don't pay anyone.

I did see a comment on the subreddit today asking about how can they get away with this? I think it's a short enough clip and it falls under parody law because we sing over it we sing over it we it's in audible to be sure and it's on audible and you can find our show on audible.com uh we just left head gum we are now with audible george saba man george i just want you to say to know that like when you guys were singing maybe you sang like this parody version i sang the real lyrics so i think you will uh you know the real lyrics audio we'll cut his on either yeah isn't it for you yeah and i'll cut your audio because we will be in hot water. George, I think you're the most requested guest

and the unrequited love of the show. That can't be true. It is. I'm flattered. I appreciate that. You are the most requested guest. That's astonishing. That gives me a lot. You should have told me that after. It gives you a lot of pause. Is that what you're going to say? It gives me

a lot of pressure. Oh, yeah. Pressure. George is the most renowned improviser this side of the mississippi it's like that's not true like i love george and he's really funny but that's not true george no but it's like i think that's why he's the most requested because it's like george is the funniest person i've ever met ever well he's one of the funniest people i know but i wouldn't say he's the most renowned west of the mississippi so that includes port, Austin, Los Angeles. Colorado, big improv scene there. Yeah, Telluride.

Guys, even Colorado. It even includes Colorado. George, can you say, this is George Saba, and you're listening to Review Review live, coming at you from Jeffrey James' empty bedroom. This is George Saba. You're listening to Review Review, coming at you live from Jeffrey James' empty bedroom this is george saba you're listening to review review coming at you live from jeffrey james's empty bedroom george how have you been i haven't seen you in i know since march 6th i think i know in person yeah last i saw jeffrey you were dropping off a box of uh uncooked meat at my house

uh before you fled. And then Riley, I don't think I've seen. I haven't seen you in person. I haven't seen you in person in a while. I think since the last year's HeadGum Live. Am I wrong with that? No, you know what? I would have seen you at HeadGum birthday party. That was last August.

Holy shit. It had to have been more reason than that. No, it was at the HeadGum Live in December for sure. Because you did a bit. You did a segment, right? Yes, I came out. I hosted the dating show. That's right. My god. It has been a very long time.

I'm very happy to see you, George. It's nice to see you too. What's that little post-it note on your wall? You have to take it down, Riley. I never will. We have had this question asked on your wall. You have to take it down, Riley. I never will. We have had this question asked on multiple episodes. The first time was with Hey Riddle Riddle in the middle of July.

In which case, don't tell me. What do you think it says? This should be a new segment. What do you think the one post-it wall on my white walls? Get some sleep. It's not where you'd instinctually look. Like, if you're getting out of bed

to remind yourself of anything, you're probably looking the opposite direction. Absolutely. George, how has your quarantine been? Would you like to... I mean, everybody knows who you... You've been cooking a lot. George always cooks.

When I used to live with George in Los Feliz, he'd come home to the smells of sage and brown butter. And did I mention sautéed onions? Yeah, I cooked a lot all the time. I know, but I guess I'm seeing more pictures of

it now. Oh yeah, I used to never tell anybody. And then in quarantine, I was like, this is all I do. I have no means of creativity other than to tell people I do this. So yeah, I cook a lot. Can I jump to the plugs? Should I plug mine? Yes, no, plug now. Yeah, please. Secret George Saba. But secret is spelled S-E-A-T-Cret George, G-E-O-R-G-E-S-S-A-B-A. I fully thought it was secret George Saba.

No. Why? Why would that be good for food? And it's a play on, if you don't already follow my regular Insta, secret, spelled normal way secret, George Saba, G-O-R-G-S-S-A-B-A. Spelled normal way secret. Spelled normal way secret. Do you want to catch people up to speed on what you've done since, let's say, 2017,

when you were most active within the HeadGum community? Within the HeadGum community um let's see i've uh hopped around from different entertainment industry jobs from uh like working at comedy central and doing uh i i currently work for a company that i can't hyper disclose a lot of what I do. Well, you can talk about the series. I actually cannot. Okay. You have to bleep that out.

No, I'll bleep that out for sure. I just was wondering if maybe you could talk with it, with some liberty, if at all. I can't talk much about that at all. We'll move on. I'll bleep it or I'll cut it out. We'll bleep, it'll be fine. That I, like, that's the thing about what I do now.

I just can't talk a ton about it, especially on a podcast that gets a pretty wide list. It's not that big. It's just that they will take it and post about it everywhere. Yes, that's it. Yeah, it's a rabid fandom, I should say. And I think she'd be fierce. What is your favorite dish you've made so far in quarantine last thing i made uh was i made jollof rice uh which is like a nigerian dish so as of late i've been trying to like explore like

african and jamaican cuisine just like black cuisine and sort of in light of like um you know uh the uh uprising the current civil rights movement we are living the current civil rights movement existing and yeah it's recently been the jollof rice and the uh with that it was a like a nigerian red stew chicken uh when the stew the sauce is called obayata which if everyone wants a brief food uh education is like the mother sauce of nigeria, comparable to like a bechamel in France. I could talk about this for 30 years. It's not funny. That's the thing. That's the thing about my interest in food is like, there's nothing about food that's remotely funny to me. It's like very serious and sciencey. Like, I love that. I think that's awesome. Jeff was telling me about a thing he thinks it's like really, really nerdy and lame. But like, I don't think that's awesome. Jeff was telling me about how he thinks it's really, really nerdy and lame,

but I don't think that's true. I think it's really awesome. Jeffrey, I'm your friend. Never said that. I never said that. Jeff thinks of food as fuel, so it's really refreshing to talk to someone who sees it as an art and you see the history of it, you see the culture and how that's changed kind of everything,

and Jeff will looks, Jeff will look at like a ratatouille and he'll be like that like gets me through 3-4pm that's my 3-4pm meal I've never said that fine French cuisine tides me over between meals, I've never even intimated that

this is the most fucked up thing you've ever said are you kidding me? Speaking of like fine cuisine and like things that are in art and affect culture in a really profound way, George has brought us a topic this week that is a cultural reset in many ways. We're talking Margaritavilles today. We should be talking about Margaritavilles every day. I love Margaritaville. And I do talk about it every day.

I love Jimmy Buffett. Really? Are you a parrot head? Yeah, I really do. I'm a parrot head. There's a big parrot head can you strumming my six string and is that a short enough clip that you won't get caught for that? Because there was, again, no parroting that. I think it's short enough and we don't make enough money off the show for it to matter.

I'm just saying as a loyal parrot head, I will write a letter to the Jimmy. You're going to submit this to Jimmy. I'm going to submit this to the Jimmy Buffett estate. So he's dead. Right? I don't think he's dead. No. When was he most popular?

