Review Revue - Monopoly

Episode Date: May 18, 2021

Reilly and Geoff read reviews about the board game Monopoly and discuss traditional cheating, Logan Roy losing it all, and immoral keynote speakers!Follow Reilly and Geoff:IG: @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjamesTwitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardeeAdvertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Get that Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. At participating restaurants for a limited time. I don't think so. One star, two star.

Okay, harmonies. Okay. That came in from JK. That was amazing. That was amazing. That was fantastic. It gave me like office vibes at first with the piano. But I don't think so.

I don't think so. One star, two star. I love that what I'm loving about kind of you know seeing these theme songs progress is that at the end of the day we just have we now officially own the melody of Fuh You by Paul McCartney I think we

really do I think we've not only taken it on as our own, but it's become more ours than it ever was his. It's more our, like, he couldn't even fathom having it as much as we now have it, if that makes sense. I bet he doesn't even remember the song. I don't think he even made the song. I don't think he even actually recorded the song.

Well, we've heard a recorded version, right? So he obviously did it. Yeah, we did. We played it for 57 episodes. I saw him play it live. Did you? Yeah. Did we?

No, we didn't. I don't know anymore. You look back at the episodes and like Back to the Future of Marty fading away the picture suddenly every episode. It starts with us. We made the song. It's a fully produced version. Jay wanted us to plug his TikTok at Kemcage,

K-E-M-C-A-G-E. So go follow, give him a follow. He said, G'day, this is Jay from Sydney, Australia. He said Australia? He said Australia.

Hi, Jeffy! Hi. Last night, Jeff came over and as he was walking away to go home and sleeping the house i kept knocking on my front window just waving goodbye to him repeatedly so as jeff kept walking away i'm like bye jeffy and i kept waving goodbye and you didn't like it really it's nails on a fucking chalkboard you hate it i hate it i genuinely hate it you love saying it because

you know i hate it it's fun to say try it no i'm not going to what's new jeffrey james are you drinking bone broth no yes it's coffee it's collagen bone sauce um no i'm having my second coffee of the day actually if you really want to know it's my second cup you're a lorelei you absolutely are a lorelei you can't get enough of that bean juice listen so the rashids visited this past week it was a it was an amazing time um and i also love having them here because they drink as much, if not more coffee a day than I do. It makes you feel like one of them. I felt seen. Seen and heard. I felt understood.

I felt bean. Coffee. I felt small coffee bean. Jeffrey, what's new, boo? What if we just called each other pet names now? Listen, bae. Hey, bae. What's new today found out that uh the new head gum office signed the lease

officially today so that's gonna be really fucking awesome uh that's i think the lease starts in june i don't know if we'll be when do we think we'll be back i was just gonna say marty said that there's some things that they need to do before like it's usable. I think that you know, setting up the studio and all that bullshit. So I would probably say... You know, making the space, making it usable for people to record in because it's a podcast studio. But other than shit like that,

like dumb, like kind of like vain shit like that, it should be really nothing. It's utilitarian. And what else are you saying? Yeah, setting up all the stuff. But it used to be a record labels office. I don't know if we've talked about it. So there is a studio that's already soundproofed them, almost positive.

But I think he was saying that he wanted to get Eagle in to get video stuff set up for video podcasts and all that jazz. And then just moving all the stuff from the storage unit to the office. But I don't know. There's no way that takes longer than like two or three weeks. So we'll probably get in in June. And by then. That's exciting. We'll be like, already LA I think is like past 50% of adults vaccinated, at least with one dose.

So I think by then we'll be approaching like 70 with one dose. So that's not herd immunity necessarily. But with that and natural infection i'm gonna be there every day with that natural infection i'm moving in oh like you're moving your desk stuff in you're gonna set i am moving into the new studio i live there you can't do that because it's a place of business and there's no beds well i can't yet because the lease hasn't officially started but um you can't yet or ever you can't yet or ever because it's a place of business and there's no beds. Well, I can't yet because the lease hasn't officially started, but once. You can't yet or ever.

You can't yet or ever because it's actually, you can't live there because it's a communal space. It's an office. It's not set up to be somebody's house. There's no shower. Speaking of properties, speaking of owning things, buying things, lease agreements, payments, bankruptcy, passing go, collecting $200, the little dog who I always want to play, but somehow it never ends up being mine. So I'll take the top hat and I'll wear it as a tiny hat on the day. Given all of this, we're talking about Twister. We did not say it at the same time.

I saw you say it. Oh, damn it it we're talking monopoly the thing that i want to have over hollywood really i want to control everything i want to have utter power don't look off into the void as you say i want to control beat everything really what is your experience with monopoly are you a monopoly player are do you get angry etc etc walter my family so monopoly used to be like my family's game yeah like we'd play it on most family vacations um we'd play you know it would it would be a time um it's always high stakes i've i don't think I've ever finished a game of Monopoly.

I think it's gotten to the point where either we just, it's gone on too long and we're like, okay, based on the standings right now, this person wins. It's like, it's never like we get to a point where, you know, one person has officially won and bankrupt everyone else. It's like, it's been three hours. You have the most money and most properties, you know, I'll forfeit, you win. It starts, it's been three hours. You have the most money and most properties. I'll forfeit. You win.

It starts. It's a strange game. Looking back now, is it fun? No. It starts slow. And it ends slow. And with a lot of promise. And then you think, okay, once we all start building up properties, then it'll really get going.

But then it sucks. Of course. really get going but then it just it's like then it sucks then it's like you're just you're just trying not to land on anyone else's property yeah or trying to get more and then like budgeting it's a really it's actually not a fun game it sucks to have i i i think it's absolutely the idea of we should play monopoly oh that'd be fun it's you know and it is like the pace of it feels like a fun thing where you can chat and gab have a drink or five and uh you know own park drive did you ever play um like there's i think what's also wild about monopoly there are so many different themed variations on the game and so i had like dogopoly and beatlesopoly so for me that was an incredible time and i think

there was a thrill of like i own a golden retriever um i own abbey road studios like it was more about like oh no i want to buy this thing because that's my favorite dog that's my favorite song or whatever yeah but the game that's how they trick you because then you're still playing that's how they get you that's how they get you that's how they get you you can make monopoly you could honestly jeff never mind that might be a birthday present we'll see oh my god okay um your birthday's in like three weeks why are you talking about my birthday because i'm thinking of like i don't know if it's better to get you a gift that i think you'll actually like and use or if i should make you something that's you're not gonna use and won't like but it'll be funny for a second so either way i'm not gonna

like it and i'm not gonna use it no either either way you're gonna get a gift that you do like and will use or you'll get something that's a bit and oh yeah that's all it either one's good you don't have to get me anything though um my ex-girl, I gave her, this is the most niche version of Monopoly I've ever seen, heard of, bought, etc. She's from a town in Fresno called Clovis, and I got her Clovisopoly. No. No way! It's so niche! It's a tiny town, and everything is like landmarks in this little town and i don't

think she ever played it and rightfully so monopoly has a monopoly on clovisopoly on clovisopoly on all they can make you can make monopoly out of literally anything literally anything i do remember i have a memory of being little not little maybe i was like eight nine and being with my cousins who were of drinking age at that point maybe i was like 10 or 11 and they were all like they were with their college friends and they were playing monopoly and like having drinks and chatting and i know i said something similar to this on a different podcast episode. I forget what it was. But it's like, it was a similar. Can I say what you're going to say?

Because I know exactly what it is. It's, oh, this is what being an adult is. And then you've never done it as an adult. You've said that like four times. I know. But there are some seminal moments that I'm like, yo, when I'm this age. Oh my God. I'm going to play Monopoly all the fucking time, bro.

I'm just going to like. And you know what it is? Because I said this. Ah, I said it on the Dave and Buster's app. And what I realized is that it's doing childhood things while having a drink. And to me, that's what adulthood is. And that's what it is. So you know what?

I'm seeing the pattern. That's so funny. And I think that's why game nights really appeal to me. Yeah, you know what? I'm seeing the pattern. That's so funny. And I think that's why game nights really appeal to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's like, oh, I love a game night. We should do one soon. You love a game night, too. Oh, I love it, yeah.

The Venn diagram of you and me, there's a lot in the middle, but that's one of the biggest things. That's one of the biggest ones. It's game night is the biggest in every, it's a bunch of tiny little ones around that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's mostly game night. That's the the most universal one and then the rest is bullshit all right should we get into our first review yes do you want me to send you a couple you told me that you um had like seven reviews that you were really excited about so i was like let's just do yours because that's a lot and if if they're all good, let's do that. I don't know what to pick.