The 80s? Yeah. When changes in attitude, changes in latitude came out. George, what's your experience with Margarita Mills? He's alive. He's very much alive. Because you were very quick and excited to bring this to us. Because I love Jimmy Buffett.

Like, he's been my number one Spotify, you know, every year. Why? He's been my number one. He it in your heart you are 70 year old white retiree where do you go to margaritaville you said that there was none in cincinnati i don't think there's one in la there is there's one at the universal city walk which i've been to a handful of times. Are you shitting me, man? I thought you meant like you just like to go to Margaritaville like as a vibe. Like the idea of Margaritaville. I've known you for five fucking years.

I've never once heard you say the words Margaritaville till this point. Well, it's another thing I don't tell people about because of all the libel you spread about food not being interesting. I never said that. Riley just said. Riley just said, why would she lie? And speaking of which, I am drinking a margarita right now george when you came on screen jeff noticed how violently blue your drink is and i simply have to know what's in it yeah what are you doing so i made myself a mai tai um and i like was gonna make it regular and then because i have all this like blue curacao that i have no

use for i was like what if i just sub the regular curacao for blue curacao and the dark rum for a white rum and i just made it blue um so you're living your island dream it's my look i love i also love tiki drinks so like anything like a fruity beverage um because i like feeling like i'm on vacation vacation you and i used to have it we did use that was sort of infamous the chumba one bar the chumba one bar you named it what was the origin of chumba one bar it's like we got a whiskey drink we got a vodka drink what was it we got a lager drink we got another drink um because we'd have a party where we'd have a whiskey drink we prepare whiskey cocktail right here i'll take a drink we'd have a whiskey drink we prepare whiskey cocktail right here i could drink we'd

have another drink which we often dubbed the bad drink which was a drink we just knew exactly right uh we had a lager drink because we had beer on tap uh yes and then that was it and then we'd sing the songs that remind us of the good times we'd sing the songs that remind us of the bad times yeah we used to have a drink called the bad drink. And if you drank it within a minute, because we would fill it to the brim, you got your photo on the wall of the tiki bar. And the tiki bar was in an old shed. I remember going to a party and being very excited to drink the bad drink and get my photo on the wall. And I went down there.

I'm like, hit me with one of those bad drinks. And y'all were like, we're out. And I was so sad. Because'm like, hit me with one of those bad drinks. And y'all were like, we're out. And I was so sad. Because it was expensive to have. Yeah, it was really expensive. So I've never had the bad drink. I've heard tell. I've seen pictures of people who aren't me on the

walls having had the bad drink. I can make you just a bad cocktail. I would like that, Jordan. Alright. Why? I'll make you just a bad cocktail. I would like that, George. All right. Why? I'll make you something vile. I want you to drive by my house.

We'll do a hostage pickup situation. You'll put the drink on the sidewalk. Blackout haunted house, Ryan Galstown. And then I will drink it, and you will watch from the sidewalk. I will finish it. You will take a photo. And then you'll drive as you start to become intoxicated. I will drunkenly drive down the streets of Hollywood.

Wow, that's a fun evolution of the challenge where you drink it and now you have to commit a crime. We got a whiskey drink. I drove down Melrose Avenue and I killed. Oh my god. I thought you were going to do something like I just drove down Melrose Avenue

and I'm never going to drive again. I barely even killed five guys. That's better. So you've been to Margaritaville. Are you standout experiences from Margaritaville? No, they're all just like sort of net good, you know? Like I get my sweet sugary drink. I get my chain restaurant food. I'm just there for the vibe uh i listen and play

son of a son of a sailor right um there's a little at the city walk one there's a stage uh with like a drum set that says margaritaville on it and like stands for all the these instruments and stuff as if a band's gonna perform and no one ever does um and then there's tvs that i've always wondered and i've always wanted to be like if i ever do a show i want it to be there like if i ever film a special it's gonna be at the city of margaritaville no fucking way i love it it's like those sweeping crane shots over the crowd like you have michael buble at the wheel turn and then you have George Saba

at the Universal City Walk Margaritaville. They closed the gift shop at that one. Weird segue. You're mad about it. Well, it's not a segue. No, they did. They did. I was just singing like,

because I was like, oh, I was about to say that one's my favorite one. But then I was like, I don't think it is. What's your favorite Margaritaville? You have a favorite Margaritaville. That reminds me, this is tangential. I'll get back to my favorite margaritaville yeah that reminds me this is tangential um i'll get back to my favorite margaritaville i was at uh the glendale bevmo uh where i get like cocktail materials and i was i heard this couple um and uh the uh girlfriend was like babe babe where are you oh my gosh babe you sure know your way around the glendale bethmo

i thought that was like the sickest burn you could ever give someone so they're either like in the middle of committing a crime and trying to blend in or she's bullying her partner you sure know your way around the Glendale. Wow, babe. Riley, have you ever been to Margaritaville at all? I have never been to the literal or metaphorical Margaritaville. Not even the metaphorical, huh? Not even the metaphorical.

I was never positive that the chain of Margaritaville was directly tied to Jimmy Buffett. I was always like, wow, that's really similar. I wonder if Jimmy Buffett's going to sue for copyright or something like that. Or as if it was a completely separate experience and that it was just a strange name for a place that directly resembled a Jimmy Buffett song. Right. Or that the song was written about the establishment

that's been around. Exactly. Jeff, you ever been to Margaritaville? Glad you asked. I have waltzed past the Cleveland Margaritaville, but always opted for Punchbowl Social Club. And I think George can back me up on there because we're both Ohio brethren. And his girlfriend was one of my friends in high school. So we'll often find ourselves in Cleveland over with the winter break, going out in the flats, making a night of it. Why have we not gone to Margaritaville, actually, when you come to Cleveland? Yeah, well, I'm usually only in Cleveland for like two days. Right, right. And in that time, it's like, you gotta show me the Cleveland only and we do go to my favorite tiki bar in Cleveland that is better for sure well all right

uh we can be like a little tentative about the words we use like better in comparison to we should take a break empirically good in comparison to Jimmy I think after the break you might not hear from me we'll be right back after these few messages Marty Marty I think after the break, you might not hear from me. We'll be right back after these few messages. Marty. Marty. Do you want me to read your ad copy?