Okay. There's just so many good ones. Hold on. Okay, here we go. So like we were saying before, what I love about Monopoly is that there are infinite versions of this game. So when I looked up Monopoly like on Amazon, I mean, I had my pick of the litter. There was just so many so this one is for monopoly cheaters edition and um in like the the photos the ad photos they have for it they

it comes with a little plastic pair of handcuffs and it's like i guess one of the let me see if that's the actual name but i think like hold on monopoly cheaters yeah cheater cheaters edition rules so it's like here jeff i'm gonna send you a photo of um i'm gonna text it to you of what this um what the art looks like i'm looking at it now he looks so cheeky it's the monopoly guy like with his back turned but he turns his head around and he's like and so it comes with a little plastic pair of handcuffs and i guess like i've never played it but i'm assuming it's like if you get caught cheating you're you're cuffed and it's like it's just really it's so wild anyway what can you get away with get caught get cuffed get caught get cuffed what can you get away with it's cuffing

season let's listen it's cuffing season so that's kind of when i play monopoly cheaters edition and see how many people i can catch cheating in the game. Anyway, this is a two-star review from Kristen W. Let's go winner. Okay, Kristen winner. Winner, winner, Kristen winner. Nice. Two stars.

The title is I'll Stick With Cheating The Old Fashioned Way. I already know where this is heading. This game is fun if you haven't really played some of the other versions. After opening and reading everything, it became apparent that it makes things a bit too complicated. You are limited to the five cheating actions listed on the cards.

We found it difficult to... We found it difficult to only do those cheating actions. Personally, I'll stick with cheating the old-fashioned way. Snatching money from the bank when no one's looking. If you're looking for a fun and quick Monopoly, go with Monopoly Empire. I'll stick to cheating the old fashioned way. Well, now that I'm allowed to do it, it's not fun.

Well, I wanted to open the relationship, honey, but you've, so you've been cheating on me because that's different and that's really hurtful because we hadn't talked about it, obviously. Well, yeah. I mean, I was doing, you know you know you know i love a thrill i i'm you know i'm a guy i'm the guy who goes to six flags and i want to ride everything i want to do the slingshot and i want to get caught and that's the thrill of of what i've been doing the past five uh months but now that you're saying you want to open the relationship i kind of just want to be a one woman man if that

makes sense sorry so so now that the relationship is going to to open the relationship, I kind of just want to be a one-woman man, if that makes sense. Sorry, so now that the relationship is going to be open, the thrill for you is staying loyal? Yes! That's exactly what I'm saying. It's like, yes, keep the relationship open. Because now the thrill is keeping you close. It's keeping you close. Well, I also wanted to have some fun on the side.

You're going to be thrilled with keeping tabs on me? I'm just a traditional guy at the end of the day. I'm just a traditional guy with traditional values. And I don't know about most people, but I just want to cheat the old-fashioned way. I don't want anything fancy. Cut to him at a buffet. And it's all you can eat, sir. So you can just, as many seconds as you want. We're not going to catch you. We're not going to come up to you and say it's all you can eat sir so you can just as many seconds

as you want there's no we're not gonna catch you we're not gonna come up to you and say hey you can't get a third you can't get a second round uh it's like could you actually i'm i'm sorry i i know that this is uh the all you can eat menu can you just actually like make my plate for me and just not i don't want anything more than that don't even let me near this thing okay like i will i'll just take two hard boiled eggs piece of toast and do not let me have anything more than that. Don't even let me near this thing, okay? Like, I'll just take two hard-boiled eggs, piece of toast, and do not let me have anything more than that, okay? It's like we're giving you permission. We're giving you permission to do whatever you want,

to eat whatever you want, however much you want. Trevor, listen, dude. Hey, man to man, I'm a traditional guy. I want to steal food the old-fashioned way, all right? So give me a fixed price, and I'll make some excuse that there was, like, you know, a roach in my salad. You'll give me more food.

And then we'll call it a day, right? Cut to him at the bank. And this is your debit card, and it's a $3,000 withdrawal limit from any Chase location. So feel free to withdraw any amount up until then. Can I just... Would it be crazy i pull on a black ski mask can you just hold him up can you just hold your hands up what this is a robbery i'm an old i don't know how many more times i need to say this. Security tackles you. I'm a traditional guy!

Cut to you in jail. Guard comes up, unlocks the thing. Alright, you posted bail. You're free to go. I put a tarp over the floor. I've been digging with a spoon. No, you don't have to dig your way out. We're giving you permission to leave. Feel free to go. No, lock. Keep me in here. Keep me. I close the door.

It's unlocked, but I'm still, I'm just trying to hold it together. I'm trying to pull it out. You're trying to pry it open. Come on, let me let you out. Let me let you out. No, keep me in here. I want to be a normal, average, old-fashioned bad boy.

And so you're going to keep me in here, and I will just meet you on the other side. Please just let me do this. Don't let me post bail. I want to sneak out. I move the mattress back life made so much progress now we have to fill the hole fine you can dig your way out if it'll make you feel like a bad boy but it's been hard oh it hasn't you posted bail within 20 minutes with the money that you took out from your debit card my girlfriend won't let me cheat on her like i should that's so immoral but i you don't

understand it's like it's the natural order of things and so that's fine stay in the jail actually stay in yeah the natural order of things stay in yourself uh all right should we take a quick break naughty yes let's take a break and we're back is that insane is that crazy okay all right jeff you pick i have a couple reviews for sorry i have three different versions so i have i have another one for the cheaters edition i have one for a children's version where you literally use like credit cards instead of cash and i have a children's that one okay a children's version that's more complicated

this one is for Monopoly Junior electronic banking cards track your cash easy to play

banking unit but it has a dog and a cat on the front but I don't think it's animal themed okay this is five stars But it has a dog and a cat on the front, but I don't think it's animal themed. Okay, this is five stars from Louisa A.

Louisa Economy. A-A-C-O-N. Louisa Economy. Five stars. The title is Future Businessmen in our family. Our six and seven-year-old grandsons love this game. It's so different from their other games. The younger one has already figured out a couple business moves to beat his granddad.

Capitalist propaganda for six-year-olds. Yeah. I imagine it's like Logan Roy's grandchildren beating him at his own game. You got me at my own game, I see, grandson. You double-crossed me. I'm obviously angry, but I'm also proud. It's just a game.

It's more than a game. It's how the world works, Randall. Listen, you stole Park Place from me. It's more than a game. It's how the world works. Randall. Listen. You stole Park Place from me. Now I'm going to steal something from you in the real world. Because I think you've already become a man to me. Well, Grandpa, don't steal anything from Randall. It's just a game. We can play again and maybe you'll win this time. I put your mother in charge of the Southwest Division. I'm going to fire her because you'll win this time. I put your mother in front of the charge of the Southwest Division. I'm gonna fire her because you just won this game.

It's done. What? No! You get a call. Immediately. Hello? Dad, what the hell? What are you? You just, you took me off the Southwest Division? Yeah. Our numbers have been incredible this quarter. Are you insane? Randall took me off of Broadway.

Now I'm taking you off of the payroll. I'm also writing you out of the will. This is to teach your son a lesson. This is unbelievable. There has to be some legal... He clearly already knows how it works. Fuck off. Hang on.

Who taught you how to do this? You did. You taught me everything I know. What? And now I'm not just going gonna take the park place in the game now i'm gonna take something from you i'm not gonna tell you when or what you'll just have to wait and see cut to uh logan walking into the fucking office he tries his key card. It doesn't work. This is bizarre. Tries it again.

Doesn't work. Security walks up. Hey, Mr. Roy, can I help you with something? Yeah, actually, you actually can. I think that you guys must have updated

the security system and I demand that I have a new key card. We did update the security system and I'm afraid that you are no longer on the clearance list.

So we're going to have to escort you off the property. What the fuck are you talking about? I'm Logan Roy. I own this building. Not anymore, sir.

I kind of sheepishly point up with my eyes like, I don't know what to tell you. Two workermen move a scaffold and it shows the new name of the building is Randall Co. We're under new management, sir. Please don't make this any harder than it has to be. If you peacefully leave the property, then I won't have to manhandle you out of here.

Nobody's going to manhandle me out of anywhere. I've worked at this company 80 fucking years. The big doors open. Two six-year-olds in smoking jackets walk into the lobby. Oh, so he's here. Weren't able to get him off the property today, Marcus? No, not yet, sir. We were hoping he would leave peacefully, but it seems that he is not wanting to do that.

So do you want me to... No, no need to manhandle him, Marcus. We can talk this out like men. What have you done randall i thought you'd be proud of your little little tyke grandson one day owning the family business just like you wanted isn't that what you wanted yeah one day the dynasty you've created one day not yet i'm not ready well we are they The two six-year-olds clink champagne glasses. You can't drink that.