Do you want to? Hey, Riley, this casper mattress is really cool i wish we could get sponsored by casper mattresses so who are your sponsors a lot of car stuff wipers one two three and then uh bespoke post and manscaped bespoke post remember the weekender oh yes i'm sorry i was thinking of behance which is when the website for the adobe creative cloud yeah it's not that and we're back uh george you just embarrassed yourself right i mean i have to agree with you because you're the host of the podcast and you said you would cancel me if i don't agree so yes i'm a big fool and we'll cut this out and we'll make it all look like we're agreeing and

it's all good. That's right. I'm agreeing. George, would you like to start us off with your first review of Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville? Yeah. After we decided to do Margaritaville,

I like immediately looked up a review cause I knew I'd forget. And so I haven't read this in a while so this is ostensibly a cold read got it can you give us the name um and the amount like amount of stars if any totally so this is sean t t what does it stand for the t stands for thonger this is sean thonger uh wait this is tangential have you guys watched marrying millions no you guys have a lot of leeway for rambling here well okay first of all don't watch married to millions before you watch selling sunset selling sunset so good here's the thing i actually think you should watch marrying millions before selling sunset uh the gist is it's a structured like 90 day fiance sure and um

so you're following different couples and the conceit of each couple is one person has lots of money and the other person has much less money and that's it oh my god so a lot of marriages it's a lot well and you should watch because it's not so fast it's like pretty twisty um all is to say there's this uh one there's this one woman who's also from vegas uh whose name is shanti uh and so i was just reminded by saying Shanti out loud and her boyfriend. He's the one with less money. He says her name. And if anybody watches, this is a really good impression. He goes, Shanti?

I'm just so nervous when I meet Shanti's friends. It's a really good impression. We're going to look this up, but there's like no show called Married to Millions. I love that it's like, it's like if you have seen it, but also if you haven't seen it, this is a really good impression.

So you don't need to have seen it to know that what I'm doing is really good. And I'm aware it's an auditory medium. So I want you to know I'm like stretching my mouth out to show every single one of my teeth. This has to be the clip. This has to be the Friday clip. George looks like a shark.

But this is my impression of, and I don't remember his name, but it's Shanti's boyfriend in Merry Millions. And it's, I just get so nervous around Shanti's friends. We watch the show and it's just like, yeah, I kind of get nervous around Shanti's friends we watch the show and it's just like yeah i kind of get nervous around shanti's friends you know like well sorry and if it's like that for full disclosure i should show my impressions of jeff and riley yeah let's see yeah let's do me first okay and jeffries is um i just get so nervous around Shanti's friends. Do me, do me, do me.

Do Riley, do Riley. Riley's just so nervous. That's totally Riley. That's so you, Hanson. That is so good. You gotta be on the SNL. You gotta be on the SNL.

That's my real name. Okay, this is from Sean Thonger. So Sean Thonger, he's from North Las Vegas. And this is in June 8th of 2019. He gave it three stars. Which Margaritaville? Is this for the Margaritaville? Oh, this is the Universal Citywide Margaritaville,

the very one I frequent. Cool. My SO and I came to spend the day at Universal Studios reserved our seats four hours in advance the park closed early that earlier than expected but Margaritaville was gracious enough to still seat us earlier than our reserved time which was a great plus the wait time on food took some time they were bush which is understandable their strawberry margarita was good my so had the shrimp scampi which was great i was not a huge fan at all of the jambalaya i asked my waiter to take it back

definitely not worth it my waiter's name was alex and he was great despite not enjoying my own plate overall i had a good time however our wait time for our food did up towards the end with my entree. I was able to have some of my S.O. shrimp scampi and enjoyed. Big shout out to Alex for being a great waiter. As I read it, I probably should have chosen wackier I was about to ask you if you had to rush to get this review done in the last 5-15 minutes

I established I'd give this a week but I didn't read it there's so many good ones There's so many good ones. There's so many good ones. I chose four that we could have done. I don't remember what spoke to me. It's the most down the middle is three stars.

I don't know why I chose this. Oh my God, I'm going to cry. I'm weeping. Oh my god, I'm gonna cry! I'm weeping! Oh my god! Alright class, thank you so much for your attention on this. I know it's the first day after spring break. I know that we had two weeks off. But I really appreciate you guys giving me your full and undivided attention.

Just to kind of be fun on the first day back, let's go around the room and just kind of hear about your guys' vacations. I'd love to hear. Let's start with you, Tracy. This summer was jam-packed, full of adventure. We went on a safari. We went to Kenya, and we saw the elephants and the giraffes. It was so cool. And after that, we actually chartered a yacht to the

Mediterranean. Wow. And then finally, we ended the trip in Paris, France. That's amazing, Tracy. What about you, Josh? Tracy. Tracy. What about you, Josh? I had an amazing time. I mean, we

just stayed home, but my mom made sure to make every weekend have a theme. We flew a kite. We did a beach day in the backyard. It was so imaginative. It was the perfect summer.

Wow. Thanks for sharing, Josh. It looks like Jeter's asleep. Jeter, are you asleep? Sorry, I was just, candidly, was lulled to sleep by Tracy's vacation and by Josh's time home with his mom. Lulled to sleep, or were you doing that performativelyatively because that's kind of rude well it started performatively because uh i'm lashing out after my dad left all right so we can forgive it a little and the other and then i i earnestly fell asleep i'm really sorry cheater that's a huge bummer your father left you cheater is that true ran full speed. He sprinted away from the house. Yeah, he said, take care. And then I watched him sprint down Alpine Terrace, my home street.

Do you have any idea of where he is now? No, he's so fast. So you think he's just... He left his phone. There's no... He went off grid. I was just going to ask if you could do Find My Friends. No, I can't.

You think it would have been the first thing I thought of? Of course. Well, if you ever want to talk to me, Mrs. B, you can. And I'm always here. Cut to him talking to Mrs. B. Oh, you scared me, Jeter. I didn't even hear you come in. Hey, sorry.

You just said, I just wanted to take you up on your offer to talk to you. No, of course, of course. Now the way you're saying it sounds like you didn't really mean it when you said it. No, I mean mean i meant it well and again uh to drive it home my dad ran away full speed and my mom smoked cigarettes all day do my older brother what does your older brother do he makes guns i'm so sad to hear that uh yes i'm sorry i was sending an important i was i was sending a message. It was kind of risky, but let's talk about your... What's a risky text?

What's a risky text? Well, I went on this date with this guy and he just was like... trying to decide whether or not to go on the second one and he hasn't texted me back, so I'm just trying to figure out. I basically said, hey, I had a lot of fun the other night. Would love to see you again. So it's risky for me, but my stakes are different. You said a double text? It wasn't

a double text. It's just he didn't text after the first date. It doesn't... Your father ran away. Your father ran away, so it's more important that we get to your issues. My doomed love life. We'll get to that later. All right, so it seems like your mind's somewhere else. Let's talk about this love life a little.

How'd the first date end? Well, he sprinted away at full speed. Wait, wait, wait. wait about six foot brown hair eyes like mine yeah we have similar eyes did you go on a date with my dad is your last name

Algonquin yeah Jeter Algonquin Jeter I know where your dad is Where? You've been How did you not put two and two? Algonquin is not a common name

You're Jeter in class I don't think of you as Jeter Algonquin But this guy We do go to one of the new age schools This guy was This guy was Mr. Algonquin I'll tell you that What does that mean?