It's Martinelli's grandfather. We got the best case in town. Aged grape juice? That just sounds like wine. Yeah. We're the heads of this company now, but we'd be willing to, they look at each other and nod,

strike a deal. I'm listening. Why don't you come up to our office? We can show you what we've done with the place on the way. They're walking. All the assistants, like everyone is curtsying and bowing to them as they walk past. I didn't even have people do this. This is bizarre.

This is what you get when you earn respect, not fear, grandfather. Seems like it's absolutely fear driven. Everyone is shaking. It's terrifying. Another round of Martinelli's on the house. You've earned it.

They're all like, thank you. Thank you, sir. Thank you, sir. Sir? They get to the boardroom. The two kids get on booster chairs. I'm sitting really low to the ground. This is horrible.

How's this even possible? I feel like I would have to approve a sale. We found some loopholes in the contract that you signed at your company. And now it's ours. But we'd be willing to maybe let you work for us if you give the Southwest Division back to our mother, that is. What's the job for me? Oh, the job?

Well, we figured that you deserve a position that's more aligned with how we see each other now, the kind of grandfather that you are. Someone who taught you the ropes, someone who you respect and who you've looked up to for your entire lives. I get it. Not quite cut to.

He's running the slide line on the Roy cruise cruise all right next wait no wait wait he's not he's looking down at the pool sees somebody come out all right now you can go um all right our next this is foropoly, the longest game ever edition. I couldn't believe this existed. It's already so long. It's already the longest game ever. This is five stars from NR. North Royalton.

North Royalton. That's a Cleveland reference. The title is, why are people complaining about how long it takes? I'm not sure why people in reviews are complaining about how long it takes. Literally, it's in the title of the game. Haven't had a chance to play yet, as it was just delivered about 45 minutes ago, but I'm so excited to play, if I can get anyone to play with me. Read the rules in its entirety, and it pretty much has the same house rules of a normal game.

Not a fan of stealing properties and paying extra, but it does make the game last longer, which is exciting. My previous record for Monopoly, original board, was four people and 18 hours. Can't wait to break the record. My God. 18 hours. They've lost a lifetime playing this game. Hi, sorry. I hate to be the person to send something back,

but this Wagyu I just got is actually too marbled. It's a little too tasty to me. Oh, stop it. That's one of the nicest compliments we've had all night. I will tell the chef directly. That's so sweet. No, I can't handle it. My previous record for a great steak was just an 8 out of 10,

and this is 12 out of 10. I can't do it. It's not what I want anymore. But we, I mean, I think it's a good thing that we exceeded your expectations. Do you not want me to give your compliments to the chef for the best steak you've ever had in your life? Tell the chef that he's done too much in this scenario. Is it overdone? Is the steak overdone?

I'm so sorry about that. I can absolutely. It's that now everything's ruined for me. The next steaks that I have are going to be awful to have. Cut to this guy in bed with somebody. They're both laying on the pillows panting. That was amazing. That was amazing. That was amazing. That was, oh my God, that was magical. Damn it. Oh my God. What? What? Are you okay? I can't see you anymore what raymond that was the best sex i've ever fucking had you ruined it for me grab your face graymond me too oh my god i'll get off of me raymond what i wrapped this sheet around me but what's gotten what's gotten

into you i've never had sex like that before and i never will again. Neither have I. So let's come on, let's do it again right now. I can't. Oh, come on. Okay, I'll give you a couple minutes but then it's back on up for you. Cut to me getting married. You may now kiss the bride. Kisses her. Fuck.

The whole church goes, Oh! Raymond, what is it? I'm never gonna have nuptials like this again. The father The whole church goes, Raymond, what is it? What's wrong? I'm never going to have nuptials like this again. The father of the bride. Well, I should hope not. Everybody laughs.

Please laugh. No, you ruined it. I, your wife, ruined this day for you? I don't like when I experience the best of the best because it ruins the rest. When else are you going to hope to have another day like this? You're saying that I've ruined every other wedding you're going to have? This is so like you.

I thought that you were just like a really extreme person and liked the whole church. It's like, oh, no, no, I'm serious. I can't believe it took me this long. But you know what? Maybe this isn't right. Maybe we haven't even been married two whole minutes and i would like a divorce because if this is what our marriage is gonna be raymond then then i don't want it i want someone who can appreciate joy no now i want it because

you're ruining it you're making it less good and so that means that it's a little bit more manageable wedding wise wedding well now it's not perfect. So now I'd like, in theory, there's something to strive towards and we haven't reached the peak. You're gonna strive towards a better wedding? In theory, I don't know. Well, I do know, Raymond. I take my ring off.