Cut to them At a Hooters. Hi there, welcome to Hooters. What can I get you guys today? Hi, I was on a date here the other night and... Oh, I recognize you. You were with that six foot something tall glass of water, weren't you? Yeah, eyes like... That's my dad.

Eyes like both of y'all's for sure. I see it, I see it. Are you mother and son? I mean, maybe someday. Maybe someday. Who knows? I don't want to get ahead of myself. Did you see that?

You didn't happen to see that guy come back in here, right? I mean, you're one of the waitresses. I just was wondering. Because on our date, he was sort of, you know. Sort of what? Sort of flirting with you guys, too. And like, I don't want to. Oh, yeah.

Don't worry about that, hun. Everyone does it to us. Here are Hooters. I got a little jealous. I got a little jealous, but I wanted to appear cool to him. Oh darling, don't worry about me. I'm tied down. I got this rock on my hand.

Don't worry about it. I have seen him. He did pass by a few times. He did come through here. He always kind of exits through the back. In fact, I actually, I think I saw him come in this morning. I don't know if he fully left the premises, but I think he did go in the back. I hope that helps, darling.

I'm so sorry. I'm going to give you a free pass. Do you mind if we go to the back? Oh, go right ahead. Don't worry about it. I mean, you came in at like 1 p.m. It's not too crowded in here at the moment. We walked to the back.

All of the chefs are also dressed sexily. Oh, hi, sorry. What are you looking at? What are you looking at? Keep walking. Nothing, no, no, no, nothing. We were just looking for this guy, six foot two, last name Algonquin. Oh, Algonquin, that tall glass of water.

Yeah, he's in the meat fridge. What? He's in the meat fridge? Stop looking at me My eyes are up here Huh? My eyes are up here Go gay

Get back where you came from I'm only four foot nine My eyes have to go straight to your huge schlong And your tight shorts Stop looking at me I'm getting nervous Oh my god Go to the meat fridge

Why are you so nervous? You're beautiful No, you don't have to say that He means it No He means it He's a very forward child He's middle school reading level God, you're beautiful no you don't have to say that he means it no he means that he's very forward child he's middle school reading level god you're middle school how old are you kid you

look like you're in what third grade i am in third grade i'm eight years old you have the reading level of a middle schooler god i wish my kid could be like you yeah the man's in the meat fridge i'll guard the door so no one else comes in if you want to go in there. Thanks for letting us in strictly because I'm so smart. I open the door. Dad? Jeter?

What are you doing here? I came to find you. I didn't want you to come looking for me, son. I ran away as fast as I could to find you. I didn't want you to come looking for me, son. I ran away as fast as I could for a reason. Why? Jeter, play nice, all right? I'm scared he's gonna run. He's my dad. It is, if he didn't want me in his life, that's fine. Just pull out of my cigarette-smoking mom next time. No, Jeter. Jeter, my boy. My boy. It wasn't about you. It was about me.

I wasn't ready to take care of the smartest kid I've ever met, huh? Your reading level's still the level of a middle schooler? Yeah, it's always been that way, and it'll never change. Wait, so you're not planning to get... Sorry to insert myself in this. You're not planning to go beyond middle school so when you're in high school you'll still be middle school?

Sorry, I'm eight years old. My long-term thinking is not fully developed yet. Tomorrow feels like a hundred years from now. Hey, Melanie. Nice to see you. Sorry for running off on you the other day. Oh, I get it. You don't have to get it, Melanie. I'm appearing chill to your dad. You don't have to get it, Melanie. I'm appearing chill to your dad. You don't have to. He wronged us.

Dad, do you know what Samson's been doing since you've been gone? Oh, God. What's he up to now? Building guns. That's what he did before. I thought you said. No, that's what he started doing. Do you know what he did before when dad was around?

Something equally kind of problematic? No, he sculpted he started doing. Do you know what he did before when Dad was around? Something equally kind of problematic? No, he sculpted when Dad was around. He had hands like the guy who sculpted the David statue. So just sculptor's hands, you should have said. He had sculptor's hands, and he's using those sculptor's hands to build artillery. Mr. Algonquin, I get it that you had to get away from your family. Melanie, your veins are popping out of your skin. But why a meat locker?

Why a meat locker at Hooters? I didn't think that was a question I would ever hear. You thought people would just sort of get it? Melanie, you a little cold? Freezing? Yeah, how long have you been in here? Well, I guess once you're in here for a certain amount of time, it starts to- He dies. What?

Cut to the ash-spreading ceremony. Jida, your father was a no-good little prick, all right? You're not much better. Well, at least I didn't freeze to death in a Hooters meat locker, all right? At least that. Yeah, I suppose at the very least you didn't freeze to death in a Hooters meat locker, all right? At least that, yeah. I suppose at the very least, you didn't freeze to death in a Hooters meat locker. Hey, you turned out okay.

Your reading level's still that of a middle schooler. That of a middle schooler, yeah, exactly right. You have another child who is building guns. Oh, Aiden? Don't worry about Aiden. How can I not? Who's this? Who's this little two-bit nothing behind you?

I am here to read the rites for the ceremony. This has been a very interesting conversation over here. But let me just do a secular reading. We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of Peter Algonquin, a man who, and then, yeah, I can see that you kind of, sorry, Jeter is it? Yeah. Did you cross out some of these and add your own wordings yeah i did okay i can read it has the reading level of a middle school a jeter honey you should just go up and read it yourself would you mind i'm so sorry i know we're outside but it seriously feels like we're hot boxing the world um could you just put the cigarette

out until we finish the ash spreading oh my god little God. Little Miss Pris, I'll put it out. Jeter, would you like to read it? Obviously, it might. Yes, thank you. We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of my yucky poppy. He ran away full speed, and he is stupid and poopy mouth. Okay. He has a big stinky butt full of hair.

He has a hairy stinky butt. And now he is dead. He is dead. He ran away from my mom who smokes cigarettes and my brother who builds guns. And he is full of farts. When he's dead, he's going to fart so much in hell. He's going to fart all freaking day in hell. That's his hell.

It's full of farts. That's enough, Vegeta. That's enough. Oh, no. You just slapped your son with a cigarette. I can't stand for this. We all wanted to do it. I was looking around.

Everyone was feeling the same way. I did not want to slap him. Do not pretend like what I said wasn't true. No, it was true, Gina. You have the reading level of a middle schooler, but you have the writing abilities of a third grader, because that's what you are. An old-timey pistol sound goes off in the air.