I put it in your palm. Yes. I'm done. Yes. No! You want things to go bad so that you can look towards a brighter future yes it's happening it's happening she's walking off the she's off the fucking aisle she's walking

down the aisle out of the church best wedding ever i love her so much i love her so much this is gonna work out um should we do our last review okay Okay, here we go. This is a five star from Liz. Liz Belt. Liz Belt? Yeah. Okay, this is for the cheating edition. Five stars. The title, Cheaters Do Win.

Right. My family, like most, could never manage to get through game night without someone being accused of cheating especially playing monopoly this game solves that problem because cheating is not only allowed but encouraged i love that if you falsely she loves it i love that if you falsely accuse someone of cheating and they can prove that they didn't you have to pay them money stops people from accusing everyone of cheating for no reason this game is so much fun and my favorite part is that it's not as long as traditional monopoly one game of the traditional would last at least three hours and we'd all grow bored. This game doesn't have that problem because the game ends when all the properties have been bought and all the tokens make it back to go. The cheat cards obviously encourage you to cheat, but so do

the community chest and chance cards. The handcuff is the perfect addition to this game and it adjusts to fit all the wrist sizes we have here bottom line whoever said cheaters never win was so wrong get this game and cheat to your heart's content you'll have so much fun it's like uh it's like a high school speaker series all right ladies and gentlemen uh we are so lucky that she came uh please welcome to the stage marianne buffy she is uh an accomplished alumnus she is an absolute force to be reckoned with within the business world and she wants to impart some wisdom on you guys on how to you know make it in uh in life so let's just uh without further ado, let's welcome Marianne. Oh, I give you like the little air kiss.

Thanks so much for doing this. Oh, Naomi, you are such a doll. Hello, Westview. Hi. Thank you for having me. You know what? I'm not going to sit down in this stuffy chair. I'm going to stand. We're going to be... Everybody's floor i haven't looked around like okay we're gonna stand because you know what unlike some of the teachers here i'm here to be real with you guys okay i'm one of you i was part of westview high uh x amount of years ago a lady never reveals her age and uh i came back because i don't think it's fair for people in the business world i hate using those terms to hold all the secrets of the trade it's really just not fair and so it's time that your generation hold the keys to the castle who's with me

turns on his slideshow the first slide is money laundering now i think obviously we need to start with the basics now who here already has a little bit of an idea of a little fluff and fold a little laundromat a little money laundering 101. The whole auditorium just kind of falls silent. Okay, okay. No one needs to be shy. You know what? It's okay. I'll start with a little baby bird,

spoon feeding a little bit. It's okay. I just, before we get this out of the way, a little subtitle card comes up. Cheaters do win. Anyone can win. Anyone can win. Anyone can win in this game

we call business. I like to consider myself a chef. I have a couple recipes I like. My favorite one is called Cookin' the Books

if you know what I mean. Right, Naomi? You get it, girl. She's in the front row whispering to the podium. What are you doing? The lesson is cheaters win?

I sent you my slideshow like a week ago for approval. No, you didn't. You said it's attached and it wasn't attached. You forgot to attach it. I just trusted you. You trusted me. Well, I'm the kid. Hey, kids.

Sorry. Naomi. Oh, sorry. Mrs. Fields. Yes. Yes. Hello. We have a question.

Kid in the front row. Hi. I just am a little confused. You said cheaters do win we've been kind of taught that cheating is bad and that you know you don't want to cheat on a test and there's consequences for your actions can you speak to that of course of course of course you know what what's your name what's your name i didn't get your name it's garrett yeah garrett everyone give it up for garrett can we give a round of applause for garrett please garrett i'm so glad you brought

this up honey garrett brought up an incredible incredible point there are consequences for cheating we know that right she goes to the next slot it's it's like a it's a state bank statement in her account for like 3.5 million dollars the consequences are that you have more than enough for a down payment on a tesla deafening silence yes yes sweet girl sweet girl in the front row hello yes honey what's your question yeah um don't you feel morally ambivalent about some of this stuff because i feel like there's uh there's a lot of gray areas ethically in business. And I'm just wondering how you navigate that because it doesn't seem like you're on the right side of it. What do you have to say about the double crossing that happens in a lot

of these high business fields? I knew I was going to get this question. I knew it. Every time I give this talk, there is always a sweet little angel like you wanting to make sure that I can sleep at the end of the night. And that is so thoughtful of you. And, you know, when it comes to the lot of gray areas. Next slide. He swatches Restoration Hardware. It's for a different gray scale. For bedding.