Everybody turns and looks. I'd like to say a few words. Samson Aiden, my boy. It's Aiden now. It was Samson then. Holy shit. Jada, language. Sorry, I'm the reading middle schooler.

Our father was my muse. I often sculpted his amazing legs. And he sprinted away, thus ending my illustrious illustration and sculptor career. I sculpted his thighs, and he used them to rise up. Mom, hit him.

Hit him with your cigarette like you hit me. Sorry, I just like, again, me reading the rights. This is generational trauma that I'm witnessing being started in front of my very eyes. I think we should just spread the ashes over the rights. This is generational trauma that I'm witnessing being started in front of my very eyes. I think we should just spread the ashes over the Atlantic.

Is that okay? Jada, how do you feel? Fine. Spread the ashes. Okay. Aiden, what say you? We'll see what happens. Okay.

I'm going to spread it. I'm going to spread it. Opening the lid and the first handful. There he goes. Second handful. Why? You could have just tried dumping the whole thing out. You don't have to dig your mitts in there

and grab bags of my father. Now your hand is covered in Peter. Well, it shouldn't be much of a surprise to you since you're constantly around Ash. Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Wow. Cheetah, you gonna let him talk to your mother that way? I'm not.

Samsonade and give me one of your guns. Tosses it. Catches it, no look. You're gonna kill me for that? I hate my family, but I love my family. What? Before you even get the chance to shoot the gun, he falls off the cliff into the ocean.

Of course! I blow the gun as if I shot it and spin it hit him square cut back to the classroom so jeter what was your summer like it's okay jeter looks straight to camera winks Cheaters. Okay. I have a good one. I have two good ones. We honestly might have to do Margaritaville part two because I have like three other good ones. We will.

We absolutely will. This is Amy D. Five stars of the Margaritaville in Cleveland, Ohio, my hometown. George, what does the D stand for? Amy De Niro. You talking to me? Amy De Niro. You talking to the D? Nice.

Amy De Niro writes six months from today. Ago. Had brunch here yesterday with a big group of friends and this place was great. We had a birthday party outing set up with 40 people and the place we were supposed to go absolutely dropped the ball on our reservation we quickly ran over to margaritaville and they scrambled to save the day

and accommodate all 40 of us our server dante and the manager worked so hard to take care of us and really did an impressive job. Let's face it, no one expects to walk into work first thing Sunday morning and get a surprise 40 top. Great company, great food, friendly service made for an outstanding day. We ended up hanging out there from noon to four and had a blast the entire time thanks margaritaville for saving the day and helping us make some amazing memories hi welcome to margaritaville um how many in your party hi 100 oh that's funny oh you match the tone you match the tone of the establishment we are all for fun and games, but really, how many people? 100 people. They start filing in.

Not including me. Oh, okay. Hello, hey. Hey, hey, yeah, hi. We do, did you, do you have an event with us? I didn't see one on the schedule. That's a lot. No, we just thought we'd be able to walk in.

How do you know these people? How do you know this many people at once? How do I know? Okay, well, Jared, I know from our running club. That's exactly right. We run together. Michelle, I know from playing pool at the local dive. Don't you know it?

Sorry, you meant Michelle R or Michelle K. I meant Michelle R. Sorry. I thought it was weird. I thought it was weird because you and I don't play pool together. No, we don't. I know Michelle D from skiing. Boom, boom, boom, down the mountain.

Breckenridge it is. Can you accommodate 100 people? Sorry. The two Michelles. Can you keep it together? I'm trying to get us a table for 100. I'm sorry, Seth. Okay, we are not busy.

I'm just worried about the bills, you know, how many tables we are going to have to move together. We'll split it 100 ways or Venmo. We'll just put one card down and we'll Venmo. Is that your concern? I don't know if that's going to be possible because, yeah, it sounds simple and good. I'm wondering maybe we do five groups of 20 or 20 groups of five like somewhere in between there seems doable i gotta talk to everybody i never see these people we got that's why i'm like i'm really that's why i'm confused again my name is

siri i'd love to help you guys out i just very am baffled this doesn't happen from the back of the crowd. From the back. Hey, Siri, get us a fucking table. They all roar. That's good, Brian D. That's really good, Brian D. Thanks. Yeah, nice. Listen, if I can give you context. I would love. I'm an astronaut.

What? I'm an astronaut. Are you talking? And I come down from space one day a year. All right? And I've already milled down all the people I care about to 100. You couldn't have milled it to like 18? Oh, sorry.

Let me just mill out some of my most loved ones. Some of these people are family. Isn't that right, Aunt Dickie? Yoo-hoo! Aunt Dickie here just got off my high horse. Let's talk grounded for a real spell. I'm humbled. Woo! And Dickie here just got off my high horse. Let's talk grounded for a real spell. I'm humbled.

Thanks for inviting me, Astronaut Darren. That's right. Astronaut Seth Darren. Perhaps you've heard of me, Siri. I don't follow current day space missions. Thank you for your service. I don't know what I'm supposed to say to an astronaut. Yeah, you're supposed to say thank you for your service.

I've been in the vacuous void of space for nigh on 10 years, and I get one day a year. Have you seen the third Pirates of the Caribbean? The whole crowd of 100 people answered at the same time? Yes. Wow, that was scary. A tiny Tim nephew comes and shines your shoes, but your shoes aren't leather. I'm wearing sandals.

What is that? Who is this? Cut to the day that astronaut Darren had to cut down to 100 people out of the thousands he knew. Seth, we really need to get prepared for the spacewalk. All right, we need to collect the specimen from Mars. It's like the whole point of the mission. It's Brittany Kendelson.

We went to high school together and we were like in the same, we were in the same friend group. Yeah. But like you, you and I never hung out one-on-one, right? We didn't hang out one-on-one, but it was always one of those things that it's like, oh my God, we should hang out. We should hang one-on-one. We should hang one-on-one. We should absolutely hang one-on-one and now could be our chance. It's like so expensive to call from the space station down to Earth. So this doesn't feel like one of the calls that you should have made. It's supposed to be to family and to Houston. I was a popular jock.

And I came from one of those families that knows all the families in the neighborhood. So I know a lot of people. I just have to tick, tick, tack one down. And Brittany is running on the line. It might be easier. And I'm so sorry you have to tick tick tack one down and britney's it might be easier and i'm so sorry you have to hear this britney it might be easier to kind of knock people off the list if you don't call each one over like yeah no no seth you can just totally knock other people off the list like i think they're gonna be fine hmm i don't care sorry what'd you say mike i just think that if you haven't spoken much since high school, but you were kind of tangentially related, that you shouldn't come to this.

Hey, Seth. Seth, here's something that I bet you didn't know. I've always, this is kind of embarrassing. Don't say it then. If it's embarrassing, don't say it. And you'll never think of little old me. Oh my God, tell me. I have always had the biggest, fattest, juiciest crush on you.

Don't be flattered. That's going to flatter him and then he's going to invite you. I have thought of it a little. Yeah. You've thought of it? Brittany's husband comes in at the back of the Zoom chat.

Hey, Brittany. He's jacked. He's like a Hemsworth. Hey, honey. Can I get you anything? like a cocktail or like a one of your wines not now brian can't you see i'm on the phone with literally nasa with literally nasa i'm sorry i just put one literally nasa yeah get out of the room brian get out of the room i'm on the phone literally nasa i'm going i'm going thank you love you what the hell was that that's

how you treat your husband sorry what oh sorry um no it's like this little it's like a game we play was that actually liam hemsworth it was it was i call him brian because like you know we're on the phone and like i don't want him to get embarrassed because he is actually liam hemsworth um but no but seth but like you're the one who I've always kind of like fantasized about and like always dreamed of going you know just like being with an astronaut is crazy and back in high school I know

that like you weren't an astronaut then but I was kind of new I was kind of new that this is what you meant that to warts bad skin care routine lots of boils on his face I don't I hate to be a part of this but like he's ugly. And your husband is the most attractive man I've ever seen in my life. But is my husband an astronaut?

I don't think so. He's a famous rich actor. Sorry. Didn't realize I would get slandered for having combination skin in an oily T-zone. Listen, Mike, should I point out your flaws? All right. I'm just trying to- Yeah, what are my flaws?

What are my flaws? All right. Well, for one, you're being like a real jerk right now we cost american taxpayers five thousand dollars an hour this is the day this is the day that we do the first walk on mars and you're facetiming with a married woman to flirt who do you talk to for help right don't you have like people you need to talk to no maybe you have no friends because you got one eye mike you were born with one eye we don't talk about it right we only look at the eye you have and it's it's all normal right you got one eyeball get him did i go too i overcame so many barriers to become an astronaut most of all the lack of proper depth perception due to my lack this whole conversation you two are floating around each

i was tested harder than any other astronaut in NASA because they were worried about sending a man with only one eye and altered depth perception to space. I am sorry. I knew it would drop a lot when I said it. I'm not offended. Are you taking me to Margaritaville or not? That's where you're going? That's where you're going to bring this group of people?

Yes, I have 100 people to take to Margaritaville. You don't work out on the ship, by the way. you're gonna bring this group of people yes i have a hundred people to take to margaritaville you don't work out on the ship by the way i hate to bring this up but like you're supposed to do exercise when you go back down to earth you're gonna be a pancake cut back to the margaritaville so anyway that's that's if you wanted to know siri that's sort of what i've been okay yeah that makes i was didn't want to ask, but you're just skin and bone. You kind of flop around like a... Does Siri need an update? Why haven't we got our table yet, Sev?

Oh, that's really good. It's not even a good, that wasn't even a good one. That's really good. Yeah, one of the people who I invited is comedian Adam Carolla. Fine, we'll seat you over here. This is a private event. who I invited is comedian Adam Carolla. Fine. We'll seat you over here. This is a private event.

We're going to have to charge you for it. Adam, you were right. I knew I should have name dropped you earlier. That's not why we let you in. That was the last straw. Can't believe you guys are Carolla heads here. Yeah, fine. Charge us.

We're ordering food and drinks anyway. I've got NASA money. You're spending it on taxpayer dollars yeah i mean look i never get to see these people i never get to spend money what am i gonna buy up in space rocks they're free idiot get him dude get him wow you have a peanut gallery yeah what do you. What do you have? Who do you have, Siri? Little tiny Tim runs up to Siri. And can I have some peanuts?

Insane that you have an orphaned kid with soot on his face. Seemingly. Did he just come from a middle school play or is this how he lives? This is how he is. He's an orphan. When I'm up in space, how am I supposed to give back to people i'm in space give him some money you said you have nasa money don't spend it on a private event for 100 people at margaritaville i'm just giving him i'm giving him a dinner all right teach a boy to fish margaritaville by jimmy buffett starts coming

on over the loudspeakers all the entire group oh i, I love this song. All dancing in unison. Living on foam cake. Watching the sun, babe. We'll be right back to fucking get your drink order. This is unbelievable. Shoeshine. Shoeshine.

Are y'all ready for the final review? We are. This is from Nina E. Extravaganzar. Nina Extravaganzar from Hendersonville, Tennessee. It's a four-star review of the Margaritaville on the Las Vegas Strip. Oh, fuck. That's a good one. I drove by on my road trip.

I've walked through. We considered going there. George, how many margaritavilles have you been to total? I think, look, sat down and eaten that probably like three different ones. But I always like to look. It's so much worse if you don't eat at some of them you go to. It's a gift shop. And it's always an option.

Because Lauren uh like they have gluten-free options for her which is like like a consistent thing especially in a place like vegas where it's like you can never know lauren being your girlfriend who has celiac yeah she has celiac disease it's not preference um god cursed her from eating gluten okay, this is from Nina Extravaganza. Four stars for Margaritaville on this trip. Love and happiness. That's what I call happy hour. Always love coming to an old time favorite. Our waitress slash bartender is on point. We ordered some sides to go with our drinks. Amanda is helping us out. I like her friendliness. She's talking to me like she has known me

all my life. I give her two stars. And the appetizers, one, but it's all good. Even my margarita gets a star. Young and old, it's all good. It's all good, baby. Hey, everybody. Thanks for coming to my party.

Yeah. We know Cynthia. Oh, yay. Thanks for coming to my party. Yeah. Yeah, we know Cynthia. Oh, yeah. You know Cynthia? Roommate? Yeah. Well, it's pretty cool. Yeah.

I think you guys have good vibes. Are we early? Right on time, baby. No one else has shown up. Is Cynthia here? Cynthia is not here. She's been in the bathroom for what feels like nigh on one day. Okay, but she's in the house.

Well, I'm not going to knock on the bathroom. I don't think she's in the bathroom, man. What's your name? My name? Yes. What's your name? Kirsten. Kirsten?

Kirsten. What's your last name? Christian? What's your last name? Christian Dior. Your name is Christian Dior. We can have multiple names, baby. Names are just words we apply to people, right?

They're just fucking words. Wait, we can have multiple names or multiple people can have the same name? Multiple people can have the same name, baby. Multiple. But you don't have other names. It's just Christian Dior. Just Christian Dior. That's my name.

Matt, stop. We don't have to get into it with him. Maybe we can come back another time. What are you doing? Wait, hold on. See, you guys brought wine. What are you going to do? Just take that wine yourself?