The title says, this is how I sleep at night. Ending parentheses, just fine. Well, honey, I sleep soundly in that gray area. Now this is for

the 2021 collection. I don't know. I also, hey, can you guys help me out here? Maybe this is time for our audience participation segment of this slideshow. Who's voting for Smoggy Day? Nobody does anything. Okay. Okay.

Whoa. I see. Not enough votes for Smoky Day. What about London Fog? Two kids in the back are like, yeah, that looks kind of good. Guys, what the hell? Whoa, all right, all right, we got some London Fog. All right, clearly everyone's been saving buzz for last.

Asphalt! Like a couple more people raised their hands. Yes! Naomi's like, no, guys, don't vote on her swatches. Listen, Marianne, I thought that you were going to talk about how to succeed ethically, how to get ahead. These are young people. They're impressionable.

You're giving them the wrong ideas. You're making them think it's all about money over everything and that it's about what bed you own. What does that matter? Naomi, I just want to answer something really, really quick. It's not about what bed you own. It's about what bedding you own and the bedding makes the bed. So at the end of the day, you can get whatever kind of mattress you want as long as you have. That's not the point. You know what? Your teachers, hey kids, your teacher really cares about you and wants to make sure that you all have successful futures because at the end of the day she's right it's not about money over

everything it really isn't you know you want to have you want to have scruples you want to have morals you want to do what's right you know you want all of those things you want it so badly that it hurts right you want it so badly that it physically pains you. Next slide. She's in a full body cast. It's a photo in the hospital. The caption says, this is what being poor does to me. And when you want to do the right thing so badly,

you end up with nothing but a couple broken ribs and a fractured collarbone. Yes, I'm happy to take more questions. Sorry, you wanted money and success so bad that it hurt you that you ended up in a body cast? That's exactly right. Because the idea of not being able to own four Teslas and a couple sets of restoration hardware sheets

physically pained me so much that I cracked my own ribs internally. They just snapped one day. The internal pressure I was putting on myself, my bones started to crumble and yours will too. You guys, I am a walking cautionary tale. Okay. My Cartier love bracelets are just jangling. I have like 20 on each wrist. I am a cautionaryary tale and that's why i'm here because you don't want to end up like the lady in that picture you really don't so i'm gonna pass out some worksheets if everyone could just write top three things they learned today the worksheets have like several different like questions the first thing is what's the most important to you? And it's a multiple choice, but there's only money, cash, and liquidity.

The second one is, and what was your favorite bedding? Just to be sure. And then it's London Fog, Asphalt, and the other one. And Foggy Day. Foggy Day. Foggy Day. And then the last one is, what's your favorite thing about Marianne? So if everyone can just fill those out, pass them down at the end of the row,

and I can pick them up afterwards. Does anyone have any final questions? You guys have been such an incredible audience. This is why the Bobcats are the best, Naomi. I've always said that this is why the Westview Bobcats are the best. Yes. Are you happy?

That's all the time we have for today you hear me scream oh another rib I bought my first concert tickets post-COVID. Now, it's not until like late November or mid-November, but it was a cool feeling to know that I might be at the Roxy come nightfall time. Who's playing? It's Somersault, the band Somersault. They're kind of a fun. I don't know that band.

They're a surf rock band based out of landlocked Austin beautiful and I love them I saw them at the Roxy once before or no it's at the Regent so it's even

closer but yeah they're great live can't wait that's so exciting that's a great feeling yeah it really is it's that hashtag

summer feeling but in fall post COVID Beast Beast featuring Daniel Rashid. Beast, Beast, ready to act. Beast, Beast, ready to act.

Is on Amazon Prime Video now. We just watched it. It's so good. We watched it last night. It came out. It premiered at Sundance last year. Daniel filmed it in the summer of 2018. He filmed it right after we started dating.

It's so good. it's so good it's so good uh we had a couple friends over to watch it last night and it was my fourth time seeing it oh wow i didn't know that um we saw it because we i daniel saw it once before sundance and then we saw it twice at sundance and then we watched it with his family this is my second time seeing it in a week wow um. But it's 85 minutes. It's just, it's so moving. It's so wonderful. The cast is fantastic. Writer-director Danny Madden's first feature,

which is wild. Go watch it. It's a heavy one. So I would say- There's lighthearted moments too, though. It is, but it's, I don't think it's one that it's like, let's get the party started.