I've seen the gift. That'd be awful rude. It was for Cynthia. Christian thirsty. It was for Cynthia. Christian Thirsty. What was that? Christian Thirsty, baby. Christian Thirsty? Can I?

Yeah, because we got a text from a new number, and it said, hey, it's Cynthia, just got a new phone. Why don't you come on over? I'm having a few people over for a little hang session. Right, yeah. So, full disclosure, that was me questioning. Okay. Right. You did not need to say that, we figured.

Oh, you guys are like little detectives. You guys are like my little detectives. You just told us. You just told us to pull out. Yeah, you fully said you sent the text. Listen, I think we're going to go. I think we're going to head out. Hold on, my little detective friends.

I got crime for you to solve. What? You have a crime? What are you talking about? It's like a joke? Well, it's a little serious, actually. Ever since you said you didn't need me to tell you that, so you must have inferred it. I've been trying to solve a crime.

Do you work in law enforcement? Are you a detective at all? Not at all. I think cops are bad. Good. Cool. Good. Good.

Good. So do we. Right. What crime are you trying to solve? A murder. Is this a murder mystery party? No, this is a real crime. The party was just supposed to be good vibes.

Didn't know my new friends were detectives. Who was murdered? Who was murdered? Yes, that's what she said. Of course, you bring up there's a murder. Who was murdered? How are we supposed to know? Commodore Beasley Gorp.

We're absolutely leaving. Commodore Beasley Gorp? He's a Commodore. They don't have those much anymore. It's not common enough. It's why it's novel. Knock, knock, knock at the door. Knock, knock, knock.

Rapping, rapping, knocking at the door. Knock, knock, knock. Rapping, rapping, knocking at the door. Oh, it's open. Hello. Oh, hello, Christian Dior. Oh, have you met new friends to help us solve the murder? I have, Zsa Zsa. Zsa Zsa what? Or is her first name Zsa and last name also Zsa?

First name Zsa Zsa. I'll let her say her last name. First name Ja Ja, last name Borg. My husband was murdered. We see she's wearing like a tinfoil alien outfit, like a la Andy Warhol. You're looking great, Ja Ja. Oh, you too, Christian.

Now tell me, does anyone have any leads on what happened to my husband, Commodore? Looking for you, Zsa Zsa. I made friends with two detectives. We're not. We're not detectives. We were here for Cynthia. We were throwing her out. It was a housewarming party.

Oh, look at them. Moved in with a Craigslist roommate. They look mighty smart. Thanks. Say, do either of you own a magnifying glass? I do, weirdly, but it's not for what you think it is. It's for reading small texts. I collect

old volumes. Say no more. Say no more. I have to say more because it clarifies it and changes it. No, you don't. I stopped listening. Right, that don't. I stopped listening. Right. That's what I was worried about. Well, listen, Christian.

I wanted to come by because I have a new piece of evidence. Oh, you need to listen up. That might help with the murder. Okay. All right. I'm really sorry about your husband, if this is real. Of course it's real. Commodore was murdered in cold blood.

Whoa. It wasn't supposed to thunderstorm. Christian plays on piano. Out of tune. Thank you, Christian. Out of tune. Okay, oh my God. I can't believe we're still here.

All right. Christian, remember the last time I saw you? I said that the last words Commodore ever uttered, do you remember what they were? Just say it at the same time. We gotta say them at the same time. We gotta say them at the same time. What?

What? What? What is right with you? You guys said different things kind of delayed from each other. I don't think that this was... He absolutely said, what? What up you? Man, that's...

He had a way with words. That has... He died on his waterbed and on his bedside table. In the little drawer, I opened it up and what did I find? What? What did you find? I can't believe I care enough to ask. I found a bloody shoe.

Ah, you time it so well if you're doing that. If not, it's just weirdly happenstance that it thunders at the same time. It was a light up sneaker. We all know what that means. What does that have to do with a bloody sneaker? The front door gets kicked in. A Chuck Norris looking guy. Colonel Mustard.

Not from Clue, although it's a happy coincidence here to solve a crime. Oh, Colonel Mustard, I'm so happy you made it. Christian Dior, I need more of that fancy cologne you gave me. I've got it in spades. Say, Colonel Mustard, couldn't help but notice you're only wearing one shoe.

So I am. I lost it not in a drawer. Can we say something? I think, um, this is crazy. Zsa Zsa, do you have the shoe that you found? Indeed I do jaja do you have the shoe that you found i indeed i do why well there's no reason to have that well i think well i think my guess is that um the shoe was is colonel mustard's

other shoes yeah i have to let's just figure this out fast because it was obviously Colonel Mustard. What? No way. Christian. I knew my friends were detectives, Colonel. You never told me that. I just got here. I said I knew that. I didn't disclose that to you, Colonel. I kept that as a secret for me and for Zsa Zsa only. Is this really a crime scene?

Because I'm starting to get a little worried. I can't tell if this is a party. I can't tell what this is. Oh, no, this is all real, babies, honey. This is all real. This happens every night for us. She comes back with the shoe. All right, I can't believe I'm doing this. Colonel Mustard, I

know you would never hurt a fly. This is some weird Cinderella stories you got going on here, Christian Dessure, the fashion designer for real. I'll put the shoe on, but why don't you test where the

toe hits? I'll guarantee it'll be a half size off. What do you mean you test where the toe hits? I'll guarantee it'll be a half size off. What do you mean test where the toe hits? When you're at a store, a footlocker of sorts, and they kind of let you test out which sneaker size you really need because it varies brer and to brand. You put your wiggly, writhing foot inside. Here we go.

I put the shoe on. It fits perfectly foot inside. Here we go. I put the chute on. It fits perfectly. Fuck. Colonel Mustard, baby. You're under arrest. Colonel, how could you do this to my dear Commodore? I was always jealous of the Commodore. That's right, I did it.

But it was only to win back your approval in affairs romance. What the fuck are you talking about? His name is Colonel Mustard. You're supposedly the actual fashion designer, Christian Dior. You guys solve crimes. And he killed your husband? You solve crimes every night? We don't solve crimes.

You guys solve the crime really well. We experience a lot of crime. She put a shoe on him. She put a light up Skechers on his foot and that's it. I work at Le Pen Quotidien. I know nothing about crime. Oh, that's

an awful fancy word. Oh my God. Le Pen Koki Dote? No. Forget it. You know what? Listen, I guess we should. I don't want to call the cops, but I do feel like we should call the cops because there is a convicted murderer. I've got handcuffs, baby. We don't even have to.

This crime happens to us every day, like I said. And I'm still standing here, not trying to flee. So is this like on a loop? Is this the crime you play out every night? Cynthia comes out of the bathroom. Okay, guys, that was perfect. If we can do that when we open the doors tomorrow night to our immersive theater experience, it's going to be a hit.

What? God damn it. Are you kidding me, Cynthia? What was this? What? This is an immersive theater experience. So then what's everyone's real names? Are your names Christian Dior, Zsa Zsa, and Colonel Mustard?

I'm actually Christian Dior, baby. It's very little acting on my part. I just put, she just tells me to show up and I say, boop, boop, boop, baby, baby. Well, hang on a minute. How did you get the thunder and lightning to go? Well, that was just a coincidence. No way that's real. Are you kidding me?

This shook me up. What's been shaking you, George? A current obsession, air grievance, the floor is yours. I'm late to the party. I guess this is the most recent thing I can think of. So the Parks Department search and rescue thing, there's a thread on Reddit just talking about all the scary things that Parks Department search and rescue has to go through.

Really? To find people. I have not seen this. Feel free to just read on they're like little creepy things um there's one about like a bear man who like stole a boy yeah like you can read it's on no sleep so it's sort of like questionable whether or not it's real or not but like it's we'll never know like they have to go like 40 like 30 40 miles into the woods like at different national parks it's like

why else would anyone go off trail that far um and like one of the things apparently is that there's like staircases that lead to nowhere and the thing about the search and rescue department again according to this red thread is like you're just not supposed to talk about the staircases they'll be like like your first day you might see a staircase and they'll be like hey i saw the staircase isn't that weird and they'll'm like yeah do not talk about the staircases uh so that's one weird thing another thing is like they rescued a guy with a uh broken leg who was like climbing like uh just like top roping sure and uh they rescued him from like a cavern he had a broken leg and he was like in shock and like very delirious and he was like uh yeah i was climbing i actually reached the top and there

was a man there and uh like i was like hey like how how's your going you're making like conversations you do on the top of the mountain and he turned around and apparently he had no face and it's not real the guy freaking out freaking out he like quickly like rappelled down but he rappelled down too quickly and like got caught in the cavern and broke his leg and the whole time you could hear the muffled like trying to speak but you have no mouth that's not real that can't be possible it can't be look and look it can't like just read the things read the things but i mean it's and i would say it's I mean, it's fun. It's fun.

It's fun. It's interesting. It's not real because it's real that I can't sleep tonight. Well, it's called no sleep. What? Anything? Any other choice stories from that thread? The one about the bear man was like two kids come.

Oh, actually, like this is a smaller one. I think it's interesting. And a little bit like, oh, maybe that's because all of them have like that one's the least plausible the one with the man with no mouth one that's like feels kind of like spooky plausible is like uh you know the grandmother and father and like there's three generations i suppose um and like the daughter of the father uh are out you know about and the daughter like climbs a tree and she climbs the top of the tree. It's like fun. And they're like watching, making sure she's safe.

And she just never comes down. No, no. She never comes down. No, she never comes down. She's taken by a hawk. They search the tree. There's nothing. No one in the tree.

What the fuck? Taken by a hawk. Taken by an eagle. You thought he's taken by a bird. Talons and all. She was taken by a bird. You're so definitively sure. You know what?

They don't say the age. So I feel like that's plausible. I feel like a pretty big bird could take. But you have to be like. Light as shit. Old enough that you could like climb a tree. Right. Like a scrawny little gal.

Taken by a bird. Pure muscle density. Riley, what about you? What shook you all week long? There is this game called Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes. And it is so it's you play it on your computer. It's basic. It's great for a distance game in this COVID world of ours.

And it's also just great to like have. So it's on the same platform stream that you can play like Jackbox games on and stuff on your computer. And so basically the premise is that it's like as a group it's a group you can do it with two people i guess two people are more but the premise is that it's like the group is collectively working together to diffuse a bomb and so one person holds the computer and so they're the only person who can look at the bomb and each bomb has like different levels they have like different quote-unquote. So it's like some bombs have a five minute time limit with only three modules and you get three strikes. And then the harder you get, like the harder they become,

the more there are, the more intricate it gets, whatever. But the rest of the team can't look at the bomb. But they have like a packet and each module is explained on each page. So there's one module that's like, like different horizontal wires. And it's like, how many, like, which wires do you cut? And it's like, okay, if there's three wires and there's only one yellow, cut the fourth. Or like, so I don't know how to explain it other than like, it is so much fun.

And the person on the computer has to verbalize it. Like, okay, I'm spinning around. We got four modules and this one, this is, and it kind of scratches the itch of like an escape room because everyone's working together solving these puzzles it is so but you have to be in person no you could do it over zoom if if like you're if like let's say yeah you could do it over zoom if one person has the software on their computer um and the rest of people are on zoom trying to figure it out while this one person is doing the software you can you can do it um remotely um but it's it's very very fun what shook me all week long is whiskey sours just

gonna keep it simple i've always been a straight whiskey guy. And recently, being in quarantine and all, I'm not getting my fix of that creative shits. As in going to a cocktail bar, having a handsome madam or man or bartender of any sort. Make me that egg cream. So I've started doing shaken, then stirred over ice, whiskey, egg white, simple syrup, lemon juice, shaken without ice, shaken with ice,

strained into a glass, and garnished with bitters. And I'm bitter about it because it's taken me this long to love that head. Because of the shaken egg white, there is a foam at the top and you can adorn it with Angostura.

And it's just, I feel like I'm at death and company. I really do. Because it's the fanciest drink I know how to make nowadays. And it's brought me many a girl's gaze. I'm lonely as fuck. You're still single?

I'm so lonely. You're still single? I absolutely am. The bed next to me every night is empty and so is a tiny place in my heart. And it's guarded. It's obviously guarded. The bed next to you, you sleep with two beds in your room.

Well, the bed is guarded by a dog and my heart is guarded by heartbreak. There's a little bit of heartbreak. Well, George, thank you so much for coming on this week's episode of review review we have loved having you i can't hear a word you're saying george george has muted himself he has absolutely muted himself he's still muted muted. All right, get out of here. Thank you, George. Have fun at therapy.

Well, you can find Riley on Instagram at RileyAnspa, on Twitter at RileyCoyote. You can find the show on Instagram at ReviewReview, on Reddit, r slash ReviewReview, and on Twitter at ReviewReviewShow. ReviewReviewShow. Oh, so many ats. You can find Jeffrey on Instagram at I Review Show. Review Review Show. Oh, it's so many ats. You can find Jeffrey on Instagram at IamJeffreyJames,

on Twitter at DontPlayNoJames. Thank y'all for listening. Hey, thanks for listening. What's that? Thanks for listening. Thanks for listening. You're, yeah. Are you happy?

We'll see you next week. We will. And we're happy about it. We're not pouting about it. I love it. I love it i love it oh god that was a hit gum original