Let's watch this and then do something after yeah I mean I'm not gonna give anything away but your jaw will be on the floor several times

it's just it's so it's so wonderful so go check it out Amazon Prime Video Beast Beast B-E-A-S-T B-E-A-S-T

hell yeast you can follow Riley on Instagram at Riley Anspa and on Twitter at Riley Coy yeast You can follow Riley On Instagram At Riley Anspa And on Twitter At Riley Coyote You can follow the show On Instagram

At Review Review And on Reddit R slash Review Review You can follow Jeff On Instagram At Jeffrey James And on Twitter At Jeff Boyardee

Shall we thank some VI podcasts Let's do it Woo Thank you to Aaron Carrico Adam Shea Agent Gray

Michael Hasty Skarn Cool Alan Alex Witt Alvar Wallstrom-Lindell Anna Liv Thank you to Aaron Carrico. Adam Shea. Agent Gray Michael Hasty Skarn. Ko. Alan. Alex Witt. Alvar Wallstrom Lindell. Anna Liv. Anthony Amadeo. Bagadoo.

My therapist hated that I wore the hoodie to my last session. It fell bag jokes on her. Bird Cohen. Bob Buell. Brad Hild. Brian Dodd. Chuck. Cameron Bradley.

Chasten Bales. Christian Bale Dior with a Veronica Webb. Connor Finnegan. Ker-baby-cher. Damien M. Tarkander-gunder-gunderson Kirk. Daniel Powerpuff Club. Douglas Pimlott, but say it like a sauce. Eric, I'm back and I promise my podcast is good.

Lost in narration on whole platforms crust. Fancy octopus. Gray has always been and I love my twin and wife Gray Nation. What are you talking about, Matt? Greg Bird.

Hallie, aka Gray Hasty's twin. Hi, Laura. It's Jack. You've blocked me on everything else, so this is my last resort. Please call me. I miss you so much. Jesus. I really hope this is a joke, because if it's not, I don't want to, yeah. Holly.

I am Mr. Oh, Michael. I am Mr. Tuesday Night, and Jeff owes me a lot of money since I keep borrowing him $20 every month. So you've been borrowing cash from me. You're Mr. Tuesday Night, and I owe you more money? That's right. Isaac Puff. Jake the Snake Radiff. Jake Knight.

Jake Ullman. Jamie Poncia. Jared. Jared K. New patron. Jared went to K. Jasper Hoffman. Jesse Tipton. Jive Gosley. Jimmy Song Laugh. Jonah Sanchez. Jub Jacob Jinglehammer Schmidt. Caleb Luster. Kevin Svin sunt kinsey ois

laura brennan new vi podcast woo lauren malang lord hunter the cool malik mark priest matthew lizama me making you say things makes you feel powerful and more importantly so happy heart about it you think so much i love you guys michael roland my My name is Jeffrey James and I love Downtown by Macklemore. I don't think so, actually. That's actually where I draw the fucking line, Joey Phelps. New patron. All right. New patron.

Nikki Crunch. New patron. Oh, yeah. New patron. Nolan Murphy is less employed than a coder in the 14th century, which is to say he's very unemployed. Nice. Nothing sometimes. P.

Phoebe. Phoenix McVernon. Rooster Williams. Sam Adams. Sam Armstrong. Sarah Hernandez's shaved head. Sarah Kilduff. Sleepy Brendan Metz.

Slick Ricky. Space Ant. Spencer. Steph Cass. T. Well, R. Slick Ricky. Space Ant. Spencer. Steph Cass. T-L-R. The Review Review Instagram, because obviously that's the only way anything gets put on there.

We post every time. Not always what we say we're going to post, but yeah. That's true. These vagabondals are longing to bop. Ty Samby's famously fat fanny. Will Benitez. Xander Madsen. And Yaro Bouchard. So thank you guys for subscribing at the highest tier.

If you also want bonus content and live streams, Zardes, a whole shibaz. It's patreon.com forward slash Riley and Jeff. And if not, well, then honestly for hurts to fucking hear. And if not, well, fine. We'll see you guys again next week. Thanks for listening to this episode of Review if not, well, fine. We'll see you guys again next week. Thanks for listening to this episode of Review Review.

Arrivederci. Cheese! That was a Hiddem Original